VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts... Alright, fair enough.

It's a really cute subject.

VO: ..behind the wheel of a classic car.

NATASHA (NRS): Make it so.

MARGIE: Here we go.

VO: And a goal to scour Britain for antiques.

Frankly terrifying.

VO: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

I've lost money!

VO: There'll be worthy winners... Get in there!

VO: ..and valiant losers.

Could have been worse.

VO: Will it be the high road to glory?

Ooh.

VO: Or the slow road to disaster?

Ugh!

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip!

Oh yes!

VO: Say hello to Scotland!

Let's see the lowlands, with a couple of antiques-loving lasses.

NRS: Margie, it's our first time together.

I know.

NRS: What do you think, sister solidarity?

Are we going to be cheering one another on?

Course we are!

(BOTH LAUGH) VO: Yes, our woman at the wheel is Margie Cooper.

Alongside navigator Natasha Raskin Sharp.

Forests to our right, the Clyde to our left.

MARGIE: How lucky are we?

(SNIFFS) It's good for you, it's good for you.

VO: Yeah, it certainly is.

Especially with £200 each and a 1960s Mercedes 190SL at your disposal.

What a dream.

MARGIE: I feel quite cool in this, do you?

NRS: Every single person that we've passed has stopped and stared.

NRS: Look at that car!

And of course, they might think we're continental, cos it's left-hand drive... (BOTH LAUGH) VO: It's also not got any seatbelts, having being manufactured before they were compulsory.

MARGIE: Oh, look at the sunshine over there!

So is that Glasgow over there?

Um, sure.

(BOTH LAUGH) It looks good.

VO: Born and bred just a few miles from here, Natasha's an auctioneer... NRS: This painting is a beauty.

VO: ..with a fondness for art of all kinds, while dealer Margie is from Cheshire.

(BLOWS WHISTLE) Oh, crikey!

VO: Gets a real blast out of silver though!

Ha!

And hill starts.

Gear engaged, handbrake off.

Make it so.

Here we go!

(REVVING) NRS: Aw, like a pro!

Like a pro... MARGIE: Come on, keep going, keep going, keep going!

VO: Their journey begins at Balfron Station, taking in the sights and sounds of Glasgow, and then aims to Ayrshire.

Before plunging further south, taking in the Lakes and Lancashire, before their fifth and final auction in Shropshire.

BOTH: Whee!

MARGIE: Whee!

VO: Today's opening sally commences in the foothills of the Trossachs... oh, I love that word ..and sees plenty of Scotland's most populous city, before wending towards an auction in Dumfries.

I like that word too.

VO: But first, having deposited her chum... Wow.

Take a breath of that!

..Margie gets first dibs.

MARGIE: Here we are!

VO: In this delightful spot.

Right, it is this way, isn't it?

VO: Just follow the signs.

You can't miss it.

Very traditional, this Country Homes Antiques place.

Hard to take it all in.

VO: Quite.

With £200 just itching to be disbursed.

This is a very nice oak Scottish arts and crafts chair.

And I think you could attribute the design to a man called George Walton, Scottish architect.

Educated at the Glasgow School of Art.

Born in the mid 19th century.

It's not the sort of chair that you want to sit on really.

VO: This style of chair is based on a 17th century design called a caquetoire.

MARGIE: £650.

Can't afford it.

I probably would buy it if I could afford it.

So I've got to leave it here.

VO: Fair enough.

Now, thinking of things Glasgow, let's catch up with young Natasha, down beside the Clyde, in her home town.

Does that give her a bit of an unfair advantage?

Well, we'll soon find out.

VO: Good idea.

Definite nip in the air.

Looks like there's also plenty of choice at Glasgow City Antiques.

NRS: It's quite exciting, searching for the first find.

Because with the first buy, you sort of set the bar.

So, need to make it a goodie.

VO: Well, let's grasp the nettle then.

NRS: What on earth is that?

VO: Could be a bit of a "corker", don't you think?

NRS: What is that?

Do you sit on that?

VO: Oh yes!

If you want to do any "corking", that is.

Oh, that's so cool.

I genuinely didn't see a label and thought...

I was gonna say, like, is this some sort of antique slicer?

But look, an antique bottle corker.

Imagine... Oh!

Yeah, I was just about to wax on about all the bottles that have been corked by this.

But yeah, I'm just gonna...

I'm just going to step away.

VO: Good idea.

NRS: Yeah, mm-hm.

VO: Something a bit smaller perhaps?

Oh, that's cool.

That is just classic aesthetic movement.

What even is that?

From afar, you're thinking, is that some kind of a vase?

And when you get close up to it, is it maybe some sort of candle holder?

It's very reminiscent of something that the wonderful Christopher Dresser would have designed for Ault Pottery at the end of the 19th century.

VO: Indeed.

Dr Christopher Dresser did design glass for the Clutha glassworks in Glasgow.

NRS: Who even knows what the function is?

But just what the aesthetic movement was all about - art for art's sake.

