VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts... Alright viewers?

VO: ..with £200 each, a classic car, and a goal - to scour Britain for antiques.

I'm on fire - yes!

Sold - going, going, gone.

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

50p!

VO: There'll be worthy winners and valiant losers.

Come on then.

VO: So, will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?

Ooh!

Come on, I've got to get to another shop.

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

It's a brand spanking new Road Trip, with our antiques experts Mark Stacey and Catherine Southon.

These old friends are all set for a joyous journey together through Scotland.

CATHERINE (CS): Do you know we're about 20 miles from Gretna Green?

MARK (MS): Shall we?

Shall we?

CS: We could... We could!

We could go, el... We could elope and get married.

Should we just drive off there now and cause chaos?

Shall we?

They wouldn't know.

VO: Lordy!

First things first - you'll have plenty of chaos to cause on this Road Trip.

VO: Catherine is an experienced auctioneer, specializing in all things scientific and maritime, and she isn't afraid to blow her own trumpet.

(TRUMPET FAILS TO BLOW) VO: Well, sort of.

Seasoned antiques expert Mark Stacey is always striving to stay at the pinnacle of his profession.

Nearly there.

I'm nearly there, believe it or not.

Ooh!

VO: Mark has taken the wheel today as our pair set off with £200 each to spend, and a little racing green 1968 MG Midget to saunter around in.

We're not going to be competitive are we?

We're never competitive.

CS: We're gonna ease gently... MS: Catherine, it'll be... Catherine, no competition.

It doesn't matter, as long as I win.

It'll be fine.

If you remember that, we're going to get on and we'll have a lovely week.

We will.

VO: Well, one of you will anyway.

Our trip takes them up and down the length of Scotland, starting in New Abbey in Dumfries & Galloway, traveling through Glasgow, Dundee, Aberdeen and Inverness, before ending up back in the capital city of Edinburgh for the final auction.

This leg takes us from Dumfries & Galloway, meandering through Ayrshire and into Renfrewshire.

We'll be starting in the village of New Abbey and finishing at an auction in Paisley.

New Abbey in Kirkcudbrightshire is home to the romantic Sweetheart Abbey.

It was named in honor of Dervorguilla, who built the monastery in memory of her husband, John de Balliol, and was later buried beside his embalmed heart.

Charming.

First stop for both our sweethearts is Admirable Antiques.

CS: I know, I feel a bit better now.

MS: Do you feel a bit better?

I do.

How do I get out of this?

I don't know, I've no idea.

So while you're faffing, I'll take the chance of getting in.

Yeah, don't help me, will you?

Oh!

As long as you're alright, Mark.

Oh gosh!

Hello, how are you?

VO: Inside they're greeted by owner Ian.

Ian, hello Ian, I'm Catherine.

Hello Catherine.

I'm Mark.

IAN: Hello Mark.

MS: Nice to meet you.

And you.

Love your shirt - great color.

Thank you.

Yes, he's trying to get one up on you already, or one up on me.

I'm going this way, is that alright?

CS: Can I have a little look?

IAN: That's fine, yes.

Thank you very much indeed.

VO: Mark's charm offensive might just pay off you know, Catherine.

He's already found a spelter figurine.

Large, white coat, painted dog.

It's a West Highland terrier, isn't it?

Isn't it a West Highland terrier?

VO: Yes Mark, it is.

But he's got quite a cute face, actually, I think.

And doggy... doggy subjects are quite nice, but I'm sure it's come off either the top of a clock or a pair of bookends or something.

24.99.

VO: While Mark ponders about his pooch, Catherine's struggling to find anything to ponder over at all.

I don't think I'm going to find anything in here, I think it's time to... move on.

VO: Meanwhile Mark is looking to do a deal on the old dog.

You know what I'm gonna offer, don't you?

Indeed.

A very sneaky £10.

I think we could do 15.

I knew he'd say that, you see, they always come back with that.

Look at him.

Indeed.

Look at the eyes.

Look at the eyes, Ian.

Don't look at anything, look at the eyes.

He's saying £10.

Back in the room.

Oh.

Back in the room, and what did the dog tell you?

15, back in the room.

I have to be even numbers, can we say 12?

13.

12, come on, go on, be nice.

OK. MS: Are you sure?

IAN: Yes.

Are you happy with that?

I'm glad it's going to a good home.

VO: First item in the bag - well done, Mark.

Come on!

Oh there you are.

What are you doing out here?

You're supposed to be shopping.

I have been waiting here for ages.

Sorry, did you not find anything?

No, I didn't.

Oh why is that Catherine?

How long could you take to...?

I hope you bought something after all that.

VO: Oh lordy .

These two are at it already.

Our experts are heading just over 20 miles north to Thornhill, where Mark's dropping Catherine off at her next shop.

She's come to Rosebank Antiques, hoping to be a bit more decisive.

Hello, I'm Catherine.

I'm Pauline.

Hello Pauline, hi, thanks for having me here.

