VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts with £200 each, a classic car... CHARLIE: (SCOTTISH ACCENT) We're going roond!

VO: ..and a goal - to scour Britain for antiques.

I want to spend lots of money.

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction but it's no mean feat.

Oh, no!

VO: There'll be worthy winners...

Yes!

We've done it.

VO: ..and valiant losers.

You are kidding me on.

VO: So will it be the high road to glory, or the slow road to disaster?

What am I doing?

You got a deal.

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

It's the beginning of a brand new road trip, way out in the West Country, with seasoned trip troopers Paul Laidlaw and Margie Cooper.

So we've got a whole week together... £200... MARGIE: You are on a journey.

You've got to take what comes.

This could be a highway to hell, Margie.

We both know this.

VO: No, definitely Cornwall, Paul.

It's a very sexy, little 1970 Alfa Romeo Spider too.

What could possibly go wrong?

(TIRES SCREECH) We've got a tractor problem.

VO: Uh-oh!

You're causing an incident.

MARGIE: Shut up!

PAUL: Margie... MARGIE: Listen... PAUL: I'm getting out.

..I'm supposed to be in the antique... PAUL: Deal with the situation... ..not the Monte Carlo Rally.

VO: Lancashire lass Margie loves silver.

She's a dealer, like her granny before her, but she can be a bit, well, what shall we say?

Indecisive?

It turns you into a complete dithering idiot this program.

VO: Ha!

Certainly one way of describing Margie's technique.

VO: Paul, from Scotland, via Cumbria, calls himself an antiques geek.

An auctioneer and collector, he's very keen on arms and armor.

Every rummage is like a military drill.

Clockwise, clockwise...

Very systematic.

VO: He's also quite successful.

PAUL: Treasure to be found.

Yeah, and I've heard that you're a bit good.

Behave yourself!

You're a bit good.

I'll fain modesty and you just keep showering me with that.

Don't start buying medals!

Oh!

VO: Our trip begins close to England's most westerly point, at St Buryan, and heads both north and east.

We then take a roundabout trip through Wales, before arriving in Newent, in Gloucestershire.

Today we're starting out in the county of Cornwall, at St Buryan, and ending up at an auction at Liskeard.

VO: Just a few miles from Land's End, the village is named after the 6th century Irish missionary St Buriana.

Ha!

Who once ministered where the parish church now stands.

Her feast day is the 1st May.

Handy, that.

MARGIE: Here we go.

MARGIE: Ah!

PAUL: That'll do.

The Boathouse.

Here we go.

Thank you very much.

Right.

(METAL TINKLES) VO: Lordy!

Do you need that?

VO: Look, we've only just got started!

I'm going to need a can opener to get out now.

There, I'll leave that with you.

VO: At least it not the wheels... See you later.

Bye.

VO: ..that'll be later.

VO: To the Boathouse.

Hello there.

Good morning.

How are you doing?

Pleased to meet you.

I'm Paul.

I'm Martin.

Good to see you, Martin.

And I'm Tricia.

Tricia.

It's great to be here.

So I get the maritime thing.

Yeah.

Yes.

But it's not just, is it?

TRICIA: No, we try to... PAUL: You've got a good range.

A bit of everything.

Well, if I may, I'll just have a ratch, as I do.

Please feel free.

Do you guys ratch?

Is "ratch" an English term or is it regional?

I've not heard it, no.

It's certainly not a Cornish term.

It'll be Cumbrian, then, which is where I'm based.

Uh-huh?

They do a lot of ratching in Cumbria.

VO: Ratching for the uninitiated, is a slang expression, meaning rummage.

He's as good as his word too.

A Scotch blackfaced ram.

It's the old folk, looking at a wall...

It's here, that little thing that's been missed.

VO: Ha!

Paul has spotted some militaria.

That's a military piece, and it's associated with a Scout regiment telescope.

And these things are associated with snipers and that is uber sexy, in certain quarters.

VO: Hm.

I wonder what those quarters are!

You've not got the scope, have you?

TRICIA: No.

MARTIN: No.

I wish I did have.

Ironically, the tripods are rarer than the instruments.

Mm.

Um...that's a good thing.

I'm delighted to have found that.

But I shouldn't be bigging it up.

It's just a telescope tripod.

That's got 35 quid on it.

Which is inoffensive.

Mm-hm?

Um...can it be less than £35?

I think we could come to some agreement.

I love the thought of an agreement.

On that one, we could do 25.

Well, how about if I say... PAUL: ..that's a deal?

TRICIA: That's lovely.

And we've broken the ice.

Yes.

VO: Yes, I think we're all warmed up now.

Any more, Paul?

We have a cribbage board.

Cribbage, of course, is an archaic card game.

The lid, with these gorgeous micro mosaic, is your playing board.

But we open it up and we do have these lovely little turned and stained pegs.

VO: Cribbage was apparently invented by the 17th century Cavalier poet Sir John Suckling.

He based it on an old English card game called Noddy.

And it's a race round the cribbage board.

VO: Like a sophisticated sort of Ludo.

