VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts, with £200 each, a classic car, and a goal: to scour Britain for antiques.

Going, going, gone.

Yes!

WILL: How do I look?

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

Yes!

VO: There'll be worthy winners and valiant losers.

I'm going to become a binman.

VO: So, will it be the high road to glory, or the slow road to disaster?

I like it when you're chasing me!

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

VO: It's the beginning of a fresh and fun packed week on Road Trip with another pair of antiquarian wheeler dealers - Mark Stacey and Will Axon.

MARK: Just keep buying the wrong things, making less money than me, and we'll have a lovely week.

WILL: Listen Mark, I don't mind being your stooge, because I'm quite happy.

VO: New kid on the block Will Axon is an experienced valuer and "master of the gavel".

You may remember him from last series.

..five, who else is in?

28, right, elsewhere at 28.

Shake it the other way madam, surely you can't value them for £2.

28 in the corner... VO: Now he's switched to join our happy gang.

It all seems a lot easier when you're watching it on the telly.

VO: He's won't get an easy ride against Mark Stacey, oh no, one of the antique trade's big hitters.

A bit clumsy.

But he knows exactly who to speak to to get the best deal.

MARK: Are you going to show me where the bargains are, Chase?

Yes.

VO: Mark and Will are sashaying around the country in this little British beauty - a 1963 Triumph TR4, and Will's first in the hot seat.

As long as I can reach the pedals.

MARK: We'll get you a cushion!

We'll get a cushion.

VO: Is he old enough to drive?

VO: Our dueling duo's trip takes them through five counties no less, starting this week in East Sussex travelling through Kent, Essex, Suffolk and Hertfordshire and ending up at an auction in the London suburb of Ruislip.

This leg stays firmly in East Sussex, travelling along the southeast coast of England.

They're starting in Hastings, finishing at an auction in Lewes, but the first shopping stop is Bexhill.

VO: So, what's the strategy, then?

WILL: What I don't want to do is, you know, faff around.

I want to go for it.

Absolutely.

VO: As it's the start of the week, they both begin with a bountiful £200.

But things aren't going quite to plan.

MARK: Oh, what have you done to the car and the weather, Will?

WILL: Both, I've broken both of them.

MARK: You've broken them!

MARK: It's not going to be like this all week, I hope.

WILL: As long as it's downhill, we're alright.

MARK: Well certainly it's going downhill at the moment, Will.

MARK: As far as I'm concerned!

My God.

VO: It could be the weather, could be human error.

I couldn't possibly comment.

MARK: I feel... Oh no, it's gone.

WILL: Hang on, hang on, WILL: I'm going to try and coast it into this space.

VO: The first and maybe last stop for this pair is the pretty little seaside town of Bexhill, but the chaps have had to ditch the car and take to Shanks's pony.

WILL: This looks alright.

VO: It's time for the spending spectacular to commence.

And they're off!

VO: No pushing, chaps.

Keep it clean.

MARK: Wow.

Will, look at this.

Hello, I'm Mark.

Hello Mark, pleased to meet you.

Nice to meet you, who are you?

Hi, Will.

Hello, Will.

Andy.

MARK: Andy, nice to meet you, Andy.

MARK: Lots and lots of stuff and not the right budget?

An eclectic mix, though.

Oh, I know you are Will, but what about the stock?

Haha!

VO: Joking over men, time to split up and get down to the business of buying.

VO: Lickety split, Will's spotted something.

He's reaching for the bottle already.

A vintage Scotch whisky display bottle with a price tag of £65.

This is quite fun, isn't it?

I suppose, yeah, shop display.

Scotch whisky.

What I like about it is the way the glass has been colored, just to give it the impression of being full.

VO: If only!

WILL: Bit of damage to the label, that's a shame.

VO: Where's Mark lurking?

MARK: It looks like Will.

VO: Who does that make you then?

Big Ears?

WILL: Where's Mark disappeared to?

Mark's in the back room going through a box of smalls.

ANDY: He's locked the door on himself.

WILL: Has he?

ANDY: He has, yeah.

WILL: You know what?

I was hoping he would take pity on me being the new boy, and maybe give me a few tips.

I think he's doing the opposite, Will.

He is, isn't he?

Hm.

VO: You'll get no quarter from that old pro, he's ruthless!

There could be something hidden in the bottom of this box that's going to wipe the smile off that little Will Axon's face.

Oh no, I don't mean that, he's rather sweet, isn't he?

VO: I told you so, Will.

You'll need to watch him!

Shall we see if it works?

No.

I've broken that as well.

VO: The car first, and now this - it's not your day!

WILL: Now, I did spot this... when we first came in the door.

VO: He's gone booze daft.

It's a 19th century etched glass spirit barrel with a brass tap, and it's not cheap.

It has a whopping ticket price of £120.

WILL: If you look at the tap, or spigot I think they're sometimes called, you've got a nice stamp here, London.

Just a sign of quality, you know.

And then on the other side, either the maker or the retailer, perhaps - Loftus.

