NARRATOR: The nation's favorite celebrities-- Got some proper bling here.

NARRATOR: --paired up with an expert-- What?

What?

NARRATOR: --and a classic car.

Put your hands up!

Hello, girls!

NARRATOR: Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

All breakages must be paid for.

This is a good find, is it not?

NARRATOR: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no easy ride.

Who will find a hidden gem?

Who will take the biggest risks?

Put on my antiques head on.

NARRATOR: Will anybody follow expert advice?

That thing is horrible.

NARRATOR: There will be worthy winners-- This is better than Christmas!

NARRATOR: --and valiant losers.

Time to put your pedal to the metal.

This is "Celebrity Antiques Road Trip."

Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Welcome to a very different sort of road trip.

Gracing our screen today, are two unique celebrities.

British style legend, Wayne Hemingway, is driving this rather fetching 1979 Opel Cadet.

And beside him is a guest with a twist.

It's a big break for me this, Wayne.

You know, I'm hoping to break out of the Carbury circuit, because I just played [INAUDIBLE],, you know.

NARRATOR: Actor and comedian, Graham Fellows, is best known for creating legendary characters like Jilted John, whose song "Jilted John", reached number four in the charts in 1978.

But on the road trip today, Graham is appearing as his longest running comedy character, cult musician and polo neck enthusiast John Shuttleworth.

First created for radio four, John was soon given his own television series "500 Bus Stops."

He even made a brave, albeit fictional bid, for Eurovision glory in his program "Europigeon."

You not got a car a bit like this?

I have, I've got a much newer model than this this.

This is a T-ratchet I'm used to driving a Y-ratch, 1981.

And you sang a song about it?

Well, I did.

[INAUDIBLE] Y-ratch, Y-ratch, Y-ratch.

Don't keep asking me why ratch, just happens to be that, yeah.

NARRATOR: One of John's biggest fans and fellow roadtripper today, Wayne Hemingway, first came to fame after co-founding fashion label Red or Dead with his wife, Geraldine.

Throughout the 1990s, he was the fashion critic on "The Big Breakfast," and became a millionaire when they sold Red or Dead in 1998.

These days, he runs his own design company and has turned his love and knowledge of vintage items into being a champion of upcycling and recycling.

We need experts to go with us, I'm not so sure.

We could ditch them maybe.

GRAHAM: I might need some help, Wayne, because I have a problem with selling all this old stuff.

Because I like new stuff.

WAYNE: What's in your house right now that you could flog?

Well, funny you should say that because I brought a pepper mill.

WAYNE: That-- I don't reckon-- GRAHAM: That might work-- WAYNE: --that might take, though.

I don't reckon it's worth much, that.

I think you are going to need this expert.

GRAHAM: You think I am?

NARRATOR: Next to the 1983 Mini Cooper, are auctioneers Paul Laidlaw and Philip Searle.

So who do want to work with?

I'm easy peasy.

Seriously, you got a preference?

Oh clearly, you know, fashion style icon.

- I was thinking that.

- No, me.

I think that a lot.

Me, me, me, me.

Yeah.

Here they are, look.

Look at that.

What a machine.

What a machine.

You go and get your man, I'll get-- paired ourselves off.

PAUL: Yeah, we've done it.

PHILIP: Good man.

PAUL: Hello.

GRAHAM: John.

PAUL: How are you?

PHILIP: How are you my friend?

Good to see you, Philip.

Hi.

How's your legs, all right?

Yeah, very, very well.

PHILIP: We seemed to have paired ourselves off then naturally, is that all right?

Style icon.

Style icon.

That we should work together and.

You sure I'm not a style icon?

That you completely are.

We wander over this way and let them get on with-- He genuinely wants to go to Argos.

Can you drive?

- I can drive.

- Then you should-- Shall I drive?

Yes, please, yes.

NARRATOR: With the teams decided, it's Midlands or bust, this trip.

400 pounds each, they will be starting out in the village of Bromfield near Ludlow in Shropshire, before traveling over 100 miles through wonderful Worcestershire and heading for that all important auction in Stroud.

First out of the pits, are John and Paul.

PAUL: So tell me, John-- Yes?

How did you get in the world of music?

GRAHAM: I bought a keyboard with built-in audio accompaniment off a policeman called Barron.

I can do vibrato.

[VOCALIZES] And I just took it from there, and I started playing the local hospice.

I don't play at the drop-in center so much now because they carry on playing table tennis.

And it's not in time with the music very often.

You know what I'm saying?

I get that.

NARRATOR: The first stop on the trip today for these two is Kidderminster.

Robert Plant from Led Zeppelin grew up around here.

But how will our musical guest fare in the antiques game?

GRAHAM: So here we are.

PAUL: This is it.

John, welcome to my world.

NARRATOR: Their first shop is Ian Warner Jewelry and Antiques.

GRAHAM: Quite nice, it's up for sale, you think?

Nice fluorescent light fitting.

You think that will be up for grabs?

Antiques, John.

Antiques.

Oh yeah.

That's it.

It should be written on your hand.

NARRATOR: Oh, Paul.

Can you convince John to embrace the old?

Here to help is Ian Warner.

- Hello, I'm Ian.

- How you doing?

You all right?

Hello.

John Shuttleworth.

John Shuttleworth?

Yeah.

I've come to look for some old things.

That people will want to buy at the auction.

NARRATOR: That's the idea, all right.

I just find I'm a bit bamboozled by the quantity of products.

Wood for trees can be an issue in this game.

Just that, when you go to Augusta you've got a catalog, everything's listed.

You know what I'm saying?

Is that-- is it Bruegel?

Sadly that's not a Bruegel.

"Hunters in the Snow."

I know, indeed.

Yeah, it was on a Christmas card we got.

And they're walking away, aren't they?

So I think that'll do well.

Because you got the Bruegel.

Can I play my trump card?

Well you can try.

They're not antiques.

I'll come back later, privately, and put it in an offer.

Look at that kettle.

Now that's gorgeous.

It is.

PAUL: You're a dark horse, you.

Because I do a bit of acting, and sometimes you have to do the warm up.

You go, a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot.

Go on, you do that.

A proper cup of coffee in a proper coffee cup-- clearly, I'm no actor.

That is-- that still late 19th century, you know.

Is it?

And in it's day, that was startlingly avant-garde.

Right.

NARRATOR: There's no ticket price, but it's old.

