VO: The nation's favorite antiques experts, £200 each and one big challenge.

Well, duck, do I buy you or don't I?

VO: Who can make the most money, buying and selling antiques, as they scour the UK?

I must be mad.

VO: The aim is, trade up and hope that each antique turns a profit.

VO: But it's not as easy as it looks, and dreams of glory can end in tatters.

What am I gonna do?

VO: So will it be the fast lane to success or the slow road to bankruptcy?

Should've just kept my money in my pocket.

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

VO: This week we're in a red 1960s MG, with Mark Stacey and Margie Cooper.

MARGIE (MC): Why are you in second gear?

VO: Margie is a dealer and a Road Trip newbie.

Still finding her feet.

But learning fast.

I didn't dare say a tenner, I'm not hard enough.

VO: While Mark Stacey, also a dealer, has been here before.

And it shows... kind of.

MARK (MS): You are a star.

Thank you so much.

Took half me hand away there.

VO: But after the last auction, where they both lost money, neither is happy.

MS: It's not going according to plan, is it?

MC: Well, not really.

I'm very disappointed.

MS: Me too, we're down, Margie.

MC: I was trounced.

VO: And it looks like things may be about to get even tougher.

MS: I've heard... MC: Yeah?

..on the grapevine, it's not quite... a normal auction.

VO: Mark Stacey began with £200 and has £191.06 left.

Doesn't look happy.

Not happy.

VO: While Margie Cooper who also began with £200, leads by just 80p, with £191.86 to spend today.

VO: This week's journey began at Chilham in Kent, and traverses southern England to the West Country and a decider in Torquay.

VO: Today's show starts out at Rochester and heads for an auction in Colchester, Essex.

Just about everywhere you look in Rochester, there's a fortification.

MC: Oh, now, here's the castle, on your left.

MS: Oh, yes.

It was a big naval base wasn't it?

VO: Its Roman name translates as "stronghold by the bridge".

And the town has always had great strategic importance, thanks to a position near the confluence of the Thames and the Medway.

VO: But before they start phase two of their campaign, Margie and Mark need to do some homework.

Do you think it would be a good idea to actually call the auctioneer?

MC: That's a good idea.

MS: Just to see... Yeah, and let's see... ..what kind of things are gonna sell.

Shall I do that?

Yeah, do that.

Go on.

MS: Well, stay here... MC: OK... ..cuz you might have a few questions as well.

I gather, we're coming to your sale soon, but it's a bit of a specialist sale, isn't it?

What sort of pieces are gonna be in that sale?

The second day has an automobilia section.

MC: Yeah?

MS: Yes.

Great!

Coins and medallions.

I don't think we'll be buying fur coats, it's not quite PC.

Militaria, oh, it's getting better.

I may as well go home now.

Toys, oh... MS: And... MC: Oh, no!

And miscellaneous.

Well Margie'll fit into that.

Bye for now.

Bye.

MC: Oh my good... MS: Well, that went well.

I haven't got a clue, Margie.

I know nothing about any of these sections.

Old coins, militaria.

I don't know.

We're stuffed.

VO: Right, so they're both out of their comfort zones.

This should be interesting.

Trying to buy something that'll go down a storm with the collectors.

Like militaria for example, or toys.

And if all else fails... ..say a little prayer.

Bless you.

MC: Arms and militaria, I mean it's all very specialist.

It's not good news.

No.

You see my shoulders drooping... with the stress?

My mind's so confused about the sale that we're going to.

Cuz it is all the items I never look at.

VO: Now, that looks like it might blow them away.

A gunpowder flask.

MC: Looks quite nice.

It's an American one - US.

VO: Or useless!

But when you know nothing else, how do you address the dealer?

MC: I'm in desperation and I haven't got a clue.

VO: Ah pleading ignorance.

Good start.

You've got 55 on it.

If I decide to have a go at it... Yeah.

No.

You wouldn't take... 30 quid for it?

OK.

Right, well, thank you.

Thank you very much indeed for your help.

OK. Bye-bye.

Er... (CLATTERING) MC: Whoops... VO: Steady on!

I don't think that's a very good idea, really.

VO: Ooh.

(CLATTERING) And calm down dear!

VO: Ah!

That looks more like it.

MS: It almost looks like some sort of bomb case.

It's got that funny little bulb in there which I'm almost sure is impossible to replace.

And it does say on here... "Oldham lantern.

220 volts," and then on the bottom we've got "Admiralty", so it is actually to do with the Navy.

£75.

Well, I have no idea.

You see, if I was looking at that I thought...

I would have thought at auction that was going to be worth £20 or £30.

MC: Are these medals yours?

DEALER: They are, yeah.

Can we get these out?

Really...

I think these are works of art, these, don't you?

All this lovely enameling.

They put a lot into them.

They do.

Gilded silver, I just...

