- Welcome to Healthy Minds.

I'm Dr.

Jeff Borenstein.

Everyone is touched by psychiatric conditions, either themselves or a loved one.

Do not suffer in silence, with help, there is hope.

(gentle music) Today on Healthy Minds: Today I have a conversation with Yannick Benjamin, a person who, after a car accident, has been in a wheelchair.

- It's a day that changed my life forever.

I was in a car accident.

It happened on the evening of October 26th.

Went into midnight of October 27th of 2003.

I was 25 years old.

Up until that point, at the age of 25, I was a healthy young man.

- Yannick shares with us that experience and how he's been able to move forward with his life.

That's today on Healthy Minds.

(gentle music continues) This program is brought to you in part by: The American Psychiatric Association Foundation.

The John and Polly Sparks Foundation.

And the WoodNext Foundation.

(gentle music continues) Yannick, thank you for joining us today.

- Thank you for having me.

It's an honor.

- I want to jump right in and have you really set the stage for what happened in October, 2003?

- Yes.

It's a day that changed my life forever.

I was in a car accident.

It happened on the evening of October 26th.

Went into midnight of October 27th of 2003.

I was 25 years old.

That evening, I was returning home from a long shift, working as a sommelier.

For those of you that do not know what a sommelier is, it's someone that... it's a dedication to the profession of wine and beverage in the restaurant business.

And so I was driving home, and unfortunately, I was in a car accident that left me paralyzed from the waist down.

It happened more specifically on 96th Street, right on the West Side Highway on Manhattan Island.

- Obviously, that changed your life tremendously.

Tell us about what it was like to go through the shock of such a change, how it affected you in the immediacy of it, and then how you began to rebuild your life moving forward.

- I'll tell you one thing, Jeff.

The one aspect of it that I remember so vividly was that evening, my car was parked at the Holiday Inn parking lot or right next to it, which was on 57th Street between 9th and 10th.

And that night, it was pouring cats and dogs.

And I remember having to run to get my car.

And so I was running, and I remember just the rain coming down.

In one hand, I just vividly remember saying to myself, "Okay, it's just rain.

It's just water.

Who cares?"

And how good it felt to run.

Because I was always very active.

I always worked.

I mean, I always worked out.

And so having this moment of where I was running and exercising and challenging my body was just a reminder, "Well, I need to get back to working out because it's been a couple of weeks.

I've been working too much."

And so then when the car accident happened, specifically when everything kind of just settled down, I remember getting myself out of the car, and I was laying on my back outside, and I could just feel this intense magnetic pull.

But what I knew for sure, of course, I didn't know what was to come, I knew that whatever happened at that moment was going to be life-changing for sure.

However, within those few seconds, it was quite interesting because I just had flashbacks.

I had flashbacks of when I stole Bubble Gum from the local deli and getting caught and being reprimanded by the owner and by my parents when I was seven years old or eight years old, whatever it was, to just things of, you got to get yourself help, get yourself out of this situation.

And just when I was, all these thoughts that were passing by, there was, at that time, there was what you would call a gypsy cab driver.

You know, there was no Uber, no Lyft at that time.

And he comes out, and he's walking towards me, and he's like, "Don't move, don't move.

I'm calling the cops."

Because at that time, when I was, I finally had pumped myself up to get myself motivated.

I then turned myself over, and I started to slowly kind of almost pulling myself up to the side of the hill towards the highway.

And by the time I had gotten there, I didn't realize it, but my pants had rolled down to my ankles, and it was pretty cold that day, it was raining.

And so another group of ladies had also come to help me.

And they said to me specifically, they were, "Are you cold?

We're so sorry.

You must feel terrible."

And I remember saying to them, "Well, I'm not that cold.

I'm okay.

They're like, "Well, you're naked."

And I said, "Oh my gosh, this is going to be pretty bad."

Because I didn't feel anything.

So, already, physically, I was not able to move anything.

Even in that short span, I knew, I had an understanding.

But then the concept of not being able to feel the wet soil and wet water, that was pretty awakening.

- And basically, we really are talking about two sets of obviously related challenges.

One is the physical challenge, and then the mental challenge of this changing your life.

I'd like you to speak a little bit about those things.

- The physical aspect.

I knew it was going to be hard.

However, I kind of remained optimistic, and I always saw the glass half full.

And what do I mean by that?

A few years prior to my car accident, I remember my mother coming into my bedroom, and she said, "I have some bad news to tell you.

Your cousin Guy, who was working on a farm in France, he's paralyzed from the waist down."

