VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts, with £200 each, a classic car, and a goal: to scour Britain for antiques.

Going, going, gone.

Yes!

Hello!

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

Yes!

VO: There'll be worthy winners and valiant losers.

I'm gonna try and win.

VO: So, will it be the high road to glory, or the slow road to disaster?

Sun shines on the brave, doesn't it?

Exactly.

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip.

VO: Yeah!

VO: It's the fourth leg of our West Country experience, tripping in a vintage Lancia with Tom Scott and Phil Serrell.

PHIL: Have you enjoyed it?

TOM: Oh, what a brilliant trip it's been.

PHIL: It's been really good fun.

PHIL: You've been good company!

TOM: It's been great.

PHIL: I have to say, my affection for your company has waned over the course of the last auction.

VO: Oh dear.

Dealer Tom is a Road Trip greenhorn who was very much the runner-up until a magnificent French frame put him right back in the picture.

At £290.

I tell you, this has got to be one of the best auction houses I've ever been to.

VO: Phil, an auctioneer and a seasoned roadrunner, has been here before.

This is Philip Serrell for the Antiques Road Trip.

VO: He's certainly not bitter though.

Not much.

PHIL: On the strength of that, they've changed the title of the program: PHIL: They're going to call it "You've Been Framed".

VO: Phil began with £200 and he's increased that to £292.42.

VO: Tom also set out with £200 and he's so far amassed just a little bit more, with £303.06.

TOM: So, Phil, I've got one auction, you've got two.

PHIL: Yeah.

TOM: There's two left.

PHIL: No, that's the end of it, PHIL: I've declared that the end of the competition.

VO: Our trip begins at the far southwest corner of Britain at St Buryan before wending its way around several counties and never straying too far from the coast to reach Wareham in Dorset.

Today we're starting out at Exeter in the county of Devon and making for an auction over the border at Upwey in Dorset.

PHIL: Why can't I see the seaside Tom?

PHIL: Slow down, I want to see the sea.

TOM: Well we're quite a long way inland here.

PHIL: Are we?

VO: Actually, ex-geography teacher Phil has got a point, because Exeter does have a link to the ocean.

There's been a quay here since Roman times, but in the 16th century one of Britain's earliest canals was constructed to carry goods to the river and the English Channel.

PHIL: I love Exeter, down here, down by the river, which presumably must be the River Exe.

TOM: Yeah.

Or Ter.

VO: Nowadays this nicely redeveloped area is more about leisure though.

TOM: Here we go then, mate.

VO: And shopping.

PHIL: Funkles!

TOM: Right, let's see what we can find, mate.

PHIL: Who's going in first?

Thee or me?

TOM: You go first, since you're technically the loser.

Come on.

PHIL: No need for that already!

TOM: Morning.

PHIL: Hello, hello, hello.

TOM: We alright to just have a bit of a dig and then we'll give you a shout?

Brilliant.

PHIL: Thank you very much.

PHIL: (WHISPERS) How much is the till?

VO: While Phil makes a bid for the till, Tom has the rest of Funkles to choose from.

There's plenty of it too.

VO: It's just a question of seeking out the quality.

I don't know where to look.

Tricky.

VO: Phil's moved on, but because the dealer's not around, all communication has to be via Carmen and the phone and when they do get to talk... Hiya Simon?

How are ya, Simon?

VO: They're still a long way apart.

Yeah.

Your maritime bucket.

SIMON: (ON PHONE) 40, I'd do that for.

PHIL: OK, and that's the best you can do on that one?

SIMON: It is really.

Alright, OK, let me have a think and I'll have a wander round for you.

VO: Ahh, a humidor.

This could appeal to the Havana cigar devotees of Dorset.

VO: Are there any?

Ask if there's any movement on this humidor at 70 quid.

OK. Simon, he wants to know if there's any movement on the humidor.

SIMON: OK, tell him I'll go 55 and that's me losing money if I go any lower.

CARMEN: OK, yeah.

I'll let him know that.

CARMEN: He said 55 is as low as he'll go.

PHIL: OK.

I think I need to try and buy it at 40, so I think I'm going to have to leave it.

VO: Oh dear, sounds like Phil's getting a bit frustrated.

What's Tom unearthed?

TOM: They're quite fun, aren't they?

This would have been a bit of artillery, isn't it?

It's a shell.

Pretty big old thing.

TOM: And then someone's stuck those on the sides.

They could be quite good.

If we can get them cheap.

VO: Now, let's hope Phil's found something.

PHIL: I wanted to look at that woodwind instrument thing.

CARMEN: Oh, OK. Can't get into it.

PHIL: We can't get into it.

CARMEN: Can't get into it, haven't got the right key.

VO: Oh lordy.

CARMEN: No.

VO: This just isn't his day so far.

But while the search goes on, Tom's about to smuggle his jugs over to Carmen.

PHIL: I'll just have a final quick...

I'm not pinching them.

VO: Ha.

Right, let's go.

VO: Sneaky.

I think we've got to be quick, cuz Philip's just around the corner.

I've got Simon on the line.

Is he on the line?

SIMON: (ON PHONE) Yeah, do them for 20 quid the pair.

CARMEN: He could do 20 quid the pair.

TOM: How about 15?

CARMEN: I'll hand him over to you.

