[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: The nation's favorite celebrities.

Ooh, I like that.

NARRATOR: Paired up with an expert.

Oh, we've had some fun, haven't we?

NARRATOR: And a classic car.

It feels as if it could go quite fast.

NARRATOR: Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

Yes.

Fantastic.

Now do that in slow mo.

NARRATOR: The aim?

To make the biggest profit at auction.

Come on, boys.

NARRATOR: But it's no easy ride.

Da na!

NARRATOR: Who will find a hidden?

Don't sell me.

NARRATOR: Who will take the biggest risks?

Go away, darling.

NARRATOR: Will anybody follow expert advice?

I'm trying to spend money here.

NARRATOR: There will be worthy winners.

Yes.

NARRATOR: And valiant losers.

Put your pedal to the metal.

This is the "Celebrity Antiques Road Trip."

Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Today we're in the West Country, in the company of one of our most talented actors, plus his old agent, who's a bit of a star in his own right.

NIGEL HAVERS: So what are we doing?

Do you not know any of this?

Not really, no.

Well you know, because you tell me what to do, and I just do it, generally.

Actors.

I know.

It's Nigel Havers and Michael Whitehall.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: We're going to these antique shops.

We're buying antiques that we like.

But we're going to buy the best ones for the price.

Oh, OK. MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Negotiate them down.

Your negotiating skills aren't exactly legendary.

NIGEL HAVERS: No.

NARRATOR: Nigel, star of the Oscar winning "Chariots of Fire," and also love rat Lewis Archer from "Corrie" is sharing a Bentley with Michael, his old Mr 10%.

You've got what I haven't got.

Which is?

Which is that you're a supreme actor.

Supreme?

I like that.

Thank you.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: You never know when you're telling the truth.

Some of your performances are breathtaking.

NARRATOR: Having represented some of Britain's biggest actors, like Colin Firth, Dame Judi, and Daniel Day-Lewis, Michael's also the father of comedian Jack Whitehall.

They've even appeared together in their own TV show.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: And he's already made all the jokes, of course, about antiques.

In fact, he said to me on the phone the other day, have you two antiques run off with all these antiques yet?

NARRATOR: Those two were agent and client for over 30 years and remain the closest of friends.

Nigel was even best man at Michael's wedding.

So they should make for a formidable combination.

I'm going to say, I'm afraid that lamp, for me, will have to be 400 pounds.

How about that?

You maybe need to be a bit more ruthless.

OK. With it.

Go in a little bit more.

I'm afraid I'm only going to give you 400 pounds.

Take it or leave it.

How about that?

That it's a bit over the top.

NARRATOR: Fortunately, they'll have plenty of advice from our sagacious experts in the TVR, auctioneer James Braxton and dealer Margie Cooper.

MARGIE COOPER: I'm with Nigel Havers.

And you've got the very funny Michael Whitehall.

Are you going to be swooning?

MARGIE COOPER: Well, I hope I don't come over all unnecessary.

Do you?

Margie, I don't want to get between you and Nigel.

NARRATOR: So with 400 pounds per couple, let's get cracking.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: We've just got married.

This is why we're in this car.

We took the ribbon off, because we thought it looked a bit fash.

But here we are.

Yes.

We are so happy.

- What do you think?

Right.

So are you ready for the fray?

Yes.

What do we do now?

Well, we go and find the shop.

Do we?

A shop?

Yeah, we got to find a shop.

Going to find shops.

Buy ourselves a little wedding present.

It's such a shame to split you so early on.

NARRATOR: I wonder how Margie's coping with her charming chum.

MARGIE COOPER: I remember you from the massive "Chariots of Fire."

- Yes.

Of course, when we made the film, we didn't know whether-- - It was going to be a-- - No.

No.

Terrific.

In fact, I went to see a sort of little early screening, and I thought, oh, dear, I wonder who's going to be interested in these guys running around a track in 1924.

I wonder if we've made a mistake.

And then we ended up in Hollywood for the Oscar night, and the winner of the best film is "Chariots of Fire."

We couldn't believe it.

MARGIE COOPER: Gosh.

And everyone said, you've got to hang around in Hollywood.

You're a very hot sun.

I said, I've got to go back tomorrow, because I'm doing an episode of "Jackanory."

NARRATOR: Consummate pro.

Wither the Bentley boys, then?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: My boss, when I first became an actor's agent, he had a Bentley.

Yeah.

And he had a very, very talkative chauffeur.

And I remember him saying to me, I made the most terrible mistake.

The first day my new chauffeur arrived, it's that I didn't shut the partition.

And if you don't shut the partition on day one, you're stuck with him talking to you all the time.

NARRATOR: Well whatever the social niceties, I think the Bentley's definitely looking like the wiser choice.

Talk about "Chariots of Fire."

NIGEL HAVERS: We've got smoke coming out of the back.

Smoke out of the back.

NARRATOR: They're right, you know.

Better pull over.

Turn it off, love.

NARRATOR: I'm sure this doesn't happen on Nigel's usual productions.

Oh, Nigel.

See.

Oh, look at this.

- Oh, my lord.

- Yes.

Yes.

So what would happen?

Would it blow up?

Well it could do, if it got really, really hot.

Well, luckily, I don't think we're far.

- Should we just leave it there?

- Yeah.

Because no one's going to steal it.

It's not going to go anywhere, is it?

Right, let's go.

Come on.

NARRATOR: Well, I just hope it doesn't take too long, because they're supposed to be starting out in Bristol, and then motoring East, before eventually arriving in London and an auction at Southgate.

But first, that great city whose motto is "By virtue and industry."

And I'm sure it has more than enough of both.

Plenty of buses, too.

Wait.

Hello.

It's me.

Yes.

Just to let you know, our car blew up.

We managed to get out before it exploded, and we ran into a field.

And then we hopped on a bus, eventually, and now we're-- we're going to work.

Buh bye.

NARRATOR: Always call your agent, eh?

Come on, now, Nigel, break a leg.

Oh, hello.

Are you Steve?

Hello there.

Hello, Steve.

Nice to meet you.

NARRATOR: Lots of extras on set today.

Another orange man.

Do you follow me or what?

NARRATOR: Amongst this boggling array, there has to be something to suit our pair.

NIGEL HAVERS: Margie, what is this?

Well, this is brilliant.

This is a reclaimers.

Absolute wonderful place.

So basically, anyone who's got rubbish brings it here?

MARGIE COOPER: These are places where you just got to root and try and find stuff.

NARRATOR: You'll soon get the hang of it.

NIGEL HAVERS: This is brilliant.

This calendar, someone's converted it into a lampshade.

Isn't that good?

I'm absolutely speechless.

But that is incredible.

You put that in a very smart place.

It would look amazing.

That might be one of my extravagant and odd buys.

I'll give him a couple of quid, maybe a fiver.

Am I insane?

NARRATOR: We'll let you know.

It's all up for grabs in here, though.

NIGEL HAVERS: Yes, this is sweet.

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah, there is a certain amount of age to it.

- Yeah.

- Just stone.

It's wearing off.

It's wearing off.

OK.

But you've got to think about when, at the auction, when they hold that up.

It doesn't look like much.

Yeah.

You know, is that going to be a problem?

Let's have a look from a distance.

NARRATOR: Good idea.

Now we have lot number [INAUDIBLE].. NIGEL HAVERS: It looks better from a distance.

75 pound.

MARGIE COOPER: It's yours.

NARRATOR: Lordy, what can Margie come up with?

MARGIE COOPER: These would go in grottos, wouldn't they?

In the little 19th century houses, where they used to have these, like, furniture made with a shell back.

Yeah.

Little seats in the grottos.

Yeah.

You want to get away from everything.

NIGEL HAVERS: There's a weed growing out of the-- I'd like to keep that.

