VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts with £200 each...

I love that.

VO: ..a classic car and a goal to scour Britain for antiques.

Yippee!

I've got pieces that could fly.

VO: The aim?

To make the biggest profit at auction, but it's no mean feat.

There'll be worthy winners... ...and valiant losers.

Hello, ladies.

VO: So will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?

But there's nobody bidding.

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip!

VO: Yeah!

VO: Today we're out and about with antiques supremos Mark Stacey and Paul Laidlaw.

Their approach is somewhat disciplined.

Stacey, Private Stacey!

I might have to lie down.

To the fore.

Show me those antiques.

Yes sir.

PAUL: Stacey!

MARK: Yes sir.

That's not an antique, boy!

VO: Oh I love it when you're all commanding, Paul.

Antiques dealer Mark Stacey is extremely complimentary of his road trip companion.

MARK: Wonder if that's Mr Laidlaw when he first wakes up in the morning?

VO: And he's always exceptionally enthusiastic.

It's going to be one of those days, isn't it?

I can feel it.

VO: This is Paul Laidlaw.

He's an auctioneer that drives a hard bargain.

How low can you go?

Much lower.

VO: And for a big man, he's in touch with his feminine side.

I've got to show the pinkie.

Doesn't that work?

VO: I'm not so sure, Paul.

At their last auction, Mark enjoyed a couple of meaty profits.

(GAVEL) But it wasn't enough to beat the might of flying- high Paul Laidlaw.

VO: From his original £200, Mark has made a rather slow rise upwards.

He has £335.06 to burn.

(GAVEL) But three-times-lucky Laidlaw has made an impressive wodge of cash.

From his original £200, he has a wondrous £619.60 to splurge.

VO: And getting the boys from A to B is the Sunbeam Alpine GT.

PAUL: And this seat is horizontal, I'm that laid back today.

Really?

Paul, I know your face.

You're lying to me.

You're lying to me, Paul.

VO: Mark and Paul are journeying over 300 miles from Sabden in Lancashire, all the way south to Bridgwater in Somerset.

On today's show, first stop is the Herefordshire town of Leominster and they will auction in the spa town of Cheltenham.

VO: The history of Leominster dates back as far as the 7th century but it really boomed with the wool trade in the Middle Ages.

Anyway, back to our loving road trip friends.

MARK: You're all heart, you know.

PAUL: (LAUGHS) MARK: Come on, let's go and have some fun.

BOTH: (LAUGH) MARK: Muchas gracias.

PAUL: De nada.

MARK: (LAUGHS) I think I'm going to go this way, Paul.

Well in that case I'm going that way.

See you later.

PAUL: See you then.

VO: To begin the day's shopping, the boys are going to scour the Secondhand Warehouse & Antique Centre.

Mark's first plan of attack is to find out what sort of auction they are going to.

Sensible.

OK.

It's an answerphone... ...Answerphone.

VO: But the number is permanently busy.

If I find out that's Paul Laidlaw on the phone to them, I'm not going to be terribly happy at all.

PAUL: Uh huh... VO: Uh oh.

All the best to you.

Bye.

Boy did I do the right thing making that call.

It's a specialist sale.

Vintage textiles, costume and related, allied with 20th-century decorative arts.

This is pretty darn focused.

In fairness, I'm gonna find Mark and tell him this, yeah?

Play the game.

VO: Very sporting of you, Mr Laidlaw - well done.

PAUL: Compadre.

I phoned the auction house.

Oh, did you?

I knew nothing about it, and I think I did the right thing.

Oh, well done.

PAUL: Specialist sale.

Oh yes.

Vintage textiles, costume and related accessories... Oh.

...allied with 20th-century decorative arts.

Thanks for sharing that.

PAUL: No worries, man, see you later, yeah.

Thank you, see you later.

VO: Well that's jolly nice of Paul, isn't it Mark?

Isn't it?

Whatever I do, he's one step ahead of me.

Cuz I was phoning the auction house to find out just as well, so anyway...

So I think I'll just go home actually to be honest.

I mean, I just can't do anything.

I can't do anything.

VO: Oh boo-hoo Mark, don't cry!

Pull yourself together man - and get buying!

MARK: (QUIETLY) What's this?

That's quite sweet, isn't it?

Very simply made.

Obviously it's a representation of Christ on the cross.

But this is a sort of rosewood here, maybe a coromandel or rosewood.

And then this is chrome.

Very angular shape.

That screams one period to me - art deco, 1920s, 30s.

I think that's quite fun.

