Martha was an average dog ♪ ♪ She went... and... and... ♪ (barking, growls) ♪ When she ate some alphabet soup ♪ ♪ Then what happened was bizarre... ♪ On the way to Martha's stomach, the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain, and now... ♪ She's got a lot to say ♪ ♪ Now she speaks... ♪ How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks ♪ ♪ Yeah, she speaks and speaks and speaks ♪ ♪ And speaks and speaks... ♪ What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪ Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but still that Martha speaks... ♪ Hi, there.

♪ She's got the voice, she's ready to shout ♪ ♪ Martha will tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ Sometimes wrong, but seldom in doubt ♪ ♪ Martha will tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ That dog's unique... ♪ Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak ♪ ♪ Martha speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks and... ♪ ♪ Communicates, enumerates, elucidates, exaggerates ♪ ♪ Indicates and explicates ♪ ♪ Bloviates and overstates and... ♪ (panting) ♪ Hyperventilates!

♪ ♪ Martha-- to reiterate-- Martha speaks.

♪ (sirens wailing) MARTHA: Step on it!

Faster!

TRUMAN: Yikes!

I can't believe this!

MARTHA: Turn there!

Turn!

MARTHA: Oh, no!

They're catching up!

What now?

ANNOUNCER: Is your cat trying to tell you something?

(cat meows) Oh, they always cut away at the most exciting part.

Those crooks aren't too smart.

It's not going to take long for the cops to catch them.

They always do.

They caught me back then.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, well.

As much fun as this is, those ducks don't bark at themselves.

Heigh-ho.

I'm off to the park.

Huh?

When you were robbing what?!

Stores.

See ya.

You robbed a store?

How did you do that?

You robbed a store?

No.

Oh.

Stores.

I robbed stores.

See ya.

Wait, wait, wait.

This is a joke, right?

You didn't really rob stores, did you?

Well, a museum isn't really a store.

So I guess that one doesn't count.

Fine, I robbed a store.

A museum?

When were you going to tell me this?

Well, it never came up.

But maybe one day I'll write my life story.

And then I'll tell everyone.

You're going to write your autobiography?

Oh, no, my life story.

That's what an autobiography is-- a book someone writes about their own life.

Whoa!

Oh, Truman!

Are you okay?

Uh-huh.

Can I help you write it?

Your autobiography?

Starting with your life in crime?

I guess.

If you don't mind barking at a few ducks first.

(Martha barking) (Truman growling) Get out of here!

Go fly south!

Go molt.

You're not even a monophyletic group.

(barking) Is that enough?

Can we start your autobiography now?

Sure, why not?

Okay, you talk and I'll write.

Let's see now... "My life in crime.

"An autobiography.

By Martha."

(clears her throat) "Copyright.

All rights reserved."

Martha... Yeah?

Just tell me the story.

Okay.

My life in crime.

I was just a puppy, and already I was behind bars.

I was in the animal shelter, waiting to be adopted.

Kazuo was in charge back then, just like he is now.

And a lot of people came through looking for pets.

(people chattering) I need one that fits.

Is that as happy as it gets?

(whimpering) Will her ears grow?

Dude, I think you need a rabbit.

MARTHA: But no one thought I was just right for them.

Back then I couldn't speak.

I hadn't eaten any alphabet soup yet.

I couldn't tell anyone what a great pet I would be.

(whimpering quietly) Don't give up hope, Martha.

There are still lots of possibilities.

Possibilities are things that can happen.

Come on.

There are lots of people who want dogs.

It's possible you might even be a police dog.

MARTHA: A police dog!

I could just imagine it.

(blowing loudly) That's just one possibility.

It's also possible you could be a water rescue dog.

(kids grunting) Yeah!

(whistle blowing) KAZUO: Or it's possible you could go and live with a family in a bowling alley.

(ball rolling, pins crashing) KAZUO: Where you can put your keen sense of smell to good use.

(sniffing) Those possibilities sounded great.

But none of them were what I really wanted.

What I really, really, really wanted was...

Wait-- slow down.

Let me catch up.

"What I yearned for was..." Oh, I didn't say "yearned."

I said "I really, really wanted."

But that's what "yearn" means.

To really, really want something.

Oh.

Good.

So none of that was what I yearned for.

I yearned for a home and a family of my own.

Then, suddenly, things began to look really promising.

A cat?

Sure, we've got plenty of cats.

Come on.

Right this way.

HELEN: Hi!

(barks brightly) What's your name?

MOM: Helen, mira.

Oh, isn't he cute?

I guess.

(panting excitedly) Look at this one.

Does she have a name?

That's Martha.

Martha!

But honey, that's not a cat.

She's better than a cat.

MARTHA: This, I knew, was a girl after my own heart.

Let's adopt her.

Oh, Helen, we already discussed this, don't you recall?

Dogs require an awful lot of care.

Yes, but...

Lo siento.

I'm sorry, Helen.

Martha looks very sweet, but a puppy is just too much right now.

Suddenly things didn't look so promising.

And they were about to get worse... A lot worse.