And me being the 6'2", 6'3", you know, worked out, you know, took good care of himself, I just simply said, "Oh my God, that's really terrible, but he's got his lower body, I mean, his upper body, he's got upper-body strength, so he'll be able to figure it out."

And it wasn't me being dismissive, it was just me looking at things, you know, half glass full.

And so, I kind of continued that same mentality.

But of course, things are different when it actually happens to you.

The mental aspect was something very different because I was not prepared for everything else that came with being paralyzed.

So what do I mean by that?

I thought, yeah, okay, no longer walking, running, standing, you name it, right?

But I didn't really think about how I was going to go to the bathroom, how that was going to change, not being able to have full function of your bladder.

That was a big game-changer.

I didn't fully understand that until a few weeks into rehab.

That was pretty life-changing.

And then not feeling, right?

So being aware of pressure sores, being on top of stuff like that, getting the proper cushion for your wheelchair.

And then sort of like the social challenges that you face.

Broken elevators, how do I get to work?

Transportation.

Finding that right job that's going to suit your situation.

So those really kind of were big mental burdens, especially as time went on and having to deal with that.

- Would you describe yourself at any point during this process of being depressed, of really being overwhelmed with sadness about the changes in your life?

- I think the one emotion that I definitely felt, and it still carries with me, is the anxiety, and you just used the word overwhelming, but having to deal with the world of insurance and navigate all of that was just something that I was simply not prepared for and I never understood, because up until that point, at the age of 25, I was a healthy young man.

So I never had to deal with that.

I mean, every so often, I went to the doctor or the emergency room, and that was kind of it, and I paid my copays.

But here it was on another level.

Getting denied for physical therapy, getting denied for outpatient.

All of this was just unbeliev- I didn't understand it, and it really kind of, I became so fearful of it.

And then, of course, I had to, you know, you have to fight for yourself, even though you're still trying to deal with everything else.

Fighting with, oh, I need my catheters, durable medical equipment.

Stuff for your wheelchair, parts for your wheelchair.

So that was the anxiety of it all, was something that I had never experienced.

It was unbelievable.

- It's unfortunate that we, as a society, don't embrace people in that situation and sort of put more obstacles in the way instead of help them move forward.

- Yes.

Completely agree.

- I want to ask you about the support of family and friends, and the role that has played for you.

- Well, I'm talking to you today because of my family and friends.

The day that I had my accident, there was a line, I mean, there was well over 50 people that day, which is quite a bit.

So much so that, you know, the hospital had to get involved and like, kind of navigate all of that.

But to say that I'm here today and I've been able to accomplish everything on my own would be the biggest lie.

It's completely not true.

My mother, my father completely dedicated and loyal to me.

Prior to my car accident, I had just gotten married to my first wife, and then three months later, my car accident happened.

Their family was, they were a powerful impact, I mean, they were there all the way for me.

My sister, she was there as my rock, you know, kind of, you know, that incredible kind of amount of empathy that I needed.

She was, really, was just powerful.

And even now, today, my second wife, who I've been married to for well over 10 years, she continues to be that support that's much needed.

And also, because the obstacles are constantly in the way, and to pretend that I don't need someone would be false.

- We all need someone, you even more than others because of the physical and, at least, especially at first, the psychological obstacles.

I want to ask you for about the role that exercise has had.

And I know that you've been involved in marathons, so you've really been able to make use of exercise.

Could you tell us about how important that is to you?

- Well, since I was a very young boy, I always played sports, I was very active.

Exercising, I think I got my first gym membership at one of the New York City gyms that you paid $25 a year at that time.

And I started going to a gym regularly at the age of 12.

So me not going to the gym or me not working out, it's like someone not having dinner, right?

If I can, I try to work out every single day.

That's how important it is.

So usually that 45 minutes to an hour and a half, that's completely dedicated to some kind of physical activity, whether it's me on my hand crank, lifting weights, stretching.

But it's almost impossible for me not to work out.

- And training for the marathon.

When did you run the first marathon?

- Yeah.

- And what was it like to train for that?

It's a hard thing to get ready for.

- Especially after my car accident, I was going through a lot of, who am I?

What am I going to be?

Where am I going?

And so, no matter where we are in life, we need that sense of purpose, right?

We need objectives, right?

And when I heard that there were people who were part of the disabled community that I saw on TV or that I met because they introduced themselves to me as mentors, that they had done the marathon, I said, "Oh my gosh.

Well, that's something I definitely want to do."

I had never done a marathon.

I had run before, I jogged.

But I said, "You know what?

This is a really good challenge to give me that confidence that I needed," especially post-accident.

