VO: The nation's favorite antiques experts, £200 each and one big challenge.

Well, duck, do I buy you or don't I?

VO: Who can make the most money, buying and selling antiques, as they scour the UK?

Yee-ha!

VO: The aim is, trade up and hope that each antique turns a profit.

But it's not as easy as it looks, and dreams of glory can end in tatters.

DEALER: 60.

PHIL: Get out of here!

VO: So will it be the fast lane to success or the slow road to bankruptcy?

I'm gonna go and cry!

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Today we're back on the antique hunt with Philip Serrell and Jonathan Pratt JONATHAN (JP): Another day, another dollar.

VO: And this pair are getting to know each other rather well.

Where did you grow up, then, Phil?

PHILIP (PS): Worcestershire.

So you're Worcester born, Worcester bred?

Worcester born, Worcester bred.

Strong in the arm, thick in the head!

JP: (LAUGHS) Yeah!

VO: Jonathan Pratt sometimes has to look long and hard to spot a gem.

What can I see, eh?

VO: Ships?

Philip Serrell, however, can spot a good and often rather odd buy in an instant.

How much are they?

VO: And with his canine skill, he's slowly but surely been increasing his original £200 and now has £301.96 in his pocket... or should I say "piggy"?

Jonathan, however, has been on a losing streak and he only has £150.40 to shop with.

Back on the road in their spiffing 1965 Triumph TR4, as Jonathan's being somewhat outshone by his rival, what's his game plan?

I'm going to just ignore the fact that I didn't do very well in the last auction, or the one before, and I'm just gonna go in in my normal haphazard and jovial approach.

VO: Ignorance may not be bliss, Jonathan.

This week's trip sees the chaps traveling 140 miles from Cockermouth all the way to Wilmslow.

On this leg of their trip, they're heading first to the market town of Darlington, in the Tees valley, and eventually on to their auction in Doncaster.

Darlington was originally an Anglo-Saxon village.

The Stockton and Darlington Railway was opened in 1825 and the town is proud to be the home of the world's first passenger railway.

And there it is.

Ha!

These two passengers are pulling into their first stop.

Jonathan will alight at Darlington and Philip will continue on to his first shop.

Mind the gap!

Time for the spending to begin.

DEALER: Good morning.

JP: Good morning, Gordon.

DEALER: Jonathan, how you doing?

JP: Very, very well, thanks.

DEALER: Good, good.

JP: Well, look at this.

Isn't this a wonderful place?

Jam-packed.

VO: Proving that the antiques business is a small world, unbelievably, one of the first things Jonathan spots is a rather familiar item.

That's an interesting table.

It is a very interesting table, yes!

VO: Who would've thought that the table that Jonathan sold in their last auction for £20 would have ended up in this very shop?!

I could buy it again, couldn't I?!

VO: No!

Best not, Jonathan!

Used to drive a Mini.

Nothing like this, though.

Sorry, I'm... skitting around like a grasshopper.

VO: Maybe Gordon's got an idea.

Walk this way.

Like that.

VO: Ooh - it's an oak bureau, with a price tag of £80.

Nice little thing here.

From the 19... yes, '20s.

'20s, again, yeah.

Nice thing.

Tidy.

Even has little...

Inside here, we've got the manufacturer's little tag in it somewhere.

What does that say, then?

Can't read it!

It's made by Lebus.

Yeah.

JP: OK. DEALER: Nice one.

I've heard of Lebus.

JP: They made a lot of desks.

DEALER: Yes.

They did a lot of the roll-tops.

DEALER: So... JP: So, made by Lebus... And it's all there.

Forget the ticket price - £35 to you today.

I'll be disappointed if you don't double your money on this in that auction down there.

I would take it... JP: Do you hear that?

VO: I did!

How about 25?

Just to really help you out and take it away?

Do 27 and you've got a deal.

Oh, what the heck!

VO: So, one deal down.

But Jonathan quickly has his eye on yet more furniture.

This, you see, this is 19... sort of '60s/'70s... That's into... '60s, yeah.

..and the style is...

I thought, was quite fashionable.

Yet they're sitting here at £49, which OK, is...

They're beautiful tables.

There's not a bad bit on them.

Would you take £20 for them?

I would like...

I would've liked a bit more but I would like to see them going somewhere...

Put your hand there.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Two lots bought, OK. VO: Not bad going - he's now bagged a trio of G-Plan tables for £20 as well as the bureau.

Jonathan's buying is under way and Philip's off to his shop in Yarm, 11 miles east of Darlington.

Yarm began to thrive as a town during the Georgian period.

Nestled on the south bank of the River Tees, it has an old world charm, with its quaint cobbled streets and historic buildings, like the 18th century town hall.