[INAUDIBLE] I love that.

NARRATOR: Another bucket.

MARGIE COOPER: Oh.

NARRATOR: What are the chances, eh?

There it is.

It's a cockle.

We've got a cockle bucket that isn't-- It's the real thing.

That hasn't been altered.

Honestly, I do quite like that.

MARGIE COOPER: Do you?

Well, if you really like that.

NIGEL HAVERS: Just, for a second.

Here's your drawing room.

Here.

And you have that as a wastepaper basket.

I think that's divine.

NARRATOR: Nigel's definitely got a thing about those.

Time to get Steve involved, me thinks.

Yes, we know we like the look of these.

Like, shell, grotto type chairs.

Grotto type.

STEVE: Yes, they're called screamer stools.

They are from the 1890's.

NIGEL HAVERS: Really?

Never heard of that.

It's because of the face on the-- Big screamy face.

NIGEL HAVERS: His big mouth there.

What sort of money are they?

I thought very heavy.

Mostly about 60 pound a go.

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah.

Are you interested, Nigel?

I am quite interested in that.

I'm also interested in this little baby here.

Oh, just a plaque.

It's a plaque.

STEVE: It eventually came from one of the demolition jobs that we've been to.

So whether it's old or new, not cheaper.

And it's obviously been outside, hasn't it?

Yes, but it's just a paint thing.

MARGIE COOPER: I'm quite intrigued by these, and I've noticed there's another one at the back.

NIGEL HAVERS: Oh, yes.

- It's that a pair?

Yes, 'tis a pair.

MARGIE COOPER: You said 60 pounds each.

STEVE: Yes.

MARGIE COOPER: But obviously, you'd be able to go a bit lower if we bought the two?

I'd come down to 100 pound for the two.

NARRATOR: Not so scary.

Now for Nigel's bucket, and some baskets, too.

MARGIE COOPER: You and your cockle bucket.

NIGEL HAVERS: Yeah, I've found a really nice, lovely cockle bucket, which has not been hacked about.

If we put that, let's say with these two baskets, bakery, there's a sort of cockles, bread.

MARGIE COOPER: How much is the cockle bucket?

STEVE: If you've got it at what it cost me, it was 15 pounds.

The breadbaskets?

Breadbaskets.

Five-- five-- five pounds.

MARGIE COOPER: These two.

Can you not ease it a bit more?

We're just gambling, aren't we?

We're in a London auction that we don't know, Steven.

I just said, if you were in London, and you were selling those, you'd get 80 pounds each, easy.

Yeah.

Wish I hadn't said that now.

NARRATOR: Quite, Margie.

Time to have a bit of a team talk, I reckon.

Refocus.

- So.

Right.

This cockle bucket.

Yes.

We've thrown out the baskets.

We throw the baskets out.

I think we should go for the screamers.

We can have another tap at him.

Have another tap.

And maybe the cockle bucket and 10.

Right.

- 110 for the two.

- Right.

And if he says no, what are you going to do?

OK, fine, 100.

Whatever you want.

All right.

NARRATOR: Stand by.

We've come to, I think, a wonderful conclusion.

Go on.

Which is that we'd like the screamers.

I think that's really fun.

And-- and the cockle bucket.

OK. And what if I said 110 for that lot?

- I'd say, yes.

- Oh.

Oh, good man.

Thank you very much.

NARRATOR: So, with Nigel off the mark, it's time to find out what their opposite numbers are up to.

Elsewhere in Bristol, in a car that still works.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: My first big climb was Kenneth Moore.

"Reach for the Sky," "Genevieve," and all those films.

And he was such a sweet man.

And his great friend was a man called Michael Havers, who was the Attorney General, Lord Chancellor.

I was in The Garrick Club with them both, and Michael Havers said, my boy is looking for a new agent.

He said, the chap he's got at the moment is absolutely useless.

And Kenny Moore said, oh, darling, you must take him on, he's such a sweet boy, and all that.

So I trusted Kenny and took him on.

And as it turned out, he was a huge success.

Yes.

NARRATOR: Those two are headed for a very different sort of gentlemen's club, because tucked away in Bristol City Center is a secretive spot that should suit art lover Michael down to the ground.

So we're now walking into the wigwam, which-- JAMES BRAXTON: Oh, wow.

MAN: It's probably like no other wigwam you've ever seen.

JAMES BRAXTON: Amazing.

MAN: And it's modeled on a Gloucestershire barn.

NARRATOR: This is the headquarters of The Savages, a Bristolian artistic institution for well over 100 years, as curator, Mike Newstead can explain.

The club, as we know it, was started by Ernest Ehlers, and he was a Bristolian of German extraction.

And there's a long tradition of groups of Bristol artists painting together.

Yes.

MIKE NEWSTEAD: And one night, it was 18th of February, 1094, he decided to form a society.

And they decided to call themselves The Bristol Savages.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: No one knows exactly why they adopted that particular moniker, although the Edwardian fashion for all things Native American may have been an influence.

The club came here to the Wigwam in 1920 with their somewhat eccentric methods already firmly in place.

The artists meet on a Wednesday night, about 6 o'clock, and paint to a subject set by Chairman for the evening.

So the artists don't have an apple or a model?

It'll be whatever the Chairman thinks is a sentence, a word, a catch phrase which might tickle his or their fancy.

They have no prompts.

They have to do it inside the studio.

In two hours.

In two hours.

In two hours.

NARRATOR: It can be quite a challenge.

Although would-be savages have to pass a stiff audition before they're entitled to wear the red feather.

While the so-called lay members, who turn up later to enjoy the fun, wear green.

The club, which still insists on remaining gentlemen only, has had many talented artists amongst its closed ranks.

MIKE NEWSTEAD: This picture here, "In Sunshine And In Shade" was painted by an artist Bartram Hiles.

And as a young man, he lost both his arms in an accident on Hotwells, run over by a tram.

But he learnt to paint by using the brush in his mouth.

And that's a portrait of Captain Robert Falcon Scott.

In 1910, he came to our annual dinner, and he gave a speech there.

We had a collection, which came to five guineas, which was sent to Captain Scott for him to use to buy a pony for his expedition.

And there is one of the ice picks.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: I wouldn't mind having one of those for when my son, Jack, misbehaves.

Oh.

And in 1937, his son, Peter Scott, came and painted with the artist members in the studio upstairs.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Yeah.

MIKE NEWSTEAD: And in our archive, we have the very painting that he did.

Did he do a bird?

Surprisingly, yes.

NARRATOR: Well, he was an ornithologist, I suppose.

I'm sure he'd easily have won his red feather.

I wonder what our two will create when put to the Savage test.

Do we have a title?

MAN: Yes, we do.

Yes.

I've written it on the board.

The board, by the way, is the original board that's been used since 1907.

I think the link with me with "The Antiques Road Trip" will be very spurious.

NARRATOR: On your artistic marks, then.

DICK: The clock is ticking.

JAMES BRAXTON: So much concentration.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Bear in mind that I was doing this cartoon in about 1945, when I was five.

That stuck with me as the only thing I can do.

Are you finished?

I am.

NARRATOR: Crikey.

JAMES BRAXTON: Dick, how have we done?

Well, I think there's a new ism coming on here.

You should phone the London galleries.

You may struggle to get into Savages at this stage, but it is only the first audition.

NARRATOR: I think that's what they call letting them down lightly, don't you?

[MUSIC PLAYING] Now, let's get back to the shopping.

Still in Bristol, where Nigel and Margie have reached their next shop.

Here we go.

Here we go.

NARRATOR: Gird your loins.

MARGIE COOPER: Hello.

Hiya.

Nice to see you.

I remember you.

- Yes, from last time.

- Yeah, Jay, hello.

Nigel here.

Nigel, Jay.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

I just spied this top hat.