The label says Anglo-Indian.

I can actually tell you where in India this was made.

VO: Really?

These wares originate in Visakhapatnam.

These veneers are ivory but this is an 19th, or very early 20th century piece, so we are safe and sound.

It is pre the CITES 1947 cut-off.

VO: Hm.

Ticket price is £58.

And I think that is respectable.

I actually think it's rather fine.

I love it.

VO: He's really keen, look.

But to ensure he's had a complete "ratch", he's going to take a quick peek in the storeroom.

Holy Moses!

VO: Aye-aye.

What's up here then, skipper?

That's not a bad wee model, is it?

It's almost certainly 80-year-old.

Could be 100-year-old.

But blokes are drawn to projects, aren't they?

You need somebody looking at that, thinking "I can sort that".

I like it.

It has some charm.

VO: No price on the old wreck though.

Time to talk to Tricia and Martin.

There's a wee pine, scratch-built boat... MARTIN: Oh, the little brig?

It's a brig, is it?

Little brig.

I thought it was a brig.

(THEY LAUGH) Dear?

Cheap?

Cheap.

Very cheap?

Very cheap.

Single digit cheap?

20 quid.

No, that's not cheap.

Oh... Let's open this up.

That sounds good.

I've got a cribbage board over there, right?

Can that be... ..cheap?

Cheap-er?

35 It's 35.

Were you going to suggest the little brig could be 15... Yeah.

..which would make that a 50 quid purchase, the two of them?

Could do, yeah.

You got a deal.

Thank you very much.

I told you I'd buy more stuff.

VO: So, three purchases for £75, and Paul's off to a flying start.

I really enjoyed it.

Mm-hm.

And it's been lovely meeting you.

Likewise, Tricia.

And now we're going to escort you off the premises.

VO: Oh, charming!

Begone!

VO: Margie, meanwhile, is still out on the open road, with what's left of her car making her way east, towards Mount's Bay and Marazion.

Not exactly relishing the experience though.

I've wanted many things in my life, but never a car with no roof on it, because by the time you get from A to Z, you just look a wreck!

VO: Nonsense, Margie!

You look delightful, as always.

And so young.

Let's get back to where Margie's heading though because Marazion looks out on one of Britain's most unusual little communities - St Michael's Mount.

Hi, Margie.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Adam.

Nice to meet you too.

I'm the castle steward at St Michael's Mount.

So does somebody live there?

They do, yes.

It's the home of Lord and Lady St Levan.

They live in there, in the castle at the top.

Yeah.

We have about...there's about 25 people at the moment.

It varies between 25 and 30 people living in the village, all the workers and the boatmen, so... Oh, right.

That's very romantic, isn't it?

VO: Oh, yes.

Just 400 yards off the Cornish coast, St Michael's Mount is a tidal island, meaning at certain times it can be reached on foot, whilst at high tide only a boat or an amphibious vehicle will do.

Sometimes it won't open at all.

Other days, it can be open for several hours.

So it depends on the lunar cycle.

VO: Islander Adam knows the inconvenience that that can cause.

Yeah, it can be a bit tricky, that for the people living here.

It does get tricky, yes.

Say you're ill or something.

We struggle to get off for our Chinese takeaways occasionally.

VO: This mystical place has been fought over for centuries, and it was here that the very first beacon was lit to warn of the Spanish Armada in 1588.

The St Aubyn family acquired the Mount after the Civil War.

Although for the last 60 years, the island has been owned by the National Trust.

In the summer, we can have up to 300,000 visitors, making their way over to us, but we have had visitors since the bronze age, 2000BC, and there would've been some kind of trading post.

And religion as well probably?

And religion as well.

Pilgrims have been making their way over for many years.

We still have them come over nowadays.

VO: There was once a monastery on St Michael's Mount, and four miracles are said to have happened here.

It got its name and much of its fame, as a pilgrimage destination, from a legendary appearance on this very spot by the archangel Michael in 495AD.

He was seen on the west side of the island, warning some fishermen off the rocks.

He is the... What a lovely story.

..patron saint of mariners.

Has he been seen since?

No, we haven't!

But there's a few images of him in the church, but, yeah, not in person.

VO: Cornwall's certainly got more than its fair share of myths.

The island even lies on one of Britain's most prominent ley lines.

So as well as attracting thousands of Christians to climb its Pilgrims' Steps, the island can also boast a few tall tales.

All the cairns, the piles of rock, and the hills around Cornwall, all are said to have had giants.

Ours at St Michael's Mount was Cormoran.

He wasn't a particularly nice giant.

Yeah?

And one day a young boy, from over in Marazion, called Jack, he decided to come over and cut his teeth on slaying giants.

And the giant is said to be down there.

Jack cut his heart out, threw his heart up the path...

He didn't have a beanstalk as well, did he?

No, he went on to...to beanstalks.

VO: Now, you might not wish to swallow that particular bit of Cornish folklore, but how about a piece of hard evidence further up the hill?

This is the giant's heart here.

They had small, stony hearts.

Went with their small, stony brains.

That's why they were easy to kill, see?

