VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts... Alright viewers?

VO: ..with £200 each, a classic car, and a goal - to scour Britain for antiques.

I'm on fire - yes!

Sold - going, going, gone.

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

50p!

VO: There'll be worthy winners and valiant losers.

Come on then.

VO: So, will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?

Ooh!

Come on, I've got to get to another shop.

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

VO: They may be cruising along, enjoying the beautiful sunshine in Dundee, but there's an air of competitive spirit coming from our antiques experts Mark Stacey and Catherine Southon, as they begin the third leg of their road trip.

MARK (MS): Catherine, another auction down.

CATHERINE (CS): I know.

MS: You pulled it out of the bag, didn't you?

I did.

Yeah, I did, how did that happen?

MS: I do not know how that happened.

MS: But I'm over it.

CS: You're over it.

Good.

MS: I'm over it.

CS: Good.

That was history, Catherine.

VO: And there's still plenty to play for, including our experts' impromptu dog challenge.

VO: Mark, one of our Road Trip veterans, proved he has a nose for a bargain, making a whopping profit with his doggie offering in the last leg.

I mean, how horribly revolting is that?

At 48 are you all done?

VO: And Catherine's a dab hand at the antiques game, especially when unleashed on all things scientific and maritime... but she's not so good on dry land.

Oh crikey, I haven't done this for such a long time.

VO: Our pair began their journey with £200 each, and two auctions later it's still all to play for, with just over £25 separating the pair.

Catherine made it all square with victory in the second auction, giving her a more than respectable £245.90 to spend today.

While Mark faltered a little in the last auction but still has the lead overall, with £271.34 to play with.

Mark and Catherine are nipping about in their nifty little 1968 MG Midget.

MS: I'm going to be very, very tactical.

CS: Are you?

MS: Oh yes.

The gloves are off.

CS: Oh, that worries me a bit.

MS: The gloves are off, Catherine.

VO: Our traveling antiquarians are cruising the length of Scotland.

They started in New Abbey in Dumfries and Galloway, visiting Glasgow, Dundee, Aberdeen and Elgin, before ending up in the beautiful capital city of Edinburgh.

On this leg they'll start in Dundee and follow the Northern lights to the granite city of Aberdeen, clocking up 114 miles along the way.

Dundee is home to the longest railway bridge in Europe, spanning just over two miles across the silvery Tay.

VO: Catherine's dropping Mark off at his first shop.

Once a pig farm, then a garage repair shop, it's now filled with a wonderful array of collectables and oddities.

CS: I think you're going to need a lot of luck here.

MS: Oh, thanks very much!

Are you trying to unnerve me?

CS: Yup.

Well, I'll tell you one thing, it won't work.

Have fun.

VO: Just as well these two are old friends.

And inside Clepington Antiques, owner Derek is standing by to help.

MS: Hello.

DEALER: Hello.

MS: I'm Mark.

DEALER: Derek.

How do you do?

MS: Nice to meet you, Derek.

DEALER: And you, Mark.

VO: With Catherine snapping at his heels after the last auction, Mark's decided to get all tactical on us.

What I'm trying to do, we're going to a saleroom, so I'm trying to find things like this, which, you know, might need a bit of restoration but it looks as if it has just come from a house clearance.

Erm...

But there's no price on that.

(BANGING AND RINGING) VO: (CHUCKLES) That's a good tactic Mark!

Can I just point... Can I just say something to you at home?

That's not recommended.

You shouldn't actually do that!

VO: No, you should not - unless you want to pay the full ticket price for it.

Thankfully though, nothing's broken, but best find something else to look at, eh?

VO: Uh-oh, what have we got here?

A pooch purchase perhaps?

I just think these are so ridiculous, these things here.

Cuz that's how I felt after the auction yesterday.

So I had a lot to drink last night, and then I woke up feeling like that.

And I just...

I just think they are so absolutely bizarre.

Really liquor bottles, aren't they?

Yeah, that's right, that's what they were, they were decanters.

But to buy them...

I've got a price in mind which is very mean.

Is it?

MS: Yes.

DEALER: Right.

I'm going to say £10 for the three.

Do you know, we're so close?

You're going to give me 12?

No, I'm not!

VO: Ah.

No, that'll be far too generous for you, Mark.

I would love to buy them for a fiver, because they are just fun, aren't they?

They are fun.

Can we have them for a fiver?

Call it £2 each, £6.

Gosh, you are mean.

Absolutely.

I mean... Well, that's cheap, isn't it?

I mean, come on... just... MS: £6?

DEALER: £6.

Oh alright then, £6.

