When I started elementary school my parents instructed me to pron my name in a way that it was never pronounced.

And I remember being like, That's not my name.

And they're like, People can't say your name.

Just make it easy for them.

Oh, no.

I grew up in two different cultu I was born here, and I grew up three months out of the year in Because my parents were more com in that culture, they were more permissive in tha and then in this life, there wer restricting, and I felt trapped, completely t So the association with here, I feel trapped, other places I feel free.

Wow, so that would definitely sk how you see yourself in these different places, in these two worlds.

Right?

What was it like living in this Here, I got attention because I was the exotic Turkish I spent many years being a show.

You're you're so wild.

You're you're eccentric.

You're so exotic.

I could never.

Oh, I could never.

You know, I definitely received a message and into recently where I'm too Oh, wow.

So do you feel like that was a c on your personality or something more connected to your upbringing and your cult All of my sisters have also experienced that.

And so I do think it's a cultura And even in Turkey, I didn't feel like I fit in ther because I was the blue eyed Amer You know, like pop culture, American culture, American girl.

Yeah.

And so I just kind of always bru like any attention I was getting I never felt like I super connec with any individual.

Yeah.

I lay in that space of like a nu like, person of color because I but I don't present as.

Oh, I get that.

I feel like I'm in the same boat, I actually.

Have you run inot weirdness about that in There's a P.O.C.

Facebook group, a friend of mine added me to the Just I was in it all of a sudden and I was like, Okay, yeah, okay I'm with this group.

Cool.

And then another friend of mine later removed me from the group.

Neither of them talked with me a And both of those I guess the race of either of th doesn't really matter in the sto but they're the same race, one of them added me, one of the me, and I was like, This is inte So I brought it up to my friend.

He's like, Yeah, I, we should probably talk about th I just felt that maybe like you because you present and whatever Sure.

Whatever you say.

Yeah, okay.

I'm not, I'm not a person of col because you removed me from that So I'm not.

- Well, are you not?

I mean, is it up to the group to or is it up to you to decide if you're a person of color?

I definitely don't want to be th that enters the space and has people be like, you you don't kn it's like.

Because it's true.

I don't.

But I do want to play with you.

I would rather play in this grou that I identify with more than play with a group white guys in flannel shirt.

But is it about me?

That's a good question.

I don't know.

Yeah, it's tricky.

Okay.

I have an easier question.

What is an example of a micro-ag that you've lived through.

A very consistent one has always been like nicknam that people give me without my c that are plays off of my name because they can't pronounce my or they won't pronounce my name.

I played kickball on Sundays, and there was a guy on our team.

Mm hmm.

I've seen him before.

And so and I was like, team capt And so I was like, Okay, let's introduce ourselves.

I'm ...... Nice to meet you all.

And then this guy next to me was I'm never going to be able to sa I'm like, Yes, you can just say And he's like, No, no, I can't s And I like made him say my name.

Like, Just say it.

Just open your mouth and say it.

And then he was like ..... and I was like, See, it was not that hard.

You can say it.

So don't tell yourself you can't because you can.

Yes.

And it was kind of like, I held this simultaneous pace of like, I look like an --- hole And also I'm like, --- yea, standing up for myself.

And also, like, my M.O.

is to, like, motivate people to be able to do Yes!

F--- yeah!

What excites you these days?

What what gives you hope?

Oh, my God.

I'm so excited that my kids get to see the world changing and are part of a world that's on this, like, path.

Of more understanding.

And also, I'm terrified of what kind of world they're going But I think that there are more good people than...

I don't like saying good.

I think I want to say reasonable There are more reasonable people than unreasonable people.

And the key is to connect with individuals as often as we Amen.