VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts with £200 each...

I love that.

VO: ..a classic car and a goal to scour Britain for antiques.

Yippee!

It's a good job I like ya!

VO: The aim?

To make the biggest profit at auction, but it's no mean feat.

There'll be worthy winners and valiant losers.

Agh, I'm getting wet!

VO: So will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?

How much did you make?

About a couple of quid!

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip!

VO: Yeah!

VO: On this road trip, two fine gents battle for the heart of Yorkshire.

VO: Thomas Plant is a Berkshire auctioneer who is determined that nothing will put a dampener on his cheery disposition.

Agh, I'm getting wet!

VO: While Philip Serrell is the Worcestershire veteran of the trade, who's approaching this road trip with all his usual sunny optimism.

Yeah, I think we're doomed.

VO: Heehee!

Thomas started the road trip with a nice round £200.

On the first leg, he managed to grow his budget to a respectable £258.10.

Well done.

VO: Philip also started with £200 and has nosed ahead of his rival, beginning this leg with a total of £270.50.

VO: Today, our pair are piloting a beautiful blue beast, the 1975 Triumph Stag, and they're feeling positive about many things.

PHILIP: I like chimneys.

VO: Jolly good.

VO: This whole road trip takes our boys from Samlesbury in Lancashire over the Irish Sea to the Isle of Man, then south to nautical Greenwich - an epic journey of almost 700 miles.

On this leg, they'll begin in the ancient city of York, ending up at auction in Rotherham, South Yorkshire.

Ooh aye!

VO: They're just coming into York, as Thomas has noticed.

York sign, York sign, York sign, York sign.

VO: I'm glad to see someone's had their morning coffee.

Now, do calm down, chaps.

Founded by the Romans in 71AD, the walled city of York has seen more than a little triumph and tragedy in its two millennia.

Let's hope this morning brings more of the former for Thomas and Philip.

THOMAS: There's the Minster.

VO: They're parking up next to York landmark Clifford's Tower and heading their separate ways.

THOMAS: You have a great one!

VO: Philip's on his way to his first shop.

Do you know, I've never ever been to York before.

I've got no idea what to expect so I think the best plan is no plan.

VO: Fair enough, Phil.

But it's beginning to look as if you're just ambling about aimlessly.

Finally, Philip has managed to wander to his first shop.

The Red House Antique Center, where he's meeting assistant manager, Andy.

PHILIP: Good to see you.

Is it alright to have a look round?

Yes, help yourself.

PHILIP: What do you think of it so far?

(LOWERS VOICE) Rubbish.

VO: Oh, cheer up, Philip!

Best plan for me is no plan at all.

VO: So you keep saying, Phil.

But planned or not, Philip has seen something that might just strike the right note.

PHILIP: Can I have a look at that?

ANDY: You certainly can.

That beastie there please.

A wandering minstrel or a musician or of course artist would have had this.

VO: It's a portable music stand dating from the Victorian era.

Ticket price is £38.

PHILIP: Ah, here we go, so that goes...there... VO: Are you having trouble with that, Phil?

PHILIP: ...goes there like that.

Can we take that as a possi... can we put that on the counter?

VO: The stand belongs to a dealer who rents cabinet space in the shop.

Andy's going to give him a ring to see what his rock- bottom price might be.

ANDY: In your cabinet, you've got a nice little folding music stand.

It's going to be, yeah, it's going to be 10% isn't it?

Yeah, so it's going to be 34 quid.

Thanks a lot, John, sorry to bother you.

Cheers now.

Bye bye.

You know when things don't go very well.

VO: We do, Andy.

The dealer isn't keen to budge much in the ticket price, but the tireless Philip has decided to try negotiating with the shop instead, who might be able to tweak the price down a little by waiving their commission on the sale.

Stewart, also an assistant manager, might be able to help.

Let's make an executive decision; I'll give you 30 quid for it.

STEWART: Done.

Done?

Good man.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

VO: Very reasonable.

You want some money, don't you?

STEWART: Yes please.

PHILIP: There we are, thank you very much indeed.

PHILIP: Lovely to see you.

STEWART: Thank you.

Thank you for the guided tour.

ANDY: Cheers.

See you soon, bye bye.

VO: First buy in the bag and Philip's off to his next shop.

About a five-minute walk away, Thomas is also enjoying York's ancient atmosphere.

He's keen to learn a bit more about the history of the city so he's heading to one of its nearest attractions - York's Chocolate Story - delish!

Hello.

I'm Thomas Plant.

Pleased to meet you, I'm Alex, I'm the chocolate historian for Nestle.

Why is it synonymous with chocolate and sweets here?

Well, York is chocolate city.

THOMAS: I never knew that, I never ever knew that.

VO: Well, listen and learn, Thomas.

For more than a century, York has been a confectionery capital and home to manufacturers such as Rowntree's, Cravens and Terry's.

As such the city has brought sweet treats to generations of grateful Brits.

Alex has a couple of tasty items to show Thomas, which illustrate the early history of the industry in York.