These are medals for, erm... erm, masonic Oddfellows.

That's a funny old...

I don't know much about the Oddfellows... DEALER: No.

MC: Is it a bit like... Is it still going?

They're almost a club sort of thing.

I don't know.

Is it a secret club?

Like Masonic?

Well, a men's sort of... MC: Yeah.

DEALER: Yes.

VO: The Oddfellows are not the Masons but one of Britain's oldest friendly societies.

A forerunner of trade unions, where people banded together to protect themselves against hard times.

Nowadays they mostly raise money for charities.

So, what's the whole lot, then?

What are you asking for the whole lot?

100.

Well, I can't afford that, so 65 wouldn't buy...?

Not all of them.

Would it buy... DEALER: Three.

MC: Would it buy three of them?

Yes.

Right, so that one's 20 and that one's 22, so that's 44.

And that one's 30, so that's 74.

So, what's the actual death on that?

What did I say?

Can't you remember?

(CHUCKLES) I'm not telling you.

Just this age thing.

Yeah, I know.

MC: So would you sell those... DEALER: 50.

MC: 50.

DEALER: What was you thinking?

I was thinking 40.

DEALER: Go on then.

MC: Oh, bless you.

VO: Meanwhile Mark's gone one step further and got himself some proper militaria.

We've got a full set of medals here, which are obviously continental.

These look to be Belgian I think.

The real difficulty with these is, I know nothing at all about them.

These could be worth 50 quid, or they could be worth £300.

They're priced at 150.

They're pretty impressive to me, but, you see, they could be everyday medals in Belgium.

VO: Actually they include an Order of Leopold I with swords, the Croix de Guerre with palm leaf, a Military Cross and a Resistance medal.

I spotted your group of Belgian war medals.

I mean, you've got 150 on the main group of medals.

I mean, what sort of price could you let them go for, Bob?

Oh, that's too much for me, Bob, I think.

I don't want to push you too much, Bob, because you're specialist in this area, and you know your market.

110?

Yes.

You can't do them for 100, I suppose?

Cuz I think I'd have a gamble at 100, to be honest with you, because I don't know anything about them, but I'd take a risk.

Alright, lovely.

I'll pay 100 for them.

Thank you very much, Bob.

Well, I've agreed to buy them for £100.

I must be mad, because I know nothing about them.

Gwen, shoot me.

VO: While Mark shells out £100 for five Belgian honors... MS: Thank you, Gwen.

GWEN: Thank you.

See you again.

VO: ..Margie has grabbed the keys to see a bit more of the countryside around these parts... ..traveling from Rochester to Higham.

Much of this bit of Kent was immortalized in the novels of Charles Dickens.

Especially Higham Marsh, where Pip bumped into Magwitch in Great Expectations.

And on a street with a splendidly Dickensian name, Margie's come to visit Gads Hill Place - where he wrote many of his famous works.

For several years the house has been a school, but the writer's great-great-great granddaughter, part of a campaign to open Gads Hill to the public, will show Margie around.

Hello, are you Marion Dickens?

MARION: I am.

MC: I'm Margie Cooper.

Margie, nice to meet you.

MC: And you too.

MARION: Come in.

In his happy childhood in Kent, he had often walked past it with his father, and they'd always admired it.

It was one of their favorite places that they came to walk past and his father famously said to him, "Well, if you were to be very persevering and work very hard, "maybe one day you could live in it."

And of course that was just this impossible dream.

And indeed, in 1856, when it came on the market, when he had the money, he jumped...

I think he sent his agent down the next day, and he was absolutely determined to buy it.

VO: By 1856 works like Oliver Twist, David Copperfield and A Christmas Carol had already made Dickens Britain's most successful living author.

MC: So, this is his study?

MARION: Yes.

MC: Oh, wow!

MARION: It's great, isn't it?

MC: Yeah.

How lovely to be in here.

So, Marion, have you read all his books?

I knew you were going to ask me that!

(THEY CHUCKLE) Erm... no.

I love Bleak House, but I absolutely adore Great Expectations, which he wrote here.

VO: Dickens died here aged just 58, causing the British public to buy thousands of copies of this poignant engraving.

His desk and chair, just as the great man had left them.

He was really one of the most famous, and most loved men of his age, cuz everybody read his books.

He went into a shop.

There was a woman in front of him, who was saying, "have you got the next installment MARION: "of Nicholas Nickleby?"

MC: Yeah... And he was standing behind her thinking, "Well, no, because I haven't actually written it yet, "I've just come to buy the paper."

VO: Gads Hill was sold when Dickens died and later badly damaged during the war.

But original features like this fine conservatory are now being restored to their 1870 condition.

MARION: He built it on this end of the house, because it had this wonderful view down over his favorite Kentish farmland, all the way down to Rochester and the river and the places that he loved best.

