VOICEOVER (VO): Some of the nation's favorite celebrities... Sensational!

VO: ..one antiques expert each...

This is Ch'ien-lung.

Ch'ien-lung.

Well done.

VO: ..and one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...

I'm going to kiss you full on the lips when I see you!

VO: ..and auction for a big profit... 55, a new bidder, thank you.

VO: ..further down the road?

Who will spot the good investments?

Who will listen to advice?

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

Time to put your metal to the pedal - this is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Taking the high road today in vintage opulence are two media luvvies who just ooze celebrity appeal, darling.

Like many stars at the top, driving yourself is just not done, so this couple have their own chauffeur - Dennis.

And taking to the road today we've got knight of the realm and veteran TOG of radio and TV, Sir Terry Wogan.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Good evening.

Thank you, thank you.

Oh, steady!

VO: Um... best known for his gentle ways.

TERRY (TW): Just twisting your arm up behind your back here.

Terry, it's actually hurting now.

VO: We've also got actress Caroline Quentin of Kiss Me Kate, Men Behaving Badly and Jonathan Creek fame, who's used to a bit of detective work - ah, that's a big one, Caroline.

CAROLINE (CQ): Look at Charlie!

CHARLIE (CR): Oh my word!

Gorgeous!

VO: This pair of stars are on an antiques road trip, all in the name of Children In Need, and to stop them driving up a blind alley, they have two pillars of the antiques community helping them: Charlie Ross and Charles Hanson.

(CRUNCHING) Oh, don't, don't, don't!

Could we have one change?

(CRUNCHING) CR: Oh, ah!

Ah!

VO: Charles is an auctioneer with a taste for the unusual.

CHARLES (CH): Do you enjoy seafood?

TW: I love seafood.

That looks delicious.

Can I start?

VO: While Charlie, also an auctioneer, prefers something lyrical.

BOTH: # La-oh-oh.

# VO: Oh dear.

Our celebrities have £400 each to spend on antiques, and their mission: to make a profit at auction.

So not surprisingly, they'll stop at nothing to win.

I don't know about you, but it's my intention to drive an extremely hard bargain.

Me too.

When you get the price down, I thought I might be really... what's the word?

A little bit like a Jack Russell and not let go of it.

TW: Tigerish.

CQ: Aha.

VO: This'll be interesting.

VO: During this road trip, Sir Terry and Caroline kick off in Woodstock near Oxford, and travel 60 miles across the Oxfordshire countryside, ending at an auction in Chiswick, London.

CH: Oh wowee!

Morning!

CR: Oh my word!

What a delightful couple they look.

CH: It's a bit bigger than ours, isn't it?

CQ: Comedy!

TW: What a coincidence!

Are you newly married, you two?

Yes we are - you catch us on our honeymoon!

VO: And where better to strike an alliance than Woodstock?

Close to Blenheim Palace, birthplace of Winston Churchill.

Who's with who?

I think we look quite good together because we're both in the pale colors.

What about you, Terry?

You're both dressed for safari.

We are.

And you're both dressed for boating.

Yes.

Despite... despite that blazer of yours, I think we can work together happily.

I'm very happy with that, Charlie.

CR: Caroline?

CQ: Yes?

CR: Melt into my arms.

CQ: Definitely.

And I'll show you a good time.

Yep, very good.

VO: And with an air of knowing what they're doing, Caroline and Charlie head purposefully into Woodstock Arts and Antiques, and proprietor Michael Jackson.

CQ: Lovely to see you.

Charlie Ross, lovely to see you.

I tell you what, Caroline, if you look round and I'll look round, give us a little squeal if you see something you like.

OK. Come on then, Charles.

Look at this.

It's an Aladdin's cave.

Look what I've seen immediately.

It's an original oil painting of a Connemara landscape, west of Ireland.

And I just... What do you think?

Does it take you back to your youth?

CH: To your very young years?

TW: No, no.

Well, yes it does, obviously, it takes me back, back to Ireland, but 56 quid - do you think it's a bargain at that?

It's...

I think it's very decorative.

I think, maybe, it's one to think about.

VO: I think that's a no from you, Charles, isn't it?

I quite like this little squirrel here.

Yeah?

It's a German porcelain squirrel by Ernst Bohne.

VO: Mental note, Charles.

We'll make a little mental note of that one.

And also the Irish picture.

How are you?

Oh, I like that mirror.

It's quite flattering, let me just... adjust my... OK.

It's just part of the furniture here, is it?

Or is it for sale?

It is for sale.

Oh, it's for sale?

It's a 19th century oval gilded mirror.

It could be yours for 155.

We'll think on that.

CH: Mental note.

TW: Little mental note.

I like mental notes, first time I've done it like this.

Yes.

We don't want to overload our mental capacities here.

I'm overloaded already, Terry.

VO: I've got a feeling this is going to take quite some time.

This is a fabulous jug.

Lusterware is usually not marked.

Sometimes it has a mark, but no mark there.

I think Wedgewood started lusterware, and lusterware went on through, right the way through the Victorian period.

They loved this sort of thing.

VO: It's called lusterware for its metallic glaze that gives it an iridescent look, so it appears to change color as you move it around.

Do you love the pink and the price?

Between three and four hundred pounds.

Yeah.

Well, 425.

425, yeah.

Isn't it lovely though?

It's really lovely, but we've got 400 quid.

CR: Oh, you are so level-headed.

CQ: I know.

CR: That's a beautiful, genuine antique, with a lot of history to it.

The sort of thing we should be looking for, but slightly less pricey.

Yeah.

I like that.

The cream pot.

It's got a massive chip in the front, I can see, from here.

Yeah.

Isn't it fun though?

But I still like it.

I do really like it.

Isn't that gorgeous?

Can I come round this side and see it?

Don't you think that's lovely?

I think it's absolutely delightful.

"19th century cream pail.

Very large.

"Maling cream pail, some damage, circa 1900".

VO: Maling pottery was first produced in Sunderland nearly 250 years ago, and tends to be functional pieces like tableware and toilet pans.

I think that's just super.

Yeah, you're not gonna think the price is super, darling.

Am I not?

325.

Oh, Michael knows his stuff, doesn't he?

He does, that's lovely.

VO: With these prices, I feel a serious bit of haggling coming on.

Could you lose yourself for a minute?

Michael, come here.

Michael, come here.

Michael, oh Michael...

I am the expert but I'm not leading this, am I?

I mean, let's face it, Caroline is a thrusty girl and she's taken over.

CQ: I'll leave it with you.