Making things to just show off your flare for design.

And at 48, if I have a punt and try it for about 35, I think that could genuinely have a chance at auction.

VO: Sounds like she's off and running then.

Anything else 'afore ye haggle?

NRS: This frame is really attractive.

Very turn of the century, it's very arts and crafts.

These lovely little almost quatrefoil flowers here in the corners are gorgeous.

It has many hand-carved motifs that make this really attractive.

But then, you look at the base, and it says "Auld Lang Syne".

It's a beautiful Scottish piece.

And what it's not meant to be, I don't think, is a mirror.

And if it was meant to be a mirror, it wasn't meant to be that mirror.

It is brand new.

I think it would've been a frame maybe for something like a woolwork sampler.

With the whole poem, Auld Lang Syne - should auld acquaintance be forgot and ne'er brought to mind.

VO: Not forgetting the ticket price.

£60.

NRS: And for goodness' sake, we're going to the Borders.

You know, we're going to Dumfries.

And Robert Burns lived in Dumfries.

VO: Crikey, we have a list!

Over to our shopkeeper.

Counting the spoons.

John, may I interrupt?

I saw that this vessel, vase, candle holder, whatever it is, was on the stand of a woman called Sheila.

But I was wondering if you think Sheila would let me have a bash at £35?

I'll do better than that for you.

You can do better?

Yes.

I'll give you it for £30.

Are you sure?

VO: Course he is!

NRS: OK. And there is something else.

It's a mirror, but I don't think it's meant to be a mirror.

I think it's a travesty, given the beautiful nature of the frame.

Yeah.

Which will explain my offer... of 30, which is 50%.

It's too cheeky, it's too cheeky.

You can't do it.

What can you do...?

Could do 40.

You could do 40?

I'm up for it.

40 and 30 makes 70... No problem at all.

VO: Now, while Natasha takes her goods and goes... ..let's get back to Balfron Station, where Margie's still hunting for her first bit of treasure.

MARGIE: Oh, look at that.

Isn't that sweet?

What is it?

Oh, it's bog oak.

Now bog oak, that's probably thousands and thousands and thousands of years old.

That lovely sheen.

It's like fossilized wood.

It comes from Ireland.

It's got little shamrocks on it, and it's got the Irish harp on it.

It's like a little witch's cauldron.

Suits me!

(SHE LAUGHS) Many would say.

VO: Surely not!

No price ticket though.

Andrew.

ANDREW: Yes.

MARGIE: Can I... VO: Here we go.

..have you for a moment?

Uh-huh.

I just want to know how much it is really, I love it.

It has got £50 on it.

I'll take 35.

35?

Yeah, and you should do well at auction with that, I think.

VO: Swiftly done.

Right.

Well, can I put that on one side?

Yeah, you can.

Indeed... Cuz I've seen something else.

Have you?

MARGIE: Yeah.

ANDREW: Wow!

After you.

VO: She has been busy.

MARGIE: Just round the corner here.

I was drawn to the label, which is £28.

ANDREW: Yeah.

And then I saw a set of three.

Yeah, interesting, yeah... And then I realized that it's Murano, isn't it?

Yes.

VO: The famous Venetian island, where they've been making glass for over 700 years.

MARGIE: We've got three.

What are they, little bon bon dishes or whatever they are?

They're really nice.

And two little ones to go with it.

What do you think, 1930s?

ANDREW: 1930s, yes... Mm-hm.

And it says here, set of three.

£28, that's right... Yeah.

Is that looking good?

Yeah, alright, I'll give you them for £20, for the three of them.

Oh my goodness!

VO: Indeed.

Just 55 with the little cauldron.

MARGIE: And the other one.

Yeah.

And you haven't spent much money which is even better...

I haven't!

(BOTH LAUGH) VO: And with that, her work is done.

Time to fire up the Merc, and make a smooth... smooth-ish departure.

VO: While we head towards Glasgow again, and the river which was in many respects the source of the city's industrial might.

Because, as recently as the middle of the last century, these docks would have been teeming with trade and with the shipbuilding for which the Clyde was renowned.

But when that business went into steep decline, Glasgow found another claim to fame thanks to the workers from the Indian subcontinent.

Dr Saqib Razzaq of Colourful Heritage explains.

DR RAZZAQ: South Asians have had a really long connection with Glasgow itself, and particularly the docks, because I think from around about the 18th and 19th century, lascars - which were the seamen - who would come over from places like Malaysia.

Glasgow was known as the second city of the empire at one point.

I know that around about the turn of the century, there were small colonies of the lascars beginning to stay.

VO: By the 1940s, those tiny numbers had grown to some 400.

But first World War II and then India's independence and subsequent partition was to change all that.

DR RAZZAQ: There was a plan of a couple of years ..and then go back again.

And they were able to do this through the profession of peddling, which is going door to door, selling items in a suitcase.

Mm.

So they were able to integrate faster and they then moved on to other businesses such as shops and restaurants.