VO: Although that view isn't quite what it was, one little room the writer knew well has survived intact... You must go and have a look in here.

I'll let you go in.

VO: ..despite constant use.

Charles Dickens's lavatory.

MC: The great man sat on there.

MARION: It still works.

MC: Does it?

MARION: Oh yeah.

I have sat on it many times.

MC: Have you?

(CHUCKLES) VO: Dickens did his writing at the end of the garden and had a tunnel especially built to get there.

He came out of his house thinking about his books, ignoring the busy road above him, erm, through his tunnel... Yeah.

..which is still in...

It was terribly well built.

VO: Although the little Swiss chalet he wrote in is no longer on the other side, the walk in the shadows can put you in a suitably Dickensian mood.

MARION: There's a lot of cobwebs and it's a bit spooky.

These cobwebs remind me of Miss Havisham's... MARION: Of course!

MC: ..dining room.

MARION: And her cobwebby old wedding dress.

MC: How sad was that?

MARION: Well, she was bitter.

MC: Well, you would be though, wouldn't you?

MARION: I know, and she taught Estella to hate men.

VO: While Margie departs with expectations nicely satisfied... ..Mark has remained in Rochester to seek out a few old curiosities himself.

When I walk into a shop like this, which is filled to the gunwales and everything is dusty... ..your immediate thought says... .."There's gonna be some right royal bargains here."

It's an interesting array of goods.

Oh, my God!

I wonder sometimes who on Earth comes and buys it all, really, or whether, if I come in a year's time... it'll be the same lamps hanging up there and the same bits of... metalware on the roof rotting away.

VO: Not if someone else buys it first Mark.

And it's an old gramophone horn.

Is it a salable item?

I haven't the faintest idea.

I don't know whether these are common or rare, but it must slot into the sort of gramophone through a tube or something, to let you get... ..what would we call it today?

Surround sound.

VO: Oh well, maybe next year then.

And what on Earth is this?

It's obviously got pinholes, so went up against a wall, like that.

And on the thing it says "an early snooker cue holder".

Well, actually for a snooker collector or someone who's got a billiards room at home, that might be quite fun.

I mean, how much is something like that worth?

VO: Don't know Mark, why not ask Bill?

MC: Hello?

VO: Hello.

I'm sure he'll have some thoughts on it.

I'll shake your hand.

It's dusty, but I'm sure yours are as well, aren't they?

You haven't taken all the dust of that, have you?

MS: Well... BILL: Yes, you have.

Is this really a snooker cue holder?

Yep.

So, I was thinking it's probably Edwardian or something.

I've never bought one before, I have no idea the value of them.

But I think £45 is too much for my needs.

How negotiable are you?

35.

It's £10 off, isn't it?

You see, if I was putting one into auction, I would put £20 to 30 on it.

I'd probably buy it, then.

Cuz I don't... Aha, well you would, but I just don't know how rare these are, you see.

And what about your handcuffs in the window, are they old ones?

Yeah.

Real, genuine, with the key.

You can use them on your mate, your mum, your wife, your mate's wife, anybody.

Steady on - this is a daytime program.

Oh, yeah!

They're not Houdini's are they?

No.

No, no.

They're mine.

I think they're rather fun, but again, you see, I can't see who's going to buy them.

£45 again.

That's your magic number today.

BILL: Every... yeah.

MS: Everything's 45.

So, you don't want them for 30 quid then?

I don't, no.

I mean, I just think they're quite fun, but there might be thousands of them around.

How many do you get in a week?

First pair I've had in 20... Thir... seven years.

I don't believe it!

Straight up!

MS: I don't believe it.

BILL: Straight up!

Bill, you're not telling me the truth.

I might have to put these on and cart you to the nearest nick.

BILL: Would I lie to you?

MS: Yes, you would.

VO: Now, is this another of Bill's dusty bargains?

Now, what's this?

Some people do collect these sort of things, these pipe racks.

And you'll never guess the price in a million years.

VO: £45?

45.

VO: Thought so.

Why am I picking up everything that's got £45 on it today?

Let's see what Bill says.

It has got a nasty... bit of damage there, though.

That's why it's 45.

Here we go.

Bill, I've got to get that a lot cheaper, if I buy it, cuz it's a very plain one, isn't it?

BILL: It's with the pipes.

It's with... yeah, but the pipes aren't smokeable and they don't go with it and I think somebody who buys that might be a gentleman pipe smoker, actually, who just fancies that for his snooker room.

MS: Do you see what... BILL: Yes, yes.

Do you see where I'm going here, Bill?

BILL: Yes, I see you.

MS: Are you following me?

Yeah.

You could be buying quite a bit today, then.

(CHUCKLES) Now, steady on.

BILL: 50's pretty good on those two, isn't it?

That's pretty good.

Has to be a bit better please, Bill.

Sorry.

Can we say 40 for the two?

BILL: That's less than half price.