DEALER: Leave it with me.

CQ: Thank you Michael.

DEALER: I shall have a look.

Alright, Michael.

VO: I see.

So Charlie's the expert but Caroline's doing all the haggling.

Any action down the road yet?

CH: There's a 1960s Venetian Murano glass lemonade set.

I've been to Murano.

I've seen them blow the glass, yeah, at Murano.

VO: You'll know then, Terry, that Murano glass is from the Venetian island of Murano, and is best known for its vibrant colors and elaborate designs.

But maybe this more unusual design could swing a profit at auction?

And when it comes to haggling, Sir Terry's approach is more direct.

Hello.

DEALER: I can feel the touch coming on.

CH: Charles and Terry, Terry and Charles.

Just...

I'm just twisting your arm behind your back.

Now look, we're really short of time... Keep smiling, keep smiling - it's the television.

We are getting very desperate now for a purchase.

We do like your very wacky Murano set, don't we, Terry?

Yes we do.

We do.

And we're hoping for a competitive price.

Even with the marks?

Now you must stop wincing just because I'm twisting your arm.

Terry, it's actually hurting now.

It's not meant to hurt, it's just meant to concentrate your mind.

It's an exquisite agony.

Ooh-hoo-hoo!

OK, tell you what - I'll give you the crunch price: DEALER: one hundred... TW: Yes?

..and 10 pounds.

Crunch price.

No hassle.

Terry, I love it.

As a northerner to a... You even get the box.

TW: Say no more.

DEALER: Say no more.

DEALER: Put it there.

TW: It's a done deal.

DEALER: Thank you very much.

CH: A sale, thanks very much.

DEALER: Thank you.

CH: Terry - good work.

Well spotted, well spotted, Charles.

VO: Hooray!

Our first buy.

Down the road, competitive Caroline's squeezing Michael hard, to slash that hefty £425 price tag on the lusterware pot.

And Charlie's been brought back from the wilderness to seal the deal.

You see Michael, if you ever had something here like an opening of something or anything, and you needed someone off the telly to come and cut a ribbon or... Ah!

You know... Loving your vibe.

My services are very expensive!

There's all sorts of deals to be done here Michael.

For £170 plus some sort of charitable services?

Michael, I don't want you to feel I'm putting any unnecessary pressure on you... CR: (LAUGHS) DEALER: We've got it - 180.

CR: 170.

170.

Tell you what, I'll do it for 175, but there's a brooch I want in the window.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

It's not a valuable brooch.

It isn't a valuable brooch, I just love it.

175 with the brooch?

Yeah!

Michael Jackson!

You have won tonight's star prize.

You are absolutely gorgeous.

Michael, I am thrilled with that.

I can't say we're going to make a fortune on it.

But we both like it.

We can put that in the auction proudly.

CH: Here's trouble.

TW: Who are these people?

(HUMS: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly) (GUNSHOT SOUND EFFECT) You turned out to be Clint...

Turned out to be Clint Eastwood.

CQ: Yeah.

CR: Had a successful morning?

CQ: How was it?

CR: Spent your money?

Worrying.

The depth of my TW: ignorance is worrying.

CR: We spent some money.

CQ: Is it?

TW: Yeah.

But I think we got one good thing.

How are you getting on with, er...?

Charlie?

He's, um... Pushy.

He's a tough master.

He's pushy.

He's holding me back.

Caroline is very, very competitive.

Oh really?

We bought something this morning.

I had to go out.

She sent me out of the room.

And she clinched it - well, she literally clinched the shopkeeper.

You're joking.

Which did the business.

We're too genteel for this.

I think we are, really.

I wouldn't, for instance, want to debase myself by throwing myself at someone just to get a few quid off a pot.

Are you going to?

I'm going in this man's... Terry!

Terry!

Come on!

You'll never get a penny off anything!

VO: So with one piece each and some questionable behavior, our pair of luvvies swap shops.

We've had the best bit of stuff in there anyway.

Come on, we'll go down here.

CR: Waste of time.

CQ: Yeah, exactly.

I'm like Terry's hound dog, OK?

I'm the one who will bark... DEALER: Yup.

CH: ..and try and negotiate, CH: and Terry's my finder, OK?

DEALER: OK.

He throws the stone to me, or stick... That's right, yeah.

I'm off Terry, OK?

I'm off.

Carry on.

CH: I'm digging deep for you.

TW: Carry on.

You know, he doesn't do a thing I tell him.

Terry!

Oh, come on then.

VO: At the far end of the shop, hunting hound Hanson has sniffed out this Spode tea set.

Terry, it's hand-enameled, it's gilded, we've got the teapot... We've got everything here.

..the milk jug.

What's this?

Have a guess.

That's the sugar bowl.

What we tend to call a sucrier.

Sucrier and cover.

Ah.

VO: This famous factory of English pottery from Stoke-On-Trent so impressed the Prince of Wales in 1806, that he asked Spode to produce the banqueting service for his coronation as George IV.

Well, if it's good enough for a king, it's good enough for a knight of the realm, eh, Terry?

However, look at that little spout.

It's been riveted.

That's an old restoration.

It's a bit frivolous, it's a bit floral, it's a bit out of vogue.

VO: Er... every reason not to buy it then, Charles.

I can just see those plates with cucumber sandwiches on them... Oh, Terry.

..without any crusts.

Exactly.

It's on at a fair price but I would really try and knock that price down a bit.

Mm.

You're a hard man, I know that, I've learned that over the morning.

Well, Terry, I just feel I've got a duty and honor to serve you, and my duty is to make money for you, sir.

But it's also in your nature to hammer out a hard bargain.

VO: Let's leave master and servant to their tea set.

CQ: Oh it's lovely!

It's a Liberty piece.

CR: I'm glad you didn't go for that.

CQ: Oh, I like that.

VO: Hands off, Caroline - this one's Sir Terry's.

What would you pay for it?

110.

Really?

You must be psychic, because we've just sold it to Sir Terry.

What?!

CQ: You've s... (THEY CHUCKLE) That is Sir Terry's?

What did he pay for it?

I can't possibly say.

Oh go on!

Oh, you've gotta tell me!

Well I said a hundred... No, I've got to remember - 110.

CR: You think there's a profit in that?

CQ: Yeah.

You don't, Charlie, you don't.

I think it's quite west London.

I do.

Don't tell me we've gone too traditional?

No, we're alright.

Hello.

We are admiring your mantelpiece, but more so the tea set upon it.

What's the very, very, very, very best?

Go on, go on.

110.