VO: Pauline's ably assisted by the handsome Charlie.

Ah, has something caught her eye at last?

We've got a little mother-of-pearl inlay on the top, and then we've got lots of different marquetry and parquetry strips all the way round.

Nice hinges on the back, I quite like those.

The front of it is missing.

There would have been a bit of mother-of-pearl there.

There for the escutcheon.

It's a bit tired.

I actually quite like the look of it.

VO: Hmm, a bit tired and a price tag of £25.

This could be a tough sale.

Pauline and Charlie are no pushovers, don't you know?

What's the very, very best on that?

20.

If you can do it for 15 I'll have it.

I can't.

No?

Could you... meet me in the middle with that at 18?

DEALER: (CHUCKLES) CS: Please?

VO: So after some PAWS for thought...

I haven't bought anything!

I want to buy something!

VO: ..Catherine's gone for the old sympathy vote.

So have we got a deal at £18 on your box?

Yes, I suppose so.

Have we?

I'll take the box, thank you very much indeed.

VO: So Catherine's finally sewn up her first purchase of the trip.

Thanks Charlie.

Aw... Charlie.

VO: Meanwhile Mark's made his way 10 minutes up the road to visit Drumlanrig Castle, the ancient Douglas stronghold and Dumfriesshire home of the Duke and Duchess of Buccleuch and Queensbury.

But before he gets a guided tour, ever the opportunist, Mark's nipped in for a look at Admirable Antiques' sister shop in the castle courtyard, and something pewter has got his eye.

Standing by to assist is shop owner Dougie.

MS: So what's this?

That's, er... art nouveau, and that's pewter.

Cuz I'm not sure if that's an ice bucket or a jardiniere.

You could use it for a bottle of... a nice bottle of champers, couldn't you?

You could do, yes.

I never even thought about it.

Oh, it's got a mark on the bottom - Kayserzinn.

VO: Kayserzinn was at the forefront of the German art nouveau pewterware industry in the early 20th century.

Unfortunately, they're not as in vogue as they used to be, so can Mark bring himself to name a price low enough for it to do well enough at auction?

DEALER: Come on.

MS: £30.

DEALER: 35.

MS: (GASPS) We're so close.

Very close.

35.

OK, 35.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I like that, you're an angel.

VO: An angel indeed, as Dougie's even thrown in a pewter tray for it to sit on.

Now, getting back to why Mark was here in the first place, Stuart St John has been waiting patiently to show him round this magnificent castle, to look at the Duke of Buccleuch's art collection, gathered over 300 years and amongst the finest in private hands.

Well, I'll show you in this room, this is the inner hall, and you'll maybe be interested in this picture here.

MS: Wow!

STUART: This is... MS: Ooh!

STUART: You like the monkey?

MS: I love the monkey.

STUART: Well it's more like an ape, isn't it though?

It is, really.

But this is the fourth Duke of Buccleuch.

The one here?

The one in the red is Charles, and his younger brother Henry.

And the uniform is there in the case.

Oh yes.

And the gun is there as well.

And when was this painted?

Late 1700s, by an artist called Quadal, the Moravian artist.

The monkey is called Jacko, but it was a lot smaller.

The artist, Quadal, refused to paint the monkey in, so he said... Once he'd painted a blank sky there, he packed his bags and went home, and then the mother got somebody else to paint the monkey in.

Gosh.

Well I tell you what, both the monkey and the little terrier are looking rather ferocious.

Yes, but I mean, you wouldn't stand like that with a monkey like that hanging over your head, would you?

I don't know, I've never tried it!

I've only seen them in zoos.

VO: The internationally renowned Buccleuch art collection features works by Rembrandt, da Vinci, van Dyck and Gainsborough, as well as many other objets d'art, including this fabulous Boulle cabinet, a present to Louis XIV, King of France.

I mean, the quality.

Now, we've got a pair of bronze and gilt figures here.

Hippolyte, the Amazon goddess, and Hercules.

Holding up... Holding up the cabinet, yeah.

I mean, it is just amazing, isn't it?

VO: Active in the early 18th century, Andre-Charles Boulle, famous for his marquetry, and the most remarkable of all French cabinet makers, made a pair of these fine cabinets, the other being held in the Paul Getty Museum in Malibu.

But how has this got here from Versailles or wherever in France?

Well when the chap looking like Captain Hook, Charles II, marries Catherine of Braganza of Portugal... Oh yes, of course.

..his cousin Louis XIV gave him this as a wedding present, and then of course when his son, the Duke of Monmouth, the first Duke of Buccleuch, married, they were passed on to him, so that's why we've still got them.

But I mean, besides this, these as a wedding present, he got Bombay and Tangiers.

MS: No?

STUART: Yeah.

Oh gosh, I think I'd rather have the cabinet.

The others are difficult to house in a small room.

I suppose you're right.

MS: This is an incredible room, and the family's been so successful, but there must be some downsides, mustn't there?

Yes there is, come with me and I'll show you.