WILL: Look, I'm thinking that it would go rather nicely with my alcohol theme.

You've got the whisky bottle, the advertising whisky bottle, and this, which I think would be catalogued as perhaps a Scotch dispenser, Scotch barrel.

VO: The total ticket price of the whisky bottle and the spirit barrel is £185.

Will's offered £120 for the two - that's more than half his budget.

ANDY: Go on then, Will, as we're your first call on your first show.

So would we do 120 for the two?

VO: Oh Lordy.

120 for the two, I'll do 120 for the two.

Yeah.

Yeah?

Nice one, Andy.

Cheers.

I hope I've done the right thing.

I'm sure you have.

May your luck be with me!

VO: You might need a bit of luck, alright.

He's taken a big gamble on those items.

Mark's still empty handed.

MARK: You're looking rather smug.

Well, I must admit...

Yes?

I have parted with cash.

No!

A lot of cash?

Actually, a fair amount, actually.

Really?

I'm quite pleased with myself.

Are you going for it?

Yeah, well, I thought I'm gonna get that first buy out of the way.

Are you going to tell me what you've bought?

WILL: No of course not!

MARK: Why not?

I'm not supposed to tell you, you're just trying to get me into trouble as the new boy, and you're just jealous cuz I've popped my Road Trip cherry.

I'm not going to think about that for too long.

VO: Time for one last look, and it seems great minds think alike!

Sorry Mark, but the new boy's beaten you to that.

I saw that when I first came in, I forgot about it, and now he's whipped it!

Oh, this is the game he's going to play, is it?

MARK: Thanks very much, Andy!

Thank you very much!

VO: First shop in, and Will's splurged £120 on two boozy lots, leaving him only £80 to spend on this leg.

It could be a risky tactic.

VO: Meanwhile, Mark is heading 12 miles west to Eastbourne, and the Triumph seems to be behaving itself this time too.

MARK: Well, I simply fail to understand the problem this morning.

I mean, she's perfectly fine.

Look at her.

Running like a dream.

I can only assume that it must be Will's short legs.

Driver error on his part, because she seems to be responding to my gentle touch.

VO: Ouch.

You can see why Eastbourne has the title of sunniest town in Britain.

The maritime climate has people flocking here to the beautiful pebbly beaches and a stroll down the famous pier for a bit of kiss me quick.

VO: Mark's off to a rather special shop, but his sterling won't buy diddly squat here.

He's visiting a wonderfully eccentric couple - Graham and Jan Upton, who've brought over 100,000 items of vintage packaging, products, signage, clothes and ephemera collected together over 50 years into one multi-story jam packed shop - The Museum of Shops.

MARK: This must be one of the more sort of...uniquely bizarre places I've ever visited, in a very positive way.

GRAHAM: Well, people used to visit our house and apart from the fact they thought we were bonkers, they used to say to us, "your house is more like a museum", and it gave us the idea to do it, really.

VO: Their lifelong passion for collecting can be seen crammed into four floors of themed shop displays and domestic room settings.

MARK: This is fascinating, it's like walking into an old Victorian arcade, isn't it?

VO: Among the displays is Mr Barton's grocer's shop.

The shelves are packed with nostalgic items such as Oxo, Rinso, Smith's Crisps and many more.

Anyone remember the Bisto kids?

VO: Upstairs there's more densely packed shops, with painstaking attention to detail, right down to the very last and most intimate of items.

Would you like me to show you...my pre-war condoms, Mark?

VO: I beg your pardon!

Looking a bit... Oh, good Lord.

Looking a bit worse for the wear now, but in a little box that was supposed to look like a chocolate box, complete with the doilies.

MARK: I love this.

"The only really hygienic preventative - hygiene should be first and foremost"!

MARK: But you're right, they do look like a rather a sort of luxury box of chocolates, don't they?

GRAHAM: Well, they certainly weren't something that was on show in the chemist's shop, but they would have been hidden under the counter.

MARK: Good Lord.

VO: Little something for the weekend, sir?

I wasn't expecting to be talking about these today.

VO: Good Lord.

Me neither.

In the basement are the domestic rooms, and there's a wonderful World War II kitchen that Jan and Graham have authentically recreated in minute detail.

MARK: Look at this!

MARK: Do you know, that's so much like my grandmother's house.

MARK: It is a bit like you've stepped back in time.

GRAHAM: Yeah, I hope so, I hope that's how it feels.

MARK: To be honest, I thought the Blitz, as soon as you see the costumes.

MARK: You know, I mean this is so 1940s, isn't it?

GRAHAM: If you look through the kitchen window, you can see the bombed street beyond.

Yes.

(AIR RAID SIREN AND BOMBS) MARK: And the other striking thing, of course, is that you've got it down to the fact that probably everybody smoked.

VO: Smoking in the UK increased during both world wars, but it wasn't until the Second World War that it became really popular with the ladies.

I think you're quite mad, you know, Graham.

GRAHAM: Do you?

MARK: I do.

I do.

I mean, in a very nice way.

Well, that's fine then.