I can't do better than that.

Is there anything else, sir, you can recommend to my good friend Terry?

DEALER: I have.

VO: Excellent.

A piece of art deco, eh?

A bit better than that Spode, surely?

Have a feel, Terry.

Feel it and believe it.

Well you see...

I don't know anything about this kind of thing.

What do you know about it?

CH: Is it by Charlotte Rhead?

Absolutely.

And signed.

CH: Terry, have you heard of Clarice Cliff?

Yes I have, we have some at home.

Wonderful.

Well, this lady, called Charlotte Rhead, was really on a par to Suzy Cooper, and they were three very important, influential ladies, very attractive ladies in their day, who were forward thinking in taking the ceramic industry away from all things which had gone before.

They were very radical in their designs.

VO: OK, Charles - time to go in for the kill.

£50 will buy that.

We'll call it 150 for the two.

I think that sounds like a good deal to me.

CH: I would love to buy that set, but I would need to spend about £80 on it.

Is that really, really mean?

DEALER: Yeah.

CH: Really, really mean?

DEALER: Totally ridiculous.

CH: Am I walking away?

The absolute best is 110?

No, we've already come down a hundred... it's 140.

The best was 150, you've said... 40 for that.

You've got 40 on this, 100 on that, 140.

CH: That's even lower, Terry.

DEALER: You're there.

But that is it.

VO: You heard the man.

CH: Well I would say, Terry... TW: It's a deal.

..we're in it together.

We'll buy it together.

TW: Put it there.

CH: Thank you very much.

VO: Well, not really Charles.

You might think we were all created equally, but when it comes down to it, some are more equal than others.

With Woodstock behind them, our couples make a short sprint south to the city of dreaming spires, Oxford.

I've negotiated with some pretty tough nuts in my time, but you are the bizzo.

Thanks, Charles!

I cannot wait to get to Oxford...

Thank you.

..and see you rip off some poor old man in the middle of Oxford.

CQ: (LAUGHS) VO: Oxford, home to the venerable university for 800 years, has turned out some 26 prime ministers, 47 Nobel prize winners and at least 12 saints.

Alas, there's nothing heavenly about the way this couple are behaving.

God, you're lovely!

That wonderful Sherlock Holmesian item.

That's hilarious.

Do you like that?

What did it remind you of, Caroline?

It reminded me of Jonathan Creek.

Jonathan Creek!

Very good.

Well, I could get...

It's good actually, it's really good.

It's not old though, is it?

It's got age.

I reckon... Has it?

Really?

It's certainly Edwardian, I think.

You look at that brass collar CR: and that handle.

CQ: Really Charlie?

I can't pay £38 for it though.

No, no, I'm not suggesting you pay anything like 38 quid, but don't you think that's a fun thing?

I lo...

It actually makes me really laugh.

Come on, come on, so... Should I go on the pavement again?

Get out.

VO: Off he goes again - look.

Who does this be...?

Is it not yours, then, to sell?

DEALER: Not mine.

CQ: Whose is it?

DEALER: It's Andrew's.

CQ: Have you got his number?

You say it's lovely to talk to me now, Andrew, but when I've told you what I'm going to tell you, you won't say it's lovely.

I really like the big viewer, and you've got it at £38, which is way out of my budget.

How many?

Not 22?

23?

I love you, Andrew!

And when I come back to Oxford, I am going to kiss you full on the lips when I see you.

VO: Oh, promises, promises.

Great!

Are you pleased?

I'm actually delighted.

Goody.

I'm going to take you to Tetsworth now.

OK. Where you can work your magic again.

CQ: Alright, darling.

CR: Come on.

VO: Oh Charlie, you smoothie.

You do know how to show a girl a good time.

VO: As Team Quentin heads off into the sunset in search of fresh pickings, Sir Terry's keen to educate his young charge about something that's, well, closer to his broadcasting heart.

With a spring in their step, they head for the Museum of the History of Science, for a tutorial on Marconi... ..the father of wireless broadcasting.

And taking the lesson is museum director Jim Bennett.

Jim.

JIM: Very good to meet you.

TW: My dear fellow.

Welcome to the Museum of the History of Science.

Tremendous.

You're going to show us the way?

It's wonderful, yeah.

VO: Born in Italy in 1874, Marconi's early work involved finding ways of sending telegraphic messages in Morse code without using cables, hence the word "wireless".

Well, Marconi came to England with his wireless idea in 1896.

Developments have been extraordinary.

First of all, sending signals across the channel, then across the Atlantic, and communicating with ships - that's the big development there.

So you can have radio operators on ships.

And then of course, famously, with the Titanic, you have the radio operators on Titanic...

Yes.

..sending messages, while the ship is sinking, to nearby ships...

Correct.

..and calling for help and so on.

So the 700 or so people who are saved were due to Marconi's radio.

VO: However, it wasn't until the onset of World War I that Marconi developed radio for broadcast, by using wireless technology to transmit speech, as well as Morse code.

One of the things we have here is a microphone that Dame Nellie Melba used when he set up the very first live radio music broadcast.

Of course, Melba was a great star, you know, world's most famous soprano.

You could never get a ticket to see Melba, you can't afford one, even if you could get one, but Marconi, his stunt was to bring Melba into your living room.

(RECORDING OF MELBA SINGING ) They realized this was an important moment in the history of radio, because if you look at this, you can see that after the famous broadcast, Melba has signed it.

1920.

"Nellie Melba, 1920."

VO: By 1922, the era of broadcasting to the home - first by radio and, later, television - had begun.

Initially, the Post Office regulated broadcast licenses, until finally they came together under the British Broadcasting Corporation, or BBC.

And Marconi would produce these himself?

Yeah, in his factory.

But I see there's a BBC logo up there as well?

Yes, there were radios that were compatible with the BBC system, so having the BBC sign there meant that you had the right sort of radio for BBC listening.

Terry, what do you prefer: would it be television now or radio back then?

I think, at any time, radio is a slightly more satisfactory medium as a presenter.

Do you feel closer to your audience?

Yeah.

That's what you try and do on radio, is create, if you like, a kind of little club.

Radio is not about an audience.

Radio is about individuals listening.

One or two people at most.

The audience is a theatrical concept, but radio is about, almost, a one to one communication.

VO: Well, this is telly, Tel!

And it waits for no man.

VO: Meanwhile, Caroline and Charlie are heading southeast to Tetsworth, for one final shop of the day.

If only the owner of this rural retreat knew what was about to hit him.

Willy, I'd like you to meet Caroline Quentin.

