rage dog ♪ ♪ She went... and... and... ♪ (barking, growls) ♪ When she ate some alphabet soup ♪ ♪ Then what happened was bizarre... ♪ On the way to Martha's stomach, the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain and now... ♪ She's got a lot to say ♪ ♪ Now she speaks... ♪ How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks, yeah, she speaks and speaks ♪ ♪ And speaks and speaks and speaks... ♪ What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪ Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but still that Martha speaks.

♪ Hi, there!

♪ She's got a voice, she's ready to shout ♪ ♪ Martha will tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ Sometimes wrong but seldom in doubt ♪ ♪ Martha will tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ That dog's unique... ♪ Testing, one, two!

♪ Hear her speak ♪ ♪ Martha speaks and speaks ♪ ♪ And speaks and speaks and... ♪ ♪ Communicates, enumerates ♪ ♪ Elucidates, exaggerates ♪ ♪ Indicates and explicates ♪ ♪ Bloviates and overstates and... ♪ (panting) ♪ ...hyperventilates!

♪ ♪ Martha, to reiterate ♪ Martha speaks!

♪ Martha speaks.

♪ (snoring) (loud honk, scream) ALL: Happy Birthday!

What?

It's my birthday?

Yep!

But do dogs even have birthdays?

Well, technically it's the day we brought you home from the animal shelter.

But that's good enough for us.

Well, then it's good enough for me, too!

So, first thing is your favorite breakfast.

MARTHA: All right!

But that's not all.

We have an even bigger sorpresa for you... After I take you to The Doggie Spa.

The Doggie Spa?

We got you the full deluxe deal.

HELEN: First you'll get a thorough massage... Then a good workout to tone those legs... And finally... A mud bath.

Ahhh.

That was the best birthday present ever!

There's one more surprise to come.

MOM and DAD: Ta-da!

HELEN: It's a new doggie bed.

Uh-huh.

I've felt so bad about you having to sleep on that ratty old chair all these years.

It was so old it was practically una antiguedad, an antique!

An antique?

Yeah, you know, an antique is something that's really, really old.

Sometimes an antique is so old, it's worth a lot of money.

So, how do you like it?

(sniffing) It's great.

You don't like it.

(fake enthusiasm): No!

No, I love it!

I really love it.

(sighs sadly) (sighs happily) So how did you sleep last night?

(yawning): Great.

Mm-hmm!

(muffled snoring) HELEN: Martha, you okay?

Wha... huh?

Are you sure you slept well?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

I'm just exhausted from all that celebrating-- whew!

In fact, you know what?

I think I'm going to go outside and get some fresh air.

The garage door isn't open, by any chance, is it?

¿Por qué?

Why?

(snoring) Oh, no reason.

I think Martha misses her chair.

(loud chewing) Martha?

(laughs sheepishly) The chair's not here.

We donated it to the thrift store.

(gasps) Hello, can I help you?

Yes, we donated a chair yesterday.

Donated a chair... MARTHA: Donate!

That means they gave it to your store for free.

(chuckling): I know what "donate" means.

All the furniture here is donated.

I'm just trying to remember... Was it a ratty old thing with drool stains and dog hair all over it?

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Sold it this morning.

ALL: Sold it?

Could you tell us who bought it?

(alarm blares) MRS. DEMSON: Who is it?

Deliveryman with your chair.

MRS. DEMSON: Oh.

(bolts unlocking) I'll need to see some I.D.

(alarm blares) MRS. DEMSON: Who is it?

It's your neighbor, Mariella.

(bolts unlocking) I'll need to see some I.D.

Mrs. Demson, I'm afraid a mistake has been made.

We donated Martha's chair to the thrift store without realizing how important it was to her.

Would it be possible to buy it back from you?

No.

HELEN: No?

But why not?

It's mine to keep, little girl.

I'm giving it to my niece as a wedding present.

But it's a ratty old thing with drool stains and dog hair all over it!

So?

I'll just have the upholstery cleaned.

(screams) Dog!

Off the porch!

Lo siento mucho!