This is the Broken Heart Mirror.

You can see the heart is split...

Yes.

...and the wings are drooping.

Yes.

VO: In 1754, the first son of the third Duke and Duchess of Queensbury tragically died, and two years later they lost their second son.

With no heirs to their title, the Duchess decided to remember her sons with this especially commissioned mirror.

STUART: The boys are supposedly represented by the two swans in life and the two urns in death.

MS: Aww.

From such a sad thing though we've got a beautiful reminder of the past, haven't we?

Yes, yes.

You know, wonderful antique gold-wood mirror.

I have so enjoyed my visit, Stuart, thank you so much for having me.

That's OK, you're welcome, Mark.

Go for a cup of tea shall we?

Oh come on, that'd be lovely.

OK, OK. VO: So while Mark enjoys his tea break, Catherine's hot on his heels to check out the shops in the castle's courtyard, starting with owner Stephen in Restitch & Restore.

CS: Hello!

DEALER: Hello, hello!

Hello, how are you?

I love your hair!

Thank you.

It's wonderful, what a fabulous... DEALER: Found it on eBay.

(THEY CHUCKLE) That's fabulous.

VO: I see the charm approach is on full blast again.

CS: I love this, this is beautiful.

DEALER: German Bollerwagen.

Still use them.

Isn't that wonderful?

Easter in the villages, they'll fill them with sweeties... CS: I love it.

DEALER: ..and tempt all the kids to go and visit the dentists.

And Father's Day, the fathers do the same, fill it with beer, and the last man standing puts all the rest of the husbands back in and maybe drops them off at the right house.

But I love it, how much is this?

We've got a price tag of 350 on that.

VO: Ooch!

You might love it but it'll take a lot more charm to afford it, Catherine.

We'll think about it.

OK.

Think about how low you can go.

But it would have to be very low.

Give me an idea, go on.

Um...

I wouldn't want to say any more than about £80.

Maybe 120?

Yeah, I can't...

I c...

I've got to take it to auction and make some money on it.

It flat packs, it's easy to take to auction.

Stephen, whilst I'm walking around outside and around about, can you have a think and really think what you could possibly... DEALER: OK. CS: ..let me have it for?

CS: As a friend.

DEALER: Yes.

As a new friend.

VO: She doesn't half make friends quick, does she?

So while Stephen is left to mull over how much he really wants to sell his cart for, Catherine's popping next door to see our Dougie.

What's the... the, um...?

DEALER: Swagger stick.

Yeah.

Oh, is it a swagger stick?

Yes.

Oh, that's quite nice.

Oh, that's quite nice, isn't it?

VO: Nice bone handle.

Looks expensive.

How much is that?

That is on... ..at 85.

And how much is that with a nudge-nudge and a wink-wink?

With a nudge-nudge, wink-wink, I could probably do that for... 60.

That's a possibility then.

Right, what else have we got?

There's something nice and quirky for you.

Yeah, I saw that.

Nice letter opener.

I know.

Is it a letter opener?

DEALER: Yep.

CS: That's nice isn't it?

A little... probably a dachshund or something, is it?

With this... with his long tail.

And it's a letter opener, and it's brass, with these little green glass eyes.

VO: Woof!

Our experts seem to be pinning their hopes on canine collectables today, don't they?

Now what about a deal?

Right, so I like that.

45 would really help me out Dougie.

Come on then.

Thank you very much indeed.

That's wonderful.

Your little doggie...

Yes?

I don't think it's terribly old but it's just fun, I like it, the dachshund.

What could you do that for?

I could do that for 10 for you.

OK, I'm going to go for him as well.

For £10.

VO: So that's £55 in total for the walking stick and a letter opener, but what has Stephen decided about his cart?

I am on fire!

This is it now!

What can you do?

Come on.

Se...ven...ty.

You're nervous, don't be nervous!

CS: I can feel you shaking!

DEALER: (CHUCKLES) VO: No wonder.

Oh, shall we say 60?

Oh, OK, 60.

Oh, maybe I could have got it for even less!

No, no, no, it's cold.

Yep.

Thank you very much.

You've got lipstick on you now.

Yeah, I know.

VO: And we all know in the trade a kiss on the cheek means a deal has been sealed.

From a ticket price of £350 down to £60, that is a fantastic bargain Catherine.

It's been a productive day for our antiquarians.

Now both could do with a well-earned bit of shuteye.

Nighty-night.

Ha!

The glorious British summertime has greeted our esteemed experts, but at least they can still appreciate their surroundings.

MS: I do love Ayrshire in the summer, don't you?

It's lovely.

CS: Ayrshire is absolutely beautiful, but where's the sun?

VO: Well, looking on the bright side, you've both got some good deals so far.

Mark has been rather prudent with his cash.

He's spent a modest £47 on a spelter terrier figure and a pewter art nouveau ice bucket and tray.

That leaves him with a whopping £153 to splash about.

