>> Welcome back to family health matters.

I'm Sheli Irwin with me today is Brendan Kelly.

Licensed master social worker from the well being counseling and fitness center and bring a team.

I are licensed master social worker and director of clinical services at Wedgewood Community, Mental Health Services.

I get the best.

You worked hard for the L M S W both of you topic is stress the stress now.

Yeah.

Okay.

Haha.

Talk about that and how he's spending time in this field of stress.

But your day job.

>> My day job is I I run.

I'm the owner of outpatient counseling practice called the well-being counseling and fitness center.

We provide traditional outpatient counseling services to people who are struggling with come lingering mental health issues like depression or anxiety or stress or relationship problems.

And but our program is pretty unique because we we have our own fitness center on-site.

It's staffed by a fitness professional, and we use exercise as a part of her treatment.

And so that's what I do.

We'll get to that.

>> Pretty look very let.

Sabrina, let's talk a little bit about the Wedgewood and how stresses along with your day-to-day job.

>> So I am the director of clinical services at what should Christians services and we I oversee our outpatient and well as our outreach or community-based services.

So behavioral health, mental health, as well as SUV services specializing in prevention and recovery support.

We see a lot of committee members that are dealing with stress and the effects of stress and we just hope to walk alongside of them, empower them with skills in our to manage their stress on a day-to-day basis.

What is stress is a normal to have stress in our lives will start the main.

Yeah.

So stress is your body's reaction or response to a change or of stimuli?

And there's healthy stress and unhealthy stress.

And so yes, it is completely normal for all to experience stress.

It's just how you manage that stress.

That's what's key are important to Brendan.

Stand on that stress.

Yeah, I mean, you know it.

>> Not much.

I can say.

I think you did a great job describing it.

I mean, it is a it's a normal part of our daily lives.

And I think that our our life today, I believe, is a lot more stressful than it was say 100 years ago.

At the thing, I think about all the time is just the amount of information that is coming at us all day long, compared to say 100 years ago.

You know, we have our phones and the news and 24 hour news cycle.

And and and I just think the pace of her life is a lot faster than it once 100 years ago.

So I think that, you know, our our brains are maybe struggling to keep up with all of this stuff that's happening.

So, yeah, I think stress is, you know, it's always been a part of the human condition.

And I just wonder if even more so today, it's more of an a normal, a natural part, mission say natural, but more of a normal part of our daily life now.

>> Yeah, I think that identifying like examples of what a healthy stressor is or an unhealthy stress or normalize it for the listeners.

And so I think if you think about a healthy stress that may be meeting a deadline or building new relationships or public speaking.

But when you think of an unhealthy stress that could be the death of a loss of a loved one, that could be a relationship turmoil that could do the job loss, financial crisis.

Those are all things that can cause stress.

>> But as we will most likely explore.

There are ways to manage the good, the bad and the ugly as they say up physiologically, what's happening with stress solely the question.

My heart rates going up.

>> Yeah, yeah.

So particularly with higher levels of stress or acute stress or barred body starts to go into the fight or flight response.

So that is this a physiological reaction to stress where?

Yeah, typically one of the things that starts to happen is that our heart rate increases.

We start to get really tense.

You can feel that tension.

Our, you know, our body triggers the release of cortisol, which is, you know, essentially provides or our body with energy to to move.

Essentially, we start to take these deep breaths over breathing because our body is is trying to take in more oxygen.

Essentially, our body is getting ready, physiologically to to take off, running away the flight part or to fight back against some diseases, some some perceived threat.

This has been a part of the human condition for or, you know, since the beginning of time, basically 10,000 years ago, it was a saber tooth tiger.

Whatever that may have triggered the stress know it can be, you know, job loss or relationship stress or whatever the case may be.

So while that the trigger can be any number of things, the response is the same on what I mean.

What else?

I mean, like, yeah, you get you start to shake.

You start to sweat.

It's all of these.

Your body is essentially getting getting ready to move in.

Move quickly now.

>> Yeah, and I think that the identifying like for you how you feel stressed so that once you can identify how your body reacts to a change in the stimulus or change of an event and you know how to respond or you can then learn ways on how to respond in a healthy way cause.

So if you are experiencing unhealthy stress, you may have that sleep disturbance or that physical negative reaction.

You may experience changing your appetite as a result from that stress.

But where if you're experiencing that healthy stress, it may motivate, you may energize you.

It may build resiliency factors as you just have to identify.

How what am I feeling the fee intentional and then how do I react to?

>> What stress to kids feel?

Start with you bring.

>> So kids have a lot of stress nowadays that and we can thank our social media platforms for that.