Let's hope the shops Philip's heading to are as appealing as the town.

How are you, my dear, alright?

Is it alright if I have a look round?

DEALER: Yeah.

VO: Probably a good idea!

That might hit the right note.

Could be a squeeze though!

This is a squeezebox that was made in London, in about, what...?

About 1890, weren't it?

Something like that.

(HIGH-PITCHED WAIL) Oh!

That's terrible, isn't it?

Clearly I'm... um... not just my ears that are tone deaf.

If you look there, there's a little paper label just there, that gives you the maker's mark.

And this is all fret cut.

And the thing you want to look at when you see this is to make sure that there's no damages to any of the frets, which there doesn't appear to be.

Ee, just open it and squeeze it.

Yeah.

If life were that easy, Sandy, if life were that easy.

Clearly my fingers and thumbs are too fat.

How often do you come across these?

And especially complete with box?

And I can do you a little deal on that, Philip.

Sandy, you're gonna have to do me a fantastic deal.

Well...

This has been here a long time, innit?

It has.

So you probably wanna get rid of this, don't you?

I do, really, yeah.

I do.

How did you know it'd been in a long time?

Was it the dust?

No, my love.

You've got originally marked up at 195 and then you've knocked 70 quid off it.

Yeah.

And then you might have to knock another 70 quid off it, and then, who knows?

VO: Philip!

I'm gonna have a look upstairs but hang on to that for me.

OK.

Thank you, my love.

Oh, dear.

I like that.

I mean, all this is is a little cane picnic hamper.

But I said... Aagh!

Cor... a little cane picnic hamper with a very sharp nail sticking out of it there!

Gordon Bennett!

I'm gonna go down and speak to Sandy and see if I can buy this.

Sandy, have you got your best dealing hat on?

DEALER: Yes.

PS: Right.

I'd like to give you 60 quid for that and I'd like to give you 10 quid for that.

70 quid for the two.

HOW much?!

Watch my lips... Oh, go... She's a strong lady, this one.

DEALER: Right.

PS: Yeah?

I was thinking, and I'm really being generous here, 110.

What about if I give you 80 quid for the two?

90.

Come on, get your hand out.

I'll give you 85 for the two, split the difference.

Go on, put your hand out.

DEALER: Go on, then.

Deal.

PS: You're an angel.

Thank you, my love.

Right...

Thank you.

VO: So that works out at £75 for the squeezebox and £10 for the hamper.

Music to everyone's ears.

So... the auction's in Doncaster, isn't it?

And Doncaster's in Yorkshire.

So if I go and buy some Yorkshire produce... Mm.

And put in there, some jams and chutneys and some cheese... Oh, that would be unique.

Off we go, then.

Sandy, you've been an angel.

Love you lots.

Speak to you soon.

DEALER: And you.

PS: See you now.

PS: Oh!

Blimey!

DEALER: Thanks for everything.

Thank you, my love.

Bye-bye.

DEALER: Good luck.

PS: Thank you.

VO: Time for a spot of lunch?

Tell you what, this is my best deal, cuz I'm really hungry, right?

I tell you what - are these lobster pots?

I believe so, yeah.

Really?

And they're made out of cane.

VO: Only Philip could find an item for auction in a chippie.

Erm... how much is fish and chips?

4.90.

So, could I buy fish, chips and a lobster pot?

Can I do that?

How much for?

I'll give you £7.50 - fish, chips and a lobster pot.

No.

Go on, then - how much?

15 quid?

How... how much?!

£15.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'll tell you what - this is my best deal, cuz I'm really hungry, right?

I'm really, really hungry.

Fish, chips and a lobster pot, £10.

And there's a "but" coming.

Mushy peas.

I do like mushy peas.

Mushy peas as well?

PS: Yeah, yeah.

I like mushy... SERVER: What d'you reckon?

PS: Tenner.

SERVER: £10, yeah.

Mushy peas.

Oh, mwah!

You're an angel, my love.

PS: Thank you so much.

SERVER: OK.

Thank you.

Brilliant.

VO: First prize for the most random catch of the day - a lobster pot for £5.10.

About the same price as the plaice.

Mm, and these have got to be the best fish and chips in the north, haven't they?

SERVER: They have.

PS: You're an angel.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

VO: Gosh, I'm feeling hungry now!

It's really good, this is.

VO: He's at it again, but with a full tummy.

Philip's now on a mission to fill his hamper.

I'll have some home-made jam as well.

That's alright.

I wanted to buy some "Wensleydale, Gromit".

Rambler's Chutney.

Yorkshire Biscuits.

That's got to be good stuff, hasn't it?

Now...

I wonder if there's a Yorkshire beer.