A nice madness, you know.

GRAHAM: That's good, I'm pleased to hear that.

VO: Of course no street would be complete without a local pub, and Jan and Graham have recreated one of those too, called the Admiral Lord Nelson Inn, no less.

MARK: Graham, do you not think you're creating your own little world here?

GRAHAM: I suppose so.

Do you think so, as an escape from realism?

I don't know, well, is it an escape?

You tell me.

Erm, I think so, really, yes.

We enjoy it.

MARK: Do you?

MARK: Graham, I've found this really fascinating, you're an absolute joy to talk to.

If I could fill the glass, I'd happily toast a long, successful opening of your museum.

Well, that's very kind of you Mark, and we're pleased to meet you after all these years.

VO: And with that heady hit of nostalgia over, Mark's voyage of discovery is finished for the day.

VO: Meanwhile, Will's made his own way 17 miles inland to the quaint little hamlet of Golden Cross.

VO: The population here is under 1,000 but it does have a lovely little antiques place and shopkeeper Rhoda is open for business.

Buying head on, buying head on.

Maybe smalls.

WILL: Yeah.

A cigar cutter.

Cigar cutter, I'm thinking down the drinking and smoking route, what a terrible role model I am.

VO: First booze, now fags!

And it's only day one of the trip.

He's got his beady eye on a 20th century silver plated cigar cutter.

VO: Items like these can be very collectable to the right buyer.

It has a ticket price of £35.

WILL: A cigar cutter's a sort of good, clean example.

Shame that's not solid silver.

I know, I know.

I'm thinking I might be able to work with this somehow, if perhaps I could find...something else to go with it.

Erm... Oh I say...

Hang on a minute, what's this poking out from over here?

Now, this is...

This is following on from my theme a bit, isn't it?

An old oak sort of smoker's box.

A bit of... A little bit of damage there, but this is nice, look, little strikers here for your vestas.

VO: This late 19th century oak smoker's box would have been all the rage back when smoking was fashionable and everyone was lighting up - but what price is Rhoda looking for?

RHODA: We have got, we've got 85, I could probably do you...about 60?

WILL: What do we do with the little cigar cutter?

RHODA: Mm hm.

80 for the two.

Could we say...65?

No.

I can go down to 75.

Could we do 70 on the two?

WILL: And that...

I'm being honest with you, that leaves me with £10 for tomorrow.

Mm.

As it's your first day, yes.

WILL: Aw, you're very kind.

Rhoda, I appreciate your help.

That's alright.

I think I'm gonna need it, cuz you know what Mark's like.

He's an old hand at this.

VO: Will's almost spent out, with only £10 left at the end of day one.

He's sticking to a theme, but these are all separate lots so it's a bit of a risk.

We shall see.

One day down, one to go on the first leg of the Road Trip.

Time for a well earned rest all round, I'd say.

Night night, chaps.

VO: It's a bold new day for our intrepid pair.

Will's taken steps to increase his "in car reach", shall we say.

Between you and me, you know I killed the car yesterday.

Er, I did notice, yes.

Apparently it was a bit of driver error.

Was it your little tootsies?

I think so, I've got my cushion, so now I'm going to reach the pedals, and we're away.

But what's that under your arm?

Well, I'm not going to be upstaged by you and a cheap cushion, I'm rather cold in this, so I've got a car rug to keep my tootsies warm, as I can reach the pedals, at least.

Pop in.

We're a right couple of Dorises, aren't we?

Well I put a flask in the bag.

Well done, Will.

Woo!

VO: Big spender Will poured £190 of his £200 budget into four booze and fag themed items including a display whisky bottle, a glass spirit barrel, an oak smoker's box and a cigar cutter, so he only has £10 to spend today.

On the other hand, Mark's lagging dangerously behind.

He has nothing in his goodie bag, so it's time he pulled his finger out.

WILL: Well, I think I'm still a little bit green, WILL: I'm perhaps being a little bit too nice and kind, cuz I feel like I've got to buy something from every shop.

MARK: Oh, really?

MARK: Mind you, I'm feeling a little green this morning, I think it's your driving.

WILL: Listen, after yesterday, it can only go one way, and that's... MARK: Down?

WILL: Up.

MARK: Oh up!

OK. VO: The chaps, having stayed just outside Eastbourne, are heading back to the sunny seaside town for a spot more shopping.

Mark's buying hasn't even begun so the pressure is on for him to get in the game.

His first stop today is Jasper Wood.

MARK: Lots of curious pieces here, but only that's... Now, this is something that Will would be jealous about.

Is it a big hammer, or a gavel?

VO: It is indeed a gavel.

It's an early 20th century large fruitwood gavel, and it's not as expensive as you'd think, Mark.

The ticket price is £25.

It's got a bit of age to it, cuz it's walloped a few things in its time.

It's probably sold a Picasso or two now and again - you never know, do you?

MARK: That's a definite possibility, actually.

VO: Will may well be jealous.

Auctioneers love collecting gavels.

Talk about taking your work home with you.