Oh, really?

Gosh, you know a lot about giants, don't you?

ADAM: Yes!

(MARGIE CHUCKLES) VO: Yes.

The steep climb to the summit is worth it when you reach the 14th century church of St Michael.

At 80 meters above sea level, this fine building replaced the original priory, using the very same stones.

This is the center, really.

This is what the Mount has all been built around, it's the heartbeat of the community.

It's the special church at the top.

And this is used by people on the mainland?

We run church services through the summer, kind of from Whit Sunday through to St Michael's Day.

Do you have any...many weddings here?

We do, yes.

We're our own parish, so you tend to have to live on the island.

Mm.

Um... Lord and Lady St Levan's eldest daughter got married here a couple of years ago, and this summer I'm getting married here, so...

I've been invited to get married here as well, so it's kind of a... Oh, that's fantastic.

That's the fairytale story coming out.

That's great.

It's more than you can ever imagine, being a local boy.

That's fantastic.

VO: No mention of how the happy couple hope to leave the island though, but perhaps the bride will wear wellies.

So that's my way out of here, is it, down there?

It is, yes.

The tide's out.

Shanks' pony?

Yeah!

Tide's out.

We'll be walking off, as many people have walked in years gone by.

Yeah, many, many centuries there.

The pilgrims would have made their way to Chapel Rock there.

There possibly was a place for them to hold up on the rock, as you can see.

Really?

Yes.

They would have waited for the tide to go out.

There are times when I've had to run it, when the tide's just touching the causeway.

A sprint.

Oh!

You just get wet feet as you're getting to the far end.

Really?

Oh, that's a bit exciting, isn't it?

VO: I'm not so sure.

It looks like the tide's turning, Margie.

Best get a move on or you'll never reach your shopping.

VO: Paul, meanwhile, with three items already in his bag, has made his way from St Buryan to St Just.

There are some unsainted towns in Cornwall, by the way.

Unlike their neighbors, the people of this pretty town don't really know who their saint actually was.

St Just was definitely the birthplace though of "Elephant Bill" Williams, the British soldier and forester awarded an OBE for his heroism in Burma during World War II.

Nice, clean shoes.

Shop looks familiar too.

Hello.

How are you doing?

I'm Paul.

Vicky.

Nice to meet you.

Good to see you, Vicky.

How are you doing?

PAUL: So this is yours?

VICKY: It is, yes.

All mine.

I see you've had a visitation from our likes before, eh?!

Yeah.

VO: We've been here before.

Oh, with Madeley himself.

Yes.

Did he spend much money?

More than you're likely to.

Don't be booking any holidays!

VO: Vicky's obviously made a bit of a study of our Paul and his methods.

Despite Bygones' blandishments, he already seems to have the more modestly priced items in mind.

VO: Margie, meanwhile, has made it off the Mount, traveling from Marazion towards Redruth.

This place became a boom town towards the end of the 18th century, when the copper ore hereabouts was mined to fuel the Industrial Revolution.

A much more recent export is Mick Fleetwood of Fleetwood Mac.

Wow!

Ah!

Nice and warm!

Uh, lovely, lovely.

Margie, how are you doing?

I'm very well.

And you're Walter?

I am, yeah.

Right on.

Nice to meet you, my love.

You've got very good taste.

WALTER: Have I really?

MARGIE: Yeah, you have...

Your gold chain.

Oh, right.

I've got one of them, look.

My Albert.

I've got a tiger's claw on mine.

Oh, crikey!

Does that bring you luck?

Eh?

Well, I don't know about that.

Well, it might've done, you're here!

Yeah!

VO: Oh, Walter, you old charmer!

I think those two are going to get on famously.

Thornleigh Trading specializes in some rather nice, and possibly rather pricey, lighting.

But there are many other items here which could tempt Margie.

You know I've only got a tiny, little amount of money?

Have you really?

MARGIE: This is my first... WALTER: Damn!

VO: Is that Margie's cup of tea, I wonder?

Luster.

Is it from the north..?

It's a showman's cup of some sort.

Oh, good.

Isn't that interesting?

Yeah.

But we get a lot of sort of, like, people interested in traction engines and the like down here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yes.

And they love that sort of stuff.

I daren't look at the price, now, you've got... Aw!

95.

I completely had it there.

Hell, it's well overpriced!

VO: If you say so, Walter.

I didn't like it?

Erm... Well, if it is well over-priced.

35 to you.

35.

Where's the saucer?

Yeah, it's flying!

VO: Lusterware is a ceramic with a metallic glaze that gives it an iridescent pink effect.

Some lusterware comes from Sunderland, although this one's definitely from Staffordshire and not very old either.

Founded in 1964?

So that's not that long ago, is it?

Not really, no.

MARGIE: Mm.

Oh, dear.

WALTER: Very rare though.

Right, let's put that as a possible, cuz I do like it.

VO: £35 is quite a price drop, saucer or not.

Walter's got his share of nautical items too, although I've never seen Margie as much of a sailor.

That's to have on a ship, isn't it?

Absolutely.

It's for where they're going.

