Voiceover (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts.

That's cracking.

VO: With £200 each.

Wonderful.

VO: A classic car and a goal - to scour Britain for antiques.

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

I'm all over a shiver.

VO: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

No brainer.

Going, going, gone.

VO: There'll be worthy winners and valiant losers.

So, will it be the high road to glory... Push!

VO: ..or the slow road to disaster?

How awfully, awfully nice.

VO: This is Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah.

VO: I cannot believe it!

We're dishing up the final portion of our road-tripping spectacular with giggly auctioneers Paul Laidlaw and Claire Rawle.

For a big finale, Paul's on the attack.

Fight them on the streets, fight them on the beaches.

Yeah.

Fight them in the auction room.

Yep, yep.

VO: And he's developed a special tactic for disarming his opponent.

What he eats... can't tell you.

It's not nice.

You don't like my garlic aftershave after all.

It just comes out your pores, curry, garlic.

VO: Yuch.

From her original £200 Claire has £459.90 stuffed in her old bag.

Paul also began with £200.

He's soaring like an eagle and so far is the auction hat-trick champ with a mighty jackpot of £882.90.

He's loaded!

The fruity and peppy 1968 TVR Tuscan is spinning them around town and dale.

I've got to win!

Yeah.

Not that I'm desperate or anything.

No!

No, no, no, no.

Not that I'm competitive, she says.

It's not about the winning, it's not about the winning.

No, no, no.

VO: Yeah, it's the taking part.

Anyway Paul and Claire set off from Wooler in Northumberland.

They began in the northeast of England and have snaked through South Yorkshire headed for their final destination of Stamford in Lincolnshire.

The town of Matlock in Derbyshire is where we shall begin and we will have the grand auction finale later in the town of Stamford.

But I suppose, oh, sorry.

Morning Mr magpie, magpie, magpie.

Oh dear.

That's not a good sign, is it?

Oh no, no the magpies are haunting me.

This is not looking good.

VO: Come on, Claire, I'm sure your luck will change for the better.

Maybe.

You're the first to shop in the beautiful Derbyshire town of Matlock.

Let's have a try in Quirky Antiques.

I'm just going to enjoy myself today.

He can do what he likes.

You know, it's Paul Laidlaw at the end of the day, you know.

He's just, he's just Paul Laidlaw.

So, I think I'm going to have fun.

I'm just going to have fun.

VO: That's the spirit, old girl.

Now, what's this you've found?

So that is Chinese cloisonné.

I noticed another little vase on my walk round.

Some of the early stuff makes huge money now.

This has got a biff on the shoulder, erm...which makes a lot of difference to value.

But the intricate work, where they, they have the copper body and then they lay down lines and then fill it with enamel, in these wonderful, intricate decorations, ..and then fire it to give it the sort of final glaze.

Lovely work.

And they've been doing it for centuries in China and Japan.

VO: Priced at £12 it could be a good little purchase.

Not popular today though.

VO: Anyway, Paul meanwhile has made his way to the city of Sheffield and he's on the prowl for antiques.

He's rolling in it, he's just a few pounds shy of 900.

Oh, loving the waistcoat.

I'd love...

I'd love to end this week with a four-figure profit.

How cool would that be?

£1,000.

So, yeah, I am going to push myself to try and over five lots make a £150 profit.

OK?

Watch me.

VO: We will.

Let's leave money bags to stalk his prey.

Claire's still in Matlock.

Now, how is she getting on?

Do you know, that's really pretty.

I'm probably not going to be able to afford this one.

DEALER: You might be surprised.

VO: Oh!

Whoops.

Didn't see you there Kelvin.

Please have a look at the price ticket.

Oh, OK. Oh, and it's yew wood.

KELVIN: People are always looking for a little piece of furniture to fill a little hole.

Yeah.

And they think they'll get something which is practical and if in future they can move it to another house, even if they're downsizing...

Yes.

It's a useful piece of furniture which'll stay in the family for quite a lengthy period of time.

Yes, yes.

Yeah.

And it's pretty.

It is pretty.

VO: Kelvin's good at his sales pitch.

At £195 though, it'll be a considered purchase.

Claire checks out vase number two.