And so, five years after my car accident, I believe it was in 2008, if I'm not mistaken, when I did my first New York City marathon.

I just started training, and I said, "Well, I don't know what time I'm going to cross the finish line, but I'll get there when I get there, but the point is, is that I'm going to do it."

And so that gave me that confidence and that purpose that I really was lacking those first few years.

- One of the other areas of purpose for you is the passion for the hospitality industry.

And I want you to tell us where did that passion come from, and what that's been like for you?

- That passion comes from my mom and my dad.

Not only because they also worked in hospitality.

My father always worked in restaurants, as did his brothers, my cousin, and my mom, she worked for families as a housekeeper.

But not only were they hospitable and great at what they did as a profession, but my friends loved coming home, coming to my house, because they were so well taken care of.

And my parents just embraced them.

And so, I grew up, you know, with a very diverse group of friends.

So, you know, we're having pate, we're having foie gras, because my parents are French.

So this was all exciting, but most of all, it wasn't just about my mom and my dad, who were serving them, you know, it was just the experience that they had created, right?

And so, I really got it from them, and I just fell in love with being around people.

And most of all, what really got me hooked was, at the age of 18 when I started working for Sirio Maccioni, a very famous restaurateur at Le Cirque, that's no longer around, but, I fell in love with this world of wine.

This was back in the '90s.

People were spending so much money, and I said, "Wow, what's going on here?"

And then I just realized that this world of wine is so intertwined with geography, history, farming.

And so, this is where I really want to focus on, this is my niche.

- And you've followed that niche, including opening up a restaurant that was user-friendly for wheelchairs, had menus with braille.

Tell us about the process of opening up that restaurant.

- So when I had the opportunity to open up this restaurant, it was kind of almost a passion project.

I knew deep down inside that I was never going to really see a penny if I was very lucky.

And I was hoping that if this restaurant did very well, then maybe we can open other concepts, right?

And I was very lucky that I had a couple of people, I'm very grateful to them, who believed in me and who helped me open up this restaurant, and I had some really great partners as well.

So we opened up this restaurant, but I opened it in mind with the experiences that I had working in hospitality as someone who is a wheelchair user and as someone who's also a wheelchair user, but going to restaurants.

And my good friend Peter Slayton, who's part of the low-vision community, he uses this term called social accessibility, right?

And so we always talk about making sure that there's ramps and adaptive flatware, and all of that important stuff.

Certainly important.

Bathrooms are accessible.

But how do we make the guests feel?

And so, when you have someone that comes to the restaurant, to your establishment, with a disability, and as we know that there's well over 62 million people who identify as having a disability, but it's a mosaic of different spectrums, right?

And so, we know that treating someone who's on a wheelchair is going to be very different to someone who's part of the low-vision and blind community, right?

So we trained our staff, and we wanted to make sure that each of these individuals who took time out of their day to come to our restaurant all the way up on 111th Street, between Park and Madison, East Harlem, were going to be treated to a unique experience.

And us serving them and giving them that excellent service was our gratitude to them.

Because we know that going out to eat, especially with someone with a disability, is not easy.

Some people are coming out as far as Brooklyn, taking two to three trains, and dealing with all that, just so they can come to our restaurant to experience that kind of love, care, and support that a lot of times people with disabilities aren't able to find.

- I love how you're describing that, and I'd like for our audience, somebody comes across somebody in a wheelchair or another disability, what advice do you give them so that they're embracing and welcoming to that person?

- Well, there are three things that I try to live by, and they're very simple, and I fail at them, but I try to remind myself: Facial expressions, right?

A simple little smile or something engaging.

Body language, right?

That says a lot.

And your tone of voice, right?

So a simple, like, "Good afternoon, if there's anything that I can do to assist, please let me know."

And I think that's really as far as it goes.

I mean, something as simple as that, that simple acknowledgement.

"Excuse me, can I please open up that door for you?"

And I might just say, "Well, thank you very much, but I'm all set."

Great.

Things like that, just that it's a nice, warm opening.

And as I tell people, you don't have to work in hospitality to practice hospitality.

- Well said.

Very well said.

(Yannick chuckles) I want to shift to some of the charitable work that you've done, specifically Wine on Wheels and Wheel Forward.

Tell us about that.

- Well, I grew up surrounded by Christian brothers.

I went to a grammar school on 51st and 10th Avenue.

And one particular person who really had this profound effect on me, Brother Tony Reynolds.

And I really admired him.

The fact that he sacrificed having a family for this call of duty.

I mean, it's really a call of poverty, right?