VO: Catherine meanwhile has pushed the boat out, spending a mighty £133 on a wooden marquetry workbox, a dachshund letter opener, a walking stick and a pine wagon, leaving her with just £67 to spend.

Mark and Catherine are heading 62 miles northwest to the small town of Kilbirnie in North Ayrshire, but things aren't going quite to plan.

(ENGINE STUTTERS) I just don't know.

I really don't know.

Well, thank you very much, Catherine.

Oh, look... it's not my fault.

I don't know what's happened.

You are sabotaging me.

I've now got to struggle up to my shop.

Mark, it's 300 yards, it's not far.

CS: It's hardly a struggle.

MS: Catherine, Catherine, this is just the beginning of the week, I'm going to remember this.

So you're going to just leave me and abandon me in the middle of nowhere with this car?

VO: Oh crikey.

With a full day of shopping ahead of him, Mark's having to hotfoot it up to the working farm which houses Stirrup Cup Antiques, while poor Catherine's left to sort out the MG. VO: Ooh look, Mark's been lured into the mahogany chest, where he's spotted a shell design spoon with a hoof-decorated handle, and Greta is on hand to help.

I mean, looking at...

It's absolutely beautiful.

..the design...

It's very nice quality.

DEALER: Would you think it was continental?

MS: I think it's continental.

I mean, it doesn't seem to have any English hallmarks on it, and although we have a shell motif a lot in English silver, erm, we don't have this sort of stem in English silver, with this little decoration there.

DEALER: Right.

VO: At £30 it's reasonably priced, but Mark wants to keep looking, in case there's more hidden treasure in Greta's galleon.

MS: I absolutely adore these chairs.

I love interesting words in antiques.

And one of my favorite words is "metamorphic".

Now, metamorphic means it changes into something, so if you undo...

There might be one the other side.

No.

If you undo that hook, it goes from a rather sort of plain, ordinary-looking, Gothic, uncomfortable chair, which it will be uncomfortable... And if you go like this... ..it turns into... a lovely pair of library steps.

Ooh!

Well, it would do if I didn't break it!

VO: Whoops - steady Eddie!

With an asking price of £100, best to do a deal quickly, before you actually do some damage, Mark.

I think that would be estimated, if I'm being honest, at auction, at sort of £50-80.

That's where I see the estimate.

DEALER: Mm-hm.

MS: But... DEALER: I disagree.

Do you know, honestly...

They're very rare up here.

But also I'm interested in the spoon.

You are.

So we'll say £100 for the two items.

VO: This Ayrshire lass is not falling for it, Mark.

What else have you got up your sleeve?

But it has got a little crack, did you notice that?

Yeah, but I wasn't telling you that.

MS: You're very... DEALER: (CHUCKLES) You're very naughty.

How about £90 for the two?

I knew you were going to say that, but I like round figures, you see, and I think... Yeah, well 90's round, cuz I could have said 95.

MS: Oh come on.

DEALER: Come on, £90.

Well, I'm...

I'm... Come on - I've been very kind to you.

I'm going to have to split in the middle, 85.

DEALER: Aw... MS: Come on.

You like round figures!

Well I do like eight and five together, it has a certain ring.

Thank you.

Have we got a deal?

DEALER: We've got a deal.

MS: Can we have a hug as well?

(SHE CHUCKLES) You're a bad man.

You're a bad woman.

And I love it.

VO: My, that was some high-powered negotiating there.

I think I need a cuppa after that.

But probably not as much as Catherine.

With the Green Goddess in the garage, she's finally got a lift the eight miles south to Kilwinning.

Catherine's at Byre's Antiques and Collectables, with just £67 left to spend, and she's not hanging about.

CS: Looks sort of 1850s.

Oh, this is a nice presentation mark on that.

"To Mr G Richmond, "from Charles Small of Glasgow."

1844, so yeah, mid-19th century.

VO: And marked at £80, it's one to think about, but owner Shane's got another piece at the same price, to turn her head.

Mm.

What is that?

Well that's what makes it special, it's a pipe knocker.

Really?

It is a pipe knocker, yeah.

OK, so you'd knock your pipe against here and then all the bits would fall into... here.

All the ash.

Would you have ash?

I don't even know.

DEALER: Yep, ash.

CS: It's horrible.

But how popular are they?

Who wants a pipe knocker?

But it's Moorcroft.

And for a collector.

Yeah.

How much is that then?

I've got 80 on it.

What could you do on that, though, Shane?

It would have to be 60.

That is the absolute death on that.

Cuz you have to, OK.

Which is cheap for a piece of Moorcroft.

VO: But Catherine still hasn't forgotten about that telescope.

What would she like to pay for it?

I'd like to pay 40, Shane, that would be great, and then I think we'd probably have a deal at 40.

VO: But £40 plus £60 for the pipe knocker - that's £100 Catherine, and you've only get £67 left.

Ha!

So our clever expert has concocted a plan to trade in the walking stick she bought from Dougie, as well as her remaining cash, in exchange for the two items.

