VOICEOVER (VO): Some of the nation's favorite celebrities... Why have I got such expensive taste?

VO: ..one antiques expert each... Oh!

Speak, oh wise one.

VO: ..and one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?

Answers on a postcard.

Oh!

VO: And auction for a big profit, further down the road?

When I'm cleaning windows.

VO: Who will spot the good investments?

Who will listen to advice?

Do you like it?

No, I think it's horrible.

VO: And who will be first to say "Don't you know who I am?!"

Well done us.

VO: Time put your pedal to the metal - this is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

VO: Doing battle today in the Roman playground of Essex are two gladiators of stage and screen - Simon Williams and Duncan Preston.

Look at that.

VO: And check out their chariot, eh, the magnificent E-Type Jag!

That is just so beautiful.

VO: The E-Type has always turned heads and made the headlines.

Enzo Ferrari himself called this the most beautiful car in the world when it was released in 1961.

I love those spoked wheels.

I suppose that is for you, is it?

I think so.

You'll probably have an old banger.

You'll have an old banger.

I'll have a Ford Escort.

Yeah.

Look at that.

VO: Treat it like a lady, Simon.

Gently does it!

Oh.

We're in for two very fine days.

We're in for some fine hunting weather.

VO: And Simon's on the hunt with Duncan whose career has spanned Hamlet to Emmerdale.

Look at this.

Wave.

No...

They've probably seen all the reruns of our programs.

VO: At the other end of the social spectrum Simon is famed for his aristocratic roles.

I'd have a Gauloises in the corner here.

I'd have dark glasses on and maybe a kind of sort of Jules et Jim kind of cap, nonchalantly...

The cap has got to be there.

Yes, yes.

VO: So with decades of playing the cream of the upper classes behind him, Simon should have no trouble getting to grips with the precision engineering of this classy little motor.

How many gears has it got?

Oh, who cares how many gears.

Four.

And the backward one you can't find.

I get my people to park for me.

VO: Of course he does!

And looking every inch the gentleman will surely be a boon when it comes to getting a good price for his antiques.

I'd be looking so cool and when the antique dealers saw me arrive, they'd add a zero to all the... Everything they'd got in store.

VO: Oh, well, maybe not then.

The cars match the men.

From sleek and sexy to muscular and manly!

Ha-ha!

Pairing up with our celebs are two road trip veterans Philip Serrell and James Lewis.

This is the very first car there ever was.

VO: It's a punchy 3.0 liter V8 Triumph Stag for them.

Yeah, because if you read the Bible, it says "Moses came down the hill in his triumph" and this is it.

This is it.

VO: In that case, just like our experts, it's aging beautifully.

Derbyshire auctioneer James Lewis started his career at the tender age of six when he bought a bird cage for his budgie at auction.

It was going "cheep".

Ha!

Made for you.

VO: When in Rome James!

Oh, no.

VO: And there's the Silver Fox himself, auctioneer Phil Serrell who has a lot of bottle when it comes to taking a risk on some hair-raising purchases.

But when he's sewing up the competition, he's all business.

Tabletop sewing machine.

No, I don't mind.

Well you...

It's about taking part, isn't it?

Is it hell.

VO: Our teams have two days of antiques shopping ahead with £400 in their back pockets.

Their aim - to strike the kind of deals that'll make them lots of dosh at auction.

VO: So to battle, at Finchingfield in Essex.

Then it's a quick stop in Suffolk before road tripping the 300 miles to that all-important auction on the English Riviera at Torquay.

VO: Starting of in Finchingfield, there's just time for a cuppa before our experts meet our sophisticated celebrities.

James and Phil.

You got the drinks in, then?

How are you, good to see you.

How do you do?

Good to meet you.

Good to see you.

VO: Choosing partners, takes careful deliberation.

Heads?

VO: Ha!

OK.

Heads.

You got Phil.

Good, there we are, we're in business.

Shall we let them race off?

We'll sit down and have a quiet coffee and discuss tactics.

Yeah, that'd be nice.

That'd be lovely.

VO: Whilst Simon and James make a dash to the first shop, Phil reveals his strategy to Duncan.

Duncan, I think the plan is hare and tortoise job here.

Yeah?

Go on.

And... Well there's a pub there and I think we should equally spend our time between the antiques center and the pub.

What d'you reckon?

Well, I've gotta be honest, I saw the pub before the antiques center.

VO: Listen it's Antiques Road Trip, not Antiques Pub Crawl!

Nice to see one team, though, taking it seriously.

Hello, Simon Williams.

Hello, Simon, pleased to meet you.

Hi, I'm James.

James, hi James.

Hi there.

VO: Peter and Mary Curry have owned Finchingfield Antiques Centre for 25 years, although for the first seven years they ran it as a restaurant.

Whilst Duncan and Phil check out the retail opportunities in the pub, Simon is honing his haggling skills.

Have you got a lot to spend?

Poor as church mice.

Take no notice of the E-Type Jaguar.

VO: Not sure you'll get away with that one Simon.

In fact the boys have £400 to spend, but is there anything on the menu that will serve up a healthy profit?

I'm not moved here yet.

Are you?

JAMES: No, not yet.

SIMON: No.

Somebody actually made that, you know.

VO: Is Simon casting a spell?

Well, it's worth a try!

Interesting stuff.

I'm enjoying myself.

Are you?

Yeah.

It's er...

I always feel the pressure, you know, until I find the first thing.

Yes, yes.

Just hold this and... Yeah.

That's the sort of thing I love to find.

Big iron brackets and things?

Yeah.

VO: These cast-iron Victorian architectural brackets date to about 1860, and were often used in conservatories.

The whole discipline is about what you... not what you want to have in your house.

It's what we can make money on.

That's it.

That's why I'm a pauper.

VO: Exactly Simon.

Seems like he's really getting the hang of this road-tripping business.

He's got a good eye and he's keen.

So what do you like, what do you collect?

I like a bit of a painting.

VO: Simon's spotted a 1984 pastel by Jon Anthony Atkinson, entitled Joanie, Early Morning, priced at £38.

Is it a boy, or is it a woman?

VO: Poor old Joanie!

I think it's a woman.

I'm seeing woman.

I'm seeing woman now.

Seeing a woman who's had a disappointing time of it, I think.

Yeah.

She's not happy, is she?

But there's a mood there.

