VO: The nation's favorite antiques experts, £200 each and one big challenge.

Well, duck, do I buy you or don't I?

VO: Who can make the most money, buying and selling antiques, as they scour the UK?

Yee-ha!

VO: The aim is, trade up and hope that each antique turns a profit.

But it's not as easy as it looks, and dreams of glory can end in tatters.

DEALER: 60.

PHIL: Get out of here!

VO: So will it be the fast lane to success or the slow road to bankruptcy?

I'm gonna go and cry!

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

VO: Today, it's the last dash down the antiques super highway for our pair of aspirational auctioneers - Philip Serrell and Jonathan Pratt.

And oh, yes - their 1965 Triumph TR4 has served them well.

JONATHAN (JP): This shopping trip is going to be around going back to basics, what I know best, you know.

PHILIP (PS): Which is what?

Which is, well... buy it cheap and sell it high!

VO: Well, that's an original thought!

But let's not forget - Philip Serrell is a hard man to beat, especially when it comes to price.

Listen, I'm doing you a favor.

I'd like to give you... 10 quid for that.

How much?!

VO: He said a tenner.

How much?!

VO: Oh, I give up!

The point is, so far Philip's the undisputed champion of this road trip.

He's turned his original £2 stake into a dazzling £382.42...

Which means... this is Jonathan Pratt's last chance.

Despite having great hair - ha-ha!

- he's had a diabolical week at auction, losing money hand over fist.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Zero.

I wanna go and cry!

I can't believe it!

VO: (FEIGNS SOBBING) Though if he wants to teach his scarf-wearing nemesis a lesson, today every decision, every negotiation, is critical.

After all, his original £200 is now just £152.80.

But just one purchase can change everything!

JP: I'm still under my budget but I'm gonna come back now, I'm coming back.

PS: Oh, here we go again!

Here we go again!

VO: Now so far this week, our chaps have journeyed all the way from Cockermouth in Cumbria, and their road trip ends with one last auction in Wilmslow.

But today's first shop - big, bad Sheffield.

Like Rome, built on seven hills.

PS: I suppose we ought to find lots of cutlery in Sheffield, shouldn't we?

We've got two footie teams, haven't we?

Aha.

We've got The Full Monty... Aha.

What else have we got in Sheffield?

VO: Antique shops, Philip!

Antique shops!

The first of which is Langtons.

Come on then, matey.

Let's go and have a look.

VO: And there's plenty to see, for this family business has been going since 1870, and displays the wares of more than 50 different dealers.

Wow, this place is massive, isn't it?

I've got my mojo back, Philip.

VO: Well, Jonathan, I'm glad to hear it, because the silver fox has already spotted something that tickles his fancy.

Oh, I love me cricket.

This is the day - it's 1954.

And these are interesting these, aren't they?

Because there are just little facsimile cricket bats... ..and if you went to Lord's, Trent Bridge, the Oval, Headingley or wherever, you went and bought one of these from the shop.

And this is by Gunn & Moore, in Nottingham, so there's every chance you'd've bought this from Trent Bridge.

And you might've paid 10 shillings, as a souvenir.

And there's some fantastic names here - there's Len Hutton, Peter May, Bill Edrich.

I like those.

An auctioneer would estimate those at £30-£50, which means I've gotta try and buy 'erm for about 20 quid.

VO: Watch out, Ian - the fox is one very sly negotiator!

I'm looking for £50 on the pair.

I can't get close to that.

I wanna buy them off you but I can't get close to that.

I really can't.

You're offering me...?

I'm offering you, like, 20 quid for the two.

And I can tell, just by the way you're sort of scrunching your face a little bit there, you know it's low.

Oh, it is.

DEALER: £40.

£40, we have a deal.

I can't do that.

I can meet you halfway.

I tell you what, I'll meet you halfway - 30 quid.

That's my best shout, really is my best shout.

£30.

£30 the two and I'll shake your hand.

I'll shake your hand on that.

Oh, you're a gentleman.

VO: So we're one purchase in.

Like that - straight bat, left elbow up, look at that.

VO: And I think Jonathan might just get ready to make another.

But can he persuade Pauline to drop her... prices?

I like these, these little leather hatboxes.

There's no hat inside but you've got a nice little liner, which is all padded and is actually original and nice condition.

What would be the best price on that for you?

Well, what have I got on it?

I think you're asking 50-something.

58.

Erm... 48?

It needs a little bit of work.

Erm...

I was thinking more along the lines of sort of £35.

(CHUCKLES) Alright - 35.

VO: Goodness me, that was easy!

Peanut butter legs!

But it's the kind of item that will propel you into the lead, won't it, Jonathan?

I think...

I... VO: Well, is it?

That's much less, but I...

I... yes, I'm gonna go for that.

I like...

I think that's a nice object.

VO: Mm, decisive!

And just few feet away, Philip's exploring his musical side.

So cover your ears... round about... ..now.

(HIGH-PITCHED NOTES) D'you know, I haven't got a clue what that's worth.

Not the first idea.

Not a clue.