DEALER: OK. CS: Are you alright with that?

I would be fine with that.

That's a bit of a strange one, but I think we've got there.

VO: Yeah, strange indeed.

When you take into account the £45 Catherine spent on the cane, Catherine has actually bought the telescope for £52 and the pipe knocker for £60.

Confused?

Not as much as me.

Thank goodness that's her all shopped out.

Now, with the car back on the road, Mark's heading nine miles west, to the pretty coastal town of Largs.

In 1263, the Battle of Largs brought an end to Viking influence over Scotland, but our antique warrior is on the warpath to uncover the treasures within Narducci's Antiques.

So I've nearly spent all my money and now I've come to an Aladdin's cave.

You know, it's like all my Christmases come together, I mean look at it.

There's stuff everywhere.

It's wonderful.

VO: Could Mark be regretting buying so much so soon?

He's certainly seduced by the choice on offer here, and with £68 left to spend on his final item, is he going to buy big, I wonder?

Ooh - doesn't look very big to me.

Mark's found a cast metal statue of a gentleman in Regency dress, and at £35 it's well within his budget.

Franco's standing by.

How much is that?

I think he's off something, isn't he?

I think he is.

Do you think he's off a plinth or a clock or something?

Yeah, I do, I honestly think he's off a plinth or something.

It looks like it.

The base doesn't belong to it.

No.

No.

He's very English, isn't he?

He's very English with the tri-corner hat but I don't know...

Probably 19th century I would have thought, wouldn't you?

VO: I think I feel a deal brewing.

Could I push you down a bit do you think?

Try me.

VO: He's always trying.

What about £10?

No, couldn't do it for £10, Mark, honestly.

What could you do it for?

Honestly.

£20.

MS: £20.

DEALER: Do it for £20.

I'm happy with that.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Now I've got some cash on me here.

Oh lovely.

So if you don't mind taking cash...

I'll take cash all day long.

There we are, £20.

Lovely, many thanks.

MS: And again thanks so much.

DEALER: Thank you.

MS: Lovely to meet you Franco.

DEALER: You too Mark.

VO: Well, Mark's shopping's all done now, nice and simple.

I know someone who could learn a thing or two from him.

Let's find out where Catherine's got to.

She's engaging herself in a bit of history, and is traveling the 19 miles east to the small Ayrshire town of Darvel.

(PHONES RING) VO: Catherine's meeting up with Max Flemmich MBE at the Darvel Telephone Museum.

After 44 years' employment with BT, it was only natural that Max would carry on his interest with this collection of 100 years of the telephone.

(RINGING AND BLEEPING) (INDISTINCT PHONE CONVERSATION) Goodness gracious me.

CS: Hi there.

MAX: Hello Catherine.

Hello, hi.

Welcome to the Darvel Telephone Museum.

MAX: You're most welcome.

CS: Oh, hello Max.

Lovely to meet you.

Well... CS: I've never seen so many...!

MAX: Where do you start?

VO: Of course it was Scotsman Alexander Graham Bell who started it all off, inventing the telephone in 1876.

Max's collection begins in 1900, when there were just 3,000 telephones in the whole of the UK!

Ha!

So what is the very first one that we...?

The earliest one I've got, 1900, is a wall type.

With the, er... sorry, these things... With, like, the wooden... frame.

MAX: The wooden phone.

CS: Mm-hm.

Most were wood on the wall, most were metal on the tables and the desk.

And you turn the handle to get the operator.

In those days you had to have three batteries to power the transmitter.

And everything was combined on a wee parcel shelf.

So we've got this first stage at 1900s, and then where do we go from there?

One of the earliest recognizable table model was the candlestick telephone, as seen in Dr Finlay's Casebook.

Love the candlestick.

So elegant.

Very heavy, many varieties, many different styles.

Once they discovered everybody's mouth and ear was in the same place around the world, they put a transmitter on one end of a piece of wood, a receiver on the other end, called it a handset, which is kind of obvious what to call it, and ever since, MAX: the handset has been... CS: It's pretty much CS: stayed like that.

MAX: ..the name of the game.

So what about the dials, Max?

When did they first come in?

The dials in Great Britain first came in in 1912, when the first automatic telephone exchange brought over from America was fitted in Epsom, in the south of England.

VO: And it was in 1912 that the General Post Office took over most of the private telephone companies that had sprung up throughout the country, and continued to own right up until the 1960s.

Until that point, all calls made would have had to go through an operator at the switchboard.

And Catherine is finding out just how complicated that process was.

Oh, here we are, number 12, let's put him in here.

Can I help you?

Yes, could I have number 16 please?

Number 16.

You've done this before, haven't you?

Number 16.

Oh, that's only one.

Now we put it in.

I could get used to this.

(PHONE RINGS) Hello, number 16, Robert speaking.

Ooh!

Oh hello Joe, how are you getting on?

That's alright.

Yes, I'll be in tonight.

Thank you very much.

Oh Max, you're... You're fabulous.