VO: Yes, Glasgow's Indian and Pakistani-owned eateries made it something of a curry capital.

And Natasha's next port of call is one of the city's oldest.

NRS: Asif, hello!

NRS: How are you?

ASIF: I'm well.

How are you?

Please, come on in.

VO: The story of the Shish Mahal starts with Asif's grandfather, who came from Pakistan to work in the Glasgow shipyards.

NRS: OK. Oh, thank you.

VO: But it was his son Ali who created the dish which has come to symbolize the community's integration.

ASIF: Chicken tikka masala, it's a Glaswegian curry.

Now... Can you say that with some confidence, 100%?

Yes.

Because it was invented by my father, right?

That's quite a claim.

Yeah.

It was a dark January rainy Monday night.

And at the time he had an ulcer.

Starting a new business, whatnot.

So he was in the kitchen and he was having some tomato soup.

And because it's condensed, he only took half and half was still in the tin.

So a customer came, a bus driver, and must've had a bad day.

So the chicken curry went out and he sent it back and he says it's too dry, and flavorless.

So Dad says "put the tomato soup in it and give it to him".

So it went back out and he absolutely loved it.

Next day, came again, brought his friends.

So the soup was only used for maybe two or three times until we decided to isolate the ingredients.

And that's how the chicken tikka masala was born.

VO: In the over 50 years since that eureka moment, Glasgow's South Asians have played a huge role in the city's story.

NRS: What he expected to do was, as you say, make some money and go back.

But what he found was opportunity.

Well, actually, what he found was home.

Glasgow turned into a home that I doubt could've happened anywhere else.

Because the weather was cold, but the people were warm.

I couldn't put it better myself.

VO: Indeed.

Ooh!

Ha!

Think of all that spring lamb bhuna.

Baaa!

Mm, delicious!

There's Margie in her Merc, now also going to Glasgow.

Well, fingers crossed, eh?

Hey!

Stop messing about!

VO: That's told her!

Penny for your thoughts, Margie?

So it's nice to have a female opponent, it's the first time in all the years I've been doing the Road Trip.

But I think, to be honest with you - and I'm sure she'd agree - that it's going to be more about the trip than who wins.

VO: Well, we'll see about that.

Remember, Margie already has a couple of purchases under her belt.

With £145 still left to spend at Finnieston Antiques.

All very "figurative" in here, isn't it?

Oh, he's lovely, isn't he?

You want to touch him.

VO: Steady on.

Trunk up!

Always a good sign.

Hehe!

Any more wildlife?

MARGIE: Hm, I'm quite drawn to this little thing.

Sort of like an onyx-y base.

I rather hope that he might be a bronze little Scottish dog.

But looking at his little ear there, you can see that white metal.

If you scraped bronze, you wouldn't get that color, which means it's spelter.

But it's still attractive.

VO: Don't try scratching it in the shop.

Yours for £30.

Oh, that'd look quite nice on a desk, wouldn't it?

You might not do very well, and then I'll be really cross.

Oh look, he's even got a little tongue, look!

He's got a little tongue.

VO: That pup's as good as bought, you know.

And dealer Mo has something more.

Ah!

So you've found out I like silver.

This looks nice.

Beautifully engraved.

Is there work in it...?

Yes, there's lots of work.

Yeah, look at that.

And this is such nice condition too.

MO: It's nice.

MARGIE: For little tiny cheroots there really, or little tiny... MO: Yeah, cigarettes, yeah.

MARGIE: Cigarettes.

And even the elastic's there.

And hallmarks always stay crisp when they're inside something.

Probably 120 years old.

And those are as crisp as the day they were stamped in.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm glad I came.

Right, and how much is it?

I have 45 on it... Yeah.

So 35 will do it?

Yeah, that's fine.

Oh, thank you very much indeed.

That's great, I'll give you some money.

And then we'll add on the little dog in there?

MO: That's... VO: It was the tongue what did it.

65 for the two.

Thank you.

Enjoy.

Bye!

Thank you very much.

VO: And now, as the Glasgow gloaming gets going, it's time for our trippers to bring their day to a close in the best way possible... NRS: Did someone order... MARGIE: Fabulous!

..chicken tikka masala?

VO: ..by stuffing their faces.

Now hold on, remind me, you like this really spicy... That's fine.

..it's extra chili.

Oh, it's not, is it?

No, it's really mild.

VO: Night night, girls!

VO: Next day, it may be parky on the peaks, but things are awfully cozy in the car.

NRS: I've often thought that you would be an amazing agony aunt.

You have such a lovely way about you and you're so warm and friendly.

Do they still exist, agony aunts?

Oh, hold on.

Oh!

Oh, what does that mean?

Oh!

(BOTH LAUGH) Dear Auntie Margie, I don't know how to drive.

Can you help me?

VO: Well, she can certainly teach us all a thing or two about getting off to a quick start - with a pen and a pooch set, some Murano glass, a silver cigarette case and a bog oak cauldron already acquired.

Suits me!