There's nice tones.

I think at 38 I think it's... Mm.

80... 1984, it's not early.

No, it's not early.

She's not... She's n... She's not happy, she's not pretty, she's not early, but...

There's something possibly a little bit French.

Yeah.

Yeah, I agree with you.

Could we make a buck on that?

Let's put it somewhere else, and stand back.

VO: Good plan.

Well, as they say, she's no oil painting, but will Joanie's frail charm attract a potential bidder?

Speak oh wise one.

I think it's nicely done.

I think you're right.

Damning with faint praise?

N-no.

Oh, I think she's either in her sickbed, or... She didn't quite get there.

Yeah.

VO: So to buy or not to buy is the question being pondered by team Simon.

Meanwhile nextdoor it seems Phil has found the answer to his problems, and no, it's not the wine.

Not a drop is sold till it's elev... till it's seven years old.

So, it's John Jameson's whiskey, isn't it?

It's Irish scotch.

Are you a scotch man?

No.

DUNCAN: I'm afraid not.

PHIL: You might be now.

I might be changing.

VO: Well, we all might be!

Can I take the bottles out?

Please do.

VO: Has Phil found unexpected treasure?

So, is this an old one, or a brand new one?

That was bought a couple of years ago from a lady called Heather who has a vintage shop here in the area, erm, in the area.

I think that's a fun thing.

Yeah, it is.

VO: Someone's taken a whiskey box, attached a handle, and hey presto!

That's quite a clever idea I think.

Yes, it is.

I mean, it's done a...

It's a trick, isn't it?

It's worked.

Yeah.

But that's just what it is.

But I think it's fun.

What you've gotta look at is who's going to buy it at the auction.

There's gonna be a few drinkers there, aren't there?

A few?

Well, there's gonna be us for a start.

Yeah, you're absolutely right but it's going to go to another pub, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I'd have that at home.

Particularly if it had six bottles of booze in it.

We're gonna be really mean here, but if that goes for auction, I think that's gonna make between 15 and 30 quid.

Which means we've got to try and buy it for somewhere between £5 and £10.

Is that any good?

You've got me crying here.

I would be crying, I would be crying.

I would.

Realistically we would... Oh... £20.

Do you like it?

Split the difference, 15 quid.

£15.

VO: Sold for £15.

And their slow-and-steady strategy bags them the first deal of the road trip.

Well done chaps!

It is all about tortoise and hare.

They've gone rushing off into there and we can enjoy our drink, can't we?

Is the round of drinks cheaper than the basket?

I'll have to buy you one as well, now, won't I?

That's a good point.

Thank you very much indeed.

VO: Strictly orange juice boys.

You're driving.

Nextdoor Joanie has been left to languish on the couch as Peter is summoned.

Can we borrow you for a minute?

Oh, yes, alright.

Please?

Thank you.

How long has this been in your premises, I wonder?

It's been in a long time, hasn't it?

You know the wallpaper was all faded around it?

No.

Stop it.

Luckily we don't have... We can't afford wallpaper, because of people like you.

That's got a bit of something about it, hasn't it?

She looks dead.

She's just resting.

No, we weren't thinking a fiver.

Well, that's just as well.

Are we talking here or are we actually negotiating here?

Ah, I'm not sure at the moment.

I mean, I think if we could get it for 20 we'd be in some kind of business.

Do you?

That was exactly the level.

We haven't pre-planned that either, I promise.

VO: It's a classic pincer movement.

Eh, I'll just confer.

I won't be a minute.

OK.

So, it's 38.

Right.

VO: Peter's consulting with the real boss, his wife, Mary.

So, 20 quid, looking at 38.

25.

You've got it at 25.

I think it might sell for 25.

22?

He's, eh, hard as flint, isn't he?

He is, he's a tough man.

Hard as flint.

A henchman here.

22.50 then.

22.50 I say at 22.50 I think that's a fabulous bargain.

Thank you very much.

And it's not even mine.

Thank you.

Well done.

There we are, well done.

Well found.

What do you think?

Hm... SIMON: You like?

You like?

VO: Too late for second thoughts old bean.

With Joanie in the bag the boys are in a buying mood.

Not coming back for your brackets?'

VO: Oh, the Victorian brackets.

Those brackets I think are very good at that price.

I think they're interesting.

49 quid the lot.

And he'll probably do, they're not mine.

He'll probably do them for... Eh, I should imagine we'd get them for about 35.

I think with the damage to them, I think if we could get that price tidied up a little further.

I can ring him up and ask him.

Good.

Let's wait and see what we get back on the phone here.

VO: Seems Simon's definitely getting the hang of this.

Time for Peter to call the dealer.

Eh, Alan, I've got Simon Williams and James Lewis here looking at your cast-iron brackets.

Eh, what were you..?

We wanted to offer 15 for the two, or 25 for the lot.

25 for the lot, or 15 for the two.

For the two good ones.

Is that about right, do you think?

Yeah.

No, no joy on that.

How about 35 then?

What do you think?

They're taking up a lot of space here.

VO: Exactly.

You're doing them a favor!

Are you gonna do that?

Alright.

You're on then.

OK. 35.

Yeah.

Done.

Good.

Thank you.

VO: Wow!

A nail-biting end and a standing ovation for our leading man!

Great.

Well done.

I've had a fantastic hour.

VO: So that's a 20th century pastel for £22.50, and four cast-iron brackets for £35.

57.50 altogether.

There you are, there's 60.

58, £60.

Lovely.

Thank you very much.

It's been so good doing business with you.

VO: Time to hit the road and with no sign of team Duncan, the opposition gets the pick of the cars.

Now which one will they choose I wonder?

I'm having the best day.

It is lovely.

Wonderful.

England, with a blue sky, open top car.

Yeah.

E-Type.

You.

Company... And the good thing is we've got cameras turning and I don't have to learn any lines.

What do I feel about antiques?

I absolutely love them, but if they're rubbish antiques I don't like them, and if they're very good antiques I get worried about the grandchildren knocking them over or breaking them, so they're a kind of two-edged sword, aren't they?

Yeah, they are.

VO: And Simon isn't the only one reflecting on the joys of the antiques trade.

Duncan is reminiscing about his time on Victoria Wood's masterpiece, Acorn Antiques.

Well, we had a great time doing that.

We didn't know how funny it was when we first started doing it.