So that when it goes like that... Yeah.

35 again, if you want it?

I would have thought that that was probably something that you see quite a lot of round here.

Yeah, but they're normally in boxes.

MARGIE: And yours isn't?

WALTER: No.

So I wonder what's happened to that, then.

Went down with the ship!

VO: Ah-ha!

An answer for everything, that Walter!

But what about Paul?

Is he about to spend big in St Just?

Or at least double figures?

This demure lady is a late 19th, or early 20th century, a Belle Epoque desk seal.

She certainly functions as such, because turn her upside down - monogram.

And that font, or script, is certainly to the Victorian taste.

And this is a gentleman's desk seal, OK?

He can get his cheapies whilst sending out his daily correspondence.

What I don't like about her... Well, from here to the other end of the night club she's gorgeous!

Up close and personal, doesn't quite deliver in the execution.

VO: Oh, I think he's smitten nonetheless.

She's got other thing in her favor.

This is going to sound so wrong.

She's cheap!

PAUL: (LAUGHS) She's £12.

£12 for a Belle Epoque desk seal, with a touch of the erotic going on.

That works for me.

VO: Vicky's prediction's eerily accurate.

Worth a gamble?

She is.

How badly wrong can it go at that price?

Exactly.

Erm, and I'm not even going to haggle.

Why be silly over..?

Even better.

Easy as that.

Like putty in your hands!

Exactly!

VO: Oh!

That was a quick ratch!

Thank you very much.

VO: I can think of one road tripper who might be in a very good mood.

What a cracking start to this wee road trip.

Four things in the bag out of the first two shops!

I think we may have set the bar kind of high for my friend Margie!

VO: No pressure, Margie, but getting a move on would be a good idea, especially now that her new best mate Walter's come up with some silver, thank goodness!

Nice little tin...tin holder.

It's on a lady's dressing table...

I couldn't find a mark on it, but I'm... Oh... Well...

It looks as though it's silver.

But it's not overpriced.

VO: The label says £28.

I must check that.

I always do that when I'm buying these.

Quality.

Now then, why is this not marked?

Now, that is interesting.

Have you had a really good look?

Well, you know, I'm getting a bit older now.

My eyesight's not as good as it used to be.

Are you sure, are you sure?

Ah... Found it!

Really?

Really?

I found it!

I think it's 1909.

Well, I'll be blown.

MARGIE: I'll be blown.

WALTER: Well...

But it's not... Let's not get excited, it's not amazing.

No, no.

But it's pretty though.

MARGIE: It is, yeah.

WALTER: Nice and tidy.

But you... Actually, funny enough, you know... A silver collector might like it.

Yeah.

Shouldn't have told you that, should I?

What have I done that for?

I'm being as honest as you now.

VO: Oh, yeah?

Good for you.

I buy and sell these a lot, so, quite honestly, I'd be very lucky if I scraped 20 quid on that.

15 to you.

Yeah, we'll have that.

Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh!

I've made a mistake there, haven't I?!

No, no, you haven't.

VO: Walter's keen prices seem to have put a stop to Margie's indecision for once.

Looks like she might be taking another look at the luster too.

Go on then!

What did we say?

35 for that, wasn't it?

Yes.

30 to you.

Well, then you won't forget the man in Redruth, will you?

Yeah, it's just who the fiddle's going to buy that?

I'm not going to be the laughing stock in the saleroom, am I?

25.

Now, that's guaranteed now, isn't it, now?

VO: Come on, Margie!

He'll be throwing in some tea and sugar next!

You know that woman off Coronation Street called Mavis, MARGIE: do you remember her?

WALTER: Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

She dithered.

That makes me feel like Mavis off Coronation Street.

No!

Leave it out!

20, then, go on.

Go for it.

That's it.

Oh, come on, Walter.

We're being very silly.

I shall have it.

VO: Decisive stuff, you two.

I am amazed at my generosity, you know.

Well, I am too.

But there you go.

So it's 35, if you would.

Good luck, my girl.

Bye, Walter!

Bye, love!

VO: Now time to pick up Paul and chat about Cornish folklore.

I think there are Cornish kilts.

Margie, are you losing it?

VO: No, she's absolutely right, Paul.

I just love a man in a kilt.

Kilts, eh?

Yeah.

I didn't think this...this, eh, trip was going to go this way!

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Life's a journey, Paul.

Sometimes you just have to go with it.

Sweet dreams.

VO: Ha!

Next day Margie's still not altogether converted to the convertible.

I like cars with roofs on.

But, erm, I'm coping with it, you know.

You wear it well.

Do I?

Do you like the windswept look?!

VO: Yesterday Paul grabbed the metaphorical driving seat by acquiring a cribbage board, a desk seal, a telescope tripod and a model brig, as you do.

Any port in a storm.

VO: All for just £87, leaving him with £113 to spend today.

Whilst Margie managed a silver dressing table tidy and a pink luster cup, costing £35 in total.

Where's the saucer?

Flying!

VO: Leaving her with £165 to spend and plenty to buy.