And crucially, John likes it.

What else can they find?

Paul, come and look at this.

Now look at that, Paul.

A saw it on the way in.

What do you think?

PAUL: Let me tell you why you should buy that.

GRAHAM: Oh, go on.

You know Pears?

The soap.

Yes.

The manufacturers by appointment to HM the Queen.

GRAHAM: That should do.

And that has all the hallmarks of a Pears print.

I dare say, if you bought enough bars of soap you'd get that for Christmas in 1895, frame it up, and you have some fine art on your wall.

And you know what, it's lovely.

GRAHAM: Let's put an offer in.

NARRATOR: Pears reproduced artwork as posters in the 19th century.

Ground breaking advertising at the time that helped make them a household name.

Time to strike a deal.

And you're a haggler?

Yes.

I was in-- I once knocked an old lady down.

Not knock her down, got the price down at the charity shop.

That's a bit hard.

--to 60p.

You haggle in a charity shop.

For a Nolan Sisters record.

Oh well, in that case.

NARRATOR: This should be interesting.

So how about a 100 pounds for the lot?

Oh, you don't know what we're buying yet.

There's a kettle we like and could you do that for-- well how much is it?

Just stop meself in time.

What were you going to say?

I was going to say 32.

Oh, were you.

Oh, dear.

50 quid.

GRAHAM: No it's far too much.

I don't know that it's far too much, but it's a risky one.

NARRATOR: Might have to think on that one then.

What else were we in to?

Oh, it's a picture.

It's 85 it says.

IAN: It says 85.50 quid.

GRAHAM: No, it's too much.

Not committing to anything?

IAN: 35 quid is the death on the copper kettle.

OK. What's the death on the Peras print?

If it's a Peras print.

40 quid.

Have you got anything up your sleeve, that you will go, you know what, I think that's hot at the moment.

I mean I bought a piece-- I've just bought a piece of Ruskin.

It's 40 quid.

NARRATOR: It's a quality antique but will John like it?

Ruskin.

Ruskin art pottery.

And named after John Ruskin, arguably the father of the arts and crafts movement.

To me, that looks like an art student would do.

For the end of college.

Right, let's talk business.

This, the cattle, and the picture for 105 pounds.

I was going to say a 100, but I'm feeling generous today.

Yeah?

What about that then?

Is that too much?

No, slap me hand.

Yes!

NARRATOR: John's bought some actual antiques and with a bit money knocked off, he's showing some great promise.

IAN: Thank you very much.

Can I have a receipt, please.

IAN: Certainly.

Well, you know, you never know, do you?

NARRATOR: Time to see now what our other pair are up to.

Back in Bromfield, Phil is still trying to get the measure of his new companion.

I don't want to buy things just for the sake of just turning it and making money.

OK.

I want it to be an interesting piece.

So-- and something that I feel passionate about.

We might not find anything that I feel passionate about.

Right, well we've got to go to an antique shop, but before we go there, I know this area quite well.

And over the back there there's a big food hall.

OK. And in the food hall, they have things like old vegetable crates and all that sort of stuff.

Is that your sort of bag?

Yeah, well.

There's a demand for vegetable crates.

You know, they're remaking them aren't they.

It's what they call shabby chic.

Yeah, let's have a look at them then.

PHILIP: OK, let's go and have a wonder.

NARRATOR: Our Phil does like to take us to the strangest of places.

And he may have found a kindred spirit.

Lovely.

But not exactly our normal fare boys.

Oh they're nice.

Hopefully, manager Edward, can help you out.

Known as King Edward to his friends.

Get it?

Spud.

So these are the said ones.

Now, I would say that's an old one.

Yes.

- That's an old one.

- Yes.

That's an old one.

And these one, two, three, are repros.

Is that right?

Right.

NARRATOR: Nice work, Wayne.

This is a man who clearly knows his vintage goods.

WAYNE: Well number one, first of all, would you sell them?

I think we'd sell them.

It seems like a good idea.

So what about a quid each?

A quid and one for the-- one for the almshouse.

Yeah go on then.

So that's-- Two a box.

10 quid the lot then?

10 quid the lot?

PHILIP: All of them?

WAYNE: All of it.

PHILIP: Old and new?

WAYNE: I'll take the repros, as well, yeah.

I can make use of them.

OK. 10 quid the lot?

Done.

NARRATOR: Well that could be the quickest deal I've ever seen on the road trip.

10 pounds for six boxes.

Great.

It's a pretty-- he's pretty good, isn't he?

I'll tell you what, I'm going to stick around with you.

NARRATOR: It looks like these two might just get along.

Where can Phil take Wayne next?

How about 32 miles from Bromfield in Phil's hometown, Worcester.

The drive is a chance for Phil to get to know his traveling companion.

One of the things about second hand and vintage is about appreciating things that stand the test of time.

For me, old things are not about making money and often not-- and more often than not about nostalgia.

I really like the idea that something can have been designed, can have been made, and then can carry on being used by different generations after it.

Because they've got a purpose.

And they're attractive as well.

I mean, I've always said that the antiques business, which in the broadest sense of the word, is the most sort of-- it's the greenest business there is.

Because we do tend to recycle-- - It's recycling.

--everything.

We recycle everything.

NARRATOR: An issue close to Wayne's heart.

And in the name of recycling we seem to be staying off the beaten track this morning.

What on Earth will we find here?

Someone's garage.

Laurent, it's lovely to see you.

How are you, Phil?

Yeah, all right.

Yeah.

Wayne, this is Lawrence.

Nice to meet you, Lawrence.

How do you do?

Great, thank you.

This is what I like to see.

Oh, is it?

A Wisteria and ivy covered garage in somebody's backyard.

NARRATOR: Phil's known Lawrence Harper for years.

He's been buying and selling old fairground equipment, government surplus, and just about anything, really, for decades.

To a vintage enthusiast like Wayne, this is like being a kid in a huge retro sweet shop.

So you want to buy a few fairground bits?

We'll I'm Interested in all sorts of stuff.

This is interesting.

This is obviously a shove your 10p and land it on a-- Yeah it's a roll down.

Call them roll down boards.

NARRATOR: Commonly known as the "Roll a Ball", as you roll a ball into a hole and when a prize.

These hand-painted boards are pre-1940s.

And eight of them would have linked together to form a circular stall.

Once a common fairground site, they're now much rarer making them of interest to vintage fairground enthusiasts.