But they've have been here a while Bill, and people don't... That's just come in.

No, I'm lying, I've had that quite a while.

And this has been up on the wall for quite a while, Bill, come on.

BILL: And what about those?

They will sell for 60 quid in auction.

I don't know if they will, Bill, honestly.

I tell you what, 80 quid and we've got a deal.

For the three?

For the three, yes.

That's half price.

But, I mean, if I were just doing those two, Bill, what would be the very lowest price on those two?

Well, there's 90 on them, isn't there?

50 would be... that's nearly half.

I know, I know.

Oh, Bill...

I don't know what to do.

If I said 70... ..for all three, would you...?

I can't afford to pay more than £60, £20 each.

MS: I'm sorry.

I can't.

BILL: I can't do that.

OK.

I can only do 70, so... we will have to part friends.

As friends.

Thank you very much.

VO: Then, just when it looks like the deal is dead, Mark finds something else to throw in.

Well, these are quite interesting.

What does it say here?

Mapograph.

South America.

So, it's like a sort of printing disk of some sort, so you presumably dip this in ink, and then you roll it out, and it gives you the outline of South America.

And there's others from other continents and countries.

Quite fun, aren't they, and I wanted something different.

He's gonna go mad with me.

Bill, have you got the handle that should go on there?

What, at that price?

No.

Well, I don't know... there's no price on the bag.

£2 each.

Oh, that's too much, Bill You said that without even thinking.

Well, I've got to say that, haven't I, really?

£2 each.

So, how many are there, do you know?

Eight, with the one you've got.

15 quid.

So, if I bought these, and this and this, what would they come to?

60 quid.

60 quid.

So that would be... 20, 40... Oh gosh.

Mark, is that too much?

A little bit.

Gosh.

A little bit, Bill.

Could we shake on 50?

Cuz you don't want these, they only clutter up the shop.

They're lovely.

The school were gonna have them.

They'll clutter it up.

They've got computers now.

They've got computers, with everything on the...

They wouldn't want these.

The kids wouldn't know what to do with them.

They'd only throw them at each other.

Meet me halfway, at 55.

William...

I've been so generous on all that.

William!

You know you want to, Bill.

Don't fight it.

50 quid, you'd have to get... yeah, alright.

You are a star.

Thank you so much.

Took half me hand away there.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: (WHISTLES) Good job Margie's driving.

Mark might need a good old lie down after that!

VO: Day two, and Margie and Mark have ventured into Essex... fully prepared to buy yet more stuff they know absolutely nothing about.

MS: I think we're up for the challenge.

MC: I'm sure we are.

Provided we buy the right things, dear.

Fur coats?

VO: Yesterday, Margie bought just one lot.

A set of three Oddfellows medals for £40.

DEALER: What did I say?

Can't you remember?

(CHUCKLES) VO: Meanwhile, Mark also acquired medals.

Belgian ones.

Plus a few other interesting items.

Total cost £150.

Leaving him with just over £40 to spend today.

I must be mad, cuz I know nothing about them.

VO: The two are heading for that auction in Colchester.

But their first stop in Essex is the village of Blackmore.

Despite apparently being named after a local swamp, Blackmore is a very nice place indeed.

In fact, on several occasions, it's been voted best-kept village in the county.

Oh, this looks pretty.

How lovely.

What a lovely shop.

Let's go in and, er, and have a look around.

Hello?

Hello.

Oh, hello.

Hi, I'm Margie Cooper.

And I'm Judy Wood.

Hi, Judy.

Nice to meet you.

VO: A quick look round confirms that Jericho Cottage is really quite traditional.

There's some nice things.

Enjoying myself.

VO: Yes, but how would any of it go down at a collectors' sale?

Is that, I wonder, the nearest thing to a fur coat they have here?

MC: These boxes fascinate me.

You see loads of these and they're made from porcupine quills.

I mean, where did they get all the porcupines from?

That's £38, but it's got a little bit of the inlay missing, so not really interested, but... they fascinate me.

VO: Hang on, the shopkeeper's coming up with something.

JUDY: They're ARP cycle lamps, cuz in the Blitz you... MC: In the Blitz... JUDY: ..you weren't allowed to have light.

VO: Air Raid Precaution Wardens needed to see during the blackouts of World War II, and these little hoods stopped the light shining upwards and giving them away.

MC: Right, so... JUDY: They're actually 12 each at the moment.

£12 each.

Right.

VO: Judy supplied the tip off, but the lamps belong to someone else.

Can you sort of reduce them for me, or... Because I don't know what I'm doing - it has to be cheap.

Like 15 quid?

Yeah.

That be alright?

OK, well, that's very kind.

I'll leave the money here.

Alright, yeah, OK, good luck and thank you.

He's agreed 15 on the two?

Yeah.

VO: That went well.

Has Judy got anything else up her sleeve?