What have I done?

What have I done?

VO: Who can say, Mark?

Let's hope they don't leave you in the dog house.

Ooh!

But he's not finished yet.

There's something else tempting in Derek's den... an old industrial office phone.

Oh gosh, this is quite heavy actually.

That's an unusual looking phone, isn't it?

I mean, it's Bakelite, so I think date-wise we're probably looking at no later than the 1950s, possibly to the '30s.

Little pull-out here for your extensions or for writing a note.

VO: These old dial-up phones can be in vogue, whether as decorative pieces or rewired to work again with today's technology.

Priced at £30, time to get Derek back to see if your number's up.

What could that be?

Erm, do that for £20 for you.

MS: £20.

DEALER: That's nothing.

It's nothing really, is it?

For a piece of industrial history?

Oh I have got to have it for £20.

DEALER: Absolutely.

MS: Thank you.

Thank you.

Come on.

VO: So ringing up at a total of £26, Mark's raid has resulted in three dog-themed bottles and an industrial telephone.

Ha!

Whilst Mark shops, Catherine's making the short journey to Discovery Point, to explore the greatest monument in the history of this maritime city, The Royal Research Ship Discovery.

Though she sailed from many ports, the Discovery was built right here in Dundee, and was the last traditional wooden three-masted ship to be built in Britain, a ship tailor-made for the first adventure of its kind.

Oh wow, this is fabulous.

VO: The Discovery was launched in 1901, for Antarctic expeditions.

Her first mission was to carry Robert Falcon Scott and Ernest Shackleton to the South polar region.

She is now the centerpiece of a visitor attraction in her hometown.

VO: Being a real aficionado of all things scientific and maritime, this is a real treat for our Catherine, who's going to be shown around by Gill from the Dundee Heritage Trust.

So take me from the start, Gill.

1901, the expedition started?

Yes, well, she was the first ship in the UK ever built expressly for scientific research.

And the idea was she was heading off to the Antarctic for the first major scientific expedition there, headed by Captain Robert Scott, who was to become famous as Scott of the Antarctic, later.

VO: The Discovery was a ship that neither Scott nor Shackleton were particularly enamored with.

Its shallow hull rolled badly in the open heavy seas but was designed to withstand being frozen into the ice, with iron-shod bows, made to ride up and crush the ice with its deadweight.

GILL: This was heading south into really the vast unknown.

I mean, more was known by the astronauts going to the moon for the first time than these early polar explorers knew what they were going to face when they headed to the Antarctic in 1901.

VO: Five months after setting sail from the Isle of Wight, Scott sighted the Antarctic in January 1902.

He began charting the coastline, and was able to determine that Antarctica was indeed a continent.

Unfortunately, the ship became trapped in the ice and was stuck fast for two years.

GILL: I think it's a testament to how strong and how well built the ship was.

CS: Yeah.

They were actually stuck in the ice 20 miles from open water, and the ship withstood the pressures of the ice.

And when she was freed from the ice, she was virtually unscathed.

VO: Below deck, Scott and his team would be hard at work, making some of the most incredible geographic, geological and biological discoveries of the time.

This is wonderful.

So this is the officers' and scientists' wardroom, with its beautiful mahogany paneled doors and furniture.

The first thing that strikes me is, it seems very plush, very rich, with all this mahogany panels, it just seems a bit... upper class.

GILL: It is, it is - it's a very grand space.

But you have to remember that this was a working space as well.

So the wardroom table during the daytime would have been used for the scientific work of the expedition.

So they would have been preparing animal skins, dissecting specimens... Really?

Right outside their cabins?

Yeah, there would have been horrendous smells and things going on in here during the day.

But come the evening, that was all cleared away, the white linen table cloth would go on, out would come the Royal Doulton china, the silver-plated cutlery.

There would be grace, there would be speeches, there would be proper etiquette for dinner.

CS: Wow!

So they would eat...?

GILL: You know, real classic Edwardian Royal Naval traditions.

Yes.

VO: The Discovery Point museum interprets the vessel on all of her voyages, with information on her scientific activities as well as original items from the ship's inventory.

GILL: This is the expedition crockery that was specially produced by Royal Doulton, for use on the officers' wardroom.

So we have the expedition crest there, which is a rather nice image of a penguin, and the iceberg, "Discovery Antarctic Expedition 1901", and it was all part of, as I say, keeping the morale and doing things properly.

And then, this is an object which I almost feel has the status of a sort of holy relic.

These are snow goggles, and these were actually Captain Robert Falcon Scott's, they have his initials carved into the top there, "RFS."