The other fun thing about it is it's only marked up at £15.

You see, I mean, that's got to double its money, really.

VO: Mark finds dealer Chris to talk money.

Chris?

Sorry, I found a really silly little thing.

CHRIS: It's quite alright.

Well, not silly, I mean, it's just a bit of fun.

No problem.

I mean, I really like it, it's very art deco, isn't it?

It is art deco, yes.

You know, with the chrome and the rosewood.

CHRIS: Rosewood, yes.

But I need to get it for 10 quid.

You need to get it for 10 quid, oh yeah, well, I'm sure we could do that to help you.

Could you do that 10 quid, oh lovely.

CHRIS: No problem.

MARK: Look, I'll give you... VO: That was easy-peasy, Mark.

Right, how is Paul faring?

Oh.

Right, right, right, right, right, I need to start finding things, that's what I need to be doing.

VO: What's wrong with you, Paul?

You're usually buying for Scotland.

Oh, not enough time...

I'd like to buy something, I don't want to come out the first dip shop with nothing, I've never done that before.

VO: Oh dear - Paul doesn't seem to have had his porridge this morning.

Mark, on the other hand, is firing on all cylinders - he's already moved on to his next shop, just down the road - in Leominster Antiques Centre.

It's getting a bit hot in here again, I find that the temperatures keeps changing today.

I'm going to ditch my coat for a minute.

VO: Oh, diddums, he's such a sensitive soul.

MARK: Oh, good Lord.

I can't believe that.

I mean, there's a well-known designer in the 1930s called Mabel Lucie Attwell who produced lots of prints, and lots of printed china for Shelley and others, and I've just spotted here three bars of soap, believe it or not, in a little box, with Mabel Lucie Attwell prints on them.

VO: Mabel Lucie Attwell was a British illustratress, and based her famous drawings of cute children on her daughter, Peggy.

MARK: They're unbelievable.

"If you want to be loved, be loving", it said.

VO: It's the only way to be, Mark.

I must see these, actually.

Where's Jeremy?

(CALLS) Jeremy?

VO: Owner Jeremy responds to the yell.

MARK: I've found something absolutely ridiculous, which you will think I'm barking mad.

JEREMY: Alright... Ah.

These are my mother's.

MARK: Never!

JEREMY: They are.

MARK: I mean... JEREMY: Yeah.

Oh, you can still smell the carbolic or something in there.

I think they're absolutely amazing.

"Best 'posh-up' as folk all say - this may be a lucky day!"

VO: Well, hope springs eternal, Mark.

How amazing is that, British Legion Industries.

JEREMY: And um... MARK: And they're five quid?

I have to have them, Jeremy.

I just have to have them, and do you know, I won't even ask for a discount.

JEREMY: Well, that's very kind!

You could clean up, actually, couldn't you?

Do you know, I normally do the funny lines, Jeremy, thanks.

You've stolen that!

VO: No, that's my job.

Paul will think I've lost the plot.

I think I might agree with him.

VO: With two items in the bag, that should hopefully stop Mark getting in a lather.

Ahem.

VO: Back to Paul - he hasn't found any antiques.

(ENGINE SPUTTERS) And he's not having much luck with the car either.

(ENGINE SPUTTERS) (ENGINE REVS) VO: Oh, thank goodness!

VO: Paul's taking a breather from shopping and driving 30 miles away to Highley in Bridgnorth.

(TRAIN WHISTLES) VO: Paul is stepping back in time to the world of whistles and steam.

The Severn Valley Railway was in the transport business for 101 years, from 1862 to 1963.

A group of railway enthusiasts formed the Severn Valley Railway Society at Kidderminster in 1965 to safeguard the heritage of this once-great industry.

Paul is meeting with visitor manager, Nicky Vale.

I've got to wave.

(LAUGHS) PAUL: Holy Moses, they are beasts, are they not?

Yes, so you tend to get the real scale for size when you're sort of at ground level, because when you're on the platform, you do see them from platform level, you don't actually get to appreciate how big... PAUL: Of course!

NICKY: ..and how vast they are.

PAUL: And how many can I see here?

NICKY: Well, we've got eight locomotives here, and we've also got the Royal Saloon which I'll take you round.

PAUL: Ah, shall we?

NICKY: Yes.

I'm loving this.

(LAUGHS) VO: One of the star exhibits here is the Royal Saloon carriage - used by King George VI during the Second World War.

This carriage enabled the king to travel to bombed areas within the UK and also to help raise the morale of the troops.