I mean you look at one of Victoria Wood's scripts and we didn't know the backcloth was swinging from side to side, we didn't know half of what was going on.

I mean she has a vision like nobody has ever seen.

VO: Hang on, it looks like Phil's having a visionary moment of his own.

Look at all that lot in there look.

VO: What's the old dog up to?

There's all sorts of axles and all sorts, isn't there?

VO: Yes it's resting-in-peace, actually!

Guard dogs and all sorts of things.

We don't want to buy a guard dog, but is there anything else?

VO: Oh, dear.

It looks like the old remains of a trailer and something over there.

I think we need to look at places like this.

Well, we're certainly looking at it.

Right, onward ever onward.

VO: Onwards indeed.

Meanwhile, Simon and James are forging on 10 miles to Gosfield.

And the talk turns to this acting lark.

Have you always been acting?

Or, is it in later life, or...?

No, when I was a kid my father was an actor.

He took me to see My Fair Lady, with Stanley Holloway, and Stanley Holloway took me by the hand, took me out onto the stage of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane and it was a great big empty auditorium and he said, "What do you think of that?"

And I said, "Oh".

I just knew then that these were the buildings I wanted to be in all my life.

I love them.

VO: Next stop is on the outskirts of Gosfield, said to be where geese were rested on their march from Norwich to the markets of London.

Fantastic!

VO: Simon and James have big boots to fill.

I was guest of honor at the Gosfield Shopping Village opening ceremony back in 2006.

The Village has two main barns housing items from some 130 dealers.

Ha!

Wow.

And keeping an eye on proceedings is Beata.

She's Polish by the way.

Zen dobry?

BEATA: Dzien dobry.

JAMES: Dzien dobry.

Well done!

Well done.

VO: I didn't know you nearly spoke Polish James!

A good tactic though, get her on your side.

SIMON: (CHUCKLES) Guess.

65.

SIMON: 295.

JAMES: What?!

Yes.

Oh, that's incredible.

I'll carry my own luggage, sir.

Yes, exactly.

Talk me through these.

They've got a crown on the back, which is the hallmark for Sheffield.

A lion, which means it's English sterling standard silver and a "S" about 1900, 1910.

Yes?

Erm, a set of six of those are worth £30 to £40.

Yes.

VO: Ah, a wry smile, but that's half the ticket price.

We'd have to get half price to get our money back, I think.

I think we would.

VO: Moving to the next barn they now have 12 shop units and an art gallery to peruse.

Good tactics though split up, cover more ground that way.

So many things to feast the eye on.

VO: James has sniffed out something close to his heart, a snuff box.

This one dates to 1730.

It's mother-of-pearl, in tortoiseshell.

VO: Snuff used to be so popular that George III's wife Queen Charlotte dedicated a whole room to it and was known as "Snuffy Charlotte".

I think that's a possibility.

Shall I hand the sticker to you?

OK. VO: And he's not finished yet.

He's going box mad.

It's unusual because of its shape, more than anything else.

Yes, what is it made of?

This... Erm, Battersea Enamel.

Battersea Enamel?

Yeah.

VO: Battersea Enamel was a factory which used the transfer printing process, back in the 1750s.

That's a terribly special green.

It's, erm...about 1820.

They often had a mirror in the top and it was when you would have a spot, or a blemish in the skin, you would cover it with a beauty spot and then within 10 or 15 years it just became fashionable to have the beauty spot on there anyway.

Oh, really?

Yes.

Erm...

So you would literally just lick, tap and with the mirror, erm, apply.

VO: Lovely!

So with two boxes in hand, can they broker a deal with Beata?

Over to you Simon!

If we were to propose a job lot of this and the... JAMES: And that.

SIMON: ..that.

Are they £35 each?

35 each, yes.

So, that's 70.

£70 altogether.

Hm.

I'd like to make an offer of £60 for the pair.

OK. You are tough!

Well, but I don't see how else we can pull it off.

Would you go with that?

I think specially for both of you, you're so nice.

Oh.

VO: Pays to have a class act on your team.

Good work old fruit!

Just really makes it viable.

Lovely, thank you, gives us a chance.

VO: So that's £60 for an enamel patch box and a snuff box, just the thing James collects!

If it had been my money for my collection I'd have happily paid ticket price for that.

I think it's lovely.

SIMON: Well, there you are.

JAMES: But it's, er...

If only we could get that message to the auctioneer.

Yeah.

I wonder what Preston and Philip have been getting up to?

They've probably been in the pub all day.

They probably have.

VO: That's slanderous!

In fact Duncan and Phil have left Finchingfield and driven the 15 miles east to Sudbury.

They're visiting a place where an old age tradition thrives, and without which many of Britain's historic buildings simply wouldn't survive.

Am I looking at Peter?

You are indeed.

Nice to meet you.

How are you?

PETER: Very nice to meet you.

DUNCAN: And you.

And you.

I'm Philip.

Good to see you.

Nice to meet you indeed.

VO: Peter Minter's family business is one of the country's foremost brick makers and produces over 300,000 a year.

The bricks are used to renovate our most important buildings.

This is the end product of all this?

All this huge concern.

Yes.

Yes.

Mark Nicholson, Victoria Cottage, Halstead.

which is a local town, but it could be anywhere.

These are going to Hampton Court, so there's a variety.

They're all different, aren't they?

I never knew there were so many different bricks.

VO: In fact as every historic building is unique, there are more than 25,000 different types.

Most of them are molded.

Ordinary bricks are molded and most of the specials are molded and it depends entirely on where they are going as to the specification, the clay we blend for it and how we do it.

Can you take us through how you start right from the beginning?

Yes, go to the pit.

That's where it all starts with the geology in the clay.

So we can see that and you will understand the process as it evolves from there.

I'm looking forward to this.

VO: The Minters have been on site since 1936, but the tile kiln dates back to 1450 and the industry is even older.

The whole of the brick industry in this area goes back beyond, to Roman times and then into the Saxon period as well, so it almost seems to have been continuous.

So this is the pit, this is where we actually dig the clay.

Crikey Moses!

I can see there's a hole there.

That isn't... You don't put explosives in there do you?

No, no.

We dig it all in the autumn and we dig when it's the best conditions down here and then we're actually going to be stockpiling that and using it the following year.

