Martha was an average dog ♪ ♪ She went... and... and... ♪ (barking, growls) ♪ When she ate some alphabet soup ♪ ♪ Then what happened was bizarre... ♪ On the way to Martha's stomach, the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain and now... ♪ She's got a lot to say ♪ ♪ Now she speaks... ♪ How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks, yeah, she speaks and speaks ♪ ♪ And speaks and speaks and speaks... ♪ What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪ Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but still that Martha speaks.

♪ Hi, there!

♪ She's got a voice, she's ready to shout ♪ ♪ Martha will tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ Sometimes wrong but seldom in doubt ♪ ♪ Martha will tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ That dog's unique... ♪ Testing, one, two!

♪ Hear her speak ♪ ♪ Martha speaks and speaks ♪ ♪ And speaks and speaks and... ♪ ♪ Communicates, enumerates ♪ ♪ Elucidates, exaggerates ♪ ♪ Indicates and explicates, bloviates and overtakes and... ♪ (panting) ♪ ...hyperventilates!

♪ ♪ Martha, to reiterate... ♪ Martha speaks!

♪ Martha speaks.

♪ (engine rumbling) MARTHA: ♪ 29 slabs of beef on the wall ♪ ♪ 29 slabs of beef ♪ ♪ You take one down, pass it around ♪ ♪ 28 slabs of beef on the wall!

♪ Martha, it's time to change songs.

We're a little tired of this one.

How about "99 Loins of Pork"?

That's a good one.

You ever been to a farm, Helen?

Nope.

You're going to love it.

Hey, maybe we can go fishing tomorrow after we finish our chores.

Oh, you kids don't have to do any chores.

You should have no responsibilities during your vacation.

I love chores.

I do things to help out around the house all the time.

(lisping): This tongue is designed to clean dishes.

The chores on a farm are a bit different than the little daily jobs you have back at home.

There's herding the sheep, feeding the chickens, milking the cows.

You really want to help out with those?

Are you kidding?

Those don't sound like jobs at all; they sound like fun.

I just know I'm going to love being in the country.

(inhales) Ah!

Smell that air.

It smells like cinnamon, and yeast, and... partially hydrogenated vegetable oil.

That sounds more like a donut.

It is.

There's a box in the trunk.

Can I have one?

No.

(brakes squeak) Home, sweet home.

Ah!

Listen to that silence.

You can't "listen" to silence, T.D.

(distant howling) That didn't sound like silence!

(chuckling) That's just the new basset hound our neighbor's got.

Look at you two.

What a bunch of city slickers.

Didn't sound like any basset hound I've ever heard.

(leaves rustle) (rooster crows) See you, Helen.

I'm off to do the chores.

(chirping) ♪ Oh...

I'm a farm dog, I work all day ♪ ♪ I rise in the morning and I pull the hay ♪ ♪ There's a lot to do, but that's okay ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm a farm dog and I like it that way.

♪ Mornin', Flossie.

I need one regular, one two-percent, and one chocolate.

(cowbell clanks) Thanks, Flossie.

(Flossie moos) HELEN: Breakfast is ready!

(clanging) Come and get it!

What's for breakfast, Helen?

Oh, the usual.

Bacon, flapjacks, corn muffins, grits, bacon, scrambled eggs, sausages, bacon, waffles, French toast, and bacon.

Wake up, Martha.

If you want to help me with those chores, then it's time to rise and shine.

(grunts) Oh, what a dream.

But I'm tired, and it's still dark out.

Not for long.

The sun will rise in a minute; and when the sun rises, so does the farmer.

Okay, okay, I'm rising.

(grunts, groans) Ooh, sleepy paw.

Look at all these trees.

Mmm, and this grass is much tastier than the stuff at the park.

All righty, so here's our first task.

You see those sheep in there?

Yuh-huh.

Hi, sheep!

(bleating) We have to herd them from that pen into this pasture.

Huh?

But we already heard them.

They said "Baa!"

(chuckling) I meant a different kind of "herd"-- not like, "I heard what they said," but herd, like moving them from one place to another in a group.

Oh!

Herding sounds easy.

(latch creaks) Well, not always.

Those sheep can be pretty stubborn.

Ah, leave it to me.

Listen up, sheep.

I have a responsibility here, and that means I've got a job to do, and you're going to help me do it.

I want you to move from here to there.

Okay now, on my count.

One, two, three... move!

(sheep bleating) Wow!

(gate creaks) That's impressive.

Ah, it's all in the tone.

So, what's next?

You're responsible for keeping them in this pasture and making sure they don't wander out.

Think you can handle that while I feed the chickens?

No problem!