NICKY: Well, here you have, Paul, this would be the king's personal valet's room.

This is where he would be living obviously because he was in charge of looking after the king.

And there's enough workspace for him obviously to help do his duties as well.

So he would press the king's shirts and things like that in here as well.

Then we have in here the king's personal bathroom.

PAUL: My word.

NICKY: And I'll take you through now to the king's bedroom.

So yes, as you can see, it was very ahead of its time with the air conditioning and the central heating that was in here, and you can actually appreciate the craftsmanship of the paneling in here as well.

PAUL: Indeed.

It's actually very smart, isn't it?

NICKY: It absolutely is.

PAUL: Even by today's standards, there's just a touch of modernity about it, very clean, very elegant, dare I say, minimal, spartan?

NICKY: Yes, well, as I say, it was still austerity, so it's not, you know, it was very much a functional saloon.

PAUL: Yeah.

And what about his safety, so if we're during wartime, what... What happens if the bad guys show up overhead?

Absolutely, well with that in mind, they built these effectively bombproof.

VO: This carriage was pretty extraordinary.

The protection of the king was crucial, therefore the steel armor and plated shutters made it weigh 20 tonnes more than the standard carriage.

NICKY: OK Paul, so here we have the living room, where many an important conversation went on with various heads of state, and Churchill, the king, the queen, Montgomery, they would have all been in here during the wartime.

PAUL: My word.

So yeah, middle of the war, there's business at hand, and he's got his red telephone there.

NICKY: That's it.

PAUL: "I need to speak to..." and sitting at his desk.

Replying to letters, making decisions.

NICKY: Yeah.

PAUL: A wee nerve center on the move.

NICKY: That's it, yes.

It had to obviously be incognito, so it had to fit in with the normal trains as well, so... Yeah.

So is there the possibility that this is scooting past your platform, and you wouldn't know...

Absolutely.

Yes, well, it's in the crimson color, so it would be within the normal British Rail... PAUL: Livery.

NICKY: ..livery, yes.

PAUL: Right.

NICKY: So you wouldn't know the king was coming.

Yeah, no flags waving.

No, no.

PAUL: It's way more than just a royal carriage, it's the time frame, the historical context that flavors it.

Yeah.

VO: It's time to blow the whistle, wave goodbye to Paul and find that cheeky Mark Stacey.

(TRAIN WHISTLES) VO: Mark is still in Leominster - he's found another shop and it's owned by Sally.

SALLY: So you're free to have a wander.

Lovely, I'll start at the top and work my way down, Sally.

SALLY: Of course.

OK, if you need any help, give us a holler.

MARK: Lovely.

And mine's normally quite strong tea.

SALLY: OK, any sugar?

MARK: One sugar, darling, please.

VO: Get your priorities right, Mark.

The first thing I'm going to do is start stripping off.

Now, don't get excited at home, it's only the jacket.

For now, but it depends how much I have to take off to get the right item.

VO: That'll be one of your famous funny lines, I suppose, Mark?

MARK: That's quite funky, isn't it?

That chair.

Really funky, it's very 1960s.

VO: Woopsie daisy, smarten up, Mark.

It's obviously structurally sound, cuz it's taken my weight!

I think that's rather fun, it's quite comfy, actually.

And this sort of plastic wicker, it all looks OK. No maker's name as far as I can see.

But I think that's rather funky.

"Bucket seat, flower shaped", it says.

£72.

I've never seen one.

That's quite visual though, isn't it?

(CALLS) Sally?

SALLY: Yes, Mark?

Could you pop up, dear?

Now listen, I love this chair.

I don't suppose the dealer is here for that?

No, but 65?

Oh!

72 to 65?

You see, that's a very fair discount, if I was buying it privately.

Um, I've got to think about what it would make at auction, you see.

VO: While Mark is pondering, he spots something else.

MARK: You've got a sundial here.

In bronze.

Gosh, it looks 1930s, doesn't it?

With that sort of square sunburst type design.

But it's actually got some Roman numerals here... MCMLXXVIII No, that's much later.

1978 or something.

VO: Ooh - someone knows their Roman numerals!

1978, it is.

It's not bad, you know, it's priced at £42, I think sundials are quite commercial items, you know.

Oh.

And also I like this.

This is a really cute little garden ornament, nothing special, reconstituted concrete, really.

But it's modeled as a little SylvaC bunny rabbit.

VO: This bunny is in the style of SylvaC pottery bunnies, which were very popular in the 1930s.

MARK: I mean, I don't think it's very old, but it's got quite a bit of growth and things on there.