Later they'll be making for the auction in Liskeard, but our next stop is Truro, the county town of Cornwall.

VO: Lovely.

This fine cathedral city can trace its history back to Norman times, and it's turned out several famous sons and daughters over the years.

But Paul's come to the Royal Cornwall Museum to find out about the man who helped Britain map the world.

MARGIE: Right, there you go.

PAUL: Margie... Safely delivered.

Great.

Indeed.

Have a good 'un.

Bye, love.

PAUL: Good luck.

MARGIE: Bye.

Hi.

Sarah?

Hello.

Yes, hi.

Paul, nice to meet you.

Lovely to see you.

I am excited to learn about Truro's intrepid explorer.

Is it Richard Lander, is it?

Yes.

Richard Lander, one of Truro's forgotten heroes.

VO: Yeah.

Richard Lemon Lander, marvelous name, wanted to be an explorer from a very young age, and his extraordinary tale starts when he left his Truro home at the age of nine to walk around 250 miles to London!

Wow.

He found work there as a manservant so that he could see the world, and by 21 he'd already risked numerous dangers and done just that.

It's really in 1825 when his story takes off.

He hears that Hugh Clapperton has been employed by the British Government to try and find the course and termination of the River Niger.

VO: The 19th century marked the start of the scramble for Africa.

The European powers were intent on charting the continent's mighty rivers to fully exploit her resources and British explorers were well to the fore.

So, he convinces Clapperton to employ him as his manservant and so off they go to Africa.

Unfortunately, it ended in tragedy.

All of the party, except Richard Lander, died of fever in the interior of Africa.

And poor old Richard was left on his own and had to travel for seven months back to the coast.

VO: Amazingly, Lander was undaunted by that experience and convinced the British Government to fund a second expedition to the Niger, led by himself in 1830.

He took along his brother and a huge medicine chest which he hoped would prevent tragedy striking twice.

What's really interesting about this is the empty bottles, really, tell the story of the trip.

I mean, fever was rife.

As you can see, a lot of the bottles are empty, including Epsom salts.

Now Epsom salts were used as a restorative after you've had a fever.

Tellingly, this is completely empty.

Oh, my word.

VO: Not all the illness the expedition encountered was entirely natural though.

A letter written by Richard's brother John describes how they were once forced to take poison by a native chief.

He writes, "The sufferings endured were too acute "to remain a great while without some kind of alteration.

"They deprived me of my senses.

"I fancied myself dragged through the air by a party "of demons to torture me with all their weapons.

"I thought they had opened my breast "and were forcibly tearing out my heartstrings.

"The agony was dreadful."

I get that.

I wouldn't like to be in his situation!

VO: Fortunately, what the brothers endured wasn't in vain.

After encounters with dangerous animals and even capture by pirates, they returned to publish their amazing adventures.

In fact, we've got a picture of Richard and John Lander.

Here heading off in their small canoe with the rest of their crew paddling madly away down the River Niger.

VO: The museum even has the baskets the Landers were offered by local princesses as part of a proposal of marriage but did they achieve what they'd set out to do and discover both the course and termination of the Niger?

So here we go.

You can see and follow their journey.

They traveled inland, found the River Niger, traveled down the River Niger to the river mouth here.

People had been trying to find the mouth of the River Niger for years because people believed that it would open up great trade routes into Africa but also for the African people it was really important.

It really helped to end the sale of slaves by convincing African chiefs to keep their tribes to cultivate palm oil as a crop...

I see.

..instead of being sold on as slaves.

So that's why he's a household name in Nigeria today.

My word.

VO: Sadly, Lander wasn't able to enjoy his fame for long, however, because he died a few years later.

He'd returned once more to West Africa to set up a trading mission but a bullet from a tribesman's gun ended his life at the age of just 29.

Amazing story.

A proper boys' own stuff.

I love it.

Thank you.

Sarah, what a pleasure.

Thank you.

VO: Meanwhile, Margie has been blazing a trail once more, heading south from Truro to the mouth of the River Fal.

Look out.

Nice maneuvering, Margie.

Ooh!

A perfect bit of parking.

VO: Oh, dear.

Falmouth has seen more than its fair share of explorers.

In fact, it was here that Charles Darwin and HMS Beagle anchored in 1836 after that famous voyage around the world.

It was also the home of the Falmouth Packet Mail Service.

Talking of packets, Margie's prospects seem to be looking up.

I know the dealer in this shop.

I haven't seen him for many years.

And maybe he won't deny me anything.

MARGIE: (CHUCKLES) VO: Oh, we'll see, then, Margie.

Gosh, I knew this would happen one day.

That I'd walk into a shop and I'd see a friend.

An old friend.

VO: (LAUGHS) Chris certainly has plenty of choice here.

Margie's rival got a bit of a head start yesterday, but this could be where she makes up ground.

I'm with Paul Laidlaw and he's hot on militaria which is a brilliant thing to know about on this trip.

Yeah.

And he digs it out from nowhere.

Well, that's alright, if I just open... MARGIE: Yay!

CHRIS: Get that from the drawer.