CS: Oh yes.

GILL: But these were an essential piece of kit when you were out in the Antarctic, on the ice, to protect your eyes... From the glare.

..from the incredible glare of the sun on that vast expanse of ice.

And if you didn't wear them, or lost them or whatever, you could suffer from something called snow blindness.

VO: The ship went on to perform other duties but none as dramatic as the Discovery expedition.

Tragically, it was on a subsequent adventure that Scott lost his life, succumbing to the unforgiving Antarctic climate.

Though today, the Discovery remains a monument to the courage and adventurous spirit of the early Antarctic explorers.

VO: With the wind in their sails, Catherine and Mark have now met to drive the 13 miles north to the market town of Forfar, in Angus, where Mark's being dropped off at the compact and bijou Forfar Antiques & Collectables.

Oh!

Am I in the right place?

DEALER: You are, yep.

It's very small.

VO: No need to be personal.

Well, they do say good things come in small packages, Mark, and David may just have a few bits of treasure in his wee shop.

Well, I suppose I better just start at the door and... And work your way down.

And I'll see you in about half an hour, because I have got to... That panel is rather fun, isn't it?

DEALER: That's lovely, isn't it?

MS: That's really stylish.

DEALER: Mm.

I love the marquetry work in it.

VO: Marquetry is the art and craft of applying pieces of veneer to form floral decorative patterns.

That's not £50, is it?

It would be lovely, wouldn't it, if it was?

MS: Yeah.

DAVID: If I could buy it for 50.

MS: How much is it?

DAVID: 175.

MS: (GASPS) Oh, David, d'you know, I thought you and I were going to get on!

Aye, maybe we will.

Hopefully!

VO: It's one to think about, Mark, but it's a lot of money.

That's fun - what's that?

DAVID: It looks like he's Austrian maybe, I'm not sure.

DAVID: Has it got a number?

MS: It's got a...

It's got "number three England", and... DAVID: It's not then, is it?

MS: Just a number.

DAVID: It looks... yeah, um... MS: It kind of looks advertising or something.

DAVID: Mm.

What would you put in there - spills or...?

Tapers, yeah, something like that, yeah taper sticks.

MS: A polar bear.

DAVID: Yeah.

Actually, that's quite amusing actually.

DEALER: Mm.

VO: This majolica glazed vase has a ticket price of £35, but with two items catching his eye at a total of over £200, Mark's got a cunning plan.

You couldn't do the two for 120 could you?

No.

But what I will do for you is I will do 130.

Do you know what I'm going to say?

To heck with it.

I really like them, and that's all that counts.

Thank you David.

Thank you very much, Mark.

MS: £130 for the two.

DAVID: Aha.

Yeah.

VO: Well done Mark - two more items in the old bag.

That's £110 for the marquetry panel and £20 for the polar bear vase.

Now, let's see if Catherine's as flash with her cash.

She's headed five miles east, to Letham, in search of her shop de jour... Lovejoy Antiques.

Gosh, this is a treasure trove, isn't it?

Hello.

Hello I'm Catherine.

Hi, nice to meet you.

DEALER: I'm Barbara.

CS: Hello Barbara.

VO: Eagle-eyed Catherine quickly spots something pretty she likes.

This actually has caught my eye, that's quite sweet.

I think it has caught my eye because I would love to wear it myself.

Yeah.

That's quite nice, it's stamped 925, so it is silver, and I think these are probably amethyst.

What could you do that for?

I was asking 55 but I could bring it down... to... 40?

VO: It's in the art-nouveau style but maybe doesn't have a lot of age.

One to think about.

Now here's a rather snooty-looking fellow for your doggie challenge, Catherine.

(CHUCKLES) It's actually an ashtray.

This is fabulous.

He's absolutely brilliant.

Now, Mark bought kitsch last time but there is absolutely no competition here - this is fabulous.

VO: I think she likes it.

It's a cut above Mark's... certainly in price, with £75 on the ticket.

Smoking related pieces are no longer the height of fashion, but Catherine seems to have fallen for its more quirky quality.

That's two items to consider.

Could this be a third?

What does this pen say?

Can do quite well at auctions, 14 karat.

Yeah but it's important to check the nib and see if it's damaged in any way.

VO: You might have expected that emails would have killed the art of letter writing, but actually these days fountain pens are again becoming very popular.

This one is inscribed "The Queen's Pen", possibly in celebration of Her Majesty's coronation, which might explain its ticket price of £55.

Could it be 20?

No.

Best on that would be 40.

Oh.

VO: Oh, Babs is not for turning.

