MAN: ♪ Martha was an average dog ♪ ♪ She went... and... and... ♪ (barking, growls) ♪ When she ate some alphabet soup ♪ ♪ Then what happened was bizarre... ♪ On the way to Martha's stomach, the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain, and now... ♪ She's got a lot to say ♪ ♪ Now she speaks... ♪ How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks ♪ ♪ Yeah, she speaks and speaks and speaks ♪ ♪ And speaks and speaks... ♪ What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪ Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but still that Martha speaks... ♪ Hi, there.

♪ She's got the voice, she's ready to shout ♪ ♪ Martha will tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ Sometimes wrong, but seldom in doubt ♪ ♪ Martha will tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ That dog's unique... ♪ Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak ♪ ♪ Martha speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks and... ♪ ♪ Communicates, enumerates, elucidates, exaggerates ♪ ♪ Indicates and explicates ♪ ♪ Bloviates and overstates and... ♪ (panting) ♪ Hyperventilates!

♪ ♪ Martha-- to reiterate-- Martha speaks.

♪ (sniffs) Ah, where'd this one come from?

Let's see.

The last time we used this suitcase was... our trip to Hawaii last summer.

(sniffs) And this one?

Mariella used that when she took her trip to Mexico to see Aunt Vonda.

And that one?

Grandma and Granddad borrowed that one for their trip to England.

(sniffs) I think I like England the best.

Mmm, but Mexico's pretty good, too.

That it is.

Ah, Hawaii.

I bet there's so much to do there.

Or England... Or Mexico...

I sure wish I could travel with you guys.

So do we, old girl.

So do we.

We're going camping this summer.

What about you guys?

(sighs) Montana, dude ranch.

(sighs) Grandma's taking me to Washington, D.C., to see the museums.

(sighs) Aspen... again.

Ow.

(sighing): If only I could travel.

Why can't you?

She can.

Really?

I thought they didn't let dogs on planes.

They do.

Skits is going to Montana with us.

He's going with you, yes, but he's not going with you.

(frustrated sigh) I don't get it.

Two words... Well?

I can't say them.

Cargo hold.

(shudders) Cargo hold?

What's that?

That.

Huh?

You know what cargo is, right?

Sure.

Cargo's all the stuff that a plane or a ship carries.

Like the crates and the boxes and the suitcases?

Ow.

Uh-huh, and the cargo hold is a space in the bottom of the plane where they carry all the cargo.

And that's where the dogs go.

In a suitcase?

No!

In a cage.

In a cage.

In the dark.

In the bottom of a plane.

(dogs whimpering) Into the hold with you.

(shuddering in fear) (Martha grunts as cage hits each stair) (dogs barking, yipping) TRUMAN: It can't be that bad.

How do you know?

Have you ever been in a cargo hold?

No, have you?

Uh... No.

I'll go.

Sounds cool.

They don't let people ride in the cargo hold.

No wonder they're losing customers.

How do you know what it's like until you try it?

How do you know what a volcano's like until you jump into it?

She's got a point.

That ought to do it.

DAD: I'll drop off Jake in about an hour, Mom.

Where is Jake?

Did we pack him?

(giggles) Never mind.

HELEN: And that's the Montana prairie.

It's so huge, you can just run and run and run as much as you want.

Oh, and here's a river where you can swim.

We're going there after the dude ranch.

It's supposed to be really fun.

Oh, Martha, remind me to tell you about the dog-sitter.

Lucy canceló-- she had to cancel, so they're sending over a new one tomorrow, Mr. McGrump or...

I forget, but I'll tell you en un minuto.

Mariella, remember the chewie.

(sighs) MARTHA: Hey, guys!

(all grunt) You know, I've been moaning about not going on the trip to Montana, but I think I'm actually going to like it so much better staying here.

The whole house all to myself, and you guys, and the old fire hydrant.

(sniffs) Ah, it smells... (sighing): the same as always.

Say, have any of you ever gone on a plane flight before?

