VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts... Alright, fair enough.

It's a really cute subject.

VO: ..behind the wheel of a classic car.

NATASHA: Make it so.

MARGIE: Here we go.

VO: And a goal to scour Britain for antiques.

Frankly terrifying.

VO: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

I've lost money!

VO: There'll be worthy winners... Get in there!

VO: ..and valiant losers.

Could have been worse.

VO: Will it be the high road to glory?

Ooh.

VO: Or the slow road to disaster?

Ugh!

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip!

Dig that!

VO: Good morning, Perthshire!

PHIL: Perth, five and three-quarter miles.

Adelaide, 3,000 miles.

You alright there, Phil?

PHIL: Yeah, living the dream.

TIM: OK. VO: Who needs Australia when you can have Scotland?

Auctioneer uncle Phil Serrell and coin expert master Tim Medhurst are back in the '70s Triumph Herald, flushed with the fresh air and the sweet smell of auction success last time.

I think that's probably, for me, a Road Trip first, seeing 10 profits in an auction before.

It is, for me.

And how long have you been doing Road Trips?

Oh, 1847, I think, was the first one.

VO: The ancient one started out last time with £200 and did rather well, and sets out today with £266.50.

But the fates smiled on youth, and Tim - great name - piled on those pounds sterling, growing his 200 to a big fat £374.70.

But are they still pals?

What have you found out about me that surprised you, or you didn't know before?

Erm...you're a big softie.

Oh, shut up.

You are, you're a lovely, lovely guy.

Don't tell people that.

Do not tell people that.

I've really enjoyed hanging out with you, Uncle Phil.

Now I wanna growl.

You've got a wicked sense of humor, and you make me laugh.

And I think...and I think that's a really good thing in today's world.

VO: Sounds like a burgeoning bromance to me.

Phil and Tim set out from Northumberland, heading north to the Scottish Highlands on a grand tour, which will end at a final auction in Nottingham.

Now then, what does this farm grow?

Peat.

Potatoes.

Those are potato boxes.

Oh, potatoes.

You see now, you could turn one of those into a coffee table.

Buy that, turn it upside down.

You could buy a lot of those, I'm sure.

We've got enough money to probably buy seven or eight.

No, we haven't, you have.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, less of the "we" here.

VO: Worcestershire is where they'll be auctioning their treasures from this trip, which begins today in Perth.

Right.

The Tay, the Tay, the silvery Tay flows from Perth to Dundee every day.

If that's not what famously bad 19th century poet William McGonagall actually wrote, it's close enough.

And the fair city of Perth is where both our gents are bound this morning with their stuffed wallets.

TIM: It looks interesting.

PHIL: It does, doesn't it?

TIM: We've got lots of cash to spend.

Right, let's get in there and find some treasure.

VO: Game on!

Vectran Vintage does indeed look good, packed with an array of fine vintage and collectables to tempt our gentlemen.

Oh, now we're talking.

Hello, mother.

Timbo, what do you reckon?

I could see you in that.

Really?

That is worrying.

VO: That really is worrying.

Switch the channel, love.

TIM: This is a fireguard.

So if you had your open fireplace, you'd need something in front of it to protect things falling out and potentially things falling in as well, so that's why these were made.

The main influence for me, I can see, is perhaps a man called Charles Rennie Mackintosh.

And, as we know, he was a very famous late 19th, early 20th century Scottish designer and architect.

And he had a lot of influence on the art nouveau, arts and crafts, and other movements, like the secessionist movement.

And in this design, I can see, up here, the emblems resonate with some of his designs.

The idea with the arts and crafts movement is that, basically, how it was made being shown.

So the rivets on show, and the hinges, and all of the sort of faults were on display.

Everything was handmade, and it was going away from that Industrial Revolution, which was taking over with machinery, basically.

So people were championing things made with their hands, and this looks completely handmade.

I would date it to around 1900 to 1910, and it's not your average fireguard.

I just quite like it.

It's priced up at £49, and I think it's quite nice.

In an auction, perhaps £80, on a good day, so it might be worth having a go at.

VO: Meanwhile, Phil is neither up nor down.

PHIL: I think these are really quite interesting.

This is a set of late Victorian dairy scales.

They're by W&T Avery.

And I love this porcelain pan, because we've got here "Justitia Virtutum Regina".

I used to enjoy Latin at school, but it is a bit ropey, but that is "justice is the queen of virtues".

These things were never sold as works of art, they're working scales, so it's really lovely that that porcelain pan is complete, it's not damaged, it's not cracked, and it's not crazed, it's just in good order.

I've kind of got to get those for, like, £40 because on a bad day, they're gonna make 25, £35.

On a good day, they might make 45 or 50.

