MAN: ♪ Martha was an average dog ♪ ♪ She went... and... and... ♪ (barking, growls) ♪ When she ate some alphabet soup ♪ ♪ Then what happened was bizarre... ♪ On the way to Martha's stomach, the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain, and now... ♪ She's got a lot to say ♪ ♪ Now she speaks... ♪ How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks ♪ ♪ Yeah, she speaks and speaks and speaks ♪ ♪ And speaks and speaks... ♪ What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪ Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but still that Martha speaks... ♪ Hi, there.

♪ She's got the voice, she's ready to shout ♪ ♪ Martha will tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ Sometimes wrong, but seldom in doubt ♪ ♪ Martha will tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ That dog's unique... ♪ Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak ♪ ♪ Martha speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks and... ♪ ♪ Communicates, enumerates, elucidates, exaggerates ♪ ♪ Indicates and explicates ♪ ♪ Bloviates and overstates and... ♪ (panting) ♪ Hyperventilates!

♪ ♪ Martha-- to reiterate-- Martha speaks.

♪ TD: And now for The Martha Report.

Today we look at words like "outgoing" and "self-confident."

My colleague is incorrect.

Today's words are words like "timid" and "bashful."

It's pretty impulsive to come out here without knowing which words we're doing today.

Like "impulsive," for instance.

Today's words are words like "kind" and "sweet."

Nasty.

I'm sorry?

"Nasty."

It's one of the words.

And "shallow and "vicious."

Sweet.

Vicious.

Sweet!

It's the news fairy!

Relax, you two.

You're both right.

Just watch!

(moaning) (sighs with exhaustion) Ah!

(Skits barks) Ooh!

So much for cooling off.

(phone rings) Hello?

How long before Tiffany Blatsky's pool party?

One day.

That's one day too long.

I know.

Hey, did you see she's having a floating ice sculpture this year?

And a band.

And a slushy machine!

I'm so hot I may sit in my bathtub till then.

(Martha shudders) What a horrible idea!

("call waiting" beeps) Hold on.

Someone's beeping.

Hello?

(in nasal voice): Hey.

Truman laminated... Do you have a cold?

No.

Wait.

(in normal voice): Truman laminated some playing cards.

We're going to sit in a baby pool and play Go Fish.

Want to come?

Martha?

Sounds risky.

Is there shampoo involved?

(barks) I don't think so.

We're in.

We'll be right over.

(kids giggling) Whoa!

(barks) Hey!

Watch it!

Hours of entertainment.

How is this different from a bathtub?

It's a different sort of experience altogether.

How?

It's water from a faucet in a round thing.

Don't ruin this for me, okay?

(giggles) Give me all your twos.

Go fish.

(takes a deep breath) Where's Alice?

On her way.

Give me all your sevens.

Go fish.

ALICE: Hey, guys!

Sorry I'm late.

I ran out of sunscreen.

You could have used some of ours.

Uh-uh.

I have to use a special brand because I'm so fair-skinned.

I get such bad sunburn.

Anyway, the store didn't have my brand.

So I went to another store.

They didn't have my brand either.

So I went to another store.

(baby giggling) Whoa!

Ow!

Stingy!

Stingy!

Finally, I found it.

They changed the color of the tube, though.

You are obsessed with sunscreen.

I have to be because of my complexion.

Complexion?

Never heard of it.

"Complexion" means the color of your skin.

Whoo-hoo!

I'm so fair-skinned, I bet I could get burned just thinking about sun.

I'm fair, but I don't usually burn if I put on sunscreen before I go out.

It's not just fair skin that gets burned.

I have a dark complexion, and I sunburn.

Really?

Yeah.

It is no fun.

Tell me about it.

Once when I was little, Ronald and I were playing at Dog Head Lake.

Oh!

ALICE: I didn't notice anything wrong until I got home.

Ow!

Stingy!

Stingy!

Alice?!

Didn't you put on sunscreen?

Uh-uh.

I had a t-shirt on.

Ow!

Ow, ow-ow, ow.

Ow-ow, ow-ow.

Ow.

Ow.

(kids giggle, Skits barks) You got sunburned through a shirt?

That's right.

Since then, I never go out without sunscreen.

It's just too ow-ey.

Uh, you just finished doing that.

Well, it might have washed off in the sprinkler.

Again?

I might have sweat it off.

Don't tell me you ate it off.

I'm not the sort of kid who takes chances.

Duck, duck, duck... Whoa!

Alice...

I know, I know.

I use a lot of sunscreen.

No.

You better go inside.

What?

Am I red?

Not red exactly.

Pink?

No.

Uh... not pink.