(SHE LAUGHS) VO: Leaving her with £80 to spend today.

While Natasha, having so far plumped for an oak frame with an aesthetic movement style candle stick, possibly... What even is that?

VO: ..has £130 still available, as well as any amount of advice.

NRS: But I feel like you're going to need a wee bit of patter with the Scottish dealers.

Yeah, go ahead.

So when you go in with your deal and...

Right.

..say something's £40... and you say "let me have it for 25" and they say "no, it has to be 40..." Yeah?

..hit them with a bit of "och, away!"

Och, away!

Och, away with you!

MARGIE: Och, away with you!

NRS: Yeah!

VO: Cor, she'll be fluent in no time, that girl.

Later, they'll be off to that auction in Dumfries.

But the first stop today is in Coatbridge.

Which, before giving us the lead singer to the pop group The Marmalade, was an industrial powerhouse, famous for the production of iron, coal and steel.

Nowadays they have Furniture Fusion.

Sounds a bit like a band.

Natasha, however, is going solo.

Furniture Fusion.

What's that all about?

VO: I'm sure they said that about The Marmalade!

Meet proprietor Rob.

NRS: Hello?

Oh, hello... Hello.

Oh... NRS: Hi there.

ROB: Hi, Natasha.

NRS: Yes, nice to meet you.

ROB: Rob.

NRS: How are you today?

ROB: Lovely.

VO: Now, Natasha, of course, still has quite a bit to buy.

Not that she'll be panicking just yet.

How out of date is that?

A piece of Beswick that is undeniably sort of '60s or '70s.

And people absolutely loved them.

They mainly loved the farmyard animals, the horses and the cattle and the like.

But this is kind of cool because it's a monkey smoking a pipe.

And it does not get more un-PC than that.

And do you know what?

In fully lovely condition, it's worth about 25, £30 at auction.

But unfortunately this one just has a few chips and cracks.

I think the monkey's whole hand has come off at one point.

And the pipe is broken.

But that just harks back to a different era.

VO: Sorry, sir.

This woman knows what she likes.

When I came in the shop and I saw Rob, I clocked behind him these really cool vessels.

But I don't know where they're from.

It's the kind of thing... Obviously, they're just made by somebody.

VO: Yeah, a nomad in the desert, for water.

So the pieces of metal are kind of welded together, and you can see that that's brass there.

And then there's brass here.

I don't actually think that has any holes.

But this one, which is undeniably the cuter vessel... Just, does it have any holes?

Mm-hm, there is a wee hole, a wee bit of light shining through.

But do you know what?

It doesn't matter.

We're buying them because they look cool.

Their price is unknown so I must get Rob.

VO: He's keeping busy.

Cor.

Rob, could I borrow you for a wee sec?

Course you can, course you can.

Thank you very much.

I saw these behind you when I came in...

Yes.

..and they are really catching my eye.

ROB: They're lovely.

NRS: I was imagining, you know, hung from a camel or something.

Exactly.

A Lawrence of Arabia.

Yeah.

NRS: I don't really know what you want for them, there's no price on them.

No.

Well, for the two, I could do those for 20 for you.

Yeah, go on.

ROB: Lovely.

NRS: Two for 20.

VO: And that, I think, is that.

Right, I'll grab these.

Excellent.

They're lovely.

Oh, I hope I do alright.

Yeah, well I'm sure you will.

They're lovely pieces.

Such a fair price, Rob.

Absolutely.

Well, I do my best.

Cheery-bye!

VO: And so, without further ado...

Right, OK. Oh, the sun is still shining!

VO: ..she's off to shop!

NRS: If you can't find it, grind it.

VO: While we found out what Margie's got up to.

Taking a brief break from business of rummaging to explore her more romantic side.

VO: Lordy.

Yes, Margie's made her way towards Ayrshire and Eglinton Castle... ..to find out about a Victorian aristocrat who wanted to revive the age of chivalry.

Ah, Lesley!

I'm Margie.

Margie, pleasure to meet you.

Welcome to Eglinton.

And you too.

Thank you very much.

VO: Lesley Forsyth, from North Ayrshire Council, knows all about the fortunes of this ruined castle's former residents.

LESLEY: Well, the Montgomery family have been a major, major family in Scottish history for about 800 years.

The very first Montgomery was Roger, back in the 11th century.

A friend of William the Conqueror.

And he'd been, you know, with him through battles.

He acquired some titles, he acquired some land.

We've had alliances with Mary Queen of Scots who actually came here to the castle for tea as she passed through en route down to Ayr.

So they were so powerful and successful - so how has it come to a ruin like this?

Well, they were indeed a really powerful family.

But the 13th earl, who is probably the most flamboyant and the one that's most remembered, kind of grew up with money, and was very... MARGIE: Mm.

..demanding on the money and on the estate, and drew frequently from the coffers.

He was keen to hark back to an age of romanticism.

MARGIE: Yeah.

He didn't like where the world was going and really appreciated the writings of Walter Scott, for example - was very much harking back to happier times and times gone by.