I'm so sorry, Martha.

It's okay.

MRS. DEMSON: I said off!

(alarm beeps) I'll be fine with the new bed.

Really.

It was just that first night.

(snoring) (sighs) Even if I do get my chair back, it won't be the same, not if Mrs. Demson cleans the upholstery.

What's upholstery?

Upholstery is the fabric that covers furniture like chairs and sofas.

So what's wrong with cleaning it?

It's got drool stains and... HELEN: Dog hair all over it, I know.

But that's what Martha loves about it.

(sighs) It's really not worth anything to anybody but Martha.

I wish we could convince Mrs. Demson of that.

(sleepily): ...clean upholstery... You know what?

I have an idea!

I'm awake!

(alarm beeping) Upholstery cleaners.

You're upholstery cleaners?

We're going around the neighborhood trying to earn money for our, uh...

Band camp.

Uniforms.

Candy.

Dance.

Hmm.

Band camp uniforms candy dance.

We want to know if you have any furniture you need cleaned.

Hmm... One covered in dog hair and drool?

Oh, yes, I have one of those.

How much do you charge?

ALL: Well, um, that would... MRS. DEMSON: I'll give you a shiny penny!

No way!

TD!

Oh, right.

A whole penny-- gee whiz!

Maybe I'll bring my TV out on the porch.

I want to make sure I get my money's worth.

TV ANNOUNCER: This program is brought to you by viewers like you.

Hmm, you're welcome.

(Alice imitates the sound of a vacuum) Is she still looking?

Yep.

(imitates vacuum) That stain is still there!

We did what we could, but there's a lot of dog drool there.

Yeah, it's like permadrool.

I don't think you're ever going to get it clean.

Maybe you should just toss it.

Throw it away?

But what am I going to give my niece for a wedding present?

We're just thinking of you, Mrs. Demson.

You wouldn't want to give a wedding present with drool on it, would you?

Well, you could have a point.

I suppose I'll have to pay someone to come and take it away.

We'll take it-- for free.

Really?

KIDS: Yeah, sure!

Well, go ahead.

It's yours.

Yay!

Let's get it out of here, quick.

Wait a minute.

What about our penny?

I'll get my purse.

I don't suppose you have change for a nickel.

Maybe.

APPRAISER (on TV): Well, you are very lucky, because I did some research and that chair is a very rare 1843 Kingstonian.

Any idea how much that would bring in a furniture auction?

Nothing.

$100,000.

(screams) Drop that chair!

ALICE: "What about our penny?"

Sorry, but a deal is a deal.

Spaghetti sauce!

Sorry, dreaming.

What do we do now?

Mrs. Demson will never give us that chair if she thinks she can make a profit from it.

(barks a question.)

Profit?

Profit is the money you make when you sell something.

Mrs. Demson thinks she's going to make a profit off my chair.

A big profit.

She'll be rich.

(barks) Okay by me.

I'll ask.

Is it okay if I give my new bed to Skits?

Sure.

(barks happily) Well, at least one person in this house has profited from all this.

Um, you guys?

You might want to watch this.

So, what do we have here?

An antique chair.

Seems like I've seen one like this before.

MRS. DEMSON (on TV): I raced right down while the show was still on.

Don't tell me, I know it's worth $100,000.

I'm rich!

Rich, I tell you.

Put up the sign.

I'm rich!

ALL: Ewwwww.

Then how did we buy it at Grimble's Department Store?

Actually, the Kingstonian design has been copied a lot.

You can always tell the difference by looking at... the label.

That's how.

So this is... ...a 1995 Grimble's.

You might get ten dollars for it.

ALL: Hooray!

What?

Let me guess, you want money for the ride back, too?

MOM: Mrs. Demson!

Could I just talk to you for a... You!

That chair of yours was worthless.

I hope you're proud of yourself, robbing a poor, old, defenseless lady.

Could I buy it back?

I don't see why not.

Let's see-- ten dollars for the chair, then there's storage fees, labor costs, convenience charges, overtime-- not to mention pain and suffering.