This iron lady of antiques is holding firm on her appraisal, so Catherine's looking to bundle the three items at a knockdown price.

The dog, the necklace and the pen.

DEALER: 130.

CS: Yeah, 120 I think is absolute tops.

DEALER: OK then.

VO: So that's just under half Catherine's budget gone in her first shop.

With the silver necklace and the fountain pen at £30 each, and at £60 for the ceramic poodle ashtray, she's clearly determined to win the pooch purchase prize.

What a busy day of shopping that's been.

Time to put your feet up and reflect on a job well done.

Nighty-night.

It's another fine day as our lovely couple hit the road again, and do I detect some love in the air?

CS: This is so nice, this is wonderful.

Noth...

It couldn't be more perfect.

MS: No cares in the world.

CS: You and I. MS: Together.

Aw.

Two little antique love birds.

Aw!

VO: Aww, sitting in an MG... K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Ha!

So far, Catherine has visited just one shop, but managed spend a mighty £120 on three pieces - a ceramic poodle, a gold nib fountain pen... ..and an amethyst and silver necklace.

She still has £125.90 to spend.

Mark has gone one better, buying four items already, for an even mightier £156.

He bought three novelty dog-themed liquor bottles, a Bakelite phone, a rare art-deco marquetry panel, and a polar bear vase.

So he still has £115.34 to spend accordingly.

Continuing their ascent north into Aberdeenshire, Mark's dropping Catherine off in the lovely village of Dinnet.

But Catherine's not here to sightsee - oh, no - she's going to spend in Auld Alliance Antiques.

And she's wasting no time in getting owner Dave to show her a nice Provincial piece.

Now that's Provincial Chinese.

Oh that's nice, isn't it?

DAVE: It is lovely.

Oh, I like that.

VO: It's very simple but very attractive design.

Might be 18th century.

CS: It has got a lovely feel about it, nice coloring and this is a nice design.

But it's...

There's not really a lot you can say about this is there?

It is quite... VO: You could ask the price.

CS: How much did you want for it, Dave?

I would say... ..50 quid and I'm sure it's worth a lot more than that.

Yeah.

It's the sort of thing that could make a lot of money.

It could do, in the right sale.

DAVE: In the right sale.

CS: OK. Shall we think about that one?

Can we put that to one side?

VO: Not content with what's on offer in the main shop, Catherine's going for a root about in Dave's spare rooms.

Steady.

I'm really, really scared of spiders, you see, and I've just got this horrible feeling... DAVE: Scared something'll come out and bite you?

I'm really frightened.

(CHUCKLES) Oh David, look at those cobwebs!

DAVE: I know.

VO: Keep calm, Catherine, and carry on.

CS: These advertising tins are very desirable.

DAVE: Very.

CS: Especially with the big brands, the big well-known brands.

And Lipton is right up there with the very well-known brands.

CS: That's wonderful, isn't it?

DAVE: I think it's lovely.

Showing all the tea pickers in Asia.

That's fabulous.

Is it on every side as well?

They've got something... oh it's lovely.

That's really nice.

It's just very, um... How shall I say..?

Rusty.

(CHUCKLES) VO: Yes, this rusty tin would have been filled with tea from Sri Lanka, or Ceylon, as it was known at that time.

How much do you want for that?

Oh, it's normally about 50 quid, like.

Yeah.

But because you are a special person you get it for a bit less.

CS: Oh, am I?

DAVE: Mm.

Mm.

Oh, you and I are going to get on well, Dave!

VO: You'd probably get on a bit better if you made him an offer.

CS: What could you do the two at?

50 and 40.

Och, 80 quid would do.

Don't look at me like that.

CS: Like what?

DAVE: My heart will melt.

(THEY CHUCKLE) Like what?

Well, 75.

75.

I'm happy to give you 40 for that bowl, cuz I think that's fine.

Erm...

I'd like to give you a little bit less than 35 for that though.

DAVE: 30 then?

CS: Yeah.

DAVE: That would be 70 for the two.

Yeah.

Is that alright Dave, would you be alright with that?

DAVE: Yeah, that's OK. CS: Yeah?

You could do really well out of that, actually.

VO: I think you could do really well out of that... and that's your shopping all done and dusted.

Meanwhile, Mark's made his way five miles north to the village of Tarland, hoping to clean up with a bargain buy at Tower Workshop, where George is holding the fort.

Welcome to Tarland.

I really like this.

This is called Mauchlineware, which is particularly appropriate for Scotland.

And it's basically an item of treen - treen is any item which is small and turned of wood.