Simon, I just wondered whether you might be able to help me and just nip me down to £15 for the pair?

SIMON: Yeah, you take them, mate.

TOM: Lovely, appreciate that.

Deal, £15.

Good.

VO: One deal to Tom, but Phil's kept his powder dry.

PHIL: I tell you what, I'm going to go and see what else I can find.

You really need to get that off your chest mate.

VO: So while Tom conceals his booty and departs, Phil's staying in Exeter, still searching for that elusive first bargain.

Hello!

NORMAN: Hello, good morning Phil.

PHIL: How are you, alright?

I'm very well indeed, nice to see you.

Yeah, you too.

VO: There must be something at this antique center for Phil.

The best place to start is with Norman himself.

NORMAN: This is my stall.

PHIL: Can I look at those please?

NORMAN: Of course you may.

VO: Ah, Royal Worcester.

Phil's day has suddenly perked up a bit.

VO: As a Worcester man, he's got a soft spot for the stuff.

PHIL: My office is 40 yards away from where they were made probably, and they were modelled by Hadley.

VO: Potter and artist James Hadley has been described as probably the finest English modeler of all time.

VO: His work can be very valuable, but only if it's in pristine condition.

Unfortunately, the front is damaged.

It's been restored.

NORMAN: Crudely, may I say.

The other one's perfect.

PHIL: If you see people going...

They're not trying to eat pots, what they're trying to do is just check for restoration.

And if you bite a piece of restored porcelain, it's just like biting into soap, whereas if you bite a piece of unrestored porcelain, it's actually really quite hard.

I'll have a think about that.

Let's just see what else we can find first.

VO: I think we'll be seeing more of those two.

PHIL: There's some really interesting things in this place, really interesting things.

It's an ear trumpet.

Hello!

PHIL: I like that.

PHIL: It's just a glazed stoneware water bottle, isn't it?

NORMAN: Indeed it is.

This is in really good condition.

PHIL: Salt glazed, isn't it?

NORMAN: Salt glaze, yes.

Yeah, we got a bit of damage to the tap but... NORMAN: Well, we've got 45 on there, so... PHIL: Let's just have a chat.

Can I give you that to take back to the counter?

NORMAN: Yeah, OK.

Possibility, eh?

PHIL: Yeah, yeah.

VO: Whatever the barrel's merits, the fact that the Worcester figures actually belong to Norman might just swing it.

Ticket price £150 the pair.

PHIL: What's the best on that you can do?

NORMAN: What are you aiming at?

PHIL: I was going to try and buy it for 15, 20 quid, that's what I've got to try to do.

No, I can't do it, that's not mine.

No.

I think I'm going to stick at these here, that's what I think.

NORMAN: So what are you thinking Phil?

NORMAN: You're thinking there, you're concentrating, you're looking, you're picking out little bits.

Tell me what you honestly think.

I like him, I like him.

PHIL: I think that one - I won't say it's worthless.

If I buy just one off you - You've gotta buy two.

I've gotta buy the pair off you.

NORMAN: Yeah.

PHIL: I've gotta try and buy them for around the 60 quid mark.

I can't come down to that kind of figure.

PHIL: OK. Can I give you 70 quid for the two?

NORMAN: Can you make it 80?

That's a big reduction.

It's a massive reduction.

It's a massive reduction.

PHIL: Can you ease me another fiver into it?

NORMAN: I can't.

I can't, honest.

PHIL: Alright, OK. Yeah, I'll have those off you.

You're a gentleman and a scholar, let me get you some money out.

That's alright, you're welcome.

PHIL: I'm pleased with those, you've helped me.

NORMANL I have indeed.

It's a giveaway.

It's your lucky day.

PHIL: I hope so!

VO: Phil's first buy for £80 - that's a relief.

He's a changed man all of a sudden.

VO: But now it's time to leave Exeter, heading east towards Clyst Honiton.

Then follow the signs.

You must be Jon.

JON: I am.

PHIL: How are you, alright?

JON: Yeah, not too bad, PHIL: How you doing, alright?

PHIL: Good to see you.

JON: And you.

PHIL: So is that full of stuff?

JON: That's full of stuff.

PHIL: That's full of antiques?

JON: Yep.

PHIL: That's a barn, that is.

VO: Well, if you're going to stock a huge range of quality furniture and decorative items then a building like this makes perfect sense.

PHIL: He was going at a hell of a lick when he hit that corrugated iron, wasn't he?

VO: But whether any of it will be within Phil's price range seems highly unlikely.

That's a fair old thing, isn't it?

JON: The two of them are £12,000.

JON: The one behind is bigger.

So they wouldn't come at 50 quid then, would they?

No, no.

VO: Some of Jon's stock is a little more affordable.

The asking price of that Edwardian card table for example is a mere £895, but even if Phil could afford it, it might not play well at the auction.

VO: Now, what's he got there?

These are wicked.

If you've got a cabinet and you want to fill it full of books, that what you buy to put in there.

And are they books?

No.

That's what they are.

PHIL: Jon?

JON: Hi!

Are these book front things in here for sale?

JON: They could be for sale, I guess.

PHIL: How much are they?

JON: Absolutely no idea.

What have you got?

PHIL: Oh, this is getting better by the minute.

I don't want all of them.

JON: The bigger ones I'd charge you £15 for and £10 for the smaller ones.