Can we go and put it down...?

VO: That's a good idea.

Now, it may interest you to know that whilst the accordion was invented in Berlin, in 1822, it actually originates from a Chinese instrument called a sheng, which is, in fact 4,000 years old.

PS: Richard, I think that's 50 to 80 quid's worth.

What can buy that?

DEALER: 80 quid?

You're getting closer to it.

DEALER: 70.

I'd give you 50 quid for it.

DEALER: We split the difference, 60.

The only reason I'm doing it is because I bought a concertina before... DEALER: Right.

PS: ..and it did me proud.

I'll give you £55.

That's me best shot.

DEALER: That's fine.

PS: You're a gentleman, Richard.

Thank you.

What on Earth have I done now?!

VO: Well, you are the king of quirk, Philip!

What have I done?

What have you done, selling me that?

VO: Mind you, if you think the accordion's an unusual choice, look at what Jonathan wants to buy - one 1950s mannequin, being sold by young Jill.

You've ripped her arms off!

Yeah, I'm sorry - they fell off, actually.

I was, erm, I was...

I wasn't so much as manhandling her, I was lifting her up, to see what the chair was like.

JILL: Right.

JP: That's my excuse, anyway.

Anyway, then her... then her arms fell off.

I think there is a price on her, isn't there?

There is, yeah.

It was here.

It was £45.

VO: Seriously - he's not gonna buy that, is he?

Erm... 40 quid.

30?

Are we happy with 30?

32.

Crikey.

Er, 32... oh... Well, I'm... No, I'm not gonna haggle.

JP: Yes, that's fine.

JILL: 32.

£32.

Brilliant.

Now, does she have a name?

Does she have a name?

Erm... no.

No, but you can name her, if you want!

Well, I was going to, I was going to.

I thought perhaps maybe we could give her a name.

Cuz I was thinking maybe something French, something sort of exotic.

I don't know why but I looked at her and thought she was a Clarissa.

Then it's Clarissa.

VO: Just one problem here - pretty frock not included.

So Jonathan needs to buy something for Clarissa to wear.

The exact thing for you, this little number.

JILL: 1960s Babydoll... JP: Woo!

..Marks & Spencer's.

A fiver.

My word!

That's... that's cool, isn't it?

JILL: She'll look a smart girl in that!

JP: She'll look great in it.

VO: What do you know about frocks, Jonathan?!

Anyway, £37 all in, and I just hope he knows what he's doing.

Oh, Philip's changed.

Mm...

It's much nicer having you sitting next to me than Phil - you're much better looking.

VO: Yeah, that's cuz she's a dummy.

Although, speaking of Phil... ..he's off to Bakewell, renowned for its Bakewell pudding and not, as many people wrongly assume, the Bakewell tart, even though it's exceedingly good.

But more to the point, the area is also home to Haddon Hall, said to be one of the finest medieval manor houses in existence, and today Jo's giving Phil the guided tour.

We're coming up to part of the newer part of the building at the moment.

This is the newer part?

This is... this wasn't built till about 1540.

Oh, right.

VO: Dating back to the 11th century, it used to belong to the illegitimate son of William the Conqueror.

Since then, it's passed through the hands of two families, the Vernons and the Manners, and today, after more than 900 years, the house still stands, in near perfect condition.

This is our great hall.

Dates back to about 1370, so it's the oldest part of the domestic building.

VO: Meanwhile, this table dates back to the 1450s, and helps tell the story of a popular saying - "the upper crust".

People didn't have, you know, plates and pewter - they ate off trenches, didn't they?

They did, they ate off bread trenches.

Bread trenches.

You put the bread on the table and you put your meat onto the bread, and then you soak your gravy into the bread.

The bottom of the bread is stale, isn't it?

It is.

And the wealthier people had the top of the bread, so they were therefore "the upper crust", PS: weren't they?

JO: That's right.

VO: After serving its owners for five centuries, Haddon Hall was abandoned in the early 1700s, and lay dormant for around 200 years, before the ninth Duke and Duchess of Rutland decided to embark on a full restoration.

Oh, wow!

JO: This is our dining room, as you can see by the table.

Fantastic cupboard, isn't it?

It is, isn't it?

I wanted to show you this a little bit closer, because it is just so beautifully carved.

It's one of our collection of dole cupboards, used to share out the food for the poor.

I think they would be put on bridges, at crossroads, where people would be passing by, and any food that was left over would be put in here.

If you couldn't support yourself, you took the food from the dole cupboard, so you were "on the dole".

I hadn't appreciated "dole" and "on the dole" and all that sort of stuff.

So... "D-O-L-E"?

Yeah.

Hm.

Right.

JO: On the benefits.

PS: Yeah.

VO: Last on the tour is the long gallery, which was created in the Tudor period, in order to accommodate the latest health fad - a thing they decided to call "exercise".

PS: (MUTTERS) Make a fantastic cricket net, this, wouldn't it?

It would, yes!

Wouldn't it?

Just... you could... JO: Bowls.

PS: Yeah, fantastic.

Skateboarding.