Lawrence, how much are those?

Well, I wanted about 140 pounds a piece for them.

NARRATOR: Possible, then.

Wayne's rolling up his sleeves and getting stuck in.

What else will catch his eye?

A shop display rack.

That can be any old money.

Yeah I mean that's-- it's shabby chic, isn't it?

It's shabby.

It's shabby chic.

It's very shabby.

It's the kind of thing that you-- Those are-- they're government surplus.

Keep your toast in.

Yeah, I'm interested in them.

NARRATOR: Some toast racks and-- Old overalls.

Give you them.

- Right.

Well it's giving me-- I'm loving them.

NARRATOR: Retro overalls.

This is getting wackier by the second.

What are-- They are off pickled onions.

No, we don't want that.

NARRATOR: Pickled onions.

Oh he's not serious, is he?

- Look at the jar.

- No.

Kilner jars.

- Look at the jars.

- Kilner jars.

Yeah.

Really nice old Kilner jars.

Do not say that because I can remember my mother using those.

How does that date me?

I can just feel one of my headaches coming on now.

It's just moving up a treat.

NARRATOR: Wayne is loving it in here.

It seems Phil is being out-Philled.

Listen, on a serious note now.

I think this little parcel that you've put together here, I don't know what he's going to ask you for it.

All I'm-- my only input is this because I know you're going to buy what you want anyway.

But those boards are the most auction marketable-- Yeah I know.

And I'm thinking about it.

NARRATOR: Sound advice from our expert but Wayne the whirlwind Hemingway is not done searching.

I'd actually love to buy these stairs.

Now they would sell well.

NARRATOR: I don't think he's joking either.

Going off-piste might be Phil's forte, but Wayne is taking this to a whole new level.

You can buy the door.

What's the door off, Law?

Well it come out when we restored the coach house.

It's full of woodworm.

- It's not.

- Does it matter?

It does, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Is it full of wood-- that ain't-- Full of it!

Look at it.

If that is a fiver, I'll take it off your hands.

Will that make a start to you buying all the other things?

Yes it would be a start, yeah.

Right.

NARRATOR: We're off the mark.

A woodworm infested door for a fiver, but will Wayne take Phil's advice and go for that roller ball?

Right.

One of those boards then.

We reckon-- we reckon that even at 80 quid it's a risk.

Would you take-- can we have a go at one of them for 60 and see how-- Wayne, I'll have to leave those.

So what is the absolute worst?

I would have thought they've got to be 120 quid.

You want 120 pounds?

100 quid.

Try and roll it into this stuff.

Yeah, I'm trying to think about that.

I'll tell you what, let's just say a 25 quid.

NARRATOR: I think we're edging towards a deal.

By my count, that's 100 for the ball game, and 25 for the assorted items.

WAYNE: We could get 80-- LAWRENCE: 110 for the lot.

WAYNE: We'll split it 105, board and these.

105.

105 done.

One roll down board and this lot.

OK. NARRATOR: Well done, Lawrence and Wayne.

That's the mixed vintage and retro lot and the roller ball game and not forgetting that door for the grand total of 110 pounds.

Wow.

Well that was a shot with a difference.

LAWRENCE: Cheers, Wayne.

Thanks.

PHILIP: See you, Law.

LAWRENCE: OK, mate.

PHILIP: Thank you very much.

Lovely job.

Thank you.

LAWRENCE: Thanks.

NARRATOR: Paul and John are taking our trip to the Georgian town of Bewdley.

I'm starting to like this buying old things, Paul.

Well I-- I don't know what's come over me.

NARRATOR: Yeah you've worked wonders, Paul.

He's a convert already.

Should make their next shop a breeze.

We've come to buy some items for a knockdown price, if possible.

Is it all right to have a little browse.

MATT: Fill your boots.

NARRATOR: Why, thank you Matt.

What antiques will grab John in here?

Paul.

Can't see anything that I like.

John, we've just walked through the door.

I know but-- Relax, get your mojo focused.

Oh, hang on.

Silver plated sugar box and scoop.

That's the-- oh.

It's Victorian.

It's nice.

That it's modeled as a coal box.

So it's a novelty piece.

Yes.

Yeah.

Shall we have a look at it?

Have you got a key?

MATT: Certainly, John.

We've seen something we like.

It's the sugar box and scoop.

Thank you.

Quite nice weight to it, Paul.

Victorian.

Don't you feel the weight?

It is heavy because a lot of that's led.

Oh, sure.

That it's Britannia metal, is the base of that.

But the truth of the matter is, that's in really good condition.

As Matt knows, once that's been polished within an inch of its life, it'll look like pewter.

NARRATOR: The sugar box and scoop has a ticket price of 55 pounds.

On a bad day that's 20 or 30 pounds worth.

On a good day it's 30 to 60 pounds worth.

So even if it plays badly-- No.

--I think that's a very fair price, if you want to take that home.

Would you mind leaving us please?

We're discussing price to-- No problem at all.

We'll be with you short.

MATT: Thanks, John.

You're too reserved.

25 came to my mind, is that a cheeky starting price?

I think that's a finishing price.

Oh, wow.

All right.

Well, I think we should definitely consider this.

Am I the keeper of the sugar box?

Apparently so.

Apparently so.

And luckily, I'm comfortable with it.

NARRATOR: So that's one possibility.

Anything else?

Found something of interest, Paul.

Bring out your dad.

It's got medieval quality.

Do you not say?

You think?

I think this would go well because it's practical because everyone wants to come on time for dinner, don't they?

Funnily enough, John, nobody wants these things.

Well, I do.

And you more likely text some day come down to dinner at the moment, than ring the dinner gong.

NARRATOR: Wise words, Paul.

Next.

Hey, Paul.

Talk to me.

Oh.

That's gorgeous, isn't it?

Price tag.

15 quid?

Hey, that was his starting price.

I think that could go to the right buyer for about 25.

You could be right.

But I also like the sugar bowl.

Yeah, sugar bowl's an antique.

GRAHAM: Well why don't we see what price we can get on both the items.

OK. See what the numbers are.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: It's not really an antique or even vintage and Paul's not convinced.

However, John likes it and there is that much older Victorian sugar box.

Time to talk to Matt.

We're not seeing much that we like, to be honest.

No disrespect to the shop.

It's lovely but we're only looking for a couple of items.

Possibly just one.