VO: Mauchlineware was made in the Ayrshire town of that name for over 100 years, ending when the last factory producing these collectable pieces burnt down in 1933.

For me, it's appropriate I suppose, because on the front we've got Castle Street, Aberdeen.

And on the back we've got the Queen's statue, Aberdeen.

It's Queen Victoria.

I mean, this is, I think, going to date to the mid 19th century, 1860-ish.

But it's £120.

VO: Time to get George.

Could you do it for 40?

It'd give me a bit of a fighting chance.

DEALER: No, I'm not... MS: I know, I know.

I don't know if you know, but I'm not known for my discounts.

Oh you are, you are.

You're great George.

DEALER: That is a bargain.

MS: Do you want me to come back?

I want you always to come back.

Of course, so let's say 40.

MS: Well done, you are a star.

DEALER: I hate you.

I hate you.

But I love you.

Thank you George.

Done, I have bought Aberdeen for £40 - well, not the whole of Aberdeen, just Castle Street.

VO: My, my, it's not even the end of the day and both our experts are done with all their shopping.

And to celebrate, Mark's getting back on the road and heading for Inverurie, to visit one of the area's most magnificent castles.

Mark's arrived at the spectacular Castle Fraser - home to the clan Fraser.

The Frasers have been strongly associated with the Highlands since the 13th century.

The name Fraser originates from "Frysel", the name of a French knight who was part of William the Conqueror's invading force.

Hello, I'm Mark.

Hello, I'm Eleanor.

Welcome to Castle Fraser.

Nice.

I'm really looking forward to this, shall we go in?

ELEANOR: Yes, let's.

MS: Thank you.

This is a grand room, isn't it Eleanor?

It is.

Why are we here?

We're here to see this painting of Andrew, the first Lord Fraser.

He is the founder of the Frasers and he built most of what you see of the castle today, so it's his creation.

It's a great room.

I'm rather worried though that there's a funny hole in the wall up there.

What's all that about?

Oh gosh, yes.

That's clever of you to spot that.

Why don't we go and have a look at that?

Why not?

VO: As Mark has duly noticed, the striking simplicity of the walls in the Great Hall, is interrupted by "the Laird's lug", meaning "the Laird's ear" - a hole in the wall designed to listen in on any guests plotting against the Frasers.

Oh yes, now I can see straightaway.

MS: That's the hole?

ELEANOR: Yes.

Can I have a look down there?

Yes.

Yes, do.

Yeah, let's see what we can see.

Let's have a little look.

Oh yes, you get a really good view... of the hall, don't you?

ELEANOR: (CHUCKLES) You certainly do.

Oh, gosh.

It is quite low down though, isn't it?

It is strangely low down, yes.

They don't make themselves comfortable.

ELEANOR: And there's a dreadful story associated with that, which was that the Frasers had some people round from a rival clan, possibly the MacDonalds, who were their traditional enemies.

Ooh!

And they spotted through this hole that they were up to no good and they agreed that if Lord Fraser scratched his nose, Fraser henchmen would burst in and kill everyone.

Oh no.

And apparently, Lord Fraser, during the dinner, his nose started to get a bit itchy and he didn't think and he went... and then suddenly... No, they weren't all slaughtered?

They were, they were.

Oh, good Lord!

Well, I'll tell you that that's even more brutal than my battling on the Antiques Road Trip.

Well, if you enjoy a good battle, we can go down and see something quite interesting next.

I would love to.

Please lead on.

VO: From its founding, the clan has been active in every major military conflict involving Scotland, and after the union, many British ones too, with their military spirit passing down through the generations.

A later notable Fraser who lived in the castle, Charles Mackenzie Fraser, was an officer in the Duke of Wellington's army during the Napoleonic wars.

ELEANOR: Charles has a wonderful story to tell.

After he joined the army, he was sent to Spain, to attack the castle of Burgos.

He was ascending the castle on a ladder, leading his men.

He was shot twice.

MS: No.

ELEANOR: The first shot fractured his skull.

And you can see here the hat that he was wearing, and it actually has the bullet hole... MS: Oh my good Lord!

ELEANOR: ..right through it, where he was shot.

A very near escape.

Oh, dare I... Dare I ask what happened to the second one?

The second bullet went into his leg... No.

..which he tragically had to have amputated a few weeks later.

And our prized object in the castle is his wooden leg that he wore, which is just here.

Good heavens above.

This is his leg?

This is his actual wooden leg, yes, which he wore the rest of his life, but it didn't slow him down too much because he actually went on to have 14 children!

14 children?

What a wonderful story.

Eleanor, thank you so much for showing me around, I've really enjoyed myself.