Top hat.

Oh, [INAUDIBLE].

You mind if I-- yeah, thank you.

That just looks it suits you that one.

I do like a top hat.

I went to Ascot on Tuesday.

Did you really?

Yes.

Glorious weather.

It rained all day.

It's sort of too big for me.

Oh, it is.

Do you remember that comedian called Parrotface Davies?

Yes.

NARRATOR: They may well have appeared together in panto.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: I like these flags.

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah?

NIGEL HAVERS: I do rather.

MARGIE COOPER: Here we go.

NARRATOR: Well, we'll see if anyone salutes it, shall we?

There are a couple of moth holes in there.

I don't mind.

That's good, moth holes.

Where's the price, Jay?

It can be 15 quid.

Cheap.

What year do you think that is?

I would probably say it's '50s.

MARGIE COOPER: '53?

Coronation?

It might well be.

Should we make it that?

Yes, let's make it '53.

MARGIE COOPER: Just think, when you've just won "Chariots Of Fire."

I do that slow-mo.

Wouldn't you just love to run around, having achieved a gold medal?

But you know, if we're having a dinner party or something, they put this on the middle of the table, like that.

NARRATOR: Or a burial at sea.

MARGIE COOPER: So it's what, 10?

NIGEL HAVERS: 15.

It's cheap as chips, that.

Have you anything similar to go with it?

NARRATOR: Good plan.

What can our Jay find?

MARGIE COOPER: Are those are all for sale?

JAY: Yes, they're all for sale.

NIGEL HAVERS: There's a tin there with a sort of view of something.

Oh, that's Fortnum and Mason.

Oh, that would go with it, a flag.

A flag.

Could we get that tin down as well?

Yeah, let's have a little look.

All right, shall I-- You want to squeeze past me.

Jay, this is what you do for a living, climbing up furniture?

So, we want to have a look at this bottom one here.

So we've got that one there.

Is that Tower of London?

It's old London, and that's the tower, isn't it?

Yeah.

I like it.

And that's where you went through if you're in big trouble.

Was it that one there you were looking for?

Yes.

Yes.

NARRATOR: Oh, Crawford and Sons.

Delicious.

JAY: Original ring on the top.

I like that.

Ooh, yeah.

OK, these two tins appeal to me.

Does that appeal to you?

Yes.

NARRATOR: Everyone loves biccies.

Let's look at this one.

Yeah, that's not [INAUDIBLE].

JAY: Job lot of tins, is that what we're going to get?

Yes, yes.

NARRATOR: Looks like it.

MARGIE COOPER: Well, let's just talk money for a minute, because I've got to be-- they've got no prices on, so-- JAY: I was going to say I'd sell the lot for 15 quid.

I think that's pretty good.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: It's a bit like an old fashioned sweet shop, this.

NIGEL HAVERS: And while you're at it, I'll have a KitKat.

Yes.

JAY: [INAUDIBLE] MARGIE COOPER: She looks like a Macfarlane Lang.

Oh, I remember them.

I think she's great.

We're having her.

NARRATOR: Any danger of a deal, do we think?

Union Jack was 15.

Yeah, and there's 15.

And these were 15.

So, can we lump it all together?

The word lump is what I like.

JAY: It's 30 for the two lots.

That's cheap.

Done.

Smashing.

NARRATOR: They're certainly buying in bulk.

Right.

Let's try and get out of this hole.

NARRATOR: But how does Margie reckon it's going?

I think we're buying some really funny and interesting things.

I'm not sure about his cockle bucket.

NARRATOR: Quite.

But he's a very attractive man.

And he's lovely as well.

He's lovely with it.

So yeah, enjoying it immensely.

Margie, I don't know what you think of this.

Is that old?

No.

Oh, bugger.

NARRATOR: Say what you like about our Nige, he certainly puts a shift in.

NIGEL HAVERS: You have to really learn to look up, because quite often things are up, up.

Oh, there's an aeroplane up there.

Lots of things remind me of my childhood here, lots and lots of things, including this sledge.

Look at this.

This is great.

That's a two seater.

Hey, I loved to go sledging.

It was fantastic.

Of course, it used to snow a lot more in those days.

I'm quite interested in that.

NARRATOR: So, with Nigel poised to buy the entire shop, our other pairing have still to part with as much as a penny.

JAMES BRAXTON: Michael, are you a collector?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: I have sort of crazes of collecting things.

So I suddenly start buying commedia dell'arte paintings.

And I ended up with far too many pictures.

Are you quite tough?

Are you a tough negotiator?

I am a tough negotiator.

My problem is that I do have slightly weird tastes.

The sort of thing that appeals to me very often doesn't appeal to anyone else.

JAMES BRAXTON: Yeah, that's not helpful.

NARRATOR: They're on their way by a somewhat circuitous route to the same shop that Nigel and Margie are currently hoovering up.

So let's hope Michael isn't too bothered about flags, biscuit tins, or model planes, because they've all gone.

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah.

OK. MARGIE COOPER: Down.

Now I want you to look up.

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah.

Now.

Oh, crikey.

It's going to be a lot of money, isn't it?

So it has flown?

That would have flown at some point, yeah.

But how would you-- when you say it flies-- How do you land it?

I wouldn't have a clue.

I just know how to stick it out there.

NARRATOR: I beg your pardon?

MARGIE COOPER: Well, how much is it?

350.

I knew it would be.

JAY: 150?

Just to get it out of the way.

NARRATOR: Yeah, actually, it sort of already is.

MARGIE COOPER: Well, if you're interested, ask for the best price.

So Jay.

Yes?

What is the best price for that piece?

- That was the best price.

- Was it?

Yes.

NARRATOR: Perhaps the sledge will go down better.

Whoops!

Don't worry about that, Jay.

JAY: Look at that.

NIGEL HAVERS: The runners are still there.

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah, they are.

NIGEL HAVERS: See.

Any brakes on it?

No.

No, don't seem to be.

- I had one with brakes on.

- Did you?

Yeah.

Well you would, wouldn't you?

Yeah, yeah.

What's the best price on that, Jay?

JAY: It was 35 quid priced up, isn't it?

A nice gentleman like you, it's 30 pounds.

Oh, Jay.

That's not even 10%.

NARRATOR: Over 13, actually.

MARGIE COOPER: I don't think that's going to be a goer for 30.

Nor do I.

What are you thinking?

I was thinking 20 quid.

Yeah.

I could split the difference with you there, 25.

Don't look at me.

You found it.

You found-- 25.

Yeah, 25.

Yes, deal.

Thank you.

Smashing.

Done it now.

NARRATOR: In this together, hey, Margie?

Hang on.

There's more.

NIGEL HAVERS: Look, coronation souvenir book, 1937.

MARGIE COOPER: Oh, that's lovely.

To go with your flag.

Yes.

Well done.

NIGEL HAVERS: Jay wanted five, but I got it for three.

MARGIE COOPER: Nigel.

There, is that the Koh-i-noor diamond?

Indeed.

MARGIE COOPER: That must be so heavy on her head.

That's why she's like this.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: Uncanny.

58, then, for that little lot.

A flag, seven tins, a book, and a sledge, all cunningly concealed from our late arrivals.

Bye, Jay.

Bye bye.

Goody.

This isn't a bus shelter you know.

It's up there, the bus shelter, if you're looking for a bus.

We're waiting for our limousine to take us home.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Really?

JAMES BRAXTON: I thought it was the 175C.

We better do some shopping.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: I think we better get on.

JAMES BRAXTON: Good luck.

I hope it isn't canceled.

OK?

NARRATOR: Time to see Michael in action.

Here's the proprietor, Jay, Michael.

How do you do, Jay?

Nice to meet you, Michael.

NARRATOR: Bit like, perhaps, but definitely spoiled for choice.