VO: Even though Mark's behind in the buying, he still finds time for his fan club.

Have you bought anything yet?

What have you found?

Shall I tell you?

I'm having such a struggle.

I had one shop yesterday, I couldn't find a thing.

And this is my first shop today, and I think I've found something.

MARK: You know what it all depends on.

Yes.

The price.

Yes.

Of course it does, yes.

Really?

I watch you negotiating, I think you're cheeky!

You must be mixing me up someone else, madam!

Me, cheeky?

It's unheard of!

VO: Ha ha!

And on that note it's time to see just how cheeky he can be.

The gavel had a ticket price of £25, but how low can he go?

Well... Are you sitting down?

Well, I'm going to start off very low, cuz I know you'll hammer me up... Hammer!

Hammer.

Haha!

Every one a winner.

VO: Oi!

I do the jokes round here.

I'm going to start with an offer of £10.

MARK: I did say starting, you see.

I'm starting low, but it's not where you start, it's where you finish.

Well, that's a good start, but nowhere near.

VO: Oh, he's cheeky alright.

MARK: What are you going to sell it to me for?

15 15, gosh.

I wasn't expecting you to say that.

I was expecting you to say something else.

MARK: Erm... Do you know, I can't argue with that, really.

£15, it is a very good price, thank you.

VO: What a bumper deal, eh?

It all seemed a little too easy.

MARK: Thank you very much, and I suppose I should say going, going, gone.

VO: It's time you were gone too, before he changes his mind.

So with that cheeky first purchase, Mark has finally bagged a lot for £15 of his £200 budget, but he needs to get cracking and score some more.

VO: It's Will's turn now to shop till he drops.

He's popped into Old Bank Antiques where he's hoping to make a withdrawal.

WILL: Oh wow, look at this.

This must be the old...the old bank vault, look.

Ooh!

Let's have a look in here, this might be where he keeps the treasure.

VO: And what kind of treasure do you seek today?

(IN A PIRATE VOICE) Aarrgh!

I'm thinking about my theme of course, do I continue it today?

I think I have to really, don't I?

VO: More booze and fags then!

He's roped in shopkeeper Ray to give him some help, and he's confessed that he has only a tenner to spend.

WILL: Look, this is the sort of thing, you see.

WILL: A little snuff box.

WILL: Again, look, remnants of the old snuff.

28.

I expect we can do something with that.

Do you reckon that might be doable?

VO: Well that sounds promising, so Ray's off to phone the dealer.

This papier mache pewter inlaid snuff box is 19th century.

OK, bye bye.

VO: It's the moment of truth.

RAY: Right, Will, well I've made the call.

Oh, tell me it's good news.

And it is good news.

Really?

You're a lucky man.

Because it's you... WILL: Yeah?

RAY: ..£10.

Oh, that's a result, isn't it?

Absolutely.

I think it is.

Ah, well done.

Well I can't lose much on that, can I?

I don't think so.

Surely not.

VO: Well, that's a deal not to be sniffed at.

Will's winning plenty of favor from the dealers for being the new boy.

And with that, he's spent his entire budget.

VO: Meanwhile, Mark's popped into the local antiques center, but it's time he got a move on.

MARK: Hello.

PAUL: Hello.

How are you?

I'm good, yourself?

Who's this chappie?

PAUL: That's Chase.

MARK: Chase.

Hello, Chase.

The cleverest dealer in here.

VO: Oh get on with it, boy.

Rope in the help of Paul the antique center owner, get him to show you some goodies.

That's quite crudely made, the lock there, but it is quite nicely... PAUL: Reasonably nicely carved.

MARK: Reasonably nicely carved.

VO: This 19th century Anglo Indian box and key have a ticket price of £40, so it's not too pricey.

MARK: This is carved hardwood.

But auctions are terribly realistic for these sort of things.

I mean, if they're really good quality, as you know, they fly through the roof, you can't touch them.

Any other goodies?

You didn't actually look at that one.

PAUL: That's got quite nice inscriptions on the back.

VO: The painting is 19th century oil on board, possibly portraying Mont Blanc, with an inscription on the back.

Oh, I like the colors, actually.

MARK: A bit of a dull scene, actually, isn't it?

MARK: But I do love the colors, MARK: I mean I love the thickness of the... MARK: It's the sort of pictures I like.

MARK: Oh, I like that on the back.

It's dated here, somewhere.

MARK: Yeah, 1865, gosh.

PAUL: And it's to whoever it is, from where she painted, I can't quite make out where it is.

Yeah, so she's obviously sort of painted... Maybe she was at a hotel here or something and she's painting the vista that she's got.

Absolutely, yeah.

MARK: I mean, it's very decorative.

Is it very cheap?

60 quid.

It's an antique.

I know.

If I'm here much longer, I'll be an antique.

VO: Too late!

How close to 40 can we go?

I can't, cuz I gave 50 for it!

MARK: Oh.

VO: Uh huh.

So 60 is your best?

55.

I'll take a £5.

MARK: I'll take it.

PAUL: Go on.