Hello, Willy, lovely to meet you.

Thank you for coming along.

I'm just thrilled to be here.

CQ: Single wishbone back chair, usually oak, but I think this might be Pugin.

Gothic detail.

I don't think we can afford this though, because it's £26,000.

VO: Not even cutting a ribbon or giving a kiss will get you that one, Caroline.

Alternatively... Whitefriars started in the 19th century.

Yeah.

And we think of Whitefriars being 1950s, 60s.

VO: Whitefriars glass - so called because the factory was in the Whitefriars area of London - dates back to 1834.

Starting as stained glass manufacturers, over the years designers have moved to tableware and textured glass.

It's the most beautiful, beautiful object.

It's got a fabulous color to it.

Look at the way the color changes as the light changes.

VO: I think that's given Caroline an idea.

What about best price on the decanter there, Willy?

Ah, now that's a pretty rare one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Barnaby Powell, 1932.

285.

CQ: Yeah.

WILLY: Er...

Probably bought that alright.

195... to you.

I think that's almost exactly what I've got left.

VO: Ooh!

Bit steep.

What about the glasses?

You know, you could buy a couple of these on top.

VO: On top?

It would take my set down to eight but it would show the decanter off, wouldn't it?

Yeah.

But I don't know, how much would they cost?

Two for 20, to you.

I need to talk to Charlie about this.

I can't make the decision on my own, it's too scary.

Have you tried offering Willy £20 for two of the glasses without the decanter?

No, it hadn't occurred to me.

Really?

Willy, would you take 20 quid?

I've just had an idea!

I just got it!

I don't know how I come up with this stuff!

I've been a dealer, an auctioneer for years.

Would you sell me two of the glasses for £20 on their own?

Yeah, I would, because we don't go back on our prices.

Oh!

VO: And the girl does it again.

Done your shopping.

Yep.

Well done, Charlie.

VO: I don't know about them, but I'm exhausted after seeing the antics of our teams.

Can't think what tomorrow will bring.

It's a new dawn, and our celebrities are ready for another day of antiques foraging.

Already on this road trip they've been to Woodstock and Oxford.

Now they're heading for Wallingford before the auction in Chiswick.

So far, Sir Terry and his underling Charles have spent £250 on three items - Murano glass, the Spode tea set and the Charlotte Rhead plate.

They still have £150 left but Team Hanson won't be putting their feet up.

Well, not both pairs, anyway.

Caroline and comrade in arms Charlie Ross have parted with £218 and bought three items: a Sunderland lusterware pot, a giant magnifying glass and two Whitefriars tumblers - leaving them a generous £182.

How are you coping with the legend that is Terry Wogan?

Well, it's like his personal fag, and in fact, I was a hound dog, bidding and buying items, but I think more so, Charlie, he is such a nice man.

TW: Were you reduced to physical violence at any point?

No, I found emotional blackmail to be absolutely my best weapon.

Ah, the old female... the old female trick, eh?!

Yeah, you know it!

Did you burst into...?

Big ploppy tears.

(THEY CHUCKLE) I did not, I left all the evilness and the ugliness to Charles, because it suits him better.

You're so right.

VO: With all to play for, our celebrity road trippers and experts hit the town of Wallingford, a pleasant market town famed as a location for Midsomer Murders.

Oh, look.

Oh, look at the... May I try an olive, sir?

Of course you can.

CR: Thank you.

Oh, man... TW: Don't give them stuff for nothing!

CQ: Oh that's lovely, they're delicious.

TW: You're ruining your market!

VO: And with money still burning a hole in their pockets, it's time for both teams to... get a move on.

Terry, I quite like this vase.

You...

It's, would you say Chinese, Japanese?

Terry, you're quite right, this is a Chinese export vase.

It's got a bit of a chip on.

VO: Damage?

Ooh, nasty.

And this vase is in what we call the Famille-rose palette of colors, with the chrysanthemums.

You've heard of Ming?

I've heard of Tang.

Song?

Chung?

Chung, yeah.

This, I think, is Ch'ien-Lung.

Ch'ien-Lu... Well done.

I would, Terry, if this came into my saleroom, estimate it to fetch between 100 and 150.

There's no way you could do it for £100?

DEALER: No.

(GAVEL) No way, Jose?

DEALER: No, no.

CH: No.

I mean, I could burst into tears and fling myself at your mercy.

Do you want to try it?

No!

No, it's too undignified.

OK. And the absolute best is...?

120.

CH: Thank you ever so much.

TW: Thank you.

VO: It seems Team Wogan and Hanson are back to just thinking.

Ah well.

But nearby, Terry spots a £45 inkwell: silver-plated, arts and crafts, and with a touch of the Rennie Mackintosh about it.

CH: Terry, why does that appeal to you?

I don't know.

Just saw it when I came in, and it gleamed at me.

Yes.

Yeah.

Good object.

VO: Seems our celebs are getting the hang of this antiques lark.

Feel up to a bit of haggling now, Sir Terry?

Oh, go on.

Theoretically, all that I've left is 30 quid.

Well, it came in with something else, and... um...

I've already sold that.

OK, 30.

Thank you!

It's a deal.

Superb!

It's a deal.

VO: Ah.

Just to explain the money... 30 smackers.

VO: ..they have £150.

Thanks again.

Thank you.

VO: The vase is £120, leaving £30, except they haven't bought the vase yet.

Should we close this deal?

Give me half an hour, let me run round.

You have a sit down now, and I'll bring everything to you.

Fair enough-ski.

CH: Is that OK with you?

TW: You're the man.

OK.

I'll see you shortly, Terry.

Carry on.

Shall I go upstairs first?

Wherever your trained senses lead you.

OK. (HUMMING) CR: # Give me your hand my darling.

# Ooh!

We've been caught in the act!

The lunatics have taken over the asylum!

(THEY LAUGH) Guard!

Nurse!

And I thought we'd got away with it.

I know.

Actually, that's a very nice music stand.

We like this.

We think the people of Chiswick might care for this.

We just think that the people of Chiswick, with young children, learning the violin - there's nothing worse than hearing somebody learn the violin, is there?

My son is learning the violin.

It's unspeakable.

Pat, just come down here with me a minute.

Sit on my knee.

Go on, go on.

VO: Your turn, Charlie, to flutter those eyelashes.

We want to buy that for 50 quid.

Oh, I bet you do.

I could do it for 60 - as it's you, Charlie, and for no other reason.

CQ: But what about me?

CR: I've had the... Oh, er, you... CQ: 80 quid!