And what you are looking at is estuary, from the Thames estuary, about 40 million years ago.

This was water?

Water, 40 million years ago.

The clay is the source of the material and the key to the whole thing.

VO: Turning that 40 million year old clay into bricks like these starts back in the workshop.

What's the goo?

That's the clay.

That's what you're looking at.

That's the clay.

We were down in the pit, having been processed through there with just water added.

It comes out as a paste like that.

VO: Kenny here has brick-making in the blood, and it's important to our heritage buildings that these skills are passed down.

His father works here, he makes the molds.

Right.

And his mother worked here.

It's all part of the family.

His whole family.

So this method that he's using, is this... Would it have been the same 100 years ago?

Yes, this building was here then.

This technique would have been used in this area.

It's called stock molding, because the block underneath there is known as the stock.

Right.

And the frame goes over it.

You can raise and lower your frame to get different thicknesses of the same size, but we've got over 150 different frame sizes.

There are about 25,000 different sized bricks you could make if you wanted to compute it all.

Extraordinary!

Can I have a go?

You certainly can have a go.

DUNCAN: Can I?

PETER: We'll dress you properly.

VO: Good idea.

This could get messy!

Kenny, will you show me how to do it?

Yeah, sure.

A bit of sand in there, right?

Your hand round in the middle.

VO: So far so good.

DUNCAN: And then in there?

KENNY: Yeah.

Oh.

Like that?

VO: Oh!

That fills out.

Is that right?

Now you want to roll it as you...

Roll it over as you...

It's falling out, Kenny.

VO: Oh, steady!

A bit of a shake.

Yeah.

A bit of a bang.

(METAL PINGS) That's called dropping a brick.

How was that.

KENNY: Erm... DUNCAN: Be honest.

Not very good.

I mean, I didn't mean that honest.

Don't hold back, Kenny, you tell him, son.

Go on, you let him have it.

VO: Oh, dear.

Honestly it just makes you look good this, doesn't it?

It's fabulous.

VO: Maybe stick to acting then, Duncan.

I think we should move on, don't you?

VO: Good idea!

But Phil's determined not to leave the brickyard empty-handed and he's spotted a decorative finial.

This looks to me like it's what, 1860, 1870?

It was copied originally from a much, much earlier 16th century building.

So this was 1870?

I think it was down... Erm, down on the Thames somewhere we did a series of pinnacles.

And then we were asked to make some more up, so that's copying something of the 16th century rather than 18th.

So, you made these?

Yes, we made those.

VO: Exactly Phil so unless Peter's aging well it's not 150 years old.

Is it for sale?

Well, I suppose anything's for sale, yes.

Here we go, hold on.

Now, in auction that's going to make 40 to 60, that sort of region, which means we've got to try and buy it for a bit less than that.

If we were selling them per item, you're looking at each... Oh, no, we don't want... You don't want to do that, No, no, no, we want to buy the whole lot, Peter and we want to give you, er... PETER: 40 or 50 quid.

PHIL: No, 30 quid.

PETER: 30 quid?

PHIL: 20 or 30 quid.

20 or 30?

I didn't think you'd like to hear the 20 bit.

No, I wouldn't like to hear 20 quid.

No.

But the 30 quid might do, might it?

30 quid, well it's...yeah.

I mean, just as it's you and just because it's you.

Ho-ho, ho!

Get in there.

Get in there.

Brilliant, Peter.

VO: Crikey.

So, he's either bagged a bargain or.... We've just bought a pile of bricks for 30 quid.

(THEY LAUGH) Oh, come on.

Shall we get off?

Yeah.

We'll go and open the boot.

VO: So the end of an unconventional first day.

Duncan and Phil have stuck to their plan of taking things at a steady pace.

And Simon and James have been haring ahead doing deals left, right and center.

No sign yet who's going to win this race.

So nighty night, boys.

VO: It's the dawn of a new day.

Will Phil finally take Duncan to an antiques shop?

And can Simon keep schmoozing those deals?

He's already feeling wickedly competitive and he's barely had breakfast!

I'm quietly confident.

We've still got money to burn today.

We've bought some stuff yesterday, I mean, masterpieces of art, artifacts, oh, yes.

Art?

I'm not saying any more.

VO: No.

Best not to.

My goal really is just to keep away from antiques shops.

That's the way forward.

I know what you've done.

What?

You've picked something up off the side of the road, or something, haven't you, knowing you.

VO: Well you're not too far wrong.

So far Simon and James have spent £117.50 on four items.

The pastel painting, four cast-iron brackets, the mother-of-pearl snuff box and the enamel patch box.

VO: Duncan and Phil however, have forked out a miserly £45 on two items - a wooden box and a pile of bricks.

VO: So, time for our teams to turn their chariots southeast to Colchester for the next part of this road trip and there's fighting talk in the air.

Right, here we are, day two.

Morning, guys.

JAMES: Morning.

SIMON: How are you?

Morning.

It's a fine day.

Oh, there we are.

Good, so you're going to continue your losing streak, basically, this is the way the strategy's going... Oh, straight in, straight in for the kill.

And, erm, we're going to go on, we've got money to spend and we're going to spend it even more subtly today than yesterday.

Well, like a good drama, Simon, we're accelerating towards a brilliant conclusion.

No overacting, thank you.

VO: In the 1st century AD the Romans established a legionary fortress in Colchester, and anointed the town as the provincial capital of Britain.

There's something about the way they spell "Bitz", B-I-T-Z, that's worrying me.

Right.

Clever use of the language.

Yep.

VO: That's not the half of it.

What's your name?

Bob.

Bob.

Hi Bob.

Oh, Bob, Bitz And Bobs, yeah.

Bitz And Bobs.

You got it.

VO: Bob Cavanagh and his wife have owned this shop for seven years.

Their collection covers everything from Victorian jewelry to stuffed warthogs?

Yeah, we've got work to do here.

Yeah, looking promising.

SIMON: Yeah.

JAMES: Good.

If you wanna catch a big fish.

Oh, yes.

Look at that.

You could get Preston on that.

JAMES: (CHUCKLES) There's Pierce Brosnan, look.

Here we are.

Just get a shot of me and... VO: A striking resemblance!

You're quite Bond-like, actually.

I am.

It's amazing how the role slipped through.

Being a bit of a "bore".

SIMON: Oh.

JAMES: Aw.