But I think that's rather fun.

Priced at 15 quid.

That's nothing, is it, really?

I can carry these down and show Sally, see if we can get a bit off.

(QUIETLY) Yeah, come on, let's take them down.

VO: Sally has phoned the dealer, who owns all the items.

£45 is the very best for the bunny and the sundial.

But Sally's been asked to close the deal on the capsule chair.

I think I'll go for these two at 45, cuz I think they're quite nice actually, quite commercial.

What do you think the lowest would be if I took the chair?

It's marked at 72.

SALLY: 45.

MARK: 45?

Could we get it for 40?

Go on then.

Are you sure?

Come on... SALLY: You only live once, don't you?

MARK: ..Have a hug.

Oh, it's worth it.

MARK: Thank you, you've been so kind to me.

You're welcome, you're very welcome.

MARK: So I'd better give you some cash, hadn't I?

SALLY: It would help.

MARK: So 95 I've got to give you?

VO: Well, after a day of hard graft, it's time for the chaps to turn in.

Nighty night!

VO: The boys are raring to go and - as usual - they're being rather playful.

MARK: I don't think you bought anything yesterday.

You can see that I'm sitting lopsided because the wallet's that full.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And it probably will be after today knowing you, you jammy dodger!

VO: So far, Mark has spent £100 on five lots - the art deco plaque; the rare Mabel Lucie Attwell soaps; the capsule chair; the bronze sundial; and the bunny garden ornament, leaving a sum of £235.06 for the day ahead.

And Paul?

Well, he hasn't spent a single penny.

That gives him a great big sack of cash - he has £619.60 to spend on antiques.

VO: First pin on the map today is Lower Broadheath in Worcester.

I'm sure you will!

VO: Mark's being dropped off by the gallant Mr Laidlaw.

Mind the wheels.

Have a good day.

Absolutely.

See you later.

PAUL: (SINGS) Land of hope and...

Sergeant Major Laidlaw!

(LAUGHS) See you later.

VO: We'll catch up with Mark later.

But for now, there is a pressing need for Paul to buy some antiques.

VO: He is traveling 16 miles away to Evesham in Worcestershire - and as usual he's in high spirits.

Be alright, it'll be good.

It'll be good!

VO: With zero antiques in his pocket, Paul really needs to get into gear and start buying.

Hello there.

ANDY: Ah hello.

Paul.

Paul, right, I'm Andy.

Pleased to meet you Andy, are you the antiques man?

ANDY: I am indeed, yes.

PAUL: Most excellent.

PAUL: Whose is the big plaster cat?

ANDY: That?

Oh, that's one that Michael's had here for a while now actually.

VO: Don't tell him that Andy!

Dealer Michael won't be at all pleased!

PAUL: I like that.

It's plaster.

And very nicely patinated.

This is just paint, but they've given it a almost verdigris green patination, and then they've put highlights in gilding to lend the feel of patinated bronze rubbed at the highlights, showing the core metal.

That's cleverly... it's very nicely sculpted, and it's cleverly finished.

VO: And Paul's spotted another attractive female.

PAUL: She's quite foxy.

Mmm!

Yeah, terracotta body, green painted.

Deco-inspired, somewhat athletic, if not downright contorted.

And she's got... (LAUGHS) ..the longest legs in Christendom!

Quite sexy.

I think that's been over-painted.

It has, it's been repainted, but was green to start with, it's that malachite green.

Um...

I think I can forgive it that to be honest with you.

And we've got a price tag of £88.

Mm!

VO: And then something a bit bonkers catches his eye.

PAUL: What on earth is going on there?

And I'm winging it here.

We've got a donkey with wicker panniers, filled with fare, here's the key element - holly, and the donkey is crying out "A Merry Christmas".

What is going on there?

But it gets worse.

VO: I don't think he likes it.

PAUL: These insane barrels and bottles jumping, chasing, running, utterly grotesque.

Oh, what does it say on the back?

Nothing.

Is it damaged?

No.

It's insane, isn't it?

I mean, really... What on earth..?

I love that.

I absolutely love that.

VO: Oh Lordy!

PAUL: £55.

It's a lot of money for a Victorian earthenware plate.

Make no bones about it.

Is it a lot of money for this?

Get me another one.

VO: Paul decides on a figure of £120 for all three - the question is will the dealer agree?

A quick phone call later, and Andy has the answer.

ANDY: You must be a very persuasive man.

Because he's actually agreed, 120.

It's a deal then?

He has, it's a deal.