It has been a real pleasure.

It's so nice to meet you.

I hope you have enjoyed it.

VO: From that story of bravery, we look for a story of hope, as our experts reconvene in the castle's gardens, to reveal their purchases... VO: Wow!

This must be one of the most spectacular backdrops the Road Trip has ever had.

Such serenity belies its treacherous past.

Now keep it friendly, you two.

CS: Are you ready?

MS: I'm ready.

Please don't tell me off.

Oh Catherine, that's amazing.

That is absolutely amazing.

I've got to look at it.

Oh it's fabulous.

CS: Look.

MS: But you've copied me.

Oh Catherine, that is fabulous.

Oh, I absolutely adore it.

You've topped mine.

Literally, with a top hat.

But I'm...

Honestly... Have you ever seen one like that?

Never.

I want him.

I'm going home.

It's mine, I'm not... CS: Come back!

MS: ..the auction.

CS: He's so Brighton, isn't he?

MS: I'm not letting... You're not putting this in the auction, I'm having it.

He's so Brighton, isn't he?

I'm absolutely having that.

He's so you.

MS: That's going to win the pooch purchase.

Well, I hope they have your sense of humor and your style in Aberdeen.

And how much did you pay?

£60.

Well, that's quite a lot.

CS: It probably is, isn't it?

MS: But I love it.

VO: Yes, I can tell.

Now, what's this all about?

CS: Well, I bought a tin.

MS: Yeah, I can see that.

CS: That's the best side.

MS: Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?

CS: It's quite nice, isn't it?

Lipton's Tea.

Great looking object.

Very, very commercial.

Interior design.

How much is it worth though?

£30-40.

Mm, well I spent 30.

So...

Yes.

Pen?

Mm.

I quite like that.

And a provincial bowl.

That could be interesting though, couldn't it?

No.

Erm...

It's Chinese, of a sort.

Yes.

But is provincial, so it's made in the provinces of China.

But it could be interesting, someone...

It could be.

If you keep saying it often enough Catherine, yes, it could be interesting.

CS: I'm convincing... MS: I think actually...

I'm making a prediction now.

MS: It could be interesting.

CS: I'm convincing myself.

It could actually be interesting.

CS: OK. VO: Well, we'll find out soon enough how interesting it could be.

So, moving on to Mark's bundle of goodies.

MS: Ready?

CS: Show me.

You won't like any of this.

CS: I will.

MS: You won't.

(CHUCKLES) This is not... MS: This is a little story, this is my pooch purchase.

Go on then.

But I've got to explain it to you.

Go on then.

This is me after the auction last shot.

This is me at the bar feeling really sorry for myself.

Ah!

And that's me in the morning, with ice.

Recovering.

Oh, that's wonderful.

I just think they're so kitsch.

Really, really, good.

£6 for the three.

Oh for God's sake!

VO: And for a touch of local interest... CS: Mauchlineware.

MS: Castle Street, Aberdeen.

CS: Aberdeen.

And the Queen's statue Aberdeen, and where are we selling?

Aberdeen?

I've never seen one of these before, have you?

Yes.

No, if it makes you feel better.

I love it, I think it's great.

Erm...

I think for somebody who wants a funky phone for their bedroom or hallway, it's great.

Yeah, what is it?

Just Bakelite?

It is JUST Bakelite, Catherine, yeah, it's just Bake...

I mean, it's not 14-karat gold, I don't think they did them in the '30s or '50s.

It's not set with diamonds, it's not platinum, it's not ruby-encrusted, it's just Bakelite.

That is all it is, Bakelite.

VO: So just to be clear, it's a Bakelite phone.

One, two, three, four.

No, there is another one.

CS: I knew it.

MS: Do you want to see it?

I knew you couldn't disappoint.

This, I think you'll hate it, Catherine.

I paid far too much for it.

But I just fell in love.

I love art deco.

And look at all the marquetry panel work.

That is amazing.

That's really, really nice.

Really nice.

But it was a lot of money.

How much?

110.

But I think after... You've pulled it off with the poochy purchase, you know.

CS: Do you?

MS: I do.

But not anything else?

I...

I don't know.

I just had fun with them actually this time.

MS: Well, we should have fun.

CS: I just really had fun.

I mean, the auction isn't important, we're not here to sell anything, we're here to have fun.

CS: Yes.

MS: Fun, fun, fun.

You'll definitely make on those, I think.

Come on.

I'm taking you home.

Oh good.

Before you witter on any longer.

VO: Yes, less wittering - more telling us what you really think.

I can't believe that reveal.