Excuse us, do you work here?

Uh... yeah?

Carlotta Bumblecrumb.

My card.

Cool.

What can I do for you, Ms. Crumblebum?

That's Bumblecrumb.

I'm here to adopt a dog this big-- about the size of a shoebox.

Exactly.

(dog barking) (whimpering) Hmm.

Mmm, this one looks promising.

And when I say you look promising, I mean I think you'll work out just right.

Yes, I believe this one holds great promise.

"Martha."

Can Martha be trained?

Trained to do what?

None of your business!

I-I mean...

I recall that in my youth I owned a dog who did tricks, and ever since those days, I've yearned for another.

Hmm, why does she need to be the size of a shoebox?

So I can push the mutt through a hole about...

I mean, it's because I've already built a tiny doghouse.

Yes, built it out of a shoebox, and I need a pooch that will fit inside.

You know she's going to grow, though, right?

No problemo.

I'll build a bigger doghouse.

So, how much do you want for her?

Ma'am, we don't charge you to adopt a pet.

(Martha whimpering) But, uh, Martha hasn't had all her shots yet.

Yeah, I just recalled that.

So, like, you'll have to come back, like, maybe in a few weeks.

I see.

Yes, of course.

Ta-ta, sweet cheeks.

Mama will be back before long.

Whew!

MARTHA: I didn't have to go with that lady.

But still I was alone.

And it was dark.

And I was scared by every little sound.

(dog howling) (other dogs barking and howling) I didn't get much sleep back then.

HELEN: But Mom, I promise I'll take care of the puppy.

Pretty please?

That's what you said about Goldie.

¿Lo recuerdas?

Do you recall what happened to her?

I thought goldfishies would like to swim in the lake.

I didn't know she wouldn't come back.

Please?

Helen, we've been over this.

A dog is una gran responsabilidad.

You need to wash them, walk them...

I'll wash her.

I'll walk her.

Please, please, please, please, please?

TRUMAN: Hang on.

You weren't there.

How can you narrate that part?

Narrate?

"Narrate" is when you tell a story.

You were in the animal shelter when this part of the story was happening.

How can you narrate things you didn't see?

Helen told me.

She narrated it to me.

Oh.

Okay.

Whose autobiography is this, anyway?

Sorry, go ahead.

How do you spell "Martha"?

Oh, she's got me.

Pleading and begging I can fight off, but I'm no match for this.

What?

You mean...?

Que sí, you can have Martha.

Thank you!

Yay!

Whew!

We better go first thing in the morning.

KAZUO: Guess what, Martha?

You're being adopted!

MARTHA: Those were the sweetest words I had ever heard!

Here she is, your new owner.

Yes!

That little red-haired girl came back for me.

Or so I thought.

Martha, say hello to your new owner, Miss Eudora Biddlecomb.

Oh, hello, you sweet little poochie.

We are going to be such good pals, you and I. Ohh...

I knew I liked you before.

Before?

Uh, uh, before I came in.

I had a feeling I'd like what I see here.

And I was right.

I'm going to love owning you.

There we go.

Good poochie.

(barking) Quiet!

Ha!

Surprised to see me again, ain't ya?

Well, you're mine now, and tomorrow you start working for me.

Home!

(whimpers) (Martha gulps) Of all the promising possibilities I had yearned for, this was not how I thought I'd end up.

MARTHA: So there I was, trapped in that limo with a pair of crooks.

I was never going to see Helen again.

Whoa!

I never knew any of that happened to you.

That's shocking.

Yeah, it is.

(groans and sighs) Well, it's been fun sitting around reminiscing, Truman, but I better be getting home.

What?

Wait!

What do you mean?

"Reminiscing" means thinking and talking about things that happened in the past.

For example, I've been reminiscing about...

I know what "reminiscing" means.

Then what's the matter?

You can't stop reminiscing now.

You've been kidnapped.

Right, but it's almost dinnertime.

I can tell you the rest some other day.

No, you can't.

You can't leave a guy hanging like that.

I have to know how your story ends.

(sighs) Well, I guess I can stay a little longer.

If you really want to hear...

Please!

You have to tell me.

Okay, well, I wasn't the only one who was unhappy.

She's gone?

Ah, I'm sorry.

Martha!

(sniffles) MARTHA: Meanwhile, those crooks had taken me to their warehouse.

Rise and shine, pooch.

Time to begin your training.

Okay, dog, now pay close attention.

See this bally?

When I throw it, you're going to fetch it.

Got that?

Fetch the bally.

Fetch the bally!

Go on!

Go on, pooch!

Fetch!

Fetch the bally!

Fetch?

(pleading): Fetch it?

Oh!

Show this mutt how it's done.

Go on, Mr. Stubble.

Fetch the bally!

Fetch it!

Oh!

(panting) Good boy!

Who's a good boy, Mr. Stubble?

Fetch the bally, Mr. Stubble.

That's a good boy!

I wished I had a cookie, too.

And fetching looked like it could actually be kind of fun.

Excellent!

Good fetch!

Still, I wondered.

What were those two really up to?