Captain Cook!

I've got to buy that, haven't I?

VO: Yes.

It would be rude not to!

I've got to be mean on price, girls, can I make you an offer for this stuff?

You can have a go.

SERVER: Yes.

PS: Oh, hark at this one!

VO: Are you really haggling in a deli?!

Will a tenner buy that lot?

Go on, then.

Seeing as it's you and you've asked so nicely.

SERVER 1: Thank you very much.

SERVER 2: Thank you.

Bye.

SERVER 1: Bye-bye now.

PS: Bye-bye.

VO: So, with a weird and wonderful combination of buys, time for the boys to get back on the road.

JP: So how did your shop go this morning?

PS: I did three shops.

You did how many?!

Three.

How did you manage three?

Hang on a minute.

You did three times as many shops as me.

This is a conspiracy.

PS: No, I... JP: I'm sure...

There IS going to be further investigation into this.

VO: Little does Jonathan know that only one was actually from an antique shop!

The boys are now traveling 37 miles east of Yarm, to Whitby in North Yorkshire.

PS: It's a fantastic place.

I really, really like it.

I'm off to see Captain Cook.

VO: Whitby is famed for being where 18th century British explorer and voyager Captain James Cook began his life as an ordinary seaman.

Still dominated by its ancient abbey ruins, Whitby lies at the mouth of the River Esk.

In Cook's time, the port was a center for shipbuilding and whaling, and today a small fishing industry still exists.

Cook is renowned for charting and mapping the Pacific, New Zealand and the east coast of Australia.

It was in this harborside house where he started his apprenticeship.

Sophie Forgan, chair of the trustees at Captain Cook Memorial Museum, will take Philip on the journey to this remarkable man.

PS: Hi.

SOPHIE: Good to meet you.

I'm Philip.

How are you?

Very well, thanks.

Good to see you.

This is lovely, isn't it?

SOPHIE: Isn't it gorgeous?

Cook's famous for being a... sort of an explorer, discoverer?

He is.

Like a... a sort of a...

I don't know, a latter-day Neil Armstrong, I suppose.

Well, I think that's a very good comparison, actually, because not only did he discover lots of new places, he placed them on the map.

Did he?

He charted them, and he chartered all sorts of places that'd never been charted before, and he did it so accurately that they were still using his charts 200 years later.

VO: Time to find out more.

In 1768, the British Admiralty wanted to explore unknown territory and observe the transit of Venus from the Pacific, which was to be useful for navigation.

They chose Cook to lead the expedition, in a Whitby-built ship called The Endeavor.

This was to be his first of three major voyages of discovery across the globe.

What was Cook's first voyage?

The first voyage starts off in Plymouth.

PS: Yeah.

SOPHIE: And they call at Madeira and then we have to swap round to the other side...

Right.

..and they go round Cape Horn, and then cross the Pacific, until they get to Tahiti.

And then he has secret orders from the Admiralty, which he opens, and the Admiralty say, "Go and search for the great, "undiscovered, southern continent, "if there be such a continent," and so he sails south, due south.

Doesn't find anything much, so he turns westward, and they hit New Zealand... discovering that it is two islands, not one.

And then they go westward again... Yeah.

..and they hit the east coast of Australia... Yeah.

..which no one had seen before.

How long did it take them, when they left... ..to get back again?

The whole voyage is three years.

VO: Cook embarked on a second exploration and became the first man to sail around the world in both directions.

But it was his third voyage, to find the North West Passage, that would prove to be his last.

These are Cook's three voyages but he didn't make them all, did he?

SOPHIE: He was killed in Hawaii, in a fracas over a stolen boat with the natives, a misjudgment.

He didn't have enough men with him.

He was killed and committed to the deep, as was normal in sailors, in Kealakekua Bay, in Hawaii.

VO: Cook was stabbed to death by islanders in 1779, and so the man who radically changed our view of the world forever was never to sail again.

After a long day, it's time for Philip to bid farewell to the museum.

Jonathan's also in Whitby and still on the hunt for a bargain.

Will he be able to seek out the truly bizarre?

Good afternoon.

Mr Doyle?

Mr Doyle, yes.

How do you do?

Jonathan Pratt, hi.

How do you do?

Oh!

Bit of an Aladdin's cave here, isn't it?!

A bit of one, yes, yes.

VO: What have you found there?

Yeugh!

So I'm looking up at this... this hull of a boat.

And then inside it you've got what I can only assume is the remains of a... possibly a steam or petrol-fired engine.

So it would have had a cover and a mast.

People collect these things, cuz there's a lot of people who are engineers, who like to repair these things and make these things better.

I might ask him about that.