See ya, Martha.

You're a great farm dog.

Okay, sheep, you heard, C.K.

Eat as much as you want, but there's to be no wandering from the... H-Hey, wait.

Where are you going?

You're supposed to stay right here, in the pasture.

(bleats) Oh, the woods are part of the pasture, too?

(bleats) And the house, too?

Oh, well, okay, as long as you're still... in the pasture.

Well, that's that job under control.

I guess I'll see if C.K.

needs some help with some other chores.

HELEN: Okay, the worm is on the hook.

What now?

Now you cast your line... like this.

(reel whirrs) (reel whirrs) Done.

What do we do next?

T.D.

: Nothing.

Nothing?

Yep.

Our work is all done.

Now it's the fish's job to bite.

(sighs contentedly) Fresh air, quiet, and no tasks.

Tasks?

Yeah, little jobs you're supposed to do.

You know, like mowing the lawn, homework... Oh!

I thought tasks were a kind of fish.

C.K.?!

Yoo-hoo!

I'm ready for my next task.

(clucking) Hello, ladies.

(clucking frantically) I'm Martha, your temporary farm dog.

Any jobs I can do around here?

(clucking) Sit on your eggs?

Isn't that a chicken's responsibility?

(clucking) I'll be better at it because I have a bigger bottom?

Okay.

(clucking excitedly) Ooh, huh, at least they're nice and toasty.

Oh, look!

There's newspaper on the floor!

(gasps) That's one mean-looking dog.

Actually, it doesn't really look like a dog.

I wonder what it could be?

T.D.

: That one looks like a potato.

And that one looks like my cousin J.T.

He has 12 toes.

He has 12 toes, you know.

I just see clouds.

Why aren't the fish biting?

It's been almost an hour.

Don't they eat breakfast?

They're sleeping in.

Want a granola bar?

Yeah!

(grunting) Hey!

That was my breakfast!

Maybe we should have baited the hooks with granola.

(yawns) How long do I have to sit on these eggs, anyway?

Oh, no!

The sheep!

I should probably go check on them.

Don't worry, eggs.

I'm sure the chickens will be back soon.

Here, sheepy-sheepy-sheep!

(cow moos) (gasps) That sounds like an animal calling for help!

Hold on, I'm coming!!

(mooing) All right, ma'am, you can relax now.

I'm Martha, your temporary farm dog.

Now what seems to be the problem?

(moos) Oh.

You're hungry.

Is that all?

(all mooing) That'll do the job!

(grunting) (sighs) Here you go!

That should take care of lunch and dinner too.

Feeding the cows was a lot more fun than sitting on eggs, that's for su-su... Uh-oh.

I'm still moving.

A hayride!

Perfect!

MARTHA: Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Faster!

Faster!

(laughing) Martha?!

(gasps) Whoa!

(bleating and clucking) Aah!

They took my worm again!

That's the fifth one.

You fish are going to pay, you hear me?

Helen, getting angry at the fish isn't going to help.

I have a much better idea.

What's that?

We beg.

Please, please, just take one little bite!

We've been waiting for hours!

MARTHA: Faster!

Faster!

(wheels rattling) (whoops) Yeah!

(Martha whoops) Ugh!

Ugh!

(Martha chuckles) (whoops) Aw, that was amazing!

You kids have to try it.

Hey, did you catch anything yet?

I'm starving.

MARTHA: But I thought the pasture included the house.

No, the pasture is just that green grassy area where the animals eat.

Well, those sheep tricked me.

And the chickens tried to get me to do their jobs for them.

I'm a terrible farm dog.

No, you're not.

It's just a whole new set of responsibilities.

I'll just stay in my room all day tomorrow.

That way I won't cause any trouble.

(crickets chirping) (bleating) (bleating in distance) Ooh, what's that?

Oh, it's just those sheep, probably lying to somebody else.

Actually, they sound really afraid.

I better go tell C.K.

(bleating) They're saying that they saw something roaming around.

Hmm.

Could be a stray.

I'm going to check on the chickens.

You stay here.

This better not be one of your sheep tricks!

(bleating) (growling) It's that mean-looking creature from the newspaper!

They're trapped!

I've got to do something!

(growling) (bleating) (gate squeaks) Quick, into the pasture, but stay together in a herd.

There's safety in numbers.

(bleating) (growling) (gasps) (bleating) Huh!

You see that?

Everyone is safe.

(gate squeaks and clicks) (whimpers) Except for me.

(growling) Oh, you're a coyote.

I always wondered what one of those looked like.

(growling) (barking) (whimpers) Ha!

Take that!

It's okay, CK.

I've got everything under control.