VO: Archibald William Montgomery was also a staunch Tory who had railed against the so-called penny coronation of Queen Victoria in 1838.

Cost-cutting measures by a Whig government of which the earl and his friends could not approve.

So, in part to upstage his political rivals, he set about re-enacting a grand medieval tournament on his Ayrshire estate.

LESLEY: And he brought in various friends from all over Europe to actually be part of that jousting tournament.

They met in London, had a bit of a practice.

They had to try and get armor fitted.

But it was a real line in the sand time... MARGIE: Yeah.

LESLEY: ..in terms of stating...

It was making a huge point.

He was making a point, exactly.

VO: And so, in 1839, the Montgomery family fortunes were lavished on plans for something that could have galloped out of the pages of Ivanhoe.

LESLEY: Archibald was keen that it was going to be a success.

MARGIE: Mm?

LESLEY: He made it a free event.

He originally thought there'd be about 4,000, something like that would come.

But it was oversubscribed by about three times that.

So did everything go to plan on the day?

Well, it didn't quite go to plan.

It was just typical.

It was Scotland, it was August, it was raining.

It was thunder, it was lightning.

There was downpours.

Oh, no.

There was a little bit of an event.

And sadly... the second day, any event was called off.

MARGIE: Oh, what a shame.

LESLEY: By Friday though, there was a little bit of blue sky, and they actually managed to... to have something for the people to be able to watch.

VO: Although the Earl's Westminster foes were exultant at such a damp squib, these contemporary illustrations seem to have censored the Scottish weather.

The Eglinton tournament did have a huge influence on popular culture, inspiring Victorian romanticism and the sort of re-enactments we see today.

MARGIE: They're not messing about, are they?

They're not.

They're really going for it.

Oh my goodness me.

Ooh!

VO: Some of them more realistic than others.

MARGIE: It all looks a bit dangerous.

Did they do it for real at this tournament?

To a certain degree, you are doing it for real.

I mean, the weapons are real, even though they're using blunts.

Yeah?

Em, but you take a whack off one of these weapons, you're still going to get hurt.

Yeah.

I'm a bit tempted to have go.

Would you like to have a go?

Yeah, as long as you don't hurt me.

I don't... Oh, you'll be fine!

VO: Well done, Margie!

Now get the clobber on, girl, and we can party like its 999!

Right.

So I'm going to take a guard position.

Yes.

Your job is to get me with the pointy end.

Right.

VO: Well, that couldn't be much clearer, could it?

Right, OK!

VO: Nice one.

Oh!

He's ready for me.

VO: Certainly is.

MARGIE: Oh God!

VO: Now she's leading him on.

That's too heavy for... VO: Now, look out.

Get out of it.

Right!

VO: Oh dear!

Margie - ooh!

Got him in the heart.

Now finish him off!

Finish him off, right!

VO: Oh, she's going to, too.

And she has!

VO: Crikey!

(CHEERING) VO: Looks like we have a new champion.

The Lady Margie, Duchess of Cheshire.

That's it, I've done it.

VO: But now, the concluding part of our little saga.

Who killed the castle?

LESLEY: The tournament itself cost the family about £40,000 to host.

Yeah.

Which is about £4 million in today's standards, so for any... Mm.

..family, that was a big drain on their budget.

They were in dire straits.

And by 1925, they had entirely moved out of Eglinton Castle and took the roof off for tax purposes.

I don't know if he could've foreseen that at the time when he had the great idea to have the tournament.

But it was kind of the beginning of the end for the family's fortunes, despite having built up great wealth over their 800 years.

Yeah, but we are still talking about it, aren't we?

VO: Nothing succeeds like excess!

Right.

Now, let's hear from Margie's buddy, find out how it feels to be at the wheel.

NRS: Second gear.

Let's give it a bash.

No.

First gear?

VO: She seems to have quite a lot on her plate right now.

Yeah!

VO: What with the left hand drive and everything.

NRS: This is all flat now so I'm going to try second.

There we go, there we go.

Right, what am I supposed to be talking about?

VO: Oh, never mind.

It'll keep.

Natasha's on her way to the village of Kilbarchan, and the last shop of the day.

Arriving just before Margie, hopefully.

She still has £110 left to spend at Gardner Antiques.

Hello.

Oh, hi.

David, how are you?

Hello.

Nice to see you, yes.

It's lovely to see you.

How are things?

Super, thank you.

Yeah.

VO: Super shop, that's for sure.

Still, super chilly too, even on the inside.

Look at that.

This is classic antique shop.

That's when you know you're in a good place.

VO: Yes, there's an awful lot of it in here that's going to be beyond her budget.

NRS: Now, I think I can say with a quiet confidence - although I'm not entirely sure - that that's a Borzoi breed of dog.

Which is cool, because that was a breed that was, for whatever reason, really popular in the art deco period, so sort of '20s, '30s.

VO: Also known as a Russian Wolfhound.

"Borzoi" is Russian for "fast".