Now you'd then take the plugs out again, MAX: cuz your call's finished.

CS: I take the plugs out.

Right.

It's quite hard, actually, isn't it?

I mean, you have to really focus and really think about it.

(GASPS) I bet you could hear a few stories, couldn't you?

You could, but you'd sign the Official Secrets Act then, and you didn't declare anything you'd heard as part of your job.

CATHERINE ON PHONE: Can I help you?

VO: Today we're all familiar with the telephone as a means of communication.

Mobile phones come with us everywhere we go, but Max still craves for the bygone era of the old dial-up house phones and payphones that kept Britain talking.

It's only when you see a museum like this... ..that everything comes together, just what your granny had, what her granny had and what you can remember back in the past.

They all have their times.

It is exactly that, and it's wonderful to come here and see that progression.

I salute you in preserving all of this, cuz I think you've done an amazing job, and your passion really comes across... MAX: Thank you very much.

CS: It's amazing.

Max, it's been great meeting you.

BOTH: Thank you very much indeed.

VO: So after that enlightening visit, our two treasure seekers are meeting up for the grand unveiling.

Shall I reveal first?

Get on and reveal.

I'm so excited to see what you think about my collection of items.

Look.

Right.

Remember the dog.

MS: Yeah, you saw that.

CS: I know the dog in the...

I remember the dog in the shop.

Metamorphic library chair.

CS: Oh!

MS: Gothic, oak.

So it turns into a library steps.

CS: Oh, lovely!

MS: Which I love.

I absolutely adore.

Cuz from here that looks very boring.

No, I know, but it's metamorphic and it turns into MS: library steps - fantastic.

CS: That is wonderful.

Oh, that's really interesting.

This is really sweet, you'll like this.

Look at that lovely hoof.

Ooh, I love that.

CS: Really nice.

MS: Continental silver, probably German, 1890.

I really love that.

£15.

One-five.

No.

That's a steal.

Kayserzinn.

Pewter, art nouveau.

35 quid.

VO: Hmm, not so keen on that, are you?

This is an unusual piece, Catherine.

I really, really like this.

I think he's really well modeled.

This 18th-century tri-corner hat, frockcoat, 20 quid.

That's very cheap.

I think that's speculative actually.

CS: Yeah.

VO: Right, your turn, Catherine.

CS: Are you ready?

MS: I'm ready.

Oh, you rotter!

CS: Why?

MS: You absolute rotter!

Why?

MS: Cuz I saw that.

CS: Oh did you?

And I loved it.

CS: It's really cute, isn't it?

MS: You absolute rotter.

Why?

Cuz I was going to go back and buy it.

It's really cute, isn't it?

I love it.

Only cost me £10.

Oh, you rotter!

I think this is '50s.

I adore that.

Yeah.

I said mid-'20s.

That is an absolute steal.

Do you know what that is?

Do you know, I think... Moorcroft.

I don't think Moorcroft ever made those!

Well it's a pipe knocker, apparently.

MS: A what?!

(THEY CHUCKLE) A pipe knocker!

You knock your pipe and that's where all your little ash would go in.

MS: Yeah, of course it is.

CS: No, it is!

VO: Oh dear - Mark seems a bit suspicious of that pipe knocker.

CS: Do you like my telescope?

Do you know Catherine, every reveal I know is going to have something scientific from you.

Not necessarily.

Carrying on the theme, that looks as if it's been knocked around a bit!

It has been knocked around.

Stop being so nasty!

Stop laughing about everything!

But this is quite nice.

But that cost me £18.

MS: Well, that's... yeah.

So you've only bought four items?

Wait.

VO: Was it something you said?

(SIGHS) (SHE CHUCKLES) Oh, my good lord.

MS: I don't believe it.

Look.

CS: Ta-da!

What do you think?

Oh I love it.

I tell you what, Catherine, that's a wonderful view of you pulling your cart behind you.

All you need to be singing now is "alive, alive-oh".

(THEY CHUCKLE) Don't you think this is absolutely fabulous?

MS: Well, Philip Serrell would!

CS: With all your plants CS: and all your... flowers?

MS: Yeah.

And how much was it?

60 quid.

Oh well it's nothing for 60 quid.

Well, it's certainly an interesting mix, isn't it?

Don't you think?

Is that all you can say?

After all my hard work - "an interesting mix"?

I think it's going to be fun at the auction.

I think that could be quite a sleeper, actually.

Give me a kiss.

Well done, come on.

Time to go.

VO: Well this is all very civilized, but now it's time to spill the beans.

What an interesting reveal.

I mean, I love that letter opener.

That dog is fabulous.

It's just up my street, a bit of vintage.

Shall I let you into a little secret?

I actually love all of Mark's items.

Actually, there's an exception, the dog.

It's OK, it's neither here nor there.

But I've got one or two surprises there, so who knows?

It's all down to the auction.

VO: It's time to get back on the road and head to auction.

