VOICEOVER (VO): Some of the nation's favorite celebrities... Sensational!

VO: ..one antiques expert each...

This is Ch'ien-lung.

Ch'ien-lung.

Well done.

VO: ..and one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...

I am going to kill him.

VO: ..and auction them for a big profit... 55, a new bidder, thank you.

VO: ..further down the road?

Who will spot the good investments?

Who will listen to advice?

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

Time to put your metal to the pedal - this is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

VO: Hello and welcome to our star-studded antiques extravaganza.

Seat belts on, please.

TONY (TB): Good morning everyone.

Welcome to the exciting new sound of Radio 1.

VO: We've got Tony Blackburn - the man who first put needle to vinyl on Radio 1's inaugural pop show, way back in... Well, it was a while ago.

Well there you go, that's Sherry and she's going to be dancing with Pan's People all the way through 1973.

VO: And this lovely lady is Toyah Willcox - you know, from the '80s.

She's had more New Romantic hit records than I've had old romantic evenings.

TOYAH (TW): He says that, but I'm going to spank his bottom.

VO: Hmm... Lovely as they are, these entertainers have no idea what they're doing on an antiques road trip all by themselves.

They'll be driving in this rather splendid 1978 Morgan.

And we've given them this fine pair of antiques experts - auctioneers Charlie Ross and Charles Hanson.

CHARLIE (CR): £6?!

CHARLES (CH): Yes, Charlie Ross!

Oh!

Dick Turpin, you are!

You ought to wear a mask!

VO: With his hair cut especially for us, Charlie Ross is an expert who knows what he's doing.

Well, most of the time...

He carries on buying and buying and why, why, why?

VO: Why?

Then there's Charles Hanson with a fine short back and sides and just a little off the top.

He's also rather charming.

CH: I'm going... DEALER: Nice to meet you.

..and I'm... gone.

VO: Our celebrities have £400 each to get out there and get shopping, with the express task of making a profit at a bona fide auction.

Can they spot a great item and get an even better deal?

TB: So are you into antiques?

I'm an armchair TV expert, in that I watch every program on telly.

How about you?

Erm...

I'm...

I know nothing about antiques.

I am one now.

Oh, bless you.

If I can't find anything over the value of £30, I'm selling you.

VO: Our two new friends are about to become competitors, so let's hope the experts are ready to lend a hand.

CH: Charlie, I really can't wait, and I think what we must remember is no matter who our wing men or wing ladies are, it's a battle between you and I.

Absolutely!

VO: That's the spirit, Carlos!

Tony and Toyah - and Charlie and Charles - will travel a whopping 250 miles down the east of England, towards the auction in Stansted.

But our celebrities and experts first need to meet and greet in grand old York.

Look!

There they are.

Wahey!

Smoothadorey!

Let me get you out, madam.

TW: Thank you very much.

CR: Are you Toyah?

TW: Yes.

CR: I'm Charlie.

Oh, hello, darling.

I'm in love!

So am I!

CR: Hello, Tony.

(THEY EXCHANGE GREETINGS) CR: So are you an antiques collector?

Furniture, paintings, china.

And what about you, Tony?

Well, I'm not really a great antique...

I am a great antique!

If I go into a shop, I have to keep moving, otherwise somebody will buy me.

Shall we go shopping?

Go on!

Off you go shopping.

We're all back to when antiques were really antiques.

TW: Toy boy, come here.

CH: Furniture.

CR: Bye, dear!

CH: All of that.

Good luck.

Bye!

It's sad, really, isn't it?

They think they're going to win.

Let them knock themselves out and then we'll just go in there and buy the right stuff, because I think that you are the one.

CR: I think so.

TB: Yeah.

VO: And now our new partnerships must head off on their first... well, not date exactly...

I'm a lucky man, Toyah - you and I... in York.

Are we gonna be lucky today?

CH: Yes, I hope so.

TW: That's what I want to know.

I've got my best three-piece suit on.

It's dead on trend.

Thanks very much, Toyah!

Mind the cyclist.

Sorry.

CR: I think you'd stand a better with the negotiating.

You think so?

They'll say, "That nice Mr Blackburn.

"We'll let him have it for nothing."

TB: Yeah.

CR: What do you reckon?

I'll plead insanity.

That will do it, because nobody's going to argue with that one.

CR: Do you have a sort of favorite period?

Art deco?

Art nouveau?

Anything you say!

VO: So there's clearly no beginning to Tony Blackburn's antiques knowledge.

How about his celebrity rival?

We're quite a quirky pair, aren't we?

I think something quirky, a bit unusual, a bit different.

Also, we are interested in Japan and China as well, and there's some really interesting things there, slightly above our price range, but I think we should have a look and take everything.

Yeah, I agree.

CR: I love that cigarette box.

No.

Who wants a cigarette box in this day and age?

But don't you think it takes us back to a golden age, of a jazz age, dimly lit interiors and smoking... TW: How old are you?

CR: Um...

I'm... TW: You're much younger than me.

CR: 34, I'm 34.

TW: You're 34, OK. CR: I'm 34, yeah.

TW: Charles... CH: Yes.

TW: You're a baby, alright?

CH: Well, that's OK.

I shall follow your lead.

We're not buying cigarette boxes unless they're solid silver or solid gold.

OK. VO: Sounds like Toyah has a plan, and one or two ideas.

Tony might have to learn fast.

Or seek out further assistance.

This is really interesting, this little nut there.

19th century Black Forest.

You don't see too much Black Forest around, and it's an inkwell.

Oh, it's an inkwell, is it?

DEALER: Yeah.

TB: Oh yeah.

It would have had, usually, a little glass liner inside, otherwise the ink would soak through the wood.

So would that reduce its value?

It could do, but it's still an interesting little piece.

That's how much?

DEALER: That one is 45.

TB: 45.

And something like this... Can you do a deal on that one, as a matter of interest?

DEALER: Yes, I'm sure we can... TB: You can?

Yes, I think we could probably do 35 on that.

35?

Yeah, I like that.

Mr Blackburn.

What are you doing on your knees, with a young lady?!

She's just showing me this here, which I think might be quite a nice item.

I have to say, I like that.

Did you spot that or were you led there by Claire?

Well, I can't remember.

It's for £45, but Claire has very kindly said... CR: She'd do it for a tenner?

TB: ..we can have it for 35.

CR: Oh!

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: Our celebrities have really got cracking.

But that £400 won't spend itself.

Who will be the first to grasp the nettle and actually buy something for auction?

TW: Oh, I love that.

Chinese, Song dynasty, 13th century.