VO: Ha!

James has spotted something from his home county of Derbyshire.

It's pastelware 1930s, erm, and made by Denby in Derbyshire.

Would this be hand painted?

Mm.

Hand, hand mol...

The orig...

It's a molded piece, but they're hand decorated and it's part of their range called Danesby Ware.

Erm...so, you know... What will that fetch?

What will that make us?

It should make 30, 35 quid.

VO: That would be a decent profit.

Ticket price is a tenner.

Oh no!

Not another brick!

If only James knew.

Even Philip Serrell would find that interesting.

VO: James you have no idea.

It's a Royal Wedding brick.

Yes.

VO: Commemorating the union of Charles and Diana, made by The London Brick Company in 1981.

We could sell that to Phil.

Yeah.

VO: No need James, he's got that one covered.

Mahjong set.

Really?

1920s.

A complete set.

If you lift the whole thing out, I'll show you.

OK. VO: Although it looks like dominoes, this ancient Chinese game of skill and strategy is more closely related to rummy.

I think that would make about 75, 80 quid at auction.

This'll make about 195 at auction.

VO: James is not convinced.

Anything else, Bob?

What about the, erm...

The Worcester there?

Royal Worcester coffee set.

They sell quite well.

Tell me about this.

It's Royal Worcester, who were one of the best porcelain manufacturers in England.

If they'd been painted with fruit then they'd be £100, £150 a cup and saucer.

But the plain powder blue, that is very difficult to sell at the moment.

So...

But, still very pretty.

It is pretty.

What's the best on the mahjong set?

95.

What do you want to pay for it?

80.

BOB: You've got a deal.

JAMES: Before you shake hands... VO: Crikey!

He bit his hand off!

Quick make the most of it!

Oh, no, he's the expert.

Will you throw that in with it?

Yeah.

You've got it.

Shake the man's hand you've done a deal.

I think that will... VO: That's a 1930s English Denby vase and a Chinese mahjong set for £80.

Well done, boys!

Exit stage right.

VO: Entering stage left are Duncan and Phil who are heading 10 miles south to Britain's most easterly inhabited island and its small town - West Mersea.

This is really nice, I'm glad we came down here.

I've never even heard of Mersea.

No, I haven't either.

VO: Since Roman times it's been famous for oysters, so can our pair find a magic pearl that'll bring them riches at auction?

But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

First thing's first.

Work out where you are, eh?

Is it Mersey or Mersea?

They call it Mersea.

Mersea and is that an island do you think?

VO: Oh, crikey.

Mersea Island, chaps.

The clue's in the name.

Oh, this is lovely.

VO: And wonders will never cease, Duncan and Phil are finally heading to an antiques shop, one with a nautical feel.

Why?

Because Phil's a man with a plan.

Those are quite nice, look.

We've got to think here, haven't we?

We're going to Torquay.

DUNCAN: Yeah.

PHIL: Which is on the coast.

DUNCAN: Yeah.

PHIL: Unless somebody moved it.

Something nautical.

VO: Sounds like a winner.

Do you know what, I sometimes think we might have set ourselves too big a task here by trying to buy stupid things.

No.

And we sort of, we've got our eyes shut to shops like this haven't we?

VO: Really Phil?

I like those.

What about that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

VO: These bronze fittings were screwed to ships' decks next to the cleats, around which the mooring ropes were tied.

They're for ropes off a ship, aren't they?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And there's the rope.

Yeah.

So there's a pair of those.

That's a possibility.

30 quid apiece, so we would need to have a bit of a tickle with the girls on price, wouldn't we?

30 for the pair, isn't it?

Get out of here, it's less than that.

VO: Time to turn the charm on Lynn and Heather, with an offer that will hopefully be music to their ears.

Is it for sale?

Mm, it is for sale.

What made you choose that?

I just like the look of it.

VO: Hold on.

I thought the plan was to go nautical.

Do you know what?

Yeah?

I wouldn't have a clue what that was worth.

VO: Give us a tune Duncan.

# When I'm cleaning windows.

# VO: Oh, lordy!

Can I have a look at the bows please?

VO: Oh, dear, Phil's on the fiddle.

What are you learning there?

Very often you can find a Amati violin that might be worth, I don't know, 30 quid, and everybody forgets the bow.

And the bow could be worth a lot more than the fiddle.

A lot, lot more than the fiddle, and this is a fairly modern, sort of...

There's a Tommy Cooper joke about that here.

Go on, then.

What's that?

Well I was left a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius.

Unfortunately Rembrandt was a terrible violinist... ..and Stradivarius could never paint.

VO: Seems the musical instruments haven't struck the right note.

Time to regroup.

The only thing I think might be... Might have a chance for us is those ships rope tie things, but I think we've got to be quite sort of firm in our price, haven't we?

Yeah, let's be firm, yeah.

VO: So with a ticket price of £30 can the boys tie up a bargain?

I really, really like them.

I do like them and it's just down on price.

And where I'm coming from with them, I think if you put them into auction you'd perhaps estimate, them at, I don't know, 30 to 40 quid, 25 to 45, that sort of area.

If we bought them for 20 quid the two, then if they sell for 30 quid they're going to make like £5 for us.

But I mean, I understand if you say no.

I think there's more in it for you, but, erm... 25.

I think 20 is going to be our best shot, honestly.

Go on then.

PHIL: Are you sure?

LYNN: Yeah.

VO: The old seadog's done it again.

And one of them.

Thank you very much indeed.

Thanks ever so much, girls.

VO: And the deal's sealed with a kiss.

How nice.

Back in Colchester, Simon and James are all spent up, but their hunt for antiques isn't over.

They've come to the home of Gerald Gurney, one of the world's foremost collectors of sporting memorabilia.

There we are.

Mr Gurney, sir, how nice to meet you.

There we are.

I love your doves.

The doves are wonderful, aren't they?

VO: As a former tennis coach, its Gerald's love of racquet sports in particular, that has inspired this collection, built up over 60 years.

And he has some choice items.

This is a Sphairistike box... Oh, yes.

..from 1874.

Oh, look at that.

Golly.

This is one of the original racquets.

Erm, I bought this for £25 on Newmarket racecourse.

One of these rackets, I was there at Christie's, and it sold for 18,500.

Golly!

What have you got there?

This is the... Oh, the net, the net marker.