But also we can fit thank the changes to our day-to-day lives so they have stress in all of their roles.

So kids are no longer just I am a kid.

I am a child.

I am a brother.

I am a friend.

I am actually I exactly I and the student.

I may be a volunteer.

I may be a new dish and musician.

I may be I'm a magician was what my mouth was going there.

But I may have all these different hats and I have to juggle them and know which one is important, something that we as adults carry like.

We have multiple identities in our day-to-day lives or titles, right.

And you don't learn how to manage that until you hit certain developmental milestones.

And so our children are doing that way earlier now.

>> Yes, let's get into the topic of what it would feel better if I'm stressed after a run trip.

Sure.

>> Well, going back to the fight or flight response.

So again, that is your body's your your brain, getting your body ready to either take off running away from this perceived threat or to fight back against this perceived threat, the fight or flight response.

And so when we when we move in a an 8 talk to my client about this, this is a part of our program at the well being that when somebody is experiencing a higher level of stress, more of an acute level of stress where their heart rate is up there, starting to, you know, over breather, getting shaky tense.

You know, you know, butterflies in the stomach, one of the best things probably the best thing that they can do is do some, you know, form of lake higher intensity, meaning get your heart rate up, move your body, go up and down a flight of steps, you know, a bunch of times maybe do some jumping jacks or, you know, run in place or whatever, do whatever you can do to move your body quickly.

And and and, you know, kind of intensely.

And because when we do that, we are literally doing what my our brain wants us to do.

And our body is all is is ready for us to do is getting getting it, you know, ready.

That's why we are, you know, where I'd like kind of priests, wedding, where, you know, our heart rate is already up there.

And so when we engage and exercise during these moments are brain is like think you essentially and and I've seen it happen countless times where somebody, you know, comes into office, you know, kind of one notch below a full-blown panic attack and we get them on a treadmill and 5.10, minutes later, they're back and look at them good.

>> That's pretty amazing.

I trust that is something both of your institutions.

Are you your expertise?

Teach it.

Yes.

Don't just put that into a lifestyle.

Add to that rain.

>> Yeah, I think another thing that we talk about children, I think we've talked a lot.

You've covered it really well on the fight or flight.

I think the freeze modality that we're seeing more with kids as well.

And so I think that leads more to the idea of like utilizing mindfulness or meditation.

And that doesn't mean you have to be still like.

So a lot of times people here, mindfulness or meditation, and they think it needs to be rhythmic are guided quiet.

Still, that doesn't be.

It just has to be re centering you to the here.

And now.

So a lot of times I tell children, adolescents or their caregivers, 5 senses.

We learned those at a young age, right?

So in the moment, if you're feeling stressed, let's just resign or you back to here and now let's get rid of that.

Freeze our take back control of it.

So what's one thing?

You hear one thing you see one thing, you smell one thing, you taste and then the last.

What's one thing you feel the negative?

>> Aspect of of dealing with stress, Self-medication Stearns, you think?

>> Yes, was self-medicating.

Does not have to start because you have a clinical diagnosis.

Self-medicating is sometimes that we all hear like, let's just take the edge off.

And it then can lead to further exasperate ins of a mental health condition of a physical health condition.

It can lead to misdiagnosis.

It can lead to a lot of negative impacts.

And so self-medication a lot of times people refer that with alcohol use prescription drug misuse illegal drugs, but that it doesn't have to be just those things.

It can lead to behaviors addictions as well, such as gambling addiction to food.

So there is a lot of different forms of self medication to just take that edge off.

And although it may give you a temporary relief, it's not going to give you that long-term solution that you need or provide you a healthy coping mechanism.

And when does one asks for help?

>> Say visit the well-being?

Sure.

Sure.

I would say when.

>> You know, would say if you're the levels of stress that you are dealing with our Korean causing some level of problems in their life, that that getting to the point to where you are finding it difficult to manage on your own, that's when you seek the help of a professional.

I mean, you know, sometimes we're dealing with stress that we can we can manage on their own.

But at the level of stress, you know, gets to a a place, you know, you're going to divorce, you know, will be one of the most stressful events.

You know, anybody can go through some times.

You know, everything is so overwhelming.

Your life is changing to such a great extent that, you know, you're you're having to untangle finances, move in and all of these things and going through the grief and loss of this relationship.

But it can just be too much for a person to deal with on their own.

And and so then they can go and meet with somebody like brina or myself and learn, you know, some healthier or are, you know, affective ways of reducing, you know, stress, coping with stress and breathing techniques and exercise, you know, CBT.