JAMES BRAXTON: Michael, take that in your hands.

When you hold something like that, what happens?

Initial nerves?

You know, can I get a tune out of it?

It reminds me of my friend Elton John.

JAMES BRAXTON: Yeah.

Yeah.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: He has a quite elderly tambourine player in his group.

He's had him 30, 40 years.

Really?

Right back to the old days.

But he is really very old.

He's even older than me.

Really?

And he's beginning to run out of his, whatever it is you need to play the tambourine.

Your oomph, or your smack, is it?

Yeah.

NARRATOR: Steady on.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: My son is a comedian, as you know.

Yeah.

And in the old days, comedians, when they told jokes, would say something, and then they'd go-- at the end, just to let the audience know that the-- the jet set, for example, you'd say, "I sent my wife to the West Indies."

Jamaica?

No, she went of her own accord.

NARRATOR: Keep smiling, Jay.

They are getting there.

What does this owe you, Jay?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: A fiver?

- 15 quid.

- No.

[INAUDIBLE] JAY: That's cheap for that.

Think of the amount of fun you could have with that.

He's still smiling.

When somebody is still smiling, then they're not upset, are they?

Well, I've said a fiver.

JAY: That'll have to back on the shelf.

That can't be a fiver.

NARRATOR: Careful, James, you'll wear it out.

How long have you had that up there?

JAY: About 10 days.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: 10 days, and nobody's bought it.

- Nobody's bought it.

- Unbelievable.

Are you beginning to feel nervous about that price?

You just got to wait for the right punter, aren't you?

That's what you got to wait for, the right man to come in for it.

I'll tell you what I would be prepared to do, because I know you like it, and I like it.

I would be prepared to go eight pounds.

Really?

Best I'd do is 12.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Nine, my final word, nine.

That's very good.

So it's either nine or nein.

NARRATOR: He's on a roll.

- Thank you, sir.

Well done.

Well done.

Danke schoen.

JAMES BRAXTON: So there we are.

NARRATOR: Auf Wiedersehen.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: What a nice young man.

NARRATOR: Yes.

Now with our two friends back together again, it's down to business.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: You know at the end of all this, when we do the auction, because of our relationship, I think that I should take a percentage of what your things make.

Yeah.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Obviously, that would have VAT on it.

NARRATOR: Nighty night.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Ah!

Good to see the TVR's back on song.

Let's hope it lasts.

JAMES BRAXTON: We bought, as Michael said, a bit of nonsense.

And I heard him say that he might be the oldest thing in the shop.

I think he was.

NIGEL HAVERS: I have made one purchase, though, that she completely and utterly doesn't understand.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Right.

It's made of metal, and it's got holes in it as well, I can tell you.

What about James, how was he?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Great.

Very good man.

Yeah.

And actually, he drove the car beautifully.

And there was a moment when I wished I was just sitting in the back reading the paper, because he'd make a lovely chauffeur.

NARRATOR: Just as well, because there wasn't a lot of actual shopping done by Michael and James yesterday, with just 9 pounds spent on their Tambourine Man.

Nine or nein, we go.

NARRATOR: Leaving them with an awful lot to buy and almost 400 pounds to do it with, while Margie and Nigel bought heaps, including that bucket, a flag, a book, several biscuit tins, a wooden sledge, and a pair of grotto chairs, or-- Screamers.

NARRATOR: But, they still have well over 200 pounds left for today's purchases.

Hang on, looks like we're about to go off road.

NIGEL HAVERS: Thank God this Bentley's four wheel drive.

That's all I can say.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Yes, when I've watched this programming, they're sort of roaring along roads, and the sun's shining, and there's sort of cornfields.

And I've never seen one where they're stuck in a sort of muddy track in pouring rain.

NIGEL HAVERS: No.

NARRATOR: He's obviously not watched for a while then.

Later, they'll be making for the capital, and that auction at Southgate, but their next stop is in Somerset at Frome.

I think it might be brightening up, you know?

What a lovely day, isn't it?

'Tis a lovely day.

- Breathtaking.

- We're back in.

You going to go?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: I think we should go.

- All right.

- Are you going to drive?

Do you want me to?

I'd love you to have a go, because it's such fun.

Is it?

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

I must be ever attending.

There could be a drop in it for me later.

Well done.

Are you having problems yet?

No promises.

No promises.

I might be able to see my way into something for you.

NARRATOR: Ah, still running smoothly I see.

Almost as smooth as Nigel.

MARGIE COOPER: Do you quite like playing, you know, the bad guy?

The bad guy's much easier to play.

Yeah, I'm sure.

And a bit more fun.

Do people come after you afterwards and tell you off?

They do.

When I was in "Corrie," I was queuing up in the supermarket, and people would say, "You owe Audrey 40 grand, you nasty man!"

NARRATOR: We all love a banter.

JAMES BRAXTON: Michael, I was very impressed with your haggling skills.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Oh, really?

JAMES BRAXTON: Yeah.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Well, that's kind.

I mean, I've spent most of my life sort of haggling for actors, you know.

JAMES BRAXTON: What is the tip?

Were you a king of the pause or silence?

I did the silence quite a lot.

And then the other one was walking away from it.

And then you'd ring the actor, and the actor would say, "But I mean, what happens if they offer it to somebody else?"

I'd said, "Well, that is always the chance you have to take."

NARRATOR: Nerves of steel, eh?

Rather ancient and very picturesque, the town of Frome hosts an annual cycle race up some of its steepest streets called The Cobre Wobble.

SOPHIE: Hello.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Oh, hello.

I'm Michael.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Sophie.

- James.

- Sophie, this is James.

- Sophie.

Hello.

Very good to see you.

What a lovely stock, isn't it?

SOPHIE: Thank you.

NARRATOR: Spoken like men with exactly 391 pound between them.

Anything Sophie would especially like to big up?

This is the lovely bronze-- JAMES BRAXTON: Oh, that's very good, isn't it?

Got nice sort of weight to it.

It's all there.

A lot of tapping.

It's always good to tap and ring.

NARRATOR: It's not another tambourine.

Age, Sophie?

SOPHIE: It's quite a modern piece, but I still think it's got a lot of quality.

What Have you got on this, Sophie?

The bronze is 6000 at the moment.

Right.

Right.

Well, we got an idea of pricing structure now.

NARRATOR: Hmm.

Maybe something a bit more modest.

JAMES BRAXTON: So we've got a very terribly small biscuit box here.

This is by Huntley and Palmer, based on a sort of Wedgwood.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Mm-hmm.

NARRATOR: And priced at a mere five pounds.

We can't all buy biscuit tins.

Look again.

JAMES BRAXTON: Sweet little enamels, aren't they?

Ballooning.

People are quite potty about ballooning, aren't they?

Bristol is a great center of ballooning.

They have a big ballooning festival.

I rather like that.

How much is that, Sophie?

Just a whole 15 pounds.

15 pounds?

Well, that's the start, Sophie.

Well done.

I think we're going to think about that.

NARRATOR: There are plenty of pictures in here, too.

But what will tempt our boys?

JAMES BRAXTON: I just noticed this.

And you know, when you're looking for something, you want something that actually has a bit of craft about it.

This has actually been painted, this one, rather than being transferred.

Yes.

JAMES BRAXTON: And the scene?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Don Quixote, isn't it?

JAMES BRAXTON: Yeah.

Don Quixote, it is.

Isn't it?

And the windmills, Spanish.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Yeah.

JAMES BRAXTON: This is earthenware, so this is Hispano-Moresque.

So it's a sort of tin-glazed earthenware of Spain.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Probably a holiday purchase, would you think, from somewhere?

JAMES BRAXTON: I think so.

But a man with more substance, because he could have bought something six inches, couldn't he?

Yeah.

And he said, no, darling, we'll go for the 12.