Not really.

I know.

Er, my husband's got a garage out there, probably, but he's not... likely to have anything much.

Oh, yes, he has.

MC: Oh!

(THEY CHUCKLE) They make all sorts of money, they do, and it's got a proper Shell top.

Yeah?

That would go in the back of a... a car?

That would go on the side of the running board of the early cars.

MC: So, how much could that be to me?

It wants a bit of a clean up, perhaps.

A fiver.

Oh.

Well, I... And I think you could make a profit out of that.

Oh, that's great.

Well, bundle that in then with that.

So, 20 for the three?

JUDY: Yes, sounds OK to me.

Well, that's alright.

Yeah, great stuff.

VO: Automobilia and militaria boxes ticked, Margie still has plenty of cash left.

Time for one last peek.

Oh, now, that's quite nice, look at that.

Horse's hoof.

Ooh, look, I mean it's a bit gruesome, but they're quite... quite like these.

So some dearly beloved pony's been turned into a little box.

VO: Taking the hoof of a favorite steed and creating a snuffbox or an inkwell was especially popular with the Victorians.

Although when it was done to one of the Duke of Wellington's horses, he wasn't at all pleased.

Love those.

Got one of those in my hall.

Great.

A towel bell.

Edwardian bell here.

I suppose you could have it in the house if you wanted to call one of your servants.

Yeah, I rather like this.

Could get used to doing that.

Judy, are you around a minute?

Yeah?

What are you looking at?

Well, I'm looking at these two.

Cuz I quite...

I always quite like those.

Yeah.

They're nice, aren't they?

Originally what?

Well, that would have been a table snuff, JUDY: I would have thought.

MC: Yeah.

Yeah.

Somebody's favorite horse.

And then these, which I love.

I think they're great.

Oh, I do.

I've got one upstairs.

MC: I've got one at home too.

JUDY: From my childhood.

The person who brought those in has given me a certain amount of discretion.

MC: Right.

JUDY: So, they're not... although they're not mine, I've got a certain amount of discretion.

Right.

So that's 36.

Yeah, well he...

The bottom line on that I'm supposed to be paying him is 24.

Right.

And the bottom line on that's 28?

On that is... 18, which comes to 42.

VO: While Margie ponders that sum, the dealer is consulted.

Any chance of a bigger discount?

You're in luck, Margie.

MC: (LAUGHS) He actually said you can have them both for 35.

Oh, brilliant.

Oh, thank you so much.

That's alright.

I think I've got a real... got a real chance.

I love that.

VO: So, Margie is now the proud owner of a pony hoof, a bell, two ARP lamps and a petrol can.

MC: Bye.

JUDY: Good luck.

Thank you.

Take that, collectors of Colchester!

But while Margie's been grabbing all that, Mark's taken a ride, traveling from Blackmore to Ingatestone.

Where believe it or not, he's visiting Ingatestone Hall.

This 16th century manor house was founded by Sir William Petre, Lord Lieutenant of Essex and one of Queen Elizabeth I's most trusted ministers.

MS: Hello, Lord Petre.

JOHN: Hello, good morning.

Mark Stacey, very nice to meet you.

Very nice to see you.

VO: John Petre is the 18th baron and the family still lives here.

JOHN: I suppose I should point out Sir William Petre, who was the founder of the family fortunes.

He was secretary of state to four Tudor monarchs in succession, without a break.

Henry VIII, Edward VI, Mary and then Elizabeth.

He has been called the first civil servant.

He wasn't trying to grind his own ax, which was a rather unusual thing in 1561.

VO: The hall and lands were surrendered to Henry VIII during the suppression of the monasteries, and when Sir William set up home here, he demolished the old house and built anew.

Slightly ironic, considering the faith of Sir William and the dynasty that he established.

So, we've always been a Catholic family, so during the, er, 16th and 17th century, Catholic priests did shelter here and this is quite possibly one of the hiding places they used.

Gosh, it's tiny, isn't it?

One of the most well known ones that sheltered here, John Payne, was subsequently betrayed by a servant from here, who'd sort of recognized him and... and in the meanwhile had become a professional, erm, betrayer of Catholic priests, and earned quite a good living from it.

I'm sure!

VO: Ingatestone Hall is one of the few properties in Britain to have not one but two priest's holes, and there are several other reminders of the Petres' faith.

JOHN: There's all sorts of knickknacks, if you like, objets trouves and a lot of them we don't know much about, we just discovered them in a drawer.

For instance, this is a rather interesting piece.

Ooh.

It's described as a clock of the passion, but beyond that it's a bit of a mystery as to actually what it is.

MS: Immediately you can see it's absolutely beautifully made.

JOHN: And then you open it up, inside there are these extraordinary carvings.

MS: Oh good heavens.

Instantly when you look at this shape, you think of an 18th century fob watch, gentleman's fob watch.