Used to be three rooms.

This used to be three rooms?

It did, yes.

And then they said "Let's build a long gallery", and the knocked the three rooms together.

You say that this was an exercise hall?

It was, yes.

Shall we?

Come on.

How fast did they go?

Not as fast as this, I don't think.

No, we've gotta go this fast, Jo, we've really gotta go this fast.

VO: Now, while Phil works on achieving the body beautiful - and it may take some time... ..our next stop is Chesterfield, a destination that began life as a Roman fort, circa 70AD, and eventually blossomed into a market town.

Chesterfield is also renowned for its crooked church spire, a 14th century addition which, according to one folklore, is crooked because a local blacksmith mis-shoed the devil, who then leaped over the spire in pain and knocked it out of shape.

Ha!

If you believe that, you'll believe anything!

A few miles down the road though, young Pratt still has £80 burning a hole in his pocket, and is thinking of giving it, at least some of it, to our Marlene, in her shop.

What a lovely shop.

I try and pack it with a lot of things that people could be interested in.

Yeah.

And I like to let them have a look round and a rummage.

VO: Mm.

And after Jonathan has a bit of a rummage... (IMITATES ENGINE) VO: ..he's happy to report he has several candidates for his next purchase.

I quite like this little chap here, which kind of looks out of place, to be honest, but... A little children's food bowl.

Got your ABC around the outside, they can eat all their food away and they get to the bottom and they can say "Oh, I can see the doggy, Mummy!"

VO: Oh, yeah?!

More importantly, it's 1930s and in excellent condition, so it joins the maybe list, along with one pen and ink drawing of the Northern Locomotive, circa 1920.

Well maybe... perhaps?

The only downside is that they haven't signed it.

VO: And last but not least - miniature golf, anyone?

I like this.

This is Chad Valley, which... Chad Valley are, sort of, the big... one of the big names for making toys in the early part of the 20th century.

So you've got nine holes, two putters, a driver as well.

I like that a lot, actually.

This and the locomotive and the children's bowl.

I think might just buy the lot today.

VO: Well, someone's living dangerously!

Though what large sums might we be talking about here?

Erm...

I think the very best on that would be seven.

I bought it with other items... OK. ..and, erm, I think that would be a fair price.

I think there's a little way to go in that.

I'm happy with that.

£7 is brilliant, thank you very much.

The next is the little Chad Valley miniature golf set.

I mean... Tatty little box, but, erm... Crikey.

It's amazing it's still in the box... DEALER: I think I'd like to see £10 for that.

So that's brilliant, OK.

I...

I... D'you know, I can't haggle, cuz 10 is generous, and seven's good, so...

Yes.

We like to be fair.

Thank you.

VO: Oh, yes.

In that case, there's just one more item in the window.

This one?

Yes, that's it, there.

Right.

Nice little item.

What would you do that for?

I'd like to probably realize 10 for that as well.

I really like it, and I think £10 is a fair price, and I... Good.

So, in all, I'm gonna buy three objects...

Right.

And they're gonna cost me £27!

Right.

Which is very good, so thank you very much.

You haven't broke the bank!

No, I haven't broken the bank.

VO: And so endeth today's shopping spree, with both our experts rather pleased with what they've bought.

PS: ..the impression, JP, that we're both... Are we both feeling chilled at the minute?

Yes!

But cuz it's the last one, in for a penny, in for a pound, and I wanna win.

VO: Oh, not chilled at all, then.

As the sun rises on the last day of the last leg, our experts are fighting fit and raring to go, especially young Pratt.

Hopefully I've got, you know, I've got an overall profit out of it, but I want to try and find is just that one little thing which might be the real... PS: The gem?

JP: Yeah, the gem.

VO: So far, Jonathan has spent £99 on four auction lots, and with his remaining £54, he vows to give old Serrell a real run for his money.

Philip, on the other hand, has spent just £85 on two auction lots, which means he still has £300 secreted somewhere about his person.

Don't think about it.

I'd like to buy something daft.

I'd like to buy something like a canoe.

Or a... JP: A canoe?!

PS: Yeah.

VO: Hm.

Today, we're en route to Matlock, source of many a canoe, which was once not one but four small villages... where not very much tended to happen.

But then in 1698, with the discovery of thermal springs, suddenly Matlock was a spa town.

The population boomed and 20 hydros opened their doors, using mere water to treat many an ailment.

Although today, the only therapy Phil Serrell's after is retail, so currently he's headed down the high street, past the cute doggie, which is not in the window.

Hello, mate!

Have you been left outside?

Oh, dear.

That's not good, is it?

VO: And on to Matlock Antiques, where he's discovered something even before he goes into the shop.

You know, when you're looking at something like that... And I can hear you asking, "Who's gonna buy that?"

You'd wanna try and buy that for 20/25 quid, really.

And I have seen them at £60/£70.

But they're a bit bigger, with much bigger wooden blocks here, so...

I think I'll go in and see what else I can find.

VO: Well, you say that, but we all know what you really want is... DEALER: The mangle.

Yeah.