>> And things like that that are back with what you just said.

CBT, Cognitive behavioral therapy.

You know, yes, our 5th grader here.

Sure that expand on cognitive behavioral therapy.

>> Yes, so kind of behavioral therapy.

Really?

There's 2 components are cognition is in our behaviors and how those impact both kind of impact, how he how we feel, how we think impacts how we feel and what we do or don't do impacts how we feel.

And so a big part of CBT is focusing on, you know, what's going through my mind?

What thoughts?

You know in my thinking to myself, oh, my, you know, my life is over.

You know, I'm never going to recover from loss or, you know.

And so taking a look at thoughts that are maybe I, you know, negative and, you know, trying to figure out ways, you know, is there a healthier or more positive way that you can look at this?

And really, I think the biggest thing is is learning how to pay attention to these thoughts in the first place.

You know, when you think about, you know, all throughout the day, our mind is constantly in motion.

We are never without fog.

So there's all of these spots that are coming in and out of our minds all day.

And most of the time we're not even aware of.

And a lot of the spots, you know, especially if you're struggling with depression or stress or anxiety, a lot of them are very negatives.

And so if you're not aware, then then then you don't have any power or control over these thoughts.

The first step is really helping people start to pay attention to these thoughts and then develop what they call rational responses to be spots.

>> I mentioned the I was going to go each with specifically but building the foundation of I have a new life to live and I want to minimize my stress.

Am I getting my sleep in my eating, you know, Hafley recently so I can build off of that brain.

And I know you also have a background in interest to or does this mean its role in stress?

>> Yeah, so a lot of times when we have families come forward to us, there are times where we can see different ends of the spectrum.

So we have families come in who's maybe the caregiver had.

They had a car accident, right?

That can be a stress.

But for some that can be a travel.

But if everything's trauma, that nothing to travel a right.

And so in that we have to identify how this impacted the child or the adolescent in front of us was a stressful or was it traumatic?

And although the child in the care giver could be in that car accident together there individuality and how they perceive that incident is going to be different and then expand.

>> Yes, so I mean that the difference between stress and trauma, what you know with trauma there are, you know, certain criteria that really kind of helped define whether person, you know, is struggling with trip with trauma like nightmares and flashbacks, avoidance of, you know, situations that saw a car accident, right?

Somebody who's been, you know, in a car accident that was traumatized by it will, you know, they'll avoid riding in a car.

They may have nightmares of, you know, of the car accident or flashbacks of the car accident rate.

And so the >> someone who has that stress may just feel that increased heart rate when they think of the incident.

But it's not a reoccurring memory.

It's not a recollection that is happening or impairing their day-to-day life.

And so that's kind of like a big distinguishing factor is doesn't impair my day-to-day life because both healthy and unhealthy stress doesn't necessarily impair your day-to-day activities were trauma.

It does cause impairment and to use it to be a successful in your day-to-day life.

>> You not to make light of it.

But the parents, obviously, we know that parents, caregivers, model behavior.

So if if a parent is is highly stressed and may not know that child will pick up on that and perhaps follow through.

>> Yes, so that's kind of like going along the lines of intergenerational trauma.

So the idea of intergenerational trauma is that it's not that you passed the traumatic event down.

You passed the reaction to the traumatic event down.

So if you, for example, experience a trauma as a child such as that makes you see the world like changes your map of the world to be the world is dangerous.

And you, as a parent believe that the world is dangerous, arch for children are so smart and they are going to then and pick up off of your fear and they're going to that incorporate that thought of the world is dangerous.

And they're getting also then going to have that thought that as we talk to CBT effects and how they behave and in turn their thoughts and behaviors are going to affect how they act.

And so we have to be able to connect.

Where does this impactful far originate that intergenerational trauma and how do I break that cycle?

How do I reframe?

How do I change it?

>> Is treatment for a young mom letter?

Lassie or Tina coming to see you as well.

>> Yes, so there are traditional outpatient counseling services to meet the individual in front of you.

But there's also a specialized programs for youth aged 4 to 17, and it's called trauma focused, cognitive behavioral therapy.

And so if you needs that extra step, if it is, if you're identifying that it's more than stress and it is trauma and we need to focus on that trauma, their specialized treatment to help those children where they're at and also provide psycho education to the caregivers of that child to meet that child, whether at 2.

>> All right.

Brandon one comes to you and says I am so scared to speak in public now does to treat that.

>> Sure.

So again, you know, one of the things, you know, you can you can help them.

You know, you work with cognitive behavioral therapy, right?

And one of the things is okay.

What what what are the fears with anxiety?