We do like this Victorian silver plated sugar box and scoop.

And were prepared to offer you 14 pounds.

What do you say?

Well I couldn't do that for 14, John, to be fair.

I could do the box at 14 and the scoop for 16.

That's a priceless scoop.

And how about we meet you halfway at 20 for both.

We are on a tight budget, you see.

That seems-- 20 sounds fair, don't it?

25 would be more realistic, wouldn't it.

I mean, that's still 30 pounds off the marked price.

What about the leopard?

PAUL: What about the leopard?

The leopard started off at 15.

Yeah.

If we got them both for 30, then we might be talking business.

Come on it's getting late.

You want to have your tea.

So do I, actually.

I'll tell you what, I'll give you a fair crack of the whip, I'll do you the two for 30.

Hey.

Thank you very-- thank you very much.

You struck a deal.

But have we broken-- It's the least likely auction lot we will see this year.

NARRATOR: So that's 20 pounds for the sugar box and scoop, and 10 pounds for the cat.

Well done, chaps.

Wayne and Phil are now taking our trip back to Kidderminster.

They've come to find out how this small town came to be the carpet making capital of the world.

Just as Wayne's designs colored the 1980s and 90s, designs from Kidderminster define the home interiors of the 50s, 60s, and 70s.

And here to tell them more, is Melvin.

Nice to meet you.

Welcome to the carpet museum.

I'm Philip, how are you?

Welcome to the Museum of carpets.

NARRATOR: Kidderminster's carpet industry first boomed in the 18th century thanks to its position on a new canal connecting the rivers serving the North and South of England.

Factories sprung up making the famous Kidderminster weave and the town's skyline was dominated by the carpet mills chimneys.

The industry dominated life in the town.

Generations of families worked in the mills, playing for the mills sporting teams, and even had their weddings in the mills social clubs.

But during World War II, the factories were turned over to military use and production of carpet dropped dramatically.

But this pent up demand led to an incredible time for Kidderminster.

So when was the heyday then of Kidderminster carpet manufacturing?

Well, the heyday after the Second World War-- during the World War there was five years of no production.

The looms were pushed back to the wall and we had a situation where no carpet was woven.

So the moment the war had finished, as soon as raw materials were available, the carpet boom started.

NARRATOR: And what a boom it was at its peak in the 1950s.

Kidderminster was producing millions of square yards of carpets every year.

In the boom years, how big was Kidderminster then?

Well Kidderminster had 25 companies and about 15,000 people.

It was quite a large company.

The whole of the town center was covered in carpet factories.

Carpet town.

Carpet-- it was a carpet town.

NARRATOR: In the post-war consumer and housing boom, many families bought wall to wall carpets for the first time.

After years of austerity, drabness was out and color was in.

Design had become everything.

So some very recognizable designs here, this must be from late 50s, early 60s, is it?

Yes, it's a '60s.

It was one of the carpets that was sold one million square yards, and it's called skater's trail.

And I think you can probably see why it's called skater's trail.

I think me Nana had this.

But I remember-- I also remember seeing it in every single mail order catalog.

- Absolutely.

It would have been everywhere, wouldn't it?

It was perfect.

You could join it together and carry on wall to wall carpet.

And then I notice down here that there's one of my design here, was Lucienne Day.

Her and Robin Day, the heroes of me and Geraldine.

Husband and wife design team, just amazing.

And she was very forward thinking and looking at this here, it's very Luciencce Day and it says it retailed at 2 pounds 18 shillings and 6 pence a square yard.

And if you had a Lucienne Day carpet that was unworn, it would be very, very, collectible.

But you just you wouldn't come across it.

NARRATOR: Lucienne Day was just one of the big names that carpet companies signed up to create cutting edge designs.

But the Goyer design seen here in almost every '60s and '70s household, was designed by Heather Goodwin, a less celebrated in-house designer.

The factories even had their own school of Art and Design here in Kidderminster.

WAYNE: Doing florals and doing flowers was an age old-- It was very, very popular.

Yeah, an age old thing.

One million square yards.

Yeah.

Both these.

And I imagine that would have been split and that would have been for the traditionalists and that would have been for the modernist.

Yes.

NARRATOR: Kidderminster carpets covered floors from Australia to America, Caesar's Palace, the Eiffel Tower, the Russian tsars, summer palace, even the White House, all sported the Kidderminster weave.

However, decline began in the 1970s and today only one of 25 chimneys remain in the town's skyline.

But five companies and 500 people are still employed, making the carpets that once covered the world.

That was quite a day.

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Nighty night.

Good morning road trippers.

How did it go for you then, yesterday?

I'm not telling you, it's confidential.

So what-- was it whole-- was it big stuff you bought or knickknacks or-- Well you know, I'd have to kill the first, Wayne.

I might just auction these furry dice.

What to you reckon you'll get something for that at an auction?

NARRATOR: I wouldn't put it past you, Wayne.

How are our esteemed experts this morning?

I'm going to try and steer Wayne, if that can be done, it's a bit like steering the Queen Mary.

It's on a course, he won't move from it.

I'm going to try and steer Wayne into some antique shops and some antiques.

But I've got a feeling-- I've got a real feeling that that might not just end up that.

NARRATOR: Let's just have a quick reminder how they got on yesterday.

John and Paul spent 135 pounds on five items.

The copper kettle, the pears print, the Ruskin vase, the sugar box, and the cat.

That leaves them with 265 pounds for the day ahead.

See you next time, yeah.

No problem.

NARRATOR: Wayne and Phil spent 120 pounds on a rather eclectic mix.

Some food crates, a door, an assorted lot of retro items, and a fairground roller ball game.

Leaving them with 280 pounds to spend today.

- Cheers.

- OK, mate.

Thank you very much.

Lovely job.

Thank you.

Thanks.

- Oh, here they come.

- Here's the guys.

Moment of truth.

How are we doing?

How are you doing, John?

I'm very good, thank you.

Good to see you, Wayne.

How are you doing?

I'm all right.

You sleep well?

As well as can be expected.

We are off now to go and buy some quality items, aren't we?

I don't know, we didn't manage to do that yesterday.

- No, no, I-- - We did, you see.

Actually, no, you didn't.

But we'll go and find something that's-- well, spectacular.

Better than yesterday.

No, no, no.

I'm very pleased about what we got yesterday.

Well, in the light of what Wayne's been telling me in the car, I'm feeling quite optimistic about our chances.