Now, you see, he'll know immediately that they're either worth tuppence or 50 quid.

Well, Second World War medals, but they won't excite Paul, I'm afraid.

Oh, really?

You won't upset him with those.

MARGIE: Oh, won't I?

CHRIS: No.

He's laughing up his sleeve.

But I think you'd upset him with those.

Yeah.

These are a company called Holtzapffel.

It sounds German, but they're a London firm, an English firm.

Really?

And they specialized in making stuff for posh people who wanted to do manual work.

They are good things and they'll come up rarely at auction.

I could do those for 75 quid for the three.

If you take my advice, they are a good buy.

They'll make you money.

Oh, Christopher...

If only I believed you.

VO: Ha-ha!

Nice try, Chris, but Margie can vacillate at the best of times and those tools could easily set her off.

Now, this will be much closer to Margie's comfort zone.

£95, though.

It's a typical Edwardian piece of jewelry.

Very, very elegant after all the heaviness of Victoriana.

It's going to be like 1910, something like that.

It's nine carat gold.

Possibly little sapphires, could be topaz.

VO: Ooh.

Margie's spotted that some seed pearls are missing.

Yeah, the gaping holes are a worry.

And what do you think you would like to pay for that?

Well, it's like 30 quid, isn't it?

CHRIS: 30 quid, is it?

MARGIE: Yeah.

I'm going to weigh it.

VO: Ha!

They may be friends, but no-one's getting off lightly here.

4.7 grams.

It's £42.30, the gold value.

Will I be kind?

£35.

I've got to have that, Chris.

CHRIS: OK. MARGIE: Thank you very much.

VO: With Chris's help, she's off and running, plus she's found a little condiment set that could go with yesterday's silver.

I love these.

A little miniature to go on your picnic.

I've got £24 on them.

Yeah.

But, as I say, I'm not so sure I'm doing the right thing.

Tenner.

Done.

Really, really good.

VO: Ha!

Another deal in the old bag.

They're off to the storeroom for still more bargains.

Look out.

We've got some watercolors there which would be cheap.

Piano rolls, fishing stuff, children's books, loads of rubbish.

All prices negotiable.

VO: She's got the collection of posh Holtzapffel tools on her mind, though.

Chris is trying to sell me these tools because he thinks I'll make money on these.

Well, obviously, not a clue about tools have I?

But, having an opponent like Paul, I really think I'd quite like to buy them.

VO: Cor!

Chris doesn't waste a moment.

Are you going to have the Holtzapffel tools at 60 quid?

Well, I just thought you might soften it if I buy something else?

Well, I won't, but... Alright.

But if you buy something else I will make it cheap.

Alright, so let's say yes to the Holtzapffel now.

OK. Good.

Holtz-apple... CHRIS: Holt-zap-ffel.

MARGIE: Sold.

VO: We're getting somewhere.

Tools, brooch and salt and pepper for £105, which leaves next whatever Chris really wants to get rid of.

What about the farmyard down there?

VO: Crikey!

The animals.

Oh, look, he's had it, hasn't he?

It unfortunately looks more like a slaughterhouse than a farm, doesn't it?

MARGIE: (LAUGHS) I'll do the farmyard for a tenner.

Is it beyond it, though, Chris?

Yeah, it is beyond it.

Oh, my Lord!

VO: Come on, Margie, the livestock may not be up to much, but the farm itself isn't too bad for its age.

They look as though they're having fun, don't they?

You can put those games with it, if you want and try and persuade me to keep the price at £10.

VO: Surely that will do it?

What have I done to deserve you today?

Heaven knows.

CHRIS: OK?

MARGIE: Thank you very much.

VO: OK, Roadshow's over, folks.

It's time to get on with the trip.

VO: Braving the wind once more, from Falmouth to Lostwithiel, where both our experts have one last shop.

Famous for its medieval bridge and medieval church, Lostwithiel can also boast a few antique shops.

In fact, I'm sure we've been here before.

Huh!

And there's Paul looking for his shop.

Unlucky.

Well, this is it.

I'm here.

They were supposed to be here.

I hoped they'd be here.

But closed is closed, isn't it?

Well, there's another establishment, I believe, down the road but I think Margie was going there.

So I'm treading on her manor.

I hope she takes this well.

It could be handbags at dawn!

VO: Ah, well, get in quick, Paul, and Margie may never know.

Hello there.

I'm Paul.

Hello.

Pleased to meet you.

Is this your establishment?

JUDITH: Yes.

PAUL: May I have a look?

JUDITH: Absolutely.

PAUL: Absolutely tremendous.

VO: Uzella Court is an antique center, so Judith may need to make a call or two to a dealer depending on what Paul takes a fancy to.

Between you and me, I don't think I'm going to find a killer lot here.

VO: Mm.

It's always a bit of a struggle, isn't it?

Now Margie's turned up.

Full of the joys of spring, look.

Where is it?

VO: I think she's about to get a bit of a surprise.

Margie is coming in now.

Oh, no!

Hi.

Hello.

How are you?

Oh!

How are you, my friend?!