Very elegant thing, isn't it?

Yep, and look at the scene on the top.

Oh, gosh, yeah.

Yes, he's Victorian, and there he is in his cap.

This is a reproduction one though, isn't it?

GERALD: No.

JAMES: Are you sure?

Yes.

You wouldn't take a tenner for it, then?

Oh!

Oh, it was worth a go!

VO: Cheeky!

In fact, it's worth a lot more.

There are thought to be just two others in the world, and this net measurer is the only one remaining at the original net height of 4 foot 11 inches.

The other two having been cut down to today's net height of three feet, making this one unique.

Gosh.

Brilliant.

I have got to say, I've been pretending I haven't seen it, for the last 10 minutes.

That is fantastic.

VO: It looks like the Ladies' Wimbledon Trophy, but this particular Rosewater dish has never seen Centre Court.

A number of them were made in the 1860s, but only one became the iconic silver trophy we see today.

And you can tell me, is this silver on brass, or silver on copper?

Elkington and Co invented this technique of electroplating in the 1850s, and they have a copper base and they attach a current where the silver attracts to the copper, and this is an example of that, of the Venus Rosewater, isn't it?

VO: And how did Gerald come by this version of the trophy?

Well, it was pure luck.

Some years ago somewhere around Oxford Street, lots of antiques places and I went in and I saw this and it was £60.

I then said to the dealer, "Have you got any more tennis items?"

"Tennis", he said, "What's it got to do with tennis?"

SIMON: Ho, ho, ho, ho.

You got lucky that day.

Wonderful.

VO: Gerald's collection also includes contributions from some unlikely sources.

You may have heard of the dispute relating to Boris Johnson and the game of whiff-waff.

Just remind us about the dispute.

Yeah, cool.

In Beijing he made the statement very firmly that the game of table tennis was first called whiff-waff.

Right.

And he got it wrong.

VO: Indeed renowned sports manufacturer Jacques actually released ping-pong a full nine years before Slazenger invented whiff-waff.

Gerald even wrote to Boris to correct him.

Boris returned the volley.

"Dear Mr Gurney, thank you so much for your letter "and comments about ping-pong, whiff-waff.

"I know I am right."

"Best wishes, yours sincerely, Boris Johnson, Mayor of London."

How wonderful.

That's typical isn't it?

But he's not right?

He is not right.

OK.

He is not right by nine or ten years.

VO: This is one of Gerald's prized possessions.

It used to belong to Fred Perry and there's an unusual story attached to it.

You know that Fred Perry was champion at Wimbledon.

Yeah.

You might not know that he was world champion of table tennis.

Was he?

He was indeed.

He was one of those annoying characters who was good at everything.

So, Budapest 1929.

Is this the actual trophy that he won?

It's the actual trophy that he won.

Wow!

Fred Perry's trophy.

As it is a money-based program, what do you think it would be worth today?

I'm not... That's for you.

Oh... No idea.

This is my most recent find at a boot fair.

It is a ball cleaner, 1887.

Shall we give it a go?

VO: Oh, dear.

You can give it a go if you like.

Do we push?

I don't think you have to press it, actually.

I'm not sure.

VO: Careful James, even the balls are antiques.

It's disappeared altogether now.

Where's it gone?

You've chewed it up into fragments.

Don't tell me that was Fred Perry's ball.

JAMES: (NERVOUS LAUGH) It's an amazing collection.

And I have to say, I have learnt a lot, and I just wish that Boris Johnson might learn a lot as well.

If you're watching, learn, Boris.

VO: Game, set and match to Gerald.

It's been wonderful.

VO: Meanwhile team Duncan have left Mersea Island and are heading back to Colchester for more shopping.

But, back to form, it's not an antiques shop!

Duncan is certainly having an unusual road trip.

This looks really good doesn't it?

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

VO: It's Blackheath Reclamation, run by Terry Apps.

Hi, Terry.

Hi, Duncan.

Duncan.

I know exactly what we want to buy, which is a profit.

I don't care what it is, I want to buy a profit.

VO: Luckily Terry sells everything here, but the kitchen sink.

What about those?

VO: OK. Everything.

What are they made of?

VO: This is Carrara marble from Italy used to make such artistic wonders as Michelangelo's David, or in this case, basins with no plug holes.

And what's the absolute death on these?

The pair, 90.

No.

Let's go and have a look round.

VO: Terry's been in the trade for almost 20 years.

This family-run business started in demolition in 1989, but Terry's love of reclamation has seen the business move into architectural salvage, with a specialty for Tudor items.

You wouldn't believe what we have bought, I promise you.

No.

He's got, he's off the wall...

I must have a warped mind.

VO: You said it Phil, not me.

I don't know what you think, at the minute I am thinking one of those sinks.

One of those sinks?

PHIL: Yeah.

DUNCAN: Yeah.

DUNCAN: The marble ones?

PHIL: Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, there's no doubt who's in charge here.

So how's it going with Phil, Duncan?

Go on, be honest.

I think he is totally barmy and he's picking up things and my sympathies are with the people at the auction getting these things out, like... What's the absolute finito on those?

We've got them at 290.

He has that eye that hones in on things... ..and I am glad he's here.

What do you reckon is the best bet, one of those baths, or the sink?

The sinks.

I know you'll make money on them.

VO: But at £45 for one, is there an offer Terry can't refuse?

How does 30 quid sound?

Oh, get in there.

I've got to shake his hand as well though.

VO: Well at £30 let's hope the people of Torquay want a sink without a hole!

Terry, we need something else!

VO: Uh-oh!

Now what have they spotted?

I love that.

PHIL: Do you?

DUNCAN: Yeah.

I know this is lunacy, isn't it?

VO: Seems they just can't escape the pub!

I love that.

It's plastic, it's not wood.

It's not wood but it's unusual.

PHIL: It's all plastic.

DUNCAN: Is it really?

It's all plastic.

Who do you know who's got a garden that they'd put that in?

You see, that at auction... ..that's 50 to 80 quids worth, isn't it?

Which means we've got to try and buy it at under 50 quid.

What do you think that's going to make at auction?

Truthfully, what do you think?

Exactly what you said.

VO: No need for Terry to do the hard sell here.

He's leaving that to Duncan.

Is there, you don't need to do anything to it.

There's only one bit that you like about it cuz it's a pub.