That dog, oh she's stolen my show.

I want it, I want it, I want it.

The big panel that Mark showed me at the end.

I feel that he may have overpaid for that.

£110 seems to me a lot of money.

VO: It's time to get back on the road and head to today's auction.

On the third leg of their road trip, our dandy duo have shopped their way through Tayside, Angus and Aberdeenshire, starting in Dundee and ending in Aberdeen for the auction.

Thanks to its famous sparkling buildings, the "Granite City" of Aberdeen has a very distinctive cityscape.

Known as the oil capital of Europe, its auction houses have thrived in this boom town.

MS: Oh, it's there, look.

CS: It looks more like a pub than an auction.

MS: I know.

Well, maybe we can get a drink.

CS: We might need it... MS: We might need it.

CS: ..after today!

We might need it after today.

No, we'll be alright.

We're fine, we've got each other.

Come on.

VO: The auction venue today is not a pub but in fact John Milne Auctioneers, which has been specializing in fine arts since 1867, so let's find out what today's auctioneer, Alan Fraser, thinks of our experts' items.

It is a mixture of good, not so good and quirky, I would say.

The marquetry panel, I think I have maybe estimated it slightly high at 150 to 200, but I think it's a quality thing and hopefully we can get something close to that.

The Chinese bowl, which has been cataloged as possibly 18th century, is much the same is my opinion, and we have had interest in it, and hopefully there will be interest on the floor as well today.

VO: Mark Stacey set out on this leg with £271.34 and splashed out £196 of that on his five lots.

VO: Catherine Southon began this leg with £245.90 and spent almost the same as Mark, parting with £190 on her five lots.

VO: Quiet please, the auction's about to begin.

Whatever happens, we will be smiling.

We will.

Don't worry about that.

Oh I won't.

I have got you by my side.

You have got me.

VO: I wonder if Mark's hopes for a profit on his telephone will ring true with the bidders.

£50?

40 for this item?

30?

20 then?

No-one interested at 20?

20 I'm bid.

22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38.

Well done.

40, 42.

OK, 42 with the gentleman seated.

Any more interest after 42?

Anybody at all after 42?

No-one?

ALAN: 42 it is.

(GAVEL) Well done.

Well done.

That's OK. VO: Looks like you got a bit of a fright there, Mark, but you called it right - a great start.

Mark's up again with his big purchase, the art-deco marquetry panel.

But has he overpaid and let his heart rule his head?

It looks nice from a distance.

Looks better from a distance.

It IS better from a distance.

£100 for this item.

How much?

80 for the panel?

60 for the panel?

40 then?

No-one interested at 40 for this panel?

40 I'm bid.

Holding it up now.

40 for the panel.

Anybody at all above 40?

42, 44, 46, 48, 50, 52, 54, 56...

Here we are, here we are.

No, 56.

(TUTS) Any interest after 56?

Oh dear.

No-one at all after 56?

No-one?

56 it is.

So I only lost, erm... £54!

VO: Oh no, he's not taken that loss very well.

Would you like me to put my arm around you?

I couldn't think of anything worse at the moment, Catherine, actually.

VO: Well after that crushing comment, Catherine, it's time for your first lot, the gold-nibbed fountain pen.

£80 for this nice fountain pen?

ALAN: 60?

CS: Oh... 40 for the pen?

20 then?

20 I'm bid.

Any interest after 20 for this pen?

Anybody?

22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 32 at the back of the room for the pen.

Any interest after 32?

32 it is.

Oh.

I had high hopes for that.

MS: 32... Did you?

CS: Yeah.

VO: Well, that £2 profit will be a loss after auction costs, I'm afraid.

VO: Catherine's up again.

Will her amethyst and silver necklace get her back on track?

40 for the necklace?

Any interest at 40?

30 then?

No one at 30 at all?

ALAN: 30 I'm bid.

MS: You've got 30, Catherine.

Anyone else after 30?

I have 30 at the back.

Anybody else interested?

35.

40.

40 at the back of the room.

Any interest after 40 for this piece of jewelry?

40 it is.

I think that's what it's worth, Catherine.

Yeah.

You've wiped your face with it.

VO: And a little bit more.

A neat £10 profit there, Catherine.

VO: Now, this should spark some local interest.

Its Mark's Mauchlineware pedestal vase, decorated with views of Aberdeen.

£50 for this item?

Oh.

40?

30 for this item?

20?

No one interested at 20?

10 then?

10 I'm bid.

Any interest after 10 for the Mauchlineware?

12, 14... 16, 18, 20, 22.

Yeah, it's going up.