"Who's been sitting in my chair," said Mummy Bear?

How goes it with you?

Have you got the final one?

I'm no further forward.

You?

Got what you need?

Ah, to be honest with you... A G&T?

Oh, Cooper!

Are you serious?

Yeah, I'm feeling quite relaxed.

Oh, please!

Well look, I'm just going to have a little look, but feel free.

I'm being really magnanimous because I've done all my buying.

VO: With Margie in a serene mood for once, happy just to browse, it's Paul who's feeling a bit of pressure.

I'm sure he'll cope, though.

Luckily, Lostwithiel is also a great place to relax.

Clock's ticking.

I'm having a coffee and he's desperately trying to get that last lot for the auction.

Oh, dear.

Cheers, Paul.

VO: He does seem to have narrowed things down, though.

I find myself drawn to this little niche here, surrounded by objects of virtue.

I've got all sorts of things making eyes at me.

The Chinese silver buckle, may I have a look at that, please?

So we have a little belt buckle almost certainly made for Western consumption.

It's cut silver, Chinese, talismanic medallion.

A bit of substance to it.

It's not light.

I actually quite like that, Judith.

Er... That's priced at £32.

What do we think that could be?

I think she'd do 22 on it.

22.

If that's £20, I'd buy it now.

JUDITH: Right.

PAUL: And my work here is done.

OK. Judith, you have been wonderful.

You've worked hard and I appreciate it.

Thank you.

But I'm happy to go with that.

VO: I think we all knew he wouldn't be stuck for long, didn't we?

Wrapped as well, what could I wish for.

PAUL: Lovely seeing you.

JUDITH: Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

All the best, Judith.

Thank you very much.

VO: So, with our shopping done, let's take a look at what they've plumped for.

Paul's got a cribbage set, a desk seal, an army tripod, a model boat and a Chinese buckle for a grand total of £107.

Whilst Margie has her teacup, some posh tools, a dressing table tidy and condiment set, an Edwardian brooch and a toy farm and some games which cost her £150.

So what do Margie and Paul make of each other's choices?

The cup.

The cup's a mistake.

I can't see it.

I don't think it's an auctionable lot, I'm sorry to say.

£20 paid.

I think it's a couple of pounds on a bad day.

That could be a hole.

Some tripod for a sniper's something or other.

I would have walked past that and not had a clue.

But then, bounces back with the toys.

Look, £10 spent.

Original boxes, lead animals... Could be a massive profit.

He could have the edge, couldn't he?

If he's only spent just over £100 and I've spent 150.

VO: After starting out near Land's End at St Buryan and heading all over Cornwall, this leg of our trip concludes at an auction in Liskeard.

Well, it's all a game, isn't it?

Is it a game?

PAUL: You are out to destroy me.

MARGIE: Oh, most definitely.

VO: Ah, that's what we like to see.

Warfare by other means.

Oh, this looks alright.

Yeah.

Parking at door, I like that.

Right, Margie.

Come on.

Your profit's waiting through that door.

MARGIE: (CHUCKLES) VO: Welcome to Clarks of Liskeard, where they've recently sold a fiberglass shark's head and a signed photo of Katharine Hepburn for tasty prices.

Not together though!

I wonder what auctioneer Paul Clark thinks of what Margie and Paul have bought.

I quite like the military stand.

World War I, the date's 1915.

We're expecting that to do quite well.

The farm would struggle if it stood on its own, but the box game that's with the farm should take it up.

But it's an interesting lot.

VO: Oh, Lordy.

Now, eyes down because we certainly have a full house.

I tell you what, it bodes well, the numbers.

It's packed!

I know.

Like sardines.

VO: First, we flog a dead horse - Margie's farm.

PAUL CLARK (PC): There's a couple of bids and I can start at £18.

At 18, 18.

£18 for the farm buildings and all sorts of bits and bobs.

There's some building block games and all sorts.

£18 I'm bid.

£18, 18.

Come on, £18.

All done at 18?

PAUL: You want more than that!

VO: Not an auspicious start.

I'm a bit disappointed, but it's not a loss.

No, absolutely.

Small steps.

Small steps.

VO: Now for Paul's tatty old brig.

Could suit Cornwall.

There's guys out there.

They've got "sea dog" written all over them.

And they're thinking and welling up.

"Arr, lad.

"I remember me first time out on a brig, just like that."

I'm bid £10.

I think it's worth a bit more than that.

£10, I'm bid.

£10.

Come on.

Sorry, 15.

20.

It's with me at £20.

At £20, at £20.

At £20 on commission, are you all done at 20?

VO: That one just scraped home as well.

Well, somebody's got a very nice item there.

VO: The dealer said Margie's Holtzapffel tools just can't fail.

Stand by.

This is the dreaded one.

Is this your biggest spend, by the way?

This is the one that seemed like a good idea at the time.

Holtzapffel...

I don't know how to pronounce that.

VO: Easy for you to say.

Very collectable.

Very collectable.

A tenner, someone.

Come on.

£10.

£10, I've got.

Ten, 12... Straight in, it's off, it's happening!

14.