That'll be $100,000.

How about we pay your cab fare?

Deal.

Oh, Martha, I'm so glad we got it back for you!

So, what do you want to do to celebrate?

Well... (yawns) (sniffs) (snores) Hey, folks!

HELEN: Nope.

These can go.

Keep this.

(whimpers) Huh?

Sorry, Skits.

(whimpers) (Mom humming to herself) (whimpering) Whoops!

Careful, Skits.

(whimpering) (yawns) Hi, Skits, what's up?

(barks) Moving?

Who's moving?

What's going on here?

A yard sale?

Mm-hmm.

Alice and TD are bringing some stuff to sell too.

MOM: Qué bueno!

It's a good chance to get rid of a lot of worthless clutter.

Well, I don't know about that.

Saying something's worthless means you can't use it anymore.

But I'm counting on this electric back scratcher to fetch a pretty penny.

You watch.

Hey, I bet Skits and I could sell some things too.

Come on, Skits.

(barks) Wow.

That's a lot of junk.

MARTHA: Dog toys!

Sticks!

Get your dog toys here.

Silent squeak toys!

What's a silent squeak toy?

Skits was chewing his bone and the squeaky part came out.

(hiccups, squeaker squeaks) ALICE: Sure, it works.

Watch.

Duck!

(all yell) (glass shatters) Uh-oh.

(groans) ALICE: Sorry, Mrs. Lorraine!

TD: Well, some of the pieces are missing.

That's okay.

And the spinner's broken.

I don't mind.

And I lost the rules, and someone scribbled on the lid and... And you like it too much to sell it.

Is it okay if I keep it?

Not a problem.

How much for this vampire doll?

Oh, um, let me think.

Hey, Helen, look how much money I made from all that junk!

Me too!

(TD grunting and groaning) TD's the only person who comes away from a yard sale with less money than he started with.

ALICE: And more junk.

And you said nobody would buy that slobbery old stick.

Thanks for lending me the wagon, Mrs. Lorraine.

No hay problema, TD.

I wonder what his mother is going to say.

Rubbish?

Uh, is rubbish something that's really, really valuable?

Nope.

Guess again.

Um... "rubbish" means garbage?

Bingo.

I just hope you didn't pay money for all this junk.

No way.

(sighs) Thank goodness.

I borrowed money to pay for all this junk.

TD... And I bartered for some of it.

Plus, some of the people who came to the sale said they had some chores I could do to make money.

Well, I guess working for it will help you learn the value of things.

What's this?

It's a piece of cloth.

Isn't it cool?

Look at the colors.

Only 50 cents!

(sighs) (TD grunting) How are you doing on those chores, TD?

Almost done.

Hey!

My mom says you can take it.

All right!

DAD: Good work, TD.

Let's load that thing in my car and I'll take it to the junkyard.

I have a better idea.

TD: Is that good?

Just a little bit deeper.

And when you finish there, you can scratch between my shoulders.

It's an awful lot of work for one slobbery stick.

(metallic clunk) TD: Whoa!

Check it out!

Can I have it?

All yours, buddy.

(door slams) (grunting) What's wrong with this door?!

(boxes crash) TD!

Whoa!

It's not as bad as it looks.

We have to talk.

(giggles sheepishly) But it's not that much stuff.

Why do I have to throw it away?

TD, you can't keep everything.

You have to learn to let things go.

That's part of what being a grown-up is about.

OG: Look what I found!

A bent wire!

I get the feeling my timing isn't so hot.

Son, what you're about to see may frighten and terrify you, but I think you're old enough now to see what I'm talking about.

Brace yourself.

That?

It's just Dad's lab.

It's the dictionary definition of clutter.

Come on, it's not that bad, Janice.

"Clutter: a mixed-up pile of junk and useless things."

When she's right, she's right.

There's a lot of junk in here that I haven't figured out how to use.

I'll meet you halfway.

You can keep what you have.

Yes!

If... Uh-oh.

If...?

If you don't bring anything else home.

Agreed?

Okay.