But with all the weights, you could possibly make two lots out of it.

That might be stretching it a bit, but, you know, needs must when the devil drives... ..and the devil is driving.

VO: Get thee behind me, Satan!

Looks like Tim's overtaking.

Right, Claire, I have found this firescreen.

Now, it's priced up at £49.

What do you reckon on that?

CLAIRE: 35?

TIM: 35.

I think that's a good discount.

It's a deal.

Super.

Thank you very much.

Lovely.

VO: Cheerio, then, to the nearly-departed Tim.

OK, Granddad, keep up.

I'm gonna be very cheeky.

I've seen one thing I want to buy off you, which is those Avery scales on the steps, but I can't even get close to your price.

You've got £80 on them, and my best is, like, 40 quid.

PHIL: Can you do that?

CLAIRE: OK. PHIL: Really?

CLAIRE: Yeah, go on, then.

PHIL: You're an angel.

CLAIRE: If I must.

There we are, then.

Thank you very much.

Lovely, thank you very much.

Thanks very much.

Cheers!

VO: Cheers!

Visiting Highland Perthshire in 1844, Queen Victoria wrote of rejoicing in the beauties of nature, the sight of mountains and the pure air.

North of the city of Perth, Killiekrankie is indeed tranquil, but if you had been here in 1689, you'd have been deafened by the sounds of a bloody battle, caused by violent religious conflict, which had riven Britain and Ireland since the Protestant Reformation.

(ECHOING SOUNDS OF BATTLE) Oh, I say, look!

(LAUGHS) Dressed for the part, Tim's meeting Scott McMaster of the National Trust for Scotland to hear about this defining moment in British history.

SCOTT: Well, it really starts with the removal of James II, or James VII of Scotland.

He had only reigned for three years, and the major problem for him was he was a Catholic in a Protestant country.

And despite promising religious tolerance, he didn't really.

He appointed key Catholics in various positions of government, and, eventually, the Protestant nobles had enough of him.

VO: In 1688, James was deposed, and his daughter Mary and her Protestant husband, William of Orange, became coregents of England, before also being offered the Scottish crown.

Now, that stuck in the throats of a lot of the Highland Jacobites.

The main thing was that only God could actually depose a king, not man.

VO: The Jacobites rose up to defend Catholicism and the divine right of kings in a political rebellion which would span the next half century.

And they were rallied to action by a formidable general.

A man called Bonnie Dundee, or James Graham of Claverhouse, he's got two names.

Bonnie Dundee, because he was so strikingly handsome.

His other nickname is Bloody Clavers, because he's quite ruthless in repressing... A bit like myself.

Yeah, a bit like yourself, but even worse.

He carried out a lot of atrocities, if that was the word you could use.

So he had a reputation of even being in league with the Devil, and the idea was that to kill this man, you would shoot him with a silver bullet.

But he led the Jacobite army.

VO: Graham mustered 2,500 mostly Highland troops at Blair Castle, whilst William and Mary's troops, under General Mackay, marched north to quell them.

Laden with heavy packs on a hot July day, 4,000 redcoats entered the pass of Killiecrankie, the main road to the Highlands, and found themselves in a trap.

SCOTT: And they reached here about noon.

But we're in almost what feels like a ravine.

So you can imagine that, as these men were marching along, they're confident, they've got the weaponry, and superior numbers, with about maybe 1,200 animals with them, because this is an army that's on the move.

They know the area a little bit, but they don't really know what they're facing, either.

And they've got their packs on, it's the summer, as well, which doesn't really help, you've got big woolen tunics.

And the Jacobites are perhaps even taunting them, you know, shouting insults and stuff, so they have to move from this area right up onto the plateau, as quickly as they can.

So it'd be quite an experience, and quite an eerie experience as well, cos you're never really sure if they're gonna jump out at any moment.

Morale might have been high, but you're still a bit kind of on edge.

VO: The Jacobites, up on the high ground, wait all day, knowing that they have the enemy surrounded.

We're standing in a spot, then, where the Jacobite soldiers were lined up, dressed similar to how I am?

Yeah, not all Jacobites wore the plaid, or the Phillimore, as it's called.

It looks great, it's quite striking, but it's pretty useless if you're actually in a battle, in some cases.

They actually donned the plaid off in the battle... Whipped it off.

..tied their shirt tails between their legs and went running down.

And you can imagine a hairy guy coming running at you with a big sword.

I think you'd run in the opposite direction.

I certainly would, that's for sure.

VO: The Highland charge was designed to shock and terrify.

Lordy.

Charge!

VO: With clansmen hurtling downhill, brandishing firearms and swords, shouting battle cries in Gaelic.