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Meanwhile, upstairs Charles is working hard for his master, who's not working hard.

What... What have you got?

Terry, these are Beswick flying seagulls.

Do you like them?

They're, as you know, quite sophisticated people of the world in Chiswick...

Yes.

..and they would equate that with ducks flying up the wall.

Chintzy.

A little bit sort of 1950s.

I think you're right Terry.

Not good enough.

CH: I'll see you later.

TW: Take your seagulls away.

Pretty soon now, my man will come in with some antiques with which he will try and impress me, and I will doubtless reject him.

Do you enjoy seafood?

I love seafood.

That looks delicious.

Can I start?

This is real history.

This object really was inspired by the great Italian Renaissance potters of the 15th and 14th centuries.

Don't be ridiculous.

It's not my favorite thing.

No.

Good effort.

Lunch?

Ooh, if we could have that in reality, that'd be fine, wouldn't it?

OK.

Thank you.

Good man.

Good man.

Done it again.

How does he do that?

Terry, I'm a mystical man, and these conjure up that Chinese vase we saw a short while ago.

TW: How much do you think they would sell for?

CH: I could see them, Terry, making about £40.

We'd pay 30 quid for them.

CH: £10.

TW: £10.

£10 no use to me.

Terry, I think we're thinking the same sort of thing: how about the Chinese vase we saw earlier on?

VO: Finally, a decision.

The damaged Ch'ien-lung it is.

Be it on your head though, Charles.

Thank you very much.

It's a great pleasure.

And we'll take it to the Chiswick auction room and hopefully it will turn out to be a lost treasure, and we'll make millions.

DEALER: Hope so.

Try and be a bit more confident.

Sorry, sorry!

Yes, no!

VO: So, with their shopping done... Caroline and Charles take a short break and go Buckinghamshire bound to Hughendon Manor... once country retreat of prime minister Benjamin Disraeli, and on hand to reveal its secrets is Nicholas Witherick.

Welcome to Hughendon.

CR: Caroline Quentin.

CQ: Hello!

NICHOLAS (NW): Hello Caroline, nice to meet you.

CQ: Lovely to meet you too.

NW: Welcome.

VO: There's been a manor on this site since... oh, I don't know, yonks ago.

Around the Norman conquest time.

But this present stately pile is quite a youngster - more 18th century, with some remodeling in Victorian times.

It was here that Disraeli entertained the great and the good when he became prime minister in 1874, and in particular, his biggest fan.

Queen Victoria came here.

Did she?

An unprecedented visit of a monarch to a sitting prime minister, visiting his private residence.

That fantastic picture between the two windows of Queen Victoria, painted by her favorite artist, von Angeli, and this is a copy.

The original hangs in Windsor, and she liked it so much, she presented Disraeli with this copy and it shows that it was a gift from her from the crown on top of the frame.

CQ: Oh, OK, yeah, I see.

Oh, that's great.

So did she actually sit down for dinner in this room?

She did.

She came here for lunch with Princess Beatrice.

She sat in this chair here, and we know it was this chair because Disraeli had an inch and a half shaved off the legs of that chair.

Being a very small lady, he wanted her feet to be firmly placed on the floor.

CQ: Oh my God, that's adorable!

So it's different... oh, it is, I can tell!

It is, you can see that.

I mean, how remarkable to do that to one chair when you have a set of what was probably a dozen.

12 chairs.

Yeah, a dozen chairs, and to a purist you think, "Hang on, you've wrecked the whole set doing that!"

Yeah.

What would you have done, Charlie?

Cut some holes in the floor?

I'd have got another chair for her.

CQ: (LAUGHS) Were they really good friends, then?

Extremely close friends.

She described him as her closest friend and her favorite prime minister.

Oh my God, that's incredible.

VO: The manor is best known for its famous political resident - that is, until very recently.

Only by accident was this, Disraeli's ice house, found to be more than it seemed.

During the Second World War, these two rooms... CQ: Oh, wow!

NW: ..were key to the war effort, and this half of the ice house, Disraeli's ice house, was a mess room for six guys who lived and worked in here, called the Ice House Boys.

CQ: What were they doing here?

They were developing maps for the bombing raids of the Second World War.

So this side of the ice house was the operational side.

And this was key to the war effort, this was all about producing maps onto slides, photographing maps that had been hand drawn in the manor by about 100 people.

This primitive camera here would produce up to 200 slides a day of hand drawn maps that were put onto glass slides and distributed from here to the South East England airfield.

Vital, vital work, and you didn't discover this - well, not you, but it wasn't discovered until...?

2005.

When a chap called Victor Gregory, who worked here during the war, came back with his grandson... Yeah.

..and began to tell his grandson about the story, and one of our room guides overheard him and began to question him.

How amazing that he hadn't written a book about it.

Nope.

And no research had been done up until that point.

So was that... That was covered by the Official Secrets Act, was it?

It was, and we applied, and that was lifted and research began.

These are original photographs.

They show Hughendon whilst it was occupied by the RAF.

CQ: Amazing, look at these little happy... band.

CR: Yeah.

NW: The camaraderie on the estate must have been amazing.

Quite extraordinary.

They produced a newspaper called the Hillside Herald, which went out across the estate, and we have some originals here that show you a typical wartime witty newspaper.

This depicts the guys that used to live in the ice house, they were known as the Ice House Boys, and they did all the work here.

Yeah, look, someone is a seal, and someone's shooting, with an igloo, and some with champagne, Eskimos, penguins.

I read somewhere that Hitler had discovered that this was here and tried to bomb it?

He did, Hitler had the same intelligence system as we had here in Britain, and story has it that a German aircraft was shot out the sky over Britain, and in the boot of the airman was found this list of sites... Oh, my goodness me.

..that was to be bombed, and at the top of that list, crossed here, is High Wickham, Schloss Hughendon, which is Hughendon Castle, he referred to it as.

How close did he get?

About a mile and a half.

The bomb dropped and blew the windows out the church, but they never found Hughendon.

We're surrounded by 750 acres of woodland from here.

CR: Yeah, yeah.

NW: So an incredible historical document.

That is.

VO: For our celebrities, the war is over.

Time for them to head back to Wallingford, and show each other their wares.

Do the honors, Charlie.

Oh.

Oh, it's back to front.

Of course - it's a mangle.

It's a late Victorian music stand.

I see it.

It's not a tremendously useful object.

I think it's a nice piece of furniture.

Good.

It would sit well in a person's room.

CH: What's it gonna fetch in a saleroom?