NRS: The box itself is not the sturdiest thing I've ever seen.

I mean, you could put anything in it, but it was probably cigarettes, I would imagine.

I can see quite clearly that that's not a transfer printed picture of a Borzoi, it's painted on by hand.

It's signed Jan.

Probably "yan", cos it's probably continental.

But I think it's too good an opportunity to miss because people go bonkers for certain breeds.

So... What was it again?

34.

I think I'll have a bash at that actually.

It's just the kind of thing... (BELLS TOLL) Oh!

Yeah, that's a good sign.

The clock says go for it, go for it, girl!

VO: Ah, here she is, look.

Fresh from all that swashing and buckling.

Hope she's not badly bruised.

£80 left in the Cooper coffers, remember.

MARGIE: Hello, hello, hello.

What are these you're looking at?

NRS: I never know how they work, the puzzle jugs.

I don't really get them.

So I think the idea is that you fill it with water.

Mm-hm.

And then you take your finger away.

The spiffing wheeze is you let go and they get water all over their feet.

Is that right?

A spiffing wheeze?

I do fancy a spiffing wheeze, I don't know about you.

Yeah.

Meet my friend Margie, she's a spiffing wheeze.

VO: And speaking of spiffing, they do have some very nice furniture here.

MARGIE: It's called a credenza.

This is a walnut one.

So elaborately decorated.

And credenzas always have a central cupboard and a glazed cupboard on either side.

Always floor standing.

And it is absolutely amazing.

I can't see any damage, I can't see any wear.

And this was made probably in about 1850.

And the price ticket is.. for this splendid piece of furniture, £1,400.

Will you knock £1,320 off?

Please, David.

(SHE LAUGHS) VO: Dream on.

Meanwhile there's more fine dining paraphernalia elsewhere.

Oh!

These are amazing.

When I think about how we have dinner now...

It's a Victorian style really, to have something to clip onto your plate.

Just in case you have the odd pip or a little bone, or anything at all that you don't want on your dinner plate, you just pop it on the side.

They're officially called pip trays.

And obviously, obviously, the finest ones are made of hallmark silver.

VO: I never eat without one!

NRS: These are quite streamlined in their design, they're not fussy at all.

So I think these are probably more 1920s, maybe creeping into the '30s.

And for eight, the price tag is £80.

I think these sell... Just one or two, they've gone really well, because they don't come up very often.

So for a set of eight, I think that's too good an opportunity to miss.

VO: So that's the little, possibly deco, box and eight silver-plated pip trays.

Over to David.

Pip pip!

So what's the best price on those?

You're a trade buyer, so £65.

65, OK. Yeah, I'm liking that.

And then, it has to be called from now on, the Borzoi box.

The Borzoi box, yes.

The Borzoi box is at 34.

£28 for you.

28.

So...yeah.

Yeah, I'm into those.

Let's do it.

Thank you so much.

Thank you very much indeed.

VO: £93 spent.

Now back to Margie.

MARGIE: So I wonder what this is.

I don't usually buy brass, but I think it can do quite well sometimes.

It's just figuring out what this is for.

This...comes off.

It's sometimes difficult to... to know what they're for, these things.

But what I think it might be, I wonder if it's something to do with the church.

As you go out of a Catholic church there's usually water for you to just bless yourself.

And the price is £60.

Hm, I wonder.

VO: £60 is the very best price.

So, what do you think?

MARGIE: I don't like brass very much, but something's attracted me to it.

And I've bought very small things, so it'd be quite nice to have a chunky one.

David!

I'm not sure what it is, but I'm going to pay you £60.

That'd be wonderful.

VO: And with that, they are all done.

MARGIE: Thank you very much.

DAVID: Absolutely.

Right Margie, this is it.

Right!

Off to the first auction.

Yeah.

(LAUGHS) VO: What's so funny?

Oh right, OK, before it rains.

Are you excited?

Eh, kind of.

Are you full of hope?

Hope... VO: Come on.

Allons-y!

Do you think I can do it?

Press the button.

Make her sing, make her sing!

To Dumfries!

MARGIE: Forward ho!

VO: Then, shut eye.

MARGIE: Here we go.

Off we go!

NRS: Woo!

MARGIE: Wa-hey!

VO: Ah, here we are.

Along with Mr Burns and his favorite pet, Luath.

Gaelic for "swift", it says here.

After setting out from Balfron Station, our two have taken the scenic route towards the Queen of the South, AKA Dumfries.

And Thomson Roddick, with internet bidding.

NRS: If it's going badly, what is it you say?

Och, you're kidding me on.

That is it, absolutely spot on.

But only if we're making no money.

MARGIE: We'll make piles of money.

VO: I'm sure we're very glad to hear it.

Margie managed to bag five lots for £180.

OK.

So, I can see exactly why Margie's bought this and had I been in the same shop, maybe I would've as well.

Onyx stand, check.

Cute little novelty Scottie dog going on, check.

I think the only thing that's freaking me out is this wee tongue here painted on.