God, he's...he's tough, that Tim, isn't he?

And in half an hour, the slaughter was over.

Jacobites, outnumbered two to one, seized the day, as surviving Redcoats fled.

One made the now famous Soldier's Leap.

SCOTT: Several stragglers managed to get away, including MacBean.

He's a Redcoat who manages to make his way all the way down here.

He's heavily pursued by several Highlanders.

So he comes to this waterfall, and, miraculously, he managed to jump 18 feet across, and only suffering the loss of one shoe as it falls off.

Of course, the Jacobites don't pursue him, and he manages to escape, and he later writes an account of this.

He makes a living out of this, actually.

What was the result of that battle, then?

Well, it's a victory for the Jacobites, and it really should have been the final victory for them, as well.

But Dundee is actually killed, or is mortally wounded, depending which account you read.

# Come ye by Killiecrankie-o... # VO: And three weeks after Killiecrankie, the Jacobite army was defeated at Dunkeld.

But the war was far from over, as political turmoil continued into the next century.

After the Act of Union in 1707, there's talk of a possible rising in 1708.

And of course, the final battle is the rising in '45, which ends in 1746 at the Battle of Culloden, which is absolutely disastrous for the Jacobites.

VO: The merciless aftermath of that last brutal battle, pitched on British soil, shaped Scotland's future for generations.

At Killiecrankie, for one day, history might have turned out quite differently.

# On the braes O' Killiecrankie-o.

# VO: Right, then, let's find out how Phil's battling on in the Triumph.

PHIL: This really is lovely, lovely, lovely countryside.

I actually have no idea where I am.

I know that I'm on my way to... Is it 'Scoon' or 'Scone'?

VO: 'Scoon', I reckon.

He's meandering a few miles north of Perth to the one-time capital of the Kingdom of Scotland, where Scottish monarchs were crowned.

And maybe he'll find some crown jewels at Rustic Retro.

Or then again, perhaps he won't.

Anyway, sounds right up Philip Serrell's street.

(BELL RINGS) George opened the shop 18 months ago, and it's jam-packed.

PHIL: See, this is an old fishing creel here.

When you're in the Tweed, or the Tay, you'd be fishing with your fly rod, and I'm guessing that you'd feed your line into this canvas bag in the front, and all your other bits and bobs would be around your neck.

I mean, I think that's just absolutely lovely.

Utterly useless, unless you want to go fishing or collect fishing items, but that's a cool thing.

VO: Yeah.

Let's see what else there is to net.

Have you got any other enamel signs, George, or is it just these?

GEORGE: There's one at the window that might do well for you.

It's Perth Dye Works.

They call that a flag sign, don't they?

Yeah, that probably would have been bent over at one point, and stuck on a wall.

And is it double-sided?

Yeah.

It's a little beat up, but... Well, aren't we all?

Enamel signs...

Farmers used to use them, didn't they... Yeah.

..for patching their sheds up?

Patching sheds, that's about the only place you're gonna find good ones now.

I mean, I saw one the other day make £10,000, but it had a car on it and all the rest of it.

I mean...

It's all about graphics, isn't it?

They need to be quite pictorial.

But that, I would think, is probably between the wars?

Yeah.

You'd really be round about... 20?

1920?

Yeah, late '20s, early '30s, I would have thought.

Yeah.

Can that come right, George?

Yeah.

I can put that out, nice price.

I kind of quite like that, but I just want to go and have a look and see what you've got outside.

(BELL RINGS) VO: After you!

I'm a sucker for all this stuff.

What's that?

I'm not sure, Phil.

It's some sort of architectural sort of thing, maybe from either side of a doorpost or something.

I quite like that.

If only you'd got a pair of these.

Yeah, it's a shame.

There was a pair, but a lady came in and bought one, and only wanted one.

She wouldn't take the other one.

So that could be the right money, because it's sitting there on its own.

How old is that?

Where's that from?

Is it Scottish?

I would think so.

It came out of a garden just down the road from here.

So that's just polished granite.

I'm thinking that enamel sign and that, you could put that together as a lot, couldn't you?

Yeah, I suppose it could be... ..kind of related, I suppose, yeah.

Well, it's sort of architecturally stuff, isn't it?

Architectural, social history.

Let's go back in, cos I haven't been in the one room yet, have I?

Yeah, there's still the one room.

VO: So there's more?

Going straight this way?

Yeah, straight through.

What the hell is that?

I think it's an old mincer.

Oh, I love that.

It's made in Glasgow, by MacNaughton's, probably turn of the century.

PHIL: You'd have a canvas belt, wouldn't you, and that would be affixed to an oil engine, or a steam engine, or, like, an old Lister's engine.