We'll go for the 12.

NARRATOR: Yeah, but you know what they say about size.

JAMES BRAXTON: Don Quixote, I always forget this fellow.

I think he was called Sancho Panza, was that right?

Ah, so he was like, sort of-- he was his man, wasn't he?

Exactly.

In Bentley terms.

Bentley terms.

That would be me, and that would be you.

JAMES BRAXTON: Braxton.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Yeah.

Braxton on the mule.

NARRATOR: Time to sally forth.

JAMES BRAXTON: If I may give you that to you, sir.

There you are.

And I think this was the other thing we were going to get.

That was the other thing.

So this is marked at 15.

JAMES BRAXTON: Yeah.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: And this had on it-- JAMES BRAXTON: 20 quid, I think it was.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Yes.

JAMES BRAXTON: If Sophie was Lew Grade there, now how would you approach the whole thing?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: I would probably say I would pay, for this plate, 20 pounds, provided I could take that with me, too.

SOPHIE: 15 pounds off?

I mean, I don't like to be ruthless this early in the day.

NARRATOR: I think he does, you know?

SOPHIE: Can I squeeze you up a little bit?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: No.

Not even to 25?

No.

SOPHIE: As you are such a lovely person, and obviously you are as well.

Well, I'm only-- I suppose.

I'm only the chauffeur.

OK. Well-- Sophie, that's very nice.

Thank you very much.

Very nice to meet you.

NARRATOR: He has his uses, though, like lugging the lolly.

Thank you very much.

For you, Sophie.

SOPHIE: Thank you very much.

NARRATOR: We'll call that 17 pounds for the charger and just three for the beaker.

But while they head off in their trusty steed-- [MUSIC PLAYING] The sometimes temperamental TVR is also in Somerset, on the road to one of Nigel's favorite cities, beautiful Bath.

MARGIE COOPER: Nigel, do you know Bath well?

I do.

I know bath very well.

I've done many shows at the Theatre Royal, and I do think it's a magical city.

It is.

Oh, look at the view there.

It's beautiful.

NARRATOR: Although Bath has been around since Roman times, it was spectacularly reinvented during the 18th century as a fashionable spa resort.

Nigel and Margie are here to find out about one of the Georgian cities' prime movers from historian Doctor Amy Frost.

I'm standing outside my favorite theater in England.

Oh, good.

Seriously.

AMY FROST: Before this was a theater, in the early 18th century, it was one of the houses where Beau Nash lived.

And he was the master of ceremonies of Bath and a great performer for society.

So this is where he spent a lot of his time.

I imagine was Beau a sort of nickname?

Yes, so his name was Richard, and he sort of adopted this nickname as he began to sort of brand himself quite early in his life.

He starts organizing entertainments, and he starts corralling society, making them have things that they can go to, things that they can do.

MARGIE COOPER: Putting Bath on the map.

Yeah, well, he sort of gets invited to come down to Bath to kind of build up the reputation of the place.

NARRATOR: Amy credits Nash, along with Ralph Allen, the man who owned the bath stone quarry, and the classical architects John Wood and sons, as the men who made the city a must visit destination.

So Amy, what did they do for fun?

Well, I mean, you told people you were here to take the waters.

That was the sort of polite explanation.

Polite, yes.

But of course, people would go shopping.

Bath became the place for luxury goods, balls twice a week, musical entertainments, card games, card parties, the theater.

So there was quite a lot for you to do, but it was all entirely built on pleasure.

This is where he lived originally.

Yeah.

He gets up in the morning.

He has a huge breakfast, I imagine.

Yeah.

And then says it's time to go to the Baths?

To the Baths, yeah.

I mean, society would be at the Baths first thing in the morning, and then they'd be done with their bathing by 9 o'clock in the morning, and then he would have a full day of orchestrating what they did for the rest of the day.

And he was that important?

AMY FROST: Yeah.

Yeah, he called himself the King of Bath.

NIGEL HAVERS: So wherever he went, everyone followed?

AMY FROST: Everyone followed.

NIGEL HAVERS: Well, shall we go and do a typical-- - Follow him.

- Yes, follow him.

Yeah.

OK. NARRATOR: Although the Romans got their first, building these fine baths, fashionable folk began flocking to take the waters after Queen Anne took a dip in 1703.

NIGEL HAVERS: It's a warm bath, huh?

AMY FROST: Yeah, you can feel the heat.

NARRATOR: But bathing was just the beginning of Nash's very strict social whirl.

He created a set of rules for assemblies.

So there were two balls a week, which were referred to as assemblies, and he encouraged someone to set up an assembly room that they would take place in.

And then he publishes these rules, and they're rules to be observed when in Bath.

And it's things like, elderly ladies and children must sit around the edge of the room in a ball, because they are beyond, or not yet, come to perfection.

Ladies are not allowed to be seen wearing a white apron.

Drooling and carrying a sword around town was sort of frowned upon.

You know, these sorts of things.

MARGIE COOPER: And the people abide by these?

AMY FROST: Yeah.

NARRATOR: Nash, meanwhile, was quietly making a fortune from subscriptions to the society's venues to an awful lot of gambling.

AMY FROST: He's completely on the take.

So whatever is being made at the gaming tables, he is being paid a percentage of what people are taking.

Because you can't guarantee to make money out of gambling, but you can guarantee money making-- Of whatever the house makes.

The house makes, and because the house always wins.

AMY FROST: Yeah.

NARRATOR: With the famous pump room at the hub of social life, the King of Bath reigned as the city's MC for over 50 years.

Would they have food all day, or was it-- No.

I mean, originally, actually, it would have just been empty of tables and chairs other than chairs around the outside.

Right.

And you would come here to look at the visitor's book, to see who'd arrived in the city, and did you know them.

And then you just walked in a big circle.

So you would just walk around the room, and you would walk, and making new acquaintances, saying hello to people, gossiping with people.

MARGIE COOPER: Being social.

So yeah, you're just sort of circling.

- Promenading.

- Yeah.

And it's still a fashionable place, still doing its original function.

It's a place where people come almost entirely for pleasure.

NARRATOR: Although this particular pump room was erected after Nash's death, he's still honored with a statue.

NIGEL HAVERS: So looking back on Nash's life, we have to respect him, don't we?

Yeah, I think so.

And I think we should give him a-- - For all his faults.

- Give him a quick.

Yeah, give him a quick.

Yeah, cheers.

Well done, old Nash, even though you are an ugly old bugger.

MARGIE COOPER: [INAUDIBLE],, is it?

NARRATOR: And speaking of which-- JAMES BRAXTON: So Michael, sorry, Mr Whitehall, how do you think my chauffeuring probation's going?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: I think probably listen more than talk would be an early note I would give you.

I like the name.

James is a very good name, or Braxton is a good name.

In fact, I slightly veer to the surname.

But you'd have to sort of smarten up a bit.

NARRATOR: Those two have now motored over to Wiltshire and the town of Devizes, where in the shadow of the tower brewery-- It's a proper antique shop, this one.

NARRATOR: No mattresses.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Hello.

I'm Michael.

How do you do?

- I'm John.

- Hello.

Vicki.

Hello.

And James.

James.

John.

Michael, hats off, please.

Umbrella down.

Let's go antiquing.

NARRATOR: Yes, let's.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: That's nice.

JAMES BRAXTON: That is very nice, isn't it?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: That reminds me of Alfred Wallace's paintings.

You now Alfred Wallace?

JAMES BRAXTON: I don't know.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: He was a very elderly man.

And when he was in his sort of mid '80s, and he lived in St Ives in this funny little broken down house, and he started painting on bits of driftwood, and then bits, any bits of stuff and rubbish he could get hold of.

And now his paintings are worth millions of pounds.

Really?