Thanks for your help there.

That's alright, no problem at all.

PAUL: Spot on.

VO: Blimey!

This combination buy gives Paul a total of £243 off the original ticket prices.

Gee whizz!

Paul's antiques prowess reigns supreme today.

Back to Mark, he was dropped off by Paul earlier in Lower Broadheath, Worcestershire.

Mark is visiting a very special cottage where one of Britain's greatest composers was born on 2 June in 1857 - Sir Edward Elgar.

The cottage was established as a museum in 1934 by his daughter, Carice Elgar-Blake.

The Elgar Birthplace Museum has a unique and nationally important collection of manuscripts, diaries, books and personal possessions.

Mark is meeting with Chris Bennett to find out more.

Good morning, I'm Mark.

Good morning, Mark, I'm Chris.

Welcome to Elgar's birthplace.

Thank you, nice to meet you, I'm looking forward to this.

Let's go in.

MARK: Ooh, steep stairs, Chris.

Yes, and we're going into the room where Elgar was born... MARK: Oh really?

CHRIS: ..on 2 June 1857.

But this is a landing, isn't it?

CHRIS: It is, yes.

Or it appears to be a landing now.

This room was rather smaller in 1857.

Right.

So would it have been another bedroom, I guess?

CHRIS: It was, yes.

It would have been quite crowded in here, there were five of them in the family, five children, so it would have been nice and cozy.

MARK: And how long did Elgar actually spend here?

Only a very short time, he was born here, but the family left when he was about two and a half years old.

MARK: So he wasn't here for long?

He wasn't here for long at all, but the place came to mean a great deal to him and he used to revisit throughout his life actually.

VO: The museum has one of Elgar's prized possessions.

CHRIS: Of course as a young man, Elgar was just a local musician, he was a teacher and a violinist, and we do have one of his early violins here.

MARK: Really?

CHRIS: Yeah, here it is.

It's nothing particularly special about the instrument, it's not a valuable instrument as such, it's just that it was Elgar's violin and he played it around Worcester and Malvern in the 1870s and 1880s.

VO: We associate Edward Elgar with such masterpieces as Pomp and Circumstance and the Enigma Variations.

But there is one particular Elgar creation with real romantic sentiment behind its composition.

When Elgar was a young man, he was just a local teacher, he gave violin and piano lessons, and that in fact is how he met his wife - she came for piano lessons, and she was rather taken with her new piano teacher, not only that, she was a bit of a poet and she wrote a little poem about that experience.

MARK: Oh wow.

To him?

Dedicated to him?

CHRIS: To him, yes, that's correct, we have it here, it's called "Love's Grace".

MARK: Oh, wonderful.

And this is all in her handwriting?

CHRIS: That is Alice's handwriting, yes.

And what did he do to respond to this?

CHRIS: He responded with a piece of music called "Love's Greeting", which is translated to Salut D'Amour.

MARK: (SOFTLY) Oh wow.

CHRIS: Most beautiful piece.

MARK: So romantic, isn't it?

CHRIS: It is, yeah, it's lovely.

MARK: So what happened to this piece of music?

CHRIS: It became very successful, earned a fortune for the publisher, if not for Elgar, because he sold the copyright for a few guineas.

MARK: Oh no!

But he did eventually earn money from it when he recorded it.

MUSIC: "Salut D'Amour" by Edward Elgar Oh, it's lovely, isn't it?

CHRIS: It's beautiful, isn't it?

It's so evocative of the time.

MARK: It's so sentimental.

Yeah.

I prefer to use the word "romantic" rather than sentimental.

MARK: Romantic, yes, no, it is, it's very romantic.

So this was Elgar's engagement present to Alice.

MARK: What a lovely gift.

And it goes on today.

CHRIS: Yeah.

VO: While Mark has been enjoying the great masterpieces of Elgar, Paul is still shopping in Evesham.

Judy is holding the fort for the owner today.

Hello there.

How are you doing?

Fine thank you, and you?

Very well thanks, yeah.

I see here what appears to be a 19th-century lady's fan in painted silk, problem is it's priced up, so far as I can see, at £85.

VO: The origins of the decorative fan vary - the most interesting being inspired by a bat's wing spread across a lantern from 7th-century Japan.

Uh, that... is rather splendid.

No breaks to the sticks.

Structurally good.

I don't think there's much to worry about there.

Is the owner about?

VO: Judith makes a quick call to the owner to get the very best price.

JUDY: Right, Mrs Laporta has agreed £30 is the bottom price.