You've got the similar type of decoration.

Butterflies amidst flowers.

Now, then... Let's just have a good look round and see if there's any horrible damage.

Dent there, it's not too bad.

Yeah, we're going back to the early 20th century, so, you know, we've got some age here.

I might be able to do something with the two of those, maybe.

VO: Kelvin, where are you?

Kelvin, I've spotted a couple of small things.

So there's this little cloisonné vase, and there's a little cloisonné pot over the other side.

Yes, yes, yes.

Now, the pot has got damage to a couple of places on its shoulders.

That's marked up at £12.

Yep?

This is marked up at 18.

So, with my sort of grasp of maths, I think we're about 30, aren't we?

That's correct, yes.

So, what what would your very, very, very, very best price be?

I think around about £25 for the pair.

OK. Would you consider coming down to 20?

Can I tweak it down just a little bit more?

I think if we said 22 I'd be happy.

22, you reckon?

That's like £18 for that one and £4 for the other one.

So, you're virtually getting the other one for nothing.

So, suddenly it's sounding a whole lot more attractive.

OK.

I think I'll do that.

OK.

Thank you very much indeed.

That's lovely.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

VO: One deal down.

What about the writing desk?

I mean, that's at 195, so what would your very very best be on that one?

I think I know where we're going here, Claire.

Yeah.

Shall we just say 150 now?

OK, I'm not going to split around.

150 it is.

OK.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

VO: A £45 reduction on the Victorian writing desk and £22 for the couple of cloisonné vases.

Nice work there, Clairey.

Back in Sheffield, Paul's still browsing his first shop.

Shiny back.

Ooh.

VO: And it looks like he's found something.

Label says "unusual monkey devil candlesticks".

That's not a monkey devil.

That's a Lincoln imp.

Is it not?

I sincerely hope so or I am a Scottish berk.

VO: (CLEARS THROAT) The Lincoln imp comes from a 14th century legend where a pair of imps caused mayhem at the city's cathedral.

Danny's on hand to help you with the price.

Now, ordinarily Lincoln imp on your souvenir doorknocker or letterknife or keyring fob is junk.

These aren't quite junk.

If you look at the base, look at the quality of the casting and these almost green men type masks.

That's good work.

DANNY: It's good quality.

PAUL: I couldn't model that.

DANNY: Good quality.

Date, no later than the 1920s, probably 1920s, but potentially late Victorian.

Yeah I would say late Victorian.

Yeah.

VO: They sport a ticket price of £30.

PAUL: Do you think 20 could buy them?

22.

I'll squeeze 22.

Och, do I want to just plump for them and then that's one in the bag?

Yeah, I do.

Job done.

Sweet.

VO: A pair of Lincoln imp brass candlesticks for £22.

That's the first of the Laidlaw purchases.

Claire's travelled south to the town of Belper in Derbyshire.

VO: Once famous for nail making, don't you know.

The Gatehouse has over 12 dealers selling their wares and Claire's ready to spend.

This attracted my eye.

There's sort of unusual things in this cabinet.

There's some photograph holders.

I like those.

Sort of deco look about them.

VO: And it's priced at £75.

Now, we know you're partial to a walking stick or two.

That's a nice one.

I like the look of the handle, and the feel actually.

It's nice.

It's got a nice patina.

It's got a silver collar on it.

And actually it's just a little bit like what's sometimes known as a Sunday stick.

So, if you're not playing golf on a Sunday and you're going for a walk, but you feel like tapping a ball around when you're not really supposed to just use the end.

It's quite nicely weighted, that one.

What have we got on it?

The silver's dated London, 1901.

So, it's nice.

It's right at the end, sort of Victorian, Edwardian period.

£40.

VO: Dealer Charles is on hand to talk money.

Ooh, Charles.

I've seen a couple of things I'm quite interested in, so I wondered if I could get your help on them a bit.

Yeah?

Both are in this corner at the moment.

Right.

I've got, there's the art deco, em, French... CHARLES: Picture frame.

CLAIRE: Picture frame.

Also, I quite like, em, this walking stick.

VO: Let's get a closer look at the art deco photo frame first.

I like the fact that it's actually in good order, that the base hasn't been damaged or chipped, which it so often has been.