PHIL: You can't do two of them for 15 quid?

I would be replacing them anyway and it would cost me more than I'm selling them for.

PHIL: No, I tell you what I'm going to do, I've made my mind up, I'm gonna have that one.

VO: Ah, Voltaire - very Phil Serrell.

Apparently when the priest asked him to renounce Satan, his last words were "now is not the time for making new enemies".

You've been really kind and I think you've got a fantastic shop.

Thank you very much.

Really.

Thank you ever so much.

JON: That's great.

Thank you.

PHIL: You're a gentleman.

VO: There can't be very many people who leave here just £10 lighter in the wallet.

VO: Tom meanwhile is motoring south making his way beside the River Exe to Lympstone, Exmouth, where he'll visit a strange and wonderful house in the company of guide Kate.

Hello.

KATE: Hello there.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Tom.

Welcome to A La Ronde.

VO: It's actually not round.

16 sided in fact, which makes it a hexadecagon.

VO: Makes for some interestingly shaped rooms too, several with great views of the estuary below.

VO: A La Ronde wasn't created by any grand designer though, but by two very well travelled spinster cousins.

Beautiful room.

KATE: It is.

TOM: Who had the house built?

Jane and Mary Parminter.

KATE: They went on this grand tour in about the late 1780s and they really were very gutsy ladies.

Yeah.

For spinsters to go off on their own on the continent and particularly as the French Revolution was occurring at the time... TOM: Absolutely, of course, was quite a coup.

...was absolutely amazing.

Yeah, yeah.

VO: The experience certainly had quite an effect.

KATE: They got a lot of ideas when they were on their 10 year travels from Italy.

They wanted a round house when they came back to Britain.

VO: The Parminters based their designs on Italian architecture and once they'd built A La Ronde, they set about creating a highly individual decorating scheme filled with many unusual mementos of their travels together.

The frieze is all made up from bird feathers.

The speckledy ones, that's guineafowl, and you can see... TOM: Oh here, yes, I see.

Yeah, you can see peacock and the green is woodpecker.

KATE: But in the glue they used quite a bit of cognac.

TOM: Ooh, that sounds good.

Well, yes.

But actually it was the cognac that's kept the colorings of the feathers.

TOM: Really?

So that's how it preserves it.

KATE: Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, precisely.

VO: Feathers and brandy were certainly different, but without doubt Jane and Mary's favorite material was the seashell - thousands of them: tiny ones to create pictures for the walls and other, larger ones for a variety of uses.

KATE: The fireplace has never ever been used because... TOM: They used it as another creative display, yeah.

KATE: ...they were making their creations, yes.

These particular ones here on the wall, they did bring them back from their tour.

VO: The home of the Parminters is now owned by the National Trust and sadly only this portrait of Mary now survives.

VO: Their journals, stored away in a bank vault for safekeeping, were also lost during the Blitz in Exeter.

Were they alive today, the extraordinary cousins would probably be competing for the Turner Prize, as at the top of the house is their piece de resistance - the Shell Gallery.

KATE: They wanted you to get the impression that you were either coming into a cave or a grotto.

You've got all this algae on the walls... Oh I see, yeah, yeah.

...and then you've got the softness of the sea.

TOM: Oh in silk.

KATE: And then you've got the shells on the shore.

TOM: Way up here - ah, I see it, I like it, I like it.

KATE: Way up there, yeah.

VO: Because it's so very fragile, access is now restricted.

Tom however has been permitted a special peek.

I'm going to surprise you now.

OK. OK.

There you go.

Oh yes, look at that!

Super.

TOM: Amazing.

KATE: Isn't it?

TOM: So we're seeing the beginning of the actual gallery.

KATE: Yes.

TOM: That's incredible, isn't it?

It's got to be tens of thousands of shells and it's really stunning.

VO: But while Tom's been A La Ronde, Phil's just carried on shopping journeying from Clyst Honiton to Hele where, on the site of an old cider factory...

This is fantastic.

I am so looking forward to this.

VO: ...there's a very unusual retail opportunity.

DEALER: Hiya.

Philip, how are you?

You've got some cool stuff here, haven't you?

Thanks very much.

VO: Yeah, quite something.

They even supply film and TV props out of all of this - 45,000 square feet of antiques reclamation... Just passing through.

VO: ...and collectibles.

PHIL: And how much is the drum?

DEALER: 40 quid.

There's two more up there.

PHIL: How much is that bigger one?

DEALER: 50 quid.

I tell you what, that's gonna take some putting back together, innit?

Yeah.

I didn't realize it was so badly damaged.

So the price is coming down?

Yeah.

I'd do it for 40 quid, the same as the other.

VO: Are you sure Phil?

It's a question of how the hell it's ever gonna fit back together again.

PHIL: I think I'll worry about that later.

DEALER: It's a bit of a mess.

VO: Yeah, you could say that.

PHIL: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

VO: There just has to be a vaulting horse here.

I bought one of those in the last Road Trip and I paid £70 for it and it went into auction and it made 30 quid.

PHIL: I've got to buy that off you.

I now know what they're worth - 30 quid.

DEALER: Shall we move on?

VO: Come on Phil, decision time.

I like the drum, but it's falling apart.

And I like the vaulting horse, because I'm convinced they're worth more than 30 quid.