£30, I'll take a punt at that.

Excellent, thanks very much.

Thank you.

I'll give you some money.

VO: I think he's back on a roll, that makes a nice four lots for Paul's bag of antiques goodies.

VO: And with Paul still in shopping mode, he's traveling 12 miles away to Dodwell, in Stratford-Upon-Avon.

Glorious afternoon.

VO: Certainly is.

Stratford Antiques and Interiors have been established for over 12 years.

Can Paul find his fifth lot in here?

And very quickly, he bumps into David, one of the owners.

He has a fancy little art deco number that might just tempt him.

PAUL: Thank you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well there's more going on than I suspected at first.

These are rather nice.

Almost butterfly-like, but they're just... Got to be French, hasn't it?

I think so.

Gallia metal, and the cockerel.

DAVID: Yeah.

PAUL: All the clues, all the indicators are there.

Sweet.

Um... My problem is redundancy in so far as it's purely a decorative object, but it shouldn't be.

It should be something that you could at least envisage using on occasion.

DAVID: Yes.

PAUL: How ambitious are you on price though?

I mean is this an expensive object?

Well, it has 175 on there.

PAUL: Ooh!

But we can negotiate.

PAUL: There's negotiating, and then there's you slinging me out in the car park saying "and don't come back!"

Can we come to an arrangement..?

DAVID: Yeah.

Give me an option on that at 50 quid on the way out the door.

DAVID: OK, OK. Good man, thank you very much.

VO: Oh, I suppose that means you've bought it, then?

Well done, Paul!

But now, it's that time we've all been waiting for - the boys get to check out one another's treasures.

I think you ought to close your eyes, Paul.

Er... That's a rare form of capsule chair, never seen one!

Flower head?

I love it.

I love capsule chairs, absolute classic.

MARK: I just thought it was so sweet, it made me smile.

But I must show you these, Paul.

PAUL: Yes.

MARK: Because I just fell in love with them.

Bars of soap with Mabel Lucie Attwell prints on them.

PAUL: Yeah.

I would have passed that by, and that would be folly.

MARK: Five quid.

PAUL: Good one, like it.

What the..?!

What have you done... Now, don't get excited.

But I just thought it was a good-looking piece.

It's alright, what did you pay for that?

40 quid.

That could do 80 quid.

MARK: And of course my star buy is the reconstituted... Marmaduke rabbit.

Marmaduke rabbit.

Not SylvaC this time.

But very much like a SylvaC.

I paid a fiver for it.

You're not going to lose on it.

MARK: I think it's 20 or 30 quid Paul.

As a humorous bit of nonsense.

PAUL: I'm with you on that.

MARK: As a humorous bit of nonsense.

MARK: Good.

PAUL: It's cool.

MARK: Right, on to yours.

PAUL: (LAUGHS) Oh, I think a lot of it's me.

So it's Italian, is it?

PAUL: Er, it's Fre...

The cockerel.

Oh, the cockerel.

PAUL: Yeah.

I adore the subtle quality of that.

I think it's really nice, art nouveau's iffy.

But that's really nice quality, actually.

I tell you what I do love is the plate.

I thought that was you!

I absolutely adore it.

Isn't it insane?

Have you seen the legend?

MARK: "A Merry Christmas".

I adore it.

And it was cheap?

PAUL: Tenner.

MARK: No, Paul.

Who cares?

I love it.

I am liking my big lion.

MARK: It's made of plaster, isn't it?

PAUL: It is yeah, yeah.

But it's a big beast.

You know, there's nothing wrong with that.

I mean, again, what did you pay for it?

I know, I've stumped up for that.

90 squids.

Its size is on its side.

She is plaster of course.

She is, but again French, art terracotta.

Period.

Freakishly long legs.

Freakishly long.

Actually she does look in agony.

Well, we've got an interesting selection, Paul.

PAUL: Haven't we just?

Done it again!

We've done it again.

There's chalk and cheese here, and I think it's going to be a hoot again at the auction.

It's always a hoot, man.

Always, listen... Good-o.

Shall we skedaddle?

PAUL: Swim?

MARK: Yeah, off you go.

PAUL: Do a 'Reggie Perrin'?

MARK: After you.

PAUL: If we did..!

BOTH: (LAUGH) VO: But what do they really think?

I'm totally at ease with this, I mean he's going to win, well done.

The concrete rabbit, I'm sorry, what?

The Antiques Road Trip.

This isn't the "I Was Drunk And I Stole a Piece of Somebody's Garden For a Laugh Trip"!