Yeah, but it's also got something there.

You don't have to... Don't feed me all that... Do not feed me all that flannel.

That has just one interest for you, it's a pub.

No.

Yes.

Let's go and see what else we can find.

I feel a little bit guilty because he's just let me talk and choose things so far and the bad side of that is when it all goes horribly wrong, I'm gonna be the one that's in trouble.

VO: So maybe Phil's going to let Duncan make a decision!

I like that pub sign.

You indicated that you could do a deal for us, didn't you?

On the pub sign.

What's the best you can do that for?

50.

50 quid, OK, we've got to spend...

It's a steal for you.

It is.

It looks as though it is a little bit weathered as well.

You look like that.

PHIL: Yeah, thank you.

DUNCAN: Yeah, well... We'll have the Truman sign, we'll have the Truman sign.

Do you want to stick at that?

Yep.

I'm happy with that.

Go on then, let me pay you.

VO: Job's done.

So that's £30 for the sink and £50 for the pub sign, with the shopping ending in a full circle.

So, what started off in a pub has finished off in us buying a pub sign.

What a lovely story.

You're absolutely right.

I wonder where it, how it sort of...

It must be sort of... What's the word I'm looking for, subconscious.

Yes, must be.

VO: But what will their rivals make of their subconscious choices?

Ha!

Time to show and tell.

It's been a fantastic treasure hunt, hasn't it, but I'm quietly confident that we've got you licked.

You haven't seen anything yet!

I...

I...

I... You can smell it.

(THEY LAUGH) Shall we start?

Look at this, eh.

VO: Curtain up then!

I mean off.

How about that, eh?

So, was she in a lot of pain when that was done?

There we are.

Look at this.

Ah, mahjong.

Yeah.

A bit of Denby.

The snuff box is a beauty.

Ah.

I've seen "e-snuff" of those.

Yeah.

VO: That's "e-snuff" of that!

I don't think you've done well, but you haven't done bad... No, honestly, I'm joking.

I like these.

They're very you.

How much were they?

They were 35 quid.

PHIL: For the four?

JAMES: Yeah.

That's worth the money.

Do you want to see how it's done now?

JAMES: Go on then.

VO: Brace yourselves.

What?

What?

VO: Oddly, James seems at a loss for words.

Have you raided a...

They're stuck for words here.

..a tip pile or something?

You've been to a skip, haven't you?

What?!

SIMON: Skip.

PHIL: What?!

I'm so sad for you.

I've gotta just unwrap this gently.

Oh!

Now what... What's really funny is I stood there and I... Because I'm an expert in this business, and I said "This is probably about 1870".

You did.

You thought possibly 1865.

I thought that.

But I thought...

I was sure, 1870, and then Peter told us he made it six years ago.

Awww!

VO: Yes, maybe the less said the better.

Are you ready?

Look, and learn.

Please.

Are you ready?

Just...

The master.

Dead tree, love it.

No, the master.

Don't you look at our things like that.

Not only have they been buying from pubs, they've tick... they've nicked the sign.

I think that's really rather charming.

Do you know what the best part about it is?

It's all plastic.

It's not wood at all.

What was it you said?

Go for something big.

Yeah.

We couldn't find anything... Yeah.

We couldn't find anything bigger.

So you bought a snuff box?

VO: Ribbing aside, what do they really think?

That's their piece de resistance.

I think that might fly, do you?

When the auctioneer mentions the sign, you shout, "It's plastic"!

Something subtle like that.

Very... Yeah.

Being nice and subtle and fair play and all.

And how do you think they compare with our stuff?

I wouldn't swap any of our bits for their bits, but that's because we bought our bits and they bought their bits.

Yeah, yeah.

I'd like to see that at the bottom of my garden.

I really...

I quite like that and that.

The rest you can keep.

Yeah.

But I honestly think... Oh, this is where I go down in flames, I think we might win this.

Ooh.

VO: Well, we're about to find out Phil!!

Time for our road trippers to hit the tarmac again and bid farewell to Colchester and hello to the English Riviera on the south coast for the auction showdown in Torquay.

So here we are, we're in Torquay at last.

The day of reckoning.

Yeah.

Do you know what, I am not an excitable person, as you've properly gathered, but I've just got a little twittering in my stomach.

VO: Ooh, that sounds uncomfortable.

Are you feeling mildly confident, Mr Lewis?

No.

That's good to hear.

Are you?

Ah, yeah, no, confidence is a... is a recipe for disaster in the saleroom.

VO: Torquay became a fashionable seaside resort in the early 19th century, initially with the navy during the Napoleonic Wars, then with the creme de la creme of Victorian society as the town's fame spread.

SIMON: Good morning, gentlemen.

JAMES: Good morning.

Hey-hey.

Morning, morning, How are you?

Are you alright?

It's good to see you, partner.

Good to see you.

How confident are we feeling?

I think it's in the bag.

I'm quietly worried... Tell him, partner.

It's in the bag.

It's in the bag.

Make a move?

Shall we get in there?

I can't wait.

I can't wait.

Are we off?

Come on then.

VO: West of England Auctions is the venue for today's showdown.

They've been running sales here for over 30 years and Warren Hunt is the man with the gavel.

So what, does he think of the teams' buys?

You've got like a large advertising sign here.

There are still a few publicans around here who do buy these type of things.

The pastel painting is what we would call in the trade "Not a very interesting picture".

It's the wrong subject.

VO: Oh, dear.

Well, looking at the items James has bought I would say he's probably more of a gentleman who likes to have a little gamble on items.

As regard the items Phil has brought, he's got some nice, interesting, collectable items there.

Out of the two I would probably, erm, I would probably go with Phil, because the items he's bought I would say he's used his head more.

VO: So Duncan and Phil's shopping tactics might just have worked!

Both teams started this road trip with £400.

Simon and James spent almost half their budget, picking up five items for a total price of £197.50.

Duncan and Phil also bought five items, but were a little more frugal, managing to splash a mere £145.

We've just bought a pile of bricks for 30 quid!

VO: So let's see who will be facing a standing ovation and who will be playing to an empty house.

VO: First up, Simon and James' pastel of the unhappy girl.

Start me £10?

Ten is bid, thank you.

Can I see 15?

15 is bid.

20, 25?

30?

A new bidder at 30.

35.

40?

£35, can I see 40?