It's just a bit, sort of, hot, price-wise, isn't it?

DEALER: What price is on it?

PS: You've got... Well, I can tell you what I can get for it at auction.

In a saleroom, that's gonna make 30-50 quid, cuz it's bust, which means I've gotta buy it, after commission, between £20 and £25.

I'm sure 30-35 would be a lot better.

PS: Who for?

DEALER: Us, of course!

Well, let's have a think on that.

PS: Let me see what else... DEALER: Yes, OK. ..cuz we might able to block... block package here, girls.

OK, that's lovely.

Let me see what else I can find.

Well, I quite like that little trophy there.

Which is...

It's not a snooker trophy - it's a billiards trophy, it's a billiards trophy, cuz there's two white balls, one of which has got a spot on.

VO: By the way, billiards was once a game played outdoors, similar to croquet, and the green felt of a billiards table is supposed to represent the lawn.

I think it's a really cool little trophy.

VO: In that case, it's back to the negotiation table.

Could you do a deal on that and the mangle?

Can you do me £25 the two?

Not really, no.

It's...

I think if we say 30 for the two, that would be good.

What about if I toss you, and if it's heads, it's 25 quid, and if it's tails, it's 30 quid?

How's that sound?

A coin, yes.

Oh, this is good, then.

VO: This man's a chancer!

And ladies, I'd check that coin if I were you!

PS: If it's head, it's 30 quid.

DEALER: It's mine, yes.

PS: It's 30 quid.

DEALER: It's thir... PS: And if it's tail, it's 25?

DEALER: Yes.

Get in there!

DEALER: I think that's... PS: Your coin... DEALER: ..double-headed!

PS: It's your...!

It's double-tailed!

You just said double-headed!

You can't have it both ways!

I was fibbing!

VO: The silver fox has done it again.

Thank you.

VO: Now, as for Jonathan, he's motoring on.

His next stop is Stoke on Trent, considered to be the spiritual home of Britain's pottery industry.

Mark you, that's not why we're here.

Oh, no.

We're here to see Heath House, a grand gothic mansion with a fascinating past - one which tells the story of an ambitious young wife, a family divided and the house that used to stand here being completely demolished.

Good afternoon.

Hi, Jonathan.

Very nice to see you.

JP: Ben.

BEN: Come on in.

VO: Today the estate is owned by Ben Philips, the great-great-great grandson of the people who had it built - John Burton Philips and his flamboyant wife, Joanna.

This is the inner hall, and... erm...

I think my ancestor, Joanna Philips, when she built the house, she wanted to created an impression for her guests, when they walked through, and... erm... here it is.

VO: Now, Joanna was an Essex girl, who quite fancied having the biggest and grandest home money could buy.

So, shortly after her pa-in-law passed away, she took what was his rather fine Georgian home and demolished it.

And in its place, she built this Victorian showpiece, with more than 60 rooms.

BEN: She was very ahead of her time, because the old Georgian house was pulled down in 1835... JP: Yeah.

I mean, she didn't like that?

BEN: No, she... she absolutely didn't.

Having been brought up in a Georgian house herself, she was sick to death of it, and she just wanted the most modern, most fashionable, most avant-garde, erm... that she could get hold of.

And the tragedy was that most of the furniture and the pictures in the old Georgian house, I think she either gave away or sold.

VO: Though allowing Joanna to raze the family home to the ground proved controversial, to say the least.

The old man died in 1834.

He was scarcely cold in his grave when Joanna commissioned the whole... the other one to be... And her sisters-in-law were so furious at what she'd done, that they never came up to the new house and never spoke to her.

Really?

So it cost... it caused a real rift in the family, yeah.

What a lady!

Yes.

She... she knew what she wanted.

VO: The house took four years to complete, and in the 170 years that have passed since then, many of the rooms have barely changed, though each generation has added to its interesting history.

For example, it was a military hospital in World War II, it's been visited by Florence Nightingale, and there's even a connection to Queen Victoria.

These items were given by Queen Victoria to my great aunt, as the Countess Blucher, and she had a child who died in infancy.

Victoria lost Albert.

So that's kind of a connection... BEN: Absolutely.

JP: Wow!

The two ladies were... were sort of, um, bonded in grief... BEN: Hm.

JP: ..I suppose, and... Well, Victoria was a great one for grieving.

Oh, huge, huge.

Can I have a look at some of this?

Do you mind?

Yes, by all means.

So that's Victoria and Albert, actually, in the middle there?

That's right, yeah.

And do you see?

There's a little photograph of Albert on the back, here... JP: Yes.

BEN: ..as well.

"To the Countess Blucher, "in remembrance of the best and greatest of princes, "from his broken-hearted widow, Victoria.

December 1861."

Wow!

VO: According to Ben, a visit to this grand old girl isn't complete without climbing the 80 foot tower that Joanna Philips insisted be incorporated into the design of the house, an experience which is breathtaking, in all senses of the word.

D'you know, I think every house should have one of these.

I'd love one at home.

I don't think the neighbors would approve though.

VO: Well, I should go for a pergola instead.