I like the color of the leaping gazelles.

I like the shape of them.

They're very deco.

I think they appeal to today's market, because they're not fussy.

VO: Charles has a word with the dealer who is willing to accept £60 for the picture frame and 30 for the walking stick.

You don't think you could squeeze him down to 20 then?

CHARLES: For that?

CLAIRE: Mm.

He's a big bloke, but I'll go and ask him.

VO: Fingers crossed.

Right, how have you done with your squeezing?

Good news.

If you take the two, yes, you can have that for 20 and that for 60.

Excellent.

Good man!

That's a deal.

Thank you very much.

Excellent.

VO: £80 for the art deco photo frame and the unusual walking stick.

VO: Meanwhile Paul has travelled to the town of Chesterfield in Derbyshire.

It's here that the county's largest church has a curious world-famous landmark studding the horizon.

The aptly-named Crooked Spire perches precariously on the mediaeval church tower and is a hot topic of folklore as to why its form should be this way.

The Church of St Mary and All Saints hails from the days of the 13th century and although there are several crooked spires throughout the world, Chesterfield's is the only one in the UK and boasts the greatest lean and twist of them all.

Paul is meeting with church warden Colin McKenna to get to grips with this quirk of mediaeval engineering.

Look, I have beheld that spire from a distance, but my word, up front it is a sight to behold, is it not?

COLIN: Spectacular, isn't it?

VO: And Paul's got the question that we've all been wondering.

It wasn't intended to look like that?

Now, that's where the stories start.

Because there is a degree of opinion that says this is completely accidental, and then there's other opinions that say no, actually it was intended to be twisted.

The one thing that's for certain is the lean was not intended to happen.

VO: Currently the spire leans just under three meters to the southwest, that's nine and a half feet in old money.

Time to venture inside.

Oh, Colin, what an interior.

And I smell the incense.

COLIN: It's interesting that you mention that, Paul, because therefore brings in one of the tales about the spire.

One day the devil was on his way somewhere, and he stopped off at the spire to get his breath back.

The smell of the incense wafting up from the service made him sneeze so violently that he spun round and twisted the spire as he twisted.

PAUL: Oh, fantastic!

VO: Feeling brave Paul?

Who does not, who does not want to do such... Do you want to go first?

I think I do.

My word, spiral staircase.

We've lost our handrail and it's getting a bit cozy now, Colin.

It gets narrower, Paul.

VO: Don't tell him that, Colin.

Oh, I can, I can see through the floorboards to the belfry.

Is this right, Colin, yeah?

It's very safe, don't worry.

VO: I think he already is.

Oh my word!

Look at that.

COLIN: The inside of the famous crooked spire.

There's a forest up there.

It actually looks like a jumble.

It's difficult to discern geometry.

VO: The spire was built not long after the Black Death which is likely to have meant a loss of skilled craftsmen, leaving the job to be completed by novices.

COLIN: So, nobody knows for sure whether this is what it would've looked like had it been built by the master craftsmen right from the beginning.

Or is it a result of that mixture of skilled and unskilled work?

VO: But the inside only tells half the story.

But to get a true sense of what the spire looks like, we need to go outside.

VO: You're a brave man, Paul.

PAUL: OK, that's a bit high.

VO: Very!

Hold on, let me just get my bearings.

OK.

It's a view.

I'm gonna give you that.

It's a beautiful view, isn't it?

Come this way.

I've got sort of sensations in my legs, telling my brain... Make the move.

..you shouldn't be up here.

Oh, this is better, the further away from the parapet.

That's it.

Oh, did, did, did, did, did, did.

Paul.

Oh, mu... Have I got to do this?

Yes.

Oh, my word, that's amazing!

Oh.

(LAUGHS) It...

It is something else.

I'm not going to forget this experience, and I thank you for it.

Fascinating.

Oh, and borderline overwhelming.

Sir, thank you very much, but it's time to head south.

It's a pleasure, Paul.

Let me lead the way for you.

Please.

VO: He's got some pluck!

Dear oh dear.

Whatever the reason for the formation of this unique church spire, whether it be the sneeze of the devil or unskilled mediaeval workmen, it has survived for over 700 years and is quite rightly a global phenomenon.