DEALER: I can do it for cost price, that vaulting horse, which is 100 quid.

Can't do anything like that.

And the drum, I said 40, didn't I?

Yeah, but it's wrecked, isn't it?

PHIL: I'll give you 20 quid and then I'll spend most of the night trying to put it back together again.

DEALER: Go on then.

PHIL: Alright?

Yeah, there is a lot of work.

Drum's done.

Drum's done.

PHIL: But I want to buy something else.

DEALER: I want you to buy something else.

I want to buy something else.

VO: Now I don't know about you but I think he's going to buy something else.

How much is this roller then?

VO: Ah, that sort of roller - good on a farm or for flattening a wicket.

DEALER: I'll do that for 80 quid for you.

I know you've been helpful to me, but I'm going to bid you nonetheless and notwithstanding.

DEALER: Go on then.

PHIL: 50 quid.

Don't be ridiculous.

What?

It did cost me more than that.

Don't you speak to me like that!

PHIL: But I'm trying to get rid of old stock here.

75 quid.

PHIL: I tell you what, this is me best shot here, right?

VO: Oh yeah.

There you are.

60 quid.

Well seeing as you've said so many nice things about the place.

You're a gentleman.

Do you know what?

I really like that.

God knows what that's going to make.

DEALER: You'll do alright on that.

I promise.

So how old - you think that's what, 1860?

Me mum made it last week.

Did she?

Mmm.

VO: Lordy - mine was more of a knitter.

Well, after a slow start, Phil has certainly picked up speed today - a very different approach from his rival.

PHIL: How much money have you spent?

TOM: 15 whole pounds.

PHIL: What, 15 quid?

TOM: On one thing.

It's good, innit?

PHIL: One thing?

VO: Night night.

VO: Next morning finds our travelers on the other side of the border.

PHIL: Dorchester was the capital of Wessex, wasn't it?

PHIL: Was it?

Is this Wessex?

TOM: No, it's Dorset.

PHIL: I know that, but it's the old area of Wessex, isn't it?

PHIL: I think.

VO: Geographer Phil was yesterday's big spender, splashing out £170 on some false books, a drum, a huge garden roller and some Worcester figurines... NORMAN: It's a giveaway.

It's your lucky day.

VO: ...leaving him with £122.42 to spend today, while Tom was the super saver, parting with a mere £15 for two artillery shell jugs... SIMON: Yeah, you take them, mate.

Lovely.

Appreciate that.

VO: ..making him cash rich with almost £288.06 at his disposal.

VO: Later they'll be making for the auction in Upwey, but our first stop is in the Dorset county town of Dorchester.

PHIL: It's got a nice feel to it, this place, I think.

TOM: Everywhere feels nice in the sun.

PHIL: Everywhere feels nice when you're ahead.

VO: Now Phil.

Dorchester is famous for its poets, like Sir John Cowper Powys and William Barnes, but the town's favorite son is without doubt Thomas Hardy.

PHIL: Did Thomas Hardy write "Tom Brown's Schooldays"?

PHIL: No, I mean, he wrote whatsit, didn't he?

"Tom Jones".

VO: Actually he mostly wrote books without "Tom" in the title Phil, but he did base "The Mayor of Casterbridge" on his home town.

PHIL: Now listen, you know what you've got to do, don't you?

I'm going to spend, spend and spend mate.

65 quid mirrors, Tom.

Mirrors, mirrors, mirrors.

Go buy some mirrors.

I've got you, see you later.

VO: Now of course the key plotline in "The Mayor of Casterbridge" is the decision by the central character to auction off his own family, but I'm sure the antique shops of the real Dorchester steer very clear of such controversies.

JOHN: Morning.

You alright?

JOHN: Alright thank you, yeah.

John.

I bought a table off you a couple of years back on a trip, didn't I?

Made a fortune?

Oh no, I wish I had have done.

VO: Just let the table go Phil.

Start afresh.

He doesn't need to buy much at De Danann either, so he can very much pick and choose.

PHIL: I think that's a Tunbridge ware sock darner.

JOHN: Yes, pretty isn't it?

PHIL: Yeah, just a nice little thing.

Is there a price on that?

JOHN: Yeah, it's a fiver.

See that could be a problem because I'm used to getting, like, 20 or 30 quid off something, so if it's only a fiver how am I going to get 20 quid off that?

I thought it might make up for the table.

PHIL: Can I ask you to put that by for me?

JOHN: Yeah, yeah, no problem.

VO: Well, it's no vaulting horse Phil but it could be a very sensible buy.

That too, at a pinch.

PHIL: It's a 19th century snuffbox.

Very often these would have had decorated scenes on the front.

Now that, because there's no decoration and a little bit of damage there, it's not going to be a hugely sought after thing, but I think that's quite a nice little lot.

VO: The ticket price is £30, but I'm sure John would be willing to do a deal.

I like that.

It's just a marble column.

It's just a thing that's going to look decorative, either to show off a good parian bust or a piece of marble or a pot or a bronze.

Let's put that down there.

VO: Hmm - two nice little treen items versus a big old lump.

What do you think?

PHIL: Can I move it out?

VO: It could be described as a jardiniere, or even a torchiere, and the ticket price is £175.

I think the death of it's like about 100 quid.

No, that wouldn't be any good for me.