I'll throw the box in for 25 quid.

MARK: Oh my God.

PAUL: There you go.

Won't go any lower than that.

No, no, I understand, no I understand.

So that would be 55, 60, 70.

No, 80.

Oh, is it?

55 and 25 is still 80!

Oh, sorry.

I've never been good at maths.

VO: Not that old chestnut.

Of course you could have said 90 as well, couldn't you?

Yeah, I don't think I'm that bad at maths!

Exactly.

So that's 80, then.

Go on, let's do that.

Let's do that.

VO: Another humdinger of a deal done, and Mark's finally filling up his goodie bag, but still has £105 to spend.

Onwards and upwards!

VO: While Mark's been haggling, Will's taken the Triumph 17 miles west to Newhaven harbor.

VO: The port was of particular importance during both World War I and World War II as Allied troops set sail from here for France.

VO: Will's visiting Newhaven fort, where he's meeting up with Ed for the guided tour.

WILL: I'm not great with heights, Ed, I might tell you that now.

Whoa!

VO: The strategically positioned fort, built out of the threat of invasion, sits high above the harbor at Newhaven, looking out across the English Channel.

Newhaven offers the shortest overland route to London from the southeast coast, so it's no wonder it has a defensive history that reaches back over 400 years.

VO: After the French raided nearby Seaford in 1548, Newhaven received its first gun.

As the threat of invasion increased so did the military technology.

ED: The first gun battery was built in 1760, and that was armed with five guns, and only a few months after the guns had been installed, they saw their first action.

Against?

A privateer, or pirates.

Really?

A smuggling ship was sighted sailing from the west to the east, towards Seaford, making its way probably past Seaford Head.

WILL: Yes.

ED: And the master gunner of that battery ordered these men into action.

Three shots were fired... (GUNFIRE) ED: ..all of which missed.

Mm, lucky pirates!

Yeah, not an auspicious start for our defense, but they were there and they were in action pretty quickly.

VO: The current fort was built in 1860 by 22 year old John Charles Ardagh, who used a very novel approach, blending his design with the nooks and crannies of the land.

WILL: So we're climbing up higher and higher, Ed.

Higher and higher.

This is where one of the big guns was positioned?

Well, yep, you're standing right in front of it.

This is one of the fort's big hitters from the turn of the century.

Six inch naval gun, with a range of seven miles.

WILL: Yeah.

And I can't help noticing that we're surrounded, ironically, by French school children.

WILL: What do you think they feel about seeing all these guns pointed towards the homeland?

ED: Of course, if you visit Cherbourg, there are forts of similar shapes and sizes that were built to defend the French from us, so even though there's centuries of antagonism, I think we're all alright now.

It's all water under the bridge, isn't it?

Water under... Water in the Channel.

WILL: Oh, right.

VO: With the new guns came new range finding technology, and Ed's got an example of a range finder, but it's proving a little tricky to open.

Now of course, old technology.

Get it open, it will.

Go on, Ed, give it some.

Let me give you a hand.

Ooh.

There you go.

Just needed a gentle touch.

VO: He must have loosened it.

ED: As you look through the eyepiece, one eyepiece gives you the vision that you're looking at, like through a pair of binoculars, and a line of horizon, and the other side is giving you the range in yards.

ED: If you'd like to have a look.

WILL: Oh yes, look.

So I've got the horizon line there.

Yep.

And then that tells me what yardage... And then what would that then tell you, what elevation to set the gun at?

ED: Yes.

VO: Once the range and speed were calculated, the soldier would phone the gunners and order the guns raised to the relevant degrees, and then... Enemy fishing boat... ED: What's the range there, captain?

WILL: Ooh, I reckon about 530 yards, Ed.

WILL: I tell you what, Ed, phone the gunner, let him have it.

(RECORD SCRATCHING) ED: I wouldn't like to, cuz otherwise the chip shop would be out of business.

WILL: Oh yeah, that's true, he's only a poor innocent little fisherman, aren't we?

Sorry about that mate, you carry on with your business.

VO: I think that's a spy ship!

VO: So with the gun show over it's time for Will to get motoring again.

VO: Mark's final shopping stop takes him from Eastbourne around 15 miles west through Newhaven to Peacehaven.

VO: Located above the chalk cliffs and nearby famous Beachy Head, Peacehaven town was formed for retiring World War I veterans to recover from the effects of the war.

VO: Mark's popping into Collector's Haven to meet Steve.

This is the last stop for shopping, so he needs to knuckle down and buy, buy, buy.

MARK: How odd is that?

MARK: A handmade bottle in the form of a pig.

STEVE: It's a perfume bottle.

It's a per... Why on earth would you have a perfume bottle in the form of a pig?

I've got no idea.

MARK: I mean, pigs are not renowned for their sweet smells, are they?

VO: Happy as a pig in... Mark's picked out a pretty cloisonne enamel box - not old, circa 1960, with a ticket price of £100.

MARK: All this blue and the green is little glass, powdered glass, little glass crystals, which they put on and then fire, and as it fires, it melts and forms the pattern here, put in within wires.