Best appreciated from terra firma, though, right Paul?

What a truly exciting day, but the evening is upon us and our duo really need their beauty sleep.

So, nighty night.

VO: Ah, what a beautiful morning and our pair are up and at 'em.

Well, the sun is shining.

I don't know how we did that.

Dunno.

We obviously, we obviously did something good, perhaps.

We're being rewarded for it.

VO: So, where are we exactly?

Lincolnshire.

Us two treasure hunters, you know what we need to be looking for, King John's lost gold, do we not?

Ooh, didn't I tell you... Lost in the wash.

Didn't I tell you?

(LAUGHS) Damn.

God.

Is that why it's so heavy in the back?

Yeah.

VO: Oh dear!

Let's remind ourselves of their shopping delights thus far.

Claire is determined to go all out on the last leg of the road trip.

She's bought four lots, the writing desk, two Chinese cloisonné vases, an art deco photograph stand and the late Victorian Sunday stick.

Claire has £207.90 for the day ahead.

VO: Our current leader Paul has only bought one lot, the pair of Lincoln imp brass candlesticks and has, wait for it, £860.90.

Better start spending, fella.

Claire's travelled to the Lincolnshire village of Stickney.

Clutterbugs is the next emporium for this road tripper to have a gander in.

If she can get in, that is.

Aah, that's better!

So, Alan, this is my last shop of the week.

Oh, right.

You can have a bit of a rest now then This is it.

Oh, no, no, no.

I've got to find the thing.

VO: Indeed not!

Claire wants to take a good fight to her chum Paul.

I think I might avoid the crested china this time, I came a bit of a cropper on that.

Oh no.

That'll teach me a lesson.

VO: Best forgotten, my love.

CLAIRE: That has caught my eye.

It's brass.

It would be very nice if it was silver, but then it would be very expensive.

It's beginning of the 20th century, into that Edwardian era.

Things are slightly less fussy than the Victorian era.

Almost harking back to a Georgian type style really.

I rather like that.

I know people don't like polishing brass and copper these days.

But I think sometimes they make exceptions with inkwells.

OK, yeah, Edwardian ink stand.

£45.

I'm just gonna have a very quick look at the base.

Yep, nice quality.

Should be nicely finished.

VO: Time then to chat money with Alan.

This little desk stand.

Yes?

That's a pretty little thing.

You've got £45 on it.

Yeah.

I wondered what your very, very, very, very, very... My very, very... Em, I'll touch your hand for 30.

Could we get nearer 25?

Could we go a bit higher than that?

(LAUGH) No, I'll meet you in the... 28, there.

28.

28's a deal, then.

Yeah, that's great.

Thank you very much indeed.

Good, well done.

Lovely.

Thanks very much.

Thank you.

VO: And the brass ink stand is Claire's fifth lot for £28.

Meanwhile, Paul's travelled east to the town of Louth in Lincolnshire.

Uh-oh, he's got the swagger of a sergeant major.

He's got over £800 to splash.

And this shop is huge!

There's a plan, you know that.

There's a way to do this.

VO: As I've said already that waistcoat is spectacular.

I want one.

Come here.

VO: Oh, hello!

This is something I love.

Look at the furniture.

Behold a pair of interwar cinema folding benches.

How cool are they?

Seriously.

Who does not want the home cinema room with pukka seating?

I love this.

Look at this.

Got my popcorn.

Star Wars.

(GIGGLES) VO: The cinema seats are evoking old memories with our Paul.

Mind, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but a certain picture house in Manchester, where my girlfriend studied, my now wife, there was a full period cinema.

This is in the late 1980s, now, the back row, the benches, paired up, no arm rest in the middle.

VO: Hey, hang on.

Do we want to hear this?

Happy days, but you had to get there early to get them.

True story.

VO: Oh, you sauce pot, you.

Uber cool, are they not?

But seriously, your application there... and here's me getting all romantic, am I not?

I'm reliving my youth.

Pricetag... 1930s cinema seats, happy with that.

Sale?

The pricetag says sale.

£100.

£100 in the sale.

Can I buy them, mum, can I?

Can I?