TW: I'd say it might fetch around about 300 quid.

CH: I'm gonna say at auction, between, Caroline - come on - 50 and £80.

That's OK. Yep.

That's fine.

Well, we paid £60 for it.

60 quid.

Very good.

OK, I take back my estimate.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: OK Charles, hit them with the Murano glass.

CQ: I adore it.

And we know what it cost.

Do you know why?

CQ: I made them an offer.

CR: Cuz Caroline said, "I'll give you £110" and the man said to her, "You must be psychic," so I suggest that you paid 110.

VO: Wow, that psychic stuff really works!

Go on Caroline - show them your big one.

I mean, a mere slip at £23.

TW: Oh my God!

CH: Wow!

It's not going to sell on the basis of age.

I know, I know what you mean.

No.

It's going to sell on the basis of novelty.

Yes.

And it's going to sell because it's amusing.

I think you'll get 40 quid for it.

CR: We'd be happy with that.

Yeah.

Do you know I'm seeing you for the first time as you really are?

I was beavering away, and Terry and myself, we came across this.

I like it.

Yeah, I quite like it.

Let me look?

I like it too, because - why do we like it?

It's painted by a wonderful lady called Charlotte Rhead.

It is, Charlotte Rhead.

Oh my God!

CR: Charlotte Rhead.

CQ: Didn't see that.

Cost us £40.

Double your money.

VO: Wished you'd spotted that one too, hey?

Still Charlie, you've still got the Whitefriars.

Well, a bit of it.

We couldn't afford the decanter but we loved the glasses.

I think they're very pretty but it's a shame that you only got two of them.

Yeah.

They're great, I love them.

They wouldn't have been very expensive.

They were 20 quid.

This wonderful tea set was made in circa 1806.

CR: Do you know what I like about it?

CH: What?

CR: The gilding is superb.

I like it, really, and I love the painting generally, I think the flowers are beautiful on it.

CH: What's it worth?

Erm... £78.

VO: Guess again?

110.

We paid... Are you ready for this Caroline?

£100.

CR: Great shaped teapot, Charles.

CQ: It might go like a dream.

CH: Yeah.

VO: You're not convinced, Caroline.

Now, a traditional antique.

CH: Oh that's very good.

TW: That's very good.

I can see the ticket price, 425.

Tell me what it cost you.

CR: 175.

CH: And that's... Gaw!

You battered the man into submission.

CQ: I did, I'm afraid.

In fairness, it's the hardest afternoon's work I've ever done.

CR: What's it worth?

Between 250 and 350.

Lovely, lovely object.

VO: No doubt he likes it, but Charles, you've got your own lovely, lovely, at just £30.

The hinged lid is there for your little inkwell, like so.

CQ: Lovely.

CR: It's without doubt my favorite item of yours.

CH: Is it really?

CR: Without doubt.

VO: Don't be taken in boys - Caroline's got a last trick up her sleeve: three freebies and two for £17.

Bargain jewelry picked up along the way.

Bridge player's bracelet, which is made of aluminum.

I hadn't realized you were such a cheapskate until now.

CQ: Did you not?

I'm well known for it.

CH: Very nice lot, Caroline.

CQ: Thank you darling.

CR: For £17.

TW: 17 whole quid, eh?

CR: Yeah.

CQ: What do you reckon, think I'll make anything on it, Charles?

Oh yeah, you've got retro here, you've got a wonderful '70s forward-thinking brooch there.

Do you reckon I might get 25 quid out of that?

I think that lot will make about £40.

Really?

Oh, I'd love that.

VO: But the boys are fighting back.

(THEY EXCLAIM) CR: We've gone to the Orient at last.

I knew he would.

CH: It's just a truly magnificent Chinese vase, and the best of its type that would have come out from the Far East in probably the late Ch'ien-lung.

Ch'ien-lung.

We love it.

Sir Terry and myself are gambling hard that this might just see a really good yield.

What'd it cost?

100 quid?

TW: 120.

Well bought.

You've been fantastic with your buying, because you've really bought such a range of items, haven't you?

Don't sell yourself short, Charlie.

No brooches.

But you haven't done quite as well as we have.

Not a single brooch in any of your lots, which I think's a mistake.

VO: Ah - haven't they been so nice to each other?

But what do they really think?

The only lot that's slightly risky is the Chinese vase.

The whole thing is gonna revolve - their Chinese vase and our Sunderland luster jug.

Oh, there's no contest there.

It's a no-brainer, baby.

I'm not so sure about the music stand, but as a nice piece of furniture it's OK.

It'll be interesting to see what that makes.

Yeah.

I think it's a real eclectic mix of all sorts, and if one thing fails, the other will succeed, so it's gonna be a great ride at the auction.

VO: Well, let's see - it's auction day and our four road trippers head 41 miles southeast to the Chiswick Auctions in London for their final showdown.

OK, do you want a coffee before we start?

Certainly not.

A hot dog?

It's my pre-match nerves.

It's the calm... CQ: Where's my Caroline?

CH: ..before the storm.

CQ: Hello!

CR: Hello!

CQ: Hello darling.

CR: How are you?

CQ: Morning.

Are you excited?

CR: Are you nervous?

Yes, I am a bit nervous, actually.

I never thought she'd have the nerve to turn up after the kind of purchases you've made.

VO: Chiswick Auctions has been running since 1998 - hardly an antique themselves, but still masters in the field, and today, wielding the gavel is Tom Keane.

£20 for it?

Bid at £20.

22.

At £20.

Two.

25...

I'm really concerned about Terry and Charles's Chinese vase.

We get loads and loads of Chinese buyers here.

They don't like buying things with damage on them.

If they get 40 or £50 for that they're gonna do well.

I think Caroline and Charlie's been pretty clever today, because Charlie's advised her to buy some lower priced lots and some sort of impressive items, so they've got some dead cert birds there that will definitely get them a profit.

VO: Team Quentin started today's road trip with £400, and spent just £295 on five auction lots.

Whilst Team Wogan also began with £400, and have spent the whole lot of lolly, also on five auction lots.

VO: As experts and celebrities cozy up on the sofa, all is calm and orderly in the auction room, just as it should be, but something tells me this is going to be one bumpy ride, so hold on to your seats.

VO: Ready?

First lot... Charles and Caroline's late Victorian music stand.

Quite a nice thing.

Is that worth £100 for it?

£50 for it?

VO: Uh-oh - we're barely into the auction, and competitive Caroline is on her feet.

Will this woman stop at nothing to win?

55, 58, 60, two, five, eight, 70, two, five, eight, eight.