(yips) (barking) You all have?

In the cargo hold?

(yips) (barking) What was it like?

(all grunt "I don't know") What do you mean ("I don't know" grunt)?

How could you not remember?

Were you asleep?

You were asleep?

How did you ever sleep through something so scary?

MARTHA: Why didn't you tell me there's a pill dogs take so they can sleep through the whole flight?

(laughs) This is going to be a cinch.

I'm so glad you decided to come, Martha.

It's great you changed your mind.

Wow!

So this is the airport terminal.

HELEN: Yeah.

Lots of passengers, huh?

MARTHA: Passengers?

Where?

Passengers are what they call the people traveling on a plane or in a train or a boat or a car or however they're traveling.

Oh.

Am I a passenger, too?

Well, I think only people are called passengers.

Figures.

(purring) I'm sorry, what did you say?

(meows) Oh, um, yeah, we're on the flight to Montana, too.

(meows) Well, of course I'm taking a pill.

Aren't you?

You aren't?

(taunting meow) (gasps) I am not a scaredy-dog!

DAD: In you go.

Okay, Martha.

(laughs) You know what?

I'm not going to take a pill.

FAMILY: What?

But why not?

If that cat's not taking one, I'm certainly not.

It'll be exciting to find out what the cargo hold is like.

Oh boy, I'll be the first dog I know to stay awake for it.

But it might be scary, with the plane taking off and landing, and then sometimes there's turbulence.

Turbulence?

Yeah, turbulence is when the wind outside blows and makes the plane shake around.

The plane shakes?

When there's turbulence it does.

Well, turbulence sounds like fun.

You're sure about this?

Uh-huh.

Wait until that cat sees me wide awake with her in the cargo hold, huh, Skits?

Wait a minute, why isn't that cat being put on the conveyor belt?

Sometimes they let small animals like cats ride along with the passengers.

Cats!

I should've known.

Oh, Martha, why didn't you take that pill?

Okay, what's going on?

Wait, Helen told me about this.

First thing that happens is the plane moves down the runway.

It's called taxiing.

Okay, it's just taxiing.

Then what happens?

The plane takes off.

Wow.

Okay, maybe I should just try to sleep.

I can just imagine what it's like for that cat right now.

More cream?

Ugh, okay, you're not going to fall asleep that way.

(loud clank) What's that?

(gasps) I can't wait to tell Truman I was right.

It is scary in here.

Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep.

(dog barks) Wait a minute, that's a... (barks) (barking) It is.

It's another dog.

(loudly): Are you okay?

(dog barks rapidly) I'm sorry, you've got to calm down.

I can't understand you.

You know what, just hold on and I'll try and come and find you.

Yes, yes, yes... (sighs) Yes!

Don't worry, I'm coming.

Oh, I see, a suitcase fell and broke the lock on your door.

Ah, you spit out your pill.

Bet you won't do that again.

(barking) You don't have to be so scared.

Soon we'll arrive at the airport in Montana and you'll be just fine.

(barking) Riding in the cargo hold is simple.

You just depart, fly for a little bit, and then you arrive where you're going.

(loud crash) (dog barks in fright) Wait a minute, I know what this is.

(dogs barking) It's okay, everybody.

Calm down, this is just some turbulence.

It's when the wind blows the plane a little.

Just like a bumpy road, right?

Nothing to be afraid of here.

It'll stop in a... (laughs) See?

Nothing to be afraid of.

Just a little turbulence.

You can all go back to sleep.

(dogs yawn) Now let's get you back in your cage.

Would you like that?

(muffled): Oh, hi, guys.

That turbulence made a little mess but don't worry, I fixed it for you.

Huh?

Huh?

So you weren't scared at all?

No, not really.

And it's sure given me a lot to tell the gang at the fire hydrant.

(cat screeches) (gasps) Is that...

It freaked out as soon as the plane took off.

It broke out of its cage.

The crew was chasing it around the whole flight.

(screeching) You'd never catch a dog doing that.