Well, what?

What color am I?

Sort of a bronzy... Browny... Orange!

(yelling) You look fine to me.

Of course I can't see color.

This is the worst sunburn ever.

I'll say.

Not only are you sunburned, your shirt is, too!

Mmm, it's not sunburn.

It's not?

It's dye.

She's going to die?!

No!

(upset): Oh, no!

(wailing): No!

(sobbing) No!

Not d-i-e. D-y-e. Like the stuff you use to color Easter eggs.

Didn't you read the label?

Isn't it my brand?

Yes, but it's a self-tanning sunscreen.

It has a chemical that dyes your skin.

Who would want to dye their skin orange?

I think that only happens if you use too much.

(gasps) How do I get it off?

(Alice groaning) Rub harder!

Sweetheart, I think it's going to have to wear off.

But Mom, I don't have time!

Tiffany Blatsky's pool party is tomorrow.

(yells) Oh, honey.

It's not that bad.

Why, I bet no one will even notice.

Holy cow!

(guffaws) My sister looks like a traffic cone!

(gasps) (sobbing) Oh, no!

Alice, come back!

Yeah, I want to get a picture!

HELEN: Not going to Tiffany's party?

But Alice, you have to!

I can't.

I'm just feeling too timid.

Timid?

You're not timid.

Timid means you're shy.

You're the least timid person I know.

You're very outgoing.

Yeah, well, looking like a walking carrot kind of zaps the old confidence.

RONALD: Smile!

(shrieks) Rats!

Blurry.

Could be a sunset.

Okay.

We need ideas.

Tiffany's party is tomorrow.

We've got until then to get Alice's complexion back to normal.

I brought you some of my mom's body scrub.

"Removes old skin and produces a fresh, dewy glow in minutes."

Well?

How do I look?

Uh, like a fresh, dewy orange?

(yells) (growls) Too much flash.

Makes her look peach.

My Grandma says lemons fade freckles.

The way I see it, your skin is like a bunch of big orange freckles that grew together.

Not helping.

Sorry.

No.

I mean the lemons.

They're not helping.

Are they?

No.

But you smell zesty.

Alice?

Are you sure?

Mm-hmm.

Do you know how rough those things are?

They're worse than sandpaper.

Mm-hmm, just do it.

(cats meowing, Alice groaning) Gross!

Rough tongues, rough tongues!

(whimpers) I can't watch.

(sniffing) But I can clean up.

(groans) If that didn't remove the dye, nothing will.

Too bad Tiffany's not having a party just for dogs.

It's all black and white to us.

That's it!

We've been going about this all wrong.

Instead of trying to remove the dye, we should just make Alice look as if she looks like everyone else.

Uh, she would look like everyone else if she wasn't orange.

Yeah.

But I'm talking about a way where you don't have to get rid of the orange.

What?

Dog-vision sunglasses.

ALL: Dog-vision sunglasses?

Dog-vision sunglasses.

When you wear dog-vision sunglasses, you see everything in black and white.

We go to Tiffany's, see?

And we dance around, all outgoing and friendly.

It's the same thing.

What?

Outgoing and friendly.

They're the same.

"Outgoing" means you're very friendly and like to meet people.

It's not very friendly of you to point that out right now.

Sorry.

TD: So we're all being outgoing.

And when no one's looking, we switch the regular sunglasses with our dog-vision sunglasses.

Then Alice shows up and no one notices she's orange, because with their dog-vision sunglasses, everything is black and white.

Cool!

TD?

Do those sort of glasses really exist?

No.

But it would be nice if they did.

(Truman sighs) Too bad we can't make Alice look like everyone else.

Maybe we can!

(whispering) (giggling): I like it.

(whispering) It's for a good cause.

Hmm...

I covered for you in the school play, remember?

I'll do it.

It's really important.

A kid's reputation depends on it.

I knew I could depend on you.

(laughing) MARTHA: I told everyone I could think of.

Do you think they'll do it?

Of course they will.

(knock on door) Helen said she found a way for you to blend in.

Uh-uh, I'm not going.

Why are you so bashful?

If "bashful" means orange, I can't help it.

I've been dyed.

No.

Bashful is the same as timid.

It means you're shy.

Mom!

I look like a gumdrop with glasses.

Of course I'm bashful.

Well, don't be.

You'll have fun.

(sighs) Fine.

I can't wait for everyone to see you.

You look like a little squash.

I'd like to squash you.

What?

Well?

What do you think?

We didn't want you to feel self-conscious about being orange.

You guys!

Where's Ronald going?

MARTHA: Maybe he's self-conscious about not being orange.

(yelling) Ready?

Ready!