16.

18.

£18 in the middle of the room.

At £18.

At 18, at 18, at 18.

You're all done at £18?

MARGIE: Oh, you are joking.

VO: No more tools, eh, Margie?

Not even when a friend recommends them.

How much loss is that?

42?

Just a lot.

I think we'll just call it a lot.

VO: Margie's cup now.

Does Liskeard love luster?

I'm very hopeful because it's got a traction engine MARGIE: ..on the front.

PAUL: Oh, yeah.

Because the kind of guys that are into traction engines, they're into tools and things.

Oh, no, sorry, that doesn't work, does it?

An attractive thing with me at £10.

Come on, £10.

With me at 10.

Anyone, 15?

I've got 10.

15 in the room.

At £15.

At 15.

At 15.

Looking for 20.

At 15.

You're all done at £15?

MARGIE: (CHUCKLES) Can I sit down?

Cuz I'm going to.

I think you did well there.

MARGIE: (CHUCKLES) VO: This is turning out into a bloodbath start for Margie.

Three lots ago, he was a "lovely guy".

And I can tell by your eyes, he's dead to you now, isn't he?

I've just gone off him.

VO: Time for Paul's bit of Anglo-Indian sadeli.

Do people still play cribbage?

Aye.

You're talking to a cribbage player.

How very dare you?

Granted, I've not got any mates to play it with.

A couple of bids and I can start at £20.

At £20 on commission for this cribbage board.

At £20.

I need more than this.

£20.

Come on, you lot, wake up.

At £20, it's cheap.

Yeah, wake up.

PC: Are you all done at 20?

PAUL: What?

What?

You are kidding me on.

That's ludicrous.

VO: Someone's got a tricky to pronounce cribbage board for a very nice price.

And after day one, they've made nicht.

Because they're a bit average.

VO: Can Paul's militaria turn it round, though?

I really like this item.

He really likes it.

Bid's with me at £40.

Come on, keep going, come on.

At £40 on commission.

I need a lot more than that.

I need a lot more than that.

Double that.

45, 50.

£5, 55 on the left.

Oh, it's cheap.

It's cheap, it's cheap.

At 55.

55.

I would buy it for this.

At 55, at 55.

It's cheap at 55.

At least it's a profit.

VO: In fact the only profit so far.

But still a bit of a steal.

Retail, that's 250 to 350.

MARGIE: (GASPS) Gosh.

So forgive my disappointment.

VO: Well, at least your Belle Epoque figure came cheap, Paul.

And I'm bid £10.

At £10.

At £10 for the desk seal.

He's going to sell it for £10.

I'm going to lose £2 on it.

£10 only then.

No, he's kidding me on, he's kidding me on.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

12?

12.

Well, 14 with me.

16?

16.

18 with me.

20.

22 to clear it, Rod.

£22 clears it.

Hard work.

£22.

Hard work?

Tell me about it.

At £22.

At £22.

That's alright.

Still cheap at 22.

You're all done at £22?

Better than a loss.

VO: Yes, it is.

We got there in the end, though.

Margie's turn next.

Her combined silver lot.

Stand by.

This has got to get me out of the jail.

VO: I'm crossing my fingers.

In fact, everything, Margie.

Got a couple of bids and I can start at £25.

At £25.

This is straight in.

Is that what you paid for it?

At £25.

It's a nice thing.

At £25.

PC: At 25, at 25.

MARGIE: Please... Oh, God.

Are you all done at just 25?

VO: (LAUGHS) A loss after auction costs.

How will Paul's silver compare, I wonder?

My last crack at this.

And I'm bid £32.

32.

You're in.

At 32 for the silver buckle.

Come on, where's the competition?

He's got more than that.

At 32.

Are you all done at 32?

He's got more than that!

34.

35.

36.

£36 clears the bid.

Are you all done at 36?

OK.

It's my last profit.

At least it was.

VO: He's notched up the profits today.

Finally, Margie's brooch with the missing pearls.

This is my last hope.

I've gone all serious now.

And I'm not laughing.

Several bids and I can start at £25.

There's a couple of faults, but otherwise a pretty thing.

At £25.

Don't mention the faults, mate.

At £25 for the gold brooch.

At £25.

28, 30.

32?

It's a nice thing.

Nice, fixed up.

£32.

At £32.

At £32.

At 32.

Are you all done at 32?

VO: Oh, Margie!

That wasn't at all good, love.

Think, Margie - tomorrow is another day.

And that's the best I can come up with.

I'm not convinced.

VO: Margie began with £200, and after paying auction costs, she made a loss of £61.44, leaving her with £138.56 to spend next time.

Whilst Paul, who also started out with £200, made, after paying auction costs, a profit of £18.46, so he has £218.46 and a lead of almost £80.

Oh, no, look at it!

As though the day couldn't get any worse, Margie.

But there's one good thing.

Go on.

The roof's on the car.

Yeah!

VO: Next time on the Antiques Road Trip, Margie pumps iron... Hey!

..while Paul counts the deckchairs.

My man will be with me in just a second.

Oh, thank you.

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