Anyway, let's talk about Philip.

He's off to his next shop, where, once again, he's found something he likes right on the doorstep.

PS: I like that.

VO: The jammy old devil!

PS: Morning.

DEALER: Morning.

PS: How are you, alright?

DEALER: Not too bad.

You?

Philip.

Good to see you.

Nice to meet you.

You alright?

"Magpie"... VO: Don't be fooled by this lovable charm - he's only after a discount.

PS: I found this outside.

DEALER: Yeah.

What d'you reckon that is, then?

I think it's an old pub sign, made out of aluminum... Yeah.

..and painted up.

Age?

Well, I dunno - 30/40 years maybe?

A little bit different.

Where's the price ticket on it?

It's just up there round the eye.

Is it?

Let's have a look.

(GASPS) How much?!

DEALER: A tenner.

PS: I like it... DEALER: Mm-hm?

..but what I want to do is have a look round... OK. ..and perhaps do a bit of a bulk buy off you.

DEALER: OK. PS: Is that alright?

VO: Oh, no - not that old chestnut!

Then again, there are some nice pieces in this shop, and what makes it a little different is that there's mix of old and new.

We've got a lock-up as well, choc-a-bloc, twice as big as this shop, full of stuff that we haven't even been through yet, so... Really?

Really.

Is it that way or that way?

Turn right, sir.

VO: I've said it before, and I'll say it again Philip Serrell, you jammy old devil!

Just a few miles away... Jonathan's headed for Cromford, a town famous for its connection to Richard Arkwright, one of the forefathers of the Industrial Revolution.

Remarkably, Arkwright's cotton mill - which in 1771 was the first to be successfully powered by water - is still standing, and today, amongst other things, it's home to Heritage Antiques.

It's another pair of clogs.

Can I not escape the clog by the end of the week?

VO: As you may recall, several days ago, Jonathan was extremely keen to buy this pair... OK. Well, you wouldn't take, you know, £25 or something for them?

DEALER: No.

JP: Really?

VO: ..but was pipped to the post by Philip, who bought them for 30.

Oh, I love you.

You're an angel.

Yes!

You are - you're ever so kind.

VO: Oh, yes, and to add insult to injury, he also made a tidy profit at auction.

Selling at £60.

VO: So now, perhaps, Jonathan can have his revenge.

Er, well, if you're interested in clogs, I do actually have a genuine pair of mill worker's clogs.

There we go, look.

Negotiating on clogs.

You know, I'm gonna have nightmares about this.

VO: Be gentle with him, Patrick.

If I were to buy a pair of clogs - and I'm not suggesting for a minute I really want to go down that route again, I've only really just recovered from it - erm... what would be your best price, if you're saying £45?

I would do those for £30.

JP: (INHALES SHARPLY) Ooh... now this is just like Groundhog Day.

VO: Ground-CLOG Day, actually, Jonathan!

Stay strong.

Well, they could do with a little bit of a polish, I have to say.

His did have quite a sti... a better finish on them.

Ah, but these were working footwear, you see.

Oh, I can tell, yes.

Yeah.

I did resist the urge to polish.

Yeah.

Just so I can exorcize this... this week's worth of, you know, trauma I've had, post-Clog-gate, I'm going to buy those, if you were to agree to £25.

I don't mean to make you cry.

DEALER: No.

JP: But this is helping me.

DEALER: Yes, I understand that.

JP: Really helping me.

OK.

Right, OK.

Thank you.

I'll show him!

There we go.

The clog returns.

Right, sir... VO: Back in Matlock though...

It's a bit... er... Where's he taking me?!

Welcome...

Right.

..to the lock-up.

VO: Cor, he loves it, the old codger!

Philip poking around all this... stuff.

You ever thought about stock-taking?

No - I don't think we'd have the time.

I d...

I just...

I wouldn't know where to start.

Now, that's got a few lenses with it.

I think...

It's no... there's no box or anything - that's exactly how it... er... how it's come.

Right.

I don't know anything about it whatsoever.

PS: You're in good company.

VO: Puh-lease - allow me.

This is what is called a monocular bench microscope, and it's designed for studying all manner of natural history specimens.

At auction, I think...

..I would see that making... 20-40, 30-50 quid - that sort of region.

OK.

If it's 20-40 quid, I got to try and buy it for 15 quid, which is nicking it off you.

Whoof!

Yeah.

Which really is nicking it off you.

I think I could get more... Yeah, I'm sure you could.

..in scrap, for the brass.

Er, yeah - well, that part's brass.

That isn't.

Right.

Erm, but we'll do... Can we take it back to the shop with us?

Yeah, sure.

Cuz I've got that lion as well.

OK. VO: And maybe, Mr Money Bags, you could also re-think that offer.

D'you know what, Matt?

Like a lot of things in life, it looks a lot better in the dark!

Yes!

VO: Now that is really cheeky.

Right.

Right, sir.

I was being mean when I bid 15 quid for that - too mean.

DEALER: Mm.

PS: I mean, I'd love to buy it for 20 quid, really.