It drove, it worked this, and then whatever you wanted to mince, you'd shove in there, and it kind of spat it out the other end, didn't it?

It's like a lump of scrap, but I kind of like it as a piece of sculpture.

Yeah, it'd be a great thing in somebody's kitchen, just as a... PHIL: Why?

GEORGE: ..something to look at.

Did that come in worth the money?

Yeah, we could do a good deal on that one.

Good man.

Well, I might put a package deal together.

Yeah, yeah.

VO: I need to go and lie down.

I can't keep up with this.

PHIL: That's a big salmon reel, isn't it?

Yeah, that would be a big salmon reel.

But this is a little trout reel.

Yeah, wee trout reel, trotting reel, fly reel.

And this is a...

Probably late Victorian?

Yeah, late Victorian fly wallet.

And it's a leather fly wallet, so you would have kept all of your flies in here.

GEORGE: There's some nice big flies in the middle, I think.

VO: Well, there's no flies on our Phil, that's for a fact, and by anyone's calculations, his time here is up.

PHIL: So there's the two fishing reels, the fly wallet and the creel.

GEORGE: I can do that for 40.

Right.

That's that done.

Thank you very much.

Next was the mincer.

What was that?

30.

Job's a good'un.

That's that done.

Thank you very much.

PHIL: The enamel sign.

GEORGE: That was 20.

There's that, and then there's that lump of granite.

Yeah.

Another 20.

You're a good man.

Thank you very much indeed.

There we go.

VO: Did you get that?

£110 in total for that haul.

And is that George's wife, Valentina, with some home baking?

I think it could be.

Oh, look at that!

Scones from Scone.

Scones from Scone.

Really?

Specially made for you.

I've chosen that one cos it's the biggest.

VO: Of course you have, Phil.

Well, look at that.

They do look scrummy, don't they?

Ooh.

It's so good.

I'd still like to buy one thing off you.

Mm-hm?

VO: What?

What's that thing with flowers on the back shelf?

I'll get my wee lad to get it.

Josh, can you get me that out, please?

JOSH: Here you are.

PHIL: Ah!

See what you think.

PHIL: Oh, it's a paperweight.

But it looks Italian, doesn't it?

Mm-hm.

It was made in Derbyshire.

Yeah.

It's a piece of Ashbourne marble, which I think I'm right in saying is polished slate.

Mm-hm.

It's inlaid with those flowers, 19th century, and I think it's an interesting thing.

How much is that?

It can be £15.

VO: Oh... Nudge-nudge... Nudge-nudge, deal!

VO: I thought he was going to offer for the entire shop!

All that for a total of £125.

Woo!

Do you know, it's time for our duo to call it a day.

If we were gonna be a really famous double act, who do you think we'd be?

Well, there's Tom and Jerry.

Pinky and Porky.

How about Jeeves and Wooster?

I'm from Worcester, you can't... Jeeves, Wooster.

Jeeves and Wooster.

Just call me Bertie from now on.

VO: Nighty night.

VO: It's a brand-new day.

(BOTH LAUGH) TIM: Oh dear!

VO: Talk about right side of the bed, eh?

Highland cows, Highland cow action.

Look at these, Timbo.

They're all looking at us!

Ah!

Moo!

I love Highland cows.

They've got horns like yours.

VO: Ha-ha!

My goodness, we are excitable this morning.

Right, down to business?

How much money have you spent?

A massive £35 of my... Oh!

..almost £400 budget.

That's not even a tenth!

I'm not rubbing it in or anything.

What I want to do is be a good steward of my money, in a biblical sense.

Really?

I want to look after it, and... Garnish it, gather it up and go forth and multiply.

VO: It was Phil who went forth and multiplied yesterday, splurging on a set of scales.

PHIL: All I've got to hope is that this purchase doesn't weigh heavily on my mind.

VO: Ooh!

And a collection of fishing items, an enamel sign, a granite post, a paperweight and a mincer... Oh, I love that.

VO: ..leaves him with £101.50.

While frugal Tim made one purchase - an arts and crafts fireguard.

This one has got something about it.

It's got the look.

VO: So now, he's stewarding a substantial £339.70.

PHIL: I think if you walk into a shop today, and you see a third gear, I'd buy it, if I were you...cos we don't seem to have one in this car.

(BOTH LAUGH) VO: Go get 'em, tiger!

After dropping Phil off, Tim has thrown the Triumph into high gear and cruised along the north side of the Tay to Glencarse, and the promising-looking Michael Young Antiques.

There's no stopping him.

Fine-looking place, this.

£200.

£600.

£40,000.

That is out of my budget.

VO: Just a tad.

Carry on, soldier.

TIM: I've just been looking through this box of, let's say, junk.