JOHN: Wouldn't make any money, would it?

PHIL: No.

PHIL: See, there's a chunk off there, look.

PHIL: I think that's just come down another fiver.

JOHN: Still a nice thing.

PHIL: It's a lovely thing, but it's broken.

PHIL: 65 quid.

And I'll shake your hand now.

Yeah, go on then.

You're a gentleman, thank you very much indeed.

VO: That plus his roller must amount to some of Phil's heaviest purchases yet.

Well done.

Time, ladies and gentlemen, time, last orders.

VO: I think that means he's finished shopping.

VO: Elsewhere in Dorchester, at the Curiosity Center - sounds a bit more like Dickens than Hardy.

Morning - hi, I'm Tom.

Hi - Martin, nice to meet you.

I've come for a bit of a rummage around.

A bit of a look around, lots to see here.

VO: Yeah, it's definitely a bit Dickensian, I'd say.

The Curiosity Center will require plenty of digging though.

There's a lot of vintage, there's a lot of painted, sort of shabby chic, which I'm not after, so we'll just try and narrow it down a little bit.

I could make Philip a nice new scarf.

VO: Careful, he's very fussy about those Tom.

Didgeridoo.

VO: No, didgeridon't.

TOM: How about a strongbox?

VO: Might it be treasure?

VO: It's heavy enough.

TOM: That's a good bit... weight in there.

TOM: I can't even lift the door.

VO: If you spend long enough in Phil's company do you all end up buying like him I wonder?

TOM: What's he got on here?

£85.

I really like that.

VO: Well, I'm sure Phil would approve.

But now what's he come up with?

Have you seen this?

VO: Oh Lordy.

That is a canoe.

That's got to be bigger than Philip's, surely?

VO: You mean the one that lost him £70 on a previous Road Trip?

I like that a lot.

Fantastic.

VO: Just what is it about canoes, chaps?

Pretty sure that says £300.

I wonder if I can afford that.

VO: No.

The trouble is this is probably going to see me down the creek the wrong way, isn't it?

VO: Yes, and I don't see a paddle, do you?

Time to consult Martin, or perhaps just seek help.

TOM: First thing, I'd like to have a look at this.

MARTIN: Ah, you found my strongbox.

TOM: Yeah.

TOM: Does it open?

I can't get open.

Let's try.

But it might be me.

I've already had it open.

Ah, there you go.

TOM: Aw, I was hoping the takings from last week... MARTIN: It's had some use.

TOM: Yeah, what's someone been putting in there, apart from snails?

What would we look at that?

We could do something on that for you, maybe... 75.

It's a bit steeper than I was hoping.

Come on then, you know the game.

TOM: What I was going to do was make you a bid of 45.

45?

Which I know is really harsh.

You're welcome to drop this on my foot if you want.

It's a bit tight, Tom but I'll tell you what, squeeze me another fiver and it's yours.

TOM: Yeah?

50?

MARTIN: Yeah.

TOM: Perfect.

Alright?

I love that, brilliant, thank you very much.

Deal.

VO: Now for the flagship.

TOM: What I'm hoping is that you're going to talk me right out of it.

MARTIN: Why would I do that?

Because you want me to win, surely?

Hey.

It's a highly unusual thing.

You wouldn't find many of these in the auction houses.

No.

There's probably a good reason for that.

TOM: Now it is wildly out of my budget.

MARTIN: Right.

And I'm just thinking about how awkward this must be for you every night dragging it back in.

I know where this is leading.

I'm looking at being really, really cheeky and talking like 60 quid.

MARTIN: 60 quid's a little cheap.

TOM: I know it is.

MARTIN: A little cheap.

TOM: Do you want another fiver like on the strongbox, is that what you mean?

Well, I think compare the size of the strongbox to the size of the boat and maybe that increment would be about right.

What about 120, includes the box?

What about 130?

125?

Go for it.

TOM: Deal.

Brilliant.

MARTIN: Well done.

Thanks Martin.

VO: So £75 for the canoe and £50 for the strongbox - does Upwey know what's coming?

VO: Meanwhile, the silver fox, blissfully unaware that a canoe has changed hands, is on the road, and he's finally heading for the sea - without a scarf - motoring from Dorchester down to Chesil Beach and Abbotsbury to visit a unique and very ancient bird sanctuary.

Hello?

Oh hi.

DAVE: Hello Phil.

PHIL: How are you?

Nice to meet you.

Goodness me, you must be Dave.

Welcome to Abbotsbury Swannery.

This looks very official, doesn't it?

Oh yes, oh yes.

So what's your official title then?

I'm the swanherd here at Abbotsbury.

Swanherd?

Do I have stand to attention?

Well no.

VO: Dave is the latest in a long and extremely venerable line of swanherds here.

Benedictine monks first founded the swannery for the meat over 600 years ago, but for most of its history conservation and study has been the aim.

PHIL: So Dave, these two, which just seem to be, I wouldn't say perched, but do they nest anywhere?

Well, they nest where they want to nest.

DAVE: They choose the site and there's not much we can do about that.

DAVE: And once they've got a site normally it's the same site year after year after year.

They're are not duck and drake, clearly, but what are they called?

They're cob and pen.

Cob is the male.

PHIL: And they give birth to a cygnet?

DAVE: Yes.

PHIL: And how do you tell them apart?