VO: This model of a World War II Torpedo boat is priced at £85, but with missing bits, I'm sure there's a deal to be done.

I'll bet you that's built... built to scale.

Yeah.

Give me £50 and we'll have a deal.

I mean, look at it - it's a... it's a wreck!

You're mad!

Absolutely mad!

VO: No comment.

Ha!

OK.

I'm going to be brave and I'm gonna say... ..alright.

Thank you very much.

I've no idea what it's worth but I'll say thank you.

50 quid.

OK, then.

Great.

VO: That's a bold move for someone who's trailing behind.

Anything else worth a... "punt"?

I saw... the green glass vase, with the silver collar.

This one.

Yeah.

VO: True to form, Jonathan simply can't resist a colorful vase.

I quite like this iridescent glass.

It's kind of like... it's like Austrian glass.

DEALER: Yes.

JP: Bit like the Loetz factory.

Oh, that's the word.

Yeah, I remember that one.

Silver mount and it is 1905.

A little bit thin but the neck's quite good.

VO: Would you pay £30 for it?

I would be happy to offer you... not 10... Not 15... £18.

Tell you what - you... JP: "Sling yer 'ook mate" You give me 20 and you can have it, alright?

What the heck - go on, then.

I'll take that as well.

DEALER: OK, then.

JP: There we go.

VO: First day of shopping done and dusted, and so to bed... separately.

It's a brand-new day.

So far, Philip Serrell has spent £100.10 on three lots: the squeezebox, the hamper, filled with Yorkshire produce, and a lobster pot, leaving a whopping £201.86 to spend today.

Jonathan Pratt bought four lots: the oak bureau, a nest of tables, a model boat, and a glass vase, spending £117 in total.

So he only has £33.40 for today.

He'd better spend wisely.

Philip's now going for a spot of shopping just down the road, in Sleights.

Much of the small village sits on hillsides on either side of the pretty River Esk.

Philip's gone to see what Eskdale Antiques have to offer, and immediately he can see that things here are right up his street.

Where else, other than the antique world, can you buy old quarry tiles, an anchor or a cart wheel?!

Hi, how are you?

I'm Phil.

DEALER: Hi, Phil Smith.

PS: Phil-Phil.

Phil-Phil.

Pleased to meet you.

It's like an echo, that.

How are you doing?

Alright, thank you.

VO: Philip's absolutely chomping at the bit to buy something here.

Just look at all these big, old lumps.

Oh, I love that spice box.

Spice tin.

What I really love about that is in the middle, you've got a nutmeg grater, and what I love about this is you just... you grate your nutmeg, like that.

Smell that - that's just absolutely lovely.

VO: Mm... spicy!

Can I have a look at that one, Phil, please?

You can.

How much is it first?

Or what's the ticket price on it?

The ticket price is... ..30.

30 quid.

Your pony's head goes in there... Yep.

..and then... DEALER: Packed out with straw, with a leather back to cushion it... Yeah.

..and then you fasten your straps on to there... Yeah.

..and then fasten on to the cart behind.

Right.

Deal time here.

I'll give you 15 quid for that.

Go on, then.

PS: You're a gentleman.

DEALER: We have a deal.

No, I do, I like that - I like that a lot.

Let's just hope somebody in Doncaster has got a pony with no harness for it.

VO: Ha!

Time to trot on.

Trot on!

Jonathan, meanwhile, is galloping 40 miles to Coxwold, once home to one of England's most famous authors.

18th century novelist Laurence Sterne was the vicar of Coxwold for eight years, and it was whilst living here, in the now named Shandy Hall, that he wrote his bawdy best-seller Tristram Shandy.

Sterne and his humor have been likened to the rudeness of Max Miller and Frankie Howerd.

The book's named after the haphazard main character, Tristram, who endures a string of calamities from birth.

He's his creator Sterne's alter ego - a chaotic genius and a literary one-off.

Not a conventional museum, Shandy Hall is also home to curator Patrick Wildgust, who strives to ensure that people like Jonathan continue to visit.

PATRICK: Can I introduce you to... Laurence Sterne?

He'd written the first two volumes of Tristram Shandy and he'd paid for them himself... OK... and this is in the... 1759.

PATRICK: This is 1759.

JP: First two volumes.

He was sure the book would be successful but he couldn't find anybody to publish it.

There's no name on the title page - it doesn't say it's by Laurence Sterne.

But this portrait was painted within a few months of Sterne arriving in London, to find out how his book was doing.

Yeah... And then he discovers that it's a success, so he now becomes famous.

VO: So, despite being a vicar, the book was very risque for the time, as well as being semi-autobiographical.

It was also an extraordinary book, because it made people laugh - it entertained people.