85 now, 85.

90.

90, 95, 100, and five, 110.

£105, take 110, £105, at £105, we are at 105, take 110 for it.

£105, a bid over there £105, take 110 for it, £105, 105 all done.

All done at 105 and going.

105.

CQ: Thank you very much sir, you're marvelous.

It's worth it, it's a beautiful thing.

Well done.

VO: Oh hold on, now what's she doing?

Take it from me, kissing the winning bidder isn't part of the normal auction protocol.

But then, who said this is going to be normal?

Fantastic.

Well done, great, thank you.

VO: Well, fair play - she did squeeze out a juicy profit on that.

VO: Ready for the two Whitefriars glasses, Caroline?

£20 here with me now, £20.

Worth more.

£10.

£10, somebody give me 10?

I'm bid at 10, anybody give me 12?

A bidder at 10, give me 12, at £10.

Caroline, you're the magic, you're the magic.

Just get them sold, Tom.

They're worth more than that.

Thank you.

14, 14.

16.

16, 18.

At £16 in front of me, £16, at 18, at £16 are we done?

No more?

Any more?

Any more for any more on that, please?

I'm gonna make a loss on these and I really can't bear it.

TW: Don't cheapen yourself!

VO: Here she comes again.

Now don't be alarmed viewers, this is definitely not normal auction behavior.

24, 26, 28?

At £26, all done at £26 and going for £26.

It's getting a bit shameless now.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

VO: Oh, I don't like the sound of that.

Our first couple have cleared the starting gate.

So can Terry and Charles get off the blocks with this inkwell?

Here we go, and what's it worth?

Is it worth £50 for it?

£30 for it, come on.

VO: Hang on, where's Sir Terry gone?

I don't believe it - he's touting the inkwell around now.

42, 45, at £42 bid, at 42, at 45, 45, 48, 48, 50, 52.

TW: I haven't seen any bidding from that corner at all!

VO: Anyone would think this is a bring and buy sale - it's an auction, man!

55, 58.

TW: Rennie Mackintosh!

TOM: 72.

TW: Rennie Mackintosh!

TOM: 72, 75, 78.

TW: Mmm-mmm!

VO: And I don't think magic's gonna help you here.

I'm bid 78, want 80, want £80, bid £80.

At 82.

Gimme 83 if it helps you, 83.

83, 84.

84.

85?

I like this man.

I'm picking on you.

85, 86.

86, 87.

£86 bid, £86 now.

Are we done at £86?

Gonna go.

Done at £86, going once, 86.

Done for 86 and gone.

Last chance.

£86.

(APPLAUSE) CH: Well done.

CR: Very good.

CR: 56.

Brilliant.

I think they're sort of... they're sorry for me, that's why they're doing it.

VO: Or they just wanted you to sit down.

But that magnificent profit has put you in the lead, Sir Terry.

VO: Next, Caroline's brooches and bracelet.

The jewelry, start me here, £20 for it.

They're lovely, I'm going to show you them, because they are lovely, I chose all of these myself.

I don't want you to just give them away.

VO: I don't believe it - they're all at it now.

Where's Terry going?

The loo?

That's a nice '50s bracelet, and it's got...

Being shown live in the auction room right now.

VO: Surely Charlie will rein her in?

CH: Is she your lady?

She's my lady.

I chose well, didn't I?

VO: Maybe not.

So that's the lot.

Thank you very much, I shall see you shortly.

Excuse me, excuse me, come back here.

TOM: Come over here.

CQ: Yeah.

You might as well do the whole lot.

Oh no!

I don't know how to... VO: Oh, now what's going on?!

He's going to ask her...!

CR: Come on, Caroline!

You can do it!

VO: She's on the rostrum.

CQ: OK, what do I say?

Bid at £20, you have a bid at £20.

I have a bid of £20 here, thank you, sir.

TOM: 22.

CQ: 22.

TOM: 25.

CQ: 25.

Aren't you going up higher than that?

28.

VO: This is unheard of.

30.

Lady there.

32.

35, thank you, madam!

In front of you, £40.

40!

Oh!

VO: But come to think of it, she's not doing too badly.

Bit shrieky.

50?!

50 sir, thank you.

CH: I can't believe it.

CR: What do you think?

£60 sir, thank you.

Oh, sorry, out.

Any more...?

She's the best auctioneer I've ever seen in my life.

65?

What?

£100.

£100?!

Are we all finished at £100?

Going, going, gone.

Thank you very much!

You're welcome.

Thank you very much.

Do another one - I'll do it again!

I've got plenty more coming up, sir.

VO: £100 for those?

Anyone would have thought this is for charity.

Oh, yes, it is.

Still, that puts Team Quentin straight in the lead.

Loved it.

The power.

VO: I wonder how Team Wogan will top Caroline's performance?

Next up...

This is a Crown Ducal art deco pottery plate, signed Charlotte Rhead.

VO: Well, say no more.

Now Caroline's had a go, so Terry's not missing a chance either, and he's got Charles doing the legwork.

Don't let that... £50.

TOM: You've got a bidder at £50.

TW: £50.

Charles Hanson showing, don't let that put you off.

Who'll give me 60 for it?

£60?

We need to do better than that.

You've got 60.

60, £60.

Have we got 65?

Is that a 65, sir?

That's a 70.

It's a 70.

Oh!

We like that.

My dear fellow, thank you very much.

After 72 now then.

Could we go for 72?

72... 75.

£75 to the good gentleman.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Well done.

Well done.

VO: Handled masterfully, Sir Terry.

How did that feel to you?

On that rostrum, in control.

I felt a complete eejit, standing there.

VO: Well, not bad for a beginner, but even with that profit, Sir Terry is lagging behind.

VO: Next, the Quentin magnifying glass, and Caroline's back on her feet.

TOM: Big magnifying glass.

CQ: I'm not coming up, Tom, but I just think I should show people...

I think you should.

..in case anyone doesn't know how a magnifying glass works.

VO: And she's at it again.

But at least the auctioneer is back in control - for now.

It's lovely, isn't it?

He's put two stone on!

Sorry, I beg your pardon.

No, you carry on, it's alright.

Who wants to bid for this?

Start the bidding somebody, please.

What's it worth, £50 for it?

£50 for it.

£20 for it, here it goes.

Bid at £20, 22, 25, 25, 28, 30, 32, 35, 38, 40, 42, 42, 45, 45, 48, 50, two.

At £52 bid there, at 52, 55, a new bidder, thank you.

55, 58.