What?

VO: It's been an ambitious fourth leg, with the boys battling it out from Leominster via Highley, Lower Broadheath, Evesham, Dodwell, and finally full steam ahead to the spa town of Cheltenham.

VO: Cheltenham is the birthplace of former Olympic ski-jumper Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards.

And as our experts arrive in town, it's time to find out who will be crowned champion of today's auction.

The Cotswold Auction Company dates back to the late 1800s.

Auctioneer Lindsey Braune kindly lends her thoughts on the chaps' offerings.

The blue and white capsule chair, we love the shape, it's a flower head, really striking.

The Victorian plaque, not really my taste, but it's a novelty piece and they have a way of taking off.

VO: Mark Stacey started today with £335.06 and spent £100 on five auction lots.

Paul Laidlaw began with £619.60 and spent £200 on five lots.

Settle down everyone!

The auction is about to begin.

The internet's watching us, remember.

This is always a good thing.

There's always somebody watching us, Paul.

VO: Right, it's Mark's art deco plaque to start us off.

It'll take divine intervention, Mark.

£20 to start.

£10 then... MARK: Come on.

LINDSEY: £10?

MARK: Maybe you're right.

LINDSEY: £10 bid online.

MARK: Oh, 10 online.

PAUL: (GASPS) LINDSEY: At 10, it's going on.

At £10 only, maiden bid online, 12, going up online.

At 12, 15.

At 15 now, bid's online at 15.

At 15, 18 anywhere?

At £15, be quick.

At £15, and I'm selling, bid's online... (GAVEL) Well, that's £5 profit, Paul.

£10 more than I thought!

Well, there we are, you see.

I've warned you about thinking.

It's not good for you!

VO: It's not really the big money profit he was looking for.

Next it's Paul's turn with the roaring lioness.

Start me at £50 for this one?

£50.

30 then?

Start me off, someone.

Help me here!

LINDSEY: Very dramatic.

30 bid, thank you, at 30. Who's going on?

At £30.

Five.

40.

At 40.

Five?

50.

At 50.

At 50, in the deep at 50.

At 50, against you online.

In the room at 50, are we all done?

At 50 and selling... (GAVEL) Well, well, well, Paul.

Can I just say one thing to you?

Welcome to my world.

PAUL: (SNORTS) VO: Oh dear, what an unfortunate noise.

You don't need to be so nervous Paul - or nasal - it was only the first lot!

I'm really gutted and upset for you, Paul!

VO: You're so sincere Mark, right - it's your capsule chair next.

Start me off at 20, 20, who's going on?

At 20 bid.

At 20.

At 22.

22, 25.

At 25.

At 25, are we all done at 25 then?

(GAVEL) VO: Oh dear - not so high and mighty now, Mark, eh?

I think somebody had a good buy, and sometimes you need that at an auction, hm?

That's why we come!

MARK: They'll come back again.

VO: Huh.

Next, it's Paul's wacky donkey platter.

£20, start me off someone... MARK: I really think, I, I...

I think to be honest, I wish I'd seen it, Paul.

...very unusual plate, £10.

Start me off, it must be worth that.

PAUL: It's crashing and burning!

It's in free fall!

No, it's not, it must make a lot more than that.

LINDSEY: Where's the 12?

At £10, this isn't much, at £10.

12 here.

At 12.

15 is it?

At £12.

PAUL: Ah!

LINDSEY: At £12.

LINDSEY: Are we all sure, at £12?

MARK: I can't believe it Paul.

PAUL: (SIGHS) (GAVEL) VO: Oh dear, Paul.

The bidders weren't impressed by little donkey.

I'll miss that.

I would have taken it home myself.

I think...

I thought that was lovely.

VO: It's Paul again.

Perhaps the delicious art deco dancer will perk up the profits.

Start me at £30.

£30 bid, thank you.

Five here.

MARK: Well there we are, as you see, it's starting well, Paul.

LINDSEY: 60.

At 60, bid's in the room at 60.

At 65.

70.

Five.

80.

Five.

90.

Five.

100.

110.

At 110, lady's bid seated at 110, against you all now online at 120.

130.

At 130 in the room.

Bid's in the room at 130, 140.

150.

160 online.

170.

Lady's bid seated at 170.

I'm selling then against you all online, in the room at 170.

Oh, 180.

Just in time, sorry about this.

One more, 190 for you in the room.

At 190 in the room, and selling... (GAVEL) VO: Wow!

She really has raised Paul's profit margin.

(LAUGHS) Mark!

What?