And it go... it's going against the whole grain of how the 18th century novel is supposed to be constructed.

That painting identified him as being the author, because he's resting his elbow on the manuscript of Tristram Shandy.

VO: Time to get acquainted with a few of Sterne's most loved characters.

JP: So, what do we have in here?

Well, we have Uncle Toby... Mm-hm.

And who's he?

Well, Uncle Toby's a significant character in Tristram Shandy.

Mm-hm?

He's the uncle who influences Tristram's... belief, I suppose, in an attitude to life.

He's a gentle, careful, considerate man.

Oh, that's nice.

And he's also completely naive.

Oh!

And this proximity here, with this woman...

This is the Widow Wadman.

She is the most beautiful woman that ever existed in fiction... OK. ..and Sterne encourages you to imagine how beautiful she is by not describing her, word for word, about how she looks, but he says to the reader, "Here's pen and ink, "and just think as much of your mistress as you wish "and as little as your wife as you wish to, "and then draw her yourself."

So if you now imagine the most beautiful woman that you've ever thought of, then that's the Widow Wadman.

JP: He-llo!

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Patrick will now show Jonathan the very room that Tristram Shandy was written in.

JP: The... all the books on the table here - what's the significance of them?

Well, they show the visitor some indication of where Sterne got some of his ideas from, when he was writing this book - Rabelais and Cervantes and Locke and Burton and the Bible.

JP: OK. DEALER: So he's... his works are peppered with references, some of them deliberate and ones that you should pick up, others are just sort of PATRICK: in homage... JP: Mm-hm.

..or he's just pinching things.

He's created Shandy Hall in the book as a fictional place, and then when he comes here, it then becomes the Shandy Hall...

So he names it Shandy Hall?

Well, his friends, his friends did, yeah.

Is he becoming Tristram Shandy himself?

Well, you've hit on... you've hit on it exactly, because there, look - "Dr Sterne, alias Tristram Shandy".

JP: Oh, really?!

PATRICK: Yeah.

VO: It's the end of this chapter for Jonathan, so time to close the book on Shandy Hall.

Careful how you go.

Reunited, the chaps are off to the seaside town of Scarborough.

PS: I do want to go and have a look at the promenade, or whatever it is in Scarborough.

Let's drive down through the promenade first, then, shall we?

Well, there's no point in coming to the seaside and not seeing the sea, is there?

We should buy one another a stick of rock, JP.

VO: Scarborough, known as the Queen of the Yorkshire coast, is full of attractions - the historic and dramatic-looking Scarborough Castle, for one.

But it's been a booming seaside resort for the last 360 years and is still as popular as ever.

Sadly there's no strolling beside the seaside for these two.

There's a competition to continue.

Let's hope Philip's last shop looks promising.

You've got some good things in here, haven't you?

DEALER: Lots of things.

PS: Yeah.

I'm just gonna have a look at that fish up there.

Can we get the fish down, do you think?

DEALER: Yes... we can.

PS: ..please?

I shall pop it down here.

Thank you.

Now, the first thing we wanna do is, is there a label on the back?

And there's absolutely nothing.

Cuz the...

I mean, the big exponent of doing these things was a man called Cooper, and Cooper was a great taxidermist.

Is that some sort of a trout?

I think it is... Is it the "old trout"?

But what bothers me is condition.

If you look here, you can just see that he's starting to flake away.

And what someone, I think, is gonna have to do is probably take this out of its case and remount it and reglaze it.

Mm.

And that's gonna cost what this thing is worth, really.

VO: Typically Philip's drawn to the only thing in the shop that's not theirs - it's being sold for a friend, who wants £150 for it.

Does your man definitely want to sell this?

Yes.

He doesn't want it back in his house.

I like that and I'd like to buy it off you.

I am worried about condition.

Um... can I give you £40 for it?

And that's me best.

Yes, sir.

You're an angel.

VO: Blimey!

Is Jonathan having similar bargaining power next door?

That's quite a... sort of conjures up quite a strong image, doesn't it?

Well, perhaps maybe that might be something that I should put in the sale.

Well, militaria always tends to sort of... in any sale, whether it's a general or a specialist militaria sale, it always tends to do OK.

It's obviously depicting one of the battle scenes in the Boer War, but that's a Scots regiment.

It's a color print, you know, signed and dated in the print, as 1900, and this is probably a reproduction not long after that.

What would you be able to sell that for?

Best I could do on it to you today, Jonathan, I'll do it you for a tenner.

Oh, crikey!

How's that?

JP: Pff!

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: Didn't expect that, did you?

JP: I'll take it for a tenner.

DEALER: Yes?

Yeah, yeah, why not?

There we go.