VO: It's been a very busy first leg for our dynamic duo, kicking off in Dumfries & Galloway, meandering around the delightful Ayrshire countryside, and popping into Paisley for their first auction of the trip.

Ooh, I can't wait to see you weeping.

It's a shame they haven't got my cart outside.

I know, well, they burned it already, Catherine.

(HORN TOOTS) MS: Oh!

You're so excited, aren't you?

Do you know, I peaked too soon, that's the problem.

Can't get out of this gracefully.

Oh.

Gosh.

Go...

Right, come on dear, let's go.

Can you not call me "dear"?

Why not?

Because I'm not 60.

Well, with that outfit, you look 60.

VO: Oh!

The first battlefield for our bickering duo is at Collins & Paterson, auctioneers since 1848.

They also offer live bidding on the internet.

Presiding over our proceedings today is Stephen Maxwell.

Let's see what he thinks of our experts' choices.

The oak library steps, metamorphic steps, are always a good seller in auction, always a very popular item.

Should do very well.

With the wind behind it, should get three figures.

We've put an estimate of 80-120.

The blue and turquoise pipe knocker vase, or possibly a dressing table accessory, is marked Moorcroft on the base.

Whether it is Moorcroft is up for some debate, which could drastically affect what it might achieve in auction.

It might be a disappointing lot for the valuers, I'm afraid.

The antique trough wagon is an interesting lot, I haven't sold one before.

There's been a lot of interest in this item so far, so we've put an auction estimate of £150-200, but it could do a fair bit better.

VO: Sounds promising.

Mark and Catherine both began this leg with the Road Trip's bulging budget of £200.

Mark Stacey spent a shrewd £152 of his budget on his five lots.

Catherine Southon also amassed five lots, though spent every last penny, and even had to trade in one of her items in the process.

Right folks, concentrate.

The auction is about to begin.

First up is Catherine's brass letter opener.

A nice wee quirky lot this one.

What did he... "Quirky" I think he meant.

Quirky.

What can we say to get started?

£10 surely?

£10?

Thank you sir, £10 bid.

The gentleman has it.

MS: Should be more... (PHONE RINGS) MS: Oh a phone bid coming in.

CS: Phone bids.

Gentleman to my left.

15.

You're out.

With the gentleman standing, 15 has it.

Any advance at 15?

Are we all done?

We're selling then, fair warning to you, at £15.

(GAVEL) Oh dear, that's disappointing.

VO: A £5 profit for Catherine's dachshund letter opener.

Well, it's a start.

You've licked your face and a little bit more.

VO: It's Mark's cast metal statue, in Regency dress, up next.

£20 then, at £20.

At £20.

Nobody's bidding.

£15.

I'm going the wrong way here.

Yeah, completely the wrong way.

£15 I have to get started, 15, do we have 18?

15, with the gentleman at 15.

It's went very quiet all of a sudden.

It's with the gentlemen then, selling to the room, fair warning at £15.

Oh well, that's the way it goes, isn't it?

I'm really surprised at that.

I thought that would make a bit of money actually.

VO: Sadly not - it's a £5 loss, I'm afraid, and that will be even more after the auction house takes its well-earned commission.

Pity.

You're leading at the moment.

I don't know.

Sorry, di...

Sorry, what did you say?

Yeah, I... (COUGHS) VO: Something stuck in your throat, Mark?

You're up again, with the shell design spoon with hoof handle.

£20?

OK, £10 then?

I can take a hint, £10 to get started then for your spoon.

At £10, thank you sir, £10 I have.

Do we have £12?

With the gentleman at 10.

It's in the room, £12 bid.

You're out sir.

It's to my left now, 12 has it.

Any advance?

MS: Come on.

CS: What?!

15 bid.

18, 20, and 2, 25.

You're out.

The bid's to my far left.

25, so I've made £10 on it, Catherine.

At £25.

MS: Well... CS: Still seems a bit cheap.

Sounds cheap to me.

MS: I've wiped my face.

CS: I really, really liked... CS: I really liked that.

VO: You have indeed.

Back in profit, Mark, but only just.

It's Catherine's next lot, the wooden marquetry box.

£10 for the workbox.

£8 for the workbox.

CS: Oh, for God's sake.

MS: Oh, come on.

Oh, we have 10 on the internet.

Oh, 10 on the interweb.

CS: Good grief.

MS: T'internet is in.

We have £10 there on the net.

Any advance at 10?

Are we all done then?

At £10.

VO: Oh dear, a loss of £8 before auction costs.

There goes that lead you had.

Will her luck change with her big purchase, the pipe knocker vase, possibly Moorcroft, possibly not?

Well it's marked on the base "Moorcroft, made in England".

Make up your own mind on that one folks.

Oh God.

Oh.

Interesting piece nonetheless.

What can we say, £20?

No!

Thank you sir, £20 I'm bid.

£20 I have here seated, do we have 22?

22 bid.

25, 28, 30?

No, with the same gent at 30.

Any advance then?