(a distant hawk screeches) This looks bad, Slim.

Ola!

Hi!

Howdy, cowboy!

Hammina wha... What?

What'd I say?

DAD: I guess I forgot to mention in my message that Martha speaks.

Ain't fittin'.

MARTHA: Why are we going to a ranch anyway?

I thought on vacation people stayed in hotels.

Not on this vacation.

We're going on a cattle drive.

Driving cows?

Western cows must be really talented and tiny.

The cows on CK's farm can't even fit into a car, much less drive one.

No.

On a cattle drive, the cows don't drive you, you drive them.

Really?

ALL: ♪ One hundred bottles of milk on the wall ♪ ♪ One hundred bottles of milk ♪ ♪ Take one down, pass it around ♪ ♪ 99 bottles of milk on the wall.

♪ (cows moo) Oh, I think we need a bigger bus.

HELEN (laughing): No, no, no.

Cattle drives don't have anything to do with cars or buses.

They don't?

No.

In a cattle drive, people walk cows along a trail from one ranch to another.

Cow walking?

That's your idea of a vacation?

Pretty neat, huh?

The great outdoors!

(quietly): No wonder Jakey stayed at home with Grandma Lucille.

COOKIE: On a vacation, you take off of work and relax, don't you?

Maybe go to the mountains to ski, or to the beach for a swim.

Uh-huh.

Well, this ain't that kind of vacation.

It's a cattle drive.

Ain't no relaxin' or swimmin'.

It's work-- hard work-- and don't you forget it!

(sarcastically): "Ooohh, I want a vacation."

Looks like we got off on the wrong foot with Cookie.

I didn't stand on his feet!

Either of them!

(laughs) Es una expresión.

When you say you get off on the wrong foot with someone, it means you made a bad first impression.

Oh.

I hope we get on the right foot soon.

Me, too.

(clanging) Come and get it.

What's that?

It's the chuck wagon.

It's where cowboys keep their food on cattle drives.

Really?

These vittles ain't fit for a dog.

Au contraire, mon frère!

Maybe I was wrong about you.

ALL: Ugh!

Mmm!

We'll camp here.

Get some shuteye, because we'll depart mighty early in the morning.

(grunts) Where are we supposed to sleep?

You're lookin' at it.

Outdoors?

What's the matter, little doggie?

Is that ground too hard?

Maybe you'd like better lodging?

Lodging?

Lodging means a place you stay when you're away from home.

Oh, well, yes.

Better lodging would be great.

Nothing fancy-- maybe just a comfy chair.

Well, there ain't no lodging!

This ain't that kind of vacation.

This is a cattle drive.

On a cattle drive, cowboys camp outdoors on the ground.

Got it?

ALL: Yes, sir.

(dismissively): City folk.

(gulps hard) I think I stepped on his other wrong foot.

(horses neigh, cows moo) (Skits barks) (Martha squeals happily) (mooing) (Martha pants) Martha?

Would you like to ride up here with me?

Would I?!

Wow, you can really see far up here.

Makes you feel like a real cowboy, doesn't it?

♪ Whoop-ee ti-yi-yo ♪ ♪ Get along little dogies ♪ Hey!

What's the idea?

Get along, dogie?

You invited me up here.

You're not a dogie, you're a doggie.

A dogie is a motherless cow.

That's not a very nice song.

First the baby cow loses its mother and then you tell it to get lost.

The words ought to be more inviting.

♪ Whoop-ee ti-yi-yo ♪ ♪ Have a seat, little dogies ♪ ♪ I know your mama don't want you to roam ♪ (loud mooing) Cows like it.

♪ Whoop-ee ti-yi-yo ♪ ♪ Rest your feet little dogies ♪ Whoa!

Now look what you've done!

This is a cattle drive!

Cows can't sit!

They're supposed to move along the trail!

Oh.

Sorry.

It was just a song.

When I said, "Have a seat," I didn't really mean it, did I, Skits?