NARRATOR: Glad to hear it, John.

Both our teams are heading to Evesham and to the same shop.

First to arrive at Twyford Antique Center are Wayne and Phil.

WAYNE: This looks interesting.

NARRATOR: Well, it is your first antique shop of the trip.

Big enough too.

But how will Wayne get on in a more, shall we say, conventional setting?

PAUL: --his vehicle there.

GRAHAM: Yeah.

Oh.

My Austin in Boston would have beaten this car.

[INAUDIBLE] so far.

Well, here we go.

Right.

Bargains may have been snapped up before we got through the door, come on.

NARRATOR: Love the optimism.

Wayne.

WAYNE: Hello, John.

Phil, hello.

Good to see you again.

Phil, how are you?

Lovely to see you.

It's only recently that we parted.

Absolutely right.

Happy here?

You're going to like it here, I think.

This first box here, look at this here.

Records, 7 inch vinyl, 50% off the purchase price.

First one, Rod Stewart, "Do You Think I'm Sexy?"

Can you-- Well, actually, the B side.

What are those?

[LAUGHTER] That was a very rude title.

It is a very rude title, yeah.

No, I'm not in music mode, I'm in antique buying mode.

These are antiques-- well come on, let's go-- let's go and look what-- Nice video camera there.

But again, will it do well at an auction?

No, no.

Depends on the auction.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: Very wise words there, Paul.

Phil.

What have you got my friend?

So it's a-- well it's a nice old sledge and it's just kind of a rusted up enough.

It's that a modern-- Plywood seat.

A plywood seat.

Don't show me the price yet.

Yeah, so it's-- Don't show the price.

And that's going to make 15 to 20 quid at auction.

Which means we got to try and buy it for 5 to 10 pounds.

But what I like about that, is that in fact-- what is it, 50s or 60s.

Hammerite paint?

Yeah.

And-- It's just-- it's the kind of thing that people put on display or they might buy it for their kid.

Well, I'll leave you to have a deal with him.

NARRATOR: The ticket price for the sledge is 35 pounds, here to do the negotiating is Andy.

I found this.

We haven't had any snow for the last two years.

Yeah.

So I mean-- - So-- Would you take something like 7.50 pounds on it and give us a chance to make some money?

Make it 8 quid.

- I'll have it then.

- Yep.

- Deal done.

- OK. OK, cheers.

NARRATOR: You can tell he's done this negotiating before.

John and Paul are still in here, somewhere.

Hey, now look.

Don't know where Paul's gone but I think I got to buy this.

It's a shame rent has been crossed out.

But obviously rates became more important.

I think I'm going to buy this.

Paul.

Are you there?

Paul.

He coming?

NARRATOR: Hurry up then, Paul.

There you are.

You cracking open the piggy bank.

You found something good?

I have, Paul.

Now I'll put some money in.

You've put some money in?

What do you think?

What have you put in there?

Well, I think it should do well in the auction.

Why don't we see what you put in there.

--p You've put in a penny more than it's worth.

NARRATOR: In times of post-war austerity, money boxes like this would have helped households keep track of their finances.

Ticket price is 12 pounds.

I'll tell you what shade of green that is that's thermos flask green.

That's what that is.

That's why it's good, yeah.

For me-- Yeah.

It's not so much nostalgic, is depressing.

You see, look.

It's left an extra column that's free.

Yeah.

And you can write your own category.

That's for your plot at the graveyard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You save up for your plot because after taxes come death.

NARRATOR: John may love it, but I don't think Paul's on board yet.

How much are we prepared to pay for this?

Well I think up to 1.34 pound.

At 1.34 pound I will back you all the way.

I'll be behind you.

There'll be a safe distance it'll be that sort of-- safety.

3 quid.

A pound.

2 quid.

Hang on, why are we-- I don't-- we're in this together.

Not any more than a pound and it's yours.

Potentially, it's unsaleable at auction.

So I'd rather cut our losses.

I think you're wrong, this will go for-- this will go for double figures.

NARRATOR: Oh yeah.

Time to see Andy then.

- Hello.

- Oh.

We found an item that we like.

Oh, let's have a look.

He's using that we loosely.

- Ah, right.

- Yes.

I see.

Paul's not so keen.

OK. Look, I've got 11p there.

And I was thinking, if I took a penny back-- Yes.

That's what we would like to offer for it because as Paul rightly says no one's going to buy it.

It's just I like it.

What do you think?

Well I'm prepared to increase my offer by 1,000% and no more.

I can do it for 6 pounds for you.

No, no.

1.20 pound.

1 pound 11p, that's all we've got.

I was going to say 1.20 pound, but I can't come down to 1.11 I'm afraid.

It's just-- 1.20.

It's just too much.

Good man.

You are a good man.

Thank you very much.

I'll start saving from me funeral then.

Have you got a black marker?

NARRATOR: Excellent work, John.

Let's just hope it makes more than pennies at the auction.

Oh, and he'll want a receipt, Andy.

I'd like a receipt, please.

NARRATOR: Told you.

See you.

I've forgotten it.

Don't forget that.

Bye.

NARRATOR: Wayne still on the hunt.

He's uncovered some vintage advertising.

A 1950s poster for a local dairy.

What drew me to that was the fact that it's local to here.

So to somebody that can mean quite a lot.

It's a local dairy and it's a nice old piece of original.

You know, it's obviously not reproduction it's a piece of original advertising.

NARRATOR: Good spot, Wayne.

But where is your expert?

Do you know there are times in your life when you feel totally superfluous.

And this is one of them.

I've suddenly realized that I'm in the Wayne Hemingway show.

NARRATOR: Indeed.

With no ticket price on the poster, Wayne is back with Andy.

I think they probably come up with some sort of a deal on that.

25 quid?

I think that's coming down a bit too much.

I was thinking might get away with 35 for you.

Split it, 30.

Gone on, then.

OK.

Cheers.

OK. NARRATOR: He's good at this.

Wayne's got the sledge and the poster for 38 pounds.

I think he even enjoyed his antique shop experience.

Paul and John are heading 20 miles West from Evesham to Birtsmorton.

They're headed to the Royal Pigeon Racing Association to discover how the humble pigeon helped the allies win the Second World War.

You'd be pigeons.

Pigeons in flying.

Are you ready for the second line?

Hit me with it.

I want to see you tonight.

It's just-- That's you-- --the peak could be too much for me.