You know, the definition of anxiety that I operate from is anxiety is an overestimation of danger or likelihood of something bad occurring, this anxiety coming from stress or is correlated or not to get?

Yeah, I mean, I think anxiety caused stress that if things it is fear, anxiety is worry.

I'm worried that this bad thing is going to happen and I'm warning that I won't be able to handle it or cope with that.

It will overwhelm a all freak out or whatever all get up onstage.

And I'll just freezing all all run up there.

It's cracking the case, right?

Exactly.

Exactly.

So that that, you know, the anxiety is really what brings the stress on the worry is really what brings the stress on.

So, you know, helping them in.

Okay.

What's the worst case scenario you get up?

There was, you know, okay, worst-case scenarios that you do freeze for a minute with how likely is it that you're going to run screaming off the stage?

Probably pretty unlikely.

You might be nervous.

You might be shaky.

Okay.

How bad would that be in reality?

What it would it change your life in any way?

Would you, you know, would you know at the end would you lose your job?

Would you buy 5, Brit?

Yeah.

>> 1, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, are also sometimes I think of the 5, 5, 5, role as like an anger management tool.

But it's really okay.

So stop for 5 minutes.

Well, this event massively impact your life in 5 years.

If no, don't waste any more.

5 minutes on it.

>> You bring me back to memories.

Little test anxiety.

We back then just and that that you have to go through the same.

You know, you feel or fair freezing in not knowing a thing that you've studied all your life.

Certain running right up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What about any any issues with stress in our seniors these days fear of a coming up with obviously a health problems are running out of money.

Do you specialize in that at all?

>> Yes, and that we could even tear that back to the intergenerational trauma.

So there is that fear that we may be passing down generations and generations of these negative self-doubt or beliefs or some do feel like we patch down the traumatic event.

And so I think that with the population of grand parents or caregivers that are stepping in as grandparents are stepping in as a parent rolled nowadays for their grandchildren.

My advice is that it's not your parent teen.

It's not your trauma that you're passing down.

What you can do no matter how late in the game is break that cycle.

And so you can break that cycle on build those resiliency skills because resiliency skills can be passed down specifically and trauma that you cannot.

>> The stress is going what is the sense in the EPA's of Brendan?

What else about?

>> Exercise, how would you we would you set up a lifestyle program for your actual sleep?

Yes, there were some research that came out a few years ago from the Karolinska Institute in Sweden and what they found based on a they they studied.

What was it kind are in in some.

It's something that's released into our bloodstream during times of stress, right?

And in many ways, what they found was that exercise a regular exercise changes kiner inning, which can cost through our blood brain barrier so it can it can enter our brain.

It's a somewhat topped a toxic substance.

It's associated with depression.

But anyways, what they found was that regular exercise is changes kiner inning into kind of arena casted, which prevents it from being able to cross into our blood brain barrier clock roster, the blood brain barrier anyways, the long and short of it is their conclusion was that essentially exercise has this inoculation type of fact to us on stress so that when we're exercising regularly, so again that we can use it and we're talking cardiovascular exercise, a cardio or strength training.

And in fact, more of what the Karolinska Institute found was more.

It was Morris with strength training, but cardio as well.

Right.

So the wonderful thing about exercises that you can use it like a like a PR and right like to cause an ex or climb up.

And I I'm stressed out.

I'm freaked out right now.

I can exercise right now and feel better or you can take it like an antidepressant, which is I'm taking it, you know, on a regular basis.

And it's building up in my system.

What the in order to give us that that sort of an ocular, a shunt type effect.

So so we still get stressed.

But the stress, you know, I still experience stress, but the level of stress that I experience when I'm Renaud physically active is less and noticeably less than what then if I'm not, you know, I feel like, you know, I still feel the stress, but I'm like OK of the handle and I'm I'm okay, you know, but I will say this, you know, when COVID hit, that was a hard time.

So and I always think that was what this topic maybe think about.

So COVID hits on, you know, is that March 13th or 15 or years ago?

My wife at the time was an ER social worker at Butterworth.

So she is on the front lines, right?

The first person that I fell and I sort of knew it was a guy from my hometown.

He was a guy about my agent and he got it and it put him in the ICU for a month.

So I am I and and we had just moved our office to a new location that was bigger and more expensive.

And so all of a sudden, you know, COVID hits in the world, just, you know, struts known and there was about 5 days where ice.

I mean, I've never experienced anything like this.

It was about a five-day like anxiety attack where I'm just shaking, you know, and my appetite shut down.

Probably lost over 5 pounds because I was, you know, struggling to like I had no appetite and I had to rely on the skills.