Oh, mum, can I?

My own pocket money.

Oh, I love them.

VO: That's an understatement, then.

Where's Sandra to talk cash?

They are priced at £100 at the moment.

Right...

I can phone the dealer.

VO: Fingers crossed then, Paul.

Thanks, Mel.

Alright, then.

Bye-bye.

The best she can do is 95.

I love everything about this place and I also love the fact that I've just bought a pair of inter-war movie seats.

SANDRA: Well done.

PAUL: I love them.

SANDRA: Good choice.

PAUL: I kid you not.

Thank you.

VO: What a romantic!

One purchase down.

Fueled by his excitement, he's got his hands on something else.

Why is there no price on that?

Oh, there is.

Halberd, £10.

Well, a Halberd is what I thought that was, but your... ..ash, I guess, shaft, fits it frighteningly well.

VO: Now, if you're wondering what the heck of halberd is, I'll tell you.

It's the melding of two weapons - the axe and the spear.

PAUL: Back in 1700, or 1680, your town guardsmen or your militiamen, would be standing there and if you're causing a disturbance or you're threatening my town's kin... VO: Crumbs.

..and I think at some stage this was found and somebody thought, do you know what?

That would be pretty handy for clearing the weeds and they've put this shaft on it.

And I'll have no doubt there is wishful thinking... ..this is not what you are seeing now.

That's what that is.

That at £10 is sold.

VO: No messing about there, then.

And you won't believe it, but he's found something else.

That one tickles my fancy.

Yes... Can we run the numbers?

75 on that?

I can take off 10%, so...

Which is seven and a half quid, 67.50... ..which makes that... 67 and a half quid, which rounds to 65 nicely.

We're not dealing at two and a half quids, are we?

Possibly, but I'll have to check.

Can you firm up on that?

The dealer is here at the moment, Ah, brilliant.

..so I'll just go and check.

Brilliant.

VO: While Sandra finds out a price, what have you got there?

A late Victorian plant pot.

Who cares, Laidlaw?

You should care.

VO: Oh, lordy.

Really?

I'll give you a name.

The Burmantofts were tile manufacturers.

In the late 19th century, they moved into what we can call art pottery, based out of Leeds.

Actually highly collectable.

Quite an important name and no condition issues.

Paul?

Sandra.

OK, I've spoke with the dealer and the dealer has agreed to round it down to 65.

The dealer just sold a Burmantofts.

Burmantofts.

VO: What a mighty haul of treasurers.

As well as the Burmantofts hunk of pottery, he's also got the cinema seats for 95 and the halberd head for £10.

The village of Donington in Lincolnshire, is next on Claire's list.

This sleepy locale is the birthplace of a daredevil explorer that would sail the high seas and become the first man to fully circumnavigate Australia.

That man was Captain Matthew Flinders.

Born in the late 18th century, his love of adventure led to an extraordinary career in the navy from the tender age of just 15.

Claire is meeting with distant relative John Flinders at the village church, where Matthew's family are buried.

As a young boy he wanted to get out and see the world, get beyond the quiet areas here in Lincolnshire?

He certainly did.

He had a cousin, who was a lieutenant in the navy and he sailed in the south seas and Jamaica and he came back and he'd tell Matthew tales of the dare and do of what was going off down there.

VO: In 1792, Matthew joined the infamous Captain William Bligh and set sail for the south seas.

Whilst receiving first-class sailing tutelage, Matthew honed his skills as an exceptional cartographer.

The tropical journeys with Bligh all served to help prepare for Flinders' first voyage to Australia, aged just 21.

Matthew fully charted the coastline of Tasmania, Van Diemen's Land and produced charts of the same.

In doing so, in circumnavigating, he also proved it was an island.

This is a great discovery because prior to this date all vessels sailing in that area had to go much further south and sail round Van Diemen's Land, Tasmania, to get to wherever they were going.

VO: Flinders' exceptional charts and maps from his travels around Van Diemen's Land ensured his captaincy of the appropriately-named Investigator, a ship that set sail for little-known New Holland, Australia's original name.

The year was 1801.

CLAIRE: Am I right in thinking that at the time they didn't know Australia was this huge landmass?

They thought it may be just be a series of islands?