Okay, Milo, you call it.

Red rover, red rover, send Skits right over!

(barks) Figures.

(barking) Hey, cuz!

Hey!

Hey?!

Oh, sorry.

I've been looking all over for you.

I've got some big, big news.

Big news?

Did you find a gigantic dinosaur bone like mine?

No, it's much cuter than an old bone.

(yipping) ALL: A puppy!

Isn't she sweet?

I'll say!

Can I hold her?

What's her name?

Lily.

Let us get a sniff.

A puppy!

Carolina?

I didn't think you liked dogs.

(whispering): I don't.

But Lily was so cute.

Plus, she matched my purse.

See?

You got a dog because it matched your purse?

That's kind of shallow, don't you think?

No, it's deep.

See?

She's a perfect fit.

That's not the kind of shallow Alice meant.

When you say someone is shallow that means you think they don't care or think about important things.

That is so not true!

I'm not shallow!

I put a lot of thought into adopting this puppy.

There was a white and beige puppy, too.

And I have a white and beige bag, so I had to figure out which bag I use more often.

Exactly how did you get permission to adopt a dog?

Yeah.

Kazuo won't let you adopt unless you get permission from your parents.

I had Tiffany Blatsky call and pretend to be my grandmother.

What?

(gasping) I just had to have her!

I just love, love, love her.

Icky!

No licking.

So what type of puppy is she?

A Maltese, silly!

Can't you tell?

Hmm.

Huh.

Isn't a Maltese a really small dog?

Yeah.

So?

She's got really big paws.

So if Lily's not a Maltese, ¿Qué tipo de perro es?

What type of dog is she?

I don't know.

Maybe Doberman.

CAROLINA: Doberman?

Yeah.

She's black and brown like they are.

I think she's a Rottweiler.

They're black and brown, too.

(Carolina gasps) MARTHA: There could be bulldog in there-- she's kind of pigeon-toed.

CAROLINA: Eww!

Yuck.

I think she's a poodle.

CAROLINA: A poodle?

ALICE: She has curly ears.

HELEN: She's probably a mix of a bunch of different kinds of breeds.

She's a bullweilerdoberdoodle.

CAROLINA: A bullweilerdoberdoodle?

If she's got poodle in her, she might be hypoallergenic.

Hypoallergenic?

Does that mean ugly?

HELEN (laughing): No.

Hypoallergenic means that if you're allergic to dogs, Lily won't make you sneeze.

But what if you're allergic to ugly?

You're worried about how she'll look?

Now, that is really shallow.

It's not just that.

I don't know anything about bullweilerdoberdoodles.

What type of dogs are they?

I know how we can find out.

These are all movies starring Lily's different dog breeds.

I figure we'll get a better idea of the breeds' temperaments if we can see them in action.

Lily, come!

Come on, Lily.

(frustrated groan) TD: Everybody ready?

Can I hold Lily?

Be my guest.

The first movie is about a guy and two Dobermans who get locked in a store at night.

Hey, that sounds like when we got locked in Grimbles.

(barks) (barking on TV) (screaming) That wasn't like Grimbles at all.

Those dogs were vicious!

TD: Now hang on a minute.

Any dog can be mean and nasty if it isn't treated right.

Besides, I think those Dobermans were just acting.

CAROLINA: Yeah-- acting nasty.

Let's check out the Rottweiler.

Okay.

I've got that breed right here.

What's this about?

It's a kid named Damey-something.

I can't make out his name.

But he's got a really big Rottweiler.

(growling) Next.

I couldn't find anything on bulldogs, but there's this documentary on pit bulls.

(gasping): Eww, icky!

I don't want a dog that looks like that!

Come on, Lily.

HELEN: Carolina?

Carolina, wait!

Carolina!

Where are you going?

To the shelter.

Why?

To give Lily back.

(everyone disapproving at once) No quiero un perro vicioso!

I can't keep this vicious dog!

(yips) Vicious?

Lily's not vicious.

Yeah, "vicious" means someone is really mean and can hurt you.

Lily's a sweet, little puppy.

Puppies grow into dogs.

Face it, she's a bad dog waiting to happen.

(yips) HELEN: Carolina, you're being impulsive.

No, I'm not.

No soy impulsiva.

"Impulsive" means you do things without really thinking about them first.

This isn't sudden.

I've been thinking of getting rid of this puppy the whole way here.

What was impulsive was me adopting a dog in the first place.

I mean me, with a dog?

I'm just not the type.

(clears throat): Hard to argue with that.

It'd be cruel of me to keep her.

I don't have the patience or temperament to raise a dog.

Well, that's true.

I'll be a bad owner.