Quite so.

If it was that and you were trying not to show your religious leanings, then you'd think you'd have something innocuous on the front... JOHN: Absolutely.

MS: Something quiet.

Absolutely, yes... And then only you would know that next to you, whenever you felt the need to use it, was something very important to you, but this is blatantly saying this is what it is.

Absolutely.

And this was surely not found in a box somewhere?

Well, yes, just in a drawer, sort of thing, with a label attached saying "clock of the passion", but, er...

It never happens to me at home.

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: How Mark's managed to drag himself away from all those goodies, we'll never know.

Dedication I suppose, and the fact that he desperately wants to win at that auction.

Picking up Margie to drive from Ingatestone to Battlesbridge.

This is a huge place and it closes soon.

How will our two cope?

I'm not that keen on these kind of centers.

There's a lot of reproduction.

VO: Not well it seems.

It's a naval hat from HMS Pembroke.

This is ridiculous, you know, because I'm just finding things because they remind me of something and Pembroke is in Wales and I had a cousin who lived in Pembroke.

But who on Earth wants to buy a HMS Pembroke sailor's hat?

(WHISPERS) Nothing there, nothing there.

No, no, no, no.

"Art deco style" means it's brand new.

There's nothing here, it's all modern.

Oh dear.

Feeling depressed.

Bit of silver.

Oh dear, this is getting a disaster, isn't it?

Oh, bit of a moaner, aren't I, today?

It's a bit panicky now, you know, there's...

I've not much time.

You'll have to find something.

Will I?

Can you not point me in the direction?

I'm overfaced.

Well, I've been looking!

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: Mark doesn't have much time either.

But then with just over £40 left, perhaps he won't need much.

This is quite fun.

The only reason... that I actually quite like is... because it says 1964 and I was born in 1964.

I'm guessing it's a sort of trade sample of cards that you could've bought.

I mean, I don't know who on Earth would want them, but then I don't know who on Earth would want to buy the other things I've bought.

£15.

Oh, that's a possibility then.

Is this yours Sheila?

Yes.

You've got £15 on it, haven't you?

Yes, yes.

Which seems an awful lot to me.

Is it a lot of money?

Well, I gave a lot for it.

MS: Did you?

SHEILA: Yes.

Very, very best price would be 12.

£12.

You've been so sweet to me, and because it's the same age as I am...

Right... ..very young, I shall take it for £12.

VO: There's less than half an hour left.

MC: Losing the will to live here.

VO: But Margie might have something there.

Small advertising box.

Nice, isn't it?

I'm just scared that they're not right.

They look as though they're right, but maybe they're not.

Yeah.

Kosher seafood.

That's interesting, isn't it.

Monty Goldberg.

MC: Are these repro things?

DEALER: Yes, definitely.

They are, aren't they?

I thought they were.

VO: I knew there was something fishy about those boxes.

They're great and I'm sure there's a profit in them but I daren't risk it because I'm supposed to be buying antiques.

VO: Oh well, it looks like Margie's not going to spend her money today.

VO: Let's have a look at what they have managed to collect then.

MC: I've bought things I don't understand at all, you know, Shall I show you my first?

You kick off, mate.

It's a wall-mounted snooker-cue holder.

Oh, really?

Every home needs one.

Well, every snooker player home needs one.

That's a nice thing, isn't it?

I thought it was quite a sort of nifty little thing, really.

So, go on, tell me how much.

MS: £20.

MC: Oh, that's OK, isn't it?

MS: Is it?

MC: I don't know.

I've never seen one before.

I never want to see one again.

VO: Margie, show us your medals, love.

Oh, those are nice.

Are they Masonic?

No, they're not Masonic.

No?

They are what we call Oddfellows.

It was fellows from an odd assortment of trades.

Oh, right.

Oddfellows.

They're gilded silver and I paid... How much?

40 for the three.

It doesn't sound too bad, does it?

VO: One for the pipe collectors.

MS: I don't know why I bought this.

VO: Nor do I. MS: But it's a little ebony pipe rack Oh, my God, clay pipes.

I looked at it and I thought, "well, it's quite a fun object."

Silver mounted with a shield there.

Perfect for a collectors' sale.

£20, I paid.

That's alright, in't it, so what you hoping for?

Well, I thought it might make 40 or 50, on a good day.

On a good day.

Well, I don't think that'll make 50.

MS: Don't you?

MC: No.

MS: Oh, it's militaria.

MC: Wait a minute.

Oh, a pair?

Yeah.

And... Dah dah!

Shell oil?

A can.

With a brass screw... MS: How lovely.

MC: Yeah.

What d'you think?

Not what I would normally buy.

MS: Really?

MC: No.

And what did you pay for this one lot?

Yeah, what do you think?

I don't know.

20 quid?

Spot on.

VO: How will Margie greet this one?