I'm not upset, Paul.

I'm nowhere near upset.

VO: Oh dear.

I think someone is upset.

While Mark stews - I mean, patiently waits his turn - it's Paul's beautiful silk fan next.

30 for this one.

Painted silk, £30.

£20 then?

Start me off someone.

£20 bid thank you, at 20.

At 20, who's going on?

At £20.

At 22.

25.

28.

30.

At 30, lady's bid seated at 30.

At £30, anyone in online?

At £30 then, all done... (GAVEL) MARK: £30, Paul.

PAUL: I'll take that, take that.

VO: Not as exciting as your last lot, but be thankful it wasn't a gasping loss, Paul.

It's Paul, yet again with the art deco liqueur set.

Lots of bids in the book, I must start at... 75, 80... Oh, Paul.

LINDSEY: 85.

At 85.

Well, you're well into profit.

LINDSEY: Who's going on?

PAUL: Come on.

Get somebody in the room.

LINDSEY: 85.

90.

95.

MARK: It's online, Paul.

LINDSEY: At 95, 100.

Bid's online at 100 now.

At 100.

At 100, 110, still going up online.

MARK: Online.

120, 130, 140.

At 140.

At 150.

At 160.

At 160, anyone joining in in the room?

At 160, bid's online at 160, are you all sure?

Be quick if you're still in, otherwise I'm selling at 160 online... (GAVEL) Well, Paul, they had another huge profit for you.

VO: Once more - with feeling, Mark.

Well done, Paul!

Finally it's Mark's turn with the bronze sundial.

Go on sunshine, show 'em what you're made of!

35 here, at 35.

Commission bid with me at 35.

At 35, who's going on at 35?

40.

Five.

50.

Five.

At 55, still with me at 55.

60 anywhere?

At 55, 60 online now.

It's surely gonna come again, yeah.

At 65, then, and selling... (GAVEL) That's alright.

PAUL: Profit.

MARK: £25.

PAUL: Good buy.

VO: There you go, Mark - hopefully that will cheer you up.

Aw, it's Mark's little bunny next.

Will she hop away with some juicy profit?

Start me off, £20, very handsome.

10 bid here, at 10, who's going on?

At 10.

12.

15.

18.

It's flying, it's a flying bunny!

Two.

25.

28.

30.

Five.

At 35, right in the deep now at 35.

At 35. Who's going on, at 35, 40 anywhere?

At 35, Jenny's bid right at the back then at 35, 40 anywhere..?

MARK: Oh, there we are.

(GAVEL) I'm pleased with that.

Bless Jenny, what a result!

MARK: God bless Jenny.

PAUL: (LAUGHS) There's a kiss coming Jenny's way, I can tell you!

That's a £30 profit, I only paid five for it.

VO: Quick Jenny, run while you can!

Nice little profit though, Mark.

Finally, it's our last lot of the day, with Mark's Mabel Lucie Attwell soaps.

Here it is, Paul.

The last lot.

Very unusual, can't be many of these left.

All got used, probably.

£20, start me.

£20.

Well no internet, so... PAUL: It could come in at any time.

There it is.

20 online.

At 20, who's going on at £20?

At £20, bid's online.

Two is it?

At £20.

It's all going my way.

All done then, online bid... MARK: I can't believe it!

And selling... (GAVEL) I'll have to be grateful with a £15 profit, but I must admit I thought there'd be a bit more interest on that.

Yeah, I thought the in...

I thought it'd be all internet.

VO: Look on the bright side Mark - it wasn't a thumping loss!

Come on, well done to you.

Cheers, buddy.

Let's get out of here.

Let's do it.

VO: Mark started today's show with £335.06, and, after paying auction costs made a teeny-weeny profit of £31.20.

Mark has just £366.26 to carry forward.

It'll get better.

VO: Paul, meanwhile, started with £619.60 and made a respectable profit of £162.44.

Paul has a mighty £782.04 to take forward.

Enough to make you smile.

MARK: Well, congratulations, another victory, Paul, well done.

Profits across the board... MARK: Well, yes, ups and downs.

And it's dry.

Do you want to drive?

Oh, that's the main thing.

Oh yeah, go on, why not?

VO: Next time on the Antiques Road Trip, Mark and Paul head for the former sea-faring city of Bristol.

Mark nearly gets trapped.

DEALER: Keep the door locked, Mo, keep the door locked!

VO: And Paul has a very delicate approach when naming his price.

PAUL: I'm trying to get that slaughtered.

I want that for 10 or 20 quid.

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