There's sort of old picture frames, and brassware and knobs and things, and there's this lovely, lovely little carved knife.

It's basically an early penknife, a tool for whittling sticks.

What I love about this is the whole thing, apart from the blade and the metal mounts, are all carved wood, and beautifully carved, as well, with these floral scrolls.

I'm not an expert in knives.

However, this, to me, looks like it's probably Dutch or German, dating to, say, the late 19th, early 20th century.

I just think the quality speaks in this, and I think, in an auction, it might do quite well.

I wonder if it's a cheap price.

That would be good, wouldn't it?

VO: I dare say.

Anything else?

Ah, some incidental music.

(FUR ELISE OUT OF TUNE) VO: Oh, dear.

Mm, not quite as Beethoven intended.

Next!

I love these screens, dressing screens.

They're not something we really use now, do we?

We have a shower curtain, or something like that, and this one is wonderful, because it's decorated all over, both sides, with these really nice printed scraps.

It is absolutely covered in colorful pictures of pretty women, handsome men, fruit, flowers, animals, famous people... And here we've got Benjamin Disraeli, and he died in the 1880s, so this would help date the screen to, I would suggest, nearer the end of his life, around the 1880s to 1900.

It's got no price on it, as far as I can see.

It has got some wear and tear, but it is about 150 years old.

This, to me, sums up 19th century social history, and it really does shout "Victorian".

It's fussy and it's fun, and I think this is great.

VO: Time to talk to the eponymous Michael Young.

TIM: Now, I have found this.

Mm-hm.

Little knife.

What do you reckon to it?

There's no price on it.

Er, how much?

I would suggest 25 quid.

Does that suit you?

25.

Yeah, that suits me.

I have spotted one other thing, the fourfold dressing screen.

Oh, yeah.

We've done 25 on that, if we can shake at... Can we shake at 65?

Yeah, yeah, that's good.

So 90 quid for the two.

Yeah, OK, that's good.

Yeah?

£90.

Right, thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

You're a gent.

There we are.

VO: You see, there were things here with your name on.

Here we go.

Woohoo!

VO: Time for Phil to go gallivanting north now to Butterstone, near Dunkeld, in the heart of Perthshire's Big Tree Country, among acres of beautiful forests of fir, oak, pine and birch.

And it's the birch tree, and the ancient and largely forgotten practice of tapping its sap, which has brought Phil here to meet Rob and Gabrielle Clamp, and baby Roran.

Their company, Birken Tree, is reviving some of the traditional remedies once associated with this native species.

PHIL: So these trees here, is there a Scottish term for them?

ROB: Yeah, yeah, so in old Scots, these trees were called birk, or birken.

In Scotland, we have something over 250,000 acres of birch woodland, that's 200 million birch trees.

After the last ice age, birch was the first tree to colonize Scotland, and there would have been woodland all over this whole landscape at that point.

Yeah.

But these trees are, what, two or 300 years old?

Yeah, about two, 300 years old.

The birch woods here form part of the great northern boreal forest, the temperate forest.

So Canada, Siberia, Scandinavia, Scotland, all have this big belt of forest stretching all the way around the world.

So these trees, they look really magical.

Did they have magical properties and all that sort of stuff?

People believed they did back in ancient Celtic times.

Birch, certainly in Scotland, has been used for at least we know 5,000 years.

People knew that the sap in particular had healing properties and they would use that as a spring tonic after a long winter and drink it straight out of the tree.

They called the spring sap the water of life.

Really?

In Gaelic, "uisge beatha".

Which is now... PHIL: Uisge beatha?

ROB: Uisge beatha.

Which is now associated with whisky, but, in fact, birch sap was the original uisge beatha.

VO: Among myriad health benefits attributable to birch sap, people once believed that it could cure baldness.

It's even said that Queen Victoria, on one of many visits to her beloved Balmoral, took birch water for this very purpose.

These old remedies have long been consigned to the realms of folklore, but Rob and Gabrielle are revitalizing them for the 21st century.

And they're interested in all parts of the tree.

You can use the leaves to make a tea as well.

We still have some from last year that are dried that we can make a tea, if you want.

Brew?

Sounds like a good thing.

Come on, let's go.

Let's go.

I presume you've got to make a fire now.

Oh yes.

I feel like a real woodman here, you know.

VO: Phil Serrell - Boy Scout.

Rob is a forester and has the permission from the Cardney Estate to make a small fire.

So, here are some birch leaves.

And we think it might have healing properties.

Well, people were using it for urinary infections and bladder problems and things like that.

Thanks.

Has it got any rejuvenating properties?

Will it make me younger?

Well, actually, it's really good for the skin as well.

PHIL: Really?