Yeah, but it's not enough.

26, 26 nearer me.

I have 26 at the door.

Any interest after 26?

No one else?

26 it is.

(SIGHS) It's just not my day, is it?

VO: Oh dear, Mark.

Another loss.

Is there anything I could say to ease the pain?

You could leave.

CS: (LAUGHS) VO: A chance to redeem yourself now, Mark.

Up next is your polar bear vase.

40 for the...?

40 I'm bid.

Any interest after 40 for the polar bear?

Anybody at all after 40?

Anybody at all?

No-one?

40 it is.

There we are.

It's a little bit up but I'm still crashing and burning here, Catherine.

VO: But who knows?

Like the phoenix, this small profit may generate a comeback, Mark.

VO: Ah-ha!

Time for tea.

Will Catherine's advertising box brew up some interest?

£50 for the advertising box?

40?

30 for this box?

ALAN: 20 then?

CS: Gosh.

No one interested at 20 for this...?

20 I'm bid.

Any interest above 20 from anyone?

I have 20 in the center of the floor.

Yeah?

22.

24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34.

CS: Good man.

ALAN: 36, 38, 40, 42, 44.

OK, 44 in the middle of the room.

No-one else?

44 it is.

Something you'd naturally put in the bin... ..has made £44.

Thank you very much, Aberdeen.

And goodnight.

VO: Ha!

Glad to see you're taking this well, Mark.

Not!

Another steady profit for the lady.

There is no justice in this business.

(WHISPERS) He's bitter.

Bitter.

Are you making faces?

No.

VO: Up next is the first of the dog challenge lots.

Can Catherine's pedigree poodle win this leg's challenge?

We have this vintage Italian ceramic poodle, with top hat used as an ash tray.

With Mike there.

You see, people are laughing, it's making people...

Yes, I know.

But that's good though.

Ooh.

Not always.

£60?

40 for this novelty poodle?

Come on.

30?

20 for the novelty poodle?

20 I'm bid.

Any interest after 20 for the novelty poodle?

Any interest at all after 20?

I can't believe it.

No one else at all after 20?

No one?

20 it is.

Oh, Catherine.

I'm really annoyed, cuz I would have paid... Oh!

VO: Oh!

And with that loss, they're almost neck and neck again.

VO: So, how will Mark's novelty liqueur bottles fare?

This is it now.

My last lot of the sale.

Please redeem me a little bit.

£80 for these liqueur items.

£80, you are having a laugh.

50?

40?

Oh come on.

30 then?

20?

Nobody put their alcohol into decanters any more?

10 then?

Nobody interested at 10?

10 I'm bid.

Any interest after 10?

Anybody at all after 10?

No-one at all?

No-one?

10 it is.

VO: Time to lick your wounds, Mark.

You might have won the dog challenge but it's been a "ruff" auction for you.

VO: Now Catherine needs to avoid making a loss here.

Mark didn't find it interesting but what will the bidders make of her Chinese bowl?

We've had some interest in this and I can open the bidding on this item at £60.

MS: Oh, there we are.

ALAN: 65.

With Steve.

70, 75, 80, 85.

90, 95.

Wow!

100.

Er... 110, 120, 130, 140, 150.

Excellent.

150 with Steve, any interest after 150?

Anybody at all?

No-one?

150, Steve.

That's amazing.

MS: £110 profit Catherine.

CS: That's amazing.

VO: What a finish, eh?

And with that excellent profit, Catherine takes today's crown.

Well, Catherine... Shall we go?

..on that pleasant note, let's go.

VO: Mark started this leg with £271.34 and sustained a few bruising losses, resulting in a loss of £53.32 after auction costs, leaving him with £218.02 to take forward.

Don't look so gloomy.

Catherine kicked off this leg with £245.90, and that provincial Chinese bowl helped her make a very respectable £44.52 after auction costs.

Winning her second auction in a row, she starts next time with a bumper £290.42.

Go, girl!

MS: To the victor, the spoils.

CS: Oh, thank you.

MS: Get in.

"Get in!"

Well, Catherine, I can't believe this.

I'm barely back to where I started.

Oh Mark.

And you're way, way ahead of me.

There's no justice in this world, is there?

CS: There's no justice.

CS: I worry when you're in this mood.

(HORN TOOTS) MS: Oh!

That's what you think of Aberdeen.

VO: Cheer up, Mark - another auction awaits, mate.

On the next leg of their Scottish adventure... Mark has his ups and downs.

Ooh!

Oh!

VO: Whilst Catherine proves she's no pushover.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Really?!

For that amount of money, Catherine.

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