This is one of the oldest tins of chocolate in the collection.

ALEX: In case we touch the chocolate, we really do have to wear gloves because it's just so fragile.

THOMAS: That's got chocolate in it?

Yes, it has.

This was a bar of chocolate sent by Queen Victoria as a new year gift to all of the soldiers fighting in the Boer War in 1900 so it was made in 1899 and it says here "I wish you a happy new year" and it's signed by Victoria.

THOMAS: Oh, brilliant.

And here's the chocolate inside.

THOMAS: It's still there in with the straw.

It does smell.

VO: Hmm, that's novel.

Alex has another royal choccy tin.

This one dating from World War I and presented to the troops by King George V, Victoria's grandson.

ALEX: Not only did he send out chocolate, which we can see here, this one's very good condition, but the unusual thing about this tin was they'd obviously thought about what other things a soldier might want and so if we look at the back, there's a match striker and then if we slide off this back here, we can see a collection of postcards of York that were included in the tin.

THOMAS: So these would be sent back your loved ones at home.

VO: He's got it!

And York's confectionery companies continued to be important throughout the 20th century.

After the outbreak of World War II, many factories were set to work making munitions for the war effort.

With many of the men at war, the work fell to the factories' women.

ALEX: During the Second World War when the ladies were making munitions, they made sure that they had special protective make up to protect their faces from the powder they working with, which unfortunately turned them bright yellow.

THOMAS: Really?

All of them bright yellow?

ALEX: They were called canary girls because the ladies who worked in the munitions factory, the powder would be absorbed through their skin.

So they were making munitions in the chocolate factory.

ALEX: Yes!

At the same time as they were making chocolate?

Yes, in some cases, they were making a little bit of plain chocolate and they'd stop making Smarties and the Smarties block was used for munitions.

VO: In the post-war era, the choccy business boomed and continues to the present day.

In the center's working chocolate kitchen, the lovely Alison will show Thomas how chocs are still handmade here.

Look at that!

We're going to do some hand- rolled truffles just like they would have done in the factories.

Do I get a hat as well?

ALISON: You get a hat.

THOMAS: It's made for the smaller head.

ALISON: We're going to roll some truffles so you need to take a few into your left hand, put a bit of chocolate on your right hand and roll them together.

THOMAS: Well that doesn't seem too difficult.

VO: What a mess, eh?

Have I got chocolate on my nose?

ALISON: No, not at the moment you haven't anyway!

I've got it everywhere.

Thank you very much.

Not a problem.

Can I take some of these away with me?

ALISON: You can take all of them away with you if you like.

VO: Lucky you, Thomas!

I'd stick with the antiques if I were you.

He's heading to meet his old mucker, Philip on the city walls but he's still wearing...oh dear!

You look like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

The Pillsbury Doughboy?

You see, I had to wear the hat to make some chocolates.

Do you like it?

It's not a good look, I can't see it catching on at all, really.

VO: Come on, you two!

Time to find your next shops.

So do you have any idea where we are?

Yes, I promise you, Phil.

I think we should have turned left back there.

THOMAS: We will be turning left in a minute.

Excuse me, my love, do you know where Piccadilly is?

WOMAN: No, sorry.

THOMAS: You don't know where anything is?

VO: Well, you have that in common.

That's round the wrong way!

VO: Finally, they seem to have got their bearings.

THOMAS: Look!

PHILIP: This is it!

There it is.

VO: They're splitting up and Philip's heading off towards Banana Warehouse, his next shop.

VO: With the help of dealers David and young Warren, let's see if he can 'exterminate' the competition.

PHILIP: How much is that?

WARREN: That, unfortunately, is not for sale.

It was made by primary school children and we hire it out.

VO: What a shame, I would have loved to see you trying to get it into the car.

PHILIP: Can I have a look at the cricket bat, please?

VO: Philip's eyeballed a sporting item which might give him a good innings.

It's a miniature cricket bat, bearing the facsimile signatures of legendary cricketers of the mid-20th century.

It's got some great names on here, look - Rhodes, Tom Goddard, Compton.

VO: Ticket price is £30.

Warren's going to phone the dealer who owns it.

I'll give them a ring and find out what offer he'd take on it.

PHILIP: If you could, that would be fantastic and I'll continue to have a look round.

WARREN: He says you can have that for 15, WARREN: that's the absolute... PHILIP: OK, that's fine.

Hang on to that then.

WARREN: Yep.

PHILIP: What should I be looking at?

WARREN: It depends what your taste is... PHILIP: Taste?

Have you seen this program, I haven't got any taste!

WARREN: (LAUGHS) Well, you can always buy something different.

VO: You're very tactful, Warren.

PHILIP: What about that little mangle?

Yeah, I'll get him to get it down.

VO: It's a child's toy mangle.

On the ticket, £25.

PHILIP: And what do you say on this one?

WARREN: He says he'll do you a favor and you can have it for a tenner but it's worth a hell of a lot more.

PHILIP: Yeah, I like that, yeah.