Do you think he might have worked in a different medium on this one?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: He might have done it.

It looks a little too sophisticated.

Does it?

But I like it.

I like the look of it.

It's very decorative.

JAMES BRAXTON: How much have you got on this?

75.

75?

It's not outrageous, is it?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: No.

And if it turned out to be Alfred Wallace?

Well, yes.

NARRATOR: Sorely tempted.

Back in Bath, Nigel's saying it with flowers.

So this is going to go into the cockle bucket?

To liven it all up.

To liven it all up.

To push the sale.

Exactly that.

Yeah.

How much have you spent, though?

NIGEL HAVERS: A tenner.

MARGIE COOPER: Oh, that's all right.

NIGEL HAVERS: Is it?

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah.

I really hope it brings you luck.

Thank you very much.

You might need it.

You've always had a thing about that cockle bucket.

NARRATOR: Oh, well, never mind.

You've still got one last shop to look forward to.

This is more like it.

NARRATOR: Yes, and with almost 200 pounds left, they could have some fun in here.

NIGEL HAVERS: Look at this, HRH.

What is [INAUDIBLE]?

HRH.

They've got my suitcase.

This is an incredible thing.

I didn't expect them to have that.

Do you like it?

MARGIE COOPER: I do like it, but I've just seen the swing ticket.

220, but it's a really good one.

NARRATOR: Hey, here's a tin plate reminder of Bath's past.

ALEX: Nice and substantial, isn't it?

NARRATOR: Shopkeeper Alex should be able to extol its virtues.

Beautifully made.

Accurate.

Yeah.

Even the wheel rims are of steel.

NIGEL HAVERS: Got brake pads.

ALEX: It's got brake pads.

It's all there.

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah, there's a bit of age to it.

What do you think, 50 years?

I would say not much more than 50.

Yeah.

I do like it, but I've just seen the ticket.

ALEX: Go on, make me an offer.

NARRATOR: Well, go on then.

ALEX: The doors-- I look at you immediately.

The door is right behind you.

NIGEL HAVERS: Something in the region of 70.

MARGIE COOPER: We've made an offer.

ALEX: I think it's going to be a little bit over 70, but can I just go away and-- Think about it.

NARRATOR: Now, there's a coincidence, a little coach in Bath, and that primitive boat in Devizes.

Anything else in this old house?

So it goes on forever.

It's a bit like the-- Incredible.

The Eiffel Tower here, isn't it?

NARRATOR: D'accord.

This is amazing.

Amazing, isn't it?

A very Dickensian feel to it.

This was the children's nursery area, do you think?

I think it was, yeah.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Oh, this is nice.

I like this.

JAMES BRAXTON: That's sort of Chinesey, isn't it?

Very pretty, this.

Yeah.

Look, we've got a thing for a shelf, there.

So this-- oh, lovely.

That's probably-- NARRATOR: Whoop, careful.

JAMES BRAXTON: That shelf there, isn't it?

The door doesn't close now.

NARRATOR: Steady on, Braxton.

A bit worried you'll begin to demolish it before we've even bought it.

You can see, I'm a natural for the self-assembly.

NARRATOR: A natural something, certainly.

John, the proprietor is on his way.

Just as well.

Ah, I'm glad you've come up.

James is about to demolish this very elegant little cupboard of yours.

Is that the shelf for it, John?

It is.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Why didn't you ask him in the first place?

No, I think that's very pretty.

JAMES BRAXTON: Do you?

It's obviously very well made, isn't it?

It comes together-- - Well, it was.

- Well, it was.

Yes.

NARRATOR: Well said.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: And has it got any age to it?

ALEX: Not a great deal.

No.

It's more a decorative piece.

Yeah.

That's what they're about in North London, aren't they?

Decorative items.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Yes.

And is there a price on it?

I think probably 95.

95.

NARRATOR: Time to devise a deal.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: We've got an after Alfred Wallace, then we've got this after Chinese dynasty.

So what's the best, John, you could do for those two pieces?

For the two items, two item deal.

We got buy one get one free in the last shop, didn't we?

Yeah, we did.

Very, very generous.

That's not caught on 'round these parts.

No.

I was thinking 110, weren't you, for the two?

I could do the two for 150.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: What do you think?

JAMES BRAXTON: I don't-- this is the moment where I remain silent, Michael.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: What about 130 for the two?

ALEX: Oh, I couldn't possibly, it'd break my heart.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: So what is your final price then?

145.

145.

145 for the two items.

For the two items carried downstairs.

Carried downstairs.

OK, let's go for it.

Do you think so, Michael?

Are you sure?

NARRATOR: They got there.

[MUSIC PLAYING] But elsewhere, there's still work to be done.

Now, that's familiar.

NIGEL HAVERS: OK. MARGIE COOPER: Yeah?

NIGEL HAVERS: Oh, yeah.

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah.

NIGEL HAVERS: And underneath, it says-- MARGIE COOPER: 75.

75 pounds.

NARRATOR: So you'll be pleased about the one you picked up yesterday, then.

NIGEL HAVERS: These little decanters here.

ALEX: Yes.

NIGEL HAVERS: Well they look-- are they Georgian?

They are Georgian.

They are?

I thought they were.

And they were probably once in a little stand at one time.

85 pounds.

Yeah.

I do like them.

Yeah, they're very nice.

A lovely pair.

NIGEL HAVERS: Let me just put those down here.

ALEX: Nice little mushroom stoppers on them.

NIGEL HAVERS: What can we do on these?

MARGIE COOPER: They're lovely, aren't they?

Let's sort of suggest maybe 65.

It just shouts Georgian, that-- It really does.

I think they're divine.

NARRATOR: So far, we have the tin plate coach and those decanters under consideration.

Anything else?

MARGIE COOPER: This green bottle.

It's a lovely color, isn't it?

ALEX: A nice, big carboy, yeah.

Oh, gosh.

I don't know.

We're in a right old pickle now, aren't we?

Much is it?

I could do that for 25 pounds.

MARGIE COOPER: Let's bring it out.

So that's 20 pounds for that.

NARRATOR: 25, I think he said.

I'm just going to get the carriage.

NARRATOR: Still in character, I see.

Getting the carriage.

I'm on my way.

And this is our dilemma.

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah.

Georgian decanters.

We have the coach.

50 years old, roughly, but very decorative.

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah.

NIGEL HAVERS: And this.

MARGIE COOPER: Really cheap and cheerful.

NIGEL HAVERS: Cheap and cheerful.

MARGIE COOPER: But in my opinion, as silly as it sounds, as utterly stupid as it sounds, that will probably be more saleable than that.

NIGEL HAVERS: So let's take those out of the equation.

NARRATOR: Then there were two.

MARGIE COOPER: So how much was this in the end?

You said we'd have to come up a bit in price.

How about 80?

MARGIE COOPER: Well, we've got to get 100 to make a profit.

ALEX: How about 100 for the two?

Yeah.

100 for the two?

MARGIE COOPER: Yeah.

- Done.

Done.

Thank you.

OK, 100 for the two.

Fantastic.

NARRATOR: Yes, but they're almost as excited by what they didn't buy.

What about that tin caddy, that tin.

75.

75 knicker.

And he had how many?

We got 7 for 15 pounds.

Is that good for us?

It's got to be good for us.

Yay.

Yay.

NARRATOR: Hey, slightly embarrassing celebratory rituals completed, it's time to take a peek at what our teams have bought.

Shall we show them the spring of our joy?

Shall we?

JAMES BRAXTON: One, two, three.

Ah.

Ah, well I'd say that's wonderful.

That's a very nice collection.

JAMES BRAXTON: I think you could furnish a bed set with this, couldn't you?

I think you've done really well.

That's really well.

What is that?

JAMES BRAXTON: A beaker, a small beaker.