DEALER: I'm sure you would.

And I'd like to sell if for 20 but I think, if you could come a little bit more... erm... and you did quite like the lion...

I think if you come a bit more, I'd chuck the lion in.

OK, I tell you what I'll do I'll give you 25 quid for that and the lion.

No.

That's... That's a little bit more.

I was gonna...

It's a little bit more!

I was gonna say 40 for that and the l... PS: What?

DEALER: 40, that and the lion.

No, I couldn't do that.

Honestly, I couldn't do that.

I don't think there's great age to that... and I just think it's fun.

DEALER: Yeah.

PS: I tell you what I'd do and this is my best shot, right, me finished after this.

I'll give you 30 quid for the two.

You wouldn't stretch to 35?

No, that's me finished, honestly.

But I don't mind if you say no.

Mm.

Well, I like you, and I want you to win, so £30.

PS: Oh, you're a good man.

DEALER: It's yours.

PS: Really?

DEALER: Yeah.

VO: And with that, this shopping trip is at an end.

Right, I'm gonna take those... VO: So, for the last time this week, the moment has arrived when our experts must reveal to each other what they've bought.

D'you know, we've actually... we've made it to the end.

I'm exhausted.

Absolutely exhausted.

JP: You start, you start.

PS: Shall I start this?

JP: Yeah.

PS: Right, well... No, you... That was in the antique center.

Yeah.

Actually, I never looked at that.

Who's it by?

Pietro.

There's a touch of the old... er... '30s about it, I'd say.

Yeah.

There's that really high deco feel about it.

Yeah, it's a bit like the old Wurlitzer, isn't it, at Blackpool?

JP: Yeah.

PS: Cost me, um, £55.

To be fair, I have sold them for less... Yeah.

..but then, they have made more.

VO: In other words, we can safely assume Jonathan's not a great fan.

Then again, he is the man who bought this little lady... Meet Clarissa.

(CHUCKLES) Right.

I'll just cover her legs.

Great, isn't it?

She also comes with a chair.

I think that... um...

I'm actually... My mind is speechless.

I'm not sure that the market in Wilmslow is gonna be ready for Clarissa.

VO: Yes, quite.

But perhaps the thing to really excite them is this... (CHUCKLES) A mangle!

I thought it was cheap.

Quite...

I... How much was it?

20 quid.

What do they make?

The most it can lose me is a tenner, right?

And on a good day, it might make me 20 or 30 quid.

That's what I thought.

Excellent.

Well, I... you know, I...

I like the optimism.

I mean...

I think...

I dunno, mangles... Can... can I just stop you?

JP, when we're talking optimism, you are so far ahead of me, in terms of optimism... you are at the cutting edge of optimism.

Oh, come on, come on.

OK, what's next, JP?

I really liked that.

Oh, that's fun, isn't it?

Little child's food bowl.

Sort of 1930s.

No, I think that's fun.

That cost me a tenner.

Oh, that's profit.

A Chad Valley, nine-hole golf course.

Erm, I think that... that the dish will get your golf clubs out of trouble.

JP: D'you think?

PS: Yeah, I do.

I think the golf clubs are worth 15 quid/20 quid.

PS: Really?

JP: Do you not think so?

Um... no.

VO: Oh well - beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Speaking of which...

I really thought this was just so much fun.

Look.

What d'you reckon?

It's a pub sign.

It's kinda fun, isn't it?

Novelty object.

JP: Novelty object like this... PS: Yeah.

Well, people will stick this sort of thing on the wall... PS: Yeah.

JP: ..if their surname's Lyon.

Yeah.

Actually, I bought that and that.

I b... That... that, I think is fantastic, right?

It's a toothpick holder?

No, no, no, no - it's a little... it's a l... it's a little billiards trophy.

That is really sweet.

There we go.

PS: Just a little sketch, isn't it?

JP: But it's...

I mean, there's so much work involved.

Yeah.

What - '20s?

'20s to '30s.

'20s/'30s, and it's worth 10-20 quid.

I paid £7 for it.

Well, you're home and hosed, aren't you?

Ah.

Two little miniature cricket bats.

You're a bit batty about cricket, aren't you?

Yeah.

I love my cricket.

Ashes bats.

And cricket's uber-popular at the minute.

They're worth... 10-15 each?

£20 to £30?

Er...

I paid £30 for the two, and I think they'll make 30-50.

VO: Well, you have to admire his confidence.

This, now, is my penultimate purchase.

Tell me about it.

I mean, I don't wanna sit here and diss my own product, so you can do it for me.

Er... well, it's about 1880/1890s.

It's a leather top hat box.

JP: Yeah.

Not in the finest condition but I think it will... it'll clean up, looking rather nice, you know, with a bit of saddle soap or something.

Yeah.

I've seen them make quite a lot of money.

I've seen them do very, very well.

VO: And to be blunt, Jonathan could really use the profits.

I looked on the website, and these things are called petrological microscopes.

Realistically, Philip, I think it sh... it might make £20-£30.

VO: Not quite what Philip was hoping to hear.