VO: The Song dynasty is often referred to as the "Chinese renaissance", between 960 and 1279AD - a time of relative peace and great leaps forward in technology and design.

The market for old and ancient Chinese wares is huge right now.

However, items need to be in tip-top condition to make the money.

CR: The joy of handling, Toyah... TW: Oh, ho-ho!

CR: ..antiques, is when you imagine where it's been.

It's just...

I love the color of the glaze, it's just beautiful!

CR: Toyah, feel it.

TW: Oh, I just..

Believe it.

I want to own it.

Feel the history, OK, just feel it.

Is it saying to you "buy me"?

Well it is saying to me "buy me" and I'd like to have it personally - I absolutely adore it.

But look at that break.

Michael, in your experience, a break like that, would it put a buyer off with something this old?

Not necessarily, bearing in mind the age of the item.

How much?

It could be yours for 195.

And your best offer, Michael?

£175 would be the best.

150?

It's just that crack, I mean, that's one hell of a... That's why it's the price it is.

It's one hell of a break.

CR: I like it a lot.

TW: I love it.

150 will be our offer.

Agreed?

Well, I'll make the phone call and we'll see what he says.

VO: Whilst Toyah and Charles wait for the green light on this fascinating piece, Tony and Charlie have found their own peculiar slice of history.

Now, I had a look at an object in here.

Yes?

It's a bronze plaque.

Yes.

Have a look at that, Tony.

Enameled.

"1936, Olympiade Berlin".

It's not a medal.

No.

I'm sure it's not a medal, but it could have been a plaque that was given to somebody merely for competing, but it's such a high quality item.

Can't have been given to everybody, can it?

No.

There is a little bit of damage there.

If it wasn't damaged, I would then perhaps think, "Is this a repro?"

Yeah.

What does it say on it?

Oh, it's all in German, isn't it?

"Fur Verdienste um die nine Olympiade, Berlin 1936".

You must have read and heard a lot about the 1936 Olympic Games in Germany.

TB: Yes.

Absolutely, yes.

CR: You know, which was Hitler's great showpiece, and this black man from America came over, Jesse Owens... TB: Yeah, Jesse Owens, yeah.

CR: Won 100 meters, 200 meters, I think the 400 meters and I think the relay, and Hitler got so angry about this, he got up and stormed out.

VO: The 1936 Olympics became a public humiliation for Hitler on a worldwide stage.

Black American athlete Jesse Owens broke 11 world records and won four gold medals.

Many antiques dealers steer clear of trading in Nazi items - however, for collectors of sporting memorabilia, the Berlin Olympics are a reminder that sport can triumph over politics.

And how much is this?

They're asking 135.

Now, I'd love to pay about £75 for it.

DEALER: Right.

CR: Would you try?

DEALER: Might be a bit high.

CR: Could you try him?

I can try contact him, yeah.

Reiterate what a nice man CR: Mr Blackburn is... DEALER: I will.

..and how little money he's got.

We're not here to twist your arm and for you to lose money, are we?

TB: Yes, we are.

CR: Are we?

(THEY LAUGH) TB: Yes, we are!

CR: I like your attitude!

You're warming to this, aren't you?

Yes.

I'll just go and give the dealer a call for you.

CR: Thank you very much indeed.

DEALER: No problem.

VO: Unfortunately, the seller is momentarily unavailable, and our Olympic hopefuls must press on with their shopping.

TB: Thank you very much.

CR: Now, I'm going to leave you CR: my telephone number.

DEALER: Yeah.

Charlie Ross... is my name.

One last ditch effort - what do you think about that nut?

I do like that nut.

I think 35 you offered the nut for, didn't you, Claire?

Yes.

TB: We can't get down a little bit lower than that, can we?

DEALER: 30?

TB: Ooh...

Your call.

25, let's say 25 and we've got a barg... we've got a deal there, on 25.

Well, seeing as it's you, Tony, you're such a lovely man... CR: Blackburn, my old socks... DEALER: ..we'll do it.

TB: Thank you!

CR: You've done a deal!

VO: I think Mr Blackburn might have found his secret weapon: charm.

Perhaps this loveable, senior appeal can compensate for his fairly worrying lack of antiques knowledge.

VO: Now, where are we?

About £150 on the Chinese vase, wasn't it?

I wonder if this was an equivalent of a tourist piece from Blackpool.

I almost wonder, you know, if it was made for burial.

If it's something quite ceremonial.

Hello, hi, I have some very good news.

Very, very good news?

Very good news.

Is it even cheaper?

He's accepted £150 that you're offering.

Fantastic, that's great.

Thank you.

How should we pay?

What do you mean?

Should we pay in 20s or 10s?

Oh, 20s.

OK, 20s.

There we go.

TW: Fusspot!

CH: Sorry.

Many thanks.

VO: That's a great start for Toyah and Charles.

I think the signs are good for the road ahead.

When is the world going to end?

Soon?

That could be any time though.

(PHONE RINGS) May I help you?

Hello?

It is Charlie, yeah.

What are you, my dear?

You are a legend.

We'll head on back and we'll give you 75 quid.

Got it.

What a legend!

Fantastic.

Blackburn, you and I are cooking on gas!

VO: Whilst Tony tries to remember what they've just bought - ha!

- Charlie is delighted to get the Olympic plaque for their asking price of just £75.

Meanwhile, in a cheeky break from their shopping, our new romantics are about to go all gothic.

This is York Minster by the way.

I know it's York Minster!

Sorry.

Oh, hello!

Hello!

I'm Toyah.

I'm John.

Welcome to York Minster.

I'm a carillonneur.

I play bells, but not the sort where you swing on the ropes.

VO: Glad to hear it... York Minster is a magnificent gothic edifice, on the same site as the first wooden structure, hurriedly built here in 627AD to baptize Edwin - king of Northumbria.

Since then, it's been built, destroyed, rebuilt, damaged and repaired more times than Charles Hanson's had light suppers.

The current structure largely intact since the mid 13th century.

Wow!

It's great.

Wow!

Wow!

And here we are in the south transept, which is the oldest part of the present building, dates from 1220.

30 years before our Chinese vase.

TW: Oh, that's incredible!

CH: There you go.

History, isn't it?

JOHN: And this is now the largest gothic cathedral north of the Alps.

It has the largest amount of medieval stained glass I think anywhere in this country.

Still existing.

Possibly in the world.

VO: In 2008, a huge restoration project began, to remove every single piece of stained glass - repaint, reset and relead.

No mean feat when there's two million individual pieces around the building.

JOHN: This is our famous bell window.

It was made round about the year 1330.

It was given by a man called Richard Tunnock, who lived just across the road in Stonegate, and he was a York bell founder.