At 35.

If you're all done at three five.

VO: Well done, boys.

That's something to smile about.

Next up it's Duncan and Phil's Jameson whiskey box from the pub!

Ten to start me?

OK I will accept the five.

Can I see six?

And we have a £6 bid.

Seven, eight, nine, ten.

12 madam?

14, 16, 18.

18 new bidder.

20?

At £18.

Can I see 20?

At £18.

Are you all done at 18?

VO: Oh, dear.

After auction costs that wipes out any hope of a celebratory drink!

So can Simon and James' iron brackets do any better?

Start me at £20?

VO: Not what James was looking for.

15 I'll accept.

Can I see 16?

16 is bid, 18.

22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38, 40.

42?

£40.

Are you all done at £40?

VO: Now cheer up James!

It was profit albeit a small one.

Simon and James sneered at this pile of bricks, but will Duncan and Phil build a profit?

It's a nice quality item this is.

That's quite good.

Start me £50?

Start me at 50.

It's got to be worth £50.

You don't see these very often.

30 then?

VO: Uh-oh, it's not looking good.

£20?

I'm going to bid £20 myself because it's worth that all day.

Hey, that's not allowed!

VO: Well, that's unusual, but it is allowed as Warren is buying it for himself!

I've got a bid of 25.

30 with me, 35.

He's bidding on it.

40 with me.

45.

It'll look nice in my garden.

Do you want a beer sign as well?

VO: Don't push it Phil.

45 with me.

Can I see 50?

45.

I am actually buying this at 45.

VO: And the winning bidder is...Warren the auctioneer!

Next the George II mother-of-pearl snuff box.

Can James and Simon sniff out a profit?

Start me at £20?

Oh, what?

VO: £20 James.

That's what!

20's bid.

Can I see 22?

22 to the hand.

24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34.

VO: Oh, Simon's not looking happy.

34, new bidder.

36?

34, at the back of the room, can I see 36?

38.

I've got a new bidder at 40.

£40.

If you are all done at £40?

VO: Crikey it's a profit.

It's nosed ahead.

Now pull yourself together James.

VO: Don't be such a baby.

I want to go home.

Has that made you four quid?

What gets me is you've got two blokes here with approximately about 52 years of experience in the antiques trade, they've had two days, eking out bargains, this, that and t'other from all over the country, and so far we're about £1.40 ahead of the game.

Not very impressive, is it?

Not really.

VO: But be thankful.

It's still a profit!

Top brass next, in the form of these deck fittings.

An auction on the coast should be the place to shift these.

Start me at £20?

20's bid, thank you.

Can I see 22?

22 is bid.

24, 26.

New bidder at 28.

30.

32?

32 with the lady, can I see 34?

Go on!

Are you all done at 32?

VO: With three lots each sold, it's virtually neck and neck for our teams, so with a rub of the green, can the enamel patch box put James and Simon into the lead?

A nice little box this is.

How much did it cost you, James?

120 quid I think it cost, Phil.

120... Was it £400?

VO: Nice try James.

I think he's got 130 pence.

Start me at £30?

VO: Silence.

WARREN: £10?

JAMES: What?

Ten's bid.

Can I see 12?

12 is bid.

14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, 26, 28, 30.

32?

£30.

Can I see 32?

32, new bidder.

34, 36, 38, 40.

42?

£40.

If we're all done at £40?

VO: James may be grim-faced but they've boxed clever to make another profit.

Next it's Duncan and Phil's marble basin.

Let's hope it doesn't sink their profits.

Come on, start me at 20.

15 then.

15 is bid, thank you sir.

Can I see 16?

15 only bid.

I will sell, if you're all done at 15.

VO: Looks like they're all washed up.

It's got to be worth more than that.

Hand carved basin.

£15 then, I will sell if you're all done at 15.

VO: It's that sinking feeling and the first loss of the day.

£15!

Disaster.

Shut up.

Wipe that smile off your face.

Is it plastic?

VO: Meow!

Next Simon and James' mahjong set which they've put with the Denby vase.

Interesting mix.

Oh, that's just gorgeous.

VO: Louder Simon, they didn't hear you at the back!

Start me at £20?

What?

Oh!

Nice mahjong set there.

20 is bid, can I see 22?

22 is bid.

24.

26, 28, 30.

32, 34, 36, 38, 40.

42, 44, 46, 48, 50.

55, sir?

60?

55.

Can I see 60?

55.

Are you all done at £55?

VO: Uh-oh.

It's all gone wrong mahjong.

Another loss.

Last orders everyone, it's the final lot.

Is the pub sign going to prove plastic fantastic?

Start me at £20?

20 is bid, thank you sir.

Can I see 22?

22 Ally?

24, 26, 28... 30, 32, 34, 36.

38?

Are you all finished at 36?

VO: Disaster!

But it's a close call.

Time to phone Road Trip HQ to see who's won.

(PHONE) 'Hello?'

Oh, hang on.

Here we are, on speaker... JAMES: Sorry.

PHIL: Who's won, who's won?

'Well, it's very close.'

OK. What's our profit?

'So, after auction costs, you have lost '£25.30.'

Right.

OK. 'So, Philip and Duncan, you have, erm... 'made a loss of £25.28.

'So, Philip and Duncan are the winners by 2p.'

(THEY LAUGH) You're joking.

VO: So, summing up, after setting off at a roaring pace on this road trip, Simon and James made a conservative loss of £25.30 after auction costs earning them a total of £374.70.

VO: While Duncan and Phil took a more leisurely approach, preferring reclamation yards to antiques shops.

That netted them a loss of £25.28 after costs giving them £374.72 at the finishing line.

And that makes Duncan and Phil the winners by 2p.

Ha!

Can you believe it?

Well done, well done.

I knew we'd win.

I knew we'd win.

Two pence.

I think your bricks won it for you.

2p.

PHIL: I tell you what.

JAMES: That is insane.

Don't feel bad about it, will you?

Oh!

Off we go.

I think they're wrong, I think.

Recalculate, please.

VO: Profits across the series will go to Children In Need.

Time for our guests to take a bow and face the final curtain.

No, so would we rather be an antiques dealer or an actor?

I think they would make far better auctioneers than we would make actors.

I think they could turn their hand to it worryingly easily.

Mind you, we are antiques, well, you are.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know what they'll get for me.

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