It didn't take long to find out.

(grunts) Shh!

Here it is, Mr. Stubble.

For the nostalgic sports fan: thousands of dollars in rare collectible junk.

And soon it will be ours!

(laughs) In you go.

You see, Mr. Stubble?

Perfect fit.

Now, fetch the bally.

(sniffing) Fetch!

(alarm wailing) (yips) Yes!

Good dog!

Now bring the bally here.

No, no, no!

Fetch the bally!

Fetch it!

Bring the bally back here!

(barks) (gasps) (alarm continues wailing) Here you go.

Come here with the bally.

Nice dog, nice dog, nice dog.

Aha!

Got you, you mangy mutt!

(ball squishing) Got it.

(disgusted): Oh!

Come on, let's get out of here.

(tires screeching) (police siren wailing) Nervous Ned?

Yeah?

H-h-how did you know?

Just a guess.

(snaps fingers) Here.

I have the item we discussed.

A genuine 1938 baseball signed by Babe Ruth.

Nice work, Stumblebum.

Bumblecrumb.

Hey, wait a minute.

This don't say "Babe Ruth."

It says "Blagghh Rummff."

It just has a little dog drool on it, that's all.

This ball is worth a small fortune.

Yeah, well... Maybe next time, huh?

Then how about an autographed pooch?

See, her tongue says "Babe Ruth"... uh, backwards.

A perfect plan, ruined by dog drool.

Oh!

I had aspirations, you know.

Huh?

Aspirations, Mr. Stubble, aspirations.

Aspirations are things you really want to do.

I aspired to be rich.

But here I am, wearing cheap plastic bangles.

It ain't fair!

(coughing) What is it?

"Wagstaff City is proud to welcome Jingles, "the famous cat from the Krazy Kitty Kat Food commercials, "who will be staying at our own Come-On-Inn for the next three days."

That fat cat is worth millions!

I wish I could get my hands on him.

And maybe I can.

(whimpers) (whispering) Okay, Mr. Stubble, here's what we'll do.

I'll pretend to be Room Service with some free cream for the pussycat and a little surprise, too.

Room service.

Oh, goody goody!

Please come in.

BUMBLECRUMB: Here we are, kitty.

A nice yummy treat, just for... YOU!

(barks) (meows) Go!

Chase the cat!

Chase the... Oh, never mind.

Stubble!

Now!

(Stubble grunting) What are you doing?

Get out from under there!

(screaming and grunting) (Jingles growling) (screeches) (yelling, banging, barking) And that's just one reason why cats are not my favorite people.

I can't believe it!

I had no idea you had such an amazing background.

I do?

Who knew?

Your background is all the things that have happened to you before this.

Oh.

I do have a pretty interesting background.

What happened then?

Well, after that, we went back to the hideout.

(ball bouncing) Bah!

When I reflect on my life, Mr. Stubble.... Huh?

Oh, "reflecting" means thinking really carefully about something.

When I reflect on my life, I often wonder where I went wrong.

Somewhere in my background, something went awry.

TV ANNOUNCER: And now, the Museum Network presents Dinosaurs on Display.

Oh, who cares about a bunch of dusty old bones?

Ooh!

(whispering) (chuckling): That's it!

We've been going about this all wrong.

The pooch should be doing what dogs do naturally: fetching bones.

There it is, Mr. Stubble.

No more reminiscing about the past.

The past is about to make us very rich.

I'm going to steal that dinosaur, even if I have to do it one bone at a time.

Okay, pooch.

Your job is very simple.

Fetch the bones.

Got that?

(barking eagerly) Fetch the bones.

BUMBLECRUMB: No, turn this way.

No, no, wait.

Lift your leg up.

No, no, other leg!

Turn around.

Hold still!

(disgusted): I'll do it.

(whimpering) Fetch the bones, pooch!

Fetch!

(rumbling) (gasps) (screaming) (alarm beeping) Get me out of this!

OFFICER: What on earth?!

It's alive!

(barks) (both gasp) (barking) You know, there's something odd about those cave people.

(sneezes) You're going to jail for a long, long time, Fumblethumb.

I do wish someone would get this right.

It's Bumblecrumb!

Bumblecrumb!

Sorry, girl, we have to take you to the animal shelter.

MOM: What about this one?

She's almost the same color as Martha.

What do you think?

I guess.

You could name her Martha.

You think we could train her to fetch?

Well... Hey, can you give me a hand with the groceries?

Groceries?

You bought groceries?

Sure.

Don't you recall?

I said I might go by there on the way home from work?

Ahh!

And I need some help.

Well, that's terrific.

Claro que sí.

Helen, you can come help, too.

Okay.

There aren't any groceries.

(gasps) Martha!

You got her!

You got Martha!

Yay!

Martha, you're home at last.

MARTHA: And it was true.

I was home.

So that's your background.

And in the end, all of your aspirations came to be.

That's right.

It was everything I ever could have hoped for.

Me too.

Helen!

Now, if you're done writing your autobiography, dinner is waiting.

MARTHA: Race you!

(all shouting happily) Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org