MARK: But it's a pretty little thing actually, it's a nice little work of art.

STEVE: It is.

I mean, it's got a nice sort of decorative appeal to it.

MARK: Piggy toby.

Don't you think he's rather fun?

It's a little jug in the form of a pig.

Holding a pint of beer, in his best suit.

VO: He's fixated by pigs today, and this little piggy is a novelty Majolica jug circa 1900.

I love his little trousers.

MARK: I think he's great, I think he's lovely, actually.

Crazy, but lovely.

I'm going to put him... VO: Sound like anyone you know, Mark?

The ticket price on this jolly fellow is £40, but what will Steve be willing to let him go for?

I'd go to 30, but that would be... MARK: That would be it.

And what about the unknown quantity?

65?

I think 60 sounds better.

STEVE: Ah... £60 then.

Let's shake hands then.

MARK: So I've got to give you 90 quid?

Yeah.

MARK: That's perfect.

I'm very happy with that.

VO: Sweet talking devil.

And with that, Mark's maxed out on lots and the spending spectacle is at an end.

It's time for this double act to have a gander at each other's goodies.

This could be revealing.

WILL: Ready?

I hope I don't knock anything over.

MARK: Me too.

Yes.

VO: Here he goes.

Um, well, this is lovely.

MARK: And I was tempted myself with that, but somebody actually went first.

Beat you to it, yeah.

What's this?

Well, can you see the theme that I've gone for here?

Yeah, cheap.

Um...

So this is a bottle, an advertising bottle?

Yeah, yeah, I just thought it was quite... MARK: I think it's great, isn't it?

WILL: I think it's alright, it's just a bit different.

Yeah, a bit different, and a silver plated cigar cutter.

WILL: Cigar cutter.

Just to keep in with my alcohol and smoking and drinking theme.

Vice, really, vice theme.

Yeah, I'm going for women and song next time.

Are you?

WILL: Er, a little snuff box.

MARK: Yes, OK, another vice.

It's nice and clean, no damage.

And a little smoker's cabinet.

MARK: So really... And these are fashionable, do you think?

VO: Don't sit on the fence, Mark!

They are somewhere.

Hm.

So how much have you spent in total?

I'm spent out.

That's 200 quids' worth.

200 quids' worth?

Really?

Yeah.

You're happy about that, aren't you?

And you don't even get the table.

No.

Now, are you ready to see mine?

Yeah, I'm really...

I'm excited to see yours.

Are you?

Yeah.

WILL: I bet it's all small, shiny and valuable.

Look at this.

I like.

I'm immediately of course drawn to the gavel.

MARK: Well, the gav...

I knew you would be actually.

WILL: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

VO: Auctioneers eh, they're so predictable.

Yeah.

Carved Indian box, do you think it's Indian?

MARK: Yeah, well, it's Anglo Indian, I think.

MARK: I mean, it comes with a key as well, I don't... MARK: Look, it's not the greatest thing in the world.

I fell in love with this because it's a really nice, honest, antique painting.

WILL: Is it a sort of Alpine, lake scene?

MARK: Well, it is, I think this is Mont Blanc, isn't it?

MARK: In the background, possibly?

Could be, loosely...?

MARK: That's a mountain in France.

Yes, I know what it is, yeah.

I just thought I'd point it out to you!

WILL: What is that?

This is my favorite bit.

This, I mean look at him, with his monocle.

WILL: With his monocle!

WILL: Are you sure someone hasn't just drawn on him in pen?

I just adore him.

I tell you what, pigs is a good subject, isn't it?

Well, I hope it's not a pig in a poke.

But it was only 30 quid.

Oh, I'm excited now, to see how they do.

MARK: Really?

WILL: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well listen, I think you've done really well, and I'm so looking forward to the auction.

VO: Well they're no shrinking violets, but with their backs turned, have they anything else to add?

I think I might just have the edge, you know.

I mean, I got the gavel that cost very little, the pig.

The enamel box, the painting.

I think he was quite impressed with my items, actually.

The little Anglo Indian box, sweet enough, but of no great quality.

Erm, and the pig, a bit of a punt on that, really.

VO: Will impressed?

Not much!

It's time to trundle off in the Triumph to the auction house.

MARK: Let's hope a lot of good people... MARK: Oh God, it's gone dead on me again.

WILL: Go into second.

There you go.

WILL: Woo!

Are we late?

MARK: Um, I'm just eager to get to the auction room.

VO: On the first leg of their Road Trip these jolly jousters have travelled through East Sussex, 1066 country no less, from Hastings to Lewes.

VO: Lewes is an ancient market town with wonderful architecture left behind by generations.

VO: And this building is of great importance - it's where they make their local brew.

MARK: Well come on Will, let's get it over with, but I think we're going to be alright.

WILL: Yeah, we're gonna be... MARK: We're going to be smiling.

WILL: Whatever, we're a couple of happy chappies.

MARK: We are a couple of happy chappies.

MARK: What can go wrong?