Remember my fish?

Mr. Floaty?

(everyone shudders) Lily deserves better.

I could adopt her from you.

I could adopt Lily.

My dad said I could get a puppy.

I just need to ask him.

What are we waiting for?

Somebody get this kid a phone!

She's the best, Dad!

Her name is Lily and she's super sweet.

No, Dad, I'm not being impulsive.

I've wanted a dog for a long time, and I know it's a lot of responsibility, and I promise to take care of her.

What type of breed is she?

A bullweilerdoberdoodle.

That's a poodle and... some other kinds.

Um, bulldog, Rottweiler, Doberman.

But the poodle means she's hypoallergenic.

No, she's not vicious.

She's got a great temperament.

She's really sweet and meek and...

But Dad!

He says he thinks she'll be too mean and I can't keep her.

You're getting a bum rap, Lily.

(barks) So we have to take her back to the shelter?

(groaning) Don't worry, I have a better idea.

Thank your Mom so, so, so much for agreeing to foster Lily.

She's happy to do it.

We're pros at fostering now.

(hisses) Don't pay any attention to that nasty old cat.

So, how does fostering work?

Well, you remember Martha's friend, the kitten, right?

Mm-hmm.

It's just like that.

When you foster a pet, you take care of it until it finds a forever home.

Hear that, Lily?

Even if you can't stay with me, you'll never go back to the shelter again.

(doorbell rings) Lily has to go back to the shelter.

What's wrong?

Is she bothering Nelson?

No, Nelson is bothering her.

He's got a nasty temperament.

He's so mean.

He pounces on her out of nowhere.

He's really scaring her.

Don't worry, I've got an idea.

You have to foster Lily.

I can't.

My dad's allergic.

But Lily's a bullweilerdoberdoodle.

She's hypoallergenic.

Oh, right!

I forgot!

Come here, little girl!

(doorbell rings) She has to go back to the shelter.

She's not hypoallergenic?

No, she is, but she's not housebroken.

My mom says no way.

Helen!

Come help me with the groceries, please.

HELEN: Be right there.

Helen?

What are you doing with that puppy?

Trying to housebreak her.

Remember how you kept Skits and me on leashes until we were housebroken... so we wouldn't sneak off and have accidents in the house?

(chuckles) I know all about housebreaking techniques.

What I don't know is why is there a puppy in this house?

(phone rings) Hello?

Hola, Tía Mariela.

I was just calling to see if Milo adopted my puppy okay.

Your puppy?

Yeah, I got it to go with my handbag.

But then I realized I was a little impulsive, so I got rid of it.

May I speak to your father, please?

A puppy is not a shirt you throw away when you don't want it anymore.

Lily is your responsibility.

But what if she's vicious?

She won't be as long as you love her and take good care of her.

Mom's right.

Look at me-- I'm part pit bull.

Eww, you are?

Uh-huh.

And I'm a big ol' marshmallow.

You just have to teach dogs the right way to behave, and they can all be marshmallows like Martha.

Bye-bye, Lily.

You come and visit us often, okay?

(sighing): This is awful.

Why?

She's a really sweet puppy.

I don't mean awful for me-- awful for Lily.

I'm really not the kind of person who should have a pet.

(barks) Good thinking!

Skits has a way to solve your problem.

Really?

Boy, I am desperate-- I'm taking advice from a dog.

And even though she's a bullweilerdoberdoodle, she's not the least bit vicious at all.

As long as you teach her the right way to behave, she'll be a big ol' marshmallow.

(laughing): I can see that.

MILO: Lily!

Aw, sweet puppy.

Well, do you still want her, son?

Do I!

(Milo laughing, Lily yipping) Skits was right.

He knew Milo's dad just needed to see Lily to know she wasn't vicious.

Not so fast.

What?

I thought you didn't want Lily.

I don't.

But that doesn't mean I'll give her to just anybody.

I have to make sure she'll be cared for.

Where is she going to sleep?

You'll have to get her a doggy bed.

I will, I will!

What about a place to exercise?

Do you have a fenced-in yard?

No, but I'll walk her all the time and take her to the park and take her swimming and everything.

Hmm, you'll need to keep those wires out of the way.

And get her lots of chew toys.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm...

Okay, she's all yours.

All right!

Thanks, Carolina.

I'll be really sweet and kind to Lily.

I promise.

(sighing): Thank you, Skits.

That was a great idea.

I feel so much better.

Because you got rid of that puppy?

No, because I know she's in the right forever home now.

Come on, Skits, race you to our forever home.

Wait for me!

I'm coming too!

or check out your local library for the "Martha Speaks" books.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org