Oh, my goodness.

MS: D'you know... MC: I saw that in there.

I was so desperate.

MS: The thing is... MC: That is alright.

I was born in 1964.

Oh, my goodness, you're a babe, aren't you?

I thought... not a magnet.

It's obviously a sort of tradesman's sample.

I just thought it was great.

Yeah, so what is it, sort of rep samples?

Look at this one.

Happy birthday.

Wet paint.

And then he's got it all on his back.

(THEY CHUCKLE) So, this is a representative's book?

Yeah.

Wrapped-up elephant.

"Don't tell me you've already got one."

(THEY CHUCKLE) But I think they're so of their time.

She said she paid a tenner, so she let me have them for 12.

Fine.

And it's got to make £20-30 hasn't it?

Yeah, that's your best one, isn't it, up to now.

VO: Ding dong!

MC: This is my last lot.

MS: Oh, is it?

MC: Yeah, not terribly old.

No, I don't like that one.

No.

We could've done with the name of the horse on there, which always makes it really nice.

Or the pony.

It's a pony.

So, probably a pit pony.

I like those.

I like them... do you find them a bit mawkish?

Well, it's quite interesting.

I wonder what they did with the other three.

Probably be an inkwell, originally.

Well, yes.

I just like them.

You could still put a little glass liner in that.

And this lovely little shoe on here.

30 quid?

35.

I'm not impressed with the amount of money you've spent, Margie.

MS: Now, it's my reckoning... MC: Yeah?

..you've spent 70...

I'm talking...

Yes?

40, 70, five.

Yeah?

MS: £95.

MC: Yes?

MS: On four items.

MC: Yeah.

But I didn't plan to do that.

I came here ready to spend, and couldn't find anything.

Alright.

Well trot off with that one.

So, I'm finished.

Now, I'm not going to show you all of my next item, cuz there's eight pieces in this item.

Eight pieces?

I'm just gonna show you one, as a representative sample, right?

Right.

There's a set of eight of these and they're called Mapographs.

Right.

And this one is England and Wales.

Right.

And I think you would have dipped them in ink and rolled them out.

And who would use those?

I don't know.

Who would want them?

MC: Well... MS: I don't know.

I've never seen one.

I've never seen one.

I have no idea about them.

But... MS: But I bought them.

£10.

MC: Oh well.

Right.

So, you've gone for medals as well?

Oh goodness, they're nice, aren't they?

They're Belgian.

I thought they'd go lovely on a jacket.

MC: They're in very good condition.

MS: They are.

MC: It's funny we've both gone for sort of medally things.

It is, but I've gone for a lot more money than you have.

£100.

(EXHALES DEEPLY) Will it be V for victory?

VO: Now, what do they really think?

I thought it was quite funny that he's bought medals too, for the militaria thing, and he's paid quite a lot.

And I thought, "Well, there must be a profit in them," but looking at them now I'm not sure how popular Belgian medals will be.

I like the hoof.

I like those.

I think he thought it was a bit gruesome.

And I suppose other people might think so too.

I don't think it's gruesome at all.

VO: After starting out at Rochester in Kent, this leg of our trip will conclude at Colchester in Essex.

Although the mood in the camp - don't laugh Mark - is distinctly fragile.

MC: Well, I suppose we can't do any worse than last time.

MS: Oh, I think we can.

MC: (LAUGHS) Well done, Margie, here we are.

Let's go in and see all our quality items, shall we?

MS: Well, mine, anyway.

(HORN TOOTS) Ooh, hello!

Was that a commission bid?

This car will be the death of me.

VO: Margie has spent £95 on three lots including some Oddfellows medals, a petrol can and a pony hoof.

MC: And what will be, will be.

DEALER: Yep.

MC: Thank you.

DEALER: Good luck.

VO: While Mark's blown £162 on five lots including a pipe rack, several greetings cards and some more medals.

I must be mad, because I know nothing about them.

VO: So, while the collectors size it all up, let's hear the thoughts of auctioneer James Grinter on what Margie and Mark have come up with.

Yes, the cue holder.

Well, it's a good quality thing, but whether or not we'll get a QUEUE of people wanting it, if you'll excuse the pun, we'll have to wait and see.

The ARP signal lamps and the Shell petrol can, if I had some petrol in that can I'd be pouring it over and setting fire to the whole lot, because they're not very interesting, are they?

VO: Oh dear!

(LAUGHS WEAKLY) Good luck everyone.

You're the first one up.

I know, with the weakest lot.

With your horse's hoof.

Will it go clippety clop or cloppity clip?

VO: Under starter's orders, then... ..and they're off!

JAMES: £20 to start me, ladies and gentlemen?

JAMES: £20?

MC: No.

£20 to start me somewhere.

MS: Come on.

JAMES: 10 then.

£10?

10 I have, down there at 10.

It's worth more than this, Margie.