OK, put that with the cricket bat and we're getting a bit of a parcel here, aren't we?

VO: Philip's decided to combine the toy mangle and the miniature cricket bat into a job lot, but he's still browsing on.

VO: He's found a basket of antique legal documents.

PHILIP: These are just indentures that date back, but they're not that old.

That one's 1900, basically they're like mortgage deeds for parcels of land.

VO: One of them mentions the Duke of Westminster.

Ticket price for the two documents that Philip has selected from the pile is £10.

PHILIP: Warren, can I put these with my little parcel?

So, so far we've got a mangle... Yeah.

PHILIP: We've got those two.

WARREN: OK. And we've got a little cricket bat, PHILIP: haven't we?

WARREN: Yep.

We're getting there, we're getting there... VO: And there's yet another thing he's spotted.

Better fetch the stepladder, young Warren.

PHILIP: There's a whisky barrel up there, I wouldn't mind having a look at that.

Don't know how old it is.

VO: He's adding the 19th-century ceramic barrel to the reserve pile.

It says £30 on the ticket.

Right, I need to see about some prices, don't I?

VO: With a veritable bundle of potential buys on the table, it's time for Philip to get haggling.

Combined ticket price of all the items is £95 - let's see.

WARREN: 15 for that and 10 for that, so that's 25.

PHILIP: Fiver for those two and a tenner for that is how I'm valuing them.

Yeah.

VO: He gets the lot for a bargain £40.

PHILIP: 10, there's 40, thank you.

WARREN: Thank you very much.

PHILIP: Thank you very much, Warren.

VO: And with that, he's off to wander the winding streets of York once more.

Thomas, meanwhile is hanging out with some jolly colorful characters.

# She is handsome, she is pretty, # # she is the belle of Belfast City, # # she is courting one, two, three, # # please will you tell me, who is she?

# VO: Come on, man, enough choccies and busking, time to get some shopping done.

THOMAS: (CHUCKLES) THOMAS: Hello.

PHIL: How are you doing sir?

Good, this is exciting.

PHIL: Oh, I think so.

THOMAS: This is really exciting.

I'm Thomas.

PHIL: Hi Thomas, Phil.

THOMAS: Phil, nice to meet you.

CJ: CJ.

THOMAS: CJ.

So how did does it all work?

VO: If you don't know how a shop works, Thomas, this is going to be a very long day.

PHIL: You find something and pay us lots of money.

VO: Thank you, Phil.

If I'm not careful, I'm going to be just buying shiny things as I did the last leg.

Shiny, shiny, and oh, more shiny.

VO: And as if by magic...

They look alright.

God, look at that color in there.

George II candlesticks.

Fifteen quid.

Nothing for something, you know.

1720.

VO: And there's something else in the cabinet.

THOMAS: And the Archimedes drill?

PHIL: Good for Archimedes, great invention.

VO: The Archimedes drill is named - oddly enough - after the ancient Greek genius, Archimedes, who had a screw.

PHIL: They're a very useful tool, you can use them nowadays, the drill bit goes in there.

It's supposed to spin.

THOMAS: I really like it, I really do.

What can that be?

PHIL: Eh... (MUTTERS) Really, you know... PHIL: £18.

THOMAS: £18, well that's not bad is it and I've seen something else I quite like of yours as well, which I'm going to go and get and ask about.

PHIL: Ah, a pair of candlesticks.

Yeah, I like them.

They've been polished to within an inch of their lives though.

PHIL: Of course.

VO: What deal could Thomas strike on the candlesticks?

10, how does 10 sound?

10?

And then the Archimedes drill?

We say...we agreed on 18.

THOMAS: 18, yeah, 18.

So that makes um... PHIL: £38.

THOMAS: £38.

VO: 10 plus 18 makes 38, does it?

I think Phil might be having you on, Thomas.

THOMAS: 28, 28... PHIL: Just thought I'd try it on, see if it worked!

And it did!

THOMAS: I didn't even contemplate, my brain wasn't working.

VO: Really?

Can I make you an offer?

You can make us an offer.

Can I buy this for 25?

Hmmm... yeah, I think we could do that.

THOMAS: Is that alright?

PHIL: That's fine by me.

VO: Thomas is having a final browse around, but look who's arrived.

THOMAS: Oh God.

Here he c...here he comes.

Thomas, how are you getting on?

THOMAS: Oh, brilliantly, Phil.

What are you doing down here?

Well, I have absolutely bought some incredible items.

THOMAS: Have you?

Yeah, incredibly bad items I think.

THOMAS: No!

PHILIP: Yeah, I think we're doomed.

THOMAS: No, you're not doomed!

I'm actually doomed.

VO: That's the spirit, Philip.

He's going to have a browse, with his customary optimism.

PHILIP: I don't know what's happening round here.

My life needs to take a new direction.

VO: Lordy.

Well, let's see how much a box of hats is.

VO: Jolly good.

Ticket price is £50.

PHILIP: Martin, these your hats?

I don't know how many's in there, I haven't counted them.

MARTIN: 20 quid the lot to you.

Done, there you are.

VO: A buy from camera-shy dealer Martin's disembodied hand - look there's his hand.

I just bought 20 quid's worth of ridiculous hats.

Why?

I don't know.

VO: Well, now you have, you better do the necessary.

VO: Glad to see they've cheered you up.

And with that needless tomfoolery, it's the end of an action-packed first day, so goodnight, chaps.

VO: But you can't keep this pair off the road for long - they greet the morning back in the Stag and in fine spirits.

PHILIP: It's a lovely day, Tho-mas.

THOMAS: It could be a lovely day.

VO: So far, Thomas has spent £25 on two lots - the Archimedes drill and the pair of Georgian brass candlesticks.

While Philip has been a busy bee, spending £90 on five lots - the Victorian music stand and indentures, the ceramic whisky barrel, the toy cricket bat and mangle and the basket of assorted hats.

PHILIP: I haven't got a clue where we are.

VO: As usual.

VO: They're driving actually towards Cawthorne, South Yorkshire.

VO: Just west of Barnsley, Cawthorne is a friendly place to start the morning.

Mornin'!

THOMAS: It's a lovely horse.

VO: Thomas has dropped Philip off in the village... Have a good time, matey.

VO: ..and is heading into his first shop of the day, where he's meeting dealer Karen.

And not for the first time, it would seem.

THOMAS: Hello!

KAREN: Morning.

Morning, again.

Lovely to meet you again.

Thank you very much for having me back.

My pleasure.

Um, and, eh, yeah, I'm going to enjoy myself.

Great.

THOMAS: It's always nice to come back to somewhere familiar.

VO: Thomas visited this shop on a previous road trip - and look, here's the evidence.

And there I am - with the Laidlaw!

VO: Well, let's hope Karen doesn't shove that in a drawer after this visit, eh?

VO: Thomas hasn't bought much yet.

How's he feeling about his prospects?

Open mind, have a look, get on with it.

VO: Well, it's a plan of sorts, I suppose.

Then I'll panic!

VO: Oh, no.

Not more hats.

Please.

That fits.

A little bit.

That's more my look.

VO: Oh, do behave!

But now he's dug up something that might just turn a profit, look.

THOMAS: I think that's for cutting silage.

Hay.

Yeah.

Fermented hay.

Or peat.

VO: It's priced up at £29.

I like that.

I love this...weathered handle.

VO: He likes the spade and is taking it downstairs, where he's spied something else.

THOMAS: I like that little car.

The Jetex, the Jetex car.

That's great fun.

VO: Jetex was a mid-20th century manufacturer of model vehicles, which were powered by a miniature rocket motor.

Ticket price is £25.

I like old toys, and they bring back, you know, a real nostalgia to people.

VO: Karen will open the cabinet for him.

THOMAS: It's the toy.

I have to say...the box is in pretty poor state, but it's a great, fun thing.

VO: And while the cabinet's open, something else has taken his fancy.

That is quite cool.

VO: It's a piece of trench art - a brass serviceman's cap made from an artillery shell.

It may have been crafted by a soldier serving during World War I.

On the ticket, £20.

THOMAS: That's more unusual.

KAREN: I haven't seen one like that before, no.

THOMAS: I've never seen that before.

We'll ask about that as well.

Yeah.

VO: Karen will phone the dealer who owns the toy car and brass cap, to see what sort of deal might be struck.

You got £20 on the car and you've got 20 on the cap.

Thomas is asking can you do 30?

THOMAS: 30.

30.

KAREN: That's lovely, Richard.

Thank you very much, love.

THOMAS: What did he say?

Yes, he'll do 30.

THOMAS: Oh, great.

Oh, and then the hay cutter... what can that be?

He wouldn't do it for 20, would he?

It's got 29 on it.

KAREN: I think he probably would, yeah.

I think I'm going to go for all three.

Lovely.

VO: Lovely!

Deal done.

THOMAS: I'll give you £50.

KAREN: That'll be lovely.

Thanks very much.

THOMAS: Thank you very much.

KAREN: Bye bye.

THOMAS: Bye bye.

VO: Having already accumulated an array of items, Philip is keen to learn a little more about the local area and has wandered off to the Cawthorne Victoria Jubilee Museum.

He's meeting museum president Barry.

Hi, I'm Philip.

Hello, I'm Barry Jackson.

Barry, how are you?

VO: The museum was founded in the late 1800s by the village's vicar, who rejoiced in the name of Charles Tiplady Pratt, and whose private store of fascinating objects formed the beginnings of the collection we see today.

This place has everything, from natural wonders to complete mysteries.

BARRY: We're still growing.

I mean, people are still donating things.

PHILIP: Really?

You've got an eclectic mix of, like, everything from everywhere, haven't you?

BARRY: Yes.

We've been called The Victorian Hotch-Potch before now!

VO: The museum building was built by Pre-Raphaelite painter John Roddam Spencer Stanhope and his brother, Sir Walter.

They supported the reverend in his mission to allow the Cawthorne people access to the collection in the noble name of self-education.

PHILIP: Is it alright if I have look round?

BARRY: Yes, you may.

VO: Mm.

Barry's taking Philip to see a particularly hair-raising item.

And what's that?

Is that like a telephone exchange or something?

BARRY: No, it's a hair perming machine.

PHILIP: You what?!

For perming hair.

PHILIP: I've got to look at that.

BARRY: The hair was rolled up and then put into these, which were electrically heated.

PHILIP: Where would this have dated from?

Oh, 1930.

And this is an English device?

Yes.

There's a...

There's somebody using it there.

Let's have a look, then.

So this... Oh, my...word!

That's a chap!

I tell you what, that to me looks like an absolutely evil device.

VO: Don't mince your words there, Phil!

The curling contraption was donated by a local hairdresser, who was still using it in the 1960s, bless him!

Blimey!

I bet the local girls looked a treat!

VO: But around the corner, there's something that's much more to Philip's taste.

PHILIP: Barry, this is incredible, this is, cuz this is such a barmy place - you go from hair perming machines to William De Morgan, who...one of the most iconic potters, designers of the 19th century.

VO: Donations given to the museum through Spencer Stanhope's glamorous connections included items from the writer and critic John Ruskin and these wonderful late Victorian ceramics, by De Morgan.

PHILIP: William De Morgan was a real exponent of the Pre-Raphaelite movement, wasn't he?

BARRY: Yes, yes.

In terms of design.

And his pots are so sought after.

BARRY: Yeah.

PHILIP: I think that's fantastic.

Right, let's go and have a look and see what else we can find.

This is just the most amazing place, isn't it?

VO: In this room, there's something a bit more playful.

PHILIP: Now, that's knurr and spell, isn't it?

BARRY: Yes.

PHILIP: I know what that is, because I read a book once.

VO: Just the one, Philip?

It struck me as being quite the most bizarre game.

Can I touch it?

BARRY: Yes.

VO: Hm.

This traditional game was popular in the north of England in the 18th and 19th centuries.

PHILIP: Fires the ball up in the air... BARRY: Then you hit it.

...and you stand there and you whack it, don't you?

BARRY: Yeah.

I've got a real favor to ask...

Yes, we... PHILIP: Can I have a go?

BARRY: You can.

VO: So Barry's game.

PHILIP: Let's take it outside.

Well, I'm not going till I hit one!

VO: Well, we might be here for a while, then!

You ready for this?

Oof!

$%&!

You ready?

Oh...$%&!

I've lost me... Is it me knurr or me spell?

PHILIP: Which is which?

I've forgotten.

I'm going to hit one of these.

Stand back.

Ready?

Did you see that?

BARRY: Very good.

VO: Success!

But now Philip's getting cocky.

Oh, watch out for that car!

PHILIP: $%&!

Sorry.

I think I better hand you this back, Barry, before I do some damage some way or other.

Let's take it back inside.

Sorry about that.

VO: We can't take you anywhere, Philip!

PHILIP: You alright?

BARRY: Yeah.

VO: If you're quite finished causing mayhem, it's time to get back on the road.

VO: They're driving about 30 miles south, to Harworth, Nottinghamshire.

VO: Once a busy colliery town, Harworth is also home to one of Britain's sporting greats - the post-war road racing cyclist Tom Simpson.

THOMAS: Here we are - look.

VO: They're aiming for Harrison Antiques, where they're meeting the charming Christine.

Watch out, Christine!

THOMAS: Come on, Philip, get out.

How are you?

CHRISTINE: Alright, thank you.

I'm Thomas.

Pleased to meet you, Thomas.

PHILIP: Philip.

THOMAS: There's Philip.

VO: The boys are splitting up and heading into two different retail units that Christine owns.

Obviously this is where all the furniture and ceramics are.

Oh, brilliant.

Well, can I have a good... CHRISTINE: Yes, you... THOMAS: ...look around?

CHRISTINE: ...you have a good look round.

VO: And before long, Thomas has something in his sights.

THOMAS: Ooh, ooh, can I have a look at something in this cabinet?

VO: Thomas has a strategy.

He's going to try to find militaria and automotive items to combine into two job lots, with the toy car and a piece of trench art he's already bought.

Do you have any more sort of militaria things?

VO: He's spotted some medals and World War II rangefinder that fit in with his military theme, and a vintage pendant from the Le Mans sports car race that suits his motoring one.

THOMAS: What's that got to be?

And that as well?

There was no price on this.

CHRISTINE: Eh...right...

The Le Mans sort of... CHRISTINE: The Le Mans, yeah... We'll get a price and come back to you on that.

THOMAS: Thank you.

CHRISTINE: Right, I can do all the three for 35.

Oh, brilliant.

Well, that's definitely... Can we put that aside while I go looking upstairs and have a..?

CHRISTINE: Yes, you can, certainly.

VO: With those items reserved, he's unearthed something completely different.

THOMAS: You know what this is?

I don't, no.

Is you put a cartridge in there... Mm-mm?

...but it...and this goes in the ground...

I think it goes in the field... THOMAS: Moles?

But... CHRISTINE: Yeah...in the field.

Is it for moles?

Is it for..?

VO: It's a 19th-century device for frightening moles away.

Scary, if you're a mole!

He's interested, but before he can make an offer... THOMAS: That's my car!

VO: The heavens have opened outside, and there's no cover on the car.

Uh-oh!

Agh!

I'm getting wet!

This is a bit of a case of bolting the stable door...once the horse has bolted!

VO: It never rains but it pours.

Ee up, old chap!

Where's Philip in all of this?

Huh?

Oh, TP will do it!

Don't worry!

I give up!

VO: Oh, dear!

Going to go upstairs.

VO: You do that, then, Thomas.

Meanwhile, Philip is next door with dealer Roger.

And is dry, for the moment, though he's spotted something that might just change all that.

How much is that?

The canoe?

Yeah.

It's £180.

What's the death on that, then?

ROGER: The death on the canoe?

PHILIP: Yeah.

ROGER: ...could be 150.

PHILIP: I like that a lot.

ROGER: 'Tis very good.

PHILIP: How old is it?

ROGER: It'll be in the 1930s, 1940s, around that time.

PHILIP: I've got to try and buy it, if I can, somewhere just below the hundred mark.

Is that going to be possible, do you think?

Oh, I can't do it that low.

Alright.

ROGER: We don't mind an offer; we don't like insults.

I like that.

Can I use that?

Yeah, you can use that one, yeah.

You've got the copyright, have you?

Can I have look at it?

Can we get it down?

ROGER: Eh, we can lift it down, yeah.

PHILIP: So it's got these two paddles... Yeah.

PHILIP: Can you lift your bit down, then?

You ready?

ROGER: I'm ready.

VO: And while Roger's in this compromised position...

Right, I tell you what, don't go any further... Oh, bloody 'ell!

I'm coming off!

I'll give you 120 quid for it, seen, like this now.

PHILIP: Done deal?

ROGER: Done deal.

PHILIP: Right, you're on.

ROGER: Let's put it back, before we break something.

PHILIP: Fantastic!

VO: Hey, and you, Philip, are shameless!

Haggling with a man while he's got a boat above his head?!

PHILIP: Come on, let me shake you by the hand.

ROGER: Thank you.

PHILIP: I'd better pay you, hadn't I?

ROGER: Yeah - money, money.

PHILIP: There we are.

£120.

VO: Next door, it seems that even a good soaking can't dampen Thomas' spirits.

He's like a whirlwind, and seems to be pursuing the opposite strategy to the one-item Philip.

What have we got?

Oh, we got loads of stuff up here.

Toys!

VO: He's bouncing along with his plan to assemble two job lots themed around militaria and cars.

He's dug out an Egyptian military arm wrestling trophy - ha!

- and a 1950s Royal Engineers plaque.

Eclectic, eh?

THOMAS: There is method to my madness.

I promise.

VO: And he's found another piece of trench art, modeled from wartime detritus.

This is a paper knife.

VO: And...oh, no - something else!

I saw the Schuco car.

Similar sort of age, 1950s, I think.

Made in US Germany, yeah, so the Schuco toy, to go with that Le Mans thing.

VO: And another one.

I'm starting to think you're a shopaholic, Thomas.

THOMAS: Oh, go...got to have that.

Racing cars.

VO: And finally, a bag of buttons.

Phew!

Now, none of the pile of items Thomas has found has been priced up yet, so he's going to have to keep his wits about him when he speaks to Christine.

He's already been offered a deal of £35 for the Le Mans pendant, medals and rangefinder.

But what can she offer for the rest?

CHRISTINE: So if we say...25... Can I offer you 50 for the lot?

Go on, then.

Yep.

THOMAS: Yeah?

CHRISTINE: Yeah, I'll do that.

THOMAS: £50?

CHRISTINE: Yeah.

THOMAS: 50 nicker, for the lot.

CHRISTINE: Lovely.

THOMAS: Thank you very much.

CHRISTINE: Thank you very much.

VO: Terrific!

He gets a deal of £50 for the... (INHALES) ...medals, pendant, rangefinder, toy car, trophy and plaque, paper knife, tin and buttons.

Phoo!

But he's just remembered something.

There was one thing I saw and I forgot to buy.

VO: The mole scarer!

THOMAS: Now, I was...I forgot... That thing, over there, how much is that?

CHRISTINE: That one?

Can we just, sort of, throw that in?

CHRISTINE: £10.

THOMAS: Is it?

Is it?

A tenner, is it?

Could that be...a fiver?

Well, seeing as it's you, and seeing as you've had to stand in that rain putting that hood up, I'll do it for a fiver!

THOMAS: A fiver?

Right, OK. Let's see if I've got a fiver kicking about.

VO: Done!

I'm exhausted just watching you!

THOMAS: A fiver.

CHRISTINE: Cheers.

BOTH: Thank you very much.

VO: Both of our boys have their lots for auction, so they've repaired nearby to unveil their purchases.

Thomas is up first.

THOMAS: Oh, oh, oh, oh!

PHILIP: By the...oh!

THOMAS: Oh!

Look out, look out, look out!

VO: Carefully.

Lightning reactions!

Yes.

Mr Plant, in the library, with the candlestick.

VO: And who would he be killing, then, Philip?

THOMAS: This is my plethora of goods.

PHILIP: You've got some good things.

Isn't that a mole scarer?

But what that does then is cause a vibration... THOMAS: Yeah.

PHILIP: ...in that stick... THOMAS: Moles don't like that?

PHILIP: No, they hate vibrations THOMAS: Do they?

Well, cuz they don't really see, do they?

PHILIP: Well, they don't get out much, do they?

VO: Unlike you two!

Now, car-loving Phil has spotted the auto lot.

PHILIP: You got my stuff over there, Tom.

Yeah, you got some lovely toys... Can I look at the Schuco car?

Is it a Schuco car?

THOMAS: Oh, look at you, knowing about Schuco.

1950s.

Late 40s, early 50s.

PHILIP: That's fantastic.

THOMAS: He's sweet, isn't he?

PHILIP: Yeah.

You know, I love that.

I think that's your best bit by a country mile.

VO: High praise indeed.

Georgian candlesticks.

A tenner!

The sad thing is, they're worth £100, 150... THOMAS: Well, they were once.

PHILIP: ...but you won't get it.

THOMAS: No.

In today's market, they're like, as you say, Georgian sticks, they're 15 to 25 quid, aren't they?

Yeah.

I paid a tenner.

VO: So, modest expectations, but well received.

And now it's time for the venerable Philip to show Thomas his haul.

So, you've bought a collection of hats... PHILIP: Yeah.

THOMAS: Right, OK. Just the two, or..?

PHILIP: No, no, no, no - I've got a whole...thingummy full of...

I mean, are they all this size?

They do not fit.

VO: Well, they don't fit you.

PHILIP: They were £20, the lot.

THOMAS: £20 the lot?

Brilliant.

PHILIP: Yeah.

PHILIP: This my...my little, em... sort of traveling music stand, which cost me £30, but I bought these two with it, which are old indentures.

VO: Thomas is staying tight-lipped on that one.

And what about the big buy - too big, in fact, to fit in the room?

Well, look at that.

THOMAS: And then you've bought a boat!

PHILIP: I bought a boat, yeah.

THOMAS: You've bought a canoe!

I don't know why I bought it, really.

Well, no, I can see why you bought it.

That is a boy's dream, isn't it?

PHILIP: It is, yeah.

THOMAS: Um, I like that - I like that a lot.

PHILIP: Put that down.

THOMAS: I'm very jealous.

VO: But what do they say behind closed doors?

I think Thomas has done really well with his lots.

I love that little bit of automobilia that he's put together.

That Schuco car and the Le Mans pennant, they should do really, really well.

So, you know, he could be up there with me.

THOMAS: Well, it's all about Philip's boat, isn't it?

It's all about the canoe.

£120 paid.

That's a lot of money for old Phil to spend on one single object.

The other great thing is the folding music stand.

That's really, really, very, very nice.

But at the end of the day, it's all about Philip's boat.

VO: Today our intrepid pair began in York and have wandered through the land of the white rose to end up at their auction in Rotherham.

VO: Thurcroft, in the metropolitan borough of Rotherham, is another area with mining history.

Let's hope Thomas and Philip can dig deep as they head for Paul Beighton Auctioneers... THOMAS: Here we are!

VO: ..where Jody Beighton will be wielding the gavel.

VO: Thomas Plant started this leg with £258.10.

He spent £127 exactly on five lots.

Philip Serrell began this leg with £270.50.

He spent £210 on the nose, and also has five lots to show for it.

The auction is about to begin.

Gentlemen, starting positions please!

First up is Thomas' Archimedes drill.

What can it screw out of the punters?

Start me at bottom estimate.

£10.

10?

No.

JODY: Interesting item.

Five then, if you like.

£5.

Five I'm bid.

Thank you.

Take six.

Any advance?

Maiden bid then is at five.

No further interest?

At £5, then.

All done and sure?

VO: Mm.

A disappointing first lot.

Let's hope this isn't a sign of things to come.

Just like...a pickpocket, just taking a tenner out your pocket!

VO: Now, one for Philip - his whisky barrel.

Any interest at five?

We're away at £5.

Six at the back.

eight, 10, 12, 14.

It's against you, 16.

18.

At 16 down the front.

18 we're looking for.

Any advance?

At £16, then.

Going to sell.

They're unsalable, aren't they?

Yeah, but there's no justice.

He just swam the Channel with that!

VO: Philip seemed puzzled at his own success, but it reaps a modest reward.

You've made a profit.

Yeah.

VO: Next, Thomas' job lot of automobilia.

Will it race away?

Start us at £20.

I'll take 25.

25, 30, five.

40, I'm out.

Five.

50, five...

I said I'd give you 50 quid for it.

Yeah, you did.

JODY: ...£50, all done and sure?

That's alright.

Yeah.

VO: It's better than alright, Thomas!

You've doubled your money!

Now, Philip's combined lot of Victorian music stand and indentures.

10 to start.

For two indentures there, 10.

12, 14, 16, 18, 20, two... You're fine.

Speedy bidding.

Speedy bidding.

Any advance now?

22.

24.

At £22.

PHILIP: 22.

That has just been given away.

£22.

All done and selling at 22.

VO: Oh, crumbs!

Another loss for Philip.

I don't think there are many traveling musicians around Rotherham.

VO: Still, chin up, chaps - Thomas has another chance to light up the room with his pair of Georgian candlesticks.

JODY: 10 then, if you like.

12 bid.

14, 16, 18, 20.

One more, sir?

Go on!

At £18, then.

20 in the doorway.

Thank you.

22, 24, 26, 28.

At 26 and away.

VO: Another win for Thomas - great.

The candlesticks perform as predicted, and it's a respectable profit.

So far, Philip's on a bit of a sticky wicket.

Ha!

Can the toy bat and mangle squeeze a needed profit from the crowd?

16 straight in.

18, 20, two, 24.

26 now elsewhere?

Bid's at £24 in the seats.

Take 26.

Any advance?

At £24 and selling.

VO: Another small loss.

He's down, but not out.

Oh, dear.

Would you mind just not saying that with such a smile on your face?!

VO: I do like your evil side, Thomas.

Now, Thomas has a chance to widen his lead with his rustic spade and mole scarer - as you do!

£30.

20?

10 then, if you wish.

Let's crack on.

10 I'm bid.

Take 12.

Two items there, I'm bid at £10.

I'll give it 12.

No!

JODY: 12 bid.

14, 16, 18, 20, two, 24.

At 22, back of the room.

Take four.

Any advance?

We're bid £22.

Any further interest?

At £22.

24, in late there.

26.

28.

It's got a second wind.

At £26.

26.

Go on!

JODY: 26 and done.

VO: Looks like the only thing it scared away was bidders!

Do you know, there are occasions on a Sunday morning, when you get up, and you think "I should've stopped in bed"?

THOMAS: "Should've stayed in bed."

PHILIP: Yeah.

I think this is one of them.

VO: Philip badly needs a winner.

Will his hats prove he has a head for this game?

Ha!

16, we're looking for.

16.

18, 20, five...

There we are, 30.

Profit.

40, five, 50, five.

At 50 now...

Brilliant.

You see?

JODY: 55 we're looking for.

Any advance?

At £50, then.

All done and sure?

You must be pleased.

I am, I'm pleased with that, but I'm so anxious about this boat.

VO: But hats off, Philip - that was an astute buy.

PHILIP: I'm really, really anxious about this.

I've never seen you this about anxious about... Well, I am, because I could go and do 70 quid, couldn't I?

Don't be so ridiculous, you'll be fine.

VO: Now, the second of Thomas' big job lots.

Will his militaria charge to victory?

40.

30.

20, let's get on.

20 I'm bid.

Thank you.

Take 25.

Bid's at £20... Oh, dear.

All that work.

22, 24, 26, 28, 30, five... No.

It's not got the legs.

JODY: ...at £35.

40 with you?

We're under estimate there.

At £35.

Disappointing.

40 with you?

At 35 and away.

That's bad news.

VO: Sadly, it's a big loss for a big lot.

He's in trouble if Philip's canoe doesn't sink.

That's a hideous loss!

VO: Philip's canoe is up last.

Can he paddle to victory?

JODY: 50.

Somebody start me.

Start where you like, it's here to sell.

50, we're in.

60 we're looking for now.

Any advance.

I'm bid £50, back of the room.

Told you 50.

JODY: Any advance at all?

Looking for 60.

It's at £50.

Seems cheap.

Yeah.

JODY: At £50, then.

It must sell.

Did tell you 50 quid, didn't I?

THOMAS: Yeah.

PHILIP: Yeah.

VO: And he's up the creek without the proverbial.

Bad luck.

So what are we going to do now?

Well, I tell you what I'm not going to do is I'm not going buy any more canoes.

VO: That's sensible.

VO: Philip started this leg with £270.50.

After paying auction costs, he made a stinging loss of £77.16, giving him a disappointing £193.34 to carry forward.

VO: While Thomas started with £258.10.

He lost a comparatively modest £10.52, giving him £247.54 to carry forward, and making him the de facto winner of this ill-starred auction.

THOMAS: Why are you looking so forlorn?

That wasn't good, that, you know.

Cuz you were doing really alright until that canoe happened.

I think the people of Rotherham aren't quite ready for canoes.

No.

VO: Cheer up, chaps.

And onto the next leg!

Thomas and Philip live life in the fast lane.

THOMAS: This is brilliant!

VO: Well - ha!

- most of the time!

PHILIP: We're auctioneers, not engineers.

THOMAS: I know that!

subtitling@stv.tv