It was just a coyote.

They're all howl and no bite.

HELEN: Thanks for a great weekend, CK!

I should be the one thanking you.

If Martha hadn't been there, I don't know what would have happened to those sheep.

Oh, it was nothing.

So, what did you think of the farm, Martha?

Well, those jobs were not easy, but my chores at home are no walk in the park, either.

Actually, one of them is a walk in the park.

And then there's chasing cars and squirrels, and digging in the yard and... (Martha yawns) Just thinking of all I have to do is making me tired.

HELEN: I have to go help Mom.

Can you keep an eye on Jake for a minute?

No problem.

I'll be right back.

(sniffing) Ah, soup!

(thudding and clattering) Skits, what are you doing?

(growls) Digging in the kitchen garbage is a no!

We have to clean this up.

JAKE: Ah!

Hi!

What?

(phone line beeping) No, Jake.

We don't feed the phone.

(burbles and sputters) I know it talks, but...

Here, I'll clean it off.

(Jake giggling) (kitchenware clinking) (gasps) (gasps) Skits!

Oh, no!

HELEN: Martha!

I thought I asked you to watch... (Helen gasps, Jake babbles) Who knocked over the garbage?

Oh, it wasn't me.

I...

I suppose those aren't your garbagey paw prints?

And who was licking the phone?

Well, Jake had the... Don't blame... (gasps): My breakfast!

That's it.

Oh!

You're in trouble.

Go outside with Skits.

But... Go!

It wasn't my fault!

Oh, what's the use?

They don't appreciate me.

(Skits barking) No, they don't.

If they appreciated me, that would mean they saw the good things about me.

But they don't appreciate me.

They just yell at me.

Fine!

I know where I'm not wanted.

I'm not going to let a little thing like not being appreciated hold me back.

Heck, I'm a talking dog.

And you know what?

I'll be fine on my own!

(upbeat intro plays) ♪ Watch out, world ♪ ♪ Martha's out on her own!

♪ ♪ Gonna grab this town like it's a big juicy bone ♪ ♪ It's my turn to howl, just wait and see ♪ ♪ Gonna chase success right up a tree ♪ (squirrel chattering) ♪ Up till now, my life was a boat with a hole in it ♪ ♪ The future is a stinky dead frog ♪ ♪ I'm gonna roll in it ♪ ♪ Stand up on my paws ♪ ♪ I'm gonna get on my way!

♪ ♪ I'm gonna roll ♪ ♪ I'm gonna howl ♪ ♪ I'm gonna bark!

♪ ♪ I'm gonna... ♪ Hey, gee, I'm getting a little hungry here.

(Martha grunts) (sniffing) Ugh!

This garbage is garbage.

(echoing): Don't you people throw out any food?

(groans) Look at me, digging through the trash.

I'll never achieve my dreams this way.

Only one thing to do-- get a move on, Martha.

Time to get a job.

Sorry, we don't employ dogs.

But I-I could clean plates.

I do it at home.

Just look at this tongue... Look I'd love to hire you, but there's nothing I can do.

No dogs.

It's a rule.

Sorry.

(sighs) ♪ Big town, you beat me ♪ ♪ What did I think?

♪ ♪ No dogs allowed?

♪ ♪ Well, big town, you stink!

♪ Say, do you like to talk?

Then have we got an exciting opportunity for you!

Opportunity?

An opportunity means a chance to do something you want to do.

Yeah, yeah, I know what it means, but what's the opportunity?

But in this case, it's an opportunity for you to make money.

Yeah, okay, but how already?

...through the exciting, fast-paced world of telephone sales.

You're hired.

Really?

You're going to employ me?

Sure thing.

That's what employ means, doesn't it?

I'm giving you a job.

You're our newest employee.

You don't mind that I'm a dog?

Well, you know how to talk, right?

Sure.

On the phone, who's going to know you're a dog?

Now, we got lots of different products, but they don't sell themselves, so go and get talking!

Yes, Boss!

HELEN: I called and called her.

And look, she's barely touched her breakfast.

That's not like Martha.

I guess she didn't appreciate being yelled at.

But where could she be?

Maybe she's lost, alone, helpless!

Martha?

Helpless?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Come on, let's go find her.

(auto-dial beeping) Hey, it dials the number for you!

This is fun!

(copy machine whirring) It is a lovely day, isn't it, sir?

Kind of makes you want to go out and roll around on the grass.

Well, yes, I am selling something, but first, tell me more about that fudge recipe.

What's your secret?

Now, now, I think you have to let your son know you appreciate him.

(woman cries on other line) You could try scratching him behind the ears.

But, even better, how about a magazine subscription?