GABRIELLE: Yeah.

You'd better go and get a few more than two leaves!

(BOTH LAUGH) VO: Kettle's boiling.

Look at that.

VO: Even if he's doubtful about the health benefits, how's the brew?

What a pourer.

Right, let's give it a go.

Do I look any younger?

Not yet.

Yeah, well...

It doesn't half taste good.

VO: But it's the sap which Rob and Gabrielle bottle and sell as Birken Water, which is really why Phil has come here.

For just three weeks each year, as winter turns to spring, Rob is one of the few people harvesting birch sap, once widely used to treat a host of ailments.

And this is the time.

What I'm gonna do now is drill a small hole in the tree.

It doesn't hurt the tree.

We're gonna put a plastic tap in and then hang the bag off the tap.

Does it matter how high you do it?

Generally about four feet is about the optimum kind of height to get the maximum flow of sap.

Look at the water coming out now, look.

So this is a tap often used in America and Canada for tapping maple trees.

In Scotland, we use them for tapping birch trees.

Now it just fits snugly into the hole.

That's like pure water.

Well, it's the sap.

So it's the mineral-rich ground water the tree's pulling up through the root system, converting it into essential vitamins and minerals and enzymes before it goes into leaf.

It's filling up, isn't it?

Yeah, sometimes these bags can be filled overnight.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, they're 10-litre bags.

What amazes me is who was the first person to think of drilling a hole in a tree to get water out of it?

Why on earth would you do that?

Can I try this now?

ROB: Yes.

Right, hold on a minute.

Well... Has it worked?

Instantaneous.

Yeah, well, I think what we'll stick with...

I don't know if it works or not, but I've got to tell you, it's really nice water.

ROB: You know, we believe it's good for the immune system, it's good for the skin and the hair and the teeth.

And it's sustainable.

VO: And slainte mhaith to an entrepreneurial family working to save an ancient tradition from fading away.

Now, let's catch up with our erstwhile Highland soldier.

I do want to beat Phil.

I love him and we're having a lot of fun, but I still want to win.

VO: Fighting talk, Jacobite man!

And just to prove he can't get enough of Bonnie Dundee, Tim's headed there right now.

His last port of call is the city of Dundee, looking bonnie indeed, at the mouth of Scotland's longest river, where jute once arrived from India and whaling ships sailed for the Arctic.

Clepington Antiques & Collectables Centre, a former Victorian dyeworks, housing nine rooms belonging to Derek, and they are all positively overflowing.

Goodies from a pound to 1,500.

A mincer.

That's a very Phil sort of thing, isn't it?

I can imagine him buying that.

VO: Spooky.

That's cool, look.

The Scotsman newspaper, 1830.

Cloisonne, an owl with a hat on it.

Pine cone.

Pepper grinder.

VO: Oh, come on!

TIM: Oh, look, what's this?

I caught a glimpse of this very recognizable pink border on this Sunderland Lustre plaque.

The Sunderland Lustre Pottery was a group of factories in Sunderland who made these sort of things.

And this is a plaque which would have hung on the wall in 1850 Victorian England.

This one has a religious text which says "In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust.

Let me never be confounded."

A verse from Psalms.

And then also, in the middle here, a motto, "Thou God see'st me."

And I do quite like the way the glaze mottles around the edge on there.

It has got a chip, but it's not the worst chip.

And these are very collectable now.

There's avid collectors for Sunderland Lusterware.

Look, it was 38 and it's been reduced to £27.

I can see that in an auction making £50 on a good day.

And it's something I'd like to buy because it's a proper antique.

VO: Amen to that.

The first thing that strikes me about this is the condition.

It's a parian porcelain bust.

And quite often with these you get cracks or damage and repair, but this one is in really nice condition.

Dating to about 1850, and the quality is actually really nice.

It's probably by a factory like Worcester.

A lot of parianware is based on early sculptures or previous sculptures in marble, and this one is after a bust of Professor John Wilson.

And he was a famous writer and philosopher in the 19th century, and the marble bust is in Paisley Museum.

What's the price?

60.

I think that's an absolute bargain, considering the condition and the quality.

I like him.

I think I've found a good thing.

Quite excited about that.

VO: I'm tingling myself.

DEREK: OK, you've found something, then?

Derek, I have found this rather nice parian bust of John Wilson and a Sunderland Lustre plaque.

Yes.

I'm just wondering what you can do on... 87...

I can do 65.

65, it's a deal.

Thank you very much.

OK. 65.

60... VO: 27 for the plaque and 38 for the bust.

And he's back in the driving seat.

How's Harold the Horrible going on?

His third keeps popping out, but apart from that, he's quite a smooth drive, I think.