We're selling to the room, fair warning, at £30.

MS: Oh gosh.

(GAVEL) I knew that was gonna do it.

Well, they knocked that out a bit cheap, didn't they?

I knew I shouldn't have bought that.

VO: Ouch.

Catherine really needed to make a profit there.

It was a bit of a pipe dream, that one.

Now, Mark's got a chance to take advantage of Catherine's bad luck - it's his art-nouveau ice bucket and pewter tray up next.

Can we say £50?

Oh, come along.

Art-nouveau bucket.

40 then to get started, £40.

Thank you sir, £40 I have, 42 at the back.

45, 48.

And 50.

No, you're out.

The bid's to my right at £50, it's in the room at 50.

Any advance?

55's on the net.

MS: Oh, it's on the net.

CS: What?

Ah, now, that's good, if the net's on it.

Against the net at 65.

Come on net, you should be coming back.

70 still in the room, against the net at £70.

Should be coming on on the net, the net should pick it up.

Out.

We're selling...

The net should come in.

Come on net, come on net, come on net!

(GAVEL) MS: Oh!

CS: 70.

Oh, I felt like Andy Murray then.

Come on net, come on!

VO: Crikey!

No wonder he's getting a little excited.

It's Mark's spelter terrier next.

20.

10, we'll start at 10.

Oh, you meanie!

£10 we have, at £10.

Do we have £12 for the Scottie?

It's with the gentleman at 10.

£12 bid to my left.

MS: No.

STEPHEN: 15.

You're out sir.

It's with the gentleman at 15.

It's now against the internet, the bid's in the room at 15.

Any advance at 15?

Are we all done then?

We're selling then at £15.

Oh come on, please!

(GAVEL) MS: Oh.

Another profit for Mark, although the dog may not be Mark's best friend any more.

Rotten little thing.

I never liked it anyway.

CS: (LAUGHS) VO: Now, can Catherine see a much needed profit on the horizon with her telescope?

£50?

Come on.

£40?

What?

What's happening, Catherine?

£30, thank you, £30 I'm bid.

CS: I don't know.

STEPHEN: Do we have 32?

32 at the back.

The optic's absolutely perfect.

Oh, it's creeping up.

Still at 35 to my left, any advance at 35?

35, we all done?

We're selling then, fair warning to you now, at £35.

I spy with my little eye a little bit of a loss there.

Yes.

VO: The right buyers just weren't there.

I think someone's got a bit of a bargain, if you ask me.

But it's a loss all the same, Catherine.

Now, any takers for Mark's last lot of the day?

It's his oak metamorphic library steps.

I think I'm about to lose the only profit I made.

Every time you say that, you make a profit.

No, I don't.

A few conflicting commission bids here folks.

BOTH: Ooh.

I will come straight in here at £95, £95... Oh, well done!

..for the library steps.

£100 in the room, 110.

120, 130, you're out.

CS: Well done.

MS: Thank you.

STEPHEN: 140's on the net.

STEPHEN: 150 with me.

CS: Well done.

150 on commission, against the internet at 150.

Come on internet.

The net is now out.

It's a commission bid then, we're selling, fair warning to you, at £150.

(GAVEL) CS: Well done.

You are a star.

Very good.

I told you, every time you're negative, it's positive.

VO: Looks like you're going up in the world Mark.

It's Catherine's last chance to catch up, but her continental pine wagon will need to make over £170 profit for her to win today, so good luck.

We have some conflicting commission bids here, I'm straight in, folks, and starting here at £120 to get the bidding started.

This it?

...on the trough wagon.

At 120, do we have 130?

It's with me at 120, 130 we have now online.

Got 140 with me.

At 150.

At 160.

It's with me at 160, against the net now at 160, I have here on commission.

Do we have 170?

Have you got your father bidding at home?

CS: No!

MS: Are you sure?

Seems cheap at that, does it not?

CS: It's very cheap.

MS: No.

CS: It's very cheap.

MS: Sounds very expensive to me.

Fair warning to you now, £160.

MS: Ridiculous price.

(GAVEL) Gosh!

VO: Well, a valiant effort.

The best sale of the day but not enough to catch Mark.

At least it means you've made a profit overall though, Catherine.

If this is the start of the week...

..I think the end is going to be explosive.

Do you think so?

Absolutely.

Come on, let's go.

VO: Both our experts started this leg with £200, and after paying auction costs, Catherine has made a profit of just £5.

Ha!

That leaves her with £205 to carry forward.

That scoundrel Stacey on the other hand has triumphed today.

He's made a bumper profit of £73.50, which means he takes forward £273.50 to spend next time.

MS: Onward and downward, as they say.

CS: Onward and upwards!

VO: Yes Catherine, the only way is up - hopefully via a garage.

(CLUNKING) VO: On the next leg of their Scottish adventure... ..Mark starts to run out of puff.

MAN: That's not at all bad.

VO: While Catherine tries some local cuisine.

Oh!

Oh!

That is revolting!

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