VO: Jonathan's keeping his last buy under wraps.

But their next stop is the big reveal.

Ah, it's a single chair!

Isn't that the finest quality bureau that you might have ever seen?

It's the best I've seen today But I do like those sort of big, turned bun feet.

I think that lifts it up from the norm, and Norm will be very pleased to hear that!

VO: (LAUGHS) You joker, Philip!

My next lot is called a barfin.

These are the hames and this, apparently, is the barfin.

Yes, this is obviously... you put the head of a... PS: Yeah.

JP: ..pony or something.

PS: Yeah, a pony or a donkey.

JP: Quite useful, isn't it?

Well, it cost me 15 quid.

Fif-teen?

Yeah.

Are those G-Plan or something?

Another mark of quality, you'll say, of course.

1970s teak, all the rage... An-tique?

No, teak.

Just teak, I'm afraid, yeah.

And they cost me... Ah... just...

I mean, I was amazed.

Absolutely gobsmacked.

£20.

I went into this antique shop.

Oh, my word!

And I bought a picnic hamper, right?

Yeah?

No, no, no - not yet, you see.

And... Have you been to the deli or something?

PS: Yeah.

JP: Phil, you haven't!

Yeah, I have.

I thought "I've got to get some good Yorkshire "produce to go with it," so I've got some biscuits, some chutney, some Captain Cook beer, look.

There's a hamper full of little goodies there, and the goodies cost me a tenner and the hamper cost me a tenner.

What d'you reckon?

I like your style, Philip.

I like your style.

VO: Let's hope someone at the auction does too.

This is my next lot.

I like that.

I do like that.

It's Loetz style, silver mounted, circa 1904/1905.

JP: I paid £20.

PS: Really?

That's alright then.

What I did, I bought fish, chips and mushy peas, right?

JP: Yeah.

PS: And I bought that.

A linen basket?

VO: Not from a fish shop, it ain't!

I don't know what it is.

It's a lobster pot, isn't it?

I bought fish, chips, mushy peas and that for a tenner... ..but I ate the fish, chips and mushy peas!

So this cost you a tenner?

No, it cost me £5.10, because the fish, chips and mushy peas were £4.90, and I ate those.

You're suitably unimpressed.

Come on, JP, you're next!

JP: Put it away!

PS: What's next?

This is the bit I'm sca...

I'm most scared about.

PS: Right.

JP: Purely because... it's not in great condition.

Oh, bit's just fallen off.

Oh dear...

It looks like it's been scuttled, JP!

Yeah.

People like to go to auctions, they like to buy these mechanical, you know, engines, boats and all sorts.

Yeah, yeah, no, I'm with you.

So this here...

Listen, mate, if they want lobster pots, you got no problem with that!

Yes!

A very good point!

Is this a squeezebox?

PS: Yeah.

JP: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

OK. (HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAKING) They make money, don't they?

They can do, they can do quite a lot of money, can't they?

PS: Yeah.

JP: Cuz they're quite... they were quite unusual, quite rare.

Yeah, and I thought I might make, if I was lucky, 200.

Cor, blimey!

PS: But I don't know.

JP: Well, I hope you don't.

I mean, I don't mean that too cruelly... No, no, no.

Cuz I wanna try and get back in the game here!

VO: That's the spirit Jonathan!

What about the print?

I think... the print's worth a pound and I think the frame's worth £20-£30.

I paid a tenner.

Well, that's alright, isn't it?

He-llo!

(CHUCKLES) I got the old trout.

Brilliant.

What do you think?

Er... well, you're not brave enough to spend a lot, a lot of money on things, I know that.

VO: Meow!

I'd to pay £40 for it.

Right.

I think in the right auction it's 100-150, and I think it's 50-80 quid in the wrong auction.

VO: Time to get the fish knives out, Maud, and find out what they really think.

For me, the sort of the Achilles heel in the whole operation is the boat, cuz he paid £50 for that, and I just don't see that, cuz I think on a bad day, it could really make...

I dunno, £15-£30, something like that.

But for me, I just...

I'd be really nervous if I owned that.

Crikey, I mean... Phil's gone off his rocker with that lot, buying a hamper and then go and buy some jam down the road.

For goodness' sake!

VO: On this leg of their road trip, the pair have traveled from Darlington to Yarm, Whitby, Sleights, Coxwold and Scarborough.

Let's see how their buys fare at auction in Doncaster, in South Yorkshire.

JP: Oh, look at this - this must be St George's.

Is this a cathedral or a church?

PS: Don't know.

Is Doncaster a city?

I think it is.

I know a man that will tell us.

OK, Tim - tell us what it is.