NARRATOR: English enamel beaker.

Decorated with balloons.

With little balloons on it.

Right.

Isn't that pretty?

Oh, how sweet.

Love your tambourine.

NIGEL HAVERS: I love the tambourine.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: It's nice.

I've had it retuned.

Is the tambourine old?

Listen.

Is your tambourine old?

Yeah, it's quite old, isn't it?

Very old, I would say.

It's got what's known as a bit of age to it.

And your little oriental cabinet there, quite sweet.

JAMES BRAXTON: That was our most expensive item, wasn't it?

It was.

It wasn't an easy guy, that one.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] 75, 75.

I think that's absolutely charming.

I like the little boat, too, I have to say.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: It's very you, I thought.

NIGEL HAVERS: It is.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Dinky.

JAMES BRAXTON: 70 pounds.

Yeah.

JAMES BRAXTON: Not bad for a steamer, single funnel, is it?

Really?

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: So I think we basically got one, two, three, four, five, extremely good-- I agree.

A little round of applause for that.

JAMES BRAXTON: Thank you.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Yes, very, very good.

NARRATOR: Curtain up.

Time for act two.

NIGEL HAVERS: And we just take this off like this.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: Oh, nice, look at that.

Look at that.

What?

JAMES BRAXTON: You could furnish a garden center with that.

Quite a lot going on here.

There is.

There is a lot going on.

I love that sort of carriage, the stagecoach.

A lovely model.

Tell them about the chairs there.

Well, those stone chairs, to me, are called sort of grotto chairs.

They are grotto chairs, aren't they?

MARGIE COOPER: But the guy came up with a very funny name.

He called them screamers.

Because there's a mouth on the front going like that.

NIGEL HAVERS: That is a sledge.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: A sledge.

Yes.

Useful.

Just the weather for it.

NIGEL HAVERS: Just the weather for it.

You thought that was it.

- Moving into summer.

But it's a great way to get a tandem sledge, IE a double.

You can get two people on that sledge.

Gosh.

That's very friendly, isn't it?

Yes.

NIGEL HAVERS: It's very friendly.

Moving over here, if you may.

Because it's the Queen's birthday, we have this collection of tins and goodies.

A particularly good tin, there.

And a coronation souvenir book of 1937.

Fabulous.

It's a royal theme.

Yes, isn't that lovely?

MARGIE COOPER: Well, I think we've all done really well.

- I think.

- [INAUDIBLE] really well.

A brilliant choice.

And may the best-- may the best couple win.

May the best couple win.

NARRATOR: Now for some backstage backstabbing.

I know Michael very, very well.

He was expecting me to go, oh, I don't believe you paid for all that junk.

So when I said, oh, that was brilliant, he was, like, taken aback.

They certainly, I didn't think, got any of that stuff in an antique shop, did they?

I mean, some sort of bric-a-brac place.

If you were being unkind, what would you say?

NIGEL HAVERS: I'd say they paid a little bit too much for the ship.

But you know, people love things in glass cases.

They love it.

Yeah.

I think their saving grace is their seats.

I love their seats.

They're good, aren't they?

And a pair.

Yes, a pair.

A pair is always very good.

Always like a pair.

NARRATOR: After beginning back in Bristol, they're now on their way to an auction at the London suburb of Southgate.

Regrets?

Well, one or two.

If I was an auctioneer, and I was wanting to sell sledges, I probably wouldn't do it in June and July.

In a completely flat town.

Not a hill to be seen here.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: No.

NARRATOR: Come on, Nigel.

Improbable sporting triumph?

Heroes and villains?

Just like the movies!

I can't really.

I'm a little nervous, but we'll be fine.

Don't worry.

You'll be fine.

It'll be fine.

NARRATOR: Let's go to work.

Nigel and Margie have spent 278 pounds on five lots, including a few joint ones, while Michael and James have parted with just 174 pounds, also for five lots.

I wonder what auctioneer Andrew Jackson makes of their spoils.

The tin-plate coach, I like that.

Arguably the best item.

It seems to be homemade, as it were.

It's a very elaborate tambourine, I'm bound to say.

You could use it.

I've tried it myself, and it seems all right.

I'm not keen on the little boat, I'm afraid.

Very rustic, naive sort of thing.

Why, it's barely 0 level, is it?

NARRATOR: Eh?

0 levels?

Are we sitting comfortably?

Very exciting.

Oh, here we are.

Wow.

Very exciting.

NARRATOR: Well, just contain yourselves then, because we're starting out small with Michael and James's most modest purchase.

Nice little beaker.

Start me at 25 here.

What?

ANDREW JACKSON: 20 then?

- What?

ANDREW JACKSON: 20 pounds, little enamel beaker.

It hasn't got a bid yet.

15.

Go on.

10.

Start me off at 10 then.

Come on.

Nice little thing.

10 pounds.

10 ponds.

I don't think we've caught anybody yet.

5?

5 pounds anywhere?

5 pounds here?

Well done, this man.

Well done.

ANDREW JACKSON: 5 pounds?

Thank you, sir.

5 I'm bid.

8 if you like.

At 5 pounds in front.

8 anywhere?

I think it's captured the imagination, hasn't it?

ANDREW JACKSON: 5 pounds.

Thank you, sir.

A 2 pound profit is not to be sniffed at.

NARRATOR: No.

Quite a handsome return, really.

Any profit is a good profit.

Yeah.

Why not [INAUDIBLE]?

Nigel's smiling.

No?

I mean, if you make a couple of quid on that cockle bucket, good luck is all I can say.

NARRATOR: This is more like it.

Nigel and Margie's bit of tin-plate Bath elegance.

And the auctioneers favorite, too.

Thank you, sir.

85 I'm bid.

We're in.

ANDREW JACKSON: 90, there.

85 bid.

Is this your lot?

Yeah.

ANDREW JACKSON: Nice piece.

Wow.

ANDREW JACKSON: 85 bid.

90 anywhere?

Last time then.

85 it is.

- Oh, come on.

- 85.

ANDREW JACKSON: [INAUDIBLE] at 85 pounds.

MARGIE COOPER: We've just made 15 pounds.

Well done.

That was your choice.

NARRATOR: It's not quite a chariot, but certainly on fire.

15 pounds.

You've made 15 pounds profit.

Thank you.

Wow, that was your choice.

Did they get the wrong lot number or something?

NARRATOR: Cheeky.

Will they be tilting at windmills with this Don Quixote charger, I wonder?

Well, we were thinking of taking it to Madrid to sell there, but we just didn't have the time.

Difficult.

Moresque charger.

Moresque.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] NARRATOR: Hispano-Moresque.

A very decorative piece.

Start me off at 20.

20.

ANDREW JACKSON: 20 pounds here.

20 pounds to anyone else?

I like the way there's quite a pause.

BIDDER: I'm bid.

Thank you, sir.

20 I'm bid.

ANDREW JACKSON: 25.

20 I'm bid.

25 anywhere?

20 pounds on the right.

20, 20 pounds.

Is there a 5?

20 I'm bid.

Last time, then.

20 quid.

My word, you two.

You're a success story.

All done now?

Thank you, sir.

Hang on.

That was a maiden bid.

A maiden bid.

Well done.

Well done.

NARRATOR: And a 3 pound profit is still a profit.

Just now, who can hear vague traces of skipping reels of rhymes?

Tambourine with black japanned and gilded walls.

The tambourine.

The tambourine [INAUDIBLE].

ANDREW JACKSON: At 25 now.

Is this ours?

NARRATOR: Bang on.

Thank you, sir.

On the internet.

30.

30 ANDREW JACKSON: 5.

Mick Jagger's here, you see.

Mick's on the phone.

ANDREW JACKSON: 30 bid.

5 anywhere?

30 in the room.

Five now.

I knew there would be music lovers here.