Can he be right?

My word!

Those are lovely, aren't they?

It's a little pair of, um, cotton mill worker's clogs.

They're actually worker's clogs, aren't they?

Yeah.

I think these are nice.

I like these.

And I would have bought these.

Would you?

Yeah, I would.

I would.

I think they've got a great social history.

I would think that those are probably £20-£30 worth.

Yeah.

I paid £25 for them.

Well, that's alright, isn't it?

So we'll see.

Yeah.

But I do like those.

VO: Well, it's quite an eclectic mix, but what do our experts really think?

Go on - put the boot in.

He's put a lot of money on the one object, which I think is the accordion, to be honest.

The microscope could be his little... his little... um... the thing to run away, you know?

So he could b... he could have done well with that.

I think he's...

The child's bowl is absolutely lovely, and I can see that doing really quite well.

And as for Clarissa...

I think he's been spending too much time on his own.

VO: After starting this road trip in Sheffield, the lads end their journey and the week in Wilmslow, one of the most affluent areas in Britain.

And not surprisingly, then, it's home to Premiership footballers, WAGs, actors and multi-millionaires, which could bode well at today's auction at Maxwells of Wilmslow.

Are you feeling confident, JP?

O-o-o-o-oh, dear!

Er... Look, you know, I really had hoped that I was going to find the little gem, to save my bacon on the last auction.

I thought you'd brought it with you.

VO: Though before auctioneer Max Blackmore takes to the podium, what does he think of our experts' choices?

They're all interesting, quirky items, and I'm sure we'll have quite a bit of interest in most of them.

Clarissa... We don't often get an opportunity to sell such a nice young lady.

I think she'll either fly or flop.

VO: Yes.

Philip started this leg with £382.42 and has gone on to spend £140 on five auction lots.

Jonathan, meanwhile, began with just £152.80, and has spent £124, also on five auction lots, all of which he's hoping - nay, praying - will bring about a reversal of his fortunes.

JP, this is the beginning of the end, isn't it?

It is the beginning of the end, yeah, absolutely.

Or is it the end of the beginning?

It's the end.

JP: At least I know that.

PS: Right, OK, fine.

VO: Yeah.

And now we got that sorted, let the auction start.

First up, it's Philip's rather grand accordion.

I can start this at, um... MAX: At £15.

PS: Ouch.

At £15 with me.

At £15.

At 20.

At 25.

At 30.

At £30, commission's out.

35.

40.

45.

50.

£50.

I think it's a sort of result, really.

At 55 we're to the net.

Anybody else now?

£55 it is, then.

Well, I've come all that way to not break even!

So that's...

It could have been a lot, lot worse.

VO: Indeed it could.

Though, as Philip so rightly points out, after commission, I'm afraid it's a loss.

Next, it's Clarissa, the woman who's stolen Jonathan's heart and perhaps his marbles.

JP: I like that.

PS: What?

"A mannequin 'Clarissa', "approx.

5'10", GSOH".

Good sense of humor.

VO: WLTM - would like to meet - a young Pratt!

But will the good people of Wilmslow feel?

Start me off.

What shall we say?

£40 for Clarissa there.

£40.

30.

MAX: Come on.

£20 then.

JP: Oh, come on, someone!

£20.

VO: Oh, dear!

Perhaps she'll be going home with Jonathan.

His missus will be pleased.

Start me at 10.

10 bid.

We're going up now.

£10.

I'll go in...

I'll go in twos.

12.

14.

16.

You're not together?

18.

20.

22.

25.

28.

Oh, we've got a bidding war going on!

£28.

VO: Yeah, maybe there's some hope yet.

35.

35 in the orange there.

At £35 it's the lady's bid.

£35 and we're going.

All done and selling.

(GAVEL) JP: Oh, OK.

I redeemed myself a little.

I think you got outta jail with that, mate, I really do!

VO: I just knew Clarissa would break Jonathan's heart.

Next, something completely batty - well, two of them - and they're Philip's 1950s jobbies.

Well, let's start at 15, then, shall we?

15 bid.

20.

25.

30.

35.

£35.

Further bids now.

At £35.

All done at £35, then, on commission.

So it's all going wonderfully well at the moment, isn't it?!

This is very unlike you, Philip.

VO: But looking on the bright side, it is our first profit of the day, and the only way, as they say, is up.

So let's see what the rather cautious bidders make of Jonathan's Victorian top hat box.

It does look absolutely knackered, though, doesn't it?!

20 bid.

At £20.

25.

30.

Thirt... 35, seated.

At £35.

Keep going, keep going, keep going!

At £35.

Any further bids now?

Come on, come on, come on!

It's in the room and selling.

MAX: 40 bid.

45.

JP: Ooh!

There we go!

MAX: £45.

JP: Yes!

Seated at £45.

And selling this time.

(GAVEL) JP: Hooray!

Oh!

JP...

I've never seen anybody getting so excited, after... (HIGH-PITCHED) £5 profit, that!

He's gone a bit squeaky, JP!