Well, it was a huge landmass.

They thought it may be split in two, the whole area of Terra Australis is the southern lands.

Nobody knew how great it was, how big it was, where it went.

VO: Matthew had been married to his wife Ann for just three months when he was due to sail to Australia once more.

Like the other high-ranking officers, he wanted to take his wife with him.

The Lord of the Admiralty came on board the ship and found Ann in his cabin not wearing her bonnet.

This was a very, very bad thing in the day.

They told Matthew quite sternly that it was not right, it wasn't to happen, and if he thought his wife was going to Australia with him, then it wasn't going to happen and if he didn't like it, then he wasn't going either.

Oh my goodness!

And they would give the captaincy or the command of the ship to someone else.

VO: With a heavy heart Matthew chose to sail without his wife and would not see her again for nine and a half years.

During this time, Matthew's attentions were completely focused on creating meticulous accounts of his exploration which were compiled in three large volumes.

Well, these are very, very special.

These are Matthew's first editions of the Voyage to Terra Australis.

The books themselves are all the narrative of his journeys whilst circumnavigating Australia.

There are pictures and plates within them.

On board the Investigator, Matthew had two artists, also naturalists, and miners, who would be doing geological surveys.

They are very, very precious, these.

The charts, up until a few years ago, they were still being used.

They were incredibly accurate and I think the Australian navy did satellite charts themselves and put them against Matthew's and they were almost identical.

VO: The tragedy is that Matthew didn't live to see the works in print.

They were published the day before he died, in 1814, aged just 40.

JOHN: You could say that the places he found and the things that he did are comparable with William Bligh, James Cook, so it's time that he was fully recognized.

VO: Although largely forgotten here, Flinders is much celebrated down under.

Regarded as a national hero, his name features throughout Australia and there are over 100 statues in his honor.

The first man to circumnavigate Australia and provide maps with such startling precision, Matthew Flinders rightly and richly deserves a place in British history as one of our greatest explorers.

Meanwhile Paul has travelled southeast to the seaside town of Skegness in the Lincolnshire, for his last shop of the trip.

Paul's pockets are jangling with £690.90.

What can he find in here?

Hiya, how are you?

Is it Des?

Yes it is, yeah.

Good to see you.

I like that one, look at this.

DES: D'you want me to take your coat?

Very smart.

Gloves off, thank you very much.

DES: Very smart.

Des, you're a gentleman.

By the way, charm will work.

DES: Will it?

Discounts work better.

That was very smart.

(LAUGHS) VO: (CACKLES) Just like Sid James.

And look, he's rooted something out.

Des, can I have a look at your wee toy projector?

Yeah, of course you can.

50 things do you think?

50s?

I think it's 50s.

Yeah.

If I remember right, there's a couple of slides in with it.

Oh my, I did not expect that.

What on earth...?

That's got more than a couple.

I'll pop that there for now and try and...So, it is Film Stips Projector.

VO: In the 1950s, Bedfordshire company Film Stips, made pocket viewers along with their exciting film strips, that featured everything from the royal family to gunfire westerns.

They were an instant hit with young cine-buffs.

I'm opening this.

Are we doing this?

DES: Open it.

Open it up, nothing to lose.

Surely there's a torch missing.

There is no source of illumination.

VO: That might be a problem, but what about the strips?

It's Laurel and Hardy!

DES: Yes, not for sale.

(LAUGH) Way Out West.

It's the stills from Way Out West.

Oh, Des, it's just getting better for a geek like me.

The mystery of flying saucers.

Come on.

(LAUGHS) Oh, it's proper flying saucers as well!

Des, what was the pricetag on that?

DES: Erm, it's gone up since you started looking.

VO: Haha.

A pair of jokers.

Ten film strips, 18 quid.

What could that be?

What about 15?

I think you've got me, Des.

Superb.

VO: Well, that was a joyful experience and our shopping trip is now at an end.

Along with the little projector and film strips, Paul has a total of five lots.

The fear pair of Lincoln imps brass candlesticks, the cinema seats, the halberd head and the Burmantofts pot.

Paul has spent a total of £207.

Claire decided to have fun on her road trip finale.