Are you still not happy with it?

Well, I think we're getting used to one another.

We've had a courtship.

There's been an engagement.

I'm not convinced there's ever gonna be a marriage.

VO: Let the dalliance continue... after some shuteye.

VO: Good morning!

We've awakened hundreds of miles south in the Elysian fields of Worcestershire... where they're off to Littleton Auctions near Eavesham with high hopes.

TIM: I think we'll do well today.

Yeah, well, fingers crossed, my friend.

Fingers crossed.

VO: And best feet forward.

It's looking good.

The cost of Phil's five lots weighed in at £165.

TIM: If you were gonna sum Phil up in a mixed lot of antiques, this would be it.

Look at this - a heavy lump and a bit of rust.

VO: He speaks very highly of you!

Our charming man's five lots, meanwhile, set him back £190.

PHIL: This is really, really lovely.

And the great thing about it is that it appears to be in top order.

90% of these have got holes in them.

I think Tim's done really well.

And the great thing about today's world is that we don't sell antiques any more.

We sell a look.

VO: Auctioneer Martin Homer is looking good today.

What would he take a punt on?

The fishing creel, I really like.

A lot of interest in it.

I like the heavy priest, and there's a very nice Victorian book with flies in it that should do well.

The knife in the scabbard is quite an intricately carved piece and there are a lot of collectors of those kind of knives, so I think they'll do particularly well.

VO: Good stuff.

Right, gents, auction stations and let the battle commence.

TIM: It's so exciting.

PHIL: Yeah.

VO: Will Phil put on a few pounds with those fine dairy scales?

What shall we say with the weight?

Shall we say £30 to start?

30, I've got.

Thank you.

At £30.

TIM: Online.

That's £10 down the toilet, Timothy.

Oh no!

At £30.

35 in the room now.

Thank you.

40 now.

At £40.

Are we done, then?

Selling at £40... Sold at 40.

VO: That will cost him in commission charges.

I'm very happy with that, let me tell you.

Oh, good!

Yeah, that's fine.

Haven't quite got the hang of this competition yet, have I?

VO: Let's see if the young one can show you how it's done again.

His fireguard is up next.

£20 anywhere?

20, I'm bid.

Thank you.

At 20.

You're out of jail there, mate.

I thought I was taking that one home.

Come on.

At £20.

Looking for 22.

At £20.

Are we done at only £20?

Fair warning at £20... Sold at 20.

VO: Hey, no lesson there, then.

£15 up in smoke.

See, you're pleased now.

Yeah, I am!

Well, you and I do get on really well, right?

And yet there's this little bit of kind of, kind of... "Oh, he's made a loss!"

VO: Oh, behave!

Maybe Phil's Scottish fishing tackle collection will reel in a decent catch.

50, straight in at £50.

PHIL: That's a profit.

TIM: Yeah.

At £50.

55, I've got now on the second platform.

And 60.

65 now.

At £65, looking for 70.

Yeah.

At £70.

Is it five?

Come on, you can get to 100, I reckon.

Be nice, wouldn't it?

Looking for 80 now.

At £80.

We're at 80.

I'm now asking 90.

He's trying to reel them in.

Are we finished at £80?

90, we go.

I don't know why I'm celebrating for you.

At 100, I've got.

I still think I'm gonna be playing catch up.

£100.

At £100, are we finished?

At £100, going once.

Going twice... Sold at 100.

VO: Well landed, Mr Serrell!

TIM: Well done.

PHIL: Profit.

TIM: Good lot.

PHIL: Yeah, yeah.

Well done.

I think my...my catching up might be short-lived.

Yeah.

Very short lived.

VO: Tim's Victorian scrap screen does look promising.

I have a little bit of commission interest on this one, ladies and gentlemen, and I will start you at £80.

It's with me at 80 on my book.

At £80.

Lovely screen, this one.

I'm looking for £90.

90, I've got.

Comes back to me at £100.

Come on!

It's with me at 100.

Keep going, come on.

At £100.

110, 120.

130, 140.

At £140, all done at 140?

Sold at 140.

VO: That's more like it!

Excellent.

We're doing well today, I think.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

VO: Don't get too cocky, though.

Under the hammer next, it's Phil's granite post and enamel sign.

30, I'm bid.

Thank you.

At £30.

At £30, looking for five now.

35.

At 35.

40, I've got.

And 45 in the room now.

You've got a room bidder.

Yeah, that helps, doesn't it?

You might be able to help carry it to his car.

Go on, have another, guv'nor.

At 50.

Live at 50.

Is it 55 anywhere?

At £50.

All done?

Fair warning.

55.

New bidder.

Back in the room at 55.

£60.

Go on.

65, I've got.