12, 14 on the internet now, at 14.

16.

At £16 bid now.

At 16, against you.

At £16 bid now, at 16.

JAMES: At £16.

MC: Oh no!

All done now at £16?

Oh, Margie!

Oh, for goodness' sake.

VO: A loss of £19.

Even bigger after commission.

You've got plenty more star items to come.

VO: Next, Mark's dusty snooker cue rack.

JAMES: 10 to start me?

MS: Nobody's bidding.

10 for it?

10 I have, at £10 any now, at 10?

At £10 only.

No.

At £10 only.

It's going to be sold.

All done at £10?

MC: I'm sorry.

MS: Down £10.

VO: Ah well, at least it's... less of a loss.

Could we make a loss on every lot?

Shall we go for it?

VO: Careful Mark, your pipe rack is no cert.

£20 for the pipe holder?

Oh, this is silly.

15, then?

£15 for it ladies and gentlemen.

15 for it?

15 I have.

MS: 15?

JAMES: Maiden bid of £15.

JAMES: At £15 in the room.

MS: Come on.

16.

18.

At £18.

20.

MC: Here you go.

At £20 down here, at £20.

22 on the internet.

At £22 bid now, at 22, against you.

24.

At £24.

26.

At £26, on the internet.

MS: Oh no.

JAMES: £26.

All done at £26?

(GAVEL) £6 profit.

VO: Barely enough to put in your pipe and smoke it.

Tell you what, that could be the biggest profit today for us.

VO: Now, Margie's Oddfellows.

£30 to start me, 30?

JAMES: 30 I have down here now.

MS: We're 30 in.

At £30 bid.

Hear 32?

32.

34?

At 34 in the room now, at 34.

Come on, on, come on.

Against you on the internet.

36.

38.

At £38 down here now, at 38.

In the room.

40.

42.

JAMES: At £42 in the room.

MC: £2.

JAMES: 44?

MS: It's going up.

At £44, on the internet now.

All done now at £44?

Well, it's a profit.

VO: Hardly, after commission.

Aw, don't they look lovely on the screen?

Yeah.

MC: (LAUGHS) VO: Now for Mark's geography lesson.

30?

20?

20 I have.

Oh, we've got 20, I've doubled my money.

£20 only.

Come on internet.

22, 24, 26, 28.

At £28 bid now, at 28.

Do I hear 30 anywhere?

Come on, a bit more.

Being sold, all done at £28?

How much did they say, 40-60?

Yes, well they haven't.

VO: Come on Mark, it's a profit.

MC: Be grateful.

MS: 28.

VO: The book from the year that Mark was born.

And I start the bidding at £40 Ooh!

At £40 bid now, at 40.

At £40, do you have 42?

42.

44.

At £44.

Oh, well done.

Still with me, at £44.

Are you all done?

Pleased with that.

What did you pay, 15?

MS: 12.

MC: (GASPS) VO: That's put Mark into the lead.

Oh, that's fantastic.

Oh, I'm pleased with that.

Do you know, I might send myself a card for that.

Saying, "Well done, Mark."

VO: Oh no!

Time for Mark's medals now.

He paid £100 for those.

JAMES: 120, 130, 140.

JAMES: 150, 160.

MS: (GASPS) At 160 on the internet now, 160.

170, anywhere else?

170.

170 is bid now, on the internet now, 170.

At 170.

JAMES: All done at 170?

MC: Oh, well done.

(GAVEL) MS: I'm pleased with that.

VO: So, they really were worth something after all.

MS: You know, I was so worried.

MC: Well done!

VO: Ah, the stuff the auctioneer was so rude about, and Margie's last chance to win.

JAMES: £20?

MS: Come on!

£20 for them, £20 for them?

JAMES: 10 then?

MS: Oh, come on.

£20 I have on the internet.

Oh, £20 on the internet.

At £20 is bid now, on the internet, at £20.

Any advance?

I'm going to sell them.

All done at £20?

(GAVEL) Told you it was a good buy, that petrol can.

I'll tell you what - having that brass cap made all the difference.

VO: That result means that Mark carries the day.

I think we've given it our best shot.

Well, you've done really well.

I gave it my best shot and lost.

VO: Margie Cooper began with £191.86 and made a loss of £29.40, after auction costs.

So she has £162.46 to spend tomorrow.

Oh dear, love, cheer up.

Mark Stacey began with £191.06 and made a profit of £65.96, after auction costs, and so he now has £257.02 to spend tomorrow.

So the lead changes again.

This is shaping up to be an exciting contest!

MC: Bye to Reeman Dansie.

MS: Bye-bye.

MC: See ya.

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: Join us tomorrow, when Mark revisits his very first antique shop.

Just think, from a couple of shelves, I've ended up where I am now.

VO: And the pressure builds for Margie.

What am I gonna do?

What am I gonna do?

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