£55, are we done at 55?

VO: Looks like Caroline's ground work has paid off.

Mm, bidder thinks so too.

Fantastic.

You're the best.

You are the best.

TW: What a woman.

VO: Next, the Spode tea set.

Can Sir Terry and Charles come back from behind with this one?

It seems the auction rulebook's been well and truly binned, so what's the plan, boys?

Charles?

Auctioning?

You should know better - you're not in charge.

Though at least he IS a professional.

Let's go, start me off, do I see £50?

Come on, let's see £50, I'll take 50, I'll take to start me.

55, 60, 70, 80, 90, sir.

Look at me!

At £100, 110.

Come on, sir.

He's gone mad.

He's gone mad.

105, I've got you, madam.

CQ: Thank you madam!

110, sir!

115, 120.

Look at me.

"No", he says!

Look at me, sir - one more!

TW: I think it's looking at you that's putting them off!

Thanks mate(!)

125 sir!

Fair warning, you're all out to a lady who is standing and very, very content at £120, going, going, going, gone.

Thank you very much, thank you very much.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) TOM: Well done, Charles.

CH: You're very kind.

VO: £20 profit.

Even with that performance boys, you're still lagging behind.

Sorry Terry.

Well done.

Charles... That was brilliant.

CR: Magic, absolute magic.

CH: Thank you very much.

VO: So, can the Murano glass put you in front?

Ladies and gentlemen, this belongs to the opposition.

VO: Oh no, Charlie's having a go now.

..with no enthusiasm whatsoever!

VO: So what's happening here?

Look at this.

VO: OK, stop.

VO: So, Charlie's swapped teams and is auctioning for the other side.

Terry's portering his own lot.

And now, Caroline's bidding, but shouldn't be, because she loves the glass.

Oh Gawd - back to the auction!

Hands up who's never been to Murano?

(LAUGHTER) You're all far too sharp!

100 on my right here, now 110, somebody.

At £100, anybody going at 110?

I'd even take 105.

At £100, yes, with you, Caroline at £100.

Anybody going at 105?

Your last chance, ladies and gentlemen, at £100.

Anybody going at five?

110, here you are, go on.

110.

Thanks a lot!

Oh, Tom!

VO: What's this?!

Even Tom, the official auctioneer, is joining in!

150.

CR: 150!

CQ: Tom!

VO: Surely that's an end to this auction madness?

Oh Caroline, 150, with the boss.

CR: All done.

Sold!

CQ: Thank you.

CR: A big round of applause.

CQ: Thank you Tom!

VO: I've never seen anything like it.

Sold to Tom.

I wonder if he'll charge himself commission - ha-ha!

VO: Now the lusterware pot... ..and Caroline's on the rostrum - again.

Is she after a change of career or what?

So what should I start at, Tom?

Well, you've got some good news here, you've got a bid already of £170 on it.

Oh, I've a bid of £170 on it already!

TOM: And who'll give me 180 for it?

Who'll give me 180 for it please?

180.

180 there.

190, sir?

190, there you are.

200 there.

CQ: 200.

TOM: 210.

210.

Anybody offer me 215, please?

Thank you, sir.

No more?

Nobody in the room?

Thank you very much, sir.

Going, going... gone.

Thank you.

VO: She's done it... putting Team Quentin and Ross well in the lead.

VO: By my reckoning, Sir Terry needs to make £54 profit on this damaged Chinese vase to win.

You worried, Charles?

If we fail to get the reserve, of course, I shall blame you.

Here we go, our last lot.

Is that worth £100 for it?

£50 for it?

Oh, it's worth much more than that.

Blimey, blimey, blimey.

£30 for it?

Here it goes.

This could be a discovery.

I'm bid at £30, 32, 35.

At £32, give me 35.

At 35, 38, 38, 40.

Come on!

VO: Don't beg, Charles.

40, 42.

CH: Come on Terry, show it round.

42, 45, 48?

50?

55?

VO: Thankfully, sanity has prevailed, and normal auction rules are back on - or nearly.

Sir Terry, look!

He's trying to buy his own lot!

70.

At £65, who'll give me one more?

70, 75.

At £70, £70, you've got 75, at £70, you've got 75 there, 75.

I think it's fantastic!

75.

£70, the bid's 70, but 75.

CH: Any more bids?

TOM: 80.

At £75, bidder here, you want 80?

At 75, 80, 85?

(LAUGHTER) Give me 85?

85 bid.

90 now?

I wouldn't say we were desperate or anything, but, you know!

£85 the bid.

At £85.

Give me 90, I'm bid 90.

95.

You're saying no.

At £90, bid at £90.

With Sir Terry at £90.

Take 95?

95, you're bidding.

VO: The man's gone mad.

I'll give you 100 for it.

I'm bid £100, take 110, £100, TOM: 110?

CQ: Bidding against himself!

At £100, take 110 for it, £100, are we done at £100?

Going once at £100.

CH: One more.

Yes Terry, bid.

Bid.

110, I'm bid, at 110.

Take 120, 130.

Oh, did I go to 130?

(LAUGHTER) What are we up to, 120 or 130?

You pick.

Oh, come on.

It's mine!

Mine, do you hear?

Bid at 130, last chance at 130 and sold to Sir Terry at 130.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) CH: Terry!

Oh!

VO: Bought your own lot, Sir Terry?

And made a small profit?

What can I say?

Other than it's been... an education.

Others may buy Ming, or even Chung.

But Ch'ien-lung for me.

Exactly!

VO: Both teams started today's road trip with a £400 budget, but after paying auction costs, our knight of the realm and his young sidekick only made £60.02, bringing up the rear with just £460.02.

VO: Caroline and Charlie, however, stormed ahead, with a commendable £115.82 profit, crossing the finishing line with a winning £515.82.

VO: Well done, everyone, and all the money our celebrities and experts raise will go to Children In Need.

It's been bliss, it really has, CQ: it's been so fantastic.

CR: Thank you so much.

CH: Partner, thank you.

TW: You have been terrific.

CH: Thank you very much.

TW: Charlie, as ever, as ever.

CR: Congratulations, sir.

TW: Congratulations to all.

CQ: Come with me.

TW: OK. CH: Well done.

Thank you, Dennis.

Take me away from all this, will you?

VO: Sadly, that's the end of our Antiques Road Trip, but I think you'll agree our celebrities did the business and have earned their stripes, though more for their antiques hunting than their behavior, maybe.

CQ: Bye-bye, darling!

CH: All the best!

TW: Who are those people?

CQ: I don't know.

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