VO: Well chaps, St George's may look impressive but is a church, not a cathedral, and Doncaster is, in fact, a historic market town, founded way back in AD 71, by the old Romans.

Sitting on the River Don, it has a rich horse racing and railway heritage, and some famous faces were born there, including Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson.

Here we are, this is it.

Excellent, and we've got a spot just outside.

Christen your boat.

You can call it Hope.

No, I think I'm gonna call it Doncaster.

Despair?

Don't be horrid!

VO: Tudor Auction Rooms are house clearance specialists and have been doing business in Doncaster for over 30 years.

Let's hear what our auctioneer George Allen's favorite items are.

Er, the G-Plan nest of tables, always a winner now.

The '70s furniture's really coming on and there's dealers that are buying that sort of stuff.

It should be a pretty good winner, that one.

The squeezebox is in really good condition and it's rather unusual that you do get the original box.

There's quite a few collectors that are into accordions and squeezeboxes like that.

Erm...

I should think it's gonna do probably £75/£100 on that one.

It's probably the better item of the few that he's bought.

VO: So to jog our memories on what each expert has spent: Philip bought five lots, totaling £155.10.

And Jonathan Pratt forked out a wee bit less than his rival, £127 for his five items.

I know Jonathan's trailing behind but I've got a good feeling in my waterworks for him about this auction.

Oh, here we go.

Help!

VO: First - one of Philip's more randomly acquired items, from the fish and chip shop.

The l... cane lobster pot.

Five anywhere?

Five bid.

Five bid.

Any advance on five?

Any more?

All done.

10 it is.

£10 bid on the lobster pot.

Get in there, George!

Get in there, George!

I have to sit down!

15 bid.

£15 bid.

Any more?

All out.

Done at 15.

If I'd've known that, I could've had another portion of chips!

I'm aghast!

VO: He knows what he's doing, our Philip.

A decent profit on the lobster pot.

Second is Jonathan's 1900s Scottish military scene print.

It's rather nice.

Very collectable.

War memorabilia.

Five surely.

Five bid.

Five bid.

Any advance on five?

Any more?

All done.

7.50 on the book.

7.50 bid.

Keep going, keep going.

GEORGE: 10?

10 bid.

JP: Oh!

GEORGE: 12.50.

JP: Yes!

15.

£15 bid.

If you're all done at £15... (GAVEL) JP: There you go.

That's cheap.

Yeah, it's a couple of quid profit for me.

Gets me off... Gets me off on a... Well, it's better than... JP: On a snail's pace!

PS: Yeah!

VO: Not a bad buy - the print served him well.

Next is Philip's pony hame.

Highly collectable there, ladies and gentlemen.

Five bid.

Any advance on five?

10.

15.

20 Five.

30.

£30, lady's in at 30.

35 bid.

New bidder.

40 bid.

£40 bid.

£40 bid.

I'll take 2.50, if it'll help you.

42.50, he's back in.

45.

45 bid.

All done at £45.

The drinks are on you tonight, Phil.

VO: They certainly are.

Another profit for Philip, and mine's a Campari and soda.

No, I didn't come from Luton Airport!

Ha!

Next, Philip's been at it again - it's a bad case of stuffed fish!

Pick me up.

10 bid.

£10 bid.

Any advance on 10?

Any more?

15.

20.

Five.

30.

£30.

It's too cheap.

£30 bid.

Any advance on 30?

Any more?

2.50 if you like.

Crashed and burned, hasn't it?

35.

She's back in.

37.50.

New bidder.

40 bid.

£40 bid.

Any advance on 40?

If you're all done, missing it at £40.

I've no complaints at all.

I'm quite happy now.

He can give the rest away!

VO: Minus commission, the fish "floundered" and was actually a loss for Philip.

Now for Jonathan's Loetz-style green vase.

Lot number 202 is a very nice... PS: VERY nice.

GEORGE: ..iridescent glass vase, with the Poole-hallmarked silver, ladies and gentlemen.

10.

10 bid.

£10 bid.

15 bid.

20 bid.

25.

30 bid.

35 bid.

PS: A profit.

GEORGE: 35 on the side.

PS: You're into profit, JP.

JP: Yeah, but not enough.

Any advance on 35?

Still cheap is this.

Come on, keep going.

It IS cheap.

It's a great vase.

Any more?

All done... 40 bid, new bidder.

42.50.

At 42.50... another chance.

At 42.50... PS: Go on, go on.

That's alright, JP.

42.50?

Yeah.

So after commission, that's... that's 18...

I'm on the way back.

VO: You'll need a bit more than that to put you in the lead, Jonathan, or even to get you back to where you started.

Oh, dear!

It's time to see if anyone's in the mood for a picnic.