And he was an incredible art teacher.

I had that same art teacher for 10 years.

He was my same art teacher for 10 years.

And I'm still a terrible artist, but he taught me a lot about the arts, he taught me a lot about critical thinking.

He taught me about never losing your curiosity, but also this aspect of giving back.

And so much so that there were moments in my life where I kind of thought about going into that order as well.

Of course, I didn't do it.

But I always knew that I, somehow or somewhere, I'd always want to give back to the community because so much has been given to me, and the universe has given so much to me.

I mean, I still have a mom, and my mom lives right above the wine store that I have.

And to me, this is unbelievable, at 48 years old, that I can still call my mom and have conversations with her or ask her to do me a favor.

But there are so many people in this great city of New York that don't have those same kind of resources.

So, Wine on Wheels came about a few years after my car accident, along with my dear friend and partner, where we said, well, why don't we raise some money through wine, through some food, and with that money that we raise, we can help other people, the forgotten voices, the forgotten people of New York, primarily those that are from the disability community, who don't have that same kind of love, care, and support that one needs to make it through these really challenging times that we face sometimes.

- And tell us a little bit about what exactly you do.

How are you able to give back through these organizations?

- Every year, we do a big annual grand tasting called Wine on Wheels, which happens at City Winery, which will happen again this year.

And through that money that we raise, we've identified smaller nonprofits, grassroots organizations that are doing tremendous work in the community.

There's a wellness and physical fitness center called the Access Project, where all the equipment is adaptive there, and it's just an amazing place, run by some of the greatest people I know.

Then you have Women on Wheels, which is run by a good friend of mine as well, who happens to also be on the board of Wine on Wheels, where they're focusing, the community here is women that have a disability that are primarily on wheelchairs, and really kind of getting them engaged and trying to help them find their purpose and drive, and really just really good work.

And then also we do support the Holy Trinity Church, which also does this incredible soup kitchen every Saturday to serve food and serve these individuals that are food insecure and treat them with dignity that they deserve.

So, we're keeping our hands busy.

- Yannick, if somebody is watching right now and they just had an accident like yours, what do you say to them?

- The first thing that I would say is really embrace all the love that you're going to get.

And it's easy sometimes to lash out at those that we're closest with, because we're scared, we're confused, we don't know what the future holds.

And these are very normal emotions, and it's important that that person knows that everyone goes through it.

But the most important thing is to try not to push them away.

And to also understand that, yes, you are the one going through the injury, you're at the hospital, but remember they're also injured in their own kind of way too.

They're suffering with it as well, just as you are.

So try not to push them away and realize they are your biggest asset.

- Very good advice.

Very good advice.

Finally, where do you see yourself in five years, 10 years down the road?

What types of goals do you have moving forward?

- That's a great question.

I'm still trying to figure that part out.

But listen, I have a great job.

I have my passion with the nonprofit, with Wine on Wheels.

We have the wine store along with my wife.

I hope, really, one of my objectives and my goal is to continue to speak about the challenges and difficulties that people face with disabilities navigating the healthcare system.

Because it's way too complicated.

It's more complicated than it needs to be.

And we need to figure this out because I firmly believe that this whole concept of capitalism within healthcare doesn't really, they don't go well together.

I just don't think so.

And I also believe that we have people in our community, the disabled community, that have so much to offer, but they're limited because of the options that they have with healthcare.

So some of them have to stay on Medicaid and they can't make a certain amount of money, but they don't want to lose the Medicaid.

And we need to change that.

And I always say that there's someone in our community that might just have the cure for cancer, if we only can provide them with the right resources and the right support.

So I hope that in any way possible, if I can speak about my own personal experiences, that that might shed a light.

But I know that we are still far away off from fixing this crisis that I think is the healthcare system.

It's completely broken in my personal opinion, in my view, and my experience.

- I appreciate you sharing that, and I appreciate you sharing your experiences.

It is truly inspirational to hear you speak, to see where you are now, where you're going to go down the road.

And I so appreciate you joining me today.

- Thank you so much, Jeff, it's a real pleasure.

(gentle music) - I'm inspired by Yannick, who with help from family and friends, has been able to move forward with his life.

Remember, with help, there is hope.

(gentle music continues) Do not suffer in silence, with help, there is hope.

(gentle music continues) This program is brought to you in part by: The American Psychiatric Association Foundation.

The John and Polly Sparks Foundation.

And the WoodNext Foundation.

(gentle music continues) (gentle music continues) (gentle music continues) (gentle music continues) (gentle music continues) (gentle music continues) (gentle music ending)