Well the male is usually heavier, there is normally a weight difference.

The blackberry on top of the bill is usually bigger.

DAVE: The male will have a richer color orange on the bill.

PHIL: How many other swanneries are there in Britain?

DAVE: This is the only nesting colony of its kind here and it's the only managed colony in the world.

PHIL: OK, I'm going to put you to a test now.

DAVE: Yes?

PHIL: What's his name?

DAVE: Um... You've got me.

You should've said Harry, no one would ever have known!

VO: Because it's located on the Fleet Lagoon and sheltered from the open sea by Chesil Beach beyond, the birds can flourish here in the shallow, salty water and return year after year.

When swans were eaten, their feathers were a useful byproduct and at Abbotsbury they like to maintain some traditions.

DAVE: Well we collect them throughout the summer whilst the birds are molting here and there's a lot of people that have very specific uses for those feathers.

VO: Lloyds of London still use Abbotsbury quills to record shipping accidents and they also adorn ceremonial helmets.

The Gentlemen at Arms, the Queen's bodyguard, have them made into plumes for the helmets.

This is called a full?

A full.

And these - that's fantastic, they're all just beautifully bound, aren't they?

Yes.

VO: Although there is usually plenty of weed or grass to eat at Abbotsbury, around 600 swans will always welcome a feed.

Come on!

Is there any danger that you might overfeed them?

DAVE: It's never been a problem.

PHIL: I've had that problem.

Really?

VO: Now you know how everyone warns you that a swan can break your arm?

Highly unlikely apparently.

While we're at it, they do mostly mate for life, but the odd one can wander.

PHIL: The ones that are paler, they're the younger ones?

DAVE: They are, last year's cygnets.

PHIL: So the ones with the grey back, that's 12 months old?

DAVE: But they'll molt for the first time this July.

DAVE: The last grey feathers will be lost in that molt so by August they'll be snow white.

DAVE: Their beaks will remain grey for another year.

PHIL: They make a great noise, isn't it?

PHIL: Just listening to them.

It's like all you can hear is...

It's lovely.

On the water, it's fantastic.

VO: But while Phil's been communing with swans, Tom's still in Dorchester, heading for the same shop that his travelling companion graced earlier.

Afternoon.

How you doing?

Yeah, alright, thank you.

I'm Tom.

Yeah, I'm John.

John, nice to meet you.

Pleased to meet you.

Do you mind if I have a bit of a rummage?

No, you have a look round, yeah, by all means.

TOM: Where we going?

Down here?

Round there?

Down here and up the stairs as well.

TOM: Brilliant.

VO: Now Tom's still got plenty of cash and there's certainly enough to choose from.

I think this would look good in Philip's house.

VO: Although I think we can rule out at least one item.

The trouble is Philip's been here this morning so he's probably bought everything.

VO: Nonsense.

Ouch!

TOM: How much are those?

£20.

VO: The pair?

Each.

They're quite nice, quite sweet.

Just decorative.

TOM: This cane's in not bad condition - there's a few breaks here.

TOM: This could be ideal, especially with them being a pair.

TOM: Or are they a pair?

They're not quite a pair.

VO: Let's see what John can do on those then.

You've got 40 for the two of them.

Right.

Where can you be?

Can you help me?

20.

TOM: That's very generous.

Can I squeeze you a little more?

18.

Perfect.

OK.

I'd like to take those.

That's brilliant John, thank you very much for that.

VO: Well, that was all very amicable.

TOM: That's what I wanted to find.

VO: Ah - didn't Phil peal that one earlier?

VO: The ticket price on that is £65.

I don't think it's big enough for a ship's bell.

Maybe a small boat, not sure.

VO: Cor, he's getting very nautical today, but then the auction at Upwey is just a few miles from the coast.

TOM: John - your bell.

JOHN: It can be 40 quid.

TOM: Can it?

I think that's going to be too much for me.

JOHN: 35.

If it's any good.

But that is... That's getting better.

Any way you can do 25?

30 quid.

Split the difference.

OK. Alright?

30 quid, deal, that's brilliant.

Done.

VO: Time to compare those purchases.

Our two men are outstanding in their field.

You go first, let's see what you've got.

PHIL: OK, right.

TOM: Let's see.

Got a bit of technology.

TOM: Hello.

VO: Sadly the roller couldn't be with us.

PHIL: It is heavy.

TOM: That looks brilliant.

It's a good bit of fun.

That's a really excellent find.

PHIL: I thought you could turn it t'other way up and just turn into a column.

Yeah, or just leave it lying next to your tennis court, surely.

PHIL: Yeah.

And then - Have you got a bit of Worcester?

Yeah.

Modelled by James Hadley, and they're about 1870, 1875.

That one has been bust.

TOM: Has it?

They are lovely, aren't they?

And then I always like to beat me own drum.

TOM: Yeah, I know, I'm hearing that.

PHIL: That was 20 quid.

TOM: That's alright, it's another coffee table piece.

And then, my last lot... Have you got something tucked away?

It's here.

Now it's just going to stop just where it is, cuz I've nearly ruptured meself moving it once.

TOM: Yeah.

Nice marble jardiniere.

Yeah.

Well that was 65 quid.

Oh, that's a winner.

PHIL: And I thought that - you think so?

Yeah, absolutely.