Well.

NARRATOR: Perhaps we could squeeze in some more singing later, as here to tell us about our oldest domesticated bird is, Stuart Wardrop.

Now the first thing that strikes me, Stewart, is the sound of the cooing, it's very restful.

It is indeed.

Yes, behind you is a loft with almost 600 racing pigeons.

NARRATOR: Man's relationship with the pigeon goes back centuries.

The ancient Egyptians and Romans used pigeons for relaying messages.

Wellington's army used them at Waterloo, and Reuters news agency couldn't have started without the pigeon's famous homing instinct.

There are various theories on the homing instinct.

Whether it's the sun, the earth's magnetic fields, or even their sense of smell, it's helped pigeons travel over thousands of miles.

Stuart, you say they've got homing instinct.

Yep.

Does this diminish when they become teenagers?

You know what I mean?

And they go off on their own?

STUART: No, actually-- And then realize they can't cope and then come back.

Would you believe, yes, they do.

When you're training pigeons, the first time you let them out some of them-- when you take them three or four miles and train them, some of them come straight back.

But some of them are like naughty teenagers.

They go off and they won't come back for a number of days.

NARRATOR: It was in wartime that pigeons became unlikely heroes.

In the First World War, they had cameras strapped to them and were used for reconnaissance before the aeroplane took over that role.

By the Second World War, they were considered essential to the war effort.

STUART: This is a call up paper.

PAUL: This is the National pigeon service.

It is.

There were a quarter of a million pigeons called up in the Second World War to serve with all the allied forces and supporting the troops.

So these are private individuals.

They've got a few pigeons in their loft or whatever and the government writes to them saying we're calling up your birds.

That's it.

For national service.

And you had to have a license to be able to keep the pigeons.

It will be an esteemed favor if you will kindly place birds on rail on 26th of April, if possible.

NARRATOR: They didn't just have call up papers.

I have a ration book for a pigeon.

And basically, each of the lofts were issued a ration card and you went and called off your grain on a weekly or monthly basis and fed your pigeons.

And then once, obviously, your pigeons have been called up and your pigeons a bit fed you had to have a way of carrying the pigeons in the aircraft, and this is what this was.

This is an American military pigeon carrier.

And all bombers or reconnaissance aircraft carried a box with pigeons in.

So basically, because of the early radios, if you were shot down, navigator would get the box out, put a message on the pigeon's leg and this is the message carrier.

So the message is, we are down and these are our coordinates.

Indeed.

Indeed, yeah.

Come save us.

One of the first medals awarded to a pigeon in the Second World War was one of the King's pigeons, called Royal Blue.

And his message brought home exactly like this, saved the lives of the whole crew of a Blenheim bomber.

NARRATOR: Yes, pigeons were awarded medals during the war.

In fact, the animal version of the Victoria Cross, called the Dicken medal, was awarded 53 times during the war, 32 of its winners were pigeons.

GRAHAM: Do you think it's fair to say without the help of the pigeon we would have lost the Second World War?

It would have been considerably longer and many, many lives were saved through the activities of pigeons.

NARRATOR: After the war, pigeons went back to their previously popular role of sporting stars.

It's hard to believe now but in the 1960s and 70s, it was pigeon races that adorned the paper's back pages.

With over 100,000 enthusiasts regularly taking part.

Pigeon racing still has many fans amongst them, is our very own celebrity guest.

I've written a song about a pigeon.

- Good.

- Did you know that?

I'm looking forward to hearing it.

Yeah, well, I'd like to play it for you now.

NARRATOR: Time for a treat.

With one of his most successful songs, "Pigeons in Flight," ladies and gentlemen, live from a field in Worcestershire, John Shuttleworth.

[MUSIC, JOHN SHUTTLEWORTH - "PIGEONS IN FLIGHT"] (SINGING) Pigeons in flight, I want to see you tonight.

I want to hold you, if I may be so bold to and tell you some things that you like to hear.

Oh my dear, in your ear.

Pigeons in flight.

I want to see you tonight.

I want to see you.

Oof, that's a funny ending.

GRAHAM: Thank you very much.

NARRATOR: Gosh, I never thought I'd see that on a road trip.

What can rivals Wayne and Phil do to match that?

They've headed North, back to Worcester, but this time to an antique shop run by the very lovely Gabriel.

Gabriel, lovely to see you again.

Hi, Philip, fine, how are you?

- This is Wayne, Gabriel.

- Wayne.

Hi, nice to meet you.

We've been buying all sorts of things.

And I haven't had too much say thus far.

Right, so he's going to really put me on the spot here.

But I want to try and buy something that he likes, I want to try and convert him.

Yeah, this is-- so far on all our trips I've been kind of pushing him to one side.

But now, this is our last stop.

Yeah.

And his job now-- It's his moment.

It's his moment.

NARRATOR: Our Phil's more than up to the task.

Oh a vintage toy track could be just the thing.

I quite like this, do you?

I do.

And I've got quite a lot of this type of stuff in cupboards at home.

Gabriel, how much is that?

What's the best on that?

That one I would take 45 pounds.

PAUL: It's a figure of 8, isn't it?

GABRIEL: Yeah.

WAYNE: Yeah.

No, it's just an oval, isn't it?

No, because you've got a bridge here, and I think-- where's the bridge, there.

At an auction, will would they set it all up so people can see it?

Well, you're in the hands of the auctioneer.

Are people that trusting?

When it's set up, yes, it looks beautiful.

But if it's not set up-- I don't know, you've got-- you're the expert, not me.

NARRATOR: Well first thing's first, is it complete?

And is it a loop or a figure of eight?

There's got to be a mathematical solution to this, isn't that?

I think you're right.

NARRATOR: Yes.

Or you could just put it together.

That looks like a nine to me.

That goes through there.

That doesn't work, it doesn't bring you back.

It doesn't bring-- Hold on, hold on.

Now you have the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

NARRATOR: He's got it.

That is good.

I think I've converted him.

I have converted him.

But if-- if it doesn't make money, it's your fault.

Thank you so much.

Right, we've got to pay you, Gabriel.

Very good.

Thank you.

All right.

NARRATOR: So with Wayne convinced and no need for further negotiation, the deal is done.

45 pounds for the cars and racetrack.

Thank you.

Bye.

NARRATOR: That's the shopping finished and now it's time for our teams to reveal their items.

Are you ready for this?