(barks) So let's move 'em out!

(moos loudly) (laughs nervously) While the cows are having a seat, why don't we do some sightseeing?

Oh, that's a great idea.

We can tour around on our horses and look at the scenery.

Sightseeing?

Yeah, sightseeing.

When you go sightseeing, it means you visit all the fun things in the place you're vacationing.

Oh, don't that sound nice?

We could tour around and take pictures, couldn't we?

ALL: Uh-huh.

'Cept we're not doing no sightseeing!

This ain't that kind of vacation.

This is a cattle drive, and there's no taking purdy pictures of the scenery.

(flashbulb pops) Ah!

Sorry.

Now I'm on the wrong foot.

Me, too.

Me, too.

(sighing): Welcome to my world.

We'll have to break camp extra early tomorrow on account of the cows sitting today.

(mooing) HELEN: Cookie?

Something's wrong with the cows.

There's wolves out there.

The cows can smell them.

They make the cows jumpy.

(wolf howls loudly) Hey!

Kinfolk!

(howls) Stampede!

Stampede?

What's a stampede?

Una estampida, a stampede, is when a bunch of animals or even people run away because they're scared.

COOKIE: We got to stop those cows!

You stay here!

Yee-haw!

(Skits and Martha bark) Yee-haw!

Stop yellin' "yee-haw!"

Why?

I thought that's what cowboys did.

Yeah, when we want the cows to move.

We want 'em to stay put.

Sorry.

MARTHA: Hooray!

You did it!

(laughs nervously) At least we covered some extra distance.

You are lodging in the wagon tonight.

In the wagon?

Why?

What did I do?

Howled like a wolf around a cow, that's what.

I won't talk in wolf ever again, I promise.

Shouldn't be talking at all!

It ain't fittin'.

COOKIE: Soon as we eat breakfast, we'll break camp.

(gasps) Martha!

You ate all the food in the chuck wagon!

I did not!

There are still some cans of beans left.

(growls questioningly) I couldn't figure out how to work the can opener.

Why can't I walk with the cows?

Because I don't want you to make them stampede again.

I won't, Helen, I promise.

I've learned my lesson.

(gasps) What's that?

HELEN: A prairie dog.

(laughing): That's no dog.

That's some kind of a squirrel.

Skits!

Squirrel!

Martha!

(barking) You're sure Martha will be all right?

I can't stand that she has to camp off by herself.

MOM: Cookie thinks it's best for the cows, honey.

You're the worst cattle dog I've ever seen.

I know.

You won't hear another word out of me.

Not a peep.

(soft rumble) (Skits whines) I know, Skits, I hear it, too.

Sounds like a thunderstorm.

(thunderclap) Another stampede!

It's not my fault this time.

(thunderclap) (horses whinny) Oh, no!

The lightning spooked the horses, too!

Those cows are going to run right over the cliff.

Cliff?

!

Woof?

What cliff?

There's a cliff up ahead.

The cows won't see it-- they're blind with fear.

They'll go right over.

Skits, help me dig up this stake.

(woofs a question) I think I know a way we can stop those cows.

♪ Whoop-ee ti-yi-yo ♪ ♪ Have a seat, little dogies ♪ ♪ I know your mama don't want you to roam ♪ Look!

The cows are slowing down.

Everybody!

Sing!

ALL: ♪ Whoop-ee ti-yi-yo ♪ ♪ Have a seat, little dogies ♪ ♪ I know your mama don't want you to roam ♪ ♪ Whoop-ee ti-yi-yo ♪ ♪ Rest your feet little dogies ♪ ♪ You know you should make yourself feel right at home.

♪ (mooing) (cheering) COOKIE: Martha, I was wrong about you.

You're the best cattle dog this drive has ever seen.

Aw.

Now, what are the words to that song again?

♪ Whoop-ee ti-yi-yo ♪ ♪ Have a seat, little dogies ♪ ALL: ♪ You know you should make yourself feel right at home.

♪ I've put toget Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org