I don't think there's anything here to worry about, is there?

Well, I hope not.

Let's have a look at yours.

TOM: Come on.

PHIL: I can't wait.

TOM: Right.

VO: Now for another much too heavy lump.

PHIL: I love that.

That's fantastic.

I am so envious of that.

What do you think of that?

PHIL: Manhole cover, I've always wanted one.

That's not that, it's behind it.

Oh right, it's not the manhole cover.

That's straight out of the Serrell handbook, isn't it?

VO: Must be a fascinating read.

PHIL: How much is your bell?

TOM: My bell was £30.

You see, I'm not completely convinced about this, whether it is an 1841.

I think actually that's the time rather than the day.

Do you think?

Yeah.

What on earth have you done here?

Oh I don't know.

I don't know why I bought those.

What have you done there?

TOM: That was, I don't know what I did.

You don't like those, do you?

I think they're absolutely... Let me think of the word - "gopping".

And what do you think of this?

I love that.

My strongbox.

PHIL: I love that.

TOM: Yeah?

Yeah.

TOM: But I've got one more for you.

PHIL: Oh, let's have a look then.

TOM: I did buy some furniture.

Really?

Two.

So it's a set, very nearly a pair of stools.

It's not anywhere near November, is it?

Don't be so rude!

Is it?

So how much did you pay for those?

TOM: £9 each.

PHIL: Oh, well you can't fail, can you?

I think that was a good deal.

You cannot fail.

Do you know, it grieves me to say this... Do you think we've done alright?

No, I think you've done alright, and that really does...

This is going to be a good auction again, isn't it?

Oh yeah, fantastic Absolutely.

Come on.

TOM: Come on, let's go.

VO: But what do they really think?

Not a fan of the drum, I think that's a real clanger.

Do you know, I think the real danger here is that Tom has possibly out-Serrelled Serrell.

He's gone and bought a canoe!

I'm quietly confident.

I think I might have rattled Phil a little bit here.

It's Tom's canoe against my Worcester figures, my column and my roller.

PHIL: Who's going to win?

I hope it's me.

VO: After starting out in Devon at Exeter and heading over into Dorset, this leg of our trip concludes at an auction in Upwey.

PHIL: Do you know where we're going to?

TOM: Upwey.

Could be some way up this way.

PHIL: I think it's down this way.

TOM: Up this way.

Not up that way.

PHIL: Down this way.

TOM: This way.

VO: Ha.

Upwey Station stars as itself in a Thomas Hardy poem and the village also boasts its own wishing well, which could be handy, because there's been a bit of an accident - they're in for a shock.

Standby.

Ah!

Busted!

TOM: Oh dear.

PHIL: That's not so hot, is it?

Happy days!

Yeah.

VO: So a roller which survived two World Wars dating back to the early days of Queen Victoria has been broken.

Because it's insured though, the auctioneer's valuation guarantees a minimum payout when it goes under the hammer - so how does Michael Keeble value it?

The granite roller unfortunately got broken in transit.

MICHAEL: I believe it would have made £120 if not broken in the auction.

VO: Well, that'll help Phil overcome his disappointment no doubt.

He began with £292.42 and he spent £235 on five auction lots.

Hang on, is this yours?

I recognize this.

Mine?

Yours?

Mine?

VO: While Tom started out with £303.06 and he spent £188 also on five auction lots.

VO: Now who was it said the only way is up?

Because whoever it was was wrong.

Phil, what have you got coming up?

It's my Worcester figures.

We're both a long way from home.

VO: Remember the one on the left's been restored, but the other is in very good condition.

I've got three precommissions on this one, I can start them in at 80.

TOM: Hey!

MICHAEL: 90.

100.

110.

120.

130 anywhere?

Philip!

MICHAEL: 130 anywhere?

TOM: Well done mate.

PHIL: That's OK. MICHAEL: No interest?

130.

140 on the book.

150 anywhere?

Look at you.

Selling then.

VO: The dealer did say it was Phil's lucky day though.

Happy days.

Happy days.

That's a relief mate, that is a huge relief.

That is really good.

A nice start.

Yes, absolutely.

What have you got next?

VO: Tom's strongbox.

No attempt to lift it, I see.

Gave it a bit of a clean out, got the dead snails out of it.

Lovely item, and two pre-bids on this, take me in at £65.

Is there 70 anywhere?

Profit.

MICHAEL: £70 anywhere?

No?

It's going then at 65 to the pre-bidder then.

That's just landed on my toe.

VO: Still a profit, Tom.

And I cleaned it.

Should have left it dirty mate.

VO: Now for the canoe.

This may not be plain sailing.

Showing on the side wall there.

Everyone's going to want this at home.

VO: Well no one seems to want it here.

£20 for it then?

VO: This is not looking good.

None of you have got transport, have you?

£2 for it.

Two pounds?!

Two is bid, three, four.

TOM: Come on, come on.

MICHAEL: Five, six, eight, 10, 12?

£10 is bid.

12 anywhere?

MICHAEL: Surely it's worth more than this.

12 at the back.

15?

18.

16?

This is a struggle.

18.

20, 22, 25?

She only lives around the corner, it's easy for her.

25, 26?

£26 in the middle, 28 anywhere?

I'm really struggling.

He's doing well.

He's doing well for me.

£26 and selling then.

Well done madam.