She also has five lots, the Victorian writing set, two cloisonné vases, an art deco photograph stand, a Sunday stick, and an Edwardian brass ink stand.

Claire has spent a total of £280.

Thoughts please on one another's goodies or baddies.

The desk, that is a fine piece of furniture.

Now, the thing I like and I know that he's going to be absolutely dead right on is that halberd.

The Sunday stick, the walking stick-cum-golf club.

Pleasing, delightful.

His brass candlesticks, the Lincoln imps, well it could be a bit like coals to Newcastle we'll have to wait and see.

VO: My goodness, the auction is upon us.

Claire and Paul are travelling to the Lincolnshire town of Stamford.

We've made some money, you and I. Yeah!

Yeah!

What are you thinking to that?

That's always a nice feeling as well.

Nice, slightly satisfactory, smug feeling comes over you.

We could almost do this for a living, you and I.

You reckon?

(LAUGHS) VO: I thought you did.

Bateman's Auctioneers is a well-established firm in the area and sells up to 10,000 lots per annum.

The colorful David Palmer is our gavel basher today.

Spill it about our duo's lots please, David.

Two old cinema seats.

I mean, the time for those has gone.

The gazelle photograph stand of the 1930s, I guess, mid-1930s, is wonderful.

I hope that this makes the most money of all the items today.

VO: This is it.

The auction finale is about to begin.

We're also live on the internet.

Oh, that's a bit harder than I thought it was going to be.

It's like a correction chair, good for the posture.

Very good, yes.

Yes.

VO: Well, we don't like slouching.

Paul's pair of Lincoln imp brass candlesticks are up first.

Claire, it's been magic.

It's been a pleasure.

Good luck.

Yeah, and you and you.

Anyone 20?

20 quid.

20 I'm bid.

Down there at 20.

22 here.

25?

25.

It goes at 25.

28, 30.

30.

Oooh... Net, go 32.

32, 35.

No chance.

At 32.

(LAUGHTER) At £32 now.

And I sell at 32.

Anyone else?

Well done, you.

VO: The little imps made you a good profit.

Well done, Paul.

Claire's Edwardian ink stand is next to go under the hammer.

I should be really bitterly disappointed if those horrible imps make more than my ink stand.

And I'll be like this... VO: Not very attractive, Paul.

Anyone 20?

20 I'm bid.

Down here at 20.

Anyone else?

Who's at 20?

In the sofa at 20... You at 20.

It was a cheap buy.

VO: Don't worry, Claire, you've got another four lots to go.

Paul's projector next.

Do you predict a profit?

£20.

Come in at 20 again.

And the original box.

20, anyone 20?

You bidding on the phone?

Phone bidding?

It's probably from another planet.

At 20.

I'm selling on the phone at 20.

A phone bid.

You could possess this and take it home.

Hours of fun.

I sell at 20, then.

With the phone at 20...

Done and finished at 20... VO: Someone loved it enough to give you a fiver profit, Paul.

Oh wow, that was...

I thought that was really exciting.

It didn't go anywhere, but a telephone bid and then nothing.

Tumbleweed.

Yeah.

VO: Come on, it's still a profit.

Claire's Cloisonné vases next.

£30.

Oh, 30 on.

I wish I'd said more.

Take a two.

Anyone else?

I sell at 30.

Two, if you like.

These are rare.

All done at 30.

Is that it?

32 net.

Under bidder, go again.

At 32.

Yeah, go again.

I sell then, at 32.

Original bidder, have another go.

At least he's pushy.

VO: Well done, Claire.

Nice little earner.

That was alright, it was a profit.

You've nothing to grumble about there.

No, no, that's fine.

That's fine.

VO: It surely is.

Paul's Burmantofts jardinière is next.

Oh gosh.

It's like a big old strawberry.

At 50.

30.

30 I'm bid.

30.

Five.

40.

At 40 now.

Take five again.

At 40.

Five, if you like.

Are you bidding over here?

At 40.

Is that it at £40?

The strawberry pot goes at 40.

Nobody else at 40?

And I thought that was cheap.

Yeah... VO: Someone's definitely got a good buy there.

Claire's Sunday stick is next up.

Start me at 50.

Straight in at 50.