I just like, okay, I had to exercise regularly every single day and that helped.

But then I was practicing mindfulness as well that, you know, centering myself because my mind is going, you know, I mean, all these different, you know, and really scary places.

And so I'm heading to practice mindfulness and bring my attention back and then breathing techniques, you know, box breathing.

And that was what I used to get me through.

You know, those difficult time.

So I mean it it helped.

It helped me survive.

But it was a struggle.

It was a real struggle for me.

You know, thankfully, here we are 4 years later and things have, you know, seem to be back to normal.

But yeah, I'll never forget that.

Ben, you don't think you for sharing Jeff.

>> Social media.

We have to say on that hugs a whole social media can cause of stress for so many different reasons.

And I think that one of the reasons that we're seeing higher concern in our parents and caregivers stress was social media for youth and adolescence is the self diagnosis that we're seeing kids take from social media and it's causing stress even as losses providers.

We're having kids come to our office with this perceived diagnosis, the smart this treatment plan that they got from this influencer on social media.

And we're trying to build that therapeutic reporter that relationship and provide a professional diagnosis or one that we can give them skills to increase their positive coping.

We're getting that a push back or a wall to that relationship because they're adamant that they were right on the diagnosis that they got from the Internet.

>> Nice return on social media.

We yeah.

I think the other thing is that, you know, everything that's posted on social media shows the good part of life for like, you know, I'm on vacation in my life is wonderful or I'm doing this right, right?

Exactly.

That doesn't show reality.

But but, you know, so I have a daughter who's 15 and I worry about, you know, that that she sees, you know what she's seeing this, you know, this person and social media know they're doing better than me in.

And either that makes me feel worse about myself or no.

I'm stressed out because I have to, you know, I have to do as well as this person appears to be doing, you know, in life.

So it it adds that pressure.

But it also, you know, it can add, you know, feelings of being decreased self-esteem because say, I'm not as popular.

I'm not a smarter is I'm not as good of an athlete or whatever the case may be and that, yes, it is a huge stressor.

>> And we thank you for going through this stress.

Brendan, what the UN this within.

How do we find out more about your work?

>> Sure.

So what I will say is what I've been telling people recently, there's been information that's come out over the past few years.

That really shows that of all the things that we can do from our mental health exercise.

Regular exercise is probably the best are really is.

And to the point that I've been, you know, saying to people, if somebody comes in and you know, with our program, it's counseling and exercise.

And if they come in and they're like, you know, I can do counseling or I can do the exercise.

I don't have time to both to do both.

All tell did exercise, like that's how much I believe in it.

So for everybody out there, I you know, start moving, go to the gym, you know, doesn't have to be don't have to, you know, do anything too extreme.

But just move your body that that's my biggest take on all this.

I think it's the best thing that we can do for mental health.

As far as getting a hold of us at the well being our website is Www dot GR well-being dot com and our phone number is 616-458-6870.

Yeah.

Give us call if you have any questions of the.

Yeah.

Yeah.

>> Just the word well-being is a that question is now 4 were trying, which would Christian service was we didn't bring this up, but I'm sure for faith plays some role in controlling our stress.

>> Yeah, and so and we can look at our beliefs, our spiritual practices to help guide us in finding those mindfulness and meditative states.

We can go through allowing our practices also to maybe play a role on if we're not living up to what we perceived expectation, then it may in regards be asking for that guidance on how to meet that expectation or what we feel is perceived to take.

>> And in general red, which would Christian services without the E a bhith inpatient outpatient, how the work.

>> So we are out the bomb.

A counseling center is an outpatient as well as a community-based service for all walks of life, meaning that we don't serve just youth and adolescence, we serve adults.

We also sir families and we can provide services in our offices.

We have 4 locations.

We also can provide services via telemedicine.

And then certain funding source is allow us to even do the outreach component where we can come to your home, come to your school and get connected to you that way throughout the treatment and care that you may need that and how to find out more information that you can visit our website at Www Dot Wedgewood W E D G W OD Dot Org or give us a call at 616-942-7294.

They exercise in your life over the next couple days back.

Yeah.

Even if you just do 10 minutes a day, then science shows that there's a difference.

Yes, same to you, Brent.

And dollar on that where you're located physically, we are right on Leonard Street, just just west of one.

31 by the mid Murray, the neighbors, the head.

Yes, 3 things in life, death taxes and stretched current for going to get that salute you for reminding us that.

>> It can be controlled with your assistance.

So thank you, Brendan, and bring it for your services with the obvious year.

Your specialties, as always, thank you for joining us.

And Shelley Road