(upbeat music) - So I think there is a, a learning curve for the grownups in kids' lives as to where that line is between uh, struggle and support and um, doing it for them.

- Once I was able to let go of trying to tell answers, I got into a rhythm.

- What's most important to us is that they enjoy school, so that even when it does become challenging that drive to want to learn more is there.

- We as parents always want to provide support and parents and schools want their child to be successful.

However, in order for the child to be successful and to grow and develop and to mature, we must allow that productive struggle.

There will be times that our child will appear to struggle at through the online learning process, and it's so important for the parents to allow the process to happen.

- I think of this as you can guide, but not tell.

And that's a challenge for teachers as well.

It's not unique to families.

We do see some over-helping, but the other side of that is support.

We're not looking for frustration, hoodies up heads down and crying.

I could provide some hints for this, but I'm not going to get to the point of telling the answer during independent work, that is tremendously helpful.

Sit with your kid, watch your kid work, don't do the problems for them, don't write the things, don't make the projects, don't do the art, let them work it through with your support.

- When they develop those resiliency skills, they have more confidence and are, are more socially, emotionally healthy to succeed as adults.

- This is important for kids to be able to identify, number one, I have an issue here and I don't really know the answer, but what tools can I use to figure out the answer.

Part of you as a parent wants to just say, okay, what do you have?

Let me check it.

Okay, well, here's the answer.

But you know that, that's not going to help them in the end.

I'm really trying to help them go through steps and ask questions of, you know, how did you get there?

Or explain your answer a little bit more, or can you give me a couple more details?

- That was one of the things that I, I took pride in was asking them good leading questions that highlighted the process, to ask some questions, some extra questions about this.

What is this question really asking?

What are the little pieces?

Those kinds of things were ways to sort of prompt the right process and to help the process, get to the answer and help the student get to the answer.

- The support that we provide young people differs based on their age and their needs.

What we've learned is our children don't like to make mistakes in front of their families.

So a little privacy for learning is good, but checking in on them on a regular basis is also good.

And if they struggle so much that with your help, with your hints, they can't do it, let the teacher know, because the teacher needs to go back and re-scaffold, reteach and re-support that learner.

- Now, if there's a question and my child does not know the answer, I let the teacher guide the child on what to do next, to have the child to learn that answer, instead of just handing the answer over to the child.

And I find that that helps them to learn even better.

- I've had an opportunity as a dad, to learn what his strengths are and what his weaknesses are.

So going forward, whether it's with sixth grade or whether it's gonna be in high school, when he runs into a problem, I have a pretty good understanding of how he learns, how he tackles it and what roadblocks he puts up for himself.

Every kid learns a little bit different, but if you can figure out how their personality and how they deal with a struggle and how they can overcome it, then you can encourage them to do it so that they can do it for themselves.

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