VO: So are we agreed brothers?

No more canoes.

I would buy that every day.

You did.

I probably won't buy another one for quite a long time.

VO: Time for Phil's column.

Jardiniere, anyone?

Here we go.

Got bids on the books.

£22 is bid.

Thanks.

Worth more surely, 22 anywhere?

22, 24, 26, 28?

MICHAEL: £26 in the middle, 28 anywhere?

Is that it?

All done at £26 and selling then?

That's made the same as my boat.

VO: Yes, big and awkward isn't good.

I think that's just an absolute hoot really, don't you?

VO: He's taken that well.

How will his old drum fare?

Clearly the most important factor about the whole thing is that it will fit in the boot of a car.

Nice thing and we can start this one in at £24.

Is there 26 anywhere?

That's a relief, out of jail on that.

Here we go.

MICHAEL: 26 anywhere?

26, 28, 30?

MICHAEL: £30 is with you sir, 32, 35, 38.

40.

Bidding for it in the front row.

MICHAEL: 42.

45, 50.

55.

52?

52.

55?

It's 52 at the back.

55 anywhere?

MICHAEL: Are we all done at 52?

And selling then to 414.

VO: With that tidy profit, Phil's creeping ahead.

Do I sense that there's just a little hint of warped, bitter and twisted creeping in?

What on earth would make you think I'm bitter today?

I can't think.

I genuinely, I think that's great, a great price.

VO: Can Tom's converted shells strike back?

The pair of World War II artillery shells.

I don't want anyone to know they're mine.

Nice things, tenner for them?

£5 for them then, five is bid, six is bid, seven, eight, nine, 10, 12.

£12 with the lady in the middle, £14 anywhere?

Come on, come on, come on.

MICHAEL: There's a pair of them.

£14 anywhere?

Are we all done at 12?

And selling then.

14.

16.

£14 with the lady.

£16 anywhere?

Are we all done at 14 then?

And selling to 184, thank you.

VO: A bigger loss after commission.

To be fair, that's probably where they should have sold at.

What, those?

If those were 14 quid you'd probably get your money back.

No, I think they sold very well.

VO: Now for the roller.

The auctioneer had quite a bit interest, but that was before it was broken.

Could be a different story now though.

How can you break a granite roller?!

Mind you, pairs always sell better than singles, don't they?

Well exactly, that's it, I can see what you did.

What can I say?

We'll give it a go.

£20 for it?

Would have been a lot more if it wasn't broken.

Fiver for it then?

£2 for it?

This isn't gonna sell, is it?

No.

We're gonna have to take this thing with us.

Well who wants a busted roller?

OK, we'll pass that one.

VO: Phil however doubles his money because the insurance pays the auctioneer's valuation of £120.

Surely Tom's Weymouth bell ought to earn a profit?

Perfect pub piece.

But then I said that about my boat.

£20 for it?

10 to go then.

10 at the back.

12 anywhere?

12 there, 15, 18, 20.

TOM: Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on.

22, 25, 28, 30, 32.

Keep going.

MICHAEL: It's £30 at the back.

32 anywhere?

We all done at 30?

And selling then.

264, thank you.

VO: Another loss after commission though - oh dear.

If I had the same opportunity I would go and buy the same rubbish all again for the same money.

Yeah.

That's what really worries me.

VO: Phil's false books.

Shame they're not Thomas Hardy, ha.

£10 for them?

He said they looked really good.

It's £8 with me then on the book, £9 anywhere?

These are expensive, you buy these new, resin molded, they're very expensive.

MICHAEL: 11?

11 for these sir, 12 anywhere?

MICHAEL: Takes me out, £12 anywhere?

We all done at £11?

And selling then.

That is extremely cheap for that.

That's just burnt more money.

VO: It hasn't been a good day for either of them, has it?

VO: Finally those stools that Phil was so rude about.

And I can start these in at £12.

Is there 14 anywhere?

MICHAEL: 14, 16, 18, 20, 22?

TOM: Oh yeah, rapid bidding.

MICHAEL: £20 on the book with the pre-commissions.

MICHAEL: 22, 22 at the front.

24 anywhere?

24 anywhere?

MICHAEL: Are we all done at 22?

And selling then.

VO: Well, at least it wasn't another loss Tom.

I tell you, what a brilliant day we've had today.

Crash and burn, isn't it?

VO: Phil's the winner though thanks to the cash for his broken roller and Tom's ship sinking canoe purchase.

VO: Tom began with £303.06.

After paying auction costs, he made a loss of £59.26, leaving him with £243.80 to spend next time.

Whilst Phil started out with £292.42 and after paying auction costs he made a profit of £51.18, so he has £343.60 and a lead of almost £100.

TOM: Right, how am I going to get out of here?

PHIL: I'm actually quite relaxed now.

TOM: Yeah, alright.

PHIL: Sit back in the sun.

TOM: You just be careful, don't get sunburnt.

PHIL: It's been a lovely old day, hasn't it?

TOM: I'm glad you've had a nice time.

PHIL: Yeah, I've had a super time, I would come here again.

PHIL: Next time we'll break everything.

VO: Next time on the Road Trip: Phil's splashing out.

I'm going to make an instantaneous purchase here.

VO: But Tom's struggling to get into gear.

TOM: I'm just going round and round in circles here.

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