WILL: Let's go.

VO: Boasting almost a century's worth of experience, Gorringes Auction house know what they're about, and today's miscellaneous auction is also online.

VO: With a firm grasp of the gavel is today's auctioneer Philip Taylor.

What does he think of this pair's lots?

One of the better pieces I the really nice piece of cloisonne enamel, that's a little box made by the great Ando family.

PHILIP: I hope it'll certainly make over £50-60, anyway.

PHILIP: Another one of my favorites, I think, possibly is the Edwardian oak cigar and cigarette box.

Lovely quality, that.

But not many people smoke these days, so who knows?

VO: Mark and Will both began this leg with the Road Trip bulging budget of £200.

Will went hell for leather and managed to spend the whole lot on five lots.

VO: Mark also amassed five lots, spending £185.

VO: The knights of antiquity are about to do battle.

This is it.

VO: Lot one - Mark's early 20th century large fruitwood gavel.

Will it hammer home a solid profit?

A bit bigger than mine, this one.

£10 to get us started, any bids at 10?

Now he's just bragging.

Surely £10 for the gavel?

PHILIP: Put me on at £10 somewhere, any bids at 10?

Thank you, 10 I'm bid.

15 now.

At 15, at 20.

PHILIP: At £20, with the lady in the center at 20.

25 on the back wall, at 25, at £30 bid.

At £30.

It is yours, madam at 30.

PHILIP: Any further bidders then at 30, have you all done, see it sold on £30.

35, just in time.

Oh, just in time.

PHILIP: Have another one, madam, at £35.

Done then on 35, your bid sir at 35.

Oh, that's alright.

£20 profit.

Good work, Mark.

Good work.

I'm happy with that.

VO: The gavel nailed it!

Strike one to Mark.

Once the gavel's gone down, you can't get the gavel again.

VO: Oh, he's like a Zen master.

Now it's boozy Will with the Scotch whisky display bottle.

Anyone fancy a wee nip?

Start her at £10, surely someone, 10?

Thank you, 10 I'm bid.

15 bid.

At £15, a shop display lot here at £15 only.

At £15 only.

WILL: That's one opener.

That's cheap.

PHILIP: I'll let it go then, that's yours at 15.

Have you all done?

All finished then on £15, yours at the back sir at 15.

PHILIP: £15 only.

VO: Not a great start for Will's first Road Trip auction.

Mark's up next with his Mont Blanc painting.

Could this pretty little picture make him a pretty little penny and keep him in the lead?

PHILIP: I'm going to say £30 to get it started.

Any bids at 30?

20 then?

Any bids at 10?

Oh, come on.

PHILIP: Start me £10 on it.

Any bids at all at £10.

PHILIP: A little view here of Mont Blanc.

PHILIP: Any bids at £10 for it?

No bids at all?

Oh dear me.

PHILIP: Well we can't sell it, you can't bid and I can't sell it.

£5, I've got it there at £5 only.

MARK: I can't believe that.

PHILIP: At £5 only, last time, have you all done?

Oh, this is silly, Will.

PHILIP: £5 only.

That's ridiculous.

VO: What a hefty loss.

That's obliterated his earlier profit.

My 15 quid for me bottle is looking quite good now!

It is looking very good.

That's very disappointing actually.

VO: There's a chance for Will now with his 19th century glass barrel but he needs to make over £80 to clear a profit.

Rather nice item this is... Oh, thank you very much.

It is nice.

PHILIP: By Loftus of London.

WILL: Come on!

PHILIP: A nice item that, surely £50 it must be.

Get me started at 30, someone.

Any bids at £30?

Get me started on it.

The spirit barrel at £30.

PHILIP: Surely £30 for it, must be 30.

Well 10 from someone then?

PHILIP: Get it going at £10, any bids at £10 for this lot?

PHILIP: Any bids, thank you, 10 at the back, and only £10.

15 at the back, at 15.

20.

At £20, come along sir at £20, 25.

PHILIP: At £25.

It was no money at 25, PHILIP: I've got to sell it though, it's got to go at 25.

Let it go to the very back wall at £25.

(GAVEL STRIKES) PHILIP: Bidder number one.

I'm sorry, Will.

That is just...

I mean, I...

I'm really sorry, Will.

VO: What a disaster, eh?

No one seems interested in the alcohol theme, but will his smoking lots fare any better?

And here's one now.

The 19th century oak smoker's box.

Must be £30 for it, £20 from someone.

PHILIP: Who'll bid me £20 to get this one, thank you, £20, only bid at £20.

PHILIP: Five bid you now?

At 25.

At 25, £30 bid now, at 30.

PHILIP: 35.

And 40.

At £40, at 40.

At £40, looking at the wall now at 40, bid again sir, no, at 40.

PHILIP: All done, are we all finished then?

PHILIP: Last bid it is at £40, done on £40 it sells.

PHILIP: Bidder number 5,000, £40, thank you.

Well done, you made a... You didn't... A small loss.

A small loss, which is good, actually.

VO: Loss after loss after loss.