Well, if someone was asking me what I wanted for a present, a membership in the Meat of the Month Club would be just the thing!

Can we put this in your window?

MARTHA: You'll take two?

Great!

I'll need your name and address.

Let me transfer you to someone with hands.

You sold all these accounts this morning?

I'm stunned!

What's your secret?

I listen, I guess.

I'm giving you a promotion.

You're promoting me?

That's right-- a promotion.

I'm giving you a better job.

Am I going to be your boss?

You're not getting promoted that far.

Oh.

I'm promoting you from a regular old employee to manager.

Manager?

That's right.

You'll manage all the other employees.

You'll be the boss of them.

Here's your new office, Martha.

Wow!

Thanks for the promotion.

Don't mention it.

Now get to work.

These employees don't manage themselves!

Yes, sir!

(dogs barking inside) MARTHA: We have the best job in the world.

We get to talk to people and help them get the things they need.

Discount cruises!

Lawn care prices that I find, frankly, remarkable.

Pocket Dutch translation machines.

Cleaning products.

Vitamins.

Folks, this isn't just a job, it's a calling!

(all sobbing) Let's get out there and help people!

(all cheering and whooping) I decided you needed an even bigger office.

MARTHA: Wow!

By the way, I never got your address.

Where do you live?

I guess I'm homeless now.

Oh.

Home... Well, you just let me take care of that.

(sighs) Oh, Martha!

(echoing): Where are you?

BOSS: Just look at this place!

Big TV, robotic dog walker, hot and cold running alphabet soup.

What more could you ask for?

You deserve it, kid.

You're a success.

Success?

How am I a success?

You've done everything you set out to do, haven't you?

Mm-hmm.

That means you're a success.

You've been successful at getting customers, you've succeeded as a manager.

What a day!

Uh, excuse me.

I have to make a call.

Go ahead.

I'll just treat myself to some more of these dog biscuits.

Oh, what's the point?

I bet they don't even remember me.

T.D.

: We need a plan.

If we had just one sighting of her, we'd know where to start.

It's no use.

She hates me.

She doesn't hate you.

She's probably just, uh... What are you saying?

You think she's in real trouble?

Hey, don't worry.

It's Martha, right?

I mean, she could have gotten a job at some company, and shot up through the ranks and be living at some sky-high apartment by now.

Yeah, right.

Did you call the pound again?

They're closed.

I'll call them in the morning.

(sighs) I'd like to go a special way to the office, if that's okay.

The pound opens in a few minutes.

They probably haven't found her, but it's worth a try.

Slow down here, please.

What's that?

They found Martha!

(all shouting happily) Guess they're happy without me.

Okay, you can take me to work now.

HELEN: What?

I can't hear you.

You have to speak up.

A Chihuahua?!

No, Martha's not a Chihuahua.

You're sure she's not there?

Okay.

Thanks.

(Helen crying) Oh, Helen.

BOSS: Nice day, huh, Martha?

Uh... yeah.

I don't know what happened to her.

Yesterday, she was great.

Our number-one employee; top of her game.

Now look at her.

Come on, Martha... pull it together.

They forgot all about you.

Doesn't matter.

They didn't appreciate you, anyway.

Only one thing to do.

(click and hiss) (whirring) (sighs) Get back to work.

(auto-dial beeping) (ringing) Hello.

Are you interested in an exciting opportunity?

(crying over phone) Oh, what's the matter?

I just lost my best friend.

Oh, yeah, I know what you mean.

My friend was really smart, and she smelled really good after she had a bath.

Oh, well, mine was smart, and she smelled really good before she had a bath.

If I ever got to see my friend again, I would hug her and tell her how sorry I am, and that I'd never take her for granted ever again.

That's exactly what I'd do, too!

Oh, well.

Thanks for calling.

Wait!

Yes?

Have you ever considered joining the Meat of the Month Club?

Oh... you'd have to ask my parents about that.

Sure.

My mom will be back from the flower shop at 2:00.

Flower shop?

Wait a second.

Is her name Mariela?

How do you know that?

Helen?!

Martha?!

You mean you... you... ...missed me?

Missed me?

Of course!

We've been looking for you all over!

I'm so sorry I yelled at you.

Can you forgive me?

(dial tone) Martha?

Hello?

She hung up.

She must really, really hate me.

(door opens) MARTHA: Are you kidding?

Martha!

You're home!

Home!

♪ I wanted to go ♪ ♪ Thought I needed to roam ♪ ♪ Telemarketing's great ♪ ♪ But it isn't like home!

♪ So, are you going back to work tomorrow?

Well, having a job is great, but it's no substitute for a family.

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