It's not the most refined rendition of a tongue I've ever seen.

And to be "onyx" with you, I'm not a huge fan.

VO: I thought we said no puns.

Natasha's five purchases, meanwhile, set her back £183.

MARGIE: Oh my goodness, whatever are these?

Cobbled together.

And what are they for?

And it's all rusty.

Excuse me, don't touch what you can't afford.

(BOTH LAUGH) Are these yours?

Do you love?

Well, I can see how they're handcrafted, but it looks as though somebody's done it in the sixth form.

For a project!

NRS: That is so mean!

You don't see the beauty of... No, I don't... You can imagine them being taken apart, and you can see the constituent parts.

I wish you luck with those.

I don't think you do.

MARGIE: No.

VO: Crikey!

£10, £5.

VO: What are the thoroughly impartial thoughts of top auctioneer Sybelle Thomson?

SYBELLE: It's a lovely Victorian silver cigarette case.

Always popular, always lots of collectors for these items, and should make £40 to £60.

The item that caught my eye when we were unpacking them is the set of eight pip trays.

These are unusual.

Real shame they're not silver.

But I still think there'll be lots of interest in them at the auction today.

VO: All set fair then.

Time to take our seats.

We're front row.

Oh, it really is actually just about to start.

Oh!

Do you know Sybelle, the auctioneer?

I do, actually.

She is fast, Margie.

I do, I recognize her.

Is she fast?

So fast.

Blink and you miss it.

VO: Yeah.

Well, I'm paying attention, let's just hope the bidders are.

Starting off with Margie's teeny cauldron.

I can start straight in at 10 bid, 10 bid.

12, 15... Well, it's climbing.

..18, 20, two.

Anyone else going on...

It's bubbling.

It's bubbling.

28, 30, 32.

Oh.

SYBELLE: 35.

NRS: Here we go, here we go.

38.

At £38.

Well, that was my star buy.

VO: I think Margie would have happily had that in her home.

And now it doesn't belong to you anymore.

MARGIE: It doesn't belong to me.

NRS: It's gone.

VO: Natasha was very partial to be her pip trays too.

Let's hope they do her proud.

At 25 bid on... Oh, that's good.

That's good, good, good.

25.

28.

28... NRS: Come on.

..who's going on?

At 30... NRS: Oh.

SYBELLE: ..32, 35... Oh no.

Oh, you're doing alright, doing alright.

40.

Two, five, eight.

48.

Any advance... Oh no, I need more.

..on 48?

Bid's on my left at 48... NRS: Oh no.

SYBELLE: ..50.

Five.

60... Oh, well you're doing alright.

..£60.

On the left at 60.

Anyone else going on?

At £60.

SYBELLE: 65.

NRS: Oh!

70.

Five.

80.

A competition!

80, £80... Wow, proving me wrong... Bid's on my left.

At £80.

That was almost done at 60.

And then all of a sudden, 80.

That was exciting.

VO: Not 'alf.

A very good start.

Two people at it and it's wonderful.

Excuse me?

(BOTH LAUGH) VO: Margie's glassware is next.

Shame we can't see all three being juggled though.

£20 for these.

20, £10.

£5.

Everywhere.

Five, eight, 10, 12, 15, 18.

18.

At the back at 18... MARGIE: Oh, come on.

NRS: Oh, don't drop out now.

With the gentleman at the back at £18.

They look delightful.

Oh, Margie.

Oh well, never mind.

VO: I thought she took that well.

Stoic, I'd say.

Maybe they weren't so nice after all.

SYBELLE: Five bid, five bid.

VO: OK Dumfries, it's bard time.

Never mind the mirror.

Just look at that frame!

SYBELLE: At 20 bid, 20 bid... NRS: Ooh!

20 bid.

22.

25.

28.

30.

Two.

five, eight... Go on, come on, like a race, like a race.

40.

Two.

Five.

45.

Oh!

Anyone else going on at 45?

48.

50.

Yes, that's right.

There you go.

Selling to the lady at 50.

MARGIE: Well done.

NRS: Oh, I'm chuffed.

At £50.

A very nice thing.

We'll take a cup o' kindness.

Yeah, absolutely.

That was beautiful!

VO: A profit's a profit for all that.

Oh, I'm chuffed.

That was your star buy.

Do you reckon?

I think so.

VO: Time for Margie's big lump of brass.

Yeah, now actually, from a distance, Margie, it's a wee bit wonky.

Well, it was standing on the floor when I bought it.

£10.

£10 for a brass stand.

NRS: What did you pay?

MARGIE: 60.

10 bid.

12.

£12... NRS: Holy moly.

MARGIE: Oh no.

15.

18.

20.

22.

25.

28.

NRS: They're going wild in the aisles.

£30.

With the... Oh no.

..gentleman at 30.

At £30.

355.

That's got me nervous.

My nervous twitch has started.

Your wee knee's going bonkers.

Well, that's great.

Just lost £30 on that.

Well, that's a disappointment.