Poor Will - he took a risk with his theme, and so far it's not paying off.

VO: And Mark's not doing much better.

Could his Anglo-Indian box have some eastern promise?

PHILIP: Beautifully carved, that is.

Oh, beautifully carved.

PHILIP: Start us at 20, opening the bidding at £20, someone surely at 20, any bids then at 10?

£10 PHILIP: 15 anywhere?

15 bid, at 15.

20 against you, madam.

£20 surely will you?

Is that a bid, madam?

PHILIP: Can't see you.

Would you bid me 20 there?

He's trying.

PHILIP: £15 only, then, at £15.

At £15.

It's got to be sold, it goes then on 15.

PHILIP: Last time at 15, had its time at 15.

15.

VO: A small loss, but a loss nonetheless, and it's all stacking up.

We've got our health, Mark.

We've got a nice car parked outside.

We have, the sun is still shining.

And only a few more lots to go.

And then we'll hit the bar!

I'm in for that.

VO: Mark's up again with his novelty pig jug.

It'll have to be one miraculous piggy to stop this desperate losing streak.

PHILIP: People collect pigs.

How do we like this one, start it around £40 surely?

PHILIP: Any bids at 30 then?

For the pig at £30 for me?

PHILIP: 10 to get it started.

PHILIP: Someone bid me at £10 to get it started.

PHILIP: Any bids at £10 for it?

Any bids at £10 for the pig?

Oh, dear me, poor fellow at £10, thank you, £10, at 10.

PHILIP: 15 now against you.

At £15, £20 I have.

At £20, it's yours in the center madam at 20.

Any further bidders then?

PHILIP: Letting it go at 20.

Finished on £20 only.

VO: This little piggy did not get to market.

There seems to be a theme emerging from today, sir.

VO: If Will can make a profit on his final two items he could still be in with a chance.

Next up is his silver plated cigar cutter.

Somebody bid me on it, any bids at all, get it started at a fiver, someone?

The blade's marked Solingen as well.

Mind you, if my picture makes a fiver, Will.

Eight I'm bid.

Eight I'm bid now, at 10.

PHILIP: 10 I have.

At £10, at £10 bid again, sir, at 10.

Right in the corner of the room, bid me 10.

PHILIP: It's only then at £10 only.

PHILIP: I'll let it go at 10, finished with it at £10 only.

Ah!

Well thank you very much.

VO: Oh lordy!

Another crushing blow for Will.

Mark's Japanese cloisonne circular box is the next lot - surely this will do some business.

Your pretty box.

Oh, my pretty box.

With me here, it stared at £20 only.

£20, 25.

30...five.

40...five.

50 bid.

At £50, the desk at £50.

At £50, at 50.

Any further bidders then at 50?

PHILIP: Last time, all done, have you finished then on 50, it sells to the desk, at £50 it goes.

God, it went a little bit more than I thought, but it's still a loss.

Yeah.

VO: Another beastly outcome, eh?

But there's not much between the pair, so it could all change with Will's final lot.

VO: It's his snuff box.

It this sparks the crowd's interest he could still be in with a chance.

Here we go.

That one there for you, how do you value this lot?

Say £10 to get it started?

PHILIP: Thank you, 10 I'm bid, 15 now, 15.

PHILIP: 20...five.

At £25 for this lot, at 25.

PHILIP: At 25, last time, have you all done at 25?

PHILIP: Finished then, £30, bid at 30.

PHILIP: At £30, in the center I've got it at 30.

She can come again!

PHILIP: Last time then on £30, it goes at 30.

That's the highest profit of the day.

Woo!

Get in!

Well done, 20 quid profit.

Thank you very much, sir.

VO: Hurrah!

Profit at last.

But too little too late, and despite desperate losses on both sides, Mark beats Will by a nose.

I've had enough of this.

Let's go.

I've had enough of this, come on.

VO: Newbie Will Axon started with the princely sum of £200 and spent the lot.

After auction costs he's lost £101.60, leaving him with £98.40 for the next leg.

VO: Mark Stacey spent £185 of his starting budget of 200, and after costs made a loss of £82.50, which means he has just £117.50 to play with next time.

What a disaster.

I'm still a bit shell shocked, to be honest.

MARK: Me too.

I mean, I think we've got a little bit of money left.

We made small profits, and big losses.

And small profit.

One each, that's it.

Oh, yeah.

And then big losses.

Big losses.

Shall we see if we've got enough petrol to get us to the next stop?

MARK: Shall we check the gauge?

Oh God, Mark.

But we did say we were going to stay cheery.

MARK: Oh, we are cheerful, of course we are.

It can only get better!

What else can happen?

VO: Probably quite a lot.

Drive on, chaps - a new leg awaits you!

VO: Next time on the Antiques Road Trip: Lovely day.

Lovely day, lovely weather.

I think we're going that way.

VO: Mark Stacey has to be reminded of the rules of the game.

Well, I've seen a fridge freezer I quite like!

VO: And new boy Will Axon takes a more hard headed approach.

How do I look?

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