I knew.

I knew.

ANDREW JACKSON: Are we all done then at 30?

NARRATOR: Southgate's lapping it up.

You know, we've not lost a penny yet.

That's very good, isn't it?

We should almost take this up professionally.

I think both of you two.

Actually, I know a few people in your business, if you'd like me to.

- Have a word.

Have a word.

That's very kind.

NARRATOR: Time to go back to Nigel's childhood, his Rosebud moment.

I didn't know that London was the center of sledging in this area.

You've got Primrose Hill.

JAMES BRAXTON: Primrose Hill.

Not far away.

People, I don't think, at this time of the year, are in the mood for sledging.

Think ahead.

Think ahead.

Right.

50 now.

- 50?

50?

No.

40 then.

30.

It's a good make, lovely condition.

20.

Sell me off.

20 pounds.

You'll be Sorry you didn't buy it in December.

10.

10 would, if it gets cold.

ANDREW JACKSON: 5, oh.

10, 10 sir?

Jolly good.

15, sir?

10 bid.

15 anyone?

Surely.

Beautiful.

You'll make a profit if you can hang on to it for a couple of months.

Are we all done then at 10?

I'd say you're done.

All done now?

Thank you, sir.

NARRATOR: Well, it seems some lucky sledgers got quite a bargain.

The cockle bucket is next.

Yeah.

I think you're going to run into trouble with that cockle bucket.

NARRATOR: Don't forget the flowers and the one green bottle.

Somehow in that funny shop where we bought the cockle bucket till now, it's a big step forward, really, isn't it?

It makes me feel a little insecure about it.

An Edwardian cockle bucket.

Edwardian?

ANDREW JACKSON: And it comes together with Continental green glass globe.

Right.

30 here.

Do you think cockles-- ANDREW JACKSON: 25.

Oh, God, we're going down.

20.

20 pounds.

Start me off with 20 now.

Cockle bucket.

We don't get many of these.

- And the vase.

15.

NIGEL HAVERS: 15 will be this going down.

What about the glass?

ANDREW JACKSON: 10 pounds now.

Cockle bucket.

MARGIE COOPER: He's not mentioning the glass.

ANDREW JACKSON: 10 pounds.

5.

Ah, there's three fives.

Right, gentlemen with the hand.

We've got three 5s.

ANDREW JACKSON: 5 I'm bid.

10, madam?

10.

15, sir?

15.

There's a green bottle with it.

There's a bottle with it.

ANDREW JACKSON: 15 bid.

20 anywhere?

20.

Yeah, they know that.

[INAUDIBLE] I think they're doing quite well.

20.

ANDREW JACKSON: 5, sir?

20 bid.

5 anywhere?

There's a bottle with it.

ANDREW JACKSON: 20.

12.

NARRATOR: Sometimes gilding the lily doesn't pay.

But I think James is right about those dealers from Morecambe.

If they'd been here, maybe it would have flown off the shelves.

NARRATOR: Something else with a salty tang, Michael's possible masterpiece.

At 25 here.

20.

20 pounds.

Cute little lot.

15 then.

I'll take 15 here.

We were better off with a cockle bucket.

ANDREW JACKSON: 10.

It's going home with you.

I suppose it's five, isn't it?

5 I'm bid.

Thank you, sir.

5.

It's another maiden bid.

5 I'm bid.

10 anywhere?

5 on the right.

Don't stop, sir.

ANDREW JACKSON: 10 now.

10?

ANDREW JACKSON: Are we all done then at 5?

OK, I shouldn't laugh.

Bit mean.

I do feel a bit mean laughing, but-- Stop, stop.

NARRATOR: Well, we are quite a long way from the seaside.

Ah, it looks like time for another of Nigel's collections.

Where's Nigel gone?

I think he's gone to wave our Union Jack that we've bought with our biscuit tins.

I think he's probably gone for a wee.

I've rearranged it.

You've rearranged it.

Terrific.

[INAUDIBLE] displaying.

People were quite disinterested around it.

Are they?

Yeah, then I said, you know, look.

I went, huh?

I knew Nigel well he could go all afternoon down here [INAUDIBLE].

And now it's all changed.

I was rearranging my tins.

How many sir?

BIDDER: 55.

55.

Ooh.

55.

Nigel, well done.

60 then.

55 bid.

55?

ANDREW JACKSON: 60 anywhere?

No 5-ers here, eh?

At 55 I'm bid.

Anywhere at 60, ladies and gents?

Last time then.

At 55.

Well done.

NARRATOR: Whatever he did, it seems to have worked.

Come on, Nigel.

You go off back there somewhere, and then you come back, and then somebody shouts 55.

You know.

I was there.

Come on, no.

Ventriloquism has always been something you wanted to do.

NARRATOR: How about horror movies?

Presenting the screamer grotto chairs.

If they avoid a scary loss, they could well pip their rivals.

Have you ever seen one of those chairs then before?

Yes.

You have?

At Chatsworth House.

Chatsworth.

Oh, I'm surprised you didn't get that in the catalogue.

80 to start.

Interesting.

60 then.

40.

- [INAUDIBLE] ANDREW JACKSON: Start me off with 40 pounds.

40 pounds on these.

30.

Oh, come on guys.

ANDREW JACKSON: 20.

It's descending.

ANDREW JACKSON: 20 at the back.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Here we go.

20 bid.

It's 25 anywhere?

25, sir.

30.

Shout "Chatsworth" suddenly.

ANDREW JACKSON: Thank you, sir.

5.

- Well, this is better.

You've got a bidding war.

ANDREW JACKSON: 30 bid.

5 anywhere?

Surely.

30 on the right now.

NIGEL HAVERS: Oh, I don't believe it, what you're getting for 30 quid.

All done now.

Nothing on the internet?

No.

No.

Thank you, sir.

NARRATOR: That's bound to encourage the others.

I don't know what to say about that except I'm deeply disappointed.

Deeply disappointed.

NARRATOR: Finally, that cabinet, which somehow survived James's attentions.

MICHAEL WHITEHALL: There are people with a love of taste here.

It'll add enormous tone to any home.

Right, 70 now.

70.

A maiden bid, 70.

Go on.

Just throw that voice.

Get them going.

What?

Nigel, get that-- ANDREW JACKSON: 30 then.

30 pounds.

It's got to be worth 30, surely.

A nice little bookcase.

30 bid.

Thank you, sir.

Yes, that's the one, sir.

Yes, 30 I'm bid.

35 now.

40.

35 on this.

BIDDER: 40.

40.

Thank you, sir.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] ANDREW JACKSON: 45, sir.

All done then at 40.

All done now.

NARRATOR: Clearly we've not smashed any records today, but it's certainly a close thing.

I was never very good at maths at school.

No, you weren't.

However I think-- I mean, I'm not great.

I mean, I can work out 10% of anything.

Otherwise, I'm not bad, really.

But I have a feeling that we might have just clinched it.

NIGEL HAVERS: You charge me 12 and 1/2.

That was a special rate.

NARRATOR: Nigel and Margie started out with 400 pounds, and after auction costs made a loss of 114 pounds, so they finished up with 286 pounds.

While Michael and James, who also began with 400, made a slightly smaller loss after costs of 92 pounds.

So with 308 pounds left, they are today's top team.

We were cautious.

We were cautious.

Oh, I'm so, so sorry.

Margie, darling.

If only you'd been on my team, it would have all been so different for you.

Now, go on.

Hogging the camera.

Go on.

Never.

NIGEL HAVERS: Bye-bye, James.

Goodbye.

Lovely time.

NARRATOR: Now, what was Nigel saying about playing the cad?

NIGEL HAVERS: I'm keeping this car.

I just think it's rather me.

I think it suits you some.

Do you?

Yes, I do.

[MUSIC PLAYING]