VO: If it was me, I'd be much more brassed off.

Ooh!

That deserved a better price.

I wonder if... Do you think it did?

Yes, it did.

VO: Now, can Natasha do better with her metallurgic offerings?

At least they were cheap.

Eight bid, eight bid, eight bid... Oh, I thought she said 80.

10.

12.

15.

18... Oh, somebody likes them.

Come on.

Still on commission, 20... Come on, come on.

..22.

25.

Do you want in now?

Can't believe it.

28.

30.

At the back at £30.

Anyone else going on at 30?

Blowing me down with a feather.

Is that the expression?

There's muck in brass?

Where there's muck, there's brass.

NRS: Oh!

MARGIE: Hm.

Where - I don't even know what they sold for.

MARGIE: You've made a profit.

NRS: I missed it.

What did it sell for?

VO: £30.

Do try and keep up.

Well, well done.

You're doing OK, you are.

Bit irritating.

VO: (LAUGHS) Perhaps the first of the deco doggy lots can perk things up for Margie.

Do you have a dog?

MARGIE: Used to.

NRS: Used to.

Did you have a wee dog, like a Scottie dog?

No, I had one... from a, from a care home.

Not a care home!

A dog's home.

A comfort animal.

Sorry.

From a dog's home.

(BOTH LAUGH) Can start straight in at eight bid, eight bid...

Here we go.

He looks great.

Everywhere, 10.

12.

15.

18.

20.

Wee Scottie.

22.

25.

It's moving.

25.

Anyone else going on at 25?

Flippin', flippin' Nora.

Margie!

At £28.

He did alright.

That should've done a wee bit better.

MARGIE: Well.

VO: Does look a wee bit disappointed, you know.

I feel like you're a pressure cooker.

You're about to explode!

VO: Natasha's pooch purchase next.

A must for fans of hairy greyhounds everywhere.

At eight bid.

Eight bid, eight bid, eight bid.

Oh, eight.

On commis...ten.

12.

15.

Keep going.

18.

20.

£20.

Right at the back.

Keep going, keep going.

£20.

Is anyone else going on?

And I'm selling it at 20.

SYBELLE: At £20.

MARGIE: A steal.

SYBELLE: 22.

NRS: Ooh!

22.

Bidder on my right, 25.

28.

28.

NRS: Come on!

SYBELLE: £28.

Standing on the right at 28.

Oh.

Anyone else going on?

At 28.

That's exactly what I paid for it!

VO: Ah well, at least she hasn't had an actual loss today.

MARGIE: It's OK. NRS: It's OK. VO: Margie's last lot.

Can her silver save her?

MARGIE: Now if this doesn't make a profit, I'm storming out.

Sorry.

Yes, I'm going to be...

Please can you storm out.

I'm going to get annoyed.

£30 for it.

30, 20.

20 bid, 20 bid.

NRS: What did you pay?

MARGIE: 35.

Oh, here we go, here we go.

25.

28.

30.

Two.

Five.

Eight.

NRS: Yes.

SYBELLE: 40.

NRS: Yes, yes, yes.

SYBELLE: £40.

Anyone else going on?

Nice cigarette case.

Ah, I think there's one more in it.

SYBELLE: 42.

NRS: Yes.

45.

48.

50.

£50... Yep.

Oh!

SYBELLE: With the lady at 50.

At £50.

So are you sticking around?

Good!

I'm sticking around, I'm not going anywhere.

VO: Phew, that's nice to know.

Thanks, Dumfries.

Finally, Natasha's bit of almost Christopher Dresser.

And I can start at 20 bid, 20 bid.

£30 I paid.

Here we go, come on.

..22. Who's going on at 22?

NRS: Oh, no.

SYBELLE: 25.

NRS: You've got to.

SYBELLE: 28.

30.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Five.

Eight.

40.

Two.

Five.

Eight.

48.

The bid's with the lady.

You're all out on my right.

Oh, girl, you're doing well.

At £48.

Oh, I'm sad to see it go though.

I bet you are.

But it's good to make a profit.

£18.

NRS: That's alright.

MARGIE: Brilliant.

VO: Yes, it's been Natasha's day alright.

Are we done with Dumfries now?

We're done with Dumfries.

MARGIE: Let's go.

NRS: Is Dumfries done with us?

MARGIE: Hopefully.

NRS: Probably is.

VO: Hang on, Margie!

Give us a chance to do the sums.

Margie began with £200 and, after auction costs, made a bit of a loss.

So she now has £154.48.

While Natasha - who started out with the same sum - made, after costs, a small profit.

Making her today's champ with £210 and 52 pence.

You ready for this, Margie?

MARGIE: I am ready.

NRS: I will... MARGIE: Oh, rain!

NRS: ..protect you, come on out.

Okey-doke.

So I'm congratulating you, well done.

Och.

It's not exactly a huge win.

No, but you did very well.

You did very well indeed.

So it's raining.

Where are we having lunch?

I don't know, somewhere dry.

Yeah, let's go.

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