You know it's going to be red hot tomorrow, it's the picnic basket and it is full.

Five anywhere?

Two bid.

Oh, ouch!

Four bid.

Six bid.

Don't worry - he's gonna work the room, he's gonna work the room.

Eight bid on the front row... eight bid.

Any advance on eight?

Are you all done?

10.

Very cheap.

That jar of jam must be worth 20.

(LAUGHTER) PS: Will you buy it, George?!

Any more?

There's a bit of cake as well.

JP: Bit of cake!

12.

12 bid.

14.

And we're getting better.

16.

18.

On... 18 bid, we've got her.

18 bid.

Any more?

Done at 18.

See you down by the riverside.

JP: He did really well.

PS: He did well.

He did really well.

I tell you what, old George, he works 'em well, doesn't he?

Bless him.

VO: Maybe so, but you still made a loss, Philip.

Ah-ha - it's the 1920s Lebus oak bureau up now.

Lovely piece.

Very collectable, useable item.

10 bid.

£10 bid.

15.

20.

25.

GEORGE: 25 bid.

JP: Keep going!

25.

7.50.

23... it's 30 bid.

£30 would be OK. Any advance on 30.

If you're all done, at £30.

(GAVEL) GEORGE: 43.

Oh, goodness!

So what have the tables got to make now, then?

They've got to make...

They've got to make about £100 for me to go in profit, I think.

VO: Well, it's not over yet, Jonathan.

So let's see what his nest of 1970s G-Plan tables make.

£30 to start me.

20.

10 to start me.

And I'm 10 bid.

£10 bid on the G-Plan nest.

10 bid.

Any advance on 10?

Any more?

PS: That is ridiculously cheap.

15 bid.

20 bid.

Lady's in at 20.

25 bid.

25 bid.

Any more?

All done at £25.

JP: Goodnight!

PS: You were hard done by on those.

Let me shake you by the hand.

Oh...

I, no, no.

You were hard done by on those.

VO: He was a bit.

Not a whopping profit, when he needs it most.

Time for Philip's rosewood concertina to face the music.

This is a little beauty, this one, ladies and gentlemen.

It's the Victorian squeezebox.

Just give it a little squeeze.

(NOTE PLAYS) GEORGE: There we go.

Perfect.

PS: Oh, thanks, George!

GEORGE: £50 to start me.

GEORGE: 20.

20 bid.

PS: Thanks, George.

JP: £20 is bid... GEORGE: Any advance on 20?

30.

40.

50.

60.

70.

£70 bid.

Lady's in at 70.

80.

£80.

And 90.

100.

£100 bid.

£100 bid.

110.

120.

130.

130.

The yellow cap's in at 130.

140.

150.

£150 bid.

Oh, I feel a little bit better now, Jonathan!

At £150.

Well done, George!

JP: Doubled your money Phil.

PS: I know.

VO: And that's a fantastic profit for Philip!

He's got a hard act to follow - last, but by no means least, Jonathan's slightly incomplete model boat.

This is a rather nice... craft for the ladies and gentlemen.

He's good.

This is a gunboat.

Five anywhere, on the gunboat?

Five bid.

Five bid.

Any advance on five?

7.50 can I see?

7.50 bid.

7.50 bid.

Lady's in at 7.50.

JP: A lady's gonna buy it!

Interesting project.

7.50.

10 bid.

£10 bid.

12.50, new bidder.

13.50 bid.

13.50.

Have you all done, at £13.50?

Don't quite know what to say now, JP!

(SNORTS) I go down with my ship!

(SPLASH) VO: And he's sunk.

(GURGLING) So with that final lot, it's safe to say that it's a hat-trick for Philip Serrell, who now has won his third auction on the trot.

PS: (SNORTS) JP: On the whole... JP: ..a good result... VO: Eh?!

JP: ..for you.

VO: Oh.

Jonathan started this leg of the trip with £150.40, and sadly, after auction costs, ends today with even less - £126.72, to be precise.

Oh, dear.

Philip started with a healthier sum - £301.96 - but even minus commission, has increased that even further and now has a decent £366.62.

Steady Eddie!

Surely now it's time for Jonathan to change tactics.

Have you got a plan for the next leg?

Erm... as always, Philip, my plan is to have no plan.

Oh, that's good enough, innit?

Yeah.

Just get in the car and drive!

VO: Next time on the Antiques Road Trip, Jonathan goes off his rocker... Yee-ha!

VO: ..whereas Philip is starting to feel his age.

What makes me feel like a dinosaur already is when you see things in an antique center... ..that you can sort of remember your parents buying new.

VO: A pair that truly are chalk and cheese.

You're going to church, I'm going to a pub, which I think probably sums up our respective characters.

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