3, 2, 1.

Go!

Ta-da!

Ta-da, indeed.

That is so boring.

NARRATOR: Don't hold back, Wayne.

How can you say that's boring, Wayne?

Well it's-- It's beautiful.

I'm disappointed because I think-- That's very patronizing of you.

I think you have listened to the expert, only listen to the expert.

What?

What?

No.

I listened to my heart, Wayne.

I mean I can-- that's your heart.

I can imagine that because I know you like saving coppers.

Well interesting, that's the last item I bought.

But-- Newest buy.

What's that?

What's that?

What's that about there?

Well, Ruskin pottery.

It's Ruskin.

Phil understands that.

Yeah.

Ruskin potter and you knew a lot about Ruskin pottery, didn't you?

And that, well copper is in a bit, I suppose.

Look at the funny design, that's Egyptian, isn't it?

PAUL: No.

Looks Egyptian, doesn't it?

What have you got to offer?

Come on.

Lift your cloth.

PHILIP: Right, hold on, hold on.

Goodness me.

NARRATOR: There's a lot of cloth to lift.

Man alive.

Like a fairground.

What I was going to say.

How much is it to get in?

Wayne, well, my first reaction is it's very eye-catching.

But totally unsellable.

What's the sell by date on your Kilner jar?

- It's long since gone.

- Body parts.

What is that?

WAYNE: These are over 30 years old.

And we've got a box of them.

A proper full box of 30-year-old damsons.

Of course you have.

That door needs sanding down.

Awful condition.

It needs a bonfire, is what it needs.

WAYNE: The door is-- you know it's perfect-- it's got a perfect patternation on it.

It's-- the woodworm is just the right amount of woodworm.

PHILIP: Can I just say, I think this is queue for us, we've won.

Come on, quick, quick.

Off, off, off.

We'll see you at the car-- I mean the auction.

We'll see you at the auction.

Get a move on.

NARRATOR: So what did our duos think of their rivals lot?

Were you affected it all, or pigeon plop?

How we doing?

Well, I think that we will win because it seems unlikely that we will.

And often unlikely things happen.

That cat.

It's funny, isn't it?

- Yeah.

You know.

But I think he, you know-- I think he actually thinks that cat's going to be his savior.

We didn't discuss the lovely painting.

The porridge oats man.

We didn't, they were-- intimidated by the painter.

Fine art.

Compared to their barn doors.

Yeah.

You're not trying to humor me, are you Paul?

Do you think we've got a chance?

Yes, I do.

We've won.

In my opinion, we've won, yeah.

What a man.

What a man.

NARRATOR: And so, to auction.

After starting in Shropshire and winding their way through Worcestershire, this unconventional road trip will draw to a close in the beautiful Cotswold town of Stroud.

They're heading towards the sometimes called Covent Garden of the Cotswolds.

Home to a famous farmer's market and its own Fringe Festival.

But today, it's all about the antiques.

GRAHAM: It's a lovely day, Wayne.

You're prepared for a big defeat at the auction?

Well, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to beat you by a considerable margin.

But I have been having nightmares about the cat.

GRAHAM: Have you?

WAYNE: The disco cat.

GRAHAM: Well, that's because you're frightened subconsciously.

You know that you're going to suffer a heavy defeat.

I reckon it's going to fetch between 200 or 300.

Pence if you look it.

NARRATOR: We'll soon see.

They're arriving at the aptly named Stroud auctions.

GRAHAM: We're here.

Entered quite in the auction in, John.

GRAHAM: You worry unduly.

How are you, my friend?

- I'm really well.

- Good to see you.

- Nice to see you.

- How you doing, Wayne?

I'm all right now that's-- In the safe zone.

John, how's it going?

Great day for victory.

Ready for the fray?

Yeah.

How are we going to do?

Well, I'm pretty confident, you know.

Doesn't seem it, does he?

I'm really worried about that sugar bowl.

The sugar bowl's just come back to me.

It's the disco cat that's bothering me.

Everyone's calling it the disco cat.

Well I'll take that if you like disco cats, I'll take that.

Can we persuade the auctioneer to say disco cat?

Let's go have a look, shall we.

Let's go.

Go on, my friend.

Go on.

NARRATOR: Today's auctioneer is Nick Bowkett.

What does he think of our team's idiosyncratic items?

My personal favorite is the rollerball.

I think that's sort of quite nostalgic.

I think it's quite in fashion.

And it's a little bit different.

The Ruskin vase, Ruskin is very popular and we have a big following for ceramics in this auction.

So I would think it would make 40 or 50 pounds.

I'd see it in that sort of bracket.

NARRATOR: Both teams started this road trip with 400 pounds.

Paul and John have spent 136 pounds 20 pence on six auction lots.

Phil and Wayne also have 6 lots and have spent 203 pounds.

As well as the bidders on the phone and in the room, there's a lot of interest online.

So with great expectations, let's start the auction.

First up is John's money box.

John did predict this would make double figures, so good luck.

Got 12 pounds on the book, two bids [AUCTIONEER CHANT].. NARRATOR: Straight in at double figures.

AUCTIONEER: 14, 14, 16.

16 pounds.

16, 18, on the net now.

18 is the same as me.

18 pounds.

At 18 pounds.

1.20 pound.

We've gone the right way, Wayne.

NARRATOR: By my calculations, that must be one of the biggest percentage profits the road trip has ever seen.

Well done, John.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] I'll congratulate you on that.

Thank you very much.

NARRATOR: Next, it's Wayne and Phil's wooden crates.

I can open the bidding up, conflict on the book, at 35 pounds.

What?

35 pounds for the fruit crate.

38 was with me, 40 takes me out.

Any further bids?

At 40 pounds, we'll sell.

NARRATOR: Great profit.

Is this a sign of a vintage loving audience?

I think you'll see that at the moment I am in the lead.

Yes, you are.

Yes.

Just slightly.

NARRATOR: Now it's Paul and John's Pears poster.

I have a commission bid of 10 pounds, 10 pounds.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] It's going up, it's going up.

12, 14, now 14.

I have.

Up 14, 16, 18, 18 pounds.

20.

Nett bid 20 pounds.

22.

Conflicts on the net.

Selling them to the net at 22 pounds.

NARRATOR: It's a small loss, but still early days.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] But you lost eight pounds.

Yes, we did.

But we'll get it back on the next item.