That sounds like a fair deal.

It's great!

What more do I need?

This should be easy as... Holy Sweet Potato Pie!

What?

TD: A shiny rock!

Wow!

HELEN: TD... TD: Right.

Can't collect worthless rubbish.

Can't collect worthless rubbish, can't collect worthless rubbish.

(school bell rings) For our history lesson today, we're going to begin learning about the 1950s.

TD, are you listening?

Yes!

Sorry.

Thank you.

Now to get us in the mood, I thought I'd play a little music from this interesting era.

MAN: ♪ Rock-rock, rock, rock, a-rocka-rocka ♪ ♪ Rock-rock, rock, rock, a-rocka-rocka ♪ ♪ Rock-rock, rock, rock, a-rocka-rocka ♪ ♪ Rock-rock, rock, rock, a-rock-a-rocka ♪ ♪ Rock-rock, rock, rock, a-rock-a-rocka ♪ ♪ Rock-rock, rock, rock, a-rock-a-rocka ♪ (music speeding up): ♪ Rock-rock, rock, rock, a-rock-a-rocka... ♪ (yelling, bell rings) (panting) TD: That was the longest day of my life.

But I got it.

It's mine.

I don't see why you had to have it so much.

I... don't understand.

Why couldn't you just leave it where it was and just, you know, look at it on your way to and from school?

Oh, sure, of course, just leave it there.

So someone else could take it?!

TD, why would Alice want a rock?

Believe me, nobody wants that rock but you.

Hmm, you're right.

But that's what I'm saying.

I'm the only person who likes the things that I like.

I even had a dream about it.

I was throwing away all my stuff when... TD, what are you doing to us?

Discarded toys of youth!

What's the matter?

We'll be so lonely!

To everyone else, they were just worn-out toys and worthless clutter.

I was the one person in the whole world who valued those poor things.

I won't let you go.

Wow!

Some dream.

(sniffling) I guess I never thought of it like that.

If only my mom felt that way.

Okay, rock, we just have to get you to my bedroom and you're home free.

MOM: TD!

Coming.

Hold this here so I can see how it looks.

In a second?

This won't take long.

(sighs) MOM: Higher.

A little more.

Okay.

To the left.

TD, we need to have a talk.

The clutter is too much.

What if there's a fire?

With all this stuff in the way, how long do you think it would take you to get out of here?

Not that long.

(TD grunting, objects clunking) TD: Almost there!

(sighs) That shouldn't count.

Anybody can get lost.

In their own room?

I'm sorry, son, new rule.

Half that clutter has to go.

Half?

Half.

Good-bye, slobbery stick.

Good-bye, tattered mystery cloth.

Good-bye, fake lady for making dresses on.

(sighs) (loud clunking) Whoa!

(crash) Whoa!

Uh-huh.

Son, you belong in the salvage business.

What's salvage?

This is salvage.

Salvage is stuff that's been saved from being thrown in the garbage.

Wait, this isn't the garbage?

Oh, I should say not.

I sell this garbage... uh, these gently pre-used salvaged articles.

Recycling's a good thing.

Now show me what you got.

Ooh, where did you find this?

Bought it at a yard sale.

Why?

HELEN: "This flag was originally sewn by Martha Wagstaff... ...and hung for many years over Wagstaff City Hall."

ALICE: The original flag of Wagstaff City!

Wow!

It's an antique!

"Donated to the Wagstaff City Museum by TD Kennelly."

Isn't it great?

Oh, that's wonderful of TD.

This flag is priceless.

MARTHA: Priceless?

Does that mean it's not worth anything?

No.

When you say something's priceless, you mean that it's really, really valuable.

Nobody would ever want to sell it.

Wow!

Where's TD?

He should be here to see this.

I think he's too busy trying to find out if there are any other priceless objects in his collection.

The collection in his room?

No, he found a better place to keep all his stuff.

Told you guys I wouldn't let you down.

How's this for a new home?

What do you think, Joe?

Priceless?

Worthless?

Uh, maybe a bit of both.

by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org