VO: Actually, it's a £10 profit, before commission, but who's counting?

Up next, the Philip Serrell pub collection, and after all, who wouldn't want their very own lion masthead and billiards trophy?

30?

25?

Come on, start me somewhere.

20?

20 bid in the front row.

Thank you very much.

£20.

At £20.

Any further bids now, for the billiard trophy and the pub sign?

Any further bids?

In the front row and selling then, for £20.

It's a profit.

Yeah.

Well, it's 100% profit.

VO: Yes.

Well done, Philip.

That's big money, especially for you two.

Perhaps Jonathan's locomotive sketch can finally stir some excitement.

Start me somewhere, then?

10, if you like.

Start me at 10?

10 bid, with the lady, at £10.

At £10.

Further bids now?

At 10.

Any further bids?

JP: Oh, come on!

MAX: £10 I have.

All done.

At the finish, you are racing away now, aren't you?

VO: Yup, I won't lie to you - it's not looking good.

But let's see if Philip's mangle from Matlock can make some moolah.

Start me off for it.

£30.

What about this one, then?

£30 for the mangle?

30?

20.

Start me at 10, then.

£10 for a cast-iron mangle.

Go for a fiver.

This is going wonderfully well JP, this... Two quid.

Sell it for a pound.

MAX: £5, then.

JP: Oh, he's getting lower!

Please.

I am in trouble now.

Five bid.

JP: Hey!

MAX: Well done.

There's no interest on the net, apparently.

£5 in the room.

I think that's a result, really, isn't it?!

VO: You know, I think we're going to have to lock the doors and shake the money from the bidders' pockets.

No?

Alright, then.

Moving on.

This one's for the kids - it's Jonathan's alphabet bowl and Chad Valley golf set.

For the children's items, 12?

15.

18.

20.

£20 with me.

Somebody over here.

We're up to fives now.

25.

£25.

We're in fives.

Commission's out.

It's your bid at 25, madam.

Further bids, child's bowl and game?

Surely worth more!

Surely worth more!

Any further bids?

We're up to 25.

And selling.

No interest on the net.

It's to the room, then.

I think that was cheap.

JP: (SIGHS) VO: Ah, well.

Mustn't grumble, eh?

So, Philip's last hope for this auction - his petrological microscope.

But just quietly - ha!

- I almost can't bear to look.

£80.

No interest at 80?

Must be worth that.

VO: Oh!

This is a travesty!

50 bid.

At £50.

55.

60.

65.

70.

VO: Ah, that's a bit more like it!

75.

75 now.

75, it's cheap.

£75.

Further bids now.

At £75.

I'm sort of OK with that but I wouldn't know whether it was cheap or dear.

It was a 50...!

"I'm OK with a £50 profit"!

VO: Yes, come on Philip - this is cause for celebration!

Anyone care for a sweet sherry, vicar?

Though before we pop the cork, attention, bidders - there's one last item to go.

Yes, Jonathan's fate in this contest ultimately comes down to a pair of old clogs.

I have a bid of 20.

Any further bids now?

At £20.

We're up to 25 on the net.

MAX: £30.

JP: Yes!

Get in there, JP!

They were thought to be so cheap, that everybody threw them out, so you don't see them any more.

We're in the room at 30.

It's against the net.

JP: Come on, net.

MAX: Selling to the room.

MAX: Any further bids?

JP: Come on, net.

Well, I touched...

I tickled a fiver out of that one.

PS: You did, you did, yeah.

JP: There we go.

I feel like now I can...

I...

I...

I'm at peace with myself now.

VO: That's good, because after commission, it's another loss.

I'll tell you what though - it's time for me to buy you a drink, innit?

JP: Yeah, let's go and... PS: Come on, mate.

..count our... earnings.

Our ill-gotten losses!

VO: Jonathan started this final leg with £152.80, and despite it being his last hurrah, he went on to make yet another loss - this time, £5.10 - which means he ends the week on just £147.70.

Philip, meanwhile, hit the ground running, with £382.42, and despite a modest profit of £15.80, he ends with a fabulous £398.22 making him this week's grand winner!

JP, that's the end!

There is no more!

I know, Philip.

What are we gonna do now?!

Well, I dunno.

I'll have to back to my o... my family and my life again.

D'you know, it's been an emotional and financial rollercoaster.

VO: So, where did Jonathan go wrong?

Let's have a review, shall we?

JP: I'm gonna beat you by hundreds of pounds.

PS: Ha!

Really?!

I'm gonna go... VO: Shouldn't have done that.

I buy whatever I see.

VO: Big mistake.

You're mad!

VO: And then there's... Clarissa!

Got beautiful eyes, you know that?

VO: But most of all, I think he underestimated the silver fox.

Congratulations, Phil - you've played a blinder!

Next week on the Antiques Road Trip we meet the ever-so crafty Anita Manning.

You're not flirting with, me are you, to try and get it cheaper?

(WHISPERS) Would I flirt with you?!

VO: And the ever-so-cheeky James Lewis.

I'll give you 30 for that but throw that mallet in.

How cheeky!

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