NARRATOR: It's the door beautifully displayed outside the auction room.

I can open the bidding up at 5 pounds, 5 I have.

You have got to bid.

5 I have.

AUCTIONEER: 5 pounds, 6, 7, 10, 12.

12, what's happening?

12 I have.

12 pounds now.

14, 14 in the room.

You took the Mickey out of me so much for that.

Look it's going up, look at the people bidding it in.

Come on.

18 and selling at 18 pounds.

NARRATOR: Another great profit for Wayne and Phil.

- Well-- - Well done.

There we go.

Well done, Wayne, 18 pounds.

NARRATOR: Here's the copper kettle for John and Paul.

20 pounds I have.

At 20 pounds.

22, 28, 32, 35, 38, 40.

40 is with me still, 40.

42 I'm out at 45.

At 45, 50.

50 pounds.

50 I bid.

It's going.

Up 50.

55 on Stuart's phone.

55.

Hey, it's catching us up here.

With Stuart.

NARRATOR: That more than makes up for the earlier loss.

- There well done.

- Thank you.

Yes, thank you, mate.

Well done.

Yeah a bit of respect for him, don't we?

Yeah.

NARRATOR: Wayne actually bought this next lot in an antique shop.

I've got two bids on the book at 48, it was the bidding.

At 48 pounds.

Oh.

48.

48, 50.

Room bid 50 pounds.

It's with-- I have-- I have an awkward bid 51.

52 to you sir?

52.

52.

Any other bids at 52?

Selling then, room bid 52 pounds.

GRAHAM: Yet another great profit for Wayne and Phil.

It's John's Ruskin vase now.

Bought with expert advice.

35 pounds.

35 on commission.

35, 38, 38, 40, 40 pounds.

42.

45, 45, 48, 50, 50 pounds.

Come on, come on.

AUCTIONEER: 60, 65 net, 65.

65, 75, 80, 85, 90, 95.

At 95 selling to the net, 95.

GRAHAM: Paul was spot on about this antique.

More than doubling their money.

Back in the game on that one.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] You're more than back in the game.

Yeah, well done.

Thank you.

NARRATOR: Here's the most interesting lot of the day, Wayne's assorted barn finds.

20 pounds.

20, 20, 22, 25, 25, 28, 30 30 I bid.

32, 35, 38, 38, 40.

40 pounds.

42.

42, 45, 48.

It's with the net at 48 pounds.

50, 50 room bid, 50.

Any other bids?

50 pounds we'll sell.

NARRATOR: Well that is quite amazing.

Great profit on one of the road trip's most eclectic ever lot.

Hats off to you.

Good lot.

NARRATOR: The sugar box next.

Paul and John need a good profit on this to stay in the running.

Two bids on the book at 25 pounds.

28, 28, 30 still with me.

It's got 30 pounds.

With me still, on commission at 30 pounds.

NARRATOR: Another profit.

There's no stopping them today.

Now, it's what Wayne has dubbed the Christmas toy set.

The sledge and the racetrack he loved.

GRAHAM: It's rubbish.

Don't bid for it.

NARRATOR: And it's beautifully displayed, thankfully.

AUCTIONEER: Got the cars going, so they-- it does work.

Someone start me off, 30 pounds.

30 bid, thank you.

30 bid.

30 it is, 30 pounds, 32.

32, 32 I have.

35, 38, 38, 40, good mixed lot, 42, 45-- Wayne, Wayne, come here.

AUCTIONEER: --55 still with me.

At 55, 60, 65, still with me.

Oh my goodness.

It's going.

- Oh yeah, look.

You've got a fan in the audience.

That's 65 pounds.

It's selling then at 65.

Any other bids?

NARRATOR: This is some run, you know.

Not a loss yet for Wayne and Phil.

But now it's the hotly anticipated cat.

The item Wayne fears the most.

I can open the bidding up at 12 pounds.

12 I bid.

12 pounds.

AUCTIONEER: 12, 14-- 14 on the internet.

AUCTIONEER: 16, 18, 20, 22, 25, 28, 28, 30, 35, 35, commission's out.

It's the star of the show.

AUCTIONEER: 42, 42 pounds.

Disco cat's our girl.

AUCTIONEER: Net bid at 42 pounds.

Don't you think it's solid silver?

AUCTIONEER: Any room bids?

42.

Selling then at 42 pounds.

NARRATOR: Unbelievable.

Well done, John.

Great profit for the disco cat.

You have little faith.

No, actually what you mean is we have little faith.

Yeah, that's what you mean.

NARRATOR: It's the roller ball game.

Can Wayne and Phil keep up their winning streak?

I've conflict on the book at 120 pounds.

120, 130, 140, 150, 160, 170.

Net takes the book out at 170.

180 On Patrick's phone.

180, 190, 200, 200.

200 net bid.

220, 200 on the net At 200 pounds.

Selling then, at 200 pounds.

NARRATOR: Outstanding.

This may just have sealed it.

- Well done, mate.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

- Well done, Wayne.

NARRATOR: What an auction.

Some bizarre lots but they didn't disappoint.

Let's see the final scores.

Paul and John started with 400 pounds and after paying auction costs made a very healthy profit of 78 pounds and 64 pence.

Giving them a grand total of 478 pounds and 64 pence.

Wayne and Phil also began with 400 pounds.

Wayne knew exactly what he wanted and boy has it paid off.

Making nearly 150 pounds profit after costs.

They finished the day with an outstanding 545 pounds and 50 pence.

Making them today's winners.

Gosh.

Hats off to you guys.

GRAHAM: Well done, Wayne.

Well done, sir.

Well done, Philip.

Well done, Wayne.

My man.

We did good.

They just did better.

PHILIP: Who's driving?

GRAHAM: I think I should.

- You.

Yeah.

- Go on then.

Chauffeur.

Yeah.

Yeah I'm your chauffeur now, aren't I?

I feel my status has become quite lowly.

Well, I enjoyed that.

And that was it.

Yeah.

That's right.

NARRATOR: That really is one of the most extraordinary road trips I've ever seen.

With some of the best profits for children in need.

Actually quite off-putting, you know them dice.

You were struggling a bit, weren't you?

I would say-- Couldn't find reverse.

I would say I'm balanced.

That I am a better driver of a classic car than yourself.

Even though you drive an ambassador regularly.

I do.

NARRATOR: And on that note, see you next time.

[OUTRO MUSIC]