40, then.

40 I'm bid.

40, five.

50 now.

And 50.

Take five.

Done then at 50.

Five.

This is probably someone really famous.

55 on the phone.

The phone at 55 now.

And I sell at 55.

The phone at 55.

It's still a result.

VO: Stating the obvious, Paul.

And it's the best profit so far.

Wait for it... Paul's beloved cinema seats next.

Come in at £40.

40 I'm bid.

40.

Five.

50.

55 now.

The bid's at 55 and take the 60.

At 55.

Anyone else?

All done at £55... VO: Oh dear, sad face for Paul.

That bidder has got one heck of a bargain.

You like them.

Yeah, I love them.

It's all that matters.

I'd buy them again, yeah.

VO: Claire's photo frame is next.

Come in at £30 for it.

30 I'm bid.

30.

Two, 35.

38, 40.

45, 50.

You at 50, 55.

60.

65, 70.

75 now.

At 75.

You.

You bidding again?

At 75.

Well done.

80.

At 75.

Done then at 75.

Anyone else?

At 75, 80.

85.

Internet's come in.

At 85.

Done then, at 85.

They look almost alive.

At £85... That's more like it.

Yeah, that was good.

VO: Another chunky profit, Claire.

Well done.

Justice, justice.

Yeah.

I think so.

VO: Paul loves the next lot.

It's his ancient halberd head.

Anyone 30?

£30.

30 I'm bid.

The net at 30.

Take a two now.

And I sell at 30.

Two, if you like 32.

In the room at 32.

35, 38.

At 38, 40.

The net at 40.

Take your five.

Are you bidding?

If you breathe, I'll count it as a bid.

45.

At 45.

50, the net at 50.

Breathe again, sir.

At 50.

I'm selling on the net then, at £50.

VO: That's more like it, Paul.

Well done.

Yeah, you made money on it.

VO: Now it's Claire's Victorian writing desk.

And it's the last lot.

Oh, of the whole thing!

80 for it.

Try 80.

80 on...

The net straight away.

80 on the net.

You go 85.

85 in the room.

Room at 85.

90.

95.

At 95.

100.

110?

At 110.

Back in the room now at 110.

Sell then, in the room.

At £110... Well, that's not too bad.

VO: Loving your optimism, Claire.

Shall we go?

Should we go?

I think we should.

Buy one another a refreshing drink.

I think so.

Lead on.

Lead on.

VO: I think you both deserved it.

Thank you.

VO: Claire began the road trip finale with £459.90 and after auction costs, she's made a small loss of £32.36.

Claire's final earnings are £427.54.

Despite winning the auction, she doesn't have enough in her kitty to match the mighty Laidlaw.

For the fifth and final leg, Paul began with a colossal £882.90.

After auction costs, he made a loss of £45.46.

Although today's auction loser, he is the overall victor of this week's trip.

Paul's final earnings are a massive £837.44.

Well done, that man.

All profits go to Children in Need.

Claire, victorious in the last auction.

Oh.

Thank...

Thank you.

..you for being a magic travel companion.

Oh, it's been an absolute joy, it really has.

I am going to buy us a beverage.

Oh, yes please.

A nice cold drink.

VO: What a hoot of a week.

Moo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

The baddie!

VO: We've had some theatre from Paul.

Be gone, braggard.

And don't be back or I'll call the peelers.

VO: Some class from our new girl, Claire.

You twist your bottom round and you put your legs out and then you stand up.

Knees together, dear.

Don't show any knicker.

Oh.

VO: Some excellent discoveries.

I think it's one of the best things I've ever found, road tripping.

VO: Even some that caused a bit of a stir.

This is rather nice, isn't it, this trench periscope.

If you get that, you can wind up Paul Laidlaw.

(LAUGHS) Militaria.

What?!

That's my patch.

Don't go there.

VO: But most of all our road trip luvvies have had a blast.

PAUL: Go on, give me some smug.

CLAIRE: No.

PAUL: It's there.

CLAIRE: No, it's not.

PAUL: It's under the surface.

CLAIRE: No.

I can see it.

It's there, it's there!

(LAUGH) VO: Bye bye, road trippers.

What a laugh.

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