That helps, doesn't it?

At 65.

The room has it at £65.

You're in profit, that's good.

At £70 now.

At £70.

All done?

£70.

VO: The heavy lump and the piece of rust just romped home.

He's out there, absolutely thrashing me pants.

VO: It's true, but will Tim's carved knife cut the mustard?

Bit of interest on this one, ladies and gentlemen.

I can come straight in, at £50.

Ouch.

Well, I'm happy.

Ooh!

Internet.

At £60.

The bid's with me on the book.

At £60.

Yes, come on.

Back to me at 70.

At £70.

Still with me on my book.

At £70, 75, 80.

PHIL: Ouch.

TIM: Come on.

At 80.

Still with me on commission.

At £80.

90.

Back to me at 100.

You've got two bidders as well.

Keep it going.

So the internet's winning at £110.

Is it 120 anywhere?

At £110.

All done?

Fair warning.

At 110... Well done you, matey.

VO: Yep.

He's cutting quite a dash.

I'm not gonna do a happy dance.

I'm gonna go and start the car, I think.

VO: Taxi for Serrell?

Pick up thy mincer and go.

No, wait, it's up now.

At 30, looking for 35.

35.

Look!

I knew this would do well.

I knew it.

At £35.

I'm at £35.

TIM: Come on!

MARTIN: Are we all done?

I'm intrigued to know what he's gonna do with it.

Sold, 35.

VO: Well, it's not a loss.

Well, it's a fiver profit which after commission is actually...

It's a couple of pounds.

It's a couple of pence.

VO: Will the sun continue to shine on the righteous?

It's the turn of Tim's Sunderland Lustre plaque.

15, I'm bid.

Thank you, sir.

It's there at 15.

£20 in the room.

22 now.

25.

In the room at 25.

It's slowly getting there.

The room at 20, 28 on the internet.

Is that a pound profit?

£30.

The room has it at 30.

Come on!

Keep going.

35 now.

At 35.

40?

£40.

Room at 40.

On the internet at 45.

50, sir?

No?

Thank you anyway.

We're at 45 on the internet.

Fair warning, then.

£45.

VO: A godly - whoops - goodly return for Tim.

So I think the words you're looking for are "yet another decent profit".

I mean, I'm not bitter.

I don't want you to think I'm bitter in any way.

It's a true classic antique.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I'm absolutely over the moon for you.

Thank you.

Thanks, Phil.

VO: Phil's last chance for a comeback now with his Ashbourne paperweight.

30 for it?

Let's go 20 for it, then?

Oh, Internet's in.

You've doubled up already.

MARTIN: Looking for five.

35 now.

New bidder in the room now.

At 40.

45 on the internet.

At 45.

50 in the room now.

The room has it at 50.

55 now.

On the internet at £55.

All done?

Fair warning then at £55.

Sold at 55.

VO: A fine last profit for Phil.

Of all the things I bought, this bit of Ashbourne marble, it's the one thing I'd love to own.

I really, really liked it, and it's nice when that happens, isn't it?

TIM: Mm, definitely.

VO: It is.

And last up is Tim's parian bust of John Wilson.

Will it continue his winning streak?

Bid me on this.

I've got a bit of interest on the book.

PHIL: Oh no.

But I will start you at £30.

We've got a little way to go.

At 35.

At £35.

40 now.

Yes, it's taking off.

At £45.

And 50.

55.

60.

£65.

At 65.

70.

75.

At £75 and 80 now.

At £80.

At 90.

£100 now.

PHIL: (SIGHS) TIM: Come on, keep going!

Fight over it, come on.

Have a fight.

£110.

120, still going.

Any interest in the room?

No, none at all.

I am amazed.

I am amazed.

On the internet at £120.

All done?

Fair warning... 130.

TIM: Yes!

PHIL: (GROANS) Just gets better, doesn't it?

VO: It does.

Come on.

Someone's got a twitchy finger.

£130... Been lovely to see you.

I'm off now.

Phil, don't be like that.

Come on.

PHIL: I'm just done.

TIM: Oh.

VO: The profitable professor disapproves of 21st century stroppiness.

He's gone.

I'd better go and, um...sort this out.

VO: Let him sulk, eh?

Phil made a profit on four out of five lots, and after saleroom fees, his piggy is filled with £347.50.

But there was no catching Tim today, and all those profits have swelled his piggy to a massive £549.60.

He has surely earned his laurels as his companion must concede.

Well, Timothy, played two, won two.

Yeah.

My, my, that was quite an auction, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was.

The thing that's worrying me a little bit that there's three more to go.

I don't want to be 5-0 at the end of it.

You'll be fine.

Let's go buy some old stuff.

I'm here with you.

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