VO: This stunning medieval window graphically depicts the craft of casting a church bell from a wax mold.

The bells for York Minster were made by local bell founder Richard Tunnock, who died in 1330.

JOHN: In the central panel, we have Richard Tunnock himself, and above his hands is actually a picture of this window, which he's presenting to St William of York.

VO: Absolutely stunning!

A great, uplifting work of human achievement.

Now, can our antiques shoppers reach their own summit?

We can have a break on the way up.

OK.

I must admit, I usually do.

When you say "break", do you mean like a cup of tea and a piece of cake?

Yeah, yeah.

OK. Oh, it's beautiful!

It's light and sunny.

JOHN: Isn't it wonderful?

TW: If we touch one of these, we'll shoot through the roof.

JOHN: I would prefer it if you didn't touch them.

How hard do you pull?

Really hard?

VO: Hanson, that goes for you too.

Behave yourself.

These bells are the fourth heaviest pealer bells in the country, so if you pull one of those, the rope will go up through that little hole, but you won't.

We're here to see the carillon, which is... Carillon?

Carillon, yeah.

It's a French word, really, but it just means "bells".

VO: According to the English dictionary, a carillon is "a stationary set of chromatically tuned bells in a tower".

York Minster's carillon is separate to the pulled church bells and is the only one of its kind in England.

John has the very privileged position as its keyboardist, or carillonneur.

And we play it that way.

And can the whole of York hear that?

Yes!

It's a very public instrument.

CH: I know a tune.

TW: You do?

Yeah.

Excuse me.

(PLAYS "CHOPSTICKS" OUT OF KEY) CH: Something like that, yeah?

JOHN: Something like that!

Half of York now think that the monks have been on the fortified wine!

CH: Where are the bells for this?

Are they upstairs here?

JOHN: Yeah, they are.

The bells are two floors above this ringing chamber.

Why don't you play and I'll go upstairs to have a listen to you?

Yeah.

That'd be great, OK.

The bells aren't that big.

Really.

VO: Er, Charles, did you see the... er... Never mind.

(BELLS RING LOUDLY) That is absolutely brilliant.

TW: Was it loud?

CH: What did you say?

Was it loud?!

Yes, it was, very, very loud.

My ears are ringing.

Aw!

I've been so mean to you.

VO: You just can't take him anywhere.

As York's wonderful treasures fall on deaf ears, the bell tolls for our other celebrity-auctioneer combo, still keeping it real on this prestigious shopping trip.

Good grief, they've got some odd things in here.

What's that?

Tony, I think the best thing is to do what we did before - you have a look, I'll have a look, because I trust your eye now.

You've got a very good eye, and what is more, I trust your powers of bargaining.

They're much better than mine.

Just spotted two fans.

VO: Oh dear.

More than you've had all your life!

TB: Yeah!

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: (SIGHS) Luckily, this day is nearly over.

Just let's get on with it, shall we?

CR: That weather vane, can you see it, with the horse attached to it?

It's got a bit of age.

I mean, it's not...

I don't think it's Victorian, but I think it's probably 1920s, 1930s.

I think that's just got a bit of...

I can't see...

They've got big bottoms, you know, haven't they?

What, horses?

Horses, yeah.

(THEY LAUGH) Could you hold this ladder?

I'm going to go up and look at the price.

Yeah, sure.

God's sake, make sure it doesn't come away from the wall.

Yeah, I will.

There you go.

I've done some silly things to find a price in my time, but... 90 quid.

I tell you what, I'd pay 40 quid for it.

TB: So that is the sort of thing that sells, is it?

In my experience, a reasonable weather vane will sell.

I'll hide... And if you get the deal, Tone... Alright.

I'll buy you a drink tonight.

TB: 30 quid?

CR: Yeah.

Alright.

How about 40, can we go to 40?

Now Tony, don't start being pessimistic!

Alright, 30 quid, alright.

Ram home that 30.

Sorry, I'd forgotten to hang on to the ladder!

Give them... give 'em...

I can't get down.

VO: Mr Blackburn has clearly impressed Charlie with his powers of persuasion.

Could this be Tony's moment to go it alone with a cold, hard haggle?

This weather vane up here.

£30 - how does that sound to you?

You know, it's been up there for a little while TB: and it's got cobwebs on it.

DEALER: It has, yes.

Yeah.

We know what the price is up there.

What has it got up there?

You want me to tell you?

90.

90, but you're such a lovely guy, could you do it for 30 quid?

Yes, I'd... go on, I'd do it DEALER: for £30 for you.

TB: Really?

DEALER: Yes.

TB: Fantastic.

Charlie?

This i... Yeah?

You know that weather vane there?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got it for £200.

Don't be stupid!

That's more than the ticket price!

TB: You said £30.

CR: I said try them at 30.

I managed to get it for 30.

Tony, if only I'd said 20!

VO: Charlie Ross now has a new policy: if in doubt, unleash Blackburn!

Blackburn, we're cooking on gas here.

We've just been sort of horsing around, haven't we?

VO: Oh no... "Neigh", that's not too cheap.

VO: OK, that's enough of that.

Let's go.

What a day it's been.

Between plucky celebrities and responsible antiques experts, we've all run this town ragged.

Shopping time is done, so York must provide warm bedding and clean towels for our weary gang of four.

Bonne nuit!

As the new day dawns, our celebrities and experts are still more than enamored with the delights of York.

TB: Hey, this could be quite useful, look.

If it starts raining.

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: So far, Tony and Charlie have spent £130 on three auction lots - the Black Forest carved inkwell, the Olympic Games plaque and the equestrian weather vane.

Team Blackburn-Ross has £270 for the day ahead - and still plenty of life in those old dogs.

CR: OK, Mr Blackburn... TB: Here we go.

..I'll take you to heaven.

And back.

And back.

As long as we come back.

VO: Toyah and Charles, meanwhile, took the first day's shopping easy, spending a cool £150 on just one lot - the Chinese burial jar.

Or vase.

Team Willcox-Hanson still has £250 left to show us they mean business.

..60... VO: So, our celebrities are finding that actual antiques buying is often harder than it looks.

However, one man has lived through real tumultuous times and made them his own, from pirate ship broadcasting to purveyor of pop on Radio 1.

I read an advertisement in the New Musical Express, wanting disk jockeys for Radio Caroline, and I'd seen a program... CR: Which was the ship.

TB: The ship, yeah, out on the North Sea.

And considered illegal at the time?

TB: Yeah, it was, yeah.

We flew under the Panamanian flag, so if anybody came on board, you were in effect declaring war on Panama.

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: Ah, the glory days!

Our pair of old groovers are taking a break from shopping to visit an exhibition down at York Castle Museum.

All about a much-loved decade.

CR: Did you have a scooter?

TB: I had a...

Yes, that's the first thing I ever had, a Lambretta.

Oh gee.

Vroom, vroom, vroom!

Do you remember that...?

I think I was about 17 and I was so in love with Marianne Faithfull.

Have you ever met her?

I have, yes.

CR: Oh, you rotter!

(THEY CHUCKLE) It's Top of the Pops - you met everybody at Top of the Pops.

CR: But the fact that she was female and had just come out of a convent, I mean, it all got very exciting - for me!

Did you have drainpipe trousers?

TB: Yeah.

CR: Long hair?

You've still got most of yours.

TB: Yeah.

CR: Impressive.

I had a terrific crush on Petula Clark.

CR: Never went out with her?

TB: No.

You're just saying that.

VO: No other decade in living memory garners such passionate nostalgia as the 1960s - especially for the younger old duffers.

It was a decade that witnessed great accelerations in design, technology, liberty, social mobility and just plain old freedom, man!

CR: What have we got here?

I don't think it's the actual capsule.

No.

End of the '60s, man landed on the moon.

Yeah.

Neil Armstrong, "one small step for man" or something.

Mankind.

Yeah, "one large"... Oh, I can't remember the words!

It was amazing, wasn't it?

VO: Well, it was a long time ago.

But I believe Mr Armstrong mentioned a "great leap for mankind".

NASA's first moon landing was arguably the most unforgettable moment from the 1960s, for those who remember it.

Ha!

CR: I wonder what the first record was that you played the next morning, cuz everybody was talking about it.

Everybody was talking about the moment.

CR: "Did you see it?"

TB: Well, I'll tell you.

CR: Yeah?

TB: I can't remember.

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: In fact, Tony, you weren't working that morning - Radio 1 and 2 played a moon landing special of news and updates.

Still, you know what they say - if you can remember the Sixties, then you weren't really there!

CR: What did you like playing most of all?

TB: Oh, Motown.

When I went to Radio 1 eventually, I would make sure we had Motown, Diana Ross and the Supremes.

Black soul music, it doesn't sound dated.

It had that unique sound, I just loved it.

I've always been an awful dancer, but the only thing I can dance to is the twist.

D'you remember the twist?

You're not going to do the twist for me, Mr Blackburn?

I'm hoping you'll dance with me.

CR: May I?

TB: There we are.

MUSIC: "Let's Twist Again" by Chubby Checker CR: This is it!

TB: Hey!

# Clap your hands # We're gonna do the twist BOTH: # And it goes like this!

# Come on Let's twist again... # Hang on!

# Like we did last summer # Let's twist again # Like we did last year # Do you remember when # We had a twist last summer?

# You're a better mover than I am, Blackburn.

Blackburn, are you going to get slightly embarrassed by this?

Ooh, round and round and up and down... VO: Thank goodness this is a private viewing - oh!

Still, if you're looking for icons from an iconic decade, you don't need to look too far.

(THEY CHUCKLE) TB: I don't believe it.

Have you had that made up for the occasion?

Certainly not.

This, actually... Are you being serious?

No, no.

This is the cornerstone of this museum.

Who is that?

Well, it's me with Johnny Beerling.

He was my first producer on Radio 1... How... ..and he eventually became the controller of Radio 1 and didn't renew my contract.

(THEY CHUCKLE) BOTH: "Sensational"!

Doesn't that make you feel proud?

It does, it does.

CR: It jolly well should do.

TB: Really does.

TB: I'm very flattered.

CR: You are part of the '60s.

TB: Good Lord.

CR: I think that's phenomenal.

TB: Mmm.

CR: Come on!

VO: Charlie Ross, you fortunate fellow - who else would get to stroll through an iconic era with one of its leading lights?

However, it's about time we got this road trip back on the road.

Our celebrities have sought out a bit of me-time and, to be perfectly honest, I think everyone fancies a bit of a goss.

Charlie made me do the negotiations, and I managed to knock down the price quite considerably.

Who's going to argue with a national institution, Tony Blackburn?

I mean, anyone that argues with you is a criminal.

CH: The lady in front that I'm following now is up my... Up my... What's the phrase?

Up my... VO: Street?

VO: Anyhow, York is finally departed and our combative duos are heading on, 28 miles northeast to glittering Pickering.

Pickering is properly, properly old - first founded in 207BC.

Any more for this train, please?

VO: Some time later, in 1832, that great man of railways - George Stevenson - received his desired £130,000 to build a rail link between Pickering and Whitby.

This wonderful steam-driven line is still operated by enthusiasts today.

TB: Oh!

CH: This is great.

Pickering Castle, parish church.

Oh, this is beautiful!

VO: Team Willcox-Hanson have still got a lot of money to burn and a fairly empty swag bag for auction - time to get a wriggle on.

What's our plan today?

You know, we've got one item.

We've got one expensive, speculative item.

Yes.

Yeah.

We now have to find something that we know is rock solid.

VO: Indeed.

Those auction profits won't make themselves!

So let's see what fine items are waiting for you at Pickering's JSC Collectibles.

So Toyah, this is a marrow scoop here.

It was a fine delicacy in the 17th century, 18th century, to take bone marrow out of... Oh, bone marrow!

That's it, yes.

You'd scoop it out.

This is a later one.

The early ones had a spoon on one end in which you'd eat it from, and a sort of very thin end like that.

Does it have a practical use today?

I think it takes us back to the delicacies that our ancestors used to enjoy taking.

VO: Whilst Charles dodges Toyah's question, the practical use would have been to scoop out marrow from large cattle bones - a particular fine food of yesteryear.

But today it may potentially offer a profit at auction.

CH: Do you eat marrow?

TW: No!

Ever tried it?

I'm sure I have.

I'm sure you have.

But I'd find it a bit too gruesome to have an instrument to eat it with.

VO: At £220, it might be a bit risky - perhaps there's a less gruesome investment opportunity elsewhere.

But would this be the right team to find it?

I think Charles is excellent.

I have to keep an eye on his quirky choices.

I think he's not as competitive as me, and he thinks quirkiness is always going to be a winning gamble, but I think I've got the best partner - I'm so chuffed to be with him.

Toyah's knowledge is fantastic and she's so driven to find a bargain.

She's great.

I'm so pleased it's Hanson and Toyah together.

VO: Great, but can our antiques contenders deliver a knockout punch?

We like your boxer dog.

See if it's a limited edition...

It's A Knockout.

I did the royal It's A Knockout.

DEALER: Oh did you?

I helped organize it, for my sins.

VO: Yes...

Difficult to know what to say, isn't it?

Possibly, to the untrained eye, this boxing boxer might look... well, a bit undesirable for £28.

However, these Beswick collectable figures can be very collectable.

And profitable.

Made in around 1999, so it's not overly old, but he's a good 10-year-old man, isn't he?

I quite like him.

You think he's sellable?

I think he's very salable.

You'd want to buy him for about £20 in my opinion.

Do it for 22.

Caroline, all is fair in love and war, OK?

Will you take £20 for it?

Go on, then.

Yes!

Fantastic.

Aw, thank you, Caroline.

How can fail with that?

VO: Well done, Team Toyah.

However, I think I'd have gone for the silver marrow scoop, personally.

And speaking of old bones... Look at this, Sooty!

Oh, don't do that!

There's Sweep!

There's Sweep!

Oh, I don't believe it!

Sooty and Sweep.

Sooty... Oh, hello!

CR: Bye-bye, everybody.

BOTH: Bye-bye.

Oh, don't do that.

CR: Sooty, don't do that!

TB: Don't do that.

VO: Come on, muppets - time to get on with some serious work.

CR: Do you know what this is?

TB: Just a spoon, isn't it?

CR: Yes.

What for?

No, no, you're going well.

Er... CR: It's a caddy spoon.

TB: Caddy spoon.

You've heard of a tea caddy.

Yes, of course.

It's shell-shaped, which is very nice, and I suspect this is Georgian.

This is going to be an 18th century spoon.

Isn't it amazing when you handle something like this, you think to yourself, 1780... ..80, yeah.

..how many people have used that?

And the history behind that.

How many people have actually scooped up some...?

CR: Absolutely amazing.

TB: It's incredible, isn't it?

VO: Tony's got it.

Provenance is one of the many joys of antiques.

Another one is negotiation - what can you do on £110?

What would you say about, say, £35?

35!

Now I faint!

If you can go up a little bit more, we'll see what we can come to.

I think 40 would be... JANET: 40... TB: 40 would be...

I'd be happy to buy it at 40.

Mr Blackburn is... CR: You're not wildly happy.

TB: You're not happy with 40, TB: are you?

JANET: We'll do it for 40.

TB: Will you really?

JANET: We'll do it for 40.

CR: Janet, are you seriously happy with that?

JANET: No, that's fine, yes.

TB: Thank you.

And you get a kiss from Tony Blackburn!

Oh, there you go!

That is worth... 20 quid in itself.

If she knew that was going to happen, it would have gone up to 50!

(THEY LAUGH) JANET: Bye.

TB: Thank you very much.

CR: Bye-bye.

What a lovely lady, wasn't she?

Wasn't she the nicest?

You have a way with the women.

VO: Tony Blackburn certainly knows how to haggle.

And turn on the charm.

However, it's competitive Toyah who has the drive and a bit of an eye for antiques.

TW: What do you think of this pepper shaker?

That's really nice.

That's... Well, Birmingham, 1901, and what I love about it is the delightful sort of Dutch scene of figures maybe at some sort of fete.

TW: A fete?!

CH: Fetes.

TW: No, this is... CH: Don't you go to fetes?

..spring time fertility - this is the coming of summer.

CH: Is it?

The bringing of the children into the world.

Is it?

I thought it was a fete.

A fete?

That's very, very nice, but 165, what do you think?

Well, could... Do you think we could bring it down at all?

DEALER: Can I help?

Yeah, we just quite like the dredger.

Very, very much.

Erm...

I'll do that for 125 for you.

And between friends?

I thought we were!

(THEY LAUGH) Toyah, is it heavy?

Has it got some weight to it?

TW: It's delicate.

DEALER: Yes.

TW: It feels beautiful.

DEALER: Yes.

I think that's gorgeous.

It is gorgeous.

And your absolute very best?

Well, bearing in mind it'd be heavier when you've got the pepper in... CH: Yes.

DEALER: 125.

125.

Thanks, "mate"!

Thanks, mate - thanks for coming!

But does it come with the pepper?

Er, well, it can do, for that price.

Oh, well done!

VO: Well, you pair certainly "condiment" each other!

Sorry, I'll leave the jokes to Blackburn.

But I think we're heading in the right direction with a nice bit of silver - anything else?

Probably modern, but they're a full set.

CH: What are they, napkin rings?

TW: They're napkin rings.

I think they're very stylish, aren't they?

They're stylish.

If it's not silver, if it's not pedigree, if it's not provenance, another really important factor is novelty and style.

I think they're something which are worth speculating on, I really do.

They're nice.

Dan?

Yeah?

Can I ask you something?

You can.

What period do you think these are?

I don't think there's any massive age to those, to be absolutely honest with you, but they're really nice color and they're just fun, aren't they?

So what's the best you could offer on those?

What have we got on there?

45.

How about a straight 30 quid?

And between friends and between a very stylish lady?

We are, indeed, between...!

(THEY CHUCKLE) Er... Go on, I'll do 25 quid, and make sure you get a profit.

Look at us.

£25, what do you think?

That's good, that's really good.

Yeah, that's really good.

DAN: You can't lose on that.

VO: They're certainly novel and ticking Hanson's quirky box.

Any chance you might, oh, I don't know, buy some antiques today?

We still need that big star buy.

Is that for me to find?

Well, I think it is, cuz you're the expert.

Well, thanks for reminding me again!

Come on.

VO: We'd all love a star buy, but are you sure you haven't passed one already?

So what is this, Caroline?

Marrow spoon.

Marrow spoon.

Will this impress Charlie if I get this?

Oh yeah.

It will, will it?

VO: Ah, here we go again.

Toyah and Charles have already dismissed this lovely marrow scoop at £220.

Can we do that for 100?

On your knees, Blackburn!

Yeah, alright, alright.

Can we please?

This is something I thought I'd never see!

Can we please have this for £100?

DEALER: Yes.

CR: Yes!

Blackers!

TB: Oh, thank you!

VO: Hats off again.

It must be the amazing allure of the Celebrity Antiques Road Tripper that's simply irresistible.

This lady is saying flea market to us.

Have you been to the flea market?

With all sorts of things being sold there?

Antiques and everything.

Vintage, everything?

Right the way round.

Now, that sounds your style, girl.

Oh, look at all this, this is our sort of place.

Look, Toyah.

Oh wow!

Toyah, were lava lamps at your time?

For goodness' sakes, we're looking for antiques!

Was chintz your time?

I am going to kill him.

VO: I know the feeling.

But please let Charles find some antiques first.

Or at least a profitable collectable.

You put it on the floor, like that.

TW: Then you push it along.

CH: It will... Oops.

It will play the drum, won't it?

Like that.

And, instinctively to you, how old do you think that is?

1950?

I think it's probably Japanese and probably 1960s.

He's really great.

Love him.

It's £12 and I think someone's going to pay... a bit more for it than that.

What's the best price?

£8?

10.

No.

10.

£10.

I think it's worth doing.

Yeah.

And between friends?

DEALER: 10.

CH: £10.

Well, if you don't ask, you don't get, do you?

I think that's really worth trying.

Yeah.

I think...

I like him.

There's £10, we're a bit short of time, OK. What's he like?

It's like being in a Keystone Cop movie!

Toyah!

VO: Fantastic.

For once, I am with Hanson whole-heartedly - this is just the kind of frantic, impassioned antiques shopping I like... Come on, keep this fire burning.

This is quite a nice cane, isn't it?

DEALER: Malacca cane, very, very nice.

How early is it?

Turn of the century, would you say?

Not hallmarked at all, is it?

It isn't, but I believe it is silver.

It's just nice quality.

What's the very best, out of interest, at £45?

32.

And between really good friends?

No, honestly, I can't... £32?

30.

OK. 30.

I like it.

Very, very best, Will, is... Don't keep doing this to me.

My very, very best on that is £28.

VO: Protest if you like, sir, but this pair won't stop pushing.

I don't know how old he is, Will.

He's not old at all, but he's an artist's bear, handmade.

CH: Well, I think he's great because I think auctions are all about romance, theater, drama.

But is it about modern things?

Yes and no.

VO: I'd say more no than yes, Charles.

He might sell and he might be quirky, but antique he ain't.

Please try and find something old today.

If we bought the cane and the bear as a twosome, what's the best price for the two together?

DEALER: 45 quid.

CH: Between friends, 45?

DEALER: Yeah.

CH: That's great, Will.

VO: Well, at least this lovely walking cane has some age.

The Willcox-Hanson swag bag is full, just in the nick of time to catch up on all the gossip.

My relationship with Charles is naughty schoolboy and his first older woman crush.

I think our relationship has a lot of chemistry.

Well, our relationship is not obviously quite the same as yours!

I like Charlie very much indeed.

We've just had a good laugh all day, but there is no sexual chemistry between us.

TW: I think he was the original Austin Powers.

VO: Yeah, baby.

Our rival teams have an engagement to reveal their purchases.

So, the road trip continues on, 14 miles southwest to make ready in the well-trimmed grounds of Castle Howard.

VO: Temporarily unleashed from their experts, our celebrities have decided to take a quick squint inside.

Even more drive!

How much land have these people got?!

VO: You might recognize this superior exterior from such illustrious entertainment as Brideshead Revisited, Barry Lyndon and even Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties!

TW: I think, Tony, let's just drop in and offer them £10,000.

TB: I'm so glad you could come to my house.

VO: Designed by the renowned English architect John Vanbrugh in a similar baroque style to Blenheim Palace, the house was built from 1699 to 1712 as a family home for Charles Howard, the third Earl of Carlisle.

Charles inherited his title and went on to acquire more wealth by skillfully - and repeatedly - changing sides during the English Civil War.

Nice to meet you, I'm Chris.

TW: Hello, Chris.

CHRIS: Nice to meet you.

TB: What a lovely place.

You see it at its best on an evening like this.

VO: Inside, this amazing family home reveals its many treasures.

Charles Howard's son Henry - the fourth earl - toured continental Europe twice in the early 18th century, buying up, well, pretty much any beautiful object that caught his eye.

And he even got a few bargains.

CHRIS: This is a figure of Bacchus, or Silenus, who you can see has got grapes in his hair.

TB: Yes.

CHRIS: And he's sort of celebrating the... the delights of wine.

And we know that he was here, brought back from that trip, because we actually have the bill for him.

How much was he?

I think he was about 150 scudi, and I spent a long time trying to work out what a scudi would be worth today, and a scudi would be worth about £1.50, so he was probably about the equivalent of £400.

So a bargain, really.

How long ago was that?

This was in the 1740s.

Oh, well, that's quite a lot of money then, isn't it?

VO: Thanks to Henry's Euro trips and obvious haggling abilities, Castle Howard is stunningly furnished with ancient sculptures, Italian paintings and works by the old masters.

However, Henry's sisters perhaps led the most diverse and unusual lives.

Now those three ladies are the three daughters of the man who built Castle Howard - Anne, Elizabeth and Mary.

But the nice thing about those girls is that in their later life, they wrote to their father regularly, so if you look at their letters, one of them was in Bath one day and she was chased through the streets by a bull.

TW: As would happen!

CHRIS: As would happen.

In Bath!

Yes, exactly.

And then the third daughter was the crazy one, who lost huge sums of money gambling, tried to take her own life by swallowing laudanum.

VO: Well, don't we all love a bit of historical gossip?

Fortunately no lives were entirely ruined in the acquisition of fine items for this house - be they bought, acquired or, in some cases, gratefully received.

Any idea what this is?

It's a container of sorts.

Looks like a big soup bowl.

Made out of wood.

Yep.

It's a casket that was presented to the seventh earl of Carlisle in 1841, when he lost his seat in the Yorkshire election.

It is in fact a wine cooler.

Ah-ha!

So the lid, which I'm not going to attempt to take off, because it's very heavy, but that comes off and you have a little lead-lined container in there and you can stand bottles of wine.

How modern.

Chris, I've got £200 - I think we could make a profit on this, what do you think?

I think you could, but this one isn't for sale.

Oh well, it was worth a try.

VO: It's the way he tells 'em!

Sadly, we must leave this majestic interior for a moment of reckoning in the garden.

It's time to put shyness aside and show each other our wares.

I can't wait!

CR: Good time?

CH: It's been great.

We've had a wonderful time, haven't we?

Look at this.

Do you like it?

Oh.

CR: Oh.

(THEY LAUGH) I mean, I'm not trying to be rude or anything - it's not something I would have gone for.

Considering where we are going to be selling, which is close to the center of the boxing fraternity... CH: Cost us £20.

OK?

I think that's fine.

This is something I spotted and it's something that's just different.

OK.

It's my nut.

TB: It's walnut.

TW: Clever.

And it is actually an inkwell.

That is very clever.

And that's it.

It's novel.

To me it's probably a century old.

CR: Exactly.

TW: Oh, that's good.

I think that's good.

Tony, you've hit the antique on the head.

So you quite like it, then?

It's growing on me.

I like it, Tony.

It's growing.

TB: Lovely.

CH: We are now going forward.

Look at those!

CR: Oh, they are wacky!

I've never seen a set like this before, and I think they've got CH: big potential... CR: I'm not surprised, really.

Excuse me?

No, I like them, Toyah.

I like them.

I like your adventurous spirit here, because they could make £75, they could make £20.

But they cost less than £5 each.

Now...

Yes.

We've got something larger for you here.

TB: Look at that.

CH: Oh no.

You like it?

Oh no.

That's "oh no, I'm trembling".

It's good.

We want that to go on top of somebody's stable.

The price on it was £90.

It was £90.

And I unleashed Blackburn... Oh no!

..and I said "go get it, my man, start at 30.

If you have to, go up to 40".

Oh, and I bet it cost 50.

He came back a minute later and said "bought it for 30, no trouble at all".

TB: 30.

TW: That's good.

TW: That's good.

Yep.

CH: I found this.

It's just a quality, lightweight, dandy cane.

Can I just have a look?

It's silver but it's not hallmarked.

What do you think we'll get for this?

I would probably put it at about £30.

Well, it cost us £28.

£28?

He's a good valuer, isn't he?!

I know, where's this guy from?!

I like a caddy spoon.

Oh, that's charming.

And I hope you haven't paid like £10 for it.

No, no.

They were wanting best part of £100 for it, but... Monsieur Blackburn... Oh no!

The lady melted!

He said "£40 with a kiss" and she said yes.

No!

Toyah, it's now time to unleash our secret weapon, which really is an antique about five, six, seven times over.

Look at that.

Dare I say something?

I find it a little ugly.

It's almost a thousand years old, Tony.

It cost us... Was it a hundred?

And £50.

Ooh!

It's speculating to really, really accumulate, so we're going for it.

Good, I admire you.

Very brave.

Well done.

If you put a few daffodils on the top of it just to make it look better, I think it might...

There's always one, isn't there?

Always one.

From your gamble to our gamble.

Think Olympics.

What would be the most famous Olympics in the 20th century?

Tell me you bought a gold medal.

Munich?

Germany, 1936.

A bronze plaque, got the swastika on the top.

I have to be honest here... You're worried about this, aren't you?

I would not touch that with a barge pole.

Really?

What, because of the swastika?

Because of the swastika.

Yes, but...

I know exactly what you mean and...

But we're not condoning anything that went on there, Toyah, we're not saying anything other than this was an Olympic Games, and a turning point, was it not?

It is a bit of history, isn't it?

CH: All I can say is you've actually bought very, very well.

Oh, wonderful!

Wonderful.

CH: Look at that.

CR: Oh, I love it.

So was this a tenner?

Charlie, it was something which... was a tenner.

(THEY CHUCKLE) You hate it when I'm right!

This is one we're really looking forward to you seeing.

Oh no!

I can't believe it!

I give you, monsieur, le marrow scoop.

CR: Oh, good for you.

TB: How much were they asking for it?

The label had 220 on it.

220?

And it was at this moment I unleashed Mr Blackburn.

And I went down on my knees, and we got it for £50.

Oh, you didn't!

Are you serious?

I'm not absolutely serious.

CR: It was a hundred.

TB: We got it for £100.

You've gone for the negotiator - I've gone for the emotion.

Our finale, which people get emotional about, they love a good teddy bear.

TB: Oh.

CR: I think he's charming.

TB: He's lovely.

CR: I love him.

We've got a serious competition on our hands, CR: haven't we?

TB: I can't wait.

VO: So that's everything.

Now, let's see what they really think.

TW: I don't think the little walnut's going to get that much.

I really don't think the weather cock is going to get that much.

I think it's half a hanging basket.

It's not nice.

No!

CR: You did not like that Beswick figure, did you?

TB: I thought it just looked sort of very cheap.

We wouldn't have bought any of that stuff, would we?

That's a really, really good point.

We're slightly anxious but at the same time, there's a few falls for them as well.

I think we can be a little bit smug.

VO: Well, I like the sound of that!

Our novice celebrities have come on leaps and bounds in the last two days - bless 'em.

Now, let's take this newfound confidence on the road just one more time.

TW: Wouldn't it be amazing if you got up on the stand and you ran the auction for your bids yourself?

TB: Are you allowed to do that?

Tony, you are a rebel of the '60s.

I am a rebel of the '80s.

We just take over.

Anarchy.

VO: Castle Howard is consigned to the past as this monumental celebrity road trip thunders on.

A whopping 198 miles due south, all the way to Stansted Mountfitchet in glorious Essex.

ALL: # Oh what a beautiful morning # Oh what a beautiful day # I've got a beautiful feeling # Everything's going my way.

# CH: No, my way!

CR: They can't hear.

CH: No, my way!

VO: Auction day is finally upon us as our eager celebrities and experts arrive at Sworders Auctioneers.

You look gorgeous!

Thank you!

Allow me to take you to the ceremony.

Oh, come on, Charlie Ross!

Look, she's my partner.

Come on.

Hey, excuse me.

I feel a little bit left out here.

CR: Come on, Blackers.

TB: Thank you.

You'll be alright.

You stick with Charlie.

TB: I bet you say that to all the celebs.

VO: Sworders Auctioneers began flogging gear way, way back in 1782, long before these rooms began selling fine arts.

Today it's the antiques and collectables sale with auctioneer Guy Schooling here to get things going.

..£50.

Five anywhere?

We bought one big item.

TW: It's a Chinese vase.

The problem I would have with it, and the Chinese may have with it, is the damage.

The problem I have with it is the fact that it looks so hideous.

GUY: It is quite boring as well!

TB: It is, isn't it?

TW: I have to ask you - there's a really horrible weather vane.

Please tell me it'll fetch 20p.

I would have thought, again, 100 or 150.

Oh!

All I want to say is no matter what happens, it's been enormous fun, so when we have this massive win and you have a chip on your shoulder, I want you to forget about it.

TW: Thank you, Tony.

TB: It's alright.

Thanks, Tony.

VO: Charlie and Tony started today's show with their full £400, and spent £270 on five auction lots.

VO: Team Toyah also began with £400 and spent just £250 on six lots.

VO: Experts and celebrities get themselves settled, citizens whisper, then fall silent, as this most prestigious auction is about to begin.

VO: First up, Toyah's pugilist puppy is spoiling for a fight.

Lot 155, Beswick figure, £50.

CH: Have a go.

GUY: 20.

Have a go.

10.

12.

15.

18.

20.

Two.

Five.

CH: One more.

GUY: 28.

TW: Yes!

CH: Go on!

It's the only boxing dog you'll ever get the chance to buy.

Over here, over here!

I've got her, I've got her!

Calm down!

Thank you.

32.

£32 in the center of the room.

VO: It's a knockout for Willcox-Hanson.

That was great, excellent.

Thank you, lady in pink.

CH: Well done.

TW: Thank you.

VO: And now, a tough nut to crack.

Tenacious Tony's hard-haggled inkwell.

Unusual little Black Forest inkwell.

20 I'm bid.

At £20.

22.

Five.

Eight.

30.

At 32.

35.

Tony, you have made a profit on your debut!

Come on!

Works with biros as well, you know.

£40.

40!

VO: Good job.

Good purchase.

Finally, a potential new career for Tony Blackburn.

TB: Wow!

CR: I hereby... CH: Congratulations.

TB: Oh, thank you.

..confirm you... As a nut!

..an authorized antique dealer.

VO: Who'd like a cuddle?

The not-so-old teddy bear gets his chance.

£50?

20.

10.

Anybody?

10 I'm bid.

Come on, let's go.

15.

18.

Profit!

Good man.

20.

22.

25.

Yes!

Good man, thank you very much.

28.

30.

Oh, he's...!

Keep going.

One more.

..for £32.

VO: Aw, bless.

A lovely profit.

Now, let's see which way the wind of chance is blowing.

40 I'm bid.

It's a profit!

Straight in!

GUY: 45.

TB: 45!

50.

Five.

60.

Five.

In the room the bid for the weather vane.

70 anywhere?

Selling then at £65.

VO: Hard-haggle Blackburn has done it again, making Charlie proud.

I'm amazed.

You're amazed?

Absolutely.

VO: And another modern item from Toyah's swag bag.

Funnily enough, from the 1980s.

£50?

20?

10 to start?

12.

15.

18.

20.

I shall sell them at 20.

VO: And that'll teach you for buying modern collectables on the Antiques Road Trip.

Shocking!

VO: Now, Charlie and Tony await their Olympic dreams.

At 25.

30 anywhere?

Piece of history.

30.

Five.

40.

Five.

50 anywhere?

It's cheap yet.

At 45.

Oh, come on!

50.

Five.

Slow down.

GUY: 60.

Five.

70.

CH: Slow down.

Stop there.

GUY: Selling at £70.

CH: Stop.

Stop.

VO: Ouch!

A slight loss, and no gold medal for Charlie and Tony.

So, let's get some swagger into Charles and Toyah's auction fortunes.

£50.

20.

25.

30.

Five.

40.

One more.

At 45.

CH: One more.

TW: Come on!

Yes!

GUY: I have £50.

CH: One more.

GUY: 55 anywhere?

CH: One more.

Over here!

Over here!

We've got her, we've got her.

GUY: 60.

TB: It's not very good.

One more.

At £60.

VO: Ooh!

Double!

And then some!

CH: Thank you, madam.

TW: Well done, madam!

CH: Thank you very much.

CH: You're a star.

TW: Good one.

VO: And now another genuine antique, authentically bought by that charmer, Blackburn.

At £20.

22.

Five.

Eight.

30.

Two.

CH: Sell it.

Five.

Eight.

CH: Sell it.

CR: Don't sell it yet.

40.

Two.

45.

48.

50, sir?

No.

£48, on my left.

I want to bid for it!

Slim profit.

VO: A profit, but nothing to shout about, frankly.

VO: Meanwhile, back at the retro collectables sale, the drumming panda is looking for someone to play with.

£50?

20.

That's double the money.

What did it cost?

£10.

30.

Two.

Five.

Eight.

40.

Commission bid.

Can I see two anywhere?

I shall sell at £40.

VO: And it looks like 20th century tin toys are the things to buy.

I'll eat my hat now.

Well done, well done.

That is really good.

VO: But not before this lovely kosher antique marrow scoop goes before the bidders.

35 I'm bid.

At 35.

40.

Five.

50.

Five.

60.

Five.

70.

Five.

TW: Stop, stop!

GUY: 85.

CR: 85?

TB: 90?

Yep.

Stop, stop, stop!

120.

130.

Up, up.

It's a profit, but it's paltry.

VO: A profit, but a slightly disappointing one.

Well, that's alright.

And it should have been ours.

VO: And as the final lot waits in the wings, there's a solid £51 separating our two celebrities' fortunes, with Willcox team out in front.

Now, the long-awaited ancient Chinese burial jar finally takes the stage.

So let's start at £100.

Come on.

50?

20?

20 I'm bid.

VO: Ouch!

That's rather an insult to an 800-year-old piece.

Maiden bid will take it.

At 25.

30.

Five.

40.

CR: Here it goes.

GUY: Five... 50... Five.

60.

Commission bid, you're out in the room.

At £60.

Commission bid!

Selling then, on commission, at £60.

Come on, come on, come on.

Sold at 60.

VO: Heavens to Betsy - that's appalling, and a rather sad end to the fortunes of Willcox-Hanson.

Oh dear, what a shame.

CH: (LAUGHS) VO: Sadly, after paying auction costs, second-placed Toyah and Charles have made a loss, and limped to the finish line with just £362.38.

VO: Tony and Charlie made a modest yet debonair profit, finishing their road trip with, you've guessed it, £411.46.

VO: Jolly well done, everyone.

All the money our celebrities and experts make will go to Children In Need.

TW: Can't win 'em all, can we?

TB: That was fun.

TW: Well, it was fun... TB: For us.

Stop it!

Mr Blackburn is something of a legend, is he not?

He started there and ended up there.

Well, I've really enjoyed it, you know, it's been great.

I haven't really known what I've been buying, but it's been fantastic, and we made a profit.

CR: Your nut did well.

TB: My nut did.

That has shown, actually, Tony, but, you know, luck was on your side.

Oh-ho-ho!

We took a gamble.

We were brave, we entered into the arena with speculation.

TB: Yes, but you lost badly, though.

I've never, ever been out with two such bad losers.

I know.

Dreadful.

Absolutely dreadful.

CR: I'll tell you what we'll do.

TB: Yeah?

What's that?

CR: Tony, get in the car.

TB: Fantastic.

Toyah, will you come home with me as well?

TW: I'll come home with you.

CH: Fantastic.

It's the best offer I've had all day.

Really?

VO: Oh come on, Toyah.

Your auction wasn't that bad.

In fact, it seems as if celebrities really can spot and buy antiques for themselves, even when hampered by Charles Hanson.

Farewell Charles and Toyah.

Farewell Charlie and Tony.

Bye-bye everyone.

Bye-bye.

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