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I'm David Nazar.

Women can deal with a number of health challenges that are often talked about things like cancer, osteoporosis, diabetes, the list goes on.

What's often not talked about as much are some of the mental health challenges and the challenge of rebuilding a life after loss.

Often, women can suffer in silence when dealing with things like divorce or the death of a spouse, or the loss of a job.

There can be overwhelming depression, loneliness, isolation, uncertainty.

So how do some women survive these circumstances?

Well, my next guest seemed to have an answer.

And joining me now is Lisa Woolery.

Lisa spent much of her life in the world of politics in Orange County, California.

And then after fleeing California, tragedy struck.

And Lisa's tragic journey and story of survival all began with a pen and a lot of perseverance.

I should also add faith as well.

Now, Lisa is the author of the brand new book The Widow's Comeback.

Also joining the panel is my former news colleague, Helen Kumari.

Helen was the first female Indian-American news reporter in the history of Los Angeles media.

Helen worked for years at CBS news and NBC in L.A. and then at PBS.

She was one of the most heralded journalists then, like with Lisa.

Tragedy struck, although in a different way.

And Helen also had to find a new way to survive.

Thank you both so much for being here.

Thanks for.

Having us.

Hi.

Lisa, let's begin with you.

Talk about your book, The Widow's Comeback.

Who are you?

Why did you write the book?

What is this all about?

Well, I married my high school sweetheart, Eric Woolery, and we were married for 28 years, and he died suddenly.

Actually, while I was chopping broccoli and making dinner, I found him in his office, and I unsuccessfully gave him CPR.

And when he died, really?

My life ended as well.

Because, you know, when you're married, you work together, to create a life.

And when he left, all of our plans were gone.

And so I put on my big girl pants every day and and re-created my life.

And in doing that, I did a blog post every week talking to my friends and family about how me and my kids were coping, and we ended up, with a book.

I filled in some, But I, I really I loved the widow's comeback because I want to help widows find their comeback.

And what I, what I do is I have a ministry now where I do teachings, and I have a newsletter on how to deal with the different things that come up in the month.

And, I just want to help other widows find their come back as well.

On the personal level for you, Lisa, what was the toughest part about all of this?

And I also read some of your book that you had shared with me.

Eric was in the best health possible.

I mean, this was crazy.

Well, Eric had just had a physical and he had great health.

He was managing his weight, he was healthy.

He was exercising.

In fact, he had had his first colonoscopy.

His dad died of colon cancer and they had removed some polyps.

And he was so excited.

This was about eight months before he died saying, I'm going to be okay.

I'm going to walk Katie down the aisle.

So that was Katie was eight banner nine then.

Anyway, so it was completely sudden.

And then to answer your question about like the hardest thing, the hardest thing was that I lost my identity when he died.

And so I had to figure out who I was.

I had been with Eric since I was 14.

And had been married, for 28 years.

And so I didn't know who I was.

And here I am with these twins.

And, so I had to make.

I mean, I'm still, I guess, but you hanging out who I am.

We're going to get back to more of that story.

It's such a survival story.

We'll get to that in just a moment.

Helen Kumari to you now.

I've known you for years.

I know you know, I have great respect and admiration because of what you have gone through.

Helen, you really had it all.

Back in the day, you were one of the best reporters here in Southern California.

No question.

You and I worked together for years at PBS.

You had money, you had success, you had fame.

And then all of a sudden, like, release of your life changed so drastically in a bit of a different way.

You've never gone public.

You've never told anyone.

You've never shared your story.

Thank you for being the first to share it here with our audience.

What happened to you, Helen?

Well, I was working as a reporter for NBC, and I was covering a veterans event.

And as we were, as I was finishing the report, that's it from here.

I'm home tomorrow.

Back to you.

All of a sudden, I started crying on screen, and I wasn't feeling anything.

I was just crying.

So, you know, I got off, and as soon as I walked away, the executive producer got in my ear, you know?

Helen, are you okay?

What's going on?

And I had no answers, I didn't know.

I just, would you call it a breakdown?

I don't know.

All I know is I was on TV and whatever was.

The health, whatever it was, was coming out.

I was crying.

Now I was depressed, but, I didn't know what was going on.

I think that a lot of us, don't do self-reflection.

I knew I was stressed.

I knew that a lot of things in life wasn't wasn't going right, but I just kept making myself go.

And I didn't realize until that happened.

And then I left NBC and went to a series of doctors that I was going through depression and attention deficit and health concerns that were all affecting me.

What was the solution back then?

Was it medication was a therapy?

Was it not working?

Was it not getting stressed?

I mean, how did you put yourself together?

Because, I know your life has been an extraordinary challenge from that day going forward.

I think that and I think Lisa can relate to this.

When something strikes out of the blue, you know, you're just.

I'm just shell shocked.

I just didn't know what was going on.

And it took me a long time to figure it out.

But I had my sense of humor and I had my faith.

So as this as I was just trying to figure this out, I just kept telling myself, it's going to be okay.

Even though the voice in the back of my head was, what's going on?

This is awful.

You're terrible.

I had so much shame I didn't know who to ask what was going on.

I didn't know what was wrong.

So I think looking back in the big picture, it took all of it.

And thank God I'm a journalist.

And so when I was able to see something is wrong, I turned over every stone to find out what was wrong with me.

You know, back then we didn't have social media or Facebook or everyone didn't have video phones to be able to record the news.

So I had no way of knowing that there was anyone else in the world out there like me.

So I just did my research.

I found good counselors and therapists and doctors and church and, a group of women that were going through similar circumstances, and it took all of it.

One thing wouldn't have helped.

This, in, in your, tragedy.

You've been so unselfish.

I know you've traveled all over the U.S., you've talked to women who have dealt with horrendous adversity, horrendous tragedy.

What's the worst part about all of this?

From what these women are telling you, what are their stories that they're sharing?

Well, whereas become widows in many different ways.

The hardest way is when husbands commit suicide, which is something that hap that happens and maybe seems like it's been happening more, but you have to figure out how to find your come.

And I like some of the things that Helen was saying, like, humor and faith.

Those things are things that really help us get through.

And I think, too, is finding, like, the little part of yourself that's still there.

For me, it was writing.

I was you know, professional writer as in public relations.

So I could write about how I was feeling and how I was doing.

And I was doing some humorous writing, too, about being a widow, because there are some, like, funny things that happen.

And, and so I was able to slowly piece it back together that way.

Everybody has to find their own way.

And again, you have to find that thing that's inside of you that you can build on.

Yeah.

Your life change a lot to, I knew you nearly 20 years ago, to let our audience know you are an amazing public information officer for politicians, for cities in Orange County.

You dealt with various mayors, administrators.

I mean, you really, had a lot of responsibility.

And certainly you left for Kansas City.

And just leaving California must have changed your life so dramatically.

I'm guessing.

It did.

I love Kansas City.

So in a lot of ways, it it was a very good change.

But the thing that was the hardest was that Eric died eight months after I moved halfway across the country.

The only support I had in Kansas City where his dear aunt and uncle, Uncle Larry, an aunt who were wonderful to us.

They're my best friends still.

So, like, not having a network.

My neighbors were wonderful.

You've heard of Midwestern?

Nice.

There's a lot of that around here.

So, Yeah, I had to figure out how to build my community as well.

Helen, I know you deal with so many health issues these days.

You're you're such a strong survivor.

You're a warrior.

And I know you've also never stopped being a reporter.

You're always a journalist.

You like Lisa?

You've just talked to so many women over the years.

What are some of these women telling you when they share their stories?

And then, more importantly, what do you tell them?

Helen?

Well, I would say the number one thing that I never told anyone what was happening.

I didn't know what was happening, but I never confided.

If you talked to anyone who knew me really well during that time period, no one knew that I was going through some kind of a physical and mental breakdown.

And I think the number one thing is you, each of us know people in our lives that are really struggling with something, and they're masking and I know with me, you know, I'm I would just shove it off.

I'd be like, oh, you're fine.

I wouldn't let it in, you know?

Yeah, I'm stressed, but that's the job.

So I know that there are people out there that are silently suffering.

And I'm sure Lisa met these people, too.

I think the number one thing that you have to do is community.

You have to find like minded people because none of us can do this alone.

Figuring out what you need, another set of eyes, you need another set of eyes to say, you know, I notice this.

I noticed that.

Have you considered this?

And now I have no excuse.

I have all these tools.

I have the internet, I have I have, zoom and FaceTime, and I can reach out.

And there are people that we all know that are suffering in silence, whether it's a physical thing, a mental, you know, a Rubik's cube that they're trying to figure out.

We all know that.

And I know I felt such shame, and I knew that I would be argued with and talked out of, you're fine.

You know that I, I didn't tell anyone.

Lisa, speaking of coping, the writing was your sort of catharsis.

I did read some of your book.

As I said, you had.

You had sent me some passages.

You describe.

I don't want to get too personal if I'm getting to apologize.

There was a lot of drinking and dating going on after losing Eric.

Can you talk about that?

Yeah, well, I would actually, when I wrote, I'd sit down with a big glass of wine.

The numbing was good.

Like.

I mean, I'm not gonna.

I'm not gonna say that, like, maybe the drinking helped a little bit.

And went on 101st dates, and I'm.

And I'm not even going to say that I was sober on all of them.

Like I said, I lost my identity.

I didn't know who I was without Eric, I part of me thought, I need to find out who I am through a man, which is not the right way.

I mean, I've righted the ship.

I still like wine.

I still go on dates, but, Know why I wrote my book and published my book, Harry, warts and all, is because I want widows to know that they're going to be a hot mess about something.

Drinking men, finances, neglecting your kids, whatever it is.

You're going to be okay.

Like you need to.

You need to recalibrate your life.

You need to find out who you are, and you're not going to be perfect about it.

And Helen probably understands this, too.

Like, as a woman in our society, we have to have it all together and we have to be the perfect, I don't know, church lady or however it is.

And, like my book, I'm not ashamed of it.

I'm not ashamed of my story.

And that's how I healed.

So I think that the more we can talk about it, the more we can share with friends and people.

Our journeys, the healthier we're going to be and the more we're going to bounce back.

I want to ask both of you the same question, because both of you, I just spoke to you the other day.

We didn't really get into much on the phone.

I usually just leave it off for the interview.

Both of you.

Interesting.

You mentioned Faith, as part of your healing list.

So I'll start with you.

How did faith and faith and what?

Not sure you can have faith in lots of things, but what did faith mean to you in that sort of how did it help heal your journey and get you help heal your soul?

I should say maybe get you through this tragic journey?

Well, I've always been like a faithful Christian churchgoer.

I've always prayed.

I always had faith.

Eric and I shared faith.

We share it with our kids.

But after Eric died, I was in such shock that I didn't think about God a whole lot except for I'd go to church and just cry.

Like submitting to my journey.

But one day I actually tripped and fell on the stairs coming down, and I had had a little poster put up.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for hope and a future, which is Jeremiah 2911.

And I like fell on the stair.

And I stopped, and there it was like right in front of me.

And and then, oh, I have oh, God, has a plan for me.

I'm not just out here like a beauty in the ocean.

And that really brought me back to, having faith in God and trusting God, for my journey.

And that was, you know, 3 or 4 years ago.

And each month, each year I've gotten closer to God and I've been able to rely on him more and more in my faith.

And my prayer life is great.

Those really helped me as well.

That is such a great story and such a source of strength.

I'm glad to hear that.

As far as how it healed you, Helen, do you have a similar story?

What is what role has faith played in your life since you've been sick?

Well, for me, it's everything I believe.

I.

You have to believe in something greater than yourself.

Because otherwise you're all alone out here, and I have a lot of friends that as we go through things, as we get older, you know, when you're young, you haven't experienced anything yet.

You haven't experienced a death or divorce or a huge breakup or a fire.

You know, your story isn't, you haven't been tested yet.

And as you go through that, I quickly found that my faith was everything.

And having having people to talk to.

Because if I'm the only source, if the answers are in me, we're in trouble because I was broken and I still am.

And I have to know that there's something bigger than me that I don't understand, that I can have faith in, and that to me, that's God.

And, different people have different things.

And I would agree with Lisa how she says, you know, she still drinks, thank God, thank God for all the tools he gives us here on this earth to numb ourselves.

You know, because it is hard.

This is hard.

And there are so many things there that we because we only know what we know that we, exclude that we don't think.

And you have to be able to be honest with yourself what you say to yourself when you're laying on your pillow at night, the deepest, darkest, you have to be able to go there and talk to something bigger than yourself, because we all have a mask.

Even from that.

And that's where you have to be clear and honest.

And if you can do that, I think that, God support you.

And I know in my story I can say that's why I'm still standing.

There was no question.

I'm going to say, Helen, you might agree with me.

I've never been so broken yet so healed at the same time.

And that is what my faith has done for me, right?

I, I mean, I went through, thank God I had I searched out lots of groups that were groups at church.

There were online groups.

I searched out groups and for someone who has such faith, I got mad.

I got mad at God and I would lay there and go, I can't believe you've done this.

I can't believe you're allowing that to happen.

And then I'd feel guilty.

And my pastor would say, you know what?

God can handle it.

If he's so much bigger than you, you're like a little two year old having a tantrum.

Get it out.

Tell him your frustration.

He knows it anyway.

So I, I really went off the deep end.

I would have these screaming conversations with I can not believe that after how good I've been or why me, that I would have to go through this.

And you look around, right Lisa?

And you see you're comparing yourself.

You know, I'm watching TV and all my friends are still on TV, and I'm so.

And you're lying to yourself and you're saying, no, you're healthy, you can do it.

But there's other stuff going on.

And I trust that that is moving me toward a higher purpose.

And that's what has got me.

So, yeah, I don't have this big life anymore.

I'm not on TV.

Everything has changed now.

We're in a whole different time, 2025, but we still all impact people every day, whether that's the mailman or getting gas, our neighbor.

And in that I my purpose is to tell my story and encourage people.

And that's enough.

You know, I might not be available to 17 million people in the broadcast arena, but I'm available right here to the person right beside me to say, hold on.

And if you can't hold on, let go.

Do whatever you need to do.

Just explore all of it.

Just go there and you'll come out the other side better.

No truer words were ever spoken.

Hell.

And that is very profound.

And I'm very serious about that.

You said something a few minutes ago.

You said you're broken so many years after the incident, when you're in front of the camera and you couldn't do your report, and now you're saying so many years later you're broken, do you mind if I ask?

What do you mean when you say you're broken?

What I think of myself.

You know, our self-talk is pretty bad.

And I've had counselors tell me.

I can't believe you talk to yourself that way.

But the truth is, all of us out there do.

So when I would go by the TV and see my friends out there covering something, I would.

The voice would say, yeah, you could have done that to you're, you know, you're a failure.

You are a waste of skin.

And I would tell myself this every time, but I'm funny, so I would make fun of it.

But this is the internal dialog, and I'm broken in the sense that none of us grow up and go to college.

And, you know, I had my life planned out at 22.

I knew everything I did.

Now I don't know anything, but it's letting go of that.

And I'm broken in the sense that not all put together, you know, in my, health and in love and in finances and, and I'm a failure in so many of those.

But it's showing up as broken.

And I think what's great is that now we do we don't put that mask on.

Women aren't afraid to say, I'm really hurting and just let it be.

Just it's no answers.

I am really hurting men and women, you know, and I think that's what's different.

You all want the strongest people I know.

Lisa, are you broken or are you better now?

How are you doing?

How are your kids doing?

I will always be broken.

And that's one of the things that I learned.

I mean, when you knew me back when I was a Pio, I was kind of perfect, but that wasn't very possible.

I think my brokenness makes me, vulnerable.

And it makes me be the kind of person that can help a neighbor, or I can help a widow.

But generally, I think we're doing good.

My daughter is, 16.

My my son is 17.

They're both doing wonderful in school, and they are absolutely amazing people.

We have just a couple minutes remaining in the program.

Lisa, what is the final message you have, not just for viewers or women who are suffering or struggling?

Maybe you have a message for Helen and then Helen to you, what is your final message?

Possibly for Lisa and to other women, first to Lisa, then Helen.

We have a couple minutes left.

Well, I think my message to Helen and to other women.

And I know Helen, you already know this is in your brokenness.

You become strong.

And so when you have really hard times, embrace them, move through them, find your things that are going to help you move forward.

Faith.

For me, it was writing a little wine.

But, you know, find those things that are going to help you and then just do them and know that you're not going to be perfect and your life is going to be okay.

You're going to be okay.

You're going to make it through the rough patch.

Helen.

I would say that, you have to be willing to be brutally honest with yourself and, maybe most of us don't know how to do that.

Most of us don't know how to lay there on our pillow before we go to sleep and tell ourselves the hard, honest truth.

And you have to be willing to go there because the only way out is through.

And if you can get over that hump and figure out what you need to do, your life is so much better.

It was the best thing that happened to me.

I went through the worst thing that could ever happen to me divorce, surgeries, health, everything that is the worst thing that I wouldn't give to myself.

I did, and it was the worst thing that ever happened.

But guess what?

I can look back and be thankful.

And it was the best thing.

And you're not going to get there if you think you're okay.

If you think I got this, I got this.

You have to somewhere be able to see I need help.

Okay.

So already, Helen Kumari, what can I say?

Thank you both so much for this interview.

So greatly appreciate it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

David.

Now for more information about our program just click on KLCS.org and then click Contact Us to send us your questions or comments, your story ideas so we can hear from you or contact me directly @DavidNazarNews on X or on YouTube